So my fiancé and I discussed he wouldn’t vape anymore either because I was having such a hard time, tho I let him keep smoking because I didn’t wanna treat him unfairly , well that was the beginning of my pregnancy, now I’m 17 weeks, I found a vape hidden under our bed about 3 weeks ago and when I confronted him about it he said he had no clue and that it must have been one of our friends that left it there. Which already didn’t add up but I let it slide because I trust him. Well fast forward to today I find another one in his pocket, I asked him thousands of time what’s in your pocket and he would say nothing and make me feel crazy, so I reached in and guess what… it’s a vape… turns out he has been having his mom buy him vapes and lie to me. He has been gaslighting me and lying straight to my face and vaping my whole pregnancy so far and idk I feel so betrayed and upset , he has been deleting calls and messages to his mother so I don’t find out and has been hiding them at work or in the car … do I have the right to be upset? Or is it my hormones… because I’m heart broken over this.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My fiance lied about vaping: Advice?
Ummmm, let him vape.
He is a grown ass man. grow up.
He has already been raised. You’re not his mama.
Yah he shouldn’t have lied 100% I agree. But if he’s not smoking near you. You do not control his body or him.
Why would you be okay with him smoking but not vaping? Let him vape.
He’s a grown up… why are you telling him what he can and can’t do
You talk about him like he’s smoking crack.
Let the man live his life, damn!! You’re not his mother so quit acting like it
Let it go and let him choose to vape or not vape. Don’t be controlling.
You ain’t his mumma, you are crazzzzzy lol
Somebody has to be making these up
Your feelings are valid. However I would say nicotine is harder to quit than heroin (in my personal experience) I would explain to him it’s the lying ect. But to be honest he probably felt it was a lose lose if he didn’t agree. Hugs dear!!!
He’s not the one pregnant but all joking aside. As long as he vapes outside and especially away from the baby when it’s born, then it’s fine to me. Also if he is been smoking for years he can’t just stop cold turkey. If he is serious about quitting, get him help to do so.
I prefer the vape over the smell of cigarettes let him vape.
Oml, so you want control and you don’t have it🙃…it’s a vape, a vape…seriously…He’s grown, leave him alone…Sheeesh🥴
Can I ask how old you guys are ?
Bro this page kills me🤣
Fuck. Let him vape. I get it, but he isn’t pregnant. You are a big, strong girl who knew you’d have to give it up when you got preggers.
I’m gonna be honest my boyfriend has told me to quit smoking cigarettes a hundred times but every time I tell him no— I’m an adult. If he wants to dictate someone he can find someone else. I get why you’re upset/ because he lied, but in reality he’s an adult and this is a relationship not ownership
You’re not his mom
I’d rather a vape than cigarettes just saying
Why are you asking him what’s in his pocket to begin with? And why isn’t he “allowed” to vape? Just cause you can’t doesn’t mean he can’t. Yikes
He shouldn’t have lied to you but he obviously wants to vape and you can’t make him stop.
Maybe he lied to you because you act like that? He’s a grown man, he isn’t vaping in your house or around you while you’re pregnant so let him deal with his vaping and you concentrate on growing your baby and keeping your body healthy.
Hormones girl as long as he doesnt do it anywhere around you . You seem really possessive lol
If vaping bothers you, ask him to not do it around you which according to you he already doesn’t smoke it around you….so what is the issue??
If I was him I would leave your ass I mean ffs let the man fucking vape
Oh my control freak your relationship will end over something stupid girl get a grip he’s not a child
You’ve clearly never had a fresh fruit dart
I get you’re upset, but heartbroken…??
Wow you’re not his mother. As long as he’s not vaping around you then what’s the issue. Just because you’re having a child with him don’t mean you now get to control him🤦♀️
that’s like telling you not to eat your cravings…
The thing that got me was the statement you said about you letting him. Letting him. He is a grown person.
