I said leve this toxic FIANCÉ and move on with your life PRONTO!!!
1 Like
Oh hell no! You still have a chance, RUN AWAY!
3 Likes
Counseling as a couple NOW!!!
1 Like
Girl get out get out right now clearly he has no respect for you in the mothering role that you have taken up for this child and could easily stem to your own child
3 Likes
It will never change and you will end up being blamed for EVERYTHING! I had a stepdaughter and was told if she needed discipline I was to wait until her father got home to do it, which one would be hours later. Didn’t make sense. It ended up blowing up in my face and I became the wicked step mom. She wants nothing to do with me because “I was mean to her”. It won’t end well. And if your husband doesn’t see you as a family and you are pregnant with his child, it might be time to think of a way out. Good luck
Rethink the relationship
1 Like
He is right, you need to know your place. Until you are married, you are not her stepmom. She doesn’t have to respect you discipling her just because you are shacking up with her father. Poor girl, having to adjust her life to her father’s whims.
1 Like
His child will always come before a girlfriend.
1 Like
Key words here “You will NEVER be a family” when he stated that, you had your answer. I say move on while you can.
9 Likes
Pack and bag and go. You have a family now. You and your baby. Not sure what putting you back in your place looks like but personally I don’t want you to find out. He has an obligation now to stand with you and parent as a whole, within reason. Disrespect should
Never be tolerated and it’s scary to think how far he would allow his daughter to go. Leave and if you want get couple therapy. But not while living together, sounds like it has the possibility to get unsafe for you and the unborn baby. Prayer to you
4 Likes
Wow. He’s really disrespectful to you and especially if you are there most of the time and not him. That would be a deal breaker for me. You are only trying to teach her rules not beat her.
3 Likes
. Seriously. Leave.
2 Likes
This is a big duh. Leave this shit and don’t look back
2 Likes
Well, looks like she’s got it honest. He’s taught her disrespect by disrespecting you. Get out while you still can.
4 Likes
He sounds like a real gem…
A lot of the time men truly don’t know how to discipline their daughters because all they know is violence. Also, a lot of the time men believe we should feel so lucky to have a man that they can disregard our feelings. This is a bit messy and I would suggest counseling. The Regain app is good and affordable. Until then, I’d pull back on some of what I bring to the relationship, especially caring for his daughter, since it has such low value
Leave now before it gets worse for you
Oh hell no,he is wrong very disrespectful, get out before is to late
2 Likes
He’s already let you know your place and it’s not a good place
3 Likes
Step parents shouldn’t even discipline in my opinion. If your not biologically the parent then you shouldn’t discipline.
if he cant teach her to respect you as his fiance partner wife or whatever then rethink your place in their life. Oh you are not her stepmom but he allows uou to cook and clean and care for her as if u were. So what gives? Sounds like a one sided fight you may never win.
leave, he is creating a narcissistic child. It will only get worse. He is soo wrong and has no respect for you.
4 Likes
Run run as fast as you can
2 Likes
Leave, it’s only going to get worse
2 Likes
In my opinion, I’d leave before he becomes one who would not only emotionally abuse you but would physically abuse you and your child. I wouldn’t trust this situation ever!!
Walk away before your own child is taught it is ok to disrespect you.
1 Like
If at this age she is already showing disrespect, imagine when she gets into the later teenage years!!
You’ve already talked to your fiancé & he opts to keep a clear boundary between you and his child, then you need to decide whether you can stand being left on the opposite side of that boundary for the rest of your relationship. You already know that “you’re not a family”, so why put yourself through any further emotional dissolution and heartbreak?!?! You now have your own child to raise and be strong for. Girlfriend, just see the invested time in this relationship as a loss and start anew—you and your baby deserve it!!!
1 Like
What will he class you as once the child is born?
He’s stated you’re not family that’s harsh & disrespectful. Seek counseling and if he isn’t willing or nothing changes at least you walk out with your head high knowing you gave it your all
Find the door… if he feels that way about you as a step mom, what will he do/think of you as the mom of the household??
This is NOT okay! This is a situation that will end very badly. There are so many red flags in just the few experiences you wrote about. You deserve better. Your child deserves better.
Get out before he starts to hurt you physically. He will with attitude like that. He is abusive emotionally. That is a scary situation to be in. Run far away
Let’s Remember people, we are only getting one side of a story. Advice? You’re NOT her mother! You’re NOT married! You don’t have a right ! I’d be damned if I let another woman say anything to mine! You’re obviously not wanted, so move along!
Kill her off in ur mind for a peaceful marriage It is what it is some basics can never change
Leave Now? He just wants a built-in babysitter and bed partner.
1 Like
Run, run like the wind…leave everything, run, run fast and far.
Go to counselling. All talk to a therapist. Sometimes their advise is best.
That’s just messed up. I would just start planning to pack up and go then. If we’re not a family then… why are you there? Is the child in you non existent? Because basically he just said your not even in a relationship. I swear I would have been like. “ oh please!! PLEASE put me in my place. I dare you! Put me in my place.” I would be throwing down from that comment alone.
