Seriously?? Why would you involve a kid in the proposal?
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Baby mama is just petty af
Go about your personal businessâŚ.You donât have to discuss your personal relationship with anyone other then the person youâre involved with. As far as custody threats go. The courts frown upon any parent withholding any sorts of visitation.
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If your Boyfriend calls off engagement you should walk away. Yes the other child should be included but itâs not that bid a deal to call off the engagement. His ex should not be able to call the shots
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I think an apology (which I am sure you have already done) to his child is fair but consider this as a huge lesson to having a blended family. Kids hear and see things while internalizing everything. Maybe have him do a proposal with his child included or the main stage. Do jot remind the child of the effort put in to including them, EVER. Itâs like a backhanded gesture. Keep this lesson in mind for life and consider him as your own. There will be some extra effort on your part, but the child is worth it.
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If he has legal visitation she canât withhold it Shea being bitter because new pictures can always be taken 
my son nor my bonus daughter were excluded in my engagement (I didnât take pictures) but my daughter was (shes the youngest). My kids donât care at all
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Sheâs bitter and pathetic
Honestly, I feel like she would have complained either way. Darn if you do, Darn if you donât. Just enjoy your new journey. 
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Redo proposal picture ! 
As a step mother myself with a close relationship to my coparenting mom, I can see how her feelings are hurt. And they are probably hurt for her child. He may see the photos and wonder why heâs not in them but yours is, and why you didnât wait until it was his weekend (I donât know the circumstance) I always try to be mindful of what I include my step son in especially if my biological child is involved.
HOWEVER threatening to withhold visitation about it is completely unacceptable and seems to be a very bitter and immature response. Instead of doing this she should have just voiced her feelings and let you respond hopefully apologizing and explaining it wasnât malicious. Sounds like a toxic emotional response to being hurt from her.
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I always include my 5 bonus boys if my kiddos are included. Sooo I may not be the person to ask. I would definitely be upset if i was in the momâs position. I wouldnât with hold visitation or demand u to call off your engagement, but i would definitely be upset.
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I would have chose a time when he was with you. She shouldnât ask you to call it off but down the road his son may feel hurt not being included.
Take another picture when heâs with you and post it with some kind of saying like youâre all going to be one family since he said yes to your proposal
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Then sheâd still have threatened him because you posted a picture that included her child on Facebook⌠No matter what you do/did sheâll still try to find fault in the matter. Obviously he will be part of the big day.
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Come on is she gonna run your whole relasionship if hes listening to her you might wanna think twice about marrying this man child
How old is her son? My husband and I moved in together, ( ex refused to sign papers for a divorce), had a child, got married and did not consult any of our teenage/ adult children. Some were living with us, one was in college (which we helped pay for)(we paid the ex child support) and yes, there was some drama but nothing like there would have been if sheâd found before we got married.
Apologies and doing a kind gesture is enough
Sheâs being bitter.
Regardless of how it made her feel or if she felt like you could have done more to involve her child, it is not an excuse to withhold visitation.
Sheâs trying to control everyone cause it upset her. And there is a good chance itâs more about you getting engaged at all then it is that your plans just happened to fall when her child couldnât be there.
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She sounds bitter also is visitation though the courts ? Because if so she can not withold it over something like that i would also not call it off if u do her pettyness will get worse because she will know yiu guys will do what she wants
Most kids donât unless the parents mention it or make a big thing about it
You definitely are wrong for not including the other child. I think that it is reasonable for her to call you out on it because this is often how issues start with blended families, but I think itâs ludicrous that sheâs demanding you call it off and that sheâs threatening withholding visitation. So while I do think she was right to call you out about it, it seems like maybe sheâs using this as an opportunity to let her petty flag fly.
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You proposed? If you really loved his son like your own than you would of waited one more week to ask him until both kids were there or whenever you had both kids with you. The ex definitely doesnât have a right to hold the kid from his father but thatâs nice of her to look out for the child and actually wants him included. My husband would of really thought I was desperate proposing to him and probably would of been embarrassed.
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I just got engaged in Key West on 7/2. We didnât have any of our children with us. We have 4 kids between us- 2 each. It was a romantic getaway. I donât understand why a child would need to be involved in a proposal, especially if the child isnât yours together⌠She doesnât get to decide how and when YOU get engaged.
