He said in the beginning he didn’t want kids. Your son came along despite birth control and he loves him but he didn’t and doesn’t want kids. You knew that. He keeps telling you. You need to accept it and go from there.
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I didnt even want kids. After our first, i refused to have a second. Now, we have 2. However, you entered a relationship with him knowing that he didnt want kids and you did.
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You knew when you got with him that he never wanted kids. So my question is why did you get with him in the first place. Let him be he doesn’t want one
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Find someone else willing to have a child.
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Girl, if 11 years, and a whole grown ass 3rd grader didn’t get him down that aisle, what makes you think he takes you seriously enough to make another child with your ass?? Gtfoh. lol
Go find someone who treasures you as much as you say this man treasures his son. Then have a baby with that dude.
He was open about not wanting kids at the beginning. It’s not like he’s all of a sudden changing his mind.
I’m actually more impressed with him that in a situation that he could have felt trapped in, since he didn’t want kids (I’m not saying you tried to trap him at all though), that he stepped up and took responsibility and is a good dad to a kid he didn’t even want to begin with.
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U been with him 11 yrs open it eyes lady
He seems like he’s being really clear. I don’t know why you would think he would change his mind. This is something you should have thought about before you got together. It sounds like you aren’t listening to him
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Girl just get pregnant. This is your life too! ( I know I’m gonna get a lotta back lashhhh from this comment😅)
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I mean… if you knew from the beginning he didn’t want kids, be thankful you have a son. Not trying to sound harsh at all, but you knew this from the get go.
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A think a big clue in this for you should be that you’ve been with him 11 years and he’s still just a fiancé. You deserve to be made into an honest women and have your babies
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Funny I agree ur wants matter too but fact is u need to decide what u want more another child or him because it’s not fair to force or trick him into another child
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Just stop taking birth control. He would never know
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But my thing is why can’t you respect that he don’t want no more kids it’s a little selfish of you not to consider his feeling and thoughts on it all I hear is about you and how he is being rude but it’s the opposite
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How important is having another child to you? Tell him he needs to hear how u feel and if he still doesn’t want another child then u need to decide if this is something u might resent him for in the future or you love him enough to respect his decision.
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Yeah I get he doesnt want Anymore y’all . but he aint gotta be a dick to her about it.
I wouldn’t press the issue. Having kids is a HUGE responsibility. And I understand not wanting to start over. Seems like u want to try to talk him into it.
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Dont listen to the comments about divorcing him now and ruin the bond with him and his child because you decided to take a chance on the relationship! You could just “accidentally” get pregnant again so your child has a sibling or be quiet because you signed up for this! The best thing to do is to find out why he doesnt want kids?
That’s a choice you’ll have to make if you want more children it probably won’t be with him
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If you want more children and he doesn’t, either one of you compromises or you find someone more in line with what you want. If having children is that important to you, and he won’t budge, then I guess the only real way to get what you want is to leave. I personally do not want more children and made that clear to my husband before we even had any! You both are entitled to get what you want in life, it just may not be with you two together in order to make that happen.
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I mean it was clear he didn’t want kids from the beginning shouldn’t get with someone who doesn’t want kids and than try to force your belief on wanting to have kids how selfish
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If you wanted kids in the beginning, you should have found someone else. He told you he didn’t want kids at all.
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Sounds like youll need to choose between him and having a baby. Is unfair to expect him to have another child that he so clearly does not want. Either go have one on your own or you need to accept the fact that your son will be the only one.
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To many kids in the world now, lots being abused, not wanted. What don’t you understand.
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At the beginning, my husband wanted 4, then after our 2nd was born he went and got fixed. 
.
Girl hes made it clear he doesnt want kids you cant force him to do something he doesnt want
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This is my opinion if he don’t want more kids there is no compromise bc u never know how he may end up treating that baby and it could cause yalls relationship to blow up.
You are being really unfair on him. He was open and honest from the beginning, you knew what you were getting into. If the roles were reversed everyone would be bashing him for trying to force/manipulate a woman into something she never wanted. Accept this is the situation you got yourself in or move on with someone else
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you are fortunate that he is a good dad to your son when he never wanted any kids. That said–if he really does not want anymore kids why has he not gotten a vasectomy?
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He didn’t want any, you got one. Be happy or find someone else.
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He didn’t want kids / you still continued the relationship with no respect to his wishes and nothing more than a I hope he change his mind.
