My Family Had to Move Into a Motel and My Kids' Grandparents Are Threatening to Call CPS Because of It: Should I Be Worried?

Food & Nutrition
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QUESTION:

"I need advice from a third party. My husband and I had to move to a hotel. We have a two-bedroom, and my husband sleeps on the floor, and our boys sleep in one bed, and my daughter and I share the other bed.

Their grandparents are trying to make it harder for us. They suggested our kids LIVE with them Mon-Fri, but our kids and I do not want that! They hate it over there and now have made threats of calling CPS…

Fast forward a day, and they wanted to keep one of our kids, and we said no. We just moved to this hotel, and I need our kids to get situated. So they decided to threaten us again with CPS and make a call…

My question is, can they do anything? My husband and I don’t do drugs and are both working and have money, food, clothes… everything for our kids. Why are they being so hateful, and why can’t we be left alone? Can I do anything to counter their claim on us??? Thanks."

RELATED QUESTION: My sister in law falsely called CPS on me: Am I wrong for not wanting to be around her?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

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“If that’s the whole story, you shouldn’t have anything to worry about.”

“State cannot interfere if the kids are safe in that environment and you can properly care for them there.”

“CPS/DFS will not do anything about living in a Motel/Hotel. As long as there are no drugs, kids are fed and clothed everything will be fine. Keep calm and drop those grandparents, they shouldn’t be making threats like that. CPS/DFS are there to help families who need the help, not to threaten because they don’t like something you did.”

“They can’t do anything and shame on them for putting you through this. You both are active parents and trying your best is not of their business. I would cut them off entirely and let CPS come there is nothing they will do besides possibly give ideas on housing.”

“If they do call CPS I highly doubt anything bad will come of it. As long as the kids have a roof over their head, food in their bellies, a bed to sleep in, and clothes on their back then it should be fine… Sometimes you just have to do what you feel is right. Plus, if the kids tell CPS they don’t want to go there I doubt they will be forced to.”

“Let them call. They can’t do anything they are being provided for and are in a safe place.”

“I’d be cutting them out of my lives.”

“As long as you are taking care of their needs, food, shelter, and clothing, you’ll be fine!”

“If anything CPS would probably help you. I live in Canada and have had Child services in my life when my son was first born and instead of being a negative aspect in my life they actually helped me with many different thing. Pointed me in a direction if I needed food pointed me in the right direction if I needed mental help and I’m pretty sure if I was homeless living in a hotel they would probably point me in the right direction to get back on my feet as well. I’m not sure where your from but I really hope you guys get back on your feet. All the best.”

“I live in Oklahoma. When my ex’s parents tried that over and over, (we stayed 60 days in a motel while renovating a house we bought), DHS finally told them there was nothing they can do because they were housed, fed, and not being neglected. I also learned through this process that, at least in this state, you DO NOT have to let them interview your child without you. They will argue and call their supervisors but they will just be told to let the parent stay. Good luck with everything, and don’t let anyone bully you.”

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READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

28 Likes
2

State cannot interfere if the kids are safe in that environment and you can properly care for them there.

7 Likes
3

I don’t believe they can get CPS involved unless the kids are being abused or it’s an unsafe environment

1 Like
4

Let them call. They can’t do anything they are being provided for and are in a safe place.

5 Likes
5

If that’s the whole story, you shouldn’t have anything to worry about.

12 Likes
6

I’d say tell them to go ahead and try, and if it’s possible, cut them out of your life for a while.

1 Like
7

If you’re providing for your kids they can’t do anything.

1 Like
8

They are not living on the street so theres nothing that can be done. You are providing for them, the state will not interfere.

1 Like
9

I’m not sure what state you live in, but here in Indiana CPS might come inspect your rooms, but that’s it…As you said, you have everything you and your children need, you aren’t doing drugs and you both work. CPS is overworked and underfunded, you should be just fine.

2 Likes
10

I may be mistaken but I’m pretty sure clothed fed and roof over their head. No abuse you are not in the wrong at all. Cps will not do anything they may make a meeting to come see the living conditions aren’t horrible but other than to touch base and check in they won’t take your kids. Keep providing for your kids. Don’t worry about anyone else.

11

In Alabama cps will come investigate but as long as there’s food and water and electricity oh yeah the hotel is clean they won’t do anything

3 Likes
12

Nope, let them call. They are fed, clothed and cared for which is all that they will care about. It is not a crime to stay in a hotel with your children.

