My fiance and I have had an ongoing disagreement about my daughter and cheering

That isn’t reason enough to stop or for him to ask you to keep her from it. It’d actually selfish of him to ask. I understand if it became a financial burden and he had to pick up more on your behalf, or something like that, but simply because his kids aren’t doing it? He can get them into it as well if they want, & if they don’t then they don’t :woman_shrugging: Not like you’re asking him to sacrifice his time yo take her to these games and everything else, then ya, you shouldn’t expect that from him ehen he doesn’t do it for his own.

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Absolutely not. He honestly sounds jealous of your daughter. If you rip it away because your bf doesn’t think it’s fair, she will hate him forever. Is that what he really wants? This is a conversation you need to have with him. Ask him point blank if any of his kids want to join a team. If they do, is he going to support it? Is he going to make that effort to get them to games and practices? Or is he going to pin that on you? Or better yet, ask them yourself. If they don’t, that’s on them. She should be applauded for taking on the responsibility and staying committed. Do you know how rare that is?! And even more so that she gets better and better and makes the corrections to get better? As a former cheer coach, myself, you don’t see that often anymore in a team member. Most kids are just there for exercise or because their friends are doing it, and their heart isn’t in it. If she loves what she’s doing and excels there, you don’t take it away from her. Not unless school grades slip, or her behavior starts being an issue at home, but sure as hell not because your boyfriend is jealous of your daughter having something she loves and thrives in, and his kids don’t have any kind of interest in anything. These kinds of teams are NOTHING without the support of the parents. You sound fully on board, but your boyfriend is not. Which is fine. But I have a feeling even if this were his kids, he still wouldn’t be on board either. Dig into a deeper conversation with him. Life isn’t fair, and if he wants his kids in sports, it starts with him encouraging them to find one they’d like to try. I wonder if he real problem is he knows that her cheer schedule means that you’ll be gone with her? Talk to him. His kids not doing sports is technically on him and their mother if she’s in the picture, as their parent. Not you. I think it’s extremely selfish of him to ask you to pull her because his kids don’t do sports.

I was the youngest of 3 growing up. Brother played football, sister was in JROTC. I didn’t get to do anything because my parents invested everything in their extra curricular activities. Don’t take this away from your daughter. See if the others have an interest they want to pursue but don’t take cheer away from her.

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She has worked to hard to get to where she is. Don’t stop now. It’s not your fault his kids don’t do anything. He should have gotten them into sports or something.

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Awesome encouragement ladies glad to see you have her back and her daughter’s we all hope she’ll do the right thing

Absolutely not. If this is something she loves and wants to continue, and you can afford it, then let her. In cheer, there’s a special bond between the kids. Your fiancé should understand and be supportive as well. Ask the others what they’re interested in.

Kids will never do the same things. My son did every sport u see the sun all through school. Middle daughter tried many things. Ended up on a dance club line dancing. Third child did whatever her brother did. Some ids don’t do anything. “fair” is doing what the child like to do-just line you said. Fair is NOT all doing the same thing😊

Wow, no. That’s asking for a rebellious teenager

Seems there should have been some discusses before moving in together. You worry about yours he worries about his for now. Or offer his kids to do an activity. See if they are interested

You’re not wrong let her cheer the other 3 should find things that interest them

Tell him to suck it up. He’s willing to take her passion away bc he’s too lazy to take his kids to events or let then try events. Or he just resents that your daughter has ambition and his kids don’t. Or he is jealous that his kids don’t want to do something sporty. :person_shrugging: who knows. But he doesn’t get to come into yalls life and take something important away from your little girl. He’s just petty and bitter.

Leave her if he doesn’t like it leave him! She worked hard like u said at least she’s out doing sports! 90% of these kids don’t leave the damn house anymore!

Please don’t make her stop. She is dedicated and loves it. Please make sure your fiance understands that it is part of her mental/emotional wellbeing, and that you should never deter a child from the pursuit of what they enjoy and love.

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Excuse me make her stop so the man child your with stops throwing tantrums. F.y.c.k no. My only question is why are you still with the person trying to shatter your child’s dreams?

