Sounds like you’re not getting married and filing for child support the day the baby is born. But that’s just me 
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Jeeze! Run!
If my boyfriend gets a gift card for his birthday or holiday he hands them to me (We have been together 3 years, live together and have a kid together) he doesn’t see it as his money. He sees it as “get what WE need” and it goes the same way if I get a gift card. We put our kids and the household first before anything else. It’s pretty immature and greedy to do that. You’re supposed to be a team… not “mine and yours”
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This is not a good relationship. Get out of it and move on with your child alone. Relationships are not about me and mine they are about we and us.
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I’d tell him to use his 3 gift cards to take himself out for dinner and cry into his Nando’s now he’s single!
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Sounds like he has a pretty self-centered person good luck sounds like you got some red flags there that will probably only get worse
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I think there are bigger issues than a few gift cards here. There’s a lot of ‘mine’ and ‘his’ in this post. His money, his family, not ‘our’. You’re about to be a family. There shouldn’t be any questioning over what belongs to who. It doesn’t sound like he’s thinks you’re an equal partner and that rings huge alarm bells for me.
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If it was in a card that was a “congrats on the baby” baby shower type card then its for the baby and birth/recovery related meals. Also that’s really deficient partnering. Whether immaturity or self absorption, this is a red flag behavior.
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Thankfully, he is only a fiance, so you can show him the door.
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If you write Pros and Cons on this “Fiancé” he’s not going to come out looking good. Dump him.
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There are so many signs that this is not a healthy relationship. Get out now while you still can. This male (not a man in my opinion) is selfish and controlling. Your life will only get worse. I speak from my daughter’s experience. Again RUN now and get established before your baby is born. Wonder what his employer would think of how he is treating you and the gifts that were meant for your baby.
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You need to YOUR LIFE in order for YOU and YOUR CHILD - doesn’t appear that he wants to be a 100% parent to your child or you!
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He sounds like an absolute horror, and the pettiest man in the world. You’ll be having these types of arguments with him for the rest of your life.
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Sounds like you need to reevaluate your relationship with him. He seems like a taker and not interested in anything that doesn’t benefit him. I think counseling would be the best option. And if he isn’t will to compromise at all then walk away. It will suck and be so difficult but better than dragging out everything and spending years being taken for granted and taken advantage of.
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I’m stuck on the fact he expects you to still pay half the bills while you are on maternity leave from birthing HIS child… Marriage is supposed to be a partnership and he is literally being so selfish. Please do not marry this man. You will regret it. If he is this selfish about gift cards that were given to you both as a gift I can’t imagine what he’s going to be like when there are actual issues to be addressed. This just sounds so toxic
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I’m sorry but everything you wrote tells me you need to prepare yourself to be a single parent. The father of the child you are carrying is telling you loud and clear that you and the baby are not his priority focus. You will not be able to depend on him ever. Make your plans as though you will never get any help from him. Make sure you position yourself to be independent. If he does help some then think of it as a bonus,but never look to him for necessity.
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I’m sorry you picked him but runnnnn far and fast from him …he’s very self centered and He’s never going to change and trust me you can’t change him…
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The whole “your money my money” “your half my half” doesn’t sound like life-partner material…
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Run, lady, Run in the opposite direction. Apply for child support ASAP and prepare to raise this child on your own. I guess I’m old fashioned, but I’ve seen this scenario many times and eventually you will become one of those previous relationships. If you stay, be prepared, and for goodness sakes, someone send that boss a thank you card for his generous gift.
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Hmmm…not a good omen!!! He does not seem very mature.
His concern should be for you and his baby! Self absorbed is not easy to live with! Been there.
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Leave, leave now, don’t be silly like me, took me 15 year’s too get rid of the lazy slod, I more or less bought up our son on my own, and paid for most things myself, he will never change, so get out while you can, he will end up costing you more money having him around.
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Any and all gift cards I received while I was pregnant went to my daughter not me 
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He isnt gonna change. Maybe the reson for “previous marriages”. Either accept it and marry him or count your precious baby as the best thing you will ever get from him and move on. Spending the gift cards on his other kids would be enough for me to pull over and ask him to get out. Your baby is already playing second place with its own gifts!
