My step daughter told her mom that I did the same thing, it never happened. I would either not worry about it or figure out how to communicate with them yourself. Cuz it could be untrue
Can the boy tell his dad about it? If he is uncomfortable with it then he could go to his dad and tell him, hearing it from his own sons mouth could possibly get a better result to.
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That’s disgusting. I’m so sorry you are going through this. If you don’t want to confront her then tell your son to talk to his dad privately (if they even get time away from her)
Show up at their house and confront both of them to their faces.
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Tell her to back off your his mother and since she already answers his phone/texts it should be easy to get ahold of her
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I be mad to dont blame ya lucky my son dad ant dating no one ant wont
He should not be forced to call her mommy that should be a choice of his own if he’s so chooses to and it’s okay but everybody else. If you have a custody agreement with the courts maybe try there
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Hell no!!! no one should make a child cal anyone mom or dad thats not right at all
First of all, that relationship clearly will never last because she obviously doesn’t trust him. Your ex has a responsibility to coparent and communicate with you, and he’s failing y’alls son by allowing the GF to stop communication between you two. It’s not her place to be the middle man. Stating it nicely, she’s out of her lane so run her ass over.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My exes girlfriend makes me son call her mommy: Help!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My exes girlfriend makes me son call her mommy: Help!
I have a step daughter, and her MUM is her favourite person in the world. I’m always conscious about not overstepping any boundaries and as my step daughter is my family, that means that her mum will always be a very important person in my life who’s feelings matter. That’s just common courtesy, but when someone doesn’t understand common courtesy in a situation it can be extremely painful and an uphill battle to try and explain to them that they’re not acting appropriately because they won’t be open to receiving that information let alone improving on it. This situation just screams of insecurities on her behalf… I hope you find a way to resolve this. I would go and seek legal guidance on how to approach the situation and what will happen if it escalated. Keep in mind any way that you try and contact him, whether it be at his workplace etc he will run back and tell her so Follow any and all guidance given to you by your lawyer, and good luck! I hope it gets getter for you 
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Take your son to a family members and drive over there and knock on her door:triumph: the nerve of someone forced love is nuts 
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Mama you better set the boundaries now and make it clear that you’re his mother and he will only be calling you mommy. And you need to tell them BOTH not just the father.
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Wow I’m angry just reading this. First, stop giving a F*** about what that b**** wants (I say that with love!) and put her in her place girl! That is YOUR child, YOURE his mother and she’s confusing that poor child! Just… no. If I were in a situation like this I’d keep my son from them completely and go to court but that’s me because I can be petty 
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And call that father. Talk to Dad anyway. She is very controlling and manipulative and maybe he doesn’t even see it
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I would be taking legal action as she is stepping over Boundaries as your right as the parent and the father’s right. The gf is also exhibiting controling behaviors which is a huge red flag.
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He would talk to me…or my lawyer. No way in hell would she be " in Charge" of my child, NEVER! I’m very clear with ex and wife , Very…and we got along just fine!
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I think texting is a good idea. It will allow you to have a time stamp and paper trail. So even if she decides to speak on his behalf, or whatever the case, it will be documented in full. You can take it to court…You need to address this
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I would think that a step parent punishing a child, pushing boundaries and obstructing communication with the father is something that can be addressed in court. The child is at risk of being abused in this situation and it’s your right as his mother to set your own boundaries in your son’s interest.
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Take him to court for supervised visitations. Your son can testify what your exes wife is doing. This way the visitation can be without the count of that mommy.
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Stop thinking about yourself and your ex and his GF ,think about making everything natural and pleasant for your son , he knows who his mum is , he needs to know it’s ok and it doesn’t worry you , if he is comfortable with it fine , and if not , he can , talk to her and dad himself , and , say can I call you a nickname instead ( dads GF ), He can sit with her and dad to pick a nickname that everyone is comfortable with. , don’t alienate him by making it a big deal. It’s not easy, but your the parent , your son does not need these trivial things to stress his life
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Time for court. Judge will put a stop to gf interference with your direct communication with father. He will forbid it. Request the judge enforce gf be addressed as a step parent as well as this could emotionally confuse the child and using the child like a pawn piece is not something the judge would appreciate. Judges don’t like mental games especially using a child. Write and email requesting this stop immediately or it will be addressed in court. Then just file the paperwork and don’t feed into the drama.