He continued the relationship with you / perhaps with the hope you’ll change your mind.
You now have a child who is loved and accepted … Isn’t that a compromise of halfway and what relationships are about?
I think he’s done more than his share by accepting a child he didn’t plan on or want … Now when are you going to accept what he wants? 
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If you want kids why are you with someone who doesn’t? That is not fair to either of you.
Hugs. It sounds like you accepted what his wishes were but thought he wasn’t being honest. Hugs. Hugs hugs
You knew he didn’t want kids when you married him. That’s on you.
You need to decide if you want another child or to stay in your current relationship. He said he didn’t want kids from the start.
Do you want another child more than you want a life with him? Get a puppy. 
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He didn’t want kids from beginning but ended up having a son with you now you want to get him to have another baby with you when he doesn’t want another one so deal with only one or find a new relationship
Can’t force somebody to have kids🤷🏽♀️ You knew what you signed up for. You wouldn’t want a guy forcing you into having a kid, that’d be against your rights and a super toxic thing to do, it works both ways though. Surprise blessings happen, but trapping, guilting or tricking someone into something (no matter who it is or what it is) is sooooo wrong
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Maybe decide whats more important. Another baby or him. Cant make someone want what they don’t want. I wasted so many years on men who weren’t worth it. I would’ve chose another child if I could go back.
You need to ask yourself whats more important to you. Having another baby or having a happy life with the family you already have. Hes made it clear he doesnt want anymore so I wouldn’t push the point. Either leave and have one with someone else or be greatful with the 1.
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I think he needs to be given more props he never wanted kids but still stayed around, he didn’t have to.
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How is HE the one not listening? I don’t get it. Repeatedly he told you he wanted ZERO kids. You got pregnant “accidentally” and he stepped up! Kuddos to him! He is still telling you he doesn’t want kids and once again YOU are ignoring his wishes and pushing the issue. He’s already proven he is willing to compromise for his family— are you?
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Some people just don’t want kids and he has been honest about it from the beginning. I’d honestly be more concerned that you have an 8 yr old, have been together 11 yrs and are still engaged.
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I think you need to make the very hard decision of whether you want to stay with your fiance or have another child with someone else. Unfortunately, there is no compromise when one partner does not want any children.
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I can’t really offer too much advice on how to get him to talk about wanting another kid when it’s clear he doesn’t want one.
What I can say is that I feel it’s wrong to try and force his hand into having another one. Just because he loves the son he has and is a great father, doesn’t mean this is the life he wanted for himself. And to force his hand could lead to him resenting you down the line.
On the other side of the coin, if you would resent him for not having another child - it may be time to evaluate what you want more in your life. Another child or a lifetime with the partner you have chosen.
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If you knew going into the relationship that he didn’t want kids and you at least got one out of him you should be thankful for that. I know it sucks but sometimes you have to sacrifice things for the other person especially if he told you going into it he didn’t want kids.
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Its a shame on ur boy .he’s not gonna have any nephews or neices or faimily and when ur gone he’s gonna be alone. .id try again. Or find somebody who does want to have more
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His intention on children was extremely clear, you both agreed and understood, but “accidentally” a child was delivered.
He has made the best of his current situation by choice. However, your desire to forcefully introduce another child and use son to manipulating wanting a sibling will be detrimental for you, your son and family. He will leave.
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Welp you knew he didn’t want kids in the beginning. Just because he’s a great dad and loves the one you have doesn’t mean that changes anything. Just consider yourself lucky and enjoy the fact that he stepped up and became a good dad when y’all had one by accident. If this is something that will make you resent him if y’all don’t have another kid then end the relationship. Otherwise stop asking and just enjoy y’all’s life!
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Children are a two yes decision. You went into the relationship knowing that he didn’t want one much less another.
You have to decide if this is enough that you two shouldn’t be together.
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Stop mentioning it. You will lose. For one you have been together for 11 years with a 8 year old, not married. So if you keep pressing the issue it would be easy for him to leave cause there is really no commitment to keep him there. Shut up and hope he marries you one day.
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In all honesty, quit while you’re ahead. He didnt want any in the first place and now you have one. He’s telling you all you need to know when he shuts down the conversation. Don’t make him resent the life you have built. If he changes his mind then great but it doesn’t sound like he wants to add to your family.