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You absolutely should not make her stop. It’s not her fault the other kids don’t enjoy sports. Explain to him just like you did here. If the other kids wanted too they would. It’s pretty simple. If you make her stop she will resent you. Not all kids enjoy the same things and that’s ok

She loves it keep her in it he just going to have to deal

You should not take her out is he crazy she worked very hard to get where she is

Do NOT make her stop. As you said you aren’t preventing the other kids from participating in stuff. Him and his ex should have gotten his kids into something when they were little. As the kids grow their interests change. My kids have done stuff together and as they’ve grown and interests change, we let them continue and grow as they want, within reason.
Let your kids be kids and do what they have worked hard for.

Nope nope nope. Do not take cheer away from her.

Why are you even asking?

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No way. Never make her stop. If there’s no financial burden and it’s not affecting the other child from being able to play a sport there’s no reason too.

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I was never able to do sports. I wanted to do cheering and track and soccer just never had the money or the vehicle, by the time my two little sisters were older, we had a vehicle and more income by then. 9 year gap between me and one and a 13 year gap between me and the other. They were lucky to have those opportunities. Dont take this away from her, don’t fail your daughter

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Absolutely not, don’t change who you or the children are for anyone, if he loves you he will except it

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No. Red flags everywhere by the way. Your decision to uproot and move for love should not mean your children have to abandon everything. Especially since you moved towns not states away. But he will have to figure it out because he knew about all this prior to your move. Or maybe you need to move back out.

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keep her in cheering

NO do not make that baby stop cheering!!!

My kids have done it for years! It shouldn’t be an issue. Why take away from the kids? Builds character keeps them busy. He just doesn’t get it.

Hell no!!! Make her stop cheer because the other kids aren’t doing it? No, they can either get over it or join a team their damn selves. And if your husband sees a problem with it there may just be a problem with him.

If she genuinely loves it don’t make her stop. She’ll only feel resentment towards the new family. I wasn’t made to give up sports (I wasn’t really allowed to do then) but when my biological father got engaged to his second wife, he sold our Disney trip tickets bc his fiancé was upset her kids didn’t get to go. My grandma paid for that trip for us. And that was just the first concession he made for her and her kids. That just started the fighting and the strong dislike my siblings and I had for her and her kids and our father.

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Nope! Do not pull her out because he can’t get a grip. It’s not her fault they don’t want to do anything but sit in front of the TV and eat bon bons. Think about the mental state she would be in if you pulled her from what she knows and loves. You already said you pulled her from her hometown/school. Let her be.

Also, he may not say it, but he just might not want to contribute to the cost. I have 3 kids who are all in competitive sports and I know it’s not cheap. So he’s using the other kids as a crutch.

Remind him she is your kid not his and you will do as you see fit

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No! You keep her in cheer, keep supporting her and doing what you do. Life doesn’t have to stop because he is in your life. He knew you did this before him, it’s going to continue with or without his support.

I know that
(all start cheer)
cost a lot of money, Plus traveling! So I’m going to say no she shouldn’t be cheering if it’s putting a burden on y’all finances,
Only you and him will know that! So I really can’t answer!
If money is no problem
everyone’s got what they needed ,and no will have to go out without, I don’t see where the problem would be, this just seems like a one-sided story!

Do not take it away from her. You’re her mom, you call the shots. He doesn’t have to agree… if he wants his kids to get a chance to he involved in something then tell him to do so. She shouldn’t have to stop something she loves because of some lame excuse like that.

Its a weird ass exxuse for your fiance… Like…the other kids don’t do sports? And you want fairness so the girl must suffer because your kids don’t have a passionate hobby in sports?

Don’t take it away from her.

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Do not let him take that from her. She has worked so hard. Their choice is their choice but just bc they chose not to doesn’t mean she should have to stop

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No way. you must not make her stop .she loves not her fault the others don’t do .carry on your good mum xx

Why should your child have to stop? She didnt work this hard for nothing!

No!!! She will resent you and your fiancé
Plus cheerleading is LIFE!!!so…
:joy::heart:!!!

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Sounds like jealousy. His kids are capable and don’t. We don’t punish kids for hard work , because of adult decisions. It wasn’t her decision to have this man in her life, move , etc. . This will not be the last issue for this family .

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Get the other kids in something. Find out their interests and get them involved in an extra curricular activity. He said it wasn’t fair for the others, so make it fair. Don’t pull your daughter from cheer but try to get the other kids in something too. Cheer is expensive as well so I’d be taking some time figuring out finances to accommodate everyone.