13

CPS/DFS will not do anything about living in a Motel/Hotel. As long as there are not drugs, kids are fed and clothed everything will be fine. Keep calm and drop them grandparents, they shouldn’t be making threats like that. CPS/DFS are there to help families who need the help, not to threaten because they don’t like something you did🤷🏼‍♀️

4 Likes
14

Nope cant do squat…clothed,fed and roof

1 Like
15

I wouldn’t worry they can’t do anything just cause your in a hotel as long as they have what they need and food they can’t do a dang thing

16

Tell them to make the call cps will have to follow up with the call but if the conditions are as u say nothing can be done… If they do call then I’d cut off all contact from them for even putting your kids and u guys through that

16 Likes
17

Let them call as long as the kids are good taken care off have food clothes etc on what they need cps cant do a damn thing bout it. When me and my oldest son sprem donner broke up he called them more then once on me and my husband and they didn’t see nothing wrong.

18

Depends on your local welfare laws. Here: a hotel is not considered stable permanent housing and would be grounds to remove the children from your care until you find an apartment or home to live in.

3 Likes
19

We recently had a foster placement from a hotel situation, the grandparents was the one who called. However they would never had been removed if the parents didn’t fail drug screens and have drugs in the room with kids. Besides that the kids had a roof over their head, food in their belly, just wasn’t in a safe environment. So as long as that is the entire story you have nothing to worry about.

2 Likes
20

They can call but as long as you are taking care of them, they are not abused and the hotel is not a dirty place with bad people they won’t get much from the visit

21

I had this problem…we were staying im a motel and my mother in law called on me…all cps said was if they were healthy and happy it didn’t matter where we lived and they left me alone…you shouldn’t worry much about it…

2 Likes
22

Many people lives in Motels now days…make sure its clean and there is food…nothing wrong with what your doing…GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY…

23

Depends on the state. Some states cps wont do anything unless the kids are in immediate danger. Like a lot of Americans right now people are losing their homes and have to resort to hotels/RV. So in this case I highly doubt cps would do anything. They would have to prove your unfit, which is not the case.

2 Likes
24

If cps is called they still have to investigate. I found that out the hard way. But hopefully it’s just a threat and they won’t

25

They can’t do anything as you fed house and cloth your kids

1 Like
26

And they have to prove you are unfit

1 Like
27

You don’t say why you moved to a hotel.

4 Likes
28

You have power and water so I dont see the issue each kid has a bed. If anything cos might take them temporarily because an allegation was made but it would be dismissed pretty quickly

29

I have been homeless in the past with my 3 kids and was in shelters and staying in hotels and my ex tried to take them cps told me as long as their fed and have clothing and having a place to sleep they could not remove them

1 Like
30

Anyone at any time can call CPS… CPS screeners will screen the report based on safety. You are providing for your family — as long as there are no safety concerns, there is nothing CPS will do. They could offer services, but there are no policies, legalities, safety concerns of children living in hotels. You’re okay!

2 Likes
31

I’d be cutting them out of my lives.

11 Likes
32

That is so sad! Its not like you’re neglecting the kids. I’m sorry they’re making things harder
For you! Hope everything gets better!

33

Is their a working stove? I know a mother in my state who had her child removed for this reason alone, an she was on budgeted income so she used microwave to feed them.

Depends on the worker to be honest theyll come an examine the current living coordinates an theyll tell you if anything needs done differently.

34

Let them make threats it just sounds like they don’t agree with the kids living in a hotel so they are trying to make life hard.
As long as the hotel is clean, the kids are fed and looked after then there shouldn’t be a problem.

35

They cannot do a thing…Shame on them for wanting to separate a child from their parents and siblings…Keep your children to gather, don’t let anyone separate them…

1 Like
36

Depends on where you live…as long as they are taken care of, no drugs stuff like that…I doubt CPS will do anything.

1 Like
37

Cps if they get involved, will come out and evaluate. They do also try to help to find a more stable housing situation.

1 Like
38

Let them call. I had my inlaws call years ago because my ex and I moved with the kids to a shelter instead of living with them. The social worker came out and said we had nothing to worry about because the kids were safe. The second time they were called, they informed us that the visit was only because of the law, but since it was the same person calling them on us (never disclosed who, but I knew) they figured it was frivolous. Told me that if they got anoter call (third from same person) legal action would be taken against the caller for reporting false claims.

