My fiance lied about vaping: Advice?

You don’t want him to vape, but you don’t care if he smokes cigarettes?? Uhhh :thinking::woman_shrugging::woman_facepalming:

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Sorry but you have ZERO rights to be telling him what he can ingest. If hes lying…its cuz youre most definitely being unreasonable.
Why should HE have to stop cuz YOU have a problem?
No.
You let that man do what he wants. Or you gonna lose him over vaping.
I.wouldnt give smoking up for anyone.
Idc if youre pregnant or not.
And yeah ive been pregnant 3 times so i get the other side.
Stop being controlling.
Its a fuckin vape.
Not meth.

I think it’s not really about the vape it’s more about him being able to lie to your face

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He could be a lot worse… learn to pick your battles if you wanna make it last, if it’s worth it to you

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Hormonal!! He’s a grown ass man right?!

Pick your battles… this is a petty one.

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Why can he smoke but can’t vape?
I mean yea be mad he lied about it all you want but smoking cigarettes is worse then vaping

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That’s it! Send him to rehab at passages Malibu

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His body his choice, I don’t think you really have a say on what he does. If he chooses to vape or smoke that’s his choice. You can’t force someone to quit anything it has to be on his terms. Just tell him not to do it around you. But I honestly do think that you have no control over what he does to his body.

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How about you stop treating him like he is your child? If he wants to vape, he can vape. The smoke from vaping, does NOT harm you or anyone else. If he was smoking a real cig, that’s different. Get over it and stop trying to control a grown man.

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You “let him” smoke? Sounds like your controlling him and not easy to be honest to. People make their own choices, you don’t have to agree with it.

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I mean I’d be a little upset about the lying but I think maybe your hormones are taking it too far. It isn’t as big of a deal as it seems. Maybe tell him the lying is what really upset you and next time to just tell you.

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Lol I hope he leaves your controlling ass. He’s a grown ass adult, he can smoke or vape if he wants to.

Maybe vaping helps him relieve stress girl, it’s definitely the hormones

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Over vaping? How petty.

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Maybe he lied because of how he knew you’d react.

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You sound controlling, much like my narcissistic ex husband, sadly. You can actually do more in depth research on vaping and it’s been proven to be way less harmful then most things we ingest as long as you about the vitamin E oil mixed juices.

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Why do you think you cam control what he does or doesn’t do? He obviously is not doing it around you

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It’s weird to me that you are ok with him smoking but not vaping. He’s a grown man. You can’t control him. Let it go.

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I get you’re upset over this especially with his lying which he shouldn’t be doing let’s face it. Lying is not ok. But he isn’t the pregnant one and you can’t force him to stop.

Doing so will only make him hide it more and lie more. Let him do his thing. Just be thankful it’s vaping only and not getting on the pipe or something.

The more you force it the more he’ll hide it. You are overreacting a bit about it because in the end you can’t control him :woman_shrugging:t4: I’d be more upset over lying then vaping.

When I was pregnant with both my kids both of the dads were still smoking and I wasn’t. Wasn’t phased by it :woman_shrugging:t4:

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Umm… you can’t because you’re pregnant. He can though. I think this is petty.
I’d be upset that he lied… but I’m guessing he just didn’t wanna deal with a fight. Sounds controlling (on your end.)
My ex did drugs. Lol :laughing:pick your battles girl

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Don’t ever try to change or control your spouse. It will result in resentment every time.
If you wanted a nonsmoker, you shouldn’t have been with him.

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I’m confused… he can smoke but not vape? How can you be okay with one but not the other?

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He’s a grown man and he isn’t vaping around you. I say let it be

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Pregnancy is meant to be a team effort… sorry but no. Just because she’s pregnant doesn’t mean she gets to take on the sole responsibility of adulting and healthy habits. He wanted this baby too I’m assuming?? I’m so glad you’re making the choice not to put that crap in you and your babies bodies. He should be on board too. Somethings show someone’s true character. The fact that he feels it’s more important to lie to you then just quit temporarily says a lot about his level of respect and priorities.
A lot of people need to grow up but who’s going to make them.

