Controlling behaviour like this is a huge red flag. If you are comfortable in a bikini then you wear one, it is not his decision to make. If he still thinks it is then my advice would be RUN!
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Don’t marry him you made compromise on wedding dress why now bikini no way
Just do best you can that make you happy he love you for and your beautiful hrart.you well look beautiful
In eye a men that love you.God bless you and your married .
Yeah…sounds like he might not be the right one for you. You still have some time to figure that out. Write down the pros and cons…weigh it out. You might be missing some huge red flags, sweetie.
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Sound’s like your going to have to stand your ground in this relationship. Good luck xx
Does he do shirtless at the beach? What’s the difference? Seems controlling and toxic.
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If you’ve had to change dress because he didn’t like it because of your body then you need to cancel this wedding and leave him.
If he isn’t making you feel amazing in your body after birthing his kids then you need a proper man. So many red flags of control and abuse. Think before you tie yourself to him
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A man who tells me what i can and cant do hasn’t been birn yet
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You are not his child. His body is his responsibility, yours is your own. Healthy boundaries before he leaves you feeling empty 
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Confidence is so important, there’s so many women who don’t have the confidence to show their bodies, be proud and do not let anyone knock your confidence 
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You want to marry a man who won’t let you wear a bikini on a beach - are you insane? Drop him - he’s controlling now and I can almost guarantee once that ring is on your finger he will get worse
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Look for other red signs… and be careful with “fat transfers” as a lot of people die from them bc of the bacteria. It’s hard to find doctors that will even do them.
Are there any other RED signs. It could possibly get worse after yall get married. Good luck with making the best decision for you and your kids 
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Unfortunately from personal experience my ex was like this, It started by controlling the little things to isolating me from family and friends.
If you don’t plan on leaving then the only alternative may be finding a one piece or a tankini.
I dated a man that started out just the same way and with in a few months the metal and verbal abuse started and then he went for the physical abuse and I walked out quick. Leave now before he drags you down
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I agree with the red flag. But however if you want you could buy a really revealing one piece just to fight back 
I haven’t met you but from the way you talk you are a beautiful person who deserves much better than that peace out follow your instincts and your heart and you should be ok.
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Not a good sign, shows control, I had an ex that refused to let me in his car if I wore red, said I was trying to draw attention to myself with the bright color… he became a total control freak and very jealous and accusatory… he is history!
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Nope you need to run far far away. This is a red flag. Is he so embarrassed to see the woman he’s supposed to love honor and cherish til death do you part after you have given birth to his children? I think not. That is body shaming and it is not okay.
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Run, fast and far. Yikes. Please seriously think about how you’re being talked to and treated now before you make a life long commitment to someone who doesn’t lift you up and support you in all ways!
I know right now you don’t see it. This man is not the man for you.
This is a sign of a jealous/controlling man who will never trust you. The bikini is only the beginning of many things to come. RUN!
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If you Love yourself inside out and he does not you should really think if this is the guy you want to spend your life with not your body which changes after pregnancy (normal for all women)… good luck 
I think the important thing is that you feel good about yourself, and if your partner and husband to be ,makes you feel contrary to that in more than 1 way , you have to ask yourself questions… wear what you whant, you had kids, you gave life it changes your body but be proud. And if he makes you feel otherwise… then ask yourself if its worth or if he is😉
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I think you should wear what YOU are comfortable in. Myself I will not wear a bikini, But I am obese I wear a 2 piece. Your dress should be what style you want. And sorry to say, it does not sound like he is very supportive of YOUR likes. Those strech marks are not something to be asshames of
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Girl RUN!!! I have been married twice…the first, was horrible. Lying, manipulative, degrading. I totally understand how he makes you feel. Like the world begins and ends with him if you could be better, nicer, prettier, skinnier, you’d make him happy… It’ll never happen. You’ll drive yourself crazy trying to do that. Find someone that loves you for you. Don’t marry him
Well my ex husband was raised that a woman should cover her body and that a woman should be all natural. No makeup, turtlenecks, very modest, and no bikinis. He was not mentally,verbally, or emotionally abusive about it we just sort of agreed to disagree. Pay attention to how he treats you always. Know when to go if that’s how it ends up! Best of luck
Why are toy making compromises on YOUR wedding dress? If you wanna wear a bikini wear it me my self I don’t like them but do you. If he is controlling what you on your dress and what you wear at the beach 
I’d say you might want to think about it before you get married divorce is expensive
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Not marry him. This sounds like a control issue.
