Little back story my two kids and I moved in with my fiance and his 2 kids, we have all 4 full time. His 2 aren’t into any travel sports and really sports in a competitive level at all. My daughter is almost 11 and has done All Star cheer going on her 4th season. She has busted her butt to be where she is, main flier & working in her full & layouts. (In cheer world this is a top level skill, she has worked tirelessly to get here). With All Star cheer comes some travel, especially since we live in the middle of no where, he feels she shouldn’t cheer because the other 3 kids don’t get to do travel sports. Its not that they don’t get too, his oldest is almost 14 and never has, because his mom & dad didn’t get him into it. I am the one who turned my daughter towards cheer & she happened to love it. My parents 100% supported us and if we showed the dedication and hardwork at something then we had their endless support. This is how I am with my kids, his kids as well. If one of the other 3 came to us and wanted to join a team they would absolutely be able too. I am not in anyway going to stop them.
I guess my point is am I wrong for letting my daughter continue to cheer? Just because my life changed and I moved my kids from their hometown & school I dont feel I should rip her from Cheer as well. I dont know what to do to get him to understand the time, love & hardwork she has put into this. Its the one thing I feel that’s keeping her grounded right now. Should I make her stop?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My fiance and I have had an ongoing disagreement about my daughter and cheering
No way in heck .
Nope.
She should absolutely continue, she earned it. It’s not her fault the others chose not to do anything
Girl! You already know if u pull her from cheer it’s wrong to do that and she will probably rebel. Tell him it’s not negotiable plain and simple
Just be careful of her attitude growing up. Cheer can create some horrible people
This shouldn’t even be a question girl!!! Do what’s best for your daughter if he doesn’t like then he doesn’t deserve the title of your fiancé!!!
He sounds jealous. This man will limit your children and I think it’s a sign to run.
I feel like your daughter has worked hard for something, why should it be taken away. If you can afford the travel, and you are happy with the time commitment then what is the issue? It’s clearly something she loves. Maybe the other kids need to get into something if they are feeling left out.
He sounds petty, how can he even suggest she stop doing what she loves just because the other 3 children aren’t participating in anything
Why would you even have to ask? You parented your children before he was there and you should continue to parent them the same. All this should have been discussed before even moving etc. These kids didn’t get a say in the choices you guys made so why should she pay the price all for a dumb reason? He shouldn’t get to control a sport/passion of hers that was there before him
No she should stay in
No! Your fiancé is ridiculous for even suggesting it.
Change the man, he’s already trying to put you in a place for controlling in the future. Don’t rip your daughter or other child away from their lives due to a man. The children come first. Taking cheer away like that can lead to depression, anxiety, lose trust between parent and child, etc. The man is the problem. Not the kiddos
Keep calm and cheer on!!! And what Melissa Anne Carr said !
Let her cheer! It’s good for kids to have an outlet. I had to give up gymnastics and always wish that I didn’t have to
It is one thing to water yourself down for him…but do not make your daughter water hersrlf down for anybody. Its none of his business.
Throw out the whole man and start over
- This shouldn’t even be up for discussion. 2. When it comes down to it, that is YOUR kid.
Don’t take cheer from her, he can either get on board or get out the door
Do not remove her…sounds like he’s jealous of your daughter…why would he want her to stop
Absolutely not! Everyone should be supporting her and her cheer. My boys are gamers and take it seriously. One plays on chess team. We support their passions and talents. Every kid is different.
Get rid of him, just throw him away and start over
Get rid of the man. Definitely do not take her out of cheer. She’s worked hard and it’s something she loves. He sounds very petty and whiney
I don’t think your daughter should be at a disadvantage because the others choose to not have a sport. I personally think its an unfair expectation. Like a previous comment said, get on board or get out the door. Your child deserves to compete after she’s worked so hard and its such a great thing for kids to have a passion and drive.
