Speaking from experience, He will not change and it’s past time to move on! You are enabling his addiction and his behavior by continuing to stay, buy, and tolerate his behavior and you’ve unfortunately allowed him to see that he can get away with treating you in this way so while he may act right here and there he will always return to his true nature. You already know all of this you just keep ignoring your own intuition in hopes that he will be the man you want him to be, but he’s showing you exactly who he is, quit settling and realize your own worth, spread your wings and fly , for you and your children. There is a better life for you without him pulling you down with him, you just have to find the strength to walk through that door.
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Move on you are enabling him if you are paying gorgeous his beer and other stuff. He’s a user you deserve better
Move on! It affects the kids, you may not see it but it does somewhere along the road. You are setting up the kids for failed Relationships. They will have a tendency to repeat your relationship which us filled with heartache. Show them you value yourself and respect yourself enough to walk away for the mental health and physical health (the stress WILL make you susceptible to health issues) of you and your family.
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I dealt with this for 5 years (no kids together though) and I promise you the relief and unexpected happiness I felt once I left that relationship was completely freeing!
You knew he was an alcoholic and you still spent all this time being with him. Leave. You are enabling his behaviour which isn’t healthy for him either.
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In my opinion you need to leave ASAP. Your children are watching him treat you this way and they are watching you tolerate it. Leaving is not going to be easy but you can do it. You already said you are the one working and taking care of the children. Set an example for your babies and show them it’s not ok to be treated like that. You deserve better 
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If u re read this post mummma you have answered all your own questions xxxx sending love and strength x
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You enable this behavior. You are out buying it. Whyyyy are you still there is the question!
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Oh honey…my ex was the same way. Had to be the tall boys every night and turned into an a hole when he’d drink them. I’m glad that’s over with. The way he is being doesn’t change. I’m sorry
Damn the pandemic has made women go to an all time low, I suggest you sign yourself up in school and the rest is history lol I only say school because you sound relatively smart just in a bad place
I couldn’t read all that. Lost it when u said he called u a bitch. Leave immediately. He can get the help he needs, if he wants it. I cant speak for u but I’d never go through that again. 1 of my ex’s had an issue with alcohol too. He would drink 4 tall cans. Bottle JD ( Large one ). Bottle of red wine and bottle of white. Just don’t go through it. Ur stepping on eggshells. It really isn’t worth it. Leave and start new life
It’s sad you can’t see what you have just wrote?? He doesnt pay for any of his habits?? Calls you names and no doubt in front of the kids… you know what you have to do. Your a strong women to put up with that but time to cut the apron strings with him and think totally about you. Spend that money you would usually spend on him on yourself for once. Get your hair done. Buy yourself an outfit. He will bitch fit but hay he doesn’t control you. He thinks he can and you allow it. Time to get real babe… take your life back. He will change when he sees you ain’t his maid or doormat anymore.
What a waste of complete and utter life
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I spent 15 years with a verbally abusive alcoholic. His way or the highway kind of attitude. It does not get better just worse over time. Best thing I ever did was walk away. I couldn’t be happier now.
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Accept who he is and move on.
You know What you need to do.
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He’s not hiding who he really is from you. Accept that and act accordingly.
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I was in that kind of relationship 4 years move on
Take the kids. And leave. You’re raising them by yourself anyway. You don’t deserve the disrespect and abuse. Raise your standards. Either he gets a job…helps around the house…respects you…and cuts down on the drinking the HE buys. Or he’s out. Straighten your crown and stand your ground…
Wait your paying for everything and he’s treating you like that? Kick him to the curb he’s just a user.
You already know the answer
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It’s time to cut your losses and move on. It’s incredibly dangerous to stay in a relationship with an alcoholic, and it’s emotionally draining on you to constantly be policing his drinking. He has no intention to quit and it’s only a matter of time before he’s sneaking more behind your back.
Kids DEFINITELY suffer when they are raised by alcoholics. They put their addictions before their children nearly 100% of the time.
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Speaking from experience its unlikely he will change. Did you know him when he was sober ? If you did think back to what he was really like…was he really different ? Or was that just rose coloured specs ?
Hes not even going to try while you are there buying his drink for him…yes I know its for some kind of peace but is it worth it ?
Do yourself and your kids a favour…leave . Make a better life for yourselves and them because they are being affected by this.
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Move on. I loved my ex but the drinking got worse and I’m not arguing for the rest of my life. There is no reason for him to talk to me the way he did and the kids see that. The kids see what you allow and if you act like it’s normal, the kids will too. I’d never wish that on any of our combined 3 kids. Not only was he angry and called me names, he called the kids names and spoke down to them. When I caught him getting drunk and talking to his ex-wife that’s when I called it quits but I shouldn’t have let it get that far. You shouldn’t either. He is not going to change with you taking care of him. Hopefully they get better for the kids.