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He doesn’t get to control your body. Stand your ground girl!
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Every girl dreams of the perfect wedding dress…There’s no COMPROMISING that. Now ask what else your going to let them take. Your giving up on YOU! DON’T. GIRL…YOU ROCK…YOU GAVE BIRTH…No man did that. Your body didn’t change for a man to tell you what to fo or how to dress or to compromise in any way. Your body changed for a precious life. Not for some one to be able to tell you what to do. Get away from anyone who would make you feel different.
Well you are already starting out wrong you should be able to wear want you want if you fill comfortable in it your to be husband is already jealous but he can look st other women in them right
Wear what you want and wear it proudly. You are a grown woman. And I’d stay single… sounds controlling to me… that is worrisome…
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Dont marry a man who dictates what you wear. It starts there and ends up much worse. Ppl can’t control their hunger when it comes to possession. Dont say we didnt warn you
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No way. His controlling will just get worse🥲
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It’s not his body, he doesn’t get to make that decision.
Also, your should have the wedding dress YOU want.
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If he Can’t accept the way you are then ask yourself is this the right one.
Comprise on your wedding dress, O NO…
He wants to be controlling about what you wear… This will only get worse with time… And the controlling manor will start with other things aswell…
Mine says the same but i still wear them. He can walk around with no shirt i can have my bathing suit on…
With his logic, his swim trunks are boxer shorts…
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I would hold off on the wedding…
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I’d tell him he has to compromise his suit and he has to wear a shirt with his shorts because his boobies will be showing
Side note, boy BYE!
If he is trying to make you do things now that you don’t won’t what will he be like once your married to him?
Run while u can! If u are comfortable with your body Nd. Bikini that is all that should matter
Its your wedding… wear the bikini and marry someone who is not ashamed of your body!
Question? How many times are you getting married or divorced or about to have another Kid? Just wondering?
Um that’s jealousy and control and f him. U already have a dad, u don’t need another.
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Boy bye is what you should be saying to him! Run away as fast as you can!
Don’t do it if he’s like this before your married it’ll only get worse 
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Love your baby body. Free your spirit. Show that bod. It’s what you’re comfortable with
Don’t marry him, it will only get worse!!
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He should be hyping you up!!
Don’t marry him noone tells you what you can and can’t wear
Sounds like someone is very insecure
Woman, wear the dang bikini. I bet you look absolutely stunning .
Sounds like, if he isn’t already a controlling jackass, he will turn into one after you’re married. You will become his property and he will tell you what, when, where, wear, and who
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I think once he sees how happy your are in your own skin he will be happy for you and very supportive.
Do what you think is healthy for you and your husband. I honestly think the same bikinis show way to much skin around strangers. There’s plenty of bathing suits on Torrids website. Take it one day at a time. I actually watched successful surgical make overs that really helped the woman regain her confidence. I was also seek professional help with your doctor about diets and get a therapist. You need to make YOU happy.
Wear the bikini with a big ass smile on your face!! Love
Your body!
Agree with Amanda Cersosim-Millar
Tell him to kiss your ass
If it’s because he is nervous men will look at you inappropriately I understand that he doesn’t want other people looking at you because we can’t control people’s sick thoughts and we know they will have them but he can’t force you and needs to respect what you choose to do with your body and you need to let him know there is no compromise on that and that’s what you plan on wearing if you go to the beach/pool and he can leave if he doesn’t like it. but if it’s because you have stretch marks and have fat on your stomach then do not marry him 100% that’s horrible and shows what he really thinks about you (probably more mental and emotional abuse to come)and unless it’s an insanely revealing dress that’s more like lingerie than a nice dress he sounds like he may have some control issues and this sounds unhealthy. I would put it on hold and see a counselor first if it’s what you want.
I do have to say if it’s a thong bikini that makes more sense to me because then that can cause unwanted and annoying attention from creeps and everyone sees everything that’s supposed to be private that he would prefer remain between you two but he still can’t control you just because he’s your husband.
Idk man. Sounds like you are about to sign up for a lifetime of someone else trying to make you something you are not. My only advice to you, please don’t be offended, be with and around people who accept you as you are. That includes your tastes, styles and preferences, those are actually a very important part of you! Idc if you run around naked or wear 10 layers and show 0 skin, the right person for you will accept it and most likely love it! You should be inspired by your partner not picked apart! Good luck to you
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Why are you marrying him?
He clearly doesn’t support your choices.