Why would you even have to ask this question, tell your fiance that she’s not stopping her cheer and he needs to get with the program(jk) but he needs to back off a little bit yall already rip the poor girl from her friends and familiar places, so don’t take that away from her
Sorry this dudes a ass and that’s me being nice
Honestly, I wonder if these posts are even real anymore
I mean at the end of the day she’s your daughter and you are the one who gets the say on if she can do it or not… And I think that’s so good for her… and if she loves it don’t take her away from that…
Hell no let her do wat makes her happy
absolutely not, the other kids need to find something to do
Throw the whole man away and his kids and start over! If they can’t support your daughter then that creates a huge problem. You came together as a family but it doesn’t sound like he wants to be a family. Family supports each other.
Instead of him pushing her to
Stop because of the other kids he should put his focus on the other kids and what they wanna do . & push them to see if they wanna do more then they have Smh . No just wrong. Let her continue cheering & he needs a reality check.
Heck no , as long as she is the main driving force ( most days ) if you have to make her get ready or be on time then rethink it but it sounds like she is working hard toward her craft so lift her up and give her all the time and support needed .
I wouldn’t make her stop. Tell him to give up something he really loves and see how he feels. Just because the other three aren’t into sports doesn’t mean she should get punished for it
No cause that all she has left u done took her way from her friends and her home town don’t take that way from her cause if u do that she might just shut down, and you don’t want that
I have to say I’m right there with you when it came to my kids wanting to do something. If they put in the effort then I was there cheering them on. It would break your daughters heart and you already moved them. Never let them give up something they enjoy.
Put your foot down & stand up to him… your daughter has something that makes her happy & is really good at… its not her fault his kids aren’t actively in an activity so why she she suffer? He can deal with it… im sure the entire arrangement & relationship wasn’t her idea or plan in life, she deserves this chance…
Absolutely not! This is hers and if she’s putting in the effort than she should be able to do it
Absolutely NOT!!
Your child has worked hard for this, and she absolutely deserves to stay with it!
No! Allow her to continue and cheer in Jr.High and high school if she wants too. She can help fundraise if money is an issue.
If you make her quit something she loves then it’s just as bad forcing her to continue something she hates . She will always resent him and you and you will always resent him for forcing your hand…
Shame on him for not supporting your daughter he’s selfish, move on to someone else, big red flag🥶
If your daughter enjoys it, she should continue.
Sounds like a prick
Kick him to kerb!!
Honestly, not trying to sound rude, but this shouldn’t even be a question. If she loves it, don’t punish her by making her stop, and if he don’t understand, well to hell with him. Encourage the other kids to engage in a sport. If they don’t want to, then that’s their choice. But I would never even consider making her stop doing something she loves and has worked so hard for
Your child = your decision! If your man chooses not to support that then loose him bc he will choose to not support you and your babies on other things that really count down the road.
Heck no. You can’t take everything away from her because of the choice you made. She should definitely be able to still cheer and maybe you should sit down with the other kids and see if there’s anything they’re interested in doing or learning in their free time
Never make her stop!!! As long as she loves it. You support her through thick and thin. She’s first no matter what.
Absolutely not!!! Let her continue to do what she loves and is good at. Show him your post and all these comments and maybe he’ll see it’s a great thing and not an issue. You can bet if it were one of his own children and the shoe was on the other foot, he’d be allowing it to continue as well!
Whaaatt… Tell him they can get into stuff than. No one says they can’t they chose not to. Big difference.
You shouldn’t even be asking. Your child’s happiness and wellbeing comes before a man. Honestly I wouldn’t be with someone who is so narrow-minded
Nope. I’d leave him before making my child quit something they love🤷🏻♀️
No you should not speaking from personal experience from when I was younger to a situation pretty close choose your daughter is this situation!
He’s ridiculous if that’s the case. If my children felt left out I’d make them join sports not make her quit. Tell him to either put his kids in sports or he can just get over it 
No way and why not have the other kids come and support if they want to travel as well? Or see what, if anything, they may be interested in. What have the kids said? Do they care or is it just dad pointing out “fairness”
Keep her in what she loves. It will keep her out of trouble as she gets older. Mine went all the way to college cheering and dancing and softball. She is in law enforcement now. Great girl
Nope. She should be able to do what she loves.
