Wait…if you share custody, do you not have contact with the father while child exchange, giving you a chance to discuss this with him?
If the child gets into trouble for not calling gf “mommy”, then it does not even matter if she lets you talk to dad, talk to HER because she is the problem. Forcing the child and punishing for not complying to use such and intimate title and role in the child’s life such as “mommy” when you are not mommy, is a no-no. This is a fight she cannot win.
Now for me, if it was a LTR for a dad, and gf was respectful in her role and loving to the family, then maybe I would be open to consider her a “Mommy 2” or “Mommy (name)”, but it would be my child’s choice and comfort level, never forced.
But this B is NOT respectful of her place and your family. If you want to talk to dad first but can’t (that still confuses me…child exchange in person?), then it more than okay to talk to her and put her in her place.
See legal council this is so wrong its pathetic or just assert yourself and dont take her bullshit anymore - get a backbone and do whats right
He’s not a good example for your son. Sounds like an abusive relationship, with his girlfriend being the abuser. I agree with almost all of the suggestions. I don’t know the rules in your state, but are you legally allowed to record her?
I would loose it! Not a chance in hell! And good father ? The fact that he get in trouble for not calling some screwball that’s not his mom, mom. And he calls you by your first name infront of him and he says nothing ? And your son was upset enough to tell you about it the situation would change really quick for them let me tell yah she’s just some girl your mama for LIFE! Fuck that bitch tell em all how you feel and what’s wrong with the picture because daddy got A LOT OF STEPPING UP TO DO!
She’s crazy, be very careful. He should take a stand with her.
Put a stop to your son going g around there till the issue is sorted… I feel for your son having to go through that abuse… poor boy…
This is something you need to talk to the gf about. She has no right to tell your what to do, especially that.
I’d take legal action, that’s parental alienation and more. That’s against the children’s bill of rights.
That is inappropriate. Now if he was doing it on his own, thats different. My boyfriends 2 children call me mom on their own and I’ve even said I’m okay with either and she flipped out on them for doing it which I dont think is right. But for your situation I definitely think she should not be doing that. They are not married.
Hunny, I’m not telling you what to do. But as for me and my house, Jolene would have her ass whipped til hell wouldn’t have it. Go tell that to her mommy. Hell no that’s not OK.
Ps you need to get a court order at least regarding the child’s care, if he won’t communicate with you.
you don’t need your new partner and you need to set father and he straight
You definitely need to address the situation and not just because it hurts you but because your son is getting in trouble for not calling this seemingly immature woman Mommy… I wouldn’t give a rats behind if she doesn’t want any contact between you and the ex because you and he are the PARENTS and will have many occasions where you will need to communicate and attend any events involving your son, ie: graduating, marriage etc etc… You message the ex, set a day and time to meet and you make sure your son, if he’s a small child, is with a sitter or at school. And while your at it, set this gf straight about how parenting works, by both parents communicating.
Sounds like a big nope to me. I’d be requesting to sit down with them both asap and tell them this is not okay. If it doesn’t stop if find a way to stop letting him over there. If he is uncomfortable with the situation.
File a order in probate court period! For a order between you and father, they will order him be the communicator, you need to file also child abuse charges that is child abuse. Mental abuse . Possible physical if he’s getting in “trouble”
Excuse me but he has 1 mom and if he gets in trouble than you as his mom needs to confront your ex
Since you are still legally married would she be ok if you called the kids father your husband or spouse? Which since your still legally married is accurate. now who is concerned about labels?
Oh hell No!! I would be furious if he was made to. If they had been married along time and he chose to, perfectly fine… But oh hell… I would literally be screaming on someones doorstep!
The real problem is that you’re not allowed to speak to him. Yes it sucks having your partner talk to their ex but you have kids together and that comes first. So either get rid of that guy or tell him you need to have contact for certain things. Have him read the conversations if need be. Then you can move on to your other problem. That’s inappropriate for the step mom to be doing that. Once you have contact with your ex, you’ll be able to document everything and take it to court for your advantage. Your new man and your kids step mom shouldn’t be so toxic to your family.
Call that chick out!
U need to address it full stop there must be some communication when U drop off pick up Ur child talk to him then this is not ok!
I had the same situation. He even made my son give her the gifts he made in class.
This can have a lasting effect. I thought I was doing the right thing by teaching coping skills. Wrong. Just because I wasn’t playing head games didn’t mean the games played by the girlfriend didn’t hurt my son.
Your ex is chosing her over his son. You just happen to be the weapon. Your son will figure this out fast.
This can cause serious issues as your son matures in his ability to trust and form relationships. Even his drive to succeed.
Call a lawyer now. And a good child psychologist.