Accept who he is and move on.
Why you letting him behave like this you’re condoning it.
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It doesn’t change unless HE wants to. Set limits all you want but he will continue to drink more and behind your back. My best advice to you is don’t marry him. I know you love him but hun but it will get worse…soo much worse
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Take the kids and leave. Do NOT look BACK!
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Get your kids and leave him.
I mean come on, he doesn’t work? Plays videos games? Doesn’t look after your 4 kids? Doesn’t cook, clean? Pay bills? Petrol? Buy food? … but you still buy his alcohol? Which I’m sorry is you condoning his behavior massively! if you didn’t buy it how would he get it?
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It’s not gonna change
Dear, run as fast as you can. I was married 10 years to the love of my life, he just got worse and worse, then he beat me,time after time. The kids came. I had enough when they were 3 and 3 months. Packed up everything but a mattress for him and left fir good. My son at 48 still has anger issues from trauma, dissapoint,and hurt. Please dont let this be your future. I left with 2 babies 0 money and no car and never looked back! Family took us in and I went to work. Bought a cheap car. About 2 yrs later I married a wonderful man that adopted my children and has kept us safe and loved for 40 years! Please listen to advice.
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I’m sorry but you have to quit supporting his habits. Plus your kids are going to grow up to think that’s how you can treat people and that’s how you should get treated. Makes me sad for those kids.
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He is who he is and fortunately before you married him he has shown you who he really is and believe him while he is saying and doing it because he means it, it just takes the liquid courage for it to spill on out
I feel sad for you and your kids that you have put yourself through that 
He won’t change and if he does, he will still be the same. Look at your past 3 years together ….do you see the pattern ? Excellent that he stopped drinking as much, but guess what, he is still the same person inside isn’t he….you are wasting your time and energy. You are allowing this to continue, you are losing yourself in the process. His problem is not your problem, it is his alone. Please get to counseling or contact a family member you can stay with until you are on your own feet if possible. It may be easier said then done I don’t know your circumstances, but I do know from experience and from educated licensed individuals that your situation will likely not improve. It is up to you, not him, to control what you want and don’t want in your life.
I’m more pissed at you that you went and had kids with this man
Oh honey. Men will only continue to do what u ALLOW them to do. He won’t ever change bcuz he doesn’t have to. Like u said u pay for everything n do everything n he gets to sit on his ass n have u hand him it all. Y would he want to change when that’s his life
Run and don’t look back. As long as you take this, he will keep dishing it out. What is he for?
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He will never change until he is forced to, and that may just mean he leaches off someone else because you cut him off. Life will always have pain, so just chose what will hurt you less. And please realize that wether you can handle it or not, the children shouldn’t have to grow up in this environment.
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Stop enabling him and move on.
I was a pill and heroin addict for 7 years and my wife stuck by my side the entire time… she worked took care of our 2 kids took care of our house and all I did was deal and use drugs and run the streets for 7 years straight. I put this woman through complete hell and I’ll never know why she stuck by me. She made a career change and leveled up and realized she was doing it alone anyways she didn’t need or want me there at this point. She packed all my things and told me it was time to either pick my family or the drugs.
I’ve now been clean almost 2 years, and I work with her so we both have a great career and a beautiful life now.
It took almost actually losing her and my kids for me to realize they’re more important than any drug I could use. If you love the man and want to be with him, kick his ass out make him hit rock bottom on his own. If he can do that and still choose the alcohol over his family then there is nothing else you can do in my opinion. Don’t let him drag you through almost a decade like I did my beautiful wife!
Good luck I hope he gets clean and everything works out for y’all!!
-Matt
Don’t keep your kids in the environment
My husband is an alcoholic. He is in denial but he is. He would destroy my house. Drive drunk in my car. Call me names. It took him trying to manipulate me by “ hurting himself “ and almost bleeding to death for him to slow down on the drinking. He was in the physic ward for 3 days. He almost lost his fingers. Even after all that he still won’t admit he had a problem. Thankfully he hasn’t had a drink in a few weeks but it doesn’t get better. He resents me for “ trying to control him “. I’m in the process of leaving him without him knowing but it never gets better. You need to leave. ASAP. Before his words turn into violence. Take your kids and leave like now.
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You are teaching him how to treat you, believe me nothing is more important than his drug of choice! Alcohol.
Why in the hell is he still there?