I just wonder how many other ‘step moms’ the child has had? Looks like you are there just to cater to their needs. This guy clearly has no respect for women. Plus raising what will be a horrible woman later on. I would be gone… I can bet the childs mother has some scary stories to tell about him. Do you want your child to be like his child? That is what will happen if you stay. Good luck with it all.
Leave him. If you’re not her mother, then leave.
12 Likes
Uhm. I’d be taking my shit and saying screw you after a comment like that.
Don’t marry him. Cause that’s just gonna cause issues if you can’t discipline her like your own children. Based on his comment of he needs to put you in your place he CLEARLY doesn’t respect you.
24 Likes
Um really… yep, you need to roll up outta there!
7 Likes
Run. Don’t walk, run.
19 Likes
I would leave him, growing a baby in that environment would be toxic
11 Likes
No way would I tolerate that
3 Likes
You need to leave. And for him yo say your not a family.and you’re pregnant with his.goddman kid! You don’t need a man like that whatsoever
8 Likes
Oh my! Fine then don’t do anything as a parent and when he complains, you remind him of what he said…better yet, walk away!
6 Likes
He’d be taking care of her alone then!!
3 Likes
No wonder him and his ex aren’t together, you should be smart and leave too!
7 Likes
Oh HELL no. That comment would have me gone. Dont Marry that piece of shit. You deserve so much better, so does his daughter. That BOY obviously doesn’t respect women.
Leave him now run fast
4 Likes
There are so many things wrong with that but bottom line if he dose not respect you and think enough of you to be the adult authoritative figure then that child never will.
4 Likes
I would just quit being so nice. Kinda step back and let him do everything. He will realize how much you do and possibly apologize. I would not go above and beyond for either of them. I’d disciple her anyway and if he doesn’t like it let him be the only one who deals with her b.s.
2 Likes
Your fiancee sounds like a problem and you should back away carefully and then run and never look back.
His telling you that he should put you in your place is a red flag. Do not look the other way on that.
If he expects you to care for his daughter as a mother then he needs to treat you and respect you as her mother too. If you’re not a family and never will be then what are you doing? Sounds like a toxic abuse marriage waiting to happen. It’s hard being pregnant but it may be easier to walk away now than later. That is not ok at all. Not your stepdaughter’s behavior and not his. I hope you’re ready to hear the truth so you can find the strength to leave before it gets worse and harder to leave and you WILL regret it.
11 Likes
Wow wtf!!! I’d definitely be done with that relationship! That should be considered your child too so yes you should be allowed to discipline. That’s fine leave and let her walk all over him and then he will be sorry
1 Like
Well he couldnt of put it any clearer. By by bud
3 Likes
Also that “put you back in your place” comment sounds like hes wanting to hurt you. Please, honey, LEAVE!
7 Likes
No way in hell I’d stay with that. You can see where she gets her disrespect from. Run! Don’t walk.
2 Likes
Sounds like you need a new fiancé. 
And even though I believe discipline should be something that Mom and Dad do, he should be acknowledging your opinion since you are taking on a parent role. Also, you see y’all as a family, he doesn’t that’s a PROBLEM. And NEVER let someone “put you in your place”. LEAVE HIM SISSSS. DO NOT MARRY HIM.
23 Likes
Well that’s too bad but I don’t see it getting any better and if you’re not married and that’s the way he’s treating you I guess I would go along with the leave now it won’t get any better
3 Likes
Dont say nothing else to him or the child look for a Domestic Violence Shelter to move into from there you’ll get housing for you and your babies
2 Likes
Leave… his comments about only being a stepparent. Nope.
1 Like
Agree with Elaine Pitman
Please don’t bring a child up in that. And don’t marry him
1 Like
I wouldn’t marry someone who spoke to me that way. That behaviour from him is unacceptable 150%. Maybe stop parenting the child. Stop making “family” meals. Make dinner for just yourself, and I’d he says anything, remind him of what he said, then tell him to make his own for him and HIS child…since your not a family. Do not do her laundry, do not do his either. Your not a family, so they do their own. Literally just stop doing anything for then at all…see how he reacts.
Since your pregnant, I can see this behaviour getting worse. Make sure you have a “get out” plan. Keep working, save money, and make sure you dont become alienated from friends and family, because u will need them.is this relationship ends.
Councelling is needed. He needs to wake up.
15 Likes
Then you need to leave him. That is not acceptable to tell you that you will never be family.
1 Like
And you are gonna marry him ?
2 Likes
Wow. “Put you in your place”??
Gtfo of there now. Cut your losses. You may have exhausted a lot but it’s better to move on to better avenues and this dude is not
“the one” . No respect what so ever.
11 Likes
FUCK THAT.
Leave. Obviously he ain’t worth it.
No honey, if you’re helping raise his daughter you are family. You need to leave him he’s not going to change…
3 Likes
Omg girl. Seriously consider if this is the man you want to marry…people say things they dont mean out of anger but yikes
1 Like
Ur not a family? Oh no. That’s not a good situation at all. It’s time to leave. 
my husband claims my children and I claim his son. These are our children. That’s not a good environment at all.
2 Likes
Your place? Wow. Seems like he doesn’t appreciate what you feel for her. Bye!