These comments about meeting or emails are well intended. But with a narcissist B, there is no meeting in the middle, let alone respecting you as the mother. Chances are she intercepts the email anyway.
I hope my lessons learned can help you.
You need help first communication is a must if it’s not allowed your realationship is in trouble already
Then text her and tell her. Since she’s the one taking over all communication
Sounds like your ex needs to get a backbone and grow some 
Have your attorney send a cease and decist letter. Be prepared to follow up in court f if they don’t comply!
Nope…I would have put her in her place real fast…and the ex as well… if you don’t step up and put your foot down now it will only get worse.
She is way out of line. I would be so pissed off if someone thought they could intrude on a role that isn’t theirs. I would want to kick her ass (not actually but y’know 
) I wouldn’t put up with it and I would be upfront with her about it. And talk to your son let him know he can talk to you and tell you the things going on over there even after you talk to her because she may get him in trouble for telling you things that happen over there (I had been in situations like that and didn’t feel comfortable telling people the truth of what’s going on in fear of punishment.)
Whatever you do document it. Whether you record your son telling you about it or the girlfriend says something to you or his father doesn’t respond — document it. Date/time/who/what was said. It may be necessary to have a mediator sit with the 2 of you. If the girlfriend comes, let it happen but ask for it to be recorded.
Nope. Nope. Nope. I would lose my shit. I am his mom, and only me. I have a friend that her step kids call her “mama Ash” but they KNOW who their mom is and know who their step mom is. It’s NOT up to HER about anything. And if your ex can’t address it I would say it’s time for a lawyer to get involved. It’s actually abuse and if your son is calling YOU, his MOM, by your first name, he’s probably confused. Good luck 
Go to court and have communication specified
You’re poor bubba that must be really confusing and saddening for him 
you must be able to co parent… hmmm
Call or text while he is at work and she is not around.
Sounds like the father has no backbone…ugh!
Text her that you want to speak to the child’s father or you will take legal action.
I’d have a talk with the new stepmom. A very heated talk.
Not married -not his STEP MOMMA
Sorry she is not is mom he only has one mom and that is you
He is YOUR son not hers she is not his mother
She has no say over your relationship with your son. Shit she has no say whatsoever that your child does.
What everyone says… Your the mom and you have rights PERIOD 
Go back to court and talk to the judge about all that. This sgould not be happening
You need to handle your business. Be a Man! FMI
Call him while you know he’s at work and she can’t answer his phone.
Please keep reassuring your son that he has done absolutely nothing wrong. You need to communicate with the father regardless… Maybe start with a letter to him letting him know communication is what will be best for your son. She obviously has insecurities to be demanding being called mummy 
but trust me kids see through adults BS. Just keep being your best you for your son and he will thank you one day for being his rock.
I am a stepmother and never tried to step into my husbands daughter life as her mother. I did pay for college but they now live side by side. You Ex is at fault. I don’t know what you can do except repeated tell you son that you are momma. Tell him I am your momma and love you so much. Since they are punishing him, you being loving and affectionate will trump all that negativity. She has something wrong, some ego trip. Don’t fall into the trap she is setting. Be your loving mommy self. My mom told me the story about my birth so many times. She is long gone, but I remember that so well. My dad was a jerk, so it was very important that my mom was so loving.
I respect both my parents partners! We were treated as their own and our parent was ALWAYS the one that growled us over the big stuff.
We were allowed to call them whatever and we always preferred to use their names.
They are all our parents in some form but my mum is my mum and my dad is my dad.
*Note all information and maintain contact with the father regardless of whos answering the texts (paper trail).
My partners step-mum was culled by the courts for the shit she did to the kids and was ripped to shreds for wasting court time.
It is hard BUT YOUR CHILD COMES FIRST AND AT HIS REQUEST HE HATES IT!
She’s overstepping her boundaries.
Tell her to fxxk off Jayus 
I would get mediation. Or maybe a counsellor. Because that is not OK. And the fact that she’s pushing that makes me question her as well, So talking to her one on one might not work.
I immediately saw red. 
I have no advice, I’m too pissed off right now
Just take them to court over it. She can’t make you go thru HER to speak about your son, she’s can’t block you from your coparent. Court will help with that and tell her to butt out. They will also address the calling her mommy thing. Thats a confusing and emotionally unstable thing to put a child thru.
Talk to the woman straight. If doesn’t work talk to your son and explain that if that makes her happy do it to make her happy but she’s not really his mother, in life you sometimes gotta do something you don’t want to do full heartedly to keep peace.
