i listened to “the whole brain child” and “raising good humans” on audible & found them very helpful. 2 others are “how to talk so kids will listen” & “123Magic.” I listed in the order that they helped me. 123Magic is mostly about the way to use & enforce time outs effectively. good luck!
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I know i hate when people TELL me what to do. Or ask me to do something when I’m in the middle of something i enjoy. I think as adults we sometimes forget kids are just mini humans with the same sized emotions and reactions. Instead of telling them to do a task make it fun. I have a cool set up for my kids . they have light up toothbrushes or characters on them. I always let them know what we’re doing in advance. “We’re gonna brush our teeth and then you can play with your toys once we finish.” Gives them something to look forward to. For meals if you congratulate them when they eat or hawk them to eat they definitely give push back and use it as a bargaining chip. For getting dresses i pull outtwo outfits (yes i do it everyyyyy dayyy😭) and ask my daughter which one she wants instead of telling her “get dressed.” And it feels to her like she had a say so. She picks her outfit and gets dressed. I had attitude problems with my first when she was 6-7 yrs old. There were lots of tears on both ends so I know the struggle. I’m sending hugs. Follow big little feelings on IG (if you have one) its very helpful. Kids are still learning to process emotions and reactions. If we lose our cool and get frustrated when they arent listening they will definitely mimic that reaction for future things. My favorite thing I’ve heard before is “an escalated adult cannot de escalate an escalated child.” I have to repeat it to myself on a daily. Lol. Good luck.
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Try the bargaining method. Ask her whether she prefers this or that… Whether she can do this now or later… Whether she thinks she’s being a good person when she ignores her duties or not… It puts the responsibility on her shoulders and “forces” her to keep her word
My youngest daughter is in this phase right now. When I find myself yelling more than I like. I tell her mommy needs a time out. I walk away and within minutes she is doing whatever I asked to begin with. She apologizes and we move on. I also have tried taking a breath and getting to her eye level to calmly ask what the issue is. I have also taken her favorite toys or screen time if she is just unwilling to talk calmly
For me my 3 yrs old started doing that so I know she doesn’t like to be away from everyone she wants people to see her fits and give her attention so now oh you can’t behave go to your room which only has her and her brothers bed come down when your ready to apologize and listen and it works if we’re out somewhere I will put her in the car turn it on and I’ll wait outside the car until she done it has worked so far
It’s your child so do what you feel you have to do. If you change your mind about spanking her, it’s not abuse…sometimes children need a good pop. If you truly don’t want to spank her, talk to her and find out what’s wrong, bc you don’t want the younger sibling thinking it’s ok and following her. Having two wild children would be absolutely draining. If the behavior isn’t stopped not, it may become worse the older she gets.
Sounds like my 6 year old daughter who loves to tell me she doesn’t have to do what I tell her and she doesn’t have to listen to me and will do whatever she wants to do. We have daily battles that end up with yelling. Her older brothers were tons easier to raise and no yelling with them. She is exhausting…
I am in the exact same situation. My 6 almost 7 year old is exactly like this. And I too react the same way you do. Following to hopefully get some help/ideas. Hugs mama. I KNOW how draining it is 
Little kids like to have control so my suggestion is to give her two options that you want her to do but she gets to pick between them. For example are you going to brush your teeth or are you going to put your pyjamas on first? That seems to make them feel like they have a choice rather than like they’re being bossed around. Usually I use this with younger toddlers but I think it sounds like it would work for her as well
My daughter is like this and one day i lost my marbles and was so frustrated I whispered to her pick up these damn toys and sit in time out. She looked at me wiped her tears and said yess mommy. I use to yell til I was blue in the face some days. Now if she acts up I whisper and she checks it. Hope it gets easier. Learning what works for your child can be a thankful thing. But once you find what worls things get easier. I got strict with structure as well.
Become her friend? It sounds like she’s viewing you as her enemy… you are the one stopping her fun and taking her choices. Give her back her choices and establish some consequences to those choices. Telling her no, don’t, or can’t isn’t helpful. Try using different words to encourage better choices. Maybe just start a conversation about why she’s acting out. Ask her things in lieu of telling her how it is. You are still on charge of course yet it’s key that she feels some power of her own. You got this, momma!
