The his and mine thing is what’s wrong with there relationship if you ask me obviously things can be just yours in a relationship but it seems like they don’t share anything except the baby 
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Sooooo. He helped make the baby…says he wants to marry you…but he doesn’t want ti help financially support said baby. He thinks he can take previous children abd spend what was clearly a baby gift and spend it on other kids and doesnt think he should support new baby when it come home.
If it were me and he did that he would be out the door.he clearly is not responsible. I would say if he cant help you in the beginning you can continue to do it alone.
My husband has received gift cards, as a gift to HIM, and he will always ask if there is something me or the kids need to use it for! I don’t expect him to, he’s just the type of person that would not enjoy a gift if he knew we could use it. I’m the same with him. My mom actually stopped giving us “general” gift cards as gifts because of this! LOL
As so many have said here, do NOT marry this guy. RUN! This is just a big red flag; a preview of what life would be like with him.
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i would thank his boss for his gift and let him know his employee will enjoy using them for himself, and i think i would find a new boyfriend. if your together everything should be together.
And this ladies and gentlemen is why you have “those big discussions” before you go and move in, get pregnant, engaged and or married! So many people jump into relationships for the sake of having one….not knowing anything about a person’s character or morals.
And while telling her to leave may be the obvious answer (I’m not sure counseling will help honestly), I’m sure it’s not that easy to pack up kids while pregnant or with a newborn…the OP will have to find her own solution. I don’t believe that he is going to read these posts and say “yeah I’m wrong” and if she did tell him about what everyone else said, she’s only setting herself for more conflict.
Girl, I would look to family, friends, women’s/children shelter!! Financial abuse is just one form of domestic abuse. And without knowing anything else about him, I’d also say there’s some narcissistic tendencies. THAT is something you will never “fix”!
Think of yourself and your children!
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Better get out of this relationship fast. If he is this selfish and self centered now, what do u think after I DO is said??? Run girl run!
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What’s very concerning to me is that you are writing about this on Facebook and asking other people for advice. You need to find yourself a different man because that is one selfish person
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Cut your losses. Leave now. Who needs the hassle of a selfish man. It sounds as if he didn’t want the baby in the first place.
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Dump his ass… he clearly doesn’t care about you or your new baby together… I know ut sounds harsh but it will only get worse and you will feel worse. Get out now before you are legally attached to him. So many red flags going off hun xx
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All I’m reading is “him” and “me” regarding every circumstance, Money and baby. If you are together and about to have a baby it should be “we”. You’ll be sharing a child soon and yet you cant even work out how to share gift cards.
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This is the beginning of the end , what was tolerable for you prebaby is causing red flags to go up . You know your worth and how you and your child deserve to be treated , theres a reason why someone else cut him loose despite having children with him
This doesn’t sound like a partnership it sounds like you’re already navigating co parenting but have to clean after him too
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The intention was definitely to have you use them when you first come home and maybe to go out together before or later. But they were not for him. He’s just not getting it. May be why the other children’s mother dumped him. Because he’s being silly trying to split them and not even evenly.
I mean does he plan to cook for y’all when you first get home? Is he planning to help so you can cook after you feel up to it? Is he planning to just buy the take out himself? Idk, and I guess if he’s the type to do that stuff he may not be thinking of it how you are.
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Sounds like a real winner you have on your hands:exploding_head:Totally selfish and I actually feel really bad for you momma. I’ve lived this life and it’s not fun. Good luck to you 
Okay, I’m an engaged woman. I have never split, asked to be paid back neither has he. It’s OUR bills and responsibilities so we utilize the money we work for as OURS. Anything we buy, WE bought it. I must be crazy 
guy sounds like a person who you shouldn’t be engaged to.
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Get out now . He is being selfish . Them cards are for the baby not him n his other half. N if ur the one that has bought the baby stuff all of it n half he paid isn’t enough. He is also the father . N u paying all the bills n he doesn’t that ain’t fair . To me u sound selfish to cause u are letting him do it . As for the cards he already has its long gone now I pack my bags n get out he don’t sound like a good father finger sorry that’s how I feel .
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He’s acting like a child. Those cards are for the baby and to help care for it and you afterwards. They are not solely his nor should be used on his previous children.