39

Hmm i did hear a case of somebody who didnt have a fixed address and was living in a hotel with her kids and things did go badly…Im unsure of her full circumstances there could of been other factors…I suppose they could think of safety issues in a hotel and also if the children would feel secure…Im not saying living a hotel is wrong but ive seen things from the other side and i know how they deem things the cps…I guess at the end of the day if its temporary situation and the kids are safe and fed you should e fine x

40

Just went through this … my stepson (10) and his sister (5) had been living in motels one after another cause it’s not a stable room and board per say . Moving the children around is not good and the state did get involved . Placed both children. One with the other grandparent and 1 with us

41

More than likely no. I’d stop communicating with that part of the family for good.

3 Likes
42

They can’t just take your kids because you’re in a hotel. As long as they have food, shelter, clothing, heat, water, electric its all good.

1 Like
43

You don’t have to talk to them if they show up don’t answer the door tell them to leave

44

They can’t do anything and shame on them for putting you through this. You both are active parents and trying your best its not of there business. I would cut them off entirely and let CPS come there is nothing they will do besides possibly give ideas on housing.

3 Likes
45

Grandparents have no rights As long as you can provide them with a bed and no safety concerns then you have nothing to worry about needless to say those grandparents wouldn’t see my kids again!

3 Likes
46

Not to be a negative cloud here, but do you have a plan beyond the hotel? And soon? Maybe an apartment or something more permanent?

1 Like
47

As long as you are providing for your children it shouldn’t matter where you are

48

Sounds like they are making a case for custody by getting cps involved. Please join parents against grandparent’s rights Facebook group.
Go no contact as they are trying to take your children

49

Call CPS and tell them that they have been threatening you. You need to cut ALL contact with them. If you feel they are a danger to your kids you may be able to get a restraining order if they continue to harass you and threaten you.

50

In Michigan, myst have, running water, electricity, heat, working toilet, and food

51

If they are really doing this with you guys being good parents than I suggest cut the bond with them and they won’t know your buisness anymore and won’t threaten your family

52

The only thing I could see CPS saying is that the kids don’t have their own rooms like boys in one and girls in another. My cousin went through something similar and the whole issue was because they didn’t have their own rooms.

53

Cps has told us it is not illegal just not ideal to live in a hotel

54

Cut off all contact. Change hotels.

2 Likes
55

I agree with everyone else. Be prepared for a visit and prepare your children for them to be talked to at school. But as long as you’re providing for them there’s nothing they can do. One bright spot is they can help you get into your own place so you’ll be more stable.

1 Like
56

Hmmm I guess it depends on your state and possibly the social worker assigned to you. It may be kind of a gray area. Some might say as long as their basic needs are taken care of, that they’re not being abused or obviously neglected and no drugs or violence present then it’s fine. Others may say it’s not a stable or suitable environment for children to live in. Either way, if a case is opened up just be compliant and cooperative.

57

It guess it depends on the county’s cps. If this is only a temporary situation I don’t see them taking the kids over it but I see the case being followed up in a certain time frame to make sure they get into a permanent housing situation

58

I live in Oklahoma. When my ex’s parents tried that over and over, (we stayed 60 days in a motel while renovating a house we bought), DHS finally told then there was nothing they can do because they were housed, fed and not being neglected. I also learned through this process that, at least in this state, you DO NOT have to let them interview your child without you. They will argue and call their supervisors but they will just be told to let the parent stay. Good luck with everything, and don’t let anyone bully you.

1 Like
59

Let them call. Nothing will come of it. Here, if parents are struggling sometimes CAS or a social worker will actually help them get into a hotel situation short term.

2 Likes
60

Might be a good idea to let them call if the situation is good cps can possibly help with housing

1 Like
61

As long as you have a roof over the kids heads with food , heat, running water, toilet, beds and electricity cps won’t take your kids .As far as something that you can do on grandparents would just file a hassarment complaint with the courts. I am not sure how far u will get since covid-19. Good luck.

62

Ma’am I’m a CPS certified Foster/Adoptive parent Harris county TX, Do NOT let these people Bullshit you, You have provided a ROOF (clean stable environment) Heat, running water, clean clothes, food and Adult supervision while you’re at work there is NO GROUNDS to remove the children. If that were the case Every family staying in a Hotel due to Hurricane evacuations would be at risk of thier kids being removed. If they should call, simply being able to tell the investigator whom called is ENOUGH for it to be DISMISSED as a Spite call. It really pisses me off when ppl use CPS as a control TACTIC, it prolongs Help from reaching kids that TRULY need HELP!