Omg its not like its a crack pipe
Girl come on lol really ?
It’s not fair to make him quit something just because you had to. It is wrong that he’s hiding it from you but maybe he’s scared you’re going to flip out on him. Stay out of the mans pockets and sit down and have a conversation with him without scolding him.
Girl this should be the LEAST of your worries. Don’t stress yourself or the baby over something so petty.
I understand it’s not so much the doing it as it is the breaking the promise & proceeding to hide it & lie about it. If your anything like me that’s how I’d take it.
Is this even a real post!?
like are these posts for real? They seem to just be cray cray these days.
If this is for real, let him vape. Just as long as it’s outside and not around you. Let him make his own decisions.
The words “let him” shouldn’t be in there at all. People are allowed to do as they please. Again yikes.
I highly believe there is worst things going on in the world
Girl, he shouldn’t be lying, but you are kinda overreacting.
It’s just a vape.
And I’m assuming y’all are adults; therefore, he can vape if he wants to.
It’s your hormones honey
He has to want to for hisself
Wow just be happy he isn’t doing it in front of u… that’s more respect than I got
A vape? Really go eat something maybe take a nap
He’s going to quit when he is ready and not any sooner.
Him when you’re not around:rofl:
Why try and change him. I never understood people that try and change other people. He may just be trying to appease yiu but it may be harder than he thought and is just trying not to let you down. But you both sound young and need to learn on your communication with each other.
It’s a vape get the hell over yourself
Let him…are you serious?
Hey at least he’s not doing drugs or drinking or cheating or not working…hes not doing it around you I would say no big deal save your energy incase he does something esle I mentioned…I understand u feel like he’s lieing which he is but realy it’s kinda one them things u pic your battles it could b worse
He can smoke but not vape??
Overrating over a vape. It’s not drugs honey
Omg it’s a vape he’s full grown if he wants to vape he can I can’t even take this post serious! Like for me my partner said he was going to do the rubbish today he lied straight to my face because the rubbish bags are still there! Seriously
To everybody laughing at this post, although it sounds comical and a stupid thing to be stressing over when it’s just a vape the real issue here is him lying but then he probably doesn’t want to upset you while you’re pregnant so that’s why he’s lying about it. At the end of the day it is just a Vape and honestly if he’s not wasting too much money on it and stops lying about it it shouldn’t be a big problem. God I wish that’s all my ex had lied about rather a vape than a crackpipe and cheating
Wait……what? You’re mad because your grown adult boyfriend vapes and you expect him to quit because you’re pregnant? I just want to be sure I heard that right……
Pick your battles, this is definitely not one of them
Unbelievably controlling of you! I’d straight up move back to mama’s if you trust him why you looking through his phone? You’re not adding up!
So he can smoke but not vape? Im confused. Let him be a man its not like hes cheating
You are NOT on control of what another does or says. You are ONLY in control of the way you react or respond.
You can’t expect him to stop because you did. He’s obviously not ready yet. What might help is to let him know not to vape around you or in the house. Love him thru it. If you accept it, he won’t hide it from you. If you don’t, then there will be issues.
Choose your battles wisely
Him when you’re not around:rofl:
If he’s not cheating now give it a year acting like that and he will have them all lined up .
Your feelings about him lying to you are valid. But you need to stop trying to control him.
He’s vaping, not partying in front of you. Calm down
He’s grown let that man live an go on ab your day. Just be glad he ain’t cheating
So lying and shit isn’t cool, but you’re trying to act like his mother? You shouldn’t expect someone to stop doing something while you’re pregnant just because you can’t do it. Super controlling and I’d leave you for that shit tbh
Sorry you’re mad that you can’t vape
So you go thru his phone calls and text messages? His pockets? And don’t allow him to be his own person… but “you trust him” yea he’s not making you feel crazy, you’re actually being crazy. YOU are pregnant not him just to remind you
His your fiancé not child he can do as wants within reason.