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You stated that “your fiancé never wanted kids” so technically you’re the one being selfish. I say accept it.
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What isn’t civil about the discussion? You knew he didn’t want kids from the beginning so I wouldn’t be too shocked. After all your son is 8. That’s a huge gap in age and basically like starting all over. I probably wouldn’t have wanted to start all over either. I think u have a right to want more kids but don’t have a right to try to force him to want more kids.
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Personally I feel 11 to 12 years is a huge gap for another sibling. The idea of a pet is a wonderful idea! However, the fact you both are still fiancé and not yet married is a bit of a red flag… you have to be honest with your self and decide what it is you truly want. Do you want to be with this man for the rest of your life and no more children? Or would you be happier calling the engagement off and finding someone who wants to have more children with you. Whatever you choose will have an impact on your son too. Extremely tough decision. I wish you luck! 
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My husband actually didn’t really want kids due to the fact that we live in a very messed up world. But when we had our first pregnancy scare, he was kinda bummed to find out I wasn’t pregnant. Then we started to try for a baby. And now we have two kids. If your fiancé is set on never having anymore kids, I’d just leave it at that tbh. He won’t change. I agree with just being happy that you have at least your son. If not, then you might just have to find someone else if it’s that important to you.
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You cannot force people to change their mind and even though you want one really bad… You will have to respect his wish as well. But thats just what i think. Prayers either way.
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Dont force a man to have a baby, he was man enough to step up to it when it happened but he seems sure he doesnt want more and forcing him wont do any good for anyone. It also sounds like you went into the relationship well aware and in agreement with not having kids so at this point asking for one isnt the greatest thing.
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Ah babes he don’t want kids, he has been honest … maybe your son will have some and you’ll be nanny, it’s a tough one but ultimately it’s all on you he has made his feelings pretty clear
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Truthfully, you sound very selfish. It seems that what you want takes precedence over what he has repeatedly told you his feelings are. Simply because he has taken responsibility for the surprise that entered his life does not mean that he wants more children and you trying to change him is no different than a man trying to force you to have a child when you dont want one. Its wrong and inconsiderate.
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I think you may be wasting your time and heartache. He just doesn’t want another child. I was there at one point in my life; he just didn"t want any kids, so I left.
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If you want another and he does not then you either accept that you will always have 1 child or leave the relationship to look for someone who could offer you another child. But either way it sounds like you’ve had lots of civil conversations and he has voiced that he doesn’t want any more children. You can’t talk him into it. He either wants it or he doesn’t and expecting someone to change is a huge mistake. Accept or leave.
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Are you gonna be happy with just one child? If so then don’t push and respect him but if you think you will still want one in the next few years then you’re only giving yourself reasons to resent the man you love. Yes having one child is fine but it all depends on what is gonna make you happy. I don’t think your son wanting another sibling is because he has heard you say it, I believe children already know what they want and if that’s what he is telling you then that’s what is gonna make him happy to. Sooner or later you are gonna have to choose yourself and your happiness above the rest and it’s best to do it sooner rather than later. Later will bring resentment from yourself and maybe even both sides. But that’s just my opinion. I have one child and I haven’t ever told her I wanted another but she always asked for one. Her dad gave her 5 other siblings and now she knows why I only wanted her but she loves her brothers and sister and she understands where I was coming from. It’s all up to you. Besides this is your life too. Why should you be unhappy just to make him happy? In my eyes that’s not an equal relationship. But like I said this is just my own opinion and I mean no offense.
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And you’re stuck on what you want too … don’t give a good man a choice when he’s good to you , you have a son , they have a great relationship - I wouldn’t rock the boat 🚣♂️
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My friends ex husband repeatedly said he didn’t want kids and she stopped taking her bc and had a baby anyways, she was always upset he didn’t make childcare a priority in his life and they eventually split up, got together again she got pregnant… 2 kids later she can only get him to take his boys on his time period and he doesn’t do more than what he has too. If he doesn’t want kids don’t have kids or you could be raising them alone.
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It seems to me he already compromised and is a great father.
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If you knew from the jump he didn’t want kids and you did and managed to have a kid even on birth control I say you already kind of hit your compromise. If you really do want another one it may be time to look for a relationship elsewhere.
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11 years as a fiance, I think you answered your own question.
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You knew he didn’t want kids and you got pregnant regardless. He stayed but maybe abit resentful even though you say he loves your boy.
