Take care of your own business.
The fact you expect your friend to do this in the first place doesnât make you seem like a very good friend?? And if it bothered you so much if you were that close why would you not just ask and talk to her?? Maybe she doesnât want you to think she assumes you need help? Or the âonly 45minutes before they get the busâ as you stated maybe her own child is testing and she needs a break herself being a stay at home mum?? Bit harsh if she is really your friend?
I think youâre 100% correct in feeling the way you do! If I had a close friend and she did that to me I would be hurt too! Youâre hurt and I understand that! Unfortunately not everyone has a heart, as you can see from these replies! I would be disgusted too!
Wow! You havenât even asked.
Everything I want to say has been said in 99% of the comments lol
Just ask her ? Maybe she is feeling overwhelmed with other issues you are not aware of ! Taking care of other peopleâs children regularly is really not so easy!
Ta kuljum iwegga ras jghidu !!! Ta darba fill ok kiku ima ma tipretendix li ta kuljum trid tamila rutina tiehu haieb it tifel tijak ukoll ax jaf hi diga jkolla tagha diga mqareb ⌠iehor ikun jonqosa filodu !!! Daqs kemm