You let your baby keep cheering, as long as she truly loves it and you can afford to keep her in then do it. Any kind of physical activity is so good for not only her physical health but her mental health as well. Being that she is 11 years old she is going to hit puberty soon so cheering will be really good for her confidence. Its not your fault that his kids haven’t done any kind of sports.

Please don’t make her stop.

I’m not being but this is what u choose to do not them they had to make a change why should they loose everything because of ur choice

Absolutely not! If youve changed everything so y’all can live together why should she have to give up her happiness? If the other kids are jealous ask them if they want to join a team. If not maybe let them come with you when traveling and try to make the time while there to do something they would like to do. But in no way should he be trying to take that away from her.

Absolutely not. Like you said, his kids chose not to get involved. He should be teaching his kids to be supportive not telling you she needs to quit. Maybe she will inspire them to get involved. A child that’s involved is a child that has time to be out getting in trouble.

Girl.no . Don’t even question it . You’d husband will get over it. Your daughter prolly won’t

Dont take that away from her.

No she shouldn’t have to quit but maybe this should have been discussed before you moved in with him??

He’s being selfish and immature.

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Your kid your choice.

Nope. You did this with your daughter before him/his kids.

Absolutely not!! Let her shine!!

He doesn’t have to like it, just accept it. It’s our job as parents to let our children grow in their own, individual, unique path. This is your daughter’s life and her choice.

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How is this even a question :flushed: I would never take my child out of something they enjoy & that helps them flourish

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Hmmm…you most certainly don’t make her stop. Those kids just need someone like you to help develop and explore their Interests. It may not be sports, there’s tons of things (clubs, volunteer,etc). Please don’t make her stop, the effects of it could be a lot of animosity and heartache.

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She definitely should continue

He sucks. He doesn’t have to like it. When you moved in with him he knew she was a competitive cheerleader. Tell him support her and get over his feelings.

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If u make her stop later on u will regret it u said one thing that kept her grounded , so I would be figuring out how to juggle him while u let her be a child gl momma bear

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Absolutely not! Your other 3 kids can choose to became involved in activities they enjoy. Wether is be sports or bird watching.

He didn’t have a problem with it before yall lived together so there shouldn’t be a problem with it now. Kids shouldn’t be punished because of petty things like that. To her, that’s exactly what it would be, a punishment. When she’s done nothing wrong. Your kids are already adjusting their life’s right now from moving. Don’t take away something she’s loved to do and worked hard for because of his childishness. Tell him if the other kids show interest in sports, art, etc then yall can sign them up for whatever as well.

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No never stop any activity that is heathy and fun. You child has learned what dedication and hard work gets her in her sport. These are very important lessons in life. Do not take it from her. If you do - you may open a can of worms , young one. I’ve personally played sports (all my life- rec. ball - 8years pro- and senior), coached (lil’ ones, jh, and varsity level) - any activity that promotes healthy growth -physically and mentally - is good. Scouts, 4H, FFA, Cheer, Theater, sports, any activity that they can learn from will help them in their decision later in life.

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If he is already jealous of your child getting attention your in for a long road

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Nope, you need to tell him its not your children’s fault he failed to get his children into extracurricular activities!!! I would also say if he doesnt want to attend, thats fine but my children wont suffer because you didnt get your children involved in something!

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Absolutely not, that would be putting his wants before her needs. He knew about this before y’all moved in I’m sure, I would never take my child’s passions away. She sounds incredibly dedicated and that’s so rare in life. This also opens up TONS of educational opportunities

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No! Don’t make her stop.
You raise yours he raises his.

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Do NOT make her quit something she loves.

She should absolutely be able to continue cheering! It’s not hurting anyone and as you said she loves it. She should not have to give up parts of her life she’s worked hard for and loves just because her moms dating someone now. Don’t mean for that to come off rude at all. But if y’all make he quit cheer I guarantee she’s going to hate him.

Let that girl cheer,

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Why would you even ask that? If my future husband doesn’t support any of the kids with anything they wanna do activities wise , goodbye lol!