No, , have the others do something they like.
Let her go and live her dream! Be supportive!
Absolutely not. Tell him if the other kids want to do sports too they can. Not his daughter not his call. Some things partners that aren’t the father just can’t touch. This is one of them.
He sounds like an idiot! Taking something away from a child that they love doing and do really good at then his mind is not child focused. He most likely doesn’t like that you are not there to hold the fort when your travelling or cheer. Too bad!
No you let that girl have cheer!!!
Hell no don’t take her away from cheer. She will hold that against you and on top of that she don’t deserve to be taken away from what she loves.
Don’t stop your daughter’s participation.
Tell him to get over it its none of his business!!!
Do not sacrifice your daughters talents and passion because his kids have not been given the same opportunities.
Absolutely not! I am not trying to be ugly but I don’t know if I would marry someone that doesnt fully understand how hard yall worked? Might of not known each other a long time? Not sure the situation on that. Even though he should be mature enough to get over it and try to understand
Nope not wrong. He’s using it as an excuse. At least that’s what it sounds like to me.
Get all the kids motivated into something. Atlesst try stuff out. They’re kids of course they don’t want to at first only rarely do some kids go for something that seems fun for them and that more of a personality thing not a typical kid thing.
They all should be in something don’t make daughter quit something she loves
No that’s how you keep kids focused and out of trouble !! They learn responsibility , skills and dedication through sports. Also hopefully she could potentially get a scholarship as well.
No do not take away from your daughter’s activities she love. Don’t let him interrupt her entertainment and take that from her. She will be pissed and miserable and possible hate him for what he did to her to take away the cheer. She willing go with you to move in with the man you love and cooperate with you and him. Let her have this cheer to keep her busy. Find something for other kids what they like no one isn’t left out. I have a friend she has a daughter is in cheerleading and her son in football. Her boyfriend’s kids wasn’t allowed in sport due of their biological mother forbidden them. But she asked his kids what do they want to do so she got them in sports everyone is happy.
He needs to be supportive of her. see if there is something the others may like to join.
That’s YOUR CHILD. He doesn’t get to come into your family & take away things she enjoys. This is how it begins. Makes your & your daughters lives revolve around him. Hobbies, decorating your home, how you spend your time & money etc. You’ll be very unhappy. He will be happy because he has total control over you. Keel the cheer. Throw him out.
No, keep going. He needs to support you and her. If he has a problem then move right back out 
Absolutely not!! She loves it and shouldn’t have to quit because of him.
No ! She will end up hating him . Stick with her usual Cheering!
Absolutely Do Not make her quit that would not be at any way fair to your daughter and as a mom you already knew that for sure so there was your answer momma always do that for her and the rest of them as well sounds like you know exactly how to support all of them and their choices to be involved or not and to me and it’s just me saying Your fiancé does not he’s pushing for something that just isn’t fair to her setting her up to be hurt and something she loves that you 2 created together taken away for absolutely no Good Reason at all ! Sounds like Jealousy in sone ways and please if he’s this headstrong on the idea and it’s causing this much friction for God Sakes reconsider this Marriage and if he’s willing to let it go and support her like he should if he’s going to step into that role in her life as well and support her , be there and genuinely love like a parent (DAD) should then my all means go ahead and that would be amazing since you have already committed so much by moving changing schools etc it’s just not fair let her keep what she loves !!
Don’t make her stop I also did all star cheerleading went to worlds best times of my life!
Just doesn’t sound like he’s the one for you if he jumps right in with wanting to take something away from that precious baby !! He needs to get over himself and step it up or move on where he can dictate someone’s if they are stupid enough to let him !! Good job Momma !!!
Absolutely not, it’s an ongoing fight in my marriage too. My daughters love competitive cheer and bust their ass 4 days a week in the gym to be where they are.