Second time may be the straw that breaks the camels back.
Think this one out and maybe sit down and talk it out with your fiance of 11 years. If no marriage yet that might be a red flag too.
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These “just stop taking your birth control” comments are disgusting. You don’t get what you want by manipulating other people into it. Grow up.
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Sounds like hes made the best of something he didnt plan for already and the fact thats you’re asking him to do something again that he didn’t plan or want to do the first time he probably is starting to resent you and feel that you don’t care about him and what he wants. I’m not usually an advocate for splitting up a family but if it’s that important to you and he absolutely doesn’t want it then that is a major Cornerstone that could make or break a relationship. I know it’s disheartening that he shut you down instead of listening but sometimes when someone is Dead set and absolutely sure about something they’re doing someone a favor by telling them not to waste their breath the thing you need to think of this how important is it to you because no matter if he listens or not you can’t force it on someone and then have them still be the person they were before you did that
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You knew he didn’t want kids. He has already taken a huge sacrifice in what he wants to raise your son.
Don’t try to pressure him it’s his sperm his choice.
You knew from the get go 
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I never talked to my husband nor asked for his opinion. I had four and he found out once I went to the doctor and confirmed. We raised two lawyers, a nurse, and a CEO. We just had our first grandson. My husband didn’t want any more after the first one. It’s been 38 years and he thanks me every day for our four kids. My four kids are each other’s best friends. They call home every day and come home on Sundays for family day. They also all vacation together. If they are invited to an event, they all go together, lol.
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Girl 11 yrs n u called him ur fiance seriously do you think that he’s committed after 11 years and you’re still not his wife you could have kids or somebody that doesn’t mean that they give a f*** maybe it’s just convenient to be with you and the fact that you had a baby yeah he loves his baby but he’s not willing to risk it again you need to find someone who’s going to love you and want to have as many kids as you want
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I may be the odd ball here but you did have a child together. You shouldn’t disregard his wants even after you had a child together. You sound like only your biological wants matter.
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Probably don’t want to hear this but maybe he shouldn’t be your fiancé? If having another baby is important to you and not having another baby is important to him then maybe you two should invest in people who want what you want
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You have to respect his feelings. He was honest from the beginning, stepped up when he became a dad. Feel blessed for that.
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You can’t really fault him - he was clear on not wanting kids. He’s made the best out of a situation that presented itself, and thankfully has embraced it and is a loving father. You can’t force him to want more. If you knew from jump that you wanted kids and he didn’t, you needed to make a decision if you were willing to live with that. At least you have one, enjoy it.
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You were with him knowing that he never wanted kids and you guys still had one. Why push more children?
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The father of my first child only wanted one kid. When he got with his fiancé she got pregnant and now he wants 5. Idk how this helps you but it’s possible for him to change his mind. 
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You say he wont hear you out but you arent listening to him either. He didnt want any kids and you have 1.
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He’s already compromised once, and the fact that he’s still with you and active in your sons life is a testament to how good of a man he is, you trying to force a second baby on him would be selfish and inconsiderate. Have you asked him why he never wanted children?!? Regardless of the reasons he still now has one, now it’s your turn to compromise and BOTH of you need to figure out an age appropriate way to explain this to your son, if this is a breaking point for your relationship you may want to keep this in mind, either way one of you are going to end up resenting the other and can potentially cause your child you have now to resent you both
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Okay, seems like you need talk to HIM and tell him straight up you want another child. If he doesn’t then. You will have to make the choice of wether you will be happy still later in life. I want you to think about something though. What is the reason you’d like another child? Are you just lonely and want someone to take care of? I know it’s hard when the kids grow up but think they all grow up and become independent from you at some point. 
Anyway, sorry lol I’m being a little reflective. Lol because I sometimes THINK I may want another baby but… lol Good luck?
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He might feel like one is enough. He can give EVERYTHING to the one. & Be a great dad. I say if it happens it happens.
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Hate to be that person, I haven’t read any of the other comments, but you signed up for this. You’re lucky you have your son if in fact he told you to expect 0 children from him.
I’d stop trying to force your wants on someone who gave you a clear path they wanted to be on. Sounds like he’s a pretty stand up dude if he already took to one child and still does right by him and you.
Good luck.
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Either accept that you aren’t having kids. Or go be with someone who does want them.