Stressed out ?‽?? What he stressed about he sits on his ass and does nothing . U need to leave that trash right there and move on .he is never gonna change .and u r enabling him by getting him what he wants .ur poor kids have to watch this day in and out .think of ur kids …they r gonna thing this is normal .when it is not
He needs substance abuse counselling. You will need to stop buying his beer for him. Giving him what he wants out of kindness won’t help him. You sound very loving and caring. He is lucky to have you. Good luck.
They Don’t change. Why are you still there? Your children see he’s behavior and they see you given into it. Run!!!
He is not going to change. He is using you and emotionally abusing you. This will escalate to physical abuse. Take your kids and go to a women’s shelter. They will help you.
So sad …you need to go to AA and listen to the stories ,this is only going to get worse…leave while you still can …and before one of your children gets hurt or killed
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Stop buying his beer and leave him.
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Enabling and enabling.
You can try al a non for you but that is not a marriage.Abusive in every way. One step away from physical Like yourself enough to leave or kick him out. IF he changes you can think about returning. But he’s far from even acknowledging he has a problem. You are supporting his habit and someday death
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My husband is an alcoholic. Honey nothing will change unless 1 he wants to or 2 something drastic happens such as a dui or killing himself or someone else from drinking and driving. Ive been with my husband ofr 8 yrs and out of those 8 years he was sober for 2 because of a dui and being on probation. Now he is back to drinking and cheated this year. My advice is kick him out. You dont need him. You already said yourself he doesnt work and you pay for everything. So kicking him out wont affect you financially. We both deserve better than what we have. Dont waste anymore time. Good luck!
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For your childrens sake please leave! These will be memories they will remember forever. And possibly think the behaviors are okay. Don’t give them a childhood they have to recover from. Speaking from experience.
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Leave . You are a strong woman.
Leave, he will always be the same. Drinking is terrible, he won’t stop it will only get worse.
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If you have to ask……you know the answer. You can’t teach and old dog new tricks. Move on and RUN!!!
Take yours babies & dip!
He isn’t going to change. I’ve been with an alcoholic
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Move on he’s not going to change and I mean you did say you do everything so I guess my question for you would be what’s stopping you ?
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Why keep dealing with that crap? You aren’t his personal swearing bag & slave, you deserve so much better then a drunk who doesn’t wanna change, you & your kids need to get away from him, he’s toxic, do you want your kids seeing you being disrespected like that? You sound so caring & nice, you deserve a 100% better then him, run now before you get married
Guys she is just looking for sympathy she will not leave. She already knows she doesn’t need him she can get rid of him easily but she just want to do the run around and get sympathy.
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Addicts have two choices. Quit or die. The choice unfortunately is up to the addict. There is nothing you can say or do to change that. You can only choose for yourself. Ask yourself if you want to continue living a life of misery? Work on solving that issue. Work on recognizing you deserve so much more. Most importantly your children need a steady life. Your children need not see their mom uncared for. Your children deserve your best. Much peace and love ☆
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What are you waiting for. I’m sorry but i find women like you disgraceful and you give us females a bad name, you hang around to be used and abused and you also subject your children to his behaviour. Ridiculous take him to court, get custody and get out.
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Aa for him and therapy and quittong… or I’d leave. He has to want tjis… or it won’t work… he won’t change til sober. And you can’t control a drunk a**
You know the answer…… know your worth sister!
Leopards don’t change their spots. You already know he is an alcoholic. He is also a narcissistic person. You know what to do to bring peace and happiness to yourself and your children. Its whether or not you are fed up with this abusive relationship. Ask God for guidance and help. Stop thinking you are doing something wrong---- your not. You are being used----- people don’t change. God bless.
I’m sure family and friends have already told you to leave. I don’t understand why you’re going to listen to a bunch of strangers. I can’t believe you’re even asking this question. Those children deserve better than the 2 of you.
Why are you even posting this you clearly have said he’s a piece of shit but are still with him so idk what you want us too say
Leave. Just the drinking could be dealt with as a couple but if he’s cruel and abusive to you when he drinks then that may come out at other times too, even if he cleans up. If the behavior is not under control you shouldn’t stick around to be abused. Protect yourself and your children. They are seeing how he treats you too and seeing you treat it as an acceptable situation to be in. They need to be removed from that environment too.
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Hit the road Jack…you are insane for dealing with that…he should be grateful that you’re even buying his beer.