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I donât know how you think through all that and leave the bonus baby out but I would just redo it.
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Shes definitely bitter and hella petty, hence why she is using visitation as a weapon. However you most definitely should have involved both kids or neither, it was really insensitive to your bonus son to not involve him when ur son was, surely you could have waited till it was his weekend to visit.
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I think you are very wrong you should have waited until the week that his child came to your home after all your child is always with you so you need to take another picture of both children in with you and your future husband
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Iâd be upset that my child wasnât included. Itâs a really special moment in your life, and his dadâs life and youâre officially becoming his step parents and he should have been included.
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You could do it again so he is included on it when he is there.
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Youâre not in the wrong. She can chill out. If they have gone to court for custody and he has visitation rights she cannot withhold the child. If not, lawyer up and start fighting back cause she just sounds mad that she canât hold him down.
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I donât think youâd be in the wrong had you not included your child. Since your child was included itâs only fair that his child be included also. The kids probably donât really care but it does look bad outwardly. I do think sheâs going too far with threatening visitations but she has a right to be upset. Donât know that Iâd call off the engagement though
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The only way it will hurt his feelings is if she is in his ear about it telling him he wasnât included and how hurt he should be, carry on.
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No youâre not in the wrong here. You didnât intentionally plan to do this specifically without him. And Iâm sure he will part of the wedding which is whatâs important anyway. Kids arenât included in every proposal. And they donât have to be. That was your moment and if it happened to be on a weekend he was at Momâs, oh well. I would definitely apologize, which Iâm sure you have, and maybe do something fun/special to celebrate with him when heâs with you guys next. Make sure he knows his part in the wedding so heâs excited and has something to look forward to and feel included in. Itâs no reason to call off a wedding. It was basically a little misunderstanding that baby mama is blowing out of proportion.
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I feel you shouldâve included her child if yours was but I do not think it warrants her withholding parenting time because of it. Thatâs not her place nor did his father have anything to do with the planning. We all make mistakes but I would definitely try to do something special with his son so he feels included too.
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I would be upset if it were my child not being included. U made sure urs was there. Bonus baby is the same. We do everything as a family
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Shes 100% being bitter and using the child as a pawn. Send those messages to your lawyer.
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I personally wouldnât care if my son or daughter wasnt included but I also feel sorry for any women who want marry either of their dads.
Or next time take pictures when he is not there and take when he is there then post both on one post. Then she canât complain and he is involved.
I wouldnât say you were wrong, maybe a little thoughtless, Iâm sure he would have loved to have been involved 
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You should talk to her one on one like grown women 
Iâm sure itâs something that could be easily figured out. Itâs not up to her to call shots in your relationship at all and she needs to stay in her lane. Congrats 
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The amount of women agreeing with the baby moms actions is honestly sad lol she is 10000% being bitter!
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Or even Better how would you like it if he puts his son in the wedding party and not yours? You need to grow up and stop being selfish! Shame on you
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Do you. She is bitter
We all make mistakes, just take another photo. There is no way a court will allow that kind of behavior from the ex. She canât punish children or their parents bc sheâs mad.
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No need to include a child for a proposal IMO. The child included in the marriage ceremony, then yes. She seems controlling. How dare her think sheâs entitled to think she has the right to tell yâall when and when not to propose. Let her make her threats and do what she has to do. Bring it up in court how she blackmailed you. Donât stress over it. Sheâs bitter. And anybody else telling you that your wrong is immature, imo. Sorry but nobody should black mail people to please themselves. Thatâll be a story from hell how you proposed and did it all on her terms. Shit have her plan your wedding if sheâs that involved. Lmao
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hold up ,some women can be so damn bitter. And if she added the child different story look we have court and if she keeps playing around yâall will marry and take the kid away and she will get visitation 
.
I think both of you are in the wrong. You should have thought about him. After all you want to be his step parent right? You obviously didnât forget your child so the favoritism is showing all ready.
And she had no right to tell you to call off the engagement or keep his son from him.
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Would you have done it that weekend if your child was with their other parent? If not, yes you ARE wrong. If you think of the child like your own like you say, you should have included the child like you did your own. Donât plan on your marriage working out if youâre going to âaccidentallyâ skip his kid out of eventsâŚ
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She can get over it! Her using their son against him over this is childish and selfish. She needs to reevaluate her priorities. You did nothing wrong
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Omg sound like a bitter baby momma
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Wow!