Get out now if you can. Not worth the control over what you put on YOUR body
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Wear what you want! What’s he gonna do? Not marry you? Bullet dodged!
Seriously though… this isn’t ok. Why are you marrying him? He sounds like he tears you down. He’s supposed to build you up!
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You should never have to compromise on your wedding dress! You are wearing it no one else. You should feel beautiful in it no matter what anyone else thinks and as for the bikini if ur man dnt think ur pretty enough to wear one then chuck him. he’s making you change who you are no one should do that. leave while you can
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Talk to him, asking him why he feels that way. Find a compromise. I mean you’re going to marry him and honestly marriage is a lot of listening and compromising. Is he controlling in other ways, or just about the bikini? If it’s just about the bikini, I say find a compromise. If he’s controlling in other areas, I say find a couples counselor
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I know! Wear the bikini and dont get married! A true supportive husband would let you wear whatever you want and say, “yep that’s mine!”
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Dump the boyfriend and start loving yourself. You really are worth it no matter what you wear. Wear what makes you feel good.
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Sounds like the greatest issue is his insecurity. It will lead to bigger problems once you are married
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I think you already no the answer to this and almost want confirmation it’s not just you… Be brave and take that step to get away and live a healthier happier life. You deserve it x
First of all…no. I’m just going to go ahead and tell you now you might want to ditch the whole man and start fresh.
First of all if that’s what you’re comfortable wearing then you wear it you are not obligated to ask his permission that’s your first mistake.
You can ask his opinion and you can take it or you can leave it.
I’d be more upset over the wedding dress he’s a very lucky man to have you cuz the rest of us would have kicked him squaring his balls and told him to fuck off a long time ago .
Now if he feels that it is too provocative in other words your tits are falling out and it’s hugging your kitty a little bit too tight that’s one thing but if it’s a respectful bikini that’s a whole other situation it sounds to me like he may be a little insecure in himself and he’s projecting that on to you because it’s not just about the bikini it’s about the wedding dress as well.
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If he’s dictating things for you now I can only imagine what it would be like once you are married. I’ve let people dictate things in my relationship and it never works. It wreaks havoc on your mental health. You have children. They should see a man who loves their mother and doesn’t try and control her. Compromise is apart of all relationships but both have to give and take
This makes me sad. I dont understand the control. He is against it because of your stretch marks or because he dont want you showing skin? Either way, you should wear what you want and no one should dictate that. I wouldnt compromise on my wedding dress (I’m also planning a wedding) and I will wear what I love period!!! I mean, traditionally he isnt suppose to see you in your dress before the big day so why are you forced to compromise? I would NOT be marrying someone so controlling. I’ve been there, done that and believe me, it was MISERABLE. I just asked my fiance how he feels about me wearing a bikini (I’m currently a thick gal on a weight loss plan before the big day and we live in FL) and he said “wear whatever you want darling, you’re sexy as fuck and I’m smacking your ass no matter what you wear”. He then went on to say “every man in the world can stare at you all they want, I know they cant have you”. I honestly urge you to rethink this marriage as it already sounds like its going to be troublesome. Wishing you luck Mama.
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Sorry but i dont agree with just dumping him. My husband was raised different than i was and he doesn’t want me wearing anything revealing simply because hes my husband and hes the only one who should see my body
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Compromised on YOUR wedding dress 
Omg run!
Or put your foot down.
I was married I’m divorced now
It began with …
why don’t you dress like a grown up?
Do you really think you should wear that?
Then it went to…
You don’t need to be wearing that!
Too much junk in the trunk
You know your getting secretary spread?
That’s right shovel that food in your mouth!
My self esteem was gone our doctor medicated me for depression
Once I got divorced no more meds
And I’m happy now!
Seriously run!
Depression is dangerous and in women stress releases cortisol so you will put on weight!
You need to be happy and healthy for your kids
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So woman has been picking out mens clothing since she banned her caveman from the thong but if a guy states his wishes to his woman then he’s automatically wrong with only vague details.
My hubby voices his opinion on clothing a lot, as do I. It’s called marriage. My self esteem is not my hubby’s to give or take.
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If he’s already controlling what you wear…Lord help you what he will do when married. You need to rethink marrying that man that is already making you doubt your self-worth. You need to run away from him as fast as you can!
