If you’ve tried to talk and he says you’re “nagging”, that just shows he has zero interest in the relationship
2 Likes
You’ve got yourself a Peter Pan. A man who will never grow up.
2 Likes
Stand your ground, whether you have money coming in or not, you have money and are paying your park of bills (which is great)
Just tell him you’re both equal and both deserve the same love affection and attention you both give , so if he wants to give none he will get none if he wants to show you that he loves and cares and enjoys spending time with you then you do the same, it will make or break your relationship but if it breaks it then it wasn’t the right one to be in anyways .
He needs to grow uo he has a family and there is more to having a family than just working. You work all day too as well. And you do not get down time. Plus being 9 months pregnant you are preparing to bring a blessing into this world. He is taking advantage of your love for him. Its not right. I have been there with a child and its not a healthy place. I’m sure your 3 year old feels it too. Tell him to shape up or ship out. Best of luck hunny and. Congratulations on your new baby
1 Like
Sounds like he is one of your kids. Ground him!
Wow I’m amazed at the amount of women on here that are saying leave him, blah blah. For one thing there are two sides to every story. She’s pregnant with lots of hormones so she might be all over the place. Plus why encourage a women to be a single mother with a 3 yr old and new born??? It sounds like there is a lack of adult communication. You don’t throw away things bc they are broken at the moment. You fix it. You choose love everyday no matter what.
7 Likes
Sounds like your gonna have to wait around till he grows up. Just do you, do something with your friends, a mommy group, etc.
Why you in a relationship so long where there is no love from the others half. He treating you that way to show you he do not want you any more. Where are your pride?
2 Likes
If you are feeling this way and your not married my recommendation is move on
Tell him in a message how bad it’s gotten that you’re considering leaving and you’re scared he’s going to be this way once you’ve had the baby. If he doesn’t wise up to that then he’s not the man for you!
Get out of relationship now I’m telling you he will never grow up it’s all about him. And you will be mom to your kids, and a mom to him constantly picking up after him, cooking for him and being his maid and mom. If you can get out please do!! It will never change because he has took away your pride in yourself. Don’t put yourself down to the grown to meet his needs.
1 Like
You might want to hold off on the wedding.
1 Like
Not everyday is a romance and candle lit dinner. People love in different ways and at different levels. Actions speak louder than words. So he may complain about the things and be upset in his way but does the task anyway.
1 Like
Leave before it’s too late
Maybe it’s a phase and it’ll pass, he might be going through something. Don’t give up on the relationship that easy like others are suggesting, a relationship especially one that is going towards the marriage route needs to be fought for
tell him to KISS the curb and then have a wonderful Life.
Treat him the same way cook for you & your child eat clean your dishes leave go hang out with friends come home when it’s bedtime & pray stay strong amen
He doesn’t care. He thinks since he’s the only one working that he shouldn’t have to do anything else, that much is clear. Good luck on changing him. (Seriously)
I am sorry to say I don’t see a very happy future for you or the kids w/this selfish self centered guy.
2 Likes
Pregnancy throws emotions all over the place and now is definitely not the right time to make any serious decisions. Reevaluate this in a few months.
2 Likes
Immediately phone the “Deadbeat Dad’s Group” for advice on how to deal with your Deadbeat Fiancé?
1 Like
Kick him to the curb!
Sounds like love bombing.
1 Like
Time to rethink marriage
4 Likes
Time to move on, or out
Girl life to short to stay in a relationship that’s not healthy for you your happiness comes before anything you did and still doing everything you can possibly think of to make it work and he still complaining run:running_woman:
1 Like
Selfish is what I call it he is a father & father to be plus your fiancé therefore he should be there for his family and help with the kids & teamwork makes the dream work obviously he is a very self centred arsehole !!!
6 Likes
Hopefully everything will change after the baby comes. God bless
The reason why he don’t care is because he is relax. He know you are there always and help everything what he needs.
Better to keep distance walk away let him learn his lesson. Tell him you need to go away to give him full time to enjoy so you will not disturb him. And tell him if his ready he is welcome to come back again only if you don’t someone to help you. And when he come back accept him with an open arm.
But before you accept make sure he turned back all his gaming.
All man are could not realize as long as their diamond is at their hand. But when they feel they are losing it that’s the time they are craving to have it.
Think what the gaming do to them if they feel they are losing their games they are craving on it.
3 Likes
Ok…back the truck up…im going to be the unpopular one here…you my dear have allowed him to be this way…you never set expectations while you were dating like …I expect xyz…its also safe to say since your pregnant and still not married that you still haven’t set any expectations for him…and now you have a child playing video games acting out pouting when you try to set expectations…why…because you never have before…and dang…why are you being so mean…and making him adult and all…gezz…its not going to happen…his launch period is up …now what you have is an over sized man child that you either get to care for …FOREVER…OR you can gracefully turn him back over to his mother for a reset and hope it works…
How do you pay your bills without working? I wonder if its hormones? Talk to your doctor.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum! My fiance feels like a roommate to me: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
Sounds like he’s already done. I know you have kids w him, but two separate, happy homes is better than one unhappy one
13 Likes
It’s up to you. You either put up with it or change it. Whatever you have to do to make you happy is the only way to change things.