I have no advice because this is my daughter she acts exactly the same way it’s frustrating
At that age she is testing her boundaries, and she has learned she can ignore you until you yell. The next time you ask her to do something, and she doesn’t, tell her last chance to do whatever you had asked. When she doesn’t, walk into her room, and take her tablet, or tv, or whatever is her favorite thing. She is going to have a fit. This is the hard part. Tell her she has lost whatever it is until tomorrow. If she wants to continue having a fit, you can make it two days. If the fit continues, tell her now it’s 2 days, and get it together or she will lose something else. Follow through with that threat. Calmly take something else that she enjoys. She can do what you asked, or continue to be without her things. Give her a chance to pull it together. If not, tell her she can have 1 thing back if she does what you wanted. If she agrees, let her know that only happens this time. The next time she ignores you or throws a fit, you keep whatever until the next day. Your boundary has got to be established and consequences unpleasant . If you can’t get a handle on it, she will eventually stare at you and smile while you yell. There have to be consequences. There also should be rewards. The first time she does what you want with little to no resistance, tell her how happy that makes you. Because she cooperated, plan a walk, or hour at the park, or ice cream. Reward beats consequences every time.
I know the feeling and it’s a work in progress for me. Stoicism and therapy help me. So does being loving and understanding to both the kids and yourself. You will get through this stage.
I think it’s awesome that you are looking for solutions to the yelling. Way you go. You should be proud of yourself. 
The most effective way I’ve dealt with this type of behavior is requiring a task be complete to earn something. If the task is not complete you follow through with the punishment. E.g if you get yourself dressed in the morning before 8 a.m then you will get to watch your favorite cartoons in the afternoon. Allowing her to be nice for an hour or so to get her way is teaching the child manipulation works. Doesn’t matter how big the tantrum is, it doesn’t matter if she’s nice nd trying to get her way. You follow through, doesn’t matter what she does to earn the cartoons during the day. If you fail to consistently follow through, you’ll always resort to yelling when a look will suffice.
I seen a parent do the prison method on there child idk if it worked but my mom use to do something similar and I’d say it helped. She took all my toys and left me with only books and coloring stuff and clothes. I also tried it on my step daughter which also seemed to change her tune.
I ask 3xs after the third time if it isn’t picked up it goes in the garbage. 3xs get dressed they don’t pick an off it out by then I do an physically put it on them. Basically we have a 3 strikes your done rule around here because I got sick of everything being a fight.
She’s testing you to see how much she can get away with. Whatever you do, don’t give in…Make her do the things you ask her to do and quit asking her more than twice and raising your voice,after the second request punish her in some way ,like taking away a favorite toy or less TV or computer time until she learns you’re not playing a game with her
Maybe make a chore chart of her duties. Once she brush her teeth and ready for the day, she can start breakfast. Pick up her toys, she can go outside and play? Just something of that sort?
Was having this issue with our son we started him in taekwando and it has been a game changer for us he has been going for 6 months now and he is a completely different child he is respectful and does things the first time he is asked (90%) of the time now with no arguments
Have you explained to her WHY you want her to do those things in addition to telling her to do them? If not, I’d consider it. Think of how you, as an adult, would feel if you were asked to do something, but didn’t know why it was so important, and no one told you. You may be more reluctant to do it as well. In working with children this age for many years, I have found that often a short, simple explanation as to WHY they’re being asked/told to do something can work wonders. And not just “because I said so,” either. “We need you to get dressed because we have to leave for school/dance/grandparents house, soon, and you can’t wear your pajamas there. You need to eat your food because it will help your body to be healthy and grow strong. You have to brush your teeth, because if you don’t, they can start to hurt and need to be drilled or removed, which hurts even more. You need to pick up your toys so that they don’t get broken and no one trips or hurts themselves on them. Etc.
My friends had a daughter that did that at one time. They stripped everything from her room except for a mattress to sleep on. They even took the door off the hinges. You’d be surprised how fast she straightened out to earn things back. Hard core old school.
I dont feel bad for kids who dont get spanked or disciplined. They will eventually get older run their mouth off to the wrong person and get their ass handed to them.
As a kid i just did what I was told and expected to do because I learned at an early age its easier to cooperate with someone then to give them a reason to get upset and start yelling. Some kids just automatically know what is disrespectful and what they can get away with because their parents let them walk all over them. Teach them young not to walk all over you and they wont end up adults getting walked on by someone else.