I’m sorry this is happening to you. This is not right
Teach him to speak up about it, and to be comfortable speaking with his father about it. Definitely overstepping, as no child should be forced into anything like this
She sounds psychotic. No, your son should not call her mom. You need to try to get a message to your ex to meet. Can you go to his work place to try to explain to him
For anyone saying take them to court…for what? Full custody? If dad is as sackless as she’s making out, it won’t stop when they’re together. Its not illegal to make a kid call her mum. Just immoral.
Hellllll no. Id be PISSED.
I wouldn’t discuss anything to do with MY child with her. If the child’s father wants to know whats going on HE can speak to you.
I’d even discuss going back to court over it. She’s punishing YOUR child for not calling her “mommy”???
Thats absolutely crazy and mentally abusive because she’s NOT the mother, she shouldn’t punish him to begin with especially over not calling her mommy. I honestly wouldn’t care about the drama it causes at that point, I’d be going over there to speak to her and the father of the child face to face and tell them to get their shit together.
Get a temporary order stopping him from going to the father’s house because of the emotional abuse and lack of communication with the father.
No way, tell the ex your son will not ever be calling her mum again and if she tries to punish him for it you’ll be in court…
Yep you are mum and that’s it…
My step kids called me by my first name, they occasionally slipped up and called me mum, but I would never have forced them to call me that, they have a mum and I would absolutely have hated my girls calling someone else mum when they were younger if my husband and I had separated…
She is absolutely in the wrong. That is not her child and you are within your rights as his mother.
Your child comes first.
It’s part of being with another. And the fact that u can’t talk to ur baby’s dad is wrong. U have a child together no matter what and need to talk to each other for the child. I think this new person in his life is insecure about her self and scared. I went to my girls bday party every year after she was born. And watched her new boyfriend hold my kid as she opened presents when her mom wouldn’t let me. It sucked and hurt allot to watch that. But their can be two dads and two moms in the world when ur not with that person anymore. People are people most are insecure about their x’s x. Ur gunna have to get him aside and talk even if it’s getting coffee or luch and talk to them. But some people are crazy and won’t allow it and that’s sad too especially when it’s ur kid keep ur head up and stay strong for u and ur child. Sry this is happing to u.
No your baby boy has only one mum x I just text the dad as she read them you will be telling it’s out of order as it upset your son if the dad is good he will put a stop to it right away as it not good for your son … never should happen tell them staight the boy only got one mum that you end of
Have him call her Pretend Mommy, or Mommy the sequel, Wannabe mommy, and he can call his dad Whipped daddy.
Sounds like someone I knew
Do you have an older sister, or cousin? If it were me, I’d sick big sis on her. Then I’d make it clear to MY baby that MOMMY is the one with 2 eyes, 32 teeth, 10 fingers, and a triangular nose. But that’s just me.
Call him at work or send a letter to his work marked personal
what do u mean " new partner wont allow " you to communicate?
id show up at the house to speak to the father
Tell dad in person. Then you 2 can talk to your son. Without gf.
Um no…fix that pronto!!
Your now boyfriend won’t allow you to confront your sons father about sometjint that is bothering both you and your son ??? Kick him to the curb and shame on you for not doing it
Just be the best mom you can be to your son talk to him he will figure it out eventually
HEEELLLLLL NO OMG HELL NO! they make him do it and he gets in trouble if he doesn’t? And makes him call his MOTHER by her first name? No. How do you get your son to him? Do you meet up with him? Talk then. And if she’s with him and has something slick to say, sorry, I’m probably fightin that day. 
It’s her you need to speak with, directly. Not him.
Apparently he is not such a great father if he allows that BS!
And it will always be your baby. Bonus moms are a blessing.
Ask your son what he wants to call you.
Well then honey you tell that b**** what is up!
That is very weird! And not allowed… also she’s just going to make it harder for the father when you take it to court I’m sorry but you are allowed to have communications with the father because you have a son with him and the judge will more than likely shred that hoe a new a****** for even trying to pull that b*******
Absolutely fucking not. My stepson calls me Ashley and that’s that. He calls his mom mommy and nothing else. That’s how life works. She sounds like she needs a wakeup call. And by wakeup call I mean your ex needs to step up and correct that behavior. Unacceptable.
I’d be throwing punches if me and my partner split and his new mrs was making our son call her mummy. You are his mum and his only mum. It’s nice knowing she cares about him but unless she was there at conception or birthed him she has no rights over him. I would call him knowing she will answer and get her told straight that you and your son do not appreciate her forcefully making him call her mummy and if it carries on you will be seeking legal advice. And if they carry on punishing him for not calling her it then there will be serious issues
Fuck that bitch you TALK to him as much as u can when it come to your child and if he doesn’t want to be an adult just keep the child it is mental abuse what she is doing and if dad is not protecting him u have too period
Wouldn’t be going to his dad’s. End of. That’s mental abuse forcing child to call his step mother mum??? Nahhhhh. Would result in a slapping if it was mine. No! Sorry but the child wouldn’t be going. That may seem unfair to some but the way she is with calls and txt??? Controlling. She resents your son 100%.