You guys are a trip ! (And a half)
My badâŚI read this too fast. Should have just put a pic up with just the two of you. I understand BMâs point of view but to hold visitation and say to call off the wedding is absurd. She needs to stay out of your relationship status.
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Thoughtless. If youâre marrying that man, that is YOUR child too now. Should have waited a week and you wouldnât have an issue.
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The comments saying she was wrong are insane. She did an adult thing and posted about it. Her child was there so he was in the picture, they can always update the picture but the child or his mothers approval are not required.
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Yeah jokes on her. She canât withhold visitation lol. And if youâd of included the kid sheâd still be mad. So donât even think or react to that. Ignore and let her talk to herself
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I mean I get sheâs upset for her child. But I wouldnât have asked for it to be called off. A simple fix would be to have engagement photos done with all of you. My husband proposed to me without his son there⌠I donât think there was any ill will behind your decision.
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The ex is wrong none of her business, your boyfriend needs a good lawyer.
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Offer to include him in any extra engagement photos and the wedding let her know it wasnât an intentional exclusion and that you will not call it off because she said so but you are happy to include your step son in any and all activities
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She legally cannot âwithhold visitation â LOL sheâs a bitter cunt. Tell her to get over herself 
Itâs the "I proposed to my boyfriend " for me 
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Donât listen to someone like that she obviously is jealous of you. I would ignore her
Sheâs a BBM BITTER BABY MAMA! she canât stop visitation if itâs court ordered. Sheâll look like a psycho!
Kids donât care about engagements and stuff. This is petty
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She needs to grow up.She sounds so bitter.Iâd tell her right were to stick it.
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If you loved him like your own (like the one present at proposal) he wouldâve never been excluded 
âŚ
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Well let me ask you this⌠If your child was with their other parent would you have still chosen to propose that particular weekend? If not then youre wrong as fuck for doing it when his child was with the other parent⌠If your child being gone would have no matter on you doing it then so be it⌠And yes she is wrong for hurting her child by keeping him away from dad just cause of thisâŚ
Bitter baby momma and alot of people apparently itâs you and your fiance thatâs evolved you donât live to please her. That will just make more issues
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Ex is bitter and you can actually nail her in court for the threat of withholding visitations because thatâs not up to her thatâs up to the courts and if sheâs not following a visitation agreement through the court you could end up with custody donât let her shake your happiness and also when you have your proper engagement photos done include him in them
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No I think 
you might have
Well it shouldnât matter whos day it is for a big event she skipped have allowed yall to have him for the day unless she had something planed but she sounds bitter so she wouldnât have allowed that
If other kid sees and feels bad ya could be a problem!!! If you were making it a family picture otherwise it would have been just you n him
I think u were wrong. U planned that for a weekend that his son was not there. But his bm is petty for even asking u to call off anything. But u started it with the pettiness. And what u doing proposing anyway?
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As a step child, I would (and have been) hurt at things like this. Forget the baby mama, your child is present in pics, his child is not. Not cool. Had you posted pics of just you both, then hurt feelings could be ignored. You donât get to leave kids out and play the victim.
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Sheâs in the wrong. Not you. You can choose what you want to do its your life!
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Nah she just wants to be in control or doesnât want him moving on. Take her to court if she withholds visitation. What a petty thing to say lol
Iâm pretty sure thatâs not a reason to withhold visitation if itâs court ordered then she canât say anything. Theyâll laugh at her and if itâs not ordered he probably could take her for that since itâs a petty reason and itâs just cause it bothers her
Eww sheâs miserable as hell
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Kids donât give a fuck about engagements or weddings let alone being in pictures part growing up in a split household means not every single event will include every child thats a part of life baby mama needs to mind her own relationship I could give 2 fucks about whether my son or daughter was included in my exs stuff cus at the end of the day they will be fine and be happy there dad is happy
Post another picture with both kids in it!!! She will find something else to fuss about! She must still want her ex!!! Sheâs going to be trouble, if you marry her ex!! Is it strange he didnât ask you to marry him?
Tell her to mind her own business. And keep anything she sent stating she would withhold visitation so you can use it in court if she really is a dick about it
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Oh wow. She can take a flying leap!!!