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Ummm hes a grown man lol goodluck

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Idk why you’re ok with letting him smoke around you, but he vapes and your so upset. No he shouldn’t have to lie about it but he shouldn’t have to stop either if he doesn’t want. It’s great he wanted to stop with you, but he obviously is having a hard time with it and you’re making it worse by being this way towards him. The best thing is to let hm vape but ask he not do it in front of you like he’s already doing

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Jesus Christ leave the guy alone if that’s all he’s doing . Could be much much worse darlin !

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Are you jealous that you can’t vape so think he shouldn’t be able to as well? My husband quit when I did but if he had been hiding it I would have been more okay with it. I just didn’t want the temptation and the cravings seeing it….sounds like that’s what the problem is and if he’s hiding then i would just leave him alone. And please don’t push this man back to cigarettes. Ew.

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wait what… you would rather him smoke than possibly quit while vaping and not get lung cancer. ok cool. you do you boo :sweat_smile:

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Why would you tell him he couldn’t vape? He’s not pregnant. You are.

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It’s a vape. It’s not meth or Heroine. You sound super controlling.

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Pregnancy is meant to be a team effort… sorry but no. Just because she’s pregnant doesn’t mean she gets to take on the sole responsibility of adulting and healthy habits. He wanted this baby too I’m assuming?? I’m so glad you’re making the choice not to put that crap in you and your baby’s bodies. He should be on board too. Somethings show someone’s true character. The fact that he feels it’s more important to lie to you then just quit temporarily says a lot about his level of respect and priorities.
A lot of people need to grow up but who’s going to make them.

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I’m confused… he can smoke but not vape? How can you be okay with one but not the other?

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No smoking a tough addiction to have and it takes everything you got to quit. I recommend the patch and n.o.p.e not one puff ever. Now that there is a kid,you will need all the money you can muster. You can try to convince your partner to quit with you, but really he has to go through it himself. If he loves and respects you he’ll give an honest shot. Good luck hun. When it’s over you will be so glad not to be a slave to nicote n

Calm down no big deal

Different but equally dangerous. This is a lifetime choice not just now. Can you live with the smoking and lies

:joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::joy: girl get a damn hobby.

Pick your battles sweetie, it could of been crack his was hiding :wink:

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I feel like your pregnancy hormones a controlling you a tad bit.

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You have the right to be upset. He did lie to you repeatedly.
If he wasn’t going to quit he should of had the balls to tell you point blank .
His mom buys him them :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

Your aloud to be upset. Yes your hormones are probably adding unnecessary fuel to the fire . But he should of been honest with you. I do understand people saying he could be doing worse things. Witch is sad that they think that just cause things could be worse it make minor stuff nothing … its still something

I guess you just have to pick your battles.
My husband quit smoking when I got pregnant with out first almost 8 yrs ago. He does chew witch is fine man has to keep one vice .It’s about meeting in thw middle and compromise

A damn vape. You can’t be serious. Just kiss this relationship goodbye because you’re way to much and controlling

What? is he twelve? Sounds pretty controlling to me!

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I personally would be sickened by the lying, hiding, deleting messages and so on. I would feel very betrayed and I am not pregnant. He should have felt like he could be honest with you. You can work through it. Honesty and communication. Prayer changes things.

He’s grown if he’s not doing it around you then I’d ease off.

Take a breath girl. The situation could be a lot worse than just about a vape.

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Oooo man mmm girl calm them hormones down or you will be a single mother :scream:

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I quit smoking cigs during my pregnancy for the health of our baby, but I didn’t expect my partner to; I just asked that he not do it around me, out of respect, so that I could resist the urge. Fast forward to me being 30 weeks pregnant. Haven’t craved one in months now and it doesn’t even bother me to see him with one anymore :woman_shrugging:t2: He shouldn’t lie, but you shouldn’t have expected him to stop either.