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Leave now. This won’t get better. The moment you said he’s using it for his other kids, the writing is on the wall that this IS his lifestyle choice, and you’re in it while he wants you to be.
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my ex-husband was the same - he spent all the money given to out child on himself and not into the savings account - the marriage lasted about a year after this level of betrayal. Take my advice - start a savings account - move resources into it. I still had o pay all the bills as well. - Get out as soon as you can - hes shown you who he is - believe him - this will only get worse. You deserve a husband not a manchild. I was gaslit into thinking I was the AH It took me years so see this for what it was. Start protecting your ressouces because he won’t protect you. He has made that clear
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I agree with alot of people on here. Flush that guy run while u can he obviously isn’t in love with u like u think he is. In a relationship everything should be equal yes he may have other kids but those cards are supposed to go to both of u for the baby. It would be different if u guys invited his other kids and do something as a family but the fact he is keeping u separated tells u something.
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If he is not considerate now, WITH THE MOTHER OF HIS CHILD,he never will be. Girl do yourself a favor and get rid of him, or you’ll end up with a life long of posts like this. I wish you the best.
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This is not a man I would be in a relationship with. Unfortunately, you will need to coparent forever with him, but definitely not someone who is going to put you and your family together first.
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I think you may want to reconsider this relationship. I do not think he will ever treat you as an equal or respect you. The two of you are supposed to be partners but it doesn’t seem he feels that way
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Sounds like he’s thinking more about himself than you and the child your carrying. To me it’s just strange for someone to say “I’m taking these as mine” instead of “let’s figure out how to use these the best way possible together”. You’re supposed to be in a partnership with each other. You’re bringing a baby into the world together. Honestly, he needs to grow up.
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You aren’t wrong. Your partner sounds completely unsupportive and selfish, and not just about the cards WHICH ARE OBVIOUSLY FOR THE BABY.
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Wait that’s your fiance?! No way in hell you actually said yes to that selfish man this can’t be the first time he shows this behavior and now during your most vulnerable time in life … Miss please leave that man the fact that he even took the cards is despicable
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Dump his ass. Move on , he’s bitching about some gift cards now, what will it be next. Narcissistic behavior.
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Sounds toxic. Why aren’t they for y’all? In the end, it was his people that bought it so they are his I guess but if he were a partner…like an actual partner it would be y’alls not his or yours.
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You being petty to me. If he working he can get dinner. What is wrong with him keeping the cards he having a baby to.
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If this is how you guys fight about gifts then hell, imagine that 1st baby diaper change or all-nighter with a crying baby. How you guys managed to bring a baby into this toxic relationship is beyond me:roll_eyes:
kids should not be having kids, sell those gift cards and book both of you for life coaching, therapy and maybe even some communication classes.
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Really I had my babies came home and continue to cook most of the time if my husband was here from work I would cook at least two meals a day he also helped me when I first came home until I healed up more. But this not being able to go to the grocery store because you had a baby is lame. You’re just too lazy to go to the grocery store and cook is all it balls down to. I took the baby inthe house and put the baby in the baby bed and carried my groceries in a few at a time if my husband was here he would help me get them in.That’s why people stay broke calling out for food going to pick up food every night instead of cooking at home. Look at the women that had babies way back in the 1800s they cooked they didn’t have delivery pick up and some of them grew everything on the farm and worked on the farm and then cooked the meals if you think you can’t have a baby and go to the grocery store you young folks need to wake up get a life that’s ridiculous!
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Run!!! I don’t like how he is treating you!!! Sounds very selfish. All this over some gift cards? What happens when the baby is here and you actually have more important stuff to think about. He doesn’t see your sacrifices and takes into consideration you…sorry to say but… try to do this for yourself cuz it may get worst. It doesn’t sound like yall progressing as one/a family/etc for the future.
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That is what is wrong with this generation of kids now. Everything is about ME!! A marriage is a unity thing. I work and so does my husband. What we have is OURS NOT MINE OR YOURS. Marriage is 100% for each person working together not this mine and yours thing.
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Oh gosh, run…fast. if he’s acting like a child himself, how is he suppose to help u care for a child? He sounds very selfish to me
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Girl throw the whole man away. Why are you marrying that tool?
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Find yourself a real man because a real man wouldn’t treat you like that.