It sounds as if a lot of you are being the child and you’re allow ing the child to be the adult. The child will do what I asked regardless of his or her attitude. You have to be firm with most kids nowadays. I refuse to keep asking or telling a stubborn child what’s required of him or her. You’ll do it or else. Helllllllll to the nawwwww, naw, naw.
My kids know better. I use to ask nicely, and never yell. Then the yelling didn’t work. So I started to not say a word. I will ask you 2 times nicely to do what is being asked. If I have to ask again, forget about it. Everything, and I mean everything except their bedding get bagged up and put away. Their behavior depends on for how long. It’s at least for the day. When they have nothing to do except stare at blank walls and contemplate why they have nothing besides a bed and the clothes on their backs, they attitudes improve greatly. I never give it back before 24 hours because anyone can act like they are behaving til they get what they want back. I have very well adjusted and behaved kids who know what’s expected of them. They are now 17, 13, & 12. Happy kids who know how to act.
My 4 almost 5 granddaughter is this way… More so when her pawpaw is home. Be consistent with how you handle it. Also watch others she around and see if that is where she’s picking it up. I also turn the table and act the same way back to my granddaughter and it helped
For some reason when I would say “it’s time to” or “now we are going to” in a happy way. Don’t give the option//don’t ask her to do it. Say it’s time to brush teeth or now next step is getting dressed. Doesn’t have to be mean/stern, just say this is what we are doing. Worked wonders for my child
Im sorry but if I were in your shoes a swift dusting on the bottom sounds like it might do a whole lot of good. First of all NO I’M NOT SAYING BEATING THE CHILD ! but you need something to get her off her high horse and get her attention. A swat will not only get her attention but let her know you mean business. Especially if she has never had it before. You need to stop that kind of attitude now before she gets it inbeded in her that, that is the way to act. I know I am going to get a lot of blow back on this, but I am just saying a slight smack, enough to get her attention, enough to hurt her feelings but not to physically hurt her. I got it when I was a kid and I knew I had better do what was asked of me or well I did not want to let Mom or Dad down. Thats just my opinion Good Luck.
I’m going through the same thing with my 7 year old. Then I have a one year old I really don’t want her mocking the bad habits
I would ask her once to do things like eat her food or pick up her things.
If she won’t pick up toys, ask her nicely one more time, if she still won’t - get a plastic bag, pick them up yourself and walk them outside and hide them and let her know that from now on, if she isn’t going to pick them up, you’re going to help her by putting them in the bin so she never has to clean it up again.
With her food, same again, ask her nicely twice, if she won’t eat it, take it away and tell her then that’s fine, she doesn’t have to eat but there’s nothing else.
Big difference between abuse and spanking ! Swat on the butt never hurt anyone . Gets their attention and now this is what we are gonna do !!! Set boundaries and stick with it. You don’t have to be the best friend all the time .
No rude comments needed Thank you
Try to find the reason for the behavior. You may have to sit down and just talk about it!
Maybe try doing these things with her
Positive rewards and be consistent. If it’s ice cream on Friday and she gives you hell on Thursday, no ice cream. When she does earn it she’ll be so proud of herself.
They say stay on a strict schedule for things. So make it a thing at 6pm put things away. Then brush teeth. Read and go to bed by 7pm or something
Maybe offer to help her sometimes. That helped when my kids were little.
Are you certain you have her full attention before the ask? With our middle, we have to be in close eye contact, say his name, wait for a response, then ask, be specific about NOW, then tell him to do the first step. Eg; (name) you need to put your shoes on to leave. Ok? Sit down and pick up your shoe” then wait close by while they do task or begin to and (get distracted) stop, then redirecting.
Sometimes it’s a matter of control. I imagine how we would feel if somebody told us all the time what we had to do. Perhaps give her a choice. Would you like to do “a” in the next 5 minutes or “b” .
Okay here is how you fix this starting now you tell her once if she no do you take her by the hand and make her from now on until she just does
No offense but. 1. Don’t ask. You can be nice and still make it a directive. 2. Repeat but give a choice, do ask “requested” or resulting punishment. 3. Punishment. 4. Repeat. I know it’s old school, but this is why we didn’t give my mom attitude.
A good Ole open hand spanking will do or if that isn’t in your choice grab a big garbage bag and make her thrown her own things in it set it to the side and when her attitude and behavior changes then give one item bck
Turn tv off. Take away a toy for each time of bad attitude.