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As someone who grew up with step-parents, I will say emphatically that to force a child to call someone other than the person they’ve always known Mom or Dad is wrong. If the child chooses to call a step-parent Mom or Dad, that is fine because they are making that choice, and likely it’s because they have a good relationship with that person. But forcing a child is not okay. My dad tried to force me to call my step-mother “Mom”, and even under the threat of physical punishment if I didn’t (he was also drunk at the time). I told him no way. I couldn’t stand that ugly witch being a part of my family much less as a mother figure. Never force a child into something they don’t want to do, especially like this.
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This is not ok, your ex is a full grown man, the fact that this
Woman feels that she has the right to exert that kind of power is frightening. Your son is clearly being abused emotionally to appease this woman. He is the child in this. You need to seek legal counsel to protect this, and to stop her from doling out any punishment. She isn’t his mommy, and needs to be protected by an adult that can advocate for him.
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Well first of all, she can’t interfere with communication between biological parents that share custody, you can get a court order for her to stop (which she will ignore and give you more traction with the judge).
Second, if he’s allowing it, then there’s nothing you can do about what she wants him to call her as long as it’s nothing that would be a legal problem.
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Your child’s father needs to be able to communicate. If the new partner doesn’t like that then she shouldn’t be in the picture, period.
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I’d send the text after I pick my child up. That honestly sounds like a very very TOXIC relationship for your ex. If shes that controlling, I would highly suggest having a court order put in that only he can be present for drop offs and pick ups. Not her. So that way you can actually communicate with your sons father.
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Go and knock the door and speak to him
Or speak to him when he fetches your little one
Ask him in and speak in a separate room
Even if she is in the car tell him you need to have a word
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To save a big fight. Explain to your son what he already knows. She is not his mom and to play along. Then take his butt to court and document it all. Take that document to court with you.
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This is a hard one. You should be able to have direct communication with his father.that is the real issue. Her trying to control your child and the child’s father…hmmm big red flags . Maybe u and the dad need to go to a mediation meeting. And figure this out . Maybe she needs to be there too. I would definitely get to the bottom of this . How old is your son? That would also factor in .
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You need a lawyer or mediator and a meeting. This is too controlling and harmful to your son.
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The gf needs to mind her own business. But it is obvious the ex is allowing his gf to do all of this. I would talk to them both and set the boundaries. If they don’t respect that, then consult your attorney about what your next steps should be.
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Yikes that’s weird af. My bf has 2 boys from his previous relationship and I wouldn’t want them to call me mom. I also know that he has to communicate with her about the boys on a regular basis and I’m absolutely fine with that.
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You need to arrange a meeting and let them know how you feel together. Make it on neutral ground like a park and make it clear that you need to be able to talk to the dad even if it’s a compromise where she gets to be in the text thread or something. If he’s gonna be with a woman like that it’s not preferable but it’s his choice and sadly it effects the child. If they refuse the meeting I would consult a family attorney. A court can’t make her stop forcing him to call her mom but they could lay out ground rules and if you go to them with documented incidents where they broke the rules their visitation would be lessened. They need to work with you and not take control or let the new gf take control. It needs to be an agreed compromise. Not everyone will get what they want exactly but how it is now is not okay
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Why does she not allow you to contact your sons father? That is very bizarre. You should have open communication channels to discuss matters related to your child. And secondly she should absolutely not force your son to call her mum. Totally out of line.
I am a step mother to two beautiful kids and hubby and I also have a 4month old. Hubby and I have created a group chat on messenger with bio mum so we all know whats happening with the kids but she knows she can 100% call hubby or I for anything related to the kids whenever. Massive red flags 
sounds like she is very insecure
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No child should be forced to call anyone other than their parents Mom or Dad. You need to have an attorney arrange for you to have direct communication with your son’s father. It is not acceptable to go through another party other than an attorney, mediator, or family therapist.
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Honestly if all communication Has to be through her and you’re not allowed to communicate with your sons father I wouldn’t allow your son to go over there regardless of how your ex is as a parent he clearly isn’t that good of a parent if he can’t communicate with you despite the fact that his little girlfriend thinks otherwise and he’s allowing her to take charge of coparenting which is a huge red flag
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Sounds like you need a lawyer…this is 
…forcing a child is abusive…
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Hello no that is not OK!! I’m a step mum and have been Von for the last 12 years, because they still have a mum and it’s not me. Would you be able to reach your ex at his work? Or call and if she answers say you got something from school and require dads consultation on it? It is not OK by any means and your ex needs to know its not OK. Hope it all works out hun xo
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I went through this too… my lawyer said the girl has nothing to do with the communication between me and my ex and should stop acting like a child and grow up.