3 Likes
What do Love about him? Is he kind, loving, supports you physically, financially, emotionally? He’s not vested in you or your relationship.
Zero effort=zero respect and zero love.
4 Likes
This sounds like my (soon to be ex) husband. I always explained our relationship to people as it felt like he was just my roommate. Never seemed interested in the kids, myself or doing anything together as a family. I left that marriage fast. Because I could not live that way any longer. Wasn’t fair to myself or our children.
5 Likes
Momna used to say DOGS DONT CHANGE THERE SPOTS so youll have to live with his behaver or move on
1 Like
That’s a roommate he should be helping you pay your bills that ain’t a man he needs to help with the kdis
2 Likes
Ask him to put a time limit on things, you can play for an hour then we are going for a walk!
Or go to counselling so you both can express what’s going on in a safe spot so things don’t lose control.
2 Likes
This is what ended my engagement. I felt alone for so long and eventually I fell out of love with him. It wasn’t fair to keep begging for time with him so I grew apart.
4 Likes
i swear i could have wrote that myself hun your not alone xxx
4 Likes
Get out. I’m sorry. I know how this feels
2 Likes
leave his butt make him pay child support and see how he likes it tired and broke not your fault you can find another man any day
Sad you are pregnant again you need to dump him
1 Like
Wow! I would be overly upset with him. I wouldn’t put up with him. I would tell him either his attitude and lifestyle needs to change now that you have kids or I would leave. But honestly it takes 2 for a relationship to work. If he isn’t willing to put in the effort then you need to move on.
2 Likes
Everything you just said ended my 11 year with 2 kids relationship. ALL of it!! I was beyond done. Sometimes you have to take a leap even if it hurts. If the change hasnt been made on his side yet… It never will. Best of luck to you momma!!
2 Likes
There definitely shouldn’t be a wedding as long as you’re feeling this way. Maybe even a trial separation?
3 Likes
It happens especially in marriage I would use this time to figure a few things out be honest w each other counseling if needed
1 Like
I say you cheat on him. Fuck it.
I have a question, did his mom clean after him a lot ? And still does a lot when he goes to visit? Is he an only child? The video game thing is just a thing guys do to relax after working, at least he’s not out with the guys bar hopping. He may be in a rut and you my dear are trying to make the home perfect your little one,nesting. But if you can get him to pause or stop the game long enough to let him know how you feel, it should work wonders, but otherwise he’ll think we’ll she’s not telling me anything is too much so she must be doing all the cleaning etc to unwind( believe me that is his thought 
) plus I hate to say this to another woman by we are very hormonal being pregnant, but you should give him the chance and talk to him
Why haven’t you gotten married.? Toooo long to be a fiance. Sounds like no commitment guy. I’d say bye bye.
3 Likes
I wouldn’t stick around for a man-child. He is selfish and probably always will be. Nope!
3 Likes
OMG you don’t need a third kid. Buh bye
2 Likes
Not on his side. He has some issue he can’t be open with you about. Leave him.
3 Likes
Sorry, your fiance sounds like a man child. Or… spoiled brat. Stop picking up after him, first of all. This is NOT !!! So Not a good thing. You need to schedule a meeting and communicate. Do it during a nice dinner for two. Explain how life IS in your universe and ask if he wants to be in it. You are NOT his Maid nor nanny.
5 Likes
Time to go show him the door out.
Ummmm. I would say communicate about it but clearly you’re dealing w a child.
I’m sorry to say but it doesn’t sound like he’s going to change. I would go stay a week or so w someone & c if that gives him a taste of life w out you & if he’ll b more open to communicating & if not then I’d leave.
5 Likes
You feel like a roommate because you don’t have a partner you have a friend. He is one of those men who thinks money is all he needs to provide. You need to talk with him about this and he needs to wake up or you need to find someone who satisfies your needs emotionally.
4 Likes
All I will say you are getting the best of your partner that you will get at this point in your journey. It’s not easy but it takes 100% from both sides. Good luck
1 Like
Sounds like he’s just burnt out by work and life. Have you tried playing games with him or watching him play games? Hubby and I have been together for 9 years and our relationship is hugely based on friendship. Just watching each other play games, he will check on me while I do my puzzles, etc. There’s so many women bashing him, but he really might be in a horrible place and no one knows. Don’t dump him. You could definitely try what I suggested about watching/trying to play video games with him. Find another common ground together. If trying to do things he enjoys doing doesn’t get him to go out of his way for you, then leave at that point.