Kids don’t like change frequently …need same routine…same schedule to regulate themselves…thats why summer is nightmare for us parents routine gets broken…its like hells kitchen somedays in summer…those programs summer camps are life saver .good luck…
When my kids start acting up the most with attitudes they are typically hungry for something we don’t have in the home, bored, or they want mine or my wife’s attention.
Hunger is the #1 cause of stupidity in my home lol.
My kids are the most destructive forces known to man when hungry.
Kids are human too right?
When you feel neglected by your partner, do you run and jump when they call on you to do something?
When your partner is sitting on their ass while you’re cleaning are you likely to be pleasant to them if they ask you a question?
The issue here is you feel disrespected from an authoritative perspective.(My kids better move when I say move.)
Do you run and jump when they ask for food?
Do you run to help them with their homework.
Do you drop your entertainment when they ask for help?
Do you play with them when they want time with you, or do you tell them to wait because you’re busy?
I hate to break it to you and many parents out here, but your kids literally are processing every thing you’re doing at the speed of light and solving problems in their head without you.
They are taking mental notes everytime you ask them to clean their room while your sitting on the sofa and you’ll get to the laundry after you made your 15th post on social media.
They’ve made a mental note that it took you 30 minutes to start making breakfast after they said they were hungry.
They took a mental note every time you canceled an activity because something came up.
This is the age where they start to become super egocentric as they start learning and finding SELF.
My 8 year old is just like this and we’re getting better with communicating.
They don’t see me doing 42 loads of laundry a week. They only know that their favorite pj’s were dirty for 2 extra days.
They don’t see me cooking 5 days a week 3x a day. They only see the food on the table most times, but now I make them sit with me during dinner time and learn how much time it takes to prepare and cook a meal as well as cleanup.
I have started making them do household chores to understand time-cost.
They still give me trouble but they’ve listened better now that they know why they can’t have everything they want on demand.
Take them grocery shopping and let them see the empty pizza roll/lunchable section.
Make them wash and fold their laundry, do their dishes, mop their floors, then make them pay attention to the TIME and ask them how long each task takes and make sure they know how many hours are in each day etc.
Firstly. You taught your kid how to treat you. You haven’t followed through and been consistent.
Yes… some kids can be extremely stubborn and feisty.
Too many adults want to be their kids’ friend and not a parent. They don’t want to seem mean. The grown ass adult world doesn’t care if it hurts their feelings.
You need to set up and stick to a strict schedule for them. You need a SERIOUS time out chair. You need to watch super nanny and learn HOW to change your tone when being serious with your child. Do you get on their level and give them the “im serious” face and tone? You do NOT have to yell but you bet your butt YOU have more work to do than your kid. You cannot negotiate with a child. You cannot say “pleeeeaaaaseeeee get up and do what I asked you to do and pick up your shoes and dirty socks! I’ll give you ice cream if you do! I’m serious!! I TOLD YOU to pick up your dirty socks!!! I’m going to count to three and if you don’t get up I’m going to put you in time out!!! I’m not kidding!! ONE!!! …………. Two!!! I’m serious you don’t want me to get to three!!! Two and a halfffff!!! I don’t know WHY YOU DONT DO WHAT YOU ARE TOLD!!!”
Consequences happen IMMEDIATELY! Make a chore chart. Write the rules and expectations.
Write the daily schedule out. Give little stickers for the chart once the activity/chore is done. If the WHOLE day they are behaved, thank them after they complete something “I appreciate you cleaning your mess up without being asked! I’m proud of you!” And leave it at that after a hug or high five. If they did good they get a half hour to forty five minutes of tablet time. Time out, you gotta learn from super nanny about that. It’s too detailed and people who haven’t watched super nanny do it and correct parents on the time out technique.
Will things get worse and someone may call you ugly names and say they hate you?? Yup!! That’s when you know you are doing it right because you are training out bad behaviors and encouraging good. They ALL say they hate you when you take something away. We don’t guilt children or bring up mistakes. They do the punishment and they apologize and you hug and move on. No one wants mistakes thrown in our faces and this behavior is NOT the child’s fault, it’s yours. You teach people how to treat you…. And look where you are…. Frustrated and upset. This is completely fixable!!