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I would get ahold of the person who gave him the cards and ask him and tell him the situation. Cause if that person knew what would happen when he gave the cards I highly doubt that he would have given them to him and not you
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Holding you from afar as you may reflect on this mans priorities, words and actions and if they align with your expectations for a respectful, caring, supportive partner. From personal experience you may have a life changing decision to make.
not to take away from him being a creep but just so you know cant you file for disability while on maternity leave or FMLA , at least you would be getting something in…this relationship doesn’t sound too promising…
I think I see a lot of red flags going into this adventure.
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Doesn’t sound like much of a partnership, for a couple that is engaged. Sounds like there are a lot of different issues beyond this. If it was a card of congratulations to you both on the upcoming birth of your child then they should be shared. But the whole his kids and family and your kids and family sounds like a hot mess. Also I can’t imagine not staying home with a new baby for 6 weeks or more, such important bonding time. You are lucky to be able to take that. I agree with Syndi so much wrong with this post.
Red BILLBOARD… Exit now. You’re going to end up paying for this baby all on your own. How is his child support payments going? Does he pay for all of his other children?
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He sounds like a baby himself " its mine its mine" even my 2 years old is charing things 1000% better than him.
He sounds immature a LOT.
But on the other things u are totally right and he is so wrong.
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Ok the gift card issue is petty and immature as fuck. Firstly, tell the overgrown child that the gift cards are for the family and to stop being a selfish piece of shit. If he won’t budge then either kick his ass out or put up with it and move on.
Secondly, women all over the world manage to have a baby and still cook their own food and don’t need to rely on delivery services. Get up and prep some freezer meals for when you really can’t be fucked cooking. I have 5 kids, 4 were csections and I still managed to feed everyone while recovering. Order your groceries online and have them delivered if you can’t make it to the supermarket.
And last of all, good luck to you raising a child with a selfish entitled pos. If I were you I’d be making sure to tuck some money away now while you can because he seems like the type that will up and leave if you expect him to take care of the family he’s helped create.
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POOR BABY! Hard to give it a “bright” future when 2 "dim"wits that created it. Put the baby in a stable environment when born, and go your separate ways. Do yourselves, the baby, and society a selfless favor!
Get out of that relationship he does not care at all been there it only gets worse and the fighting, arguing will never stop. Don’t waste your valuable time with that.
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Boss didn’t give him gift cards because he just thought he was a good employee… they were given to him because he was having a baby, because people like to try to help out people having a baby, thus the gift cards are meant to ease the difficulty of having a new baby like baby items, baby food, travel, food expenses for parents during birth and first few weeks, etc… not for homeboy to do whatever he wants with that doesn’t have anything to do with the baby. If I was the boss and found this out I’d be pretty upset.
Darling pack your stuff fast as you can and run…won’t be easy,but you will be fine…you can not stay with him!!!toxic and will get worst
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The part that killed me was the end where she says he expects her to still pay bills while on maternity leave. Bro you help! You can work. She gotta take care of the new baby. Why put more stress on her than needed
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He is wrong they are for the baby not him or his other children, he sounds selfish tell his boss l would
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You two had no business getting pregnant if this is how your relationship is but nobody wants to have that discussion
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There is so much wrong with this, I don’t know where to start 
firstly, figure out your boundaries because it sounds like you don’t have any with this guy. Financial support, physical and emotional support - what do you expect and is he meeting the expectation? I’m willing to bet the answer is no, do something about it then.
No way I would accept such a low self centered partner. It is obvious from now that he is not a dedicated future father. You will regret it later on.
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I have been married 53 years and I tell you right now he will never be any different. The best thing you can do is go to a court and get child support for your baby and tell the fiancé bye!
Good luck to you!!
If you can afford it - ditch him. Sounds like a loser. Cards are to buy baby supplies and if you received Restaurant cards they are for meals for you both when you come home from the hospital.
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There is zero advice anyone can give you that’s going to help you out here. He needs to change, but he doesn’t see a problem with his behaviour so he won’t. Trust me on this. He will never change. The question is, do you want to stick it out and potentially waste years of your life on someone who won’t ever change, or do you want to give yourself a shot at a life without him. It sounds like you’ve got the right headspace to be an awesome mum without him xxx
The question is more, who is his family now? Isn’t it you and the new baby? If he doesn’t think so, I would seriously consider breaking the engagement, but yes, check on your légal rights with your yet unborn baby. This is serious stuff to consider. Good luck, lady and make sure you take the right décision for you and your baby. Talk with some well informed people, in private about your issues.