Also for all of you women out there…stop making babies with these guys who could care less about you.
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Your upset over a gift card. A card not a single soul owed either of you. Grow up. Your having a damn baby. And maybe don’t take 6 weeks. Single moms don’t. 
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His money, your money, the baby’s money? Are you married or just shacking up with child resulting? You need to get on the same page financially or go your separate ways. Your relationship, whatever it is will not succeed unless you do. It will just suck. Counsellor, priest, financial adviser, lawyer, heart to heart, whatever you choose. Do it now, it isn’t going to get better until or unless you do.
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He got the cards, you want the cards, he wants the cards, sounds like everyone is greedy… What is he gonna go do spend them on just himself? Everything bought on a gift card is money saved (you said you bought literally everything but he paid you back half, no you bought half of everything… ) Y’all being petty over gift cards then I can’t imagine how pretty things really get over serious issues lol
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Who were the gift cards given to? Thats all that matters. What makes u think u are entitled to half of his shit? Just cuz ur engaged?..fucking self absorbed…hes literally giving u what u asked for. The baby gc and a couple food gc. It’s his boss, he worked for those (evennif they are a bonus) to spend on his kids. What are u mad about? They hes taking care of all his responsibilities and not just the 1s that involve u?
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You know the answer. You just want to be told to do it. Don’t think his behavior is going to change. It will only get worse. Kick that child to the curb
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When someone gifts you for a baby, that is what it’s intended for, things for the baby. IM sorry he sounds like an ass, and your probably gonna have issues like this for as long as your together. Think long about marrying him.
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He is TRYING to flex and entertain while you are recouping…throw this whole man away
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Girl you need to leave him be for good cause if you bought everything you need for the baby and he don’t want to use the gift cards for the baby or for things you will need and he’s telling you that while you’re in recovery you have to pay bills, he’s not for that life and he’s just milk it till you run dry
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Get out asap. He’s showing true colors and who comes first!
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Nope not okay. You need to be supported during this time. Please be aware of this before you commit fully. If you are not 100% in the relationship do not give your baby his last name. This one thing will save you so much energy and time in the long run. You have to think about this beautiful baby you are bringing into the world.
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Walk maybe run away from this man. He will only be heartache fir you and your child. Did you not see this selfish streak in him before getting pregnant? Good Luck, you will need it.
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Doesn’t sound like a team. Whenever I get cards gifted to me I always give them to my partner to handle. It al goes to the house anyway, could be groceries, food for family, etc. But it is never thought of as my money or his money. Its our money. It’s very selfish of him to act like this. Red flag
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This shouldn’t be that complicated and not a his or mine situation. He sounds like a lil B. If you’re having to worry about splitting cost of baby stuff like that and him keeping the gift cards you may want to reconsider that fiancé part.
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Goodness, the more I hear about some of the actions of these so called daddies, I appreciate my husband, who took care of me and the babies I mean we were only teens, and when I got pregnant. He took on his responsibilities like a trooper. When there are babies involved, we should make them first. They didn’t ask to be born. Btw, we’ve been married 51 years…
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Yikes. I would tell your grown ass adult fiancé to grow up and start acting like a father. Yeah. Couples counseling or therapy is needed.
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One word: LEAVE.
This is unacceptable behavior. He is dividing your family into “mine” and “yours”.
His boss gave you both a card for the baby you share together. These 6 cards are all for you both. Amazon and visa and buy buy baby for baby stuff. Food cards for food/dates.
There are a TON of red flags in this post and it makes me worried for you!
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I’m wondering why you would want to bring a child into this world with him. Run now!!!
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All I’m saying here is that no wonder he has an ex already clearly she couldn’t put up with this behaviour either!
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Girl! I was going to say divorce him. Today, not tomorrow, but today! But then luckily I read you’re only engaged. Run! Run for the hills! Run as fast as you can even though you are prego! Bounce yourself and that baby over to the next county. Now let’s examine this a bit. Have you been in previous toxic relationships? If so it’s time to start picking a different type of guy. Pick the nice, boring ones. I know it’s hard, but now that there is a child involved, no more bad boys. Time to grow up. The end.
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That fact you are asking these questions, to me shows you are being gaslighted. You believe something doesn’t seem right and he is trying to convince you otherwise. Don’t doubt yourself. Get out now. Don’t stay for the baby. Things only get worse.