63

Let them call CPS. If your not doing anything illegal there is nothing to worry about. It may actually benefit you and can possibly help and assist you financially for stable housing.

3 Likes
64

As long as ur providing it doesnt matter

65

What sort of grandparents are these people, record every conversation, actually record everything when dealing with them, this way you are protecting yourself and you can provide evidence of their threats.
Wishing you all the best.

66

Cps won’t do nothing people get placed to hotels who had house fires and damp to their homes

67

CPS in my experience is there to help…especially like you said you guys don’t do drugs, you both work. As long as food, clothes and shelter are being provided then you are fine. And obviously the kids are safe…call the grandparents bluff and don’t be intimidated by them. They sound very spiteful! CPS might even be able to help you guys with a more permanent living arrangement. They definitely helped me and my children out!

1 Like
68

It really depends on your state & the social worker you get. In some instances they may help you find a better situation. CPS has connections to get you section 8 or other housing help, furniture etc. On the other hand if you get a SW who feels all parents should be perfect it may be grounds for removal. They’ll probably need more than you living in a hotel though.

I’d cut gma off. She sounds like a controling bitch. Do what she wants or she’ll punish you. Most likely this isn’t the first time she’s tried to make you do something. This type of control usually starts out small & seems harmless at first.

69

Why is it that you’re in a hotel if you’ve got money for a suitable place? For what your paying nightly - weekly you can be paying monthly. … .
Hotels arent that great to have kids in full time. Specially if you dont have to

3 Likes
70

It seems like all the information about the circumstances is not in the posting…

71

Like everyone else is saying, let them call. Nothing they can do as long as you are doing your duties as a parent. Times are very hard right now with this pandemic so a lot of people have lost their homes and are living with friends and family or even hotels/motels. My friend lives in a camper with 6 kids. People have called CPS on her. Nothing happened other than they had to come investigate and clear their name. I would most definitely be coloring the in laws out of your life. They’re very controlling and manipulative. That isn’t healthy. You need people that love you and your kids and want to HELP YOU. If they’re so worried about it, why don’t they help you find a place? Again, sounds like they’re controlling. RUN.

72

Next time they threaten you look them dead in the eye and say go ahead. I’m not a bad parent. Have a great day! With covid people are losing their homes. It happens. You have made sure your kids are fed, and have a roof over their head. They are cared for. Keep your head up!

73

I would stop taking to them. But first tell them off cps isn’t going to do anything. You have a roof over they’re head and that’s what matters…A Plus for your family is the smaller the place the more bonding time you will have.

1 Like
74

I’m not really sure why anyone needs to know why you’re in a hotel to answer your question. Is it a little weird you’re in a hotel? Yes but we don’t need to know those circumstances. As long as you aren’t treating your kids badly then CPS can’t do anything. Id honestly be cutting those grandparents out until they apologize profusely for calling CPS (and mean it). If they have an attitude and continue to question your parenting, I wouldn’t even talk to them anymore.

2 Likes
75

All depending what state you’re in, living in a hotel is considered homeless.

2 Likes
76

Let them make the call as long as it is temporary and you have everything they need nothing can be done but let them know that if they do make the call all ties will be severed

77

Maybe you could ask them instead of calling CPS if they’d call a shelter or community agency to get you all some housing assistance

78

If anything CPS would probably help you. I live in Canada and have had Child services in my life when my son was first born and instead of being a negative aspect in my life they actually helped me with many different thing. Pointed me in a direction if I needed food pointed me in the right direction if I needed mental help and I’m pretty sure if I was homeless living in a hotel they would probably point me in the right direction to get back on my feet as well. I’m not sure where your from but I really hope you guys get back on your feet. All the best.

1 Like
79

I’d just stop talking to them completely, if their going to act immature and not respect you as a parent then you don’t need them. And if that pisses them off and they call CPS, what’s CPS gonna do? You don’t do anything illegal, you both work and your kids are safe and happy. Nothing to worry about

1 Like
80

Talk to them. Ask them if they care about your family and what could they do to help you all stay together as a family.see if they really are trying to help.if yes accept their help.if no set boundraries.i dont think cps is anything to worry about.and cps could also help you with suggestions of places to go to to get on your feet. Prayers for you. Put your babies first always.

81

Why r u in a hotel.
Try to find a place as soon as possible.
While looking for a place I’ll advice you to rent a Airbnb instead of a hotel.
As for the grandparents they can do nothing as long as what u said it true .