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She already had to leave her home and hometown don’t make her give up cheer too. He knew she was in cheer correct? It is not your fault his kids are not interested in sports. She is and that’s what counts. Let her cheer while she still wants to

Mom of competitive athletes here​:wave:t3::wave:t3::wave:t3::wave:t3:

Don’t dare rip away what she has worked her tail off for, the special bond with you cheer that you two have, or anything of the sort. Do not punish her, for their lack of interest or laziness. Period.

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Not unless she wants to. She hasn’t worked this hard just to give up now. If his kids wants to do something on the same level then of course y’all do what it takes but for him to tell you to change her routine up, will only make her resent him and it might be detrimental to her mental health to give up the one thing that stayed the same when y’all moved.

Don’t take cheer away from her, it’s not fair. Get the others involved in something… it doesn’t have to be a travel sport, just something they enjoy doing.

Do NOT make her stop. It’s what’s she loves. If you make her stop it’s likely to have a lasting traumatic effect as she gets older. And probably some resentment.

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Tell him that absolutely not! And a better solution would be to encourage the other kids to participate in a sport as well. I always tell my kids that they have to pick something. Ballet, swimming, soccer…. Whatever they want but they have to do something because they already spend so many hours seating down at school so it’s important to do something active as well…

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Are you doing this for you or her? If she is the one to express she needs this, then do not take away. Each child should have an extracurricular activity, it’s good for their health and great way to set life goals .

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All that will do is have her grow up to resent and hate him because of it. Just because the other kids don’t do sports is not fair that she can’t! My step daughter does softball and cheer. None of the other 3 do anything. And it’s perfectly fine!

My daughter is a competition dancer, and has been dancing since she was 2. She is also a horse girl. We travel. If competition is out of state, she and I are out of state. He has always supported this. He has 2 kids as well, and they aren’t interested in those things. Do NOT take away her passion.

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Your kids are always top priority. If he doesn’t like it too bad. I guess try getting everybody to sit down at the same time and tell the other kids in front of him that they are allowed to do any sports that they want.

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Your job as a parent is to help your child find their self and help them with that choice

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People change their lives according to their new SO, but the kids deserve to keep the things the same , this was not her choice so let her continue …. Kids unfortunately don’t get a say in their lives .

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Don’t let her stop it. 100% your right.

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Definitely not! My 11 year old daughter also does competition cheer! My 13 year old son does (local) travel baseball. My oldest tried out all the sports, but none were for him. :woman_shrugging:t2:

Sounds like he needs to just let it go lol. Maybe even encourage the other 3 to try something new. Kids in sports is a great thing!

Do not take that away from her. If he has a problem with it then he is not for you. Your child comes first. Not your fault his kids were never encouraged or showed interest in an activity. He is jealous

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You’re absolutely not wrong!

Sit your fiance down and reiterate/remind that the other kids could do travel sports if they wanted to…and still can if they decide they want to…that door is still open to them.
That you can’t punish one child because the others weren’t or aren’t interested in competitive sports.
Suggest that y’all have a family meeting to see if there’s anything any of the others are interested in doing or trying. Maybe it won’t be competitive sports, but let them know the door to explore interests is still open.

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Simple answer, no. I would not make my daughter stop just bc his kids do not want to do something of the same nature.
She has worked hard for this, do not take it away from her

Tell him his kids HAVE to get involved in some sort of travel competition :smirk: see if he thinks that’s absurd.

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My goodness. No do not take her out. This guy sounds terrible

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Make him give us something he loves and worked hard for. He won’t like it either. He sounds like a horrible selfish parent.

You should absolutely make her quit. Early life lesson that mama lets men control her decisions :woman_shrugging:t3:

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NOPE!!! and if he can’t see that then tell him to kick rocks! stand up for your child and make it known this is what’s right for your daughter if he can’t get with that then you need to move on.

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You are wrong for doubting yourself. This is not something your daughter should have to be punished for punitively.

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Ohhhhhhh noooooooo no way would I personally pull my child out of a sport she loves for that no way.

Continue to do cheer, it’s not his job to take away things the kids love. I’d more so work on finding things the other 3 enjoy.

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He sounds very selfish…

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He does not support you or your child. Do not take her out of something she loves because your fiance is a jerk. Honestly, get rid of the fiance all together🤷🏻‍♀️

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Do NOT take cheer away from her!!!

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