6 Likes
No video games until responsibilities are done !!!
4 Likes
If you can support yourself show him the door.
Have him use a vacation day just to see what you do. I did that and the appreciation skyrocketed
2 Likes
It sounds like you’re in a slightly emotionally abusive relationship, and that you should seek therapy. It doesn’t sound like he’s too bad so therapy might actually help.
3 Likes
Set down rule, give him a week to follow them, THAN if he does not , kick his lazy A— out
2 Likes
My situation is alot different but I left my husband because I felt like roomies. I was gone 4 weeks and when I come back because he wanted me too, he changed completely. Sd he didnt realize everything I did and he took me for granted. Our relationship is so much better now.
Get out now before your stuck
It seems she has tried to take to him about her feelings and its going through one ear and out the other. And getting no where. I would wait until you have the baby and if things are not better in the six weeks i would tell him you’ve had enough that your not happy and he has to get out. You don’t need a third child to pick up after.or play video games all the time. He help make the babys he can help out more. Or get out.
Wrong guy period idk why woman feel the need to make someone want you. If he loves you there shouldn’t be anything u ask or need that can’t be done period. Relationships goes both ways and as a man there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for my wife I cook,clean laundry, and that’s raising 5 boys and I work I full time job 60+ hours a week so you have a boy not a man period and being pregnant to top it off get the fuck out of here you should be relaxing getting catered to every need and want and he should be getting a second job so you can stay home for months after the baby’s born like it angers me that woman settle or feel stuck know your worth and y’all as woman should be hold to highest regard cause y’all bring life into this world without a woman there wouldn’t be no world we live in so find ur worth and find someone who can see it.
You’ve said a lot about your feelings but I get a sense you have no idea how he feels 
“It makes no sense to plant the seeds then fail to tend your garden”, to hell with your marriage plans you’ve brought 2 new souls into this world and now its up to you to show them what sincere and engaged parenting looks like, if he is incapable then do it yourself and marginalize their exposure to him
4 Likes
You’re rewriting the same dilemmas with different wording. I saw similar dilemmas twice in the last 24 hours here
4 Likes
A relationship you should not be in…
2 Likes
Sounds like my POS ex, put up with it for 10 years, 3 kids. He treated me like pure shit all because he had a job, and thought that made him reigning king. 
I did all the cooking, cleaning, childcare WHILE HAVING HEART FAILURE & NARCOLEPSY, with zero help from him other than he did the grocery shopping/errands, because I don’t drive and it was easier that way. Until it wasn’t because he threw literal giant man baby fits because “he did everything”. 
I made that motherfuckers breakfast, lunch and dinner, and ran him baths nightly when he got him from work. He didn’t lift a finger to take care of his own children, and constantly belittled me. 10 years and I literally came out of that relationship with PTSD.
On the flip side, I’ve been with my current partner only 6 months, and he’s done more to show me unconditional love and caring in that small amount of time, than I ever felt from my ex in a decade. The right person will have you feeling that love and caring, you shouldn’t have to beg for it. You should not even have to ask for most of the things you listed. You deserve so much better.
You have him and one other kid and that’s everyone? You’re 9 months pregnant of course you’re going to be upset about every little thing and I know this sounds shitty but maybe because you’re 9 months pregnant he isn’t acting like his usual self. Wait until the baby is born and see if things change. If they don’t, kick him to the curb.
Play the games with him.
1 Like
Its jus how alot of relationships end up being … Mines the same way show some interest in his games ask about it or even make fun of it joking around … We have a 4 and 5 year old and he works 730 tl about 6 every day hes tired just wants some head space i get it i do the same thing i do my crafts or watch a show im into and zone out too maybe try to pick 1 day that you guys to a family night or just couples night watch a movie hang out olay board games or somthing you dont gotta spend money or go anywhere enless you wanna
1 Like
You know what’s best to do. End the relationship. Kick him to the curb.
that’s deadass the worst. but if he wants to he will. my husband & i had a minute
like this at one point. he finally had the realization that i deserved more & finally came back around. our son too. we both somehow disconnected. but have been back for a whileeee now. nothings changed
since his moment of clarity. except his mindset, in the best way.
if he’s not even puttin any effort in to even try at all… baby there’s your answer.
2 Likes
I’ve been through this stage with my husband.
We’ve been together for 6 years.
I have one outside of our marriage. Then we have 2 together. When I was pregnant with my third baby this is what it was like. We got through that part. And he started helping a lot more after he finally realized that what I was doing wasn’t easy and just sitting on the couch all day.
I say don’t just leave because of something like that. I know it’s frustrating but maybe try talking to him in a way it doesn’t sound like you’re “nagging” as he says.