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I think that you would do well to insist upon a legal agreement about child maintenance - and ensure that you after the birth you take adequate contraception steps so that this lovely man does not become father to two of your children - because he ain’t gonna be around for long! You talk about his “previous marriages” - it doesn’t sound like a good track record to me!
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Run girl, and run fast. You will have all you can do to take care of your baby. You don’t need to have a self centered, selfish brat to contend with also. If he is putting himself first now instead of you and the baby, I can’t even imagine how he will treat you as time goes by. He is not husband or Father material. Save yourself a lot of anguish and heartache and end that relationship NOW.
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i have wayyyyy too much of an oppinion its impossible to even know where to start, but to answer your initial question, he is wrong the entire reason his boss gave him those cards was for the child you are both expecting right now, that is his baby gift for the event that is going on in employees life currently. I dont think the bosses intentions were to help support his other children lol
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It’s sad he would even think restaurant cards are for him only… they are for both of u to enjoy a night without cooking.
What kind of family oriented man would ever assume a visa or Amazon gift card wasn’t for anything other diapers and the babies needs??
I’m honestly so annoyed picturing this loser be so selfish.
Ditch the loser honey. Take the loss of the gift cards and know that you dodged a bullet.
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So sorry you’re in this situation but I agree with you 100%. Those gift cards were given to him because he’s having a baby with YOU. Therefore all of the gift cards should be spent on the baby or something you both agree to.
Unbelievable! And you still live with this selfish person??? There is no way I would tolerate such nonsense. It sounds your husband’s boss is a kind man….maybe he needs to teach your husband to be the same! Your post hurts my heart….
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You seem far too concerned about half this and that when you’re about to have a whole new life to manage
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I can’t believe this post!!! Who is selfish enough to take away from a newborn baby’s gift card. You better kick this jerk to the curb in a hurry.
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I think you should tell him to ask his boss what he intended, cause maybe hearing it from someone he clearly respects more than his partner will make obvious things obvious to him. Also, should definitely just trash the whole man.
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Sounds like someone I wouldn’t want to marry tbh . You’re giving birth to his child . You’re doing th work and will be doing all the work once baby is born for 6 weeks . You should get those cards for yourself and for ALL YALL ! Not one person in particular. I mean if he buys baby stuff or you stuff you need with them then sure . That’s what he should be doing anyways . Asking WHAT WILL YOU NEED . He sounds selfish and I’d be re thinking who I’m about to marry if he expects you to pay for bills while not getting paid while taking care of a newborn . My boyfriend MADE me not work while prego and wait 5 months or so until he would let me return because my pregnancy was horrible and he was worried about me and baby . Seems like he only cares about himself
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His still making you pay half the bills knowing you won’t have income , hmm that should be a red flag right there . No consideration at all for you or the baby smh 
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The only thing you need to see is his ass going over the hill for the last time. You and the kid will be fine.
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If you weren’t expecting a baby his boss would not have given him those cards so that in itself is the answer. Never heard of that way of thinking. No baby no gift cards.
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This is just a preview of the rest of your life with him…it’s up to you as to whether or not you want to deal with it
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Hmmm … you say you bought all the baby stuff but he paid you back for ½ of it. That means you didn’t actually buy all of it.
You said he has previous “marriages” and apparently had children from both. This means he does indeed also have a responsibility to his children from previous marriages. If he says he thinks he should use part of the gift cards on the previous children, then it wouldn’t actually be “just for him.”
However …. he wouldn’t let you look at the greeting card from his boss that was addressed to you both. Makes me wonder what the boss wrote that he doesn’t want you to see.
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I would think the cards were intended for Mom and baby and Dad to help them out with the first few weeks of coming home…not divided in half…marriage is a partnership…not an arrangement…room mates split the bills equally…in a patnership one carries the other til they are on their feet again…how does he plan to split the new baby…
She said his (previous marriages) How many times this guy been married? How many other kid’s? Guess that’s part of the problem with him staying married ( Selfishness). You need to get out of this mess take your baby and run
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Run for the hills girl! Those cards were for the baby and the family unit not for just him. This is probably not your first hint at how selfish he is. Definitely not marriage material. Probably why he isn’t still in the relationship with his other family.