I did notice you also said ‘he should give them to me…(to use for formula etc)’ rather than he should just use them for formula etc. It seems everything is a his and mine situation and I’m not sure that’s going to work with a baby. Sounds like a toxic situation all round
You 2 fighting over gift card.come on grow up you have a child on the way.be thankful you got the gift cards.worry about your relationship and come to common ground on everything.if not move on then maybe you 2 need to fix your relationship or split up…do what’s right for the baby
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Girl leave, I don’t know you but from what you just said he doesn’t care about you or your child, you don’t deserve that from him or anyone else, not as a mother or girlfriend, go and find better
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I wouldn’t be worried about the gift cards as much as I would be worried about y’alls relationship. He seems awfully selfish.
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This is so sad that a baby is being born into such a selfish relationship. The gift cards were given because you are having a baby. Buying baby thi gs are not a one shot deal. After they arrive everyday they need stuff. As a new mom everyday you need good nourishing food to eat on time. This man sounds like a beast and don’t deserve a family. Run, Run, as fast as you can. No amount of counciling can fix him.
That’s one reason you get married, then it is not yours or his but both. I read one person, say run, lady , run and they may be right. First thing to do is to talk about it. If he is still “greedy” then you need to seriously question the relationship.
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I would reconsider him being a fiancé at this point. It is already sounding like he has no intentions of making this a partnership in marriage. As sad as it seems.
Think very carefully before you say I do!!
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You’re in a lot of trouble. Bigger problems are headed your way and if can’t both act like adults you shouldn’t be having kids together.
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If he can’t carry you or the bills for a month and a half while you have and care for yalls child then he dont deserve to be daddy. I cant even touch on the other petty stuff. This is a disaster waiting to explode.
Sounds like a self-absorbed asshole…probably why he’s been married and divorced so many times. Please reconsider marrying him for you and the baby’s sake. If this is how he acts now, it will probably be even worse when the baby comes and you’re married
Sounds like more than one “baby” in this situation! Generally, self absorbed people do not change, only get worse! It is not really about “the cards”, it is about HIM!..and will continue to be so! And if you expect any help with the baby…think again! He will be too busy with his life, doing what HE wants, leaving you with all the responsibility! What you have here, is a “baby” in pants!
My man took in my daughter as his own he also has a child, if he ever got cards for both of us or baby we are having together he would give them to me and I would share with everyone. The baby is not born yet yes it doesn’t hurt to save up and get stuff beforehand but why not enjoy now for whatever, if your having a child you should be prepared already plus baby shower just ask for more girf cards and keep them for you and baby I wouldn’t sweat this situation unless it’s an everyday reaction from him for whatever. It really isn’t healthy you shouldn’t have to post asking for advice because it should be neutral. Also as a step parent myself it wouldn’t bother me him spending on them as well yall all family so if your not happy leave otherwise move on and don’t sweat it.
Hate to say it but sounds like you and bub would be better off without his sorry ass. He sounds like a self absorbed control freak and I don’t think things will get better after the baby is born.
I’ve got one word of advice… Run. You can do this much better without his immature ways holding you back
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Sounds like something you should have not had a baby with… pack your bags while he’s at work and just move on.
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I think if the cards were given to him because you have a new baby , that the money should be spent on the baby. Any dinner/resturant cards should be used by both of you together.
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Every card you got is to be spent on the baby stuff to make your life easier. Amazon gift cards are for baby stuff. The only way this guy should be spending the cards on himself is if you honestly can’t find what u want “for the baby” on line. The food cards are for you guys to share as a couple or just for mommy since your body is gonna be feeding the baby and is already doing all the work of developing it inside you. He seems like he’s not really in this one with you. You sound like a couple who has already been separated and preparing for a baby with joint custody. If at the very least you guys should spend the cards with each other on each-other as a family.
Understandable if he wants to share with the kids he has already, but to tell you that you don’t deserve more assistance when it has been handed to him is trash. He needs to realize that his life now includes taking care of the kid you both have together. While your baby is still in you that includes taking care of the both of you. Your kid can’t have a good life if you’re not okay.
I’m not a parent myself but that’s my opinion
He sounds toxic and self absorbed. Run while you can!
A family unit is just that and not a “me” it’s an “us”. If he wants to be selfish and spend it on HIMSELF, he can use that money to buy his own stuff to get out of your house. 
Find a man who sees your family as a family and not who sees himself as a single man.
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Wow sorry but your sacrificing 6 weeks pay when you bring your precious child into the world. Both seem rather selfish and not ready for how much a baby will turn your lives upside down. He does sound like a twat though.