Honestly no because if he lies about little things he’ll lie about other things. However if he was doing it when you guys got together then you shouldn’t try to change him. I would totally leave if he’s just a fiancé but unfortunately you already are having his kid so it isn’t so cut and dry

Stop trying to control your partners yall

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Praying for you and your family.

It’s not easy to just stop either

I didnt read it all… But im guessing since your his mom then yes you can tell him not to vape. I dont want my children vaping either.

Jk… I read it all. Its absurd that your acting like his mother. Hes hiding it because he doesnt want the confrontation because… Its petty. And, well… One of you seems to KNOW this.

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Wait are you upset hes vaping or because u quit and cant anymore and him doing it around you is making it harder for you I could understand u being so upset otherwise hopefully just hormones

Girl get over yourself. He’s a grown man. You can not control every aspect of someone’s life. It’s a vape ffs not an actual cigarette and it’s not right beside you. He wouldn’t have had to lie of you didn’t pressure him into something he wasn’t comfortable with obviously. :woozy_face:

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You cannot control someone like that and tell him what he can or cannot do.

You 100% have every right to tell him not to smoke around you while you’re pregnant.

But if he’s not smoking inside or in front of you, you have no right to tell someone they cannot smoke.

The lying and gaslighting ISNT okay. But you also cannot tell an adult what to do.

Heartbroken that your man is smoking and your not? Wtf…is this for real? If you were having such a hard time then He’s done a pretty good job staying on the dl. Thank him, instead of trying to be the dictator. Get over yourself, sweat things that actually matter. You starting off this journey on a bad foot. SMH

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Vaping is better than smoking. No harsh chemicals, no bad smell, and the stuff that comes out is basically water. It will not harm you or the kids.

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Vaping is just as bad as smoking all the toxic chemicals that go in it ain’t good for your health.

“Let him smoke” over “vaping” ? Something isn’t making any gosh darn sense , and it’s not the one being “forced” to lie to your face over their nicotine addiction because if you are “letting him” you believe you are in some sort of control? He is not your lesser, you aren’t even married yet but your behavior indicates that your very very controlling. Smoking is worse than vaping I don’t care what fake news hype train your on. Nicotine is probably the worse thing on the planet. Addiction wise, I’ve been two years sober from crack and meth, and I’ve been trying to quit cigs , geuss who still smokes? This guy . Geuss what I would cal harder to quit?

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You have issues and need to seek help :weary: He sounds like he’s living in fear and scared of you :skull:

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I don’t date men that rub snuff or that smoke or vape or it’s ok if they drink alittle but not alot and I make sure they know this up front before I even date them ( I can’t stand the smell of cigarettes plus I’m allergic to it and I’ve got asthma . So I do it for my health my husband don’t do none of these he may drink a little bit so do I.

Trusting him is your first mistake

You LET HIM?? Really :joy::joy:

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Classic case of…
If I can’t have it, you can’t either

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If you don’t like it leave

Smoking is okay but not vaping… he’s not doing it around you. . Relax.

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Vaping causes crackle lung. He’ll die in a few years from it. Just get some life insurance on him since he’s determined to commit slow suicide.
He’s an adult and you can’t control other adults. You’ll make yourself miserable trying. Either love him as is or move on.

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A little bit of both.

Good lord. Get over it. Nicotine is very addictive. He’s a grown man. Accept it or be a single mom. There are worse things to get upset about.

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Girl you are friggin trippin asl

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You do you. Just don’t cry to social media when he leaves. He isn’t you. He doesn’t HAVE to quit because you had to. You LETTING him do anything is already suspicious. :roll_eyes: again. Don’t push someone into something you yourself would respond negatively to. Jesus.

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I mean it’s unfair for you to expect your partner not to vape just because you can’t. If you didn’t want to stop vaping then you shouldn’t have gotten pregnant. That’s the start of this whole toxic mess is you trying to be controlling toward your partner.