Now…. I don’t promote violence or spanking kids…. But let me tell you…… for some reason one of mine developed bad habits from someone that was watching them…… they started to get mad and HIT at me and kick. I had NO idea where this was happening… I was a young YOUNG mom. The day he SPIT at me I took his hand and turned him to the side and swatted his butt ONE solid time. His face was shocked more than hurt. And I told him sternly that we do NOT spit! And he was not allowed to kick mommy or mommy would kick him back (I proceeded to kick the trash can HARD and it made the loud sound I hoped for to show I kick harder than him, and NO I’d never kick him 
). Did it scare my kid? Probably!
If my kid developed a fear of a spanking …. Good! That means they KNOW the rules and what had happened when it happened. Is my child scarred for life? Nope. I had swatted them maybe three times. And I mean a swat, not some butt whooping with a belt or paddle and striking multiple times. There is a difference! A swat was a last resort for me and spitting is another level of assault and if a kid wants to hit others then it’s right they are corrected by any means necessary and I don’t want to hear anyone say it’s abuse, it’s not. I don’t want to hear it will scar a child… it won’t. If you aren’t swatting them daily and with some object and multiple swings… then it’s fine. Wanna think it embarrasses them and catches their attention… it DOES! Their first thought while doing something they KNOW is against the rules should be “my parents are going to KILL me if they catch me stealing/smoking/vandalizing”. Because if they break the known rules and shrug off the consequences then you better expect to have an older child who sneaks out, drinks, smokes, has sex and god knows what else. Don’t you EVER let them treat you like dirt. Don’t accept disrespect. Do what you need NOW or it will get a MILLION times worse
Watch some super nanny shows she shows you how to handle bad behaviors
Do a date day with each one…my daughter does this once a month and they can’t wait…lil things make a difference don’t have to spend any money …they do the park and make a picnic they go do crafts together …just them 2 …alone time with mama is what they love
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Im with you mama. My 4 year old has been doing the same with a bad sleeping pattern on top of it.
Im here for the comments because my 4 year old is the same way.
Spanking is not good for you, so how’s that working out
All i can say is with these comments, it’s no wonder kids are eating tide pods, and snorting condoms… using Tiktok challenges as an excuse to deface schools…
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You create a plan. Consequences appropriate for actions, and STICK TO IT. Always follow through. They will try to wear you down and once they realize if they cause a big enough fuss they’ll get away with it, it’s game over.
Example -
- today we are doing this, this and this before we play.
(Not asking, you are telling them what the plan is. At this point, asking sounds like it’ll get you a no. - Once we finish, we will do THIS (insert fun thing, coloring, reading a book together, ice cream, whatever)
- If tasks are completed, insert reward here (maybe create a sticker chart, something with a quick daily reward. Sometimes a weekly chart doesn’t always work for littles, they tend to do best with almost instant rewards lol)
- If she refuses, causes a fuss, do not do said fun thing & remove ALL electronics, friends, whatever she’s into for the day and maintain until said task is completed or effort is made.
- I’m sorry you don’t have XYZ, you will earn them back as soon as you complete ABC
Make sure you help if it’s a task that warrants help, otherwise it should be age appropriate if it’s a chore.
If it isn’t a chore and she refuses, stick to your guns and jump to consequences. Didn’t put your shoes on and made us late? Consequence.
Refuse to clean up your toys? Consequence.
Followed directions? CELEBRATE! woohoo! “Great job, wow that was wonderful” praise goes a long way.
She will eventually get tired of the consequences and you’re creating a responsible human they’re tough as nails sometimes, but it sounds like you want to make changes and you mean well so you’re on the right track! Just DO NOT GIVE IN.
You’re her mom, not her friend. Make sure she knows her place. Don’t be sad for being mean. It’s your job
You need to start spanking that child
Every behavior is her communicating a need to you.
Threaten to call bootcamp! Works every time.
Seriously… even get on your phone and pretend to call and say you need someone to come get her for a week at Bootcamp. 
Crack down on her and show her that you’re the mother and she’s the child. She’ll do as you ask of her whether she wants to or not. She’s testing your boundaries. Set them now, or good luck with her later. It also kinda sounds like she needs to get used to being told no. It’s not our job to be their friend. It’s our job to raise decent, respectful adults.
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big little feelings on instagram has a lot of great tips and tricks
Look at the aha parenting website. It’s currently what I’m trying. It’s a struggle but everything takes time.