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This is a tough one as you can’t communicate with the dad. I would be furious if this happened with me.
Do you ever see the dad? In person? Perhaps when taking your son or him picking him up?
Maybe you need to arrange for this to happen if not then you can talk to him and explain how much of an impact it’s having on your son etc.
If he’s letting his new gf call the shots, then perhaps a bit of tough love needs to happen so he can see that this situation is between you and him and while she is entitled to her opinion, she does not get to control it!
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Your own partner sounds more of a concern to me - if he’s that controlling of YOU
, what sort of step parent will he become as your child starts to demonstrate more independence through teen years, etc?
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I personally think that the child has the right to choose to call the step parent by their name or mom/dad when they feel they want too, if ever. I have three children of my own. I have no problem with how they choose to addresses anyone as long as it is a choice they get to make. I raised my ex husband’s three children and my current husband has two children. So i have five step children in my life and I do not make any of them call me mom if they choose not too.
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That is NOT right by both. Try to get him alone or on the phone & tell him that’s NOT OK. I’ve been divorced twice w/kids & not once have a told any of the three to call someone else Mom or Dad, you only have one Mom & one Dad & that is who they should call them Mom & Dad… I also had a step daughter, now I have 2 more & I have NEVER expected them to call me Mom. They have their Mom & they call me by my first name.
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Take him to court for sole custody
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In Kentucky it used to be against the custody agreement for a step parent to make the child call them mom or dad. That has been several years ago and that was mentioned in the parenting class and from what I could understand the parent could have their visitation revoked over that. I really hope this helps and gives you some sort of direction. I wish you the best! 
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As someone who grew up with step parents, I agree. He should not be forced to call her mommy. Being upset because it’s upsetting him is totally acceptable. You definitely need to have a sit down and talk with both your ex and his girlfriend at the same time. As someone mentioned, you should tell them that if you can’t speak directly to his father, then he doesn’t go for visits. Your ex has custody, not his gf. Wondering if your ex realizes how your son feels about the whole situation? If she’s so controlling that he can’t answer his own phone, how much is she controlling everything else. After discussing with the two of them, I’d consider asking her to leave you and your ex to have a discussion between the two of you as well. Make sure he’s getting all messages from you etc. And ask if your son seems happy when he visits them. Ask your son as well.
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She is very wrong to be forcing this onto your son to the extent you say. Sounds like you’re handling it the right way. Maybe talk to your ex in person next time you can as this is obviously upsetting, rightfully so. I would be as well. She sounds extremely controlling. You’re handling it the right way to not involve your son in the drama, she is in the WRONG.
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I would joy be happy. I would tell your son under no circumstances do u call her mommy. And she’s not even his wife? She’s a girlfriend? No way. Write a note to husband and tell son to give it to him and ask him to call you personally or I won’t send your son.
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Your son gets punished for not calling her mom. That needs to stop. Send him a text that both of you need to talk about this problem.
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I have 2 stepsons and I have been in their life for 9 years now. I will never make them call me mum, they have a wonderful mum and I would not take that away from her. They know I love them. Making a child call you mum is wrong on so many levels. I would personally try and get the father alone, tell him to pick up his son at your house and have a word about how your son is feeling. X
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Totally wrong! My stepdaughter and I are SUPER close. And she (after many years) gave me the nickname “mum” and if she introduces me to anyone she says this is my stepmom and I refer to her as my bonus daughter. And you and the father should be able to communicate and if she truly loved your child she would NOT be doing this. Now my husband (on his own) chooses to pretty much only communicate with his daughter now that she is 19 and lives on her own. But yes there are times he and her mother have to communicate. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. With us all working together to raise and love the kids and not fight has made life so much healthier and happier for the kids! Maybe can your lawyer contact him or his lawyer? Goodluck and I will sure send good vibes and prayers!