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My advice? He needs to run far away from you

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Vaping as I’ve seen is very hard to stop. If he’s been doing it a while it’s just as hard as cigarettes. I understand he said he would stop but its not that easy… he’s not doing anything bad nor is he doing it around you. You said he’s gaslighting you but you’re also trying to control him by saying he can’t vape cuz you’re pregnant thats also not fair. I think having an agreement he can’t vape in the house or around you is perfectly fair but asking him to quit a habit cold turkey is kinda hard… now ask yourself is it worth leaving a man you obviously love over a vape???

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His body, his choice

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If he lies about the small things that’s a major red flag! How could you trust him with the big things? Prayers for you.

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So because you can’t vape you made him quit too. And because he can’t and is being respectful by not doing it in your face he’s terrible? I get he shouldn’t lie but I’m getting the feeling he had zero choice.

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I’d be more bothered by cigarettes than vaping cause at least vapes smell good :joy: lady. Let that man have some free will. Tf

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Your having a baby… he’s not your baby. Quit acting like his mother. Your going to ruin your relationship over something so petty. As a single mom please pick your battles. Raising a baby, kids on your own is the hardest thing u will ever have to do. If u keep up with this dumb shit your going to find yourself alone and another wo.an is going to scoop him up, appreciate all the good things he does and let him vape

Not cool that he’s being dishonest but it seems he’s being forced to do something he doesn’t want to do. Far bigger issues then vaping in my opinion.

If he wants to vape I say let him vape but just have him keep it away from you that way you’re not tempted while you’re pregnant

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For me, Its just the fact he’s been lying.

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:roll_eyes::roll_eyes::roll_eyes: oh please! Vaping? At least it’s not drugs! It could be so much worse! Grow up so childish wow! :sweat_smile: At least he has enough respect not to do it around you.

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What’s wrong with vaping?

at least he had the decency to not do it around you, it’s not a crippling coke addiction or closet drinking

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:rofl::rofl::rofl:, so you gonna marry him any way, why you asking…you ain’t his mommy, he’s a grown man he can vape or smoke if he wants to, you shouldn’t try to change anyone…unless your perfect…grow up, your gonna marry him anyway…

Thats not really your business if he’s vapeing. Who cares if he’s not doing it around you

What the fuck even if you’re heart broken over this then you have issues ! Lucky it was only a vape and not a crack pipe :roll_eyes: … poor man

:rofl::rofl: is this a joke or a trick question?

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That’s your fiancé not your child. If he’s don’t doing it at you why does it matter.

Yeah he shouldn’t have kept it from you but you also can’t force someone to do something lol

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So like he’s stopped smoking (extremely hard)
It’s no different to using nicotine patches or E cigarettes
At least he’s trying to curb addiction
It’s something you either accept or you split up

As for lying & sneaking gaslighting ect
That’s wrong as but y’all need to be upfront honest with each other

But you can’t expect him just stop smoking at click of fingers

Hope you work it out

That ain’t his mom if he’s deleting texts lol

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At least it’s not this, atleast it’s not that—— stop. Lying is lying, period. Your feelings are valid and he should be completely honest with you.

People are being quite harsh! When you are pregnant everything can feel like a big deal even if it’s not. I wouldn’t let this upset you… if he’s not doing it around you then you aren’t tempted. Quitting smoking/vaping can be hard! Try to be understanding and maybe suggest for over all health cutting back slowly for him.

Best of luck with the baby x

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Did you say you let him?

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You have far greater things to be upset about. It could be drugs, women, alcohol. I agree he shouldn’t have lied and should have been honest with you about it but you need to let this go.

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It’s your hormones babe. Have a good cry and let it go, he tried his best. Give him that credit, he chose to hide it because he couldn’t bare to face you and is probably just as disappointed in himself as you are right now. Life is hard and trust me when I say it is much harder walking that road of pregnancy alone. Your feelings are your feelings but try to see it from his perspective as well.

Love and light

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not cool that he lied about it, but him vaping doesn’t affect your pregnancy. at least he wasn’t doing it in front of your face to (i guess because you had to quit?) rub it in. idk address the lying but making him quit because you can’t is unfair. that would be like me telling my husband he can’t drink my whole pregnancy just because i can’t. if it doesn’t hurt the baby, it shouldn’t matter.