Seems like your fiancé has some very unfavorable qualities. I hope maturity swings his way and he’s able to learn a thing or two. Best of luck to you and your baby 
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Think you have more than cards to think about …reevaluate this man. Your children deserve someone who cares about them.
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Just get out now. Just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you two are good together.
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You are marrying a boy, not a man…the result never changes statistically. Best wishes to you and your child!
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He sounds selfish. Baby gifts are meant to be used for items related to the baby- which can mean baby items, baby formula/breastfeeding supplies, diapers, clothing, formula, or even maternity or comfortable post Partums clothing for mom. Restaurant cards are meant to feed people living in the house during the immediate post partum period, when mom is recovering and adjusting to life with a baby. Or even possibly if mom is unable to shop/cook due to pregnancy related conditions. It’s basically for the baby at any time, and anything to do with the recovery/adjustment period.
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Ask him if he’d have gotten the gift cards if he wasn’t having a baby, and then re evaluate whether or not you wanna be with someone like that.
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I would contact his boss and explain this situation to him. Ask who he thinks should use his kind generous gifts ! And for some general advice on this turmoil. You are making his boss aware of how he acts & his lack of any kindness. Bet he gets treated differently at work now.
You both kinda sound selfish to me. You want all the gift cards he wants half. Also find a better job if they’re not paying you maternity leave. Get on unemployment or disability for your weeks not working. Dad doesn’t exactly sound like the most responsible guy spending the money on his other kids when he’s about to have another baby. Make him go buy some baby stuff.
Just a heads up…he’s probably going to expect you to be home with the baby while he works but then wont “babysit” while you work AND still expect you to pay half of the bills.
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If he is already saying “his family” and “your family” then thats a sign right there.
If yall are having a baby together than yall should desided how to use the giftcards together. Maybe try couples therapy.
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Don’t get married… Only you can decide if and when to leave him, but protect your ASSets, legally and literally…don’t marry. Definitely a childish narcissist…
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He clearly has one priority: Himself. Actually, here are his priorities in order: Himself, Work, Spending money on Himself, His first children, his Ex, You, Your new baby. He is showing you who he is and will always will be. You and you child and your efforts, hard work, care and want to be a partner in a relationship deserve far better than him. Get private financial advise, don’t share any info with him and make plans to leave and secure a better future. Otherwise he will teach your children this is how it’s supposed to be: and you as well for standing back and allowing it.
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Wow! I wonder why his previous relationships didn’t work?! Relationships are about two people working together, supporting each other and sharing everything. He sounds very selfish and controlling. Time to make some serious decisions about your future and whether you want to live your life as a doormat or an independent woman who looks after her children in a happy and loving environment. Good luck 
Wow… man child. Give him a voucher and tell him he can spend it on whatever he likes because you won’t be around anymore. Take the vouchers for baby and the baby stuff and run!
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He sounds like kid and needs to fucking grow up ! It’s about you, your health, wellbeing and your newborns. He would NOT have been given ANY cards if you didn’t have the baby. He needs to check his head. I hate to say, you’re in for a rude awakening ! His true colors are coming thru. Hopefully you two had a Healthy baby and those cards won’t have to be used for medication ! Count your blessings and tell him to get his priorities in check. The baby ( and baby’s needs should be first priority !)
Good luck with all your children. And congratulations on your baby.
I’m sorry to say, but it sounds like you may be having a baby with the wrong person and you should probably get out before marrying him. That doesn’t seem healthy at all. Hope things work out for you.
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Sounds like you already have a baby…you’re going to need more than cards with this guy in the future and he has other kids so he takes away from your child…lady you need to start making get away plans now…I know this isnt the time & you should be cherished but all the red flags that women ignore are there…Good luck sweetheart.
I see problems down the road if you dont get things in order now he gona walk all over you how can someone be so selfish and not take at least the baby into consideration deal with it quick
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You need to ditch this load, sooner rather than later. It is obvious that he had no clue what it means to be a partner much less a parent.
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Get out while you can, that’s not a relationship, to half everything. Very selfish of him. A gift is for both of you for the baby
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I’m with Nora. You asked so I will tell. He Sounds selfish. Not something you can fix.
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