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This is so wrong on so many levels. Sounds like your ex needs to find a new girlfriend. Sounds like she’s got issues and is controlling. She sounds like a real b###
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For a start to only be able to communicate with the gf and not the dads farther would be breaching the custody arrangements would have thought …how do you know gf is not deleting msg etc …personally I would only ‘talk’ to x as communication …this so called gf has no idea about children by the sounds and fir the bf to go along with it is just as bad
Take it up with her then if she doesn’t allow you to talk to hus dad which I think is ridiculous cause you have every right to communicate with his father it’s a shame that she has that much control of the situation
You need to take him to court over that. If he can’t be man enough to tell his girlfriend it’s between you and him he needs to not have him for visitations. His girlfriend needs to take a bunch of steps back and allow your sons parents to communicate. Look at the example they are showing your son. Calling you by your first name probably to keep the peace. Calling.her mommy to keep the peace. Sorry to say but he is already involved in the drama
I’m married and would NEVER make my hubby’s kids call me mom. They have a mom. I’m just an extra one. They call me Lisa. The exes girlfriend needs to get a grip on reality. Even when she becomes stepmom she still shouldn’t force the kid to call her mom. Outrageous.
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You have every right to be upset. She is not, nor will she ever be, his mother. If I were you I would bring it up in a mediation or court setting (respectfully) if you and this woman don’t have that type of communication and you cannot address your child’s father directly. Her behavior could be harmful to your child emotionally and is 100% unacceptable.
My kids had to go thru that when my ex left us…. My boys told me they were forced by their step mother to call her mom and their father never intervened. I just as you wasn’t allowed to talk to him either…. Because of that my kids are bitter towards their father and her. I feel that it’s not right to force a child to call you mom if you’re the step mom… I have 3 step kids but
I never told them or forced them to call me anything other than my name… they already have a mom. It’s their choice of what they want to call me… now my daughter calls me mom. It has to be earned…. I love them dearly too. I’m sorry you’re going thru this… if you can change it do so!!
If your son CHOOSES to…okay. but the father should not be punishing him for not calling her mommy!
And he should not be made to cal his REAL mother by her first name!
That is absolutely NOT okay.
Also, if y’all are co-parenting…there should definitely be communication regarding your child! I understand if she doesnt want you calling him to chit-chat…but the father should be putting his foot down, and tell her that you should be communicating about your child!!
You should absolutely have a conversation with your child’s father!!
Honestly even if you address it they will do what they want anyway. I am speaking from experience. It’s not fair but as your child gets older he will see the bs for what it is. It doesn’t hurt to let both of them know and it also doesn’t hurt to take it up in court.
She sounds like a controlling hmm brat! Good luck for a smooth outcome, maybe try writing a letter addressing it to her & your ex.
If he is that great of a father he should be pulling this up!
This woman is only your ex’s girlfriend and she is stepping over bounds where it comes to your son. She shouldn’t be able to punish him, that is your ex and your place. She needs to step aside. I wonder if you could go back to family court and have his visitations modified. Maybe than he would see what is going on. It seems like he is turning a blind eye to it.
He should be able to call her by her name. She is not his mom and shouldn’t be forced to call her Mommy.
If she got kids some time they pick it up on there own just tell your son to do what makes him happy it will work out one day
I’d reach out directly to her and just have an adult conversation and ask her why she would even want someone else his calling her mom. To me that’s super weird. Let her know you don’t want your ex at all because it sounds more like a jealousy thing.
As I father I wouldn’t allow that. Your child mother is the mum
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Some good advice here. 1. Document, document, document. Keep a calendar, write everything down! 2. If custody arrangement is made through legal means then contact the “governing” agency (Friend of the Court, Family Court, whatever agency monitors the visitations, child support, etc) and ask them to intervene so you can have communication with the father. Don’t allow your child to go unless you can speak with the father! Your child knows you are his mom no matter how he is required to address someone else, Hopefully, your ex will see what’s wrong in his relationship or he won’t be a very good role model for your son.
Take them to court! And if it were me I would be having words with her. Fuck that. My kids are MY kids, they don’t need to call anyone else mom. She’s overstepping her boundaries and this sounds fucking psycho. If she’s punishing him for not calling her mom, then what if it leads to physical abuse? Because I feel like it could.
That s one for the police!!! It s coercion of a child. Ring their non urgent number and report her. They will take this seriously.