Sounds likes she’s a teenager already!
Discipline. Try it sometime.
I’m going through the same thing
Spare the spank ,spoil the child.
My daughter used to act like that, I should have used the belt but didn’t then she turned into a teenager and was getting family violence charges and thinking she could do what she wanted. Find a method of discipline that works for her apparently “raising your voice” doesn’t help. Take away her favorite toys, electronics (if she has them) OR belt that bottom one good time may be all she needs.
Outdoor play, no screens, Barleans fish oil in Key lime pie flavor. 
I swear I could’ve wrote this myself.
My 5 year old daughter is the same. It’s draining. It’s exhausting. She keeps getting removed from school because of her outbursts and violent behavior and how she talks.
She has several appointments over the next couple weeks… hang in there.
I had this same problem with my youngest daughter. She was all attitude all the time. I had to pick my battles with her. Somethings like a messy bedroom had to be overlooked for more important battles like her being disrespectful and defiant will not be tolerated. She found out where she stood and she finally came around. So do not despair, she will grow out of it…eventually.
For those of y’all saying this is normal. No it’s not!!! You are the parent you do not have to ask nicely. You are not here to be her friend but her parent. If she doesn’t listen the first time you make her listen. U pick her up and make her listen. For those saying a spanking is abuse. No it’s not it’s discipline. In my house it’s a very last resort especially since my kids are older now. Kids like to test you and see what they can get away with and if you show them that they can get away with a lot before getting disciplined they will continue to do it. Consistency is a major factor in kids behavior. And sometimes all it takes is one good time to show them you are not playing and the behavior is changed.
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Practice the 1,2,3 method. 1 - say it. If negative things are said give no response to it. 2. Say it and motion what you want her to do. If negative things said or done give no response. 3. Say it and take the child to do it and hand over hand do it.
It’s what we were taught for behavioral issues with our daughter who has autism. Be consistent. It’s a lot of work. Especially the not responding part. But it works. Be super consistent. They will get used to you making sure what you say they do.
Get a foam flip flop and give her a mini wack when she’s bad. It won’t hurt and it’ll give her a sense of mommy means business. It’s a harmless way to show you won’t take it.
There’s another tack tick. Tell her you can’t won’t talk to her when she’s upset and walk away. She will eventually calm down enough to talk. Because she’s bad cus she wants to be heard. Giving her attention when she is throwing a tantrum is what she wants.
This is a Power Struggle Game for her. Every time you lose your cool, she wins. So stop playing the game. Sit her down and tell her it’s over. From now on…name your rules. When you tell her to do something, she says Yes Ma’am, and does it. No argument, no whining, no yelling. You are the parent. This is not a negotiation or a compromise. If she does not obey, and she will not obey you yet, get up, take her by the hand, and lead her to her room. No talking. She’s trying to get a rise out of you. Deny her that. She stay in her room until she apologizes and does what you asked her to do; all day if necessary. If she come out of her room, get up, take her by the hand, and walk her back to her room, no talking. Be prepared for a long day. If you want to break the cycle you helped create, you need to step up. Stop letting her rule the house.
I didn’t spank either and now I have the worst 9 yr old asshole on earth
That’s literally normal 5-6 yr olds. Just gonna have to wait it out!!! lol She’ll get there.
#usetherod👍or deal with attitude YOU allowed to get out of control. It’s on YOU not the kid.
Has she been evaluated for ODD
I have no advice. What works for one, won’t necessarily work for another.
But you are so far from alone in this. My 10yo daughter is a giant asshole!
(Who I love dearly 
)
This too, shall eventually pass.
May I recommend wine, straight from the bottle haha
In my day we got an old fashioned woop ass.ive never told my parents no.the kids today need an as wooping.thats why older generations respected there elders and we all turned out fine.we didnt beat our kids.but they got ass woopings.both are sons joined the military and have respect for the elderly and good manners.
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Maybe try giving her some control in what shes doing. Maybe she doesnt wanna get dressed because you picked out the outfit, ect… as well as Super praise her when she Does Something Good/Right. Not just yell when she doesn something wrong. I know when I was a kid I got super upset because my parents were very overly controlling about everything and it felt like I was always doing things wrong. It seemed like every second of over day either my parents or teachers were telling me what to do. I wasnt even allowed to pick out outfits until I was a teenager and my mother literally wouldn’t even allow me to wash my own hair until I was 16. She controlled Everything. It made me very angry and bitter
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I don’t understand why people don’t just pop these kids on the leg or bottom, 
, y’all are too easy on these children. That’s why you can’t get them to respect what you say.