If you force him to have a baby he doesn’t want, he may not be good to them, might even resent the child. I know from experience
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After 11 years of being together, having an 8 yr old and still his fiancee, seems he gets what he wants. If you want another child id be moving out of that relationship and finding a partner that wants children.
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11 years is a long time to be waiting girl, unfortunately it’s sad but you can’t change anyone especially a man, they are set in their ways and thoughts. It may be time to get in a serious conversation, all I can say is luckily y’all aren’t married yet.
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He told you the truth from the beginning despite what everyone thinks you can not change someone just because you want them to be different… Either be happy with what you have or leave to find someone who wants kids.
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I mean you knew he wanted zero kids when u met him & chose to date him. You got pregnant anyways and kept the kid knowing he didn’t wanna be a dad and he still stepped up and is an amazing dad to a kid he never wanted… why would he sign up for another one. I’d be happy he didn’t run when u got knocked up the first time knowing he didn’t want kids ever. If u knew u wanted more then one kid maybe u should have went for a man who actually wanted kids.
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Leave him be. He doesn’t want one, respect that. Its been over 11 years u’ve known this. He had to have stated his reason why to u already.
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I’m glad hes being honest and if hes a good dad he knows his limits like all good moms do I wouldnt put more on my plate than I can carry I believe its because he knows he can meet the demands he has now and can handle and tolerate all his responsibilities meaning he feels good where hes at, adding more can become burdening and overwhelming especially if he has other goals he wants to be met I wouldnt say give up but I’d say maybe find your in between you guys can meet halfway
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I’m my opinion this was never the man for you since you clearly wanted two different things when it came to a family. If he’s done having kids you have to respect since he was upfront about it from the beginning. If you love him and want a life with him then I would appreciate what you have and move on.
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You shouldn’t try to force or convince someone into having children. If you really want a child then he’s not the one for you and move on
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I can’t believe how many responses I’m seeing saying to give up what you want and hope he actually marries you. Wow. No. Never settle for something that is going to make you unhappy. If you want more kids, maybe it’s time to re-evaluate your situation/relationship and decide which one is more important to you. If it’s more kids you ultimately want, then maybe it’s time to move on to someone who wants the same thing. If you can be happy without more kids and want to stay in this relationship, then do that. But ultimately it’s what’s best for you and your child that’s important.
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You said he’s stuck on what he wants… Sounds like you’re also stuck on what you want. You guys already have a kid when he said he didn’t want any so you already have a compromise. Even if it wasn’t intentional
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You can’t try to make him to see your point of view of wanting another kid. Just be thankful that your have the one the two of you have already. You knew from the beginning that he didn’t want kids. It’s best to not keep bringing it up it push it any further if he keeps ending the conversation when you bring it up about having another kid. If it truly means that much to you on having more children, then it might be in the best interested with the two of you to move on and find the person that does want kids.
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I think he did hear you out. He embraced being a father even though he didn’t want to be. You knew he didn’t want kids, you wanted two he wanted 0 one is a good compromise. I feel like you won’t hear him out and alls you are stuck on is what you want instead of considering your partner and his feelings when you knew very well from the beginning that that is not what he wanted. Honestly in my opinion You sounds like your not self aware and incredibly selfish. The man does NOT want anymore kids. Be thankful for what you have and leave the man alone or well… leave the man alone… and if you do that I think that says a lot about you… he stayed when he didn’t get his way. So what because now your not getting yours it’s a problem? Sad really… hope you don’t tear your family apart over a baby, I’m sure your kid would rather have their parents together then a sibling, just saying… rant over 
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I don’t know what type of advice to offer, my ex didn’t want children either. He told me from that start too. We have a beautiful 1 year old who we both love dearly.
Of course I want more children but he does not. I respect that even know it’s upsetting at first but I have my daughter and that is more and enough for me. Be happy with what you have, your family and one day you’ll be married! Appreciate what you have now.
Ohh and please don’t “stop taking birth control” because that will be the worse thing you can do.
Again appreciate what you have now, wish you guys the best!
Don’t push him if he didn’t want kids be happy that u have one child and that he is a good dad some people who don’t ever want kids aren’t good parents even if it does happen because they just didn’t want them. I’m kind of in the same situation but the other way around I have 2 and don’t want more my partner is from a big family and would love heaps more but not going to happen with me