82

Yes, they can call CPS. Let those kids live with their grandparents until you and your husband get your life straight.

83

If they do call CPS I highly doubt anything bad will come of it. As long as the kids have a roof over their head, food in their bellies, a bed to sleep in and clothes on their back then it should be fine… sometimes you just have to do what you feel is right. Plus, if the kids tell CPS they don’t want to go there i doubt they will be forced too

3 Likes
84

Bloody hell in the uk, the local authority put families in bed and breakfasts/hotels/hostels whilst trying to house them

5 Likes
85

Well depending on what state your in, as far as I know grandparents don’t have any rights, so let them call you have a roof, food& clothes for your kids so be it. Keep your head up don’t let the gp get u down. Things will get better.

2 Likes
86

If you are worried about your living arrangements to what the grandparents is trying to do can you both get separate hotel rooms so there’s nothing that they can pin on you both I no it would be hard just try staying in front of them don’t give satisfaction

87

Id def get a place asap

88

As long as you are taking care of their needs, food, shelter and clothing, you’ll be fine!

3 Likes
89

They can keep a low risk case open… which means they have to do a check of where the kids live and such every 3 months. They can keep it that way until you sign a lease. As long as they find no other issues or “issues” that’s it. They have to do a final check within 30 days of you signing a lease to keep the case open.

90

it might be a good thing they can help u get a place they have resources other then taking ur kids explain ur situation they get funding for that no they cannot take ur kids for bein in a hotel when i had a fire i have 5 kids n a husband we stayed in a hotel for 2 weeks before we found a place n cys knew we were in the hotel they didnt take or threatin to take our kids n it had 2 beds let them know u know who called and the reason is because u refuse to leave ur kids with them n this is being done out of spite

91

They won’t do anything. It’s a roof over your kids heads

92

When filling out registration paperwork at school they ask if you live in a hotel and I have even seen school buses at hotels picking up and dropping off students. If living in a hotel was worth reporting I highly doubt the schools would send school buses vs CPS to these hotels. Child abuse child neglect and child endangerment are why CPS get involved so yea if they call CPS I would definitely not deal with them. The fact that they are even threatening to do so would make me not want to be bothered with them. They sound like troublesome individuals

1 Like
93

They won’t take your kids for you living in a hotel.

94

I wouldn’t worry about it. But I would let them know if they do call CPS, they won’t have to worry about seeing your kids.

2 Likes
95

As long as you are working theres no drugs or dv issues. You should be fine. They have a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. I dont know how old your kids are but if they are school age make sure they are getting to school and you shouldnt have any problems. Cps has higher priority things to deal with. Plus side if they do pay you a visit they may be able to help you find better housing. Good luck. I would definitely be saying good bye to those grandparents

4 Likes
96

As long as the kids are being taken care of and you are meeting their basic needs for care and there is no abuse taking place then it doesn’t matter. Anyone can call CPS at any time and file a report, what will matter is what CPS finds in an investigation. As long as you’re taking care of your kids then no, they won’t do anything. There are homeless children on the streets that are still with their parents. Contrary to popular believe CPS are not out to take kids from their parents. That’s actually a pretty extreme measure for them.

7 Likes
97

They don’t need to know your life. No one needs to know your Bussiness. It makes things so much simpler.
And I promise you. Child Services has way higher priorities than upset and jealous grand parents.
It sounds like your kids are safe, warm, they are most likely fed. And you are all together.
You MIGHT. MIGHT!! Get a visit. But right now during this pandemic social workers have way more important cases. It sounds like y’all are doing your best and they will see that.

Just let them run their mouths. Don’t let what other people say upset you.

2 Likes
98

I have been through the CPS cycle they can call and they will show up but they will get your side as well as your parents side, I dealt with my minor case for a year. All what happened with mine was that my 5 year old now 8 told her father (not together anymore) that my boyfriend hit me and that it wasn’t safe. He never hit me once, it was a bunch of yelling.

2 Likes
99

They most likely won’t take children away over just living in a hotel. In fact I would go and ask a social worker some questions so you can shut the grandparents up.

5 Likes
100

Your grandparents sound awful. If they truly cared they would offer their roof as a temporary means. At least your kiddos aren’t homeless. Move hotels and tell them to mind their business or tell them you are living on the streets so when CPS shows up they will think your grandparents are mentally ill do to age.