There is only one mom and one dad. As long as the mom is in his life she is not entitled to force this child to call her mom.
She knows it bothers you, so don’t let it. At the end of the day he knows who his mommy is, and when he grows up he will resent the father and her for doing this to him, if he doesn’t like it. Let them be petty and you rise above, if they know this bothers you, they will continue. Try to ignore the small stuff, like you said his father is really good to him, that’s what really matters. She will deal with the consequences of her actions when he gets older, trust me. Let them deal with their fate and you just keep being a good mom. He knows the difference.
No it’s wrong …she’s the girlfriend , suppose the father and the girlfriend break up…then what is the kid going to think ? Very stupid of the girlfriend …and the father is a wimp…because he should be putting her in her place.
Ah hell nah! I would be going to court. It should be in the custody agreement that he’s available for discussing things over the phone, etc. You can also go to his house and have a 1 on 1 with him. That is so not okay! I would talk to your son and tell him to never address you by your first name, only as mom/mommy. This pisses me off and I don’t even have kids! I dated a guy once when I was younger who had a 5 year old daughter. He barely had any custody as he lived several states away. One time she was visiting and we met and hit it off. She and I even had 1 on 1 time. She asked me if she could call me mommy. I made sure she knew that was a special title reserved for her mom and she could call me by my first name, which she did, with Miss put in front of it to show respect (her dad came up with that, not me).
If she’s making him that’s wrong … If he chose to call her that I wouldn’t mind … But her making him would piss me off.
Tell her face to face. It’s your child, don’t hesitate. And if the child gets punished for it, by her, maybe it’s time to take a look at that custody again…
Who the hello does she think she is? You’re right to be concerned, highly! Not cool. This would be a face to face, and if you can’t arrange that then as some have said it’s something to go to mediation over. She’s missing a few screws for sure.
What a pansy this ex. Letting his current run the way he parents basically. Probably runs everything. I’m on board with the lawyer threat. Throwdown would be epic but I shouldn’t promote violence. 
This story has me heated.
Oh H*ll to the no! 1. You’re his mother. 2. If he’s not comfortable with calling her Mom, then he shouldn’t have to do so. 3. Have a talk with his dad about the situation.
Your ex is NOT a good father if he allows his girlfriend to make your son call her Mommy, You are his Mommy… no one can take your place and should not be allowed to try… She needs to have a child if she wants to be a Mommy and not try to take yours. The greatest gift a many can give his son is to respect his mother, Your ex is not respecting you .
First of all you need to take a step back and come to the realization that your sig other will move on and they will eventually find another person …the biggest thing you can hope for is that they get in a positive relationship and thrive …
Co parenting is a fine line as what u should bring up and what u shouldn’t …yes we will not always agree with there choices …but choosing ur battles is the only way it will work …co parenting isn’t always fair and 90% of it is keeping our own pettiness in check …
Kids first always
You and him should be able to communicate about the child. The new gf needs to learn her place
I suggest you send your child with a recorder or something of that sort… If thats going on behind closed doors I can already imaging what type of mental abuse is going on in their home. I hope you and your baby can manage to get some help because from the sound of it, your childs father sounds like a straight yes man. What a loser. Hes losing his childs trust and thats the most valuable thing a parent can have.
Dang. Maybe your ex needs to grow a pair. Any texts or calls concerning your child don’t involve her and he needs to make that clear like crystal!
You have every right to be upset. This woman is not his mother and should not be forcing anything on your child. Could you put the issue in writing and send it registered post addressed to him so that only he is able to receive the letter? Alternatively you may just have to go over there and tell them face-to-face. Failing that, they’d be getting a letter from a legal representative. If your ex chooses to allow this woman to control, manipulate and dominate him, that’s his prerogative. He has no business allowing her to do that to his child. Time for him to stand up. I’m all for living peacefully and peaceably with exes, but not to the extent I would allow them to override me or cause distress to my child.
Over 50 years ago, my husband’s little boys (5 and 6), came to visit us out of state for a week. The first 24 hours were chaotic, until I found from them that their mother had been beating them “with a coat hangar, a belt, and a stick”! After lots of hugs and tears going both ways, they were calling ME “mommy”. I never asked. I think that the bond created in such a short time showed them who loved them…me. I will never forget that…never. We reported it to doctors and police, but, no one would believe us. They said, “no one beats their children”.
The new partner doesn’t allow it ???
Seriously babe. If it’s not court orders
Then go see your x