1 Like
I’d definitely leave the moment he said y’all weren’t family
5 Likes
This isn’t even just about the stepdaughter. You two OBVIOUSLY parent differently, which you knew before you got pregnant. This is going to be an issue with your own kid as well when they’re born, so you’d better sit down early and come to an agreement on discipline with that one.
That said, you guys should split now. You’re not a family and you won’t ever work as one so you’re best off moving on with your life and searching for a partner you are on the same page with.
6 Likes
Girl, run. Been there, done that, get away from him. It’s only going to get worse. He will treat your baby different than your stepdaughter. It will cause bigger fights. Leave now before baby is born.
3 Likes
Really, he threatens to " put you in your place", but allows a 12 yr old to be disrespectful!! If you can’t see this is,a bigger problem than can be answered by advice!!
1 Like
Personally you two are only engaged not married therfor you are not her step mother. You have to look at from your fiances and his daughters point of view. You have only been together 2 short years therefor she was 10 at the time and you are no pregnant which she may feel some type of way about. It could be hurting her and she is being disrespectful because of it. But I also would not marry someone like that.
2 Likes
I’m sorry pregnant or not if a man said that to me I would wait till he was at work and pack my shit and leave
Erm I’d be telling him his place is without me and leaving. I have a stepson and I treat him exactly the same as my own whether its discipline or not and my husband 100% backs me. My step son is 17 now but even when he was 2 it was the same.
1 Like
Leave him. Since y’all can’t see eye to eye.
Rules of step— should have been decided long again between y’all.
1 Like
Oh fuck that. He’s an idiot.
Your place is out that door and somewhere else. It will only get worse
1 Like
Dont use being pregnant or finances or he could change as an excuse to stay. He’s made clear what he thinks about you and your “place”. If you stay in that environment then it’s your fault from there. There is help and show him his place and make him pay support but get away. He’s pure poison to you and your child.
5 Likes
I wouldn’t marry him. Technically you are not her step mom yet, but he has taken the wrong approach. If he is like this with her how is it going to be with your child.
1 Like
Avoid disaster and divorce now he is not the one for you. Let this relationship go. Real men don’t talk of putting women in their place. If you’re NEVER considered family what is the point of getting married? Far too many red flags…run, walk, fly as quickly as possible away from this fiasco in the making GOOD LUCK
4 Likes
She needs to respect both of you. Wow. So sorry you are going through this. Good luck
1 Like
Wtf, he showed his true colors. I’d be packing my shit and leaving!
Oh hell mf naw. Bye little boy. He’s gonna be mad when she’s pregnant in a couple of years and won’t have anyone to blame but himself. Save yourself while you can. Some people show us why it didn’t work with their previous partners. It isn’t going to get any better.
5 Likes
I would be gone if he doesn’t think your a family now you won’t be when the baby comes…
4 Likes
Nope, leave now and just be a single mom 
I would never raise my own child in a house where obviously you’re not respected or wanted.
3 Likes
Get the fuck outta there now. You can do better than that disrespectful cunt.
You are in a lose lose lose situation. You are going to lose them…she is going to lose the only person that cares enough to draw a line to help her become a better person…and he will lose you and the baby…and any woman that comes after you…because he is teaching his daughter this disrespect and she will be able to get rid of any woman he is with in the future… unless he changes… your relationship is doomed…and he isnt going to change.
4 Likes
Take it from someone who raised two step children with full custody. If you are not on the same page with each other you will be played against each other and your marriage will fall apart. And it will only get worse. We went to family counseling and everyone was willing. If he’s not willing walk now.
4 Likes
Run and run fast. It will never, ever get better and will continue to get worse. Been there and will never do it again
1 Like
The bigger issue is between you and your spouse. If you and him are not on the same page she will continue to act out and it will only getting harder and worse for you. I am in a private Step-Mom group that you could join if you would like to reach out to me. Sorry your going through this!
1 Like
It’s tough seeing i wouldn’t allow step daddy if my son had one to discipline him no way so i expect my son’s father to do the same don’t matter how long they have idk that’s just me of course he has to respect them and all i think maybe speak before living first since he is your baby’s father people always be quick to say leave but maybe it can be fix if this is your only problem it’s normal for him to be defensive over his daughter seems like mom isn’t involved tell him how you feel ask if he doesn’t see you ask part of the family why are you around then and why is he forming a family with you then tell him you want his daughter included too not just your own baby if not then you may have to leave or just stop taking care of his daughter see if that opens his eyes you do what you do for her because you love her and care for her not because you have to
You need a new fiancé. I’m a stepmom and both myself and my step daughters step dad are treated equally as parents in the two houses. Generally, parents with children would expect and appreciate when their new spouse treated and loved the child like their own. If my husband had ever said something like that to me, we wouldn’t be married. If your fiancé doesn’t consider you a family then he clearly doesn’t value you as an equal partner and spouse. I think it’s safe to say that “your place” is NOT with him. Leave before it’s too late. Calling off a wedding is much easier than getting a divorce. Good luck.
7 Likes
Throw the whole man away. That last line… Nope
3 Likes
Ummm why r u still with him. Leave that jerk
1 Like