I’d suggest a formal letter to the father stating the impact of this approach on your child. Just raising the issue and asking for his response. No complaints about the new partner…just impact on the child at first. Keep a record in case it goes to court…
I would definitely contact my lawyer let him know said gf is not allowing you to communicate with your son’s father and then I would address with my lawyer fact gf is forcing your son to call her “mom”. Go over her head but within boundaries of the law. Don’t give in to her games, she is making him call her mom because she knows this will bother you & she is trying thru your son to hurt you, call her out on this now.
Isnt much you can do if father has joint custody your son has to follow rules of there house sad but true
My ex & his new wife did the same to my son. As he got older, he refused to call her anything except her name. I couldn’t make them change, and I did discuss it to no avail. Give it time. It’ll change.
Unless they are married she needs to butt out, girlfriend that’s your kid if you don’t stand up to her regardless of the drama then who will.
Unfortunately this is what happens parents split. Idk how old but just talk to your child, explain what and why. I’m kinda in the same position with my 9yr old. I just told him the truth.
I would have done whooped her ass! Hell to the No! That is not okay. If your son ever considers another person fortunate enough to share that title, that should be HIS choice and heart. Not at all hers. I would be soooooo pissed off.
She sounds controlling as all heck to do that to your son and your ex.
Is it all his texts/calls she replies to?
I’d be worried about what else she maybe controlling, whether is abusive in any other way to both of them.
It sounds like you might need someone with “authority” to step in.
Give your son the permission he believes he needs to love another person. A child feels they are betraying the biological parent when they love another person of the same sex. Tell him it’s OK to call her whatever she wants to be called so he is not in trouble when at their house.
use your attorney or get a mediator so that your words don’t get turned around or twisted when the girlfriend/dad repeats the request
He’s not being a good father for allowing this!! I’d put him (and her) straight!
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She is completely wrong and has no reason to be called mom…he has a mom and dad. And the fact that she dosent allow your childs father to communicate with you is ridiculous. She sounds insecure and controlling. She has more than a few issues with in herself and I personally wouldn’t want my kid around her…
That’s a civil court matter because he is the father and you’re the mother and she is not allowing you to communicate concerns about your child, especially if the child is getting into trouble because he feels uncomfortable. Take them back to court.
If I could not directly communicate with my children’s father they would not be going there period. If she is the go between she’d be informed to tell him to take me back to family court and I would definitely bring up the mommy thing whenever he mans up and communicates with you directly.
If he doesn’t want to call her mom he shouldn’t have too period
No way would my son call her mommy and there would be a lot said. Idc if he wasn’t allowed to talk to me. No way would my son get in trouble bc he won’t go there
Hopefully your ex will grow a set and dump the b**ch! I don’t know how old your son is but if this is affecting him emotionally it will reflect on his school work. I would contact the school to set up a meeting with them and JUST his father and see if a solution can be made. This new woman sounds like a control freak and there’s no telling what else she’s making YOUR son do!
Send a solicitors letter to HIM stating that this is inappropriate and you may seek further recourse if she does not stop this behaviour x
I think you need to talk directly with the dad and if that doesnt work,time to meet with both dad and his girlfriend and be firm."I am happy you love my son,but you are not his mom.please dont force him to call you mom
.look at dad directly in the face and ask him to please be diligent about monitoring this situation. Dont back down be nice,but firm
The judge told my ex husband himself to cut that sh*t out and wrote it into the custody agreement.
Ok so this woman sounds like a nut case. I have a stepson and I also have 5 of my own kids and he called me mommy all on his own and his mom threw a fit and was trying to say I was forcing him to say it. Here’s the problem I have 5 kids calling me mom and out of the blue my stepson calls me mom I didn’t correct him because I felt that if I did he would feel left out due to my kids calling me mom. So to try and make everyone happy including his mommy I tell him he can call me momma Lisa or Lisa I just feel super bad because I feel like if the child feels comfortable enough to call me mommy then I must be doing something right…
That’s not working, that baby has 1 momma that’s it.
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The only thing wrong with your son calling her mommy is that she is forcing him to and that’s child abuse. You need to have a serious talk with your ex and his girlfriend and tell them they need to stop or you will need to report them.
Looks like you chose the wrong person since you cannot speak to your x even for the sake’s of your son you have more problems than the other woman
I would say something to her if she’s answering his calls and text. Think of what you have to say to her then say it when she answers
I would not like it either & go straight to their house & tell her to her face
No child should be made to call someone mom or dad.
That is an earned title.
I would tell your ex this is wrong. A child has only one mom the one who gave birth