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Spank that ass and sit her in her room with no tablets, TV, nothing for a looong time.
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As soon as she starts acting out; get on her level, look her in the eye and say “If you keep acting like this you’re going to be in trouble.” As soon as she acts up again take her to time out. No yelling, no screaming. Just pick her up and sit her in time out. Every time she gets up set your timer again.
My son can be like this. He has ADHD and is on the autism spectrum though.
Have you asked about getting your daughter evaluated for things such as this?
Stop trying to reason with a 5yr old like shes an adult.
Well hell girl you answered your own question when you said you don’t spank her. Light her ass up she’ll listen to you 
Might wanna try a new method 
Janet Lansbury is a savior. Read her books, listen to her podcasts or check out her blogs.
Reward good behavior.
Good luck with that.
This is my life too😏
F. Cause SAMMEEEE WITH MY THREE ALL OF A SUDDEN!!
Smack her ass.
Clearly your methods aren’t working
Previous generations functioned just fine with a smack on the ass when they acted up
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Spare the rod, spoil the child
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Just a thought. Maybe she needs more time with you. If she’s good, do you reward that or ignore it? Do you only pay attention to her when behavior is bad? Her younger sibling may be getting the attention she’s craving. She’s getting your attention by acting out; start praising her for the good things she does instead of the bad. She maybe jealous of sibling getting the attention. Spend time with just her, Mommy/daughter day.
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My kids knew and my grandchildren know know that I don’t say things twice. If I ask them to do something and they don’t respond I tell them to make me say it again and they move quickly because they know for sure that a consequence whatever it might be is coming. Even my 17 year old when he begins to act up or out, I ask him if he really wants to go to bed this early. He say no and it’s done. He has been to bed without supper so he knows that I mean what I say. At any age they just need to learn that you mean what you say Everytime. Doesn’t take them long to get it. I also give a lot of praise for good behavior. It saves so much trouble and makes for wonderful times. Be matter of fact (I never have to yell), firm, consistent and loving.
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I’m sorry but I’m the kind to spank my kids when they try the attitude. I will talk to them and explain to them why they are getting spanked first and the punishment after they understand why. My kids are 12,9 and 7. I have not had an attitude problem. Once it starts I nip it at the bud. You are the parent be the parent. Like everyone else says begin by taking away the things she likes to do such as watching tv. When she throws a tantrum ignore her. You are at the store walk away. But still be watchful of course. But don’t ever let them know that they can walk all over you they are young now it only gets worse as they get older.
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Attitude generally comes from what they see and experience. Take a good look at who her role models are. Do they show these behaviors? Have people around her laughed at her attitude in the past? Encouraged it? Sometimes people think is cute and laugh at it. To manage, give two choices of what’s acceptable, let her choose. Give her time frames, "In 5 minutes, we are shutting off the tv to get ready to leave. " Follow through, follow through, follow through! Rather than telling her what not to do, give her things she can do or say. When she gives attitude, repeat back in the way you would want her to say things. Good luck!
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Obviously time outs aren’t working. She fears nothing nothing that comes from you as a form of punishment. She thinks she’s the boss. Those roles need to change now before it’s to late. Tough love is sometimes required. Good luck
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My 5 year old seems to act out and not listens so well on days I’m not actively playing with him much. I devout 5-10 mins in the morning when he first wakes up to cuddling/ playing with him that really helps him follow my instructions to get ready for school.
Stop giving in to that behavior. Stand your ground. Your the parent.
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Well let me tell you what worked for me. When it came to picking up toys. I would ask 2xs . 3rd time it was property of trash. The toys became very scarce for my children. Then when brushing their teeth never had a problem. Kids sometimes need a good yelling at. Most kids dont do well with timeout. It’s more of a problem to deal with timeout. But the trash can loves toys. As time goes on you wont have to tell about much after that. My kids learned very quickly. If they left movies on the floor after being told to put them away I would go and step on them and break it.
I have a 6 year old and last year we had to do a red choices green choices chart if he had a certain amount of green choice days he would get a prize of his choice with in reason. He has improved alot and we don’t need the chart anymore