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You have so much more shit going on in your relationships than these cards !!!
Girllllll these cards are the least of your worries!! And the way you speak of him in your relationship it sounds as if he’s an ex and y’all are just having a child together is that the case ??are you guys actually in a relationship??? because if you guys are in a relationship you guys have bigger issues
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Uh… It’s not just for him, or for his older kids, or your family…
It’s for you both to share for the 3 of you(you two and the baby), and hopefully make it easier-- as having a baby is very expensive!
Now it is important for him to financially support kids from previous relationship/marriage, these cards were intended for easing the financial strain that comes with having a new baby, and who does he think he needs to take out to dinner more than you??? Himself- or does he plan on taking his buddies or older kids out to eat?
Seems like you have priorities right, and he’s ONLY worried about himself. That’s horrible, and you 2 are not even married yet your not a priority to him or even the unborn baby?
Also your engaged, and you have to pay half of the bills even though you will be out of work unpaid-- because of having a baby with him? What a flaming hot red flag right there!
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When he pushes out a baby he can have the gift cards
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My ex husband was just like this. He tended to forget any sacrifices I made for our family when he was down on his luck and would be quick to remind me of all he did when I was. Never once did I ever tell him he had to pay me back a penny but he felt I did. I was afraid of breaking up our family so I stayed longer than I should have. But I didn’t want to set the precedent to our children that this behavior was okay. It’s totally your decision but you need to think about how your children will be impacted as well. Good luck to you.
He said he is going to use them for his previous children. It is from his job and he has more than 1 child. He wants to split it up between all his kids. You probably pay half the bills because he pays a chunk of his income to child support.
Don’t you marry him girl. If you live together, move out. Sorry… He’s selfish. His priorities don’t sound like they’re you & the baby. Sorry, it will probably get worse. They don’t change. Best not to waste your time with him.Good luck:pray:t2:
Definitely get your money problems straightened out before taking another step toward matrimony. It’s only going to get worse once you’re married. Maybe you should look around a little more. He really doesn’t sound like good husband or father material. Think about the baby in regards to him.
Hmm sounds like my ex. Anything given to me at the baby shower was his, the money in our daughters piggy bank was his when he needed cigarettes. There’s a reason he is an EX. If guys can’t see that’s meant for the baby not himself he needs to go away.
He seems pretty childish. The gift was addressed to both of you it should be split between both of you or used my together as a couple. If this would have been my man he would have just given all of the cards to me to use on the family and house. Especially if we had a baby on the way.
Sounds like you don’t even know each other. Just let him have them if that’s what he’s like. If you’re relying on gift cards to be able to support yourself and a kid then think about what you would do if you didn’t get them to begin with. Seems like two children are having a baby, definitely not responsible adults.
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Idk why people still pretend like they don’t know who they’re having a baby with and pretend to be shocked and make posts about their behavior afterwards. You ignored the warning signs and the previous marriage apparently so I’d say the cards are his by default considering he is exactly who he was labeled as before you let run in you raw. Just my humble opinion.
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I am confused. None of this sounds like a an engaged and invested couple; not from him nor from the OP. Seems there are bigger issues than gift cards. You guys need to talk relationship truth.
Sounds like his first wife got tired of this bully. Baby daddy needs to grow up and put you and new child first. If he can’t see this truth, he’s not a good partner and you need to end it and collect child support for 18 years.
It sounds like you need to get a lawyer to protect you and your under born child. If his is your husband to marry in the future; time get away for from him. It sounds like to me he just want someone to pay half of the bills. That is not a marriage to be. He should be stepping up to the plate and paying for everything. … I’m sorry this has happened to you but you don’t need him. As for the gifts, if your name are on the cards for the new baby. Than the baby stuff should be for the baby. If you decide to stay with him. …personally I leave.
That isn’t a man, that’s a child.
Leave him. Would be better off without him, you seem like you do everything anyway, would be easier without the man child around. Think of why his other marriages didn’t work… because of him no doubt.
I think he thinks of himself more then u or ur bby. If they want to be selfish it’s time u show them what selfish really looks like.
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Seems to me that you have discovered why his first marriage/s didn’t work for him.
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oh babe, If you guys are meant to be unit about this parenting thing. You need to be on the same page.