Tell him you seriously need to talk to him and explain to him how you’re feeling, how exhausting it is and how you love him and want to spend time with him after being at home with a kid all day and taking care of the house.
It gets lonely.
If you have anyone to spend any of your time with, I also, highly recommend finding someone to spend time with outside of your marriage to get you out of the house, also.
Lastly, just try date night or ask him if y’all can watch a movie together or something that doesn’t involve too much physically after work. And then on the weekends if he’s not working maybe every once in a while step out of the house and do something as a family as well.
In marriage you will go through different trials.
If he’s loyal… I say the other things aren’t a good enough reason to quit your entire marriage.
2 Likes
I wouldn’t put up with being treated that way, know you’re worth, dear
1 Like
He works you don’t so it sounds like you need to grow up and deal with it or leave
9 Likes
Omg I almost could have wrote this myself. Except we only have one child who is almost 4 and I pay no bills. He doesn’t many bills either cuz we live with my brother and his family. I have no idea, other than breaking up with him, on what to do 
I want things to be better together. Not apart
1 Like
You can’t make someone love you like you need them too. Sounds like you have tried talking to him and not much changes. Now you just decide what you can live with …or without. Hugs💕
2 Likes
Oof. So what you’re saying is you have a second child on the way. I swear that guys who don’t want to take care of themselves knock up women so they’ll have someone who is stuck there. He will condition you to stop asking for help by getting ‘upset.’ I’d advise getting out now. Single parenting is hard but it’s so much easier without a grown man child to pick up after as well.
9 Likes
Number one, if you have to ask advice about a relationship on fb, that’s your first red flag. If you have to question it, it’s time to move on. You’re already feeling like it’s a competition and relationships are not a competition it’s team work. He seems immature and not ready for a family life.
5 Likes
Have you ever thought of playing games with him?? When you get home from work would you want to do something you enjoy especially when you hate your job. I think you need to compromise here. If he is working all day so you can stay at home then you need to find time to do the things that he enjoys with him. He shouldn’t have to go to work all day and come home to do what you wanna do. I am sorry but that would suck. I get tired of hearing women complain that men don’t spend time with them but you take no interest in doing things he likes to do. Me and my husband both work and we play world of Warcraft together in our free time. We also make time for the kids by having a family board game night once a week and family dinners. Relationships are about compromises and not about what works best for you.
Id leave the gone for a few days at least tbh. If you don’t do anything your presence won’t be missed. I mean that hell finally see why you do or he won’t and you’ll be free to live your life. I know that’s hard to do and say with a baby almost here but you know you’re gonna need a strong support system pp and if helping you do things when you’re about to pop is an issue imagine when you’re recovering
It’s always been my opinion that if you’re going to do it on your own, you might as well be on your own. He obviously shows you daily where his priorities lay… I’d say it’s time to walk away.
11 Likes
People show you who they are. You just need to pay attention. You have a roommate because you moved in together before getting married and didn’t start off sharing everything like you we’re married. He has his money, you have yours, he has his bills, you have yours, etc
And in addition your schedules with off time aren’t spent as a couple/family doing joint things. The only thing it seems you’ve done together is create 1.2 children.
I would wait til after baby is born and you’ve given yourself a chance to get new baby on a schedule and you’re sleeping a little more,etc. Get birth control.
Then I would make a plan for work and your next move. Lastly then I would sit fiancé down and let him know you’re unhappy and you don’t need a partner if you do everything all on your own. Give him ultimatum and give him last chance to step up, or put him out.
3 Likes
Ask yourself is this something you can deal with? If you can’t just ask him to leave. People do not change their wats they are already set in.
1 Like
Tell him to get the hell out
Video games are
Ruining marriages left and right. A
Grown ass married man with children needs
To give up the games. It’s ridiculous
You need some big girl alone time… Book and evening leave the 3yr old with him… Go out with a friend or by yourself… Just having some time where your only responsibility is to you will help you put your mind In the right place… And just maybe he might have a chance to remember what it’s like when your not waiting at home for his company… Big hugs to you.
Would say you already know what to do
1 Like
If you don’t wanna leave him, I’d stop tidying up after him completely. Let him play his games, you go do something else with your kid, go out to see friends, family etc. Whenever he wants to hang out, you say oh no sorry I’m too pregnant for that. Fk that shit, play him at his own game. Or just tell him how it is, if nothing changes, I’d be gone x
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum! My fiance feels like a roommate to me: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
3 Likes
Counseling is the opportunity to bring change. You can not change him. You can set limits and expectations. It will be a two way street. You both need to change for a healthy relationship. 
26 Likes
Sounds like to me he is tired of you being his lover and house maid. so it’s time for you to get rid of him. To bad it has to end that way, but you need to start living for yourself an the one child you already have and another one coming soon.
55 Likes