This is ridiculous. If he’s doing it outside and being respectful about it what’s the big deal? He isn’t pregnant it’s not hurting you is it? Leave him be
I’m sorry but you saying you let him smoking cause you don’t want to treat him unfairly that’s crap he’s a grown man and don’t need your approval now you could ask him to respectfully not to do it around you to make it easier on you which he don’t smoke around you so that problem is solved but it’s wrong of you to try to control him
He’s a grow ass man. He can vape if he wants to
Hes grown. If you don’t like his habit you can move on.
And the fact that he has to hide it and has his mom do it proves you’re being a little crazy
Ehhh I’d rather him vape than smoke and smell up my stuff.
You’re pregnant. I quit cold turkey as soon as I found out with both of my pregnancies. He shouldn’t have to stop. I bet as soon as you have that kid, you’ll start back up again.
Let the poor man vape. He’s not doing it around you and he’s not smoking crack.
hormones if he wants to vape then let him he is grown
This whole post is so toxic.
Yea it’s them hormones … that’s a grown ass man. There are soooo many worse things he could be being deceitful about. He hiding like a child and that doesn’t seem fair
You don’t let him do anything. He doesn’t need your permission for shit. Just like he can’t control what you eat or how much you sleep. Just because you are going to be a mom doesn’t mean youre his mom …. Keep it up and you’re gonna be a single mom…… dear lord you’re acting like he’s shooting up. My husband wants to quit vaping but I’m not going to so . Time to grow up mama
He has a nicotine addiction, most people can’t just stop that cold turkey.
And (in my opinion) I wouldn’t be tripping about a vape anyway. Cigarettes, yeah, because that sticks on his clothes and everything around him and that could potentially be bad for you and the baby to breathe in. But a vape… sis you gotta kinda chill on that
He’s a grown man not your child. This is mind blowing to me you sound so possessive and controlling that’s not okay
Okay so, I was a lot like this with my ex. I’ve grown a lot since. (Knowing what I’m comfortable with)
And honestly its so much more of the trust issue I had a problem with. Like. DONT LIE. That was a big thing for me…
The lying is bad. He shouldn’t of done that. And I get you are upset because of the lying. But actually sit down and look at what you’re upset for. It sucks but he doesn’t have to stop vaping just because you’re pregnant. He probably agreed to because you either didn’t give him a choice or he felt that he got you pregnant, you can’t so he shouldn’t either. There’s plenty of things to fight about. The lying, yes. Vaping, no
I understand it’s the fact that he lied. Make an agreement not to smoke around you, in the house etc. He’s really got to be ready to quit, then he will! Good luck
Cause you allowed him to, are you kidding me
This is definitely petty !! Let the nicotine chill him out !! Geee wiz be glad it was his momma and not another woman
Who cares. Jesus. It’s a vape. Get over it.
Wow! I’d really hate to be him when u get upset over something that actually matters
As someone that is a cigarette smoker… my husband hates it. Has tried to get me to quit a million times. I only smoke outside. My dumb butt literally sits outside in a blizzard to smoke a cig. If I want to quit, I will (I’ve don’t plenty of drugs and alcohol but quitting cigarettes is something I’ve never been able to succeed at.) He’s vaping, is it harmful to him, yes, and technically it does give off “2nd hand smoke”. I’d ask him to simply not vape around you or the baby. He can vape outside.
If that’s the least of your worries I would say he is doing pretty good
Really??? Pick ur battles here…this is very controlling of you!!!
It’s the hormones. Let him vape. Ask him to not do it around you. And pick up a hobby or your going to drive yourself crazy.
This is with all respect. I was in your exact position, never asked him to stop. I got mad a couple times, bit it was jealousy because I couldn’t and he could
But babies are awesome! So congrats in your pregnancy
He’s not a child he’s ur boyfriend let him vape or smoke what’s the big deal???
You’re not his mom. Calm tf down. What a great way to get dumped.