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What do you mean spend it on his other kids . A NO . And it’s time to get rid of him to
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This is over gift cards? Really? Someone blessed you with SIX gift cards and you argue about who gets what? Mom feels she needs them for when she’s home after delivery, dad feel he is entitled to them. No one mentions buying baby things or using them as a family! Both parents need to grow the heck up!!
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Do we need to tell you to run He has two kids from a previous relationship that in itself is a red flag. You have to ask yourself if this is the person that you want to have around you and the baby for the rest of your life.He is not going to change and suspect he has no love or respect for you.So do yourself a favor RUN RUN RUN AND DONT LOOK BACK. This is NOT LOVE
He sounds like a selfish fella. And one imo, that I’d no longer want to be engaged to. Showing you his true colors, in plain sight. Run.
Ian really sorry you find yourself in this situation. And also sorry for what I am about to write - I don’t think he is a keeper. His selfishness will bring you a lot of sadness and disappointment along the way. Please reconsider your options. x
Sounds pretty selfish and self centered…Remind him that the earth revolves around the sun, not him…
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Well you said you bought all baby stuff. But you never if he paid you back half… Plus the baby gift card should be for baby… However I do think if he has got kids from a previous they shouldn’t be left out… Your saying you should have them he saying he should have them… I think you need to sit and have a proper chat about your situation…
I gotta be honest. This gift card thing sounds like the least of your problems.
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The food is for you guys so you don’t have to cook. The other stuff is for baby related things. Be mindful that are things that new dads could use, but I’d say those cards are for baby.
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People needa chill… Simply the story of a boy becoming a man and learning (the hard way) he’s about to sacrifice a lot to keep his family happy, safe and together lol. The cards are definitely not “for him”.
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And now you can see why he has previous ‘marriages’, do you really think this marriage will be any different for him?
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Wow, His priorities are all messed up. The gift cards are for things you buy for the baby. As far as the restaurant gift cards those are for when after you have the baby and you can’t go out or staying up all night caring for the baby , etc…those are for you use as a couple not just you not just him. He has some growing up to do. I wish you luck. You are correct I’m feeling that you are right. However it should be viewed as you’re a couple not mine or his as he’s making it out to be.
“I will be home for six weeks and not able to go out much for food”?
Really?
How do you think women have managed all these years without home delivery supermarkets and just eat?
Sounds like you need to grow up!
Sounds like if he wants half of everything he should have carried the baby and went through labor…ugh…he is being extremely selfish…
Get a lawyer, break up with the fiance, and file for child support now because it’s going to be a long hard road to deal with a guy who won’t even turn over gift cards ment to buy stuff for a baby.
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It depends how much each card is for?. Why can’t he treat himself or his kids? You did state he gave you half of the gift cards and he has paid you back half of what you have spent on baby. He should not be expected to pay for everything while your off work, or pay everything for your baby. Its a mutual split. If your truly gonna struggle a lot, ask him for help and offer to pay him back.
He is self absorbed! The Cards are for the sake of the baby!What happens when the baby is here and it comes down to formula or beer and cigarettes for him. I don’t see a pleasant future for you and your child. Get out now.
If he was any sort of good man/ father he wouldn’t even think about keeping them. They would go straight to the baby. All the tit for tat of who’s paid for what will get worse in future. Honestly I’d get away now. If he’s like this now it’s only going to get worse when the baby gets older and costs more money x
Leave him NOW before it gets worse. This is probably not the first red flag. He is literally taking from his child right now… in order to what, buy new toys for himself?! Selfish!! He’s not even the one going through labor or carrying the baby to term. Judging by his attitude about the gift cards I’m going to assume he will also leave you to get up with the baby every night while he sleeps peacefully. When you have a baby that baby comes first. Put you and your baby first like you have been mama, and just leave. 
Take all the stuff you get from your friends and family and keep it for yourself based on the same logic. Seems like you need to find a man who is not so selfish and thoughtless.
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I think he sounds pretty childish. He needs to grow up and be responsible. There’s a reason his other relationships have failed. I think one of the other commenters is right, you maybe should run before he ruins more of your life, take the baby and as much as you can and run!
This sounds exactly like my ex husband. To the T. He would open cards addressed to me to see if I got money. He tried to hide money for our girls a couple times. Let me tell you, please reconsider marriage to him. At the end of it you will be so miserable and wish you never married him. Don’t put yourself through that.
I don’t get how you can’t go to the grocery store or cook just because you had the baby when you return home? Pre plan food, freeze meals, you don’t need to have meals delivered. Many women before you and currently can have a baby and go to the grocery store! 