I would talk to him and make him understand how horrible he’s making you feel. That’s not how things should be. You gave him children, he should accept your body for what it is after going through such an experience. If talking to him openly and honestly doesn’t open his eyes…I’d be rethinking that marriage…
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Im confused…it sounds like both of you are uncomfortable with a bikini right now? Wear what makes you feel pretty. If husband says anything otherwise, tell him you’re not comfortable with him in a mens bathingsuit and needs to get a full body wetsuit
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I mean did you wear them prior to feeling like you do? Has he always thought that. Personally I couldn’t let someone tell me what to wear. I’d be naked 24/7 if I could. Your body isn’t his property 
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Meanwhile I don’t where a bikini because I have frost bite scars… If my husband ever told me not to do I would do it anyways. My husband told me to buy one. I said no I don’t wanna explain my back to random ppl. So he stopped. Husbands are supposed to support you and rock you, not down you. Think about that. Your body is beautiful
It sounds like he has a control issue and if you don’t sit down and have a healthy talk about boundaries and expectations moving forward you might be walking into something you might not want then you need to have this conversation before you walk down the aisle. In the beginning my husband then boyfriend really didn’t approve of the skimpy clothing that I wore and I’m from Florida we did compromise as we grew in our relationship but I don’t want to go run around in a bikini in the middle of the city there is very little he can do about it and he knows it but he’s never tried to control me because that was a deal-breaker for me. Now there has been times when we have gone out to dinner and he has made suggestions like hey can this be little bit more nicer and make an effort to look good tonight it’s a special dinner I tend to be a t-shirt jeans sweatsuit and tank top, girl I mean something like that I’m willing to compromise but not much otherwise so have that conversation if it’s something you really want to be doing your entire life
If he doesn’t love your body for the wonderful things it’s done then he’s not the guy for you. That man should be your biggest cheerleader, not shaming you. Rock those bikinis and loose the guy.
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I would honestly be rethinking getting married to this guy. Your man is suppose to love and support you no matter what and if he doesn’t, then find you one that will. Life is way too short to spend it changing yourself to meet someone else’s standards.
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Why dose he feel that way? Ask him. Try to understand the why behind it and let him know your reasons. Communication and compromise are key.
Could it be more of a modesty issue for him? That he perhaps doesnt want others looking at you in that way? That, said My husband may have an opinion on how I dress but would NEVER forbid me from wearing something.
Go to Florida, wear the bikini and find a new partner that makes you feel confident no one should make you want to cry life is too short
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Yeah well no guy has a right to tell a woman what to wear. If that’s what you want to wear then that’s what you wear.
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I already commented earlier but I also wanted to say that I’ve been hit on while wearing sweatpants. If men want to stare at you and make comments bottom line is, they will. That’s out of our control. Wear what you want sister.
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Throw the whole man out. He should be boosting you up not knocking you down. Not husband material as far as I’m concerned.
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I wouldn’t be with him if he’s embarrassed of me, I had a man like that before and it crushed me over time, I started getting really insecure. He came from an extremely modest family so go figure, any amount of skin was a no win for me.
Your body your choice. If he’s so insecure that he has to control what you wear, then maybe you should change men instead of outfits.
Marry someone else who doesn’t make you feel terrible about your body or tries to control what you’re wearing
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So he doesn’t want you to wear a bikini because he sees it as underwear and you’ve even changed the wedding dress you wanted to suit him 
You’re now considering surgery, having actual surgery because he makes you feel crap about your body even though you’ve just had kids and are already working on trying to make yourself feel better …
the man you love should be the one making you feel special and proud of what your body can do and what’s it’s been through, he should be telling you that you look gorgeous in a dress or a baggy t shirt with chocolate down it, I don’t like like my post baby body but my husband tells me I’m beautiful everyday, I don’t believe him but I love that he tries to make me feel special!!!
If you’re comfortable in a bikini you wear one because I wish I was!!!
So… re read your post and if it was your best friend writing it what would you tell her to do… because this behaviour will only get worse over time. He’s insecure and controlling already…
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Hes not worth marrying at that point if he makes you feel that way about yourself. Emotional abuse and controlling. Throw the whole dude in the trash.
Decide what matters the most. What is more important. Dress or husband. Think positive. And communicate
If he’s doing this now just imagine how he’ll be when y’all are married. That’s toxic. He should let you wear what you want and show you off. Sounds like he’s insecure and controlling to me. It’ll only get worse.
How would he feel if you told him what not to wear? You should be able to wear what you’re comfortable in without hearing his opinion about it. If it makes him insecure that’s his issue not yours.
Run as fast as you can. That man is sending a bunch of red flags up!