They’re only young once.
Why punish your child because he doesn’t like it? If she likes it and has continued to do it before and after he came into your life, that’s a little unfair on the kid
Do what I do and take the other kids when you travel and do one day competition and one day of fun in the travel location and let him watch the rest of the kids while you watch competition since he wants to cry about it win win for everyone
He sounds jealous of your daughter.
I would have a family meeting, everyone in the same room and ask the other kids if there is a sport they are interested in joining. That way it’s fair. Otherwise no, I would not pull my daughter from cheer because her brothers didn’t want to do a sport. My daughter is also a flyer and loves it!
Mmm girl… 
do not marry that man.
Hell no! If he doesn’t understand then he’s not the step parent material you and your kids need! Point blank… I know that’s a hard pill to swallow but there’s no way in hell I’d let a man or step parent or whatever change me and my kids… so not cool. If he doesn’t understand then you really need to think about your next steps as a parent and move along…
This is something that she did before him. This is a lifestyle decision that YOU made and he doesn’t get to unilaterally change that because he didn’t do the same for his kids.
No. Don’t let your daughter lose out on what she wants to do because you tried to have a relationship with a jerk. Leave him.
Absolutely not. If she wants to continue it then let her. Don’t take that away from her especially since she has worked so hard to get to where she is at.
Do you have time and money for all 4 to do competitive traveling sports
No dont make her stop. It’s good for kids to be involved in something or some kind of sports.
omg if you have to ask people about this. use the God given sense God gave you don’t pull your child from something she loves ask yourself WTF am I thinking
OMG, i cant even believe that you would ask this stupid of a question. What kind of women are you…just because your bf doesn’t like that your child is in to sports and has to travel for it he wants her to quit just because his kids aint in to sports, like wtf lady.
ABSOLUTELY DO NOT MAKE HER STOP, and if you do your making the biggest mistake in your life for your daughter over a man,
Absolutely not MaMa! Hold your ground and keep sticking up for your daughter she has busted her butt. Worked hard and tirelessly to get where she is in All Star Cheer. Dont punish one kid over the soon to be step dad or whatever hes going to be. He needs to step up and support her and all the kids. If the remaining three cant/dont want to do anything then dont push but hubby needs to know all the kids can so whatever they want and the kids ( Obviously not your 11) choose to do nothing. But dont destroy this poor little girl or ruin your beautiful mother /daughter issue over a guy. I hate to say it cause its so cache but guys a dime a minute. Your daughter (kids) and your unconditional love for her will help get you through. I sometimes after the MaMa asking if after she gets replies and does whatever she decides some say it was easy to talk him/ her others find it difficult all I can offer is let him read your post it was so open and honest maybe it will help if he sees it in person. As far as some of these comments I probably wouldn’t have him relax them. Good luck!!! Keep Cheering!!
Get rid of the Fiancé. I am an Allstar cheer mom myself and my husband (her stepdad) would never say no to her doing any sport. He absolutely knows Cheer is non negotiable. Well any sport she does is non negotiable. I will drop him before I tear her away from her passion. He supports her 100%! He has turned into quite the Cheer dad.
Hell no, don’t make her stop! Being in cheer could make all the difference in her feeling good about herself and making sound life choices. Spend some time helping the other children find their special talent and help dad see wh each child needs something to be good at, it does not have to be a sport!
I’d hate him as a step dad if he made me quit something I love
Definitely don’t take that away from her .
He has a valid point.
However…he should have given serious thought to the impact this would have. Prior to your big change.
Obviously this has financial impact on the household. If it effects the other kids options. I could understand his reason to bring it up.
This is a priority that he needs to prioritize.
It is already an established activity. And he needs to respect this choice. It is a big part of your daughters lifestyle. And I would encourage you to stand firm on this point.
This is not a choice of what do you want on your sandwich. It’s a big deal.
Best wishes to you for your new adventure.
I hope he comes around