I’d make it where he HAS to step up and get a job…Tell him to step up or step out…
And yet you stay knowing all this. You know the solution
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I have no sympathy for you your a fool to put up with that pull your big p ties up and leave or stop complaining he’s not dumb he’s got it made
When you.become a
Man you have to put
Away child thinks and fine out what more important life
Or nothing
A - stop enabling him
B - you deserve better
Leave. Make your life simpler, take those kids and get the hell outta Dodge. Save yourself heartache and depression and self doubt and leave his worthless ass in the wind
Girl you need to go and get a therapist and work on your confidence- you are being emotionally and verbally abused ! Work on yourself ,work on loving yourself and I can guarantee you, you will not put up with his shit for one extra day, you will skip out the door and let it slam shut behind you !
And you are still with him ? Why??
LEAVE. Just leave. You don’t need a heap of people to tell you why, because you already know why.
If you plan on staying with him, then plain and simple stop buying him beer. He wants it he can get off his arse and pay for it himself.
You are enabling him by buying it for him.
I don’t gotta tell you this I think u already know it’s time to LEAVE
The problem is you stop supporting his habit and think about yourself and your children because sooner or later its not the drinking thats gonna be a problem becsuse if you let a drunk drink and support them when he hits you he’s gonna continue to do so thinking your gonna support that too
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MOVE ON! You either accept it or don’t. He’s only gonna change when HE wants to. Trust me!
Leave, you don’t need this.
It’s alot easier said then done, but it sounds like your better off leaving. Honestly, if you leave it might open his eyes and he may actually stop drinking. But I wouldn’t keep waiting for a change if he’s speaking to you like that. You deserve much better.
Stop enabling him and make him leave.
Oh hunny. You know. You want to be wrong, but you know.
What you allow is what will continue. Know your worth.
1 have family members takes your kids for the day.
2 have a Family member help you move if you have to, for safety reason, plus if he gets agressive with you, you can have that family member call the cops without him knowing
3 don’t look back
4 once he stops and see that he doesn’t have you because of his drinking don’t don’t don’t go back to him. It’ll start all over again. Look out for yourself and your four kids
Or you can have a family member take your kids somewhere safe for the day, have the cops come by to make sure he doesn’t harm you and if he does he’ll be put into the cop car till you have his things together for him and it’d be up to you if you press charges against him for all the physical and mental abuse from him.
Put you and your kids first before him. If he says you owe him and you make all the money, clean the house, pay the bills, take care of him as the four kids(they are all his? 3 years and 4 kids…) Anyways…he sits on his ass and does nothing. Kick his a$$ out now. Put your foot down. If you need help offer a family member to come live with you during your working days and give them your day off the day off. I hope one of these two ways will help you out or someone else comment.
Omfg.please leave…no one deserves that…YOU NEED BETTER…for everything you do and that’s how he treats you…baby get up and go…do all u do for him for yourself and watch how beautiful your light will shine…we are not responsible for the happiness of others…he needs to man tf up…and dont go back when he comes crawling
I stayed with an alcoholic for over 40 years thinking it would get better and it only got worse
He’s a bum. It’s bad enough you had four kids with him, the behavior wont change. Leave not only for yourself but for your children.
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Girl I would have told him, “Bitch?!?! This bitch says GTFO!!” He needs to go. Buh bye.
He is not the problem.
The problem is you. You said you knew he was an alcoholic. You chose to share your life with a man who is consumed with the disease of alcoholism. He cannot purchase his alcohol without your money. He sits home, drinks and plays video games while you go to work to support him and his addiction. In return he is verbally abusive, unappreciative, demanding, and entitled. You obviously subject your children to addiction and abusive as well. The REAL question is why you chose this person who cannot contribute anything “good” to your life. Why don’t you think your worthy of a real partner? Why do you think your children aren’t worthy of a peaceful home and a healthy father figure?
It’s you who needs help. He’s just a drunk.
Your the one invited him in.
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Give him an ultimatum, if he doesn’t get help for his drinking you and the kids are leaving. You need to put your kids first, that’s a toxic environment for them.
Leave him! Do it for your kids, they definitely are being affected by your partner’s toxicity. He has to want to change, otherwise it only will get worse for you and your kids, he’s started being verbally abusive with you, it will eventually evolve to physical abuse and also turn the abuse to your kids. Save your kids from a life of trauma and abuse.
Oh babe, you’re enabling his habit. I think you know what you need to do, but maybe hearing us ladies here supporting you will help you. He won’t change until he’s ready. My father was a alcoholic, trust me hun he won’t change unless he sees it’s an issue. Best wishes.
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How and why in the world do allow this …your poor children are watching and growing up in a toxic environment
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Think of your children. He isn’t going to change.You should have left years ago
You not gone yet leave this piece of work
L.E.A.V.E. He will not change. TRUST me. You and the kiddos deserve so much more. His behavior is unacceptable and you should not be treated or spoken to like that.
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Leave for yourself and your children. You deserve much better.