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Kids donât care about being included in engagements lol
Just make sure you include the kid in the wedding
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Actually she can not withhold visitation. Been there and dealing with it now. If she tries it take her to court for contempt of court order visitation. Just have proof she said it
Sheâs trying to control the situation. Any judge should laugh at her if she denies visits over this. Please tell me his visits are protected by the court. If not, get on that. possession is 9 tenths of the law without a court document.
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First off Iâm assuming you have our kids full time ( no dad visits)if not then why didnât you wait for his son to be with you too 2) KIDS NOT PAWNS if she holds visitation take her to court ,document every time she dont let him go to his dadâs⌠she sounds bitter and wants to control her ex ⌠but if he has court appointed visitation he has her in contempt if she does not let him see his son
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Was it a spur of the moment proposal or was it planned? If it was planned you should have planned it on a weekend you knew his son would be with you guys (if you love him like your own as you said). If it was spur of the moment baby mama needs to take a chill pill.
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Why did you not include his son? I could understand not including him if your son was not included
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Okay, well I can see both points of view. But donât automatically jump to baby Mamaâs fault. Maybe your fianceeâs child said he felt not included or felt bad because he wasnât there to be included in this event. And he said something to his mom about it and mama bear came out because the child was hurt. Although, itâs not her business maybe the child brought it up. Im assuming your fianceeâs gets his child every other weekend. So, Iâm just confused on why you couldnât of done this the weekend before or the weekend after to make sure all kids are included. To me, this sounds like you intentionally did this when the other child wasnât there and you only wanted your child in this event. You can say you love his child like your own all you want but words donât really matter, actions do. And by your own actions you did it when only your child is present knowing it couldâve been done when both were there. Maybe Iâm wrong, but thatâs what it looks like to me. Good luck.
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No youâre not wrong. Had he been there and you didnât have him in the picture that would not be right. But since he was not there NO you were not.
She has to understand you all now have a life without him as well as with him. If you buy youâre child ice cream do you drive to her house to give him oneâŚNo u donât. So life goes on. Sounds like sheâs jelous, and mean spirited
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â˘If I felt like my child was already being treated like they werenât as important as yours, I would do whatever I could to make sure that you know that type of behavior isnât aloud. Js.
â˘Itâs weird that YOU proposed.
â˘Are you gonna exclude your soon-to-be stepson from every other important event that takes place outside of your weekend?
Shes insane and cannot legally withhold visitations
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I see both sides but she would most likely be bitter either way. If you had included the bonus child she would be upset she didnât know. I do think I would have included the bonus child since youâll all be family but like I said she would have been bitter either way and sheâs using that child as a pawn and thatâs very sad 
only hurting the child by refusing visitation. hope things get better for all of you.
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She canât withhold visitation because yâall are getting married. Thatâs called being petty. Tell her to get over it!
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Youâre wrong. Kids absolutely care and if your child was included then you absolutely shouldâve included his. Iâd say redo it. Plan a special date to have them all involved.
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First red flag is you proposed. Second is that you called her his ex baby mom. Sorry to telll you but there is no such thing 
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The actual proposal is non of her business. There is nothing wrong w what u did. Most proposals donât include children. The wedding does. Just like u wouldnât take ur children on the honeymoon. Sheâs mad bc yâall getting married. Think of all the proposal videos u see on FB most of them do not include kids. Sheâs mad heâs getting married. I wouldnât tell her anything from now on. So when u do have the wedding she canât withhold the child from the wedding. A proposal is btwn two ppl. Many things can go wrong . What of the person says no and then after thereâs this big emotional argument. Kids donât need to be there for that.
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Baby momma sounds bitter.
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Some of yâall sound just as salty as his x. There is time for photos later you donât have to do anything other than what makes you happy.
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My husband didnât Include my son and he didnât include his kids. It was a moment between he and I and no one else. 
Legally she cannot without his visitation. Sheâs just a bitter woman. Jealousy is a bitch sometimes.
Families should be inclusive not exclusive. You 100% should apologize to the children and include them
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Sheâs overreacting and you shouldâve considered proposing at a time when his child could be included too. I know itâs about TPO, the right moment and everything but you have definitely planned for how to propose beforehand, and the fact that you didnât bother considering a time in which your step-child could be included along with your child is proof that you donât love him like your own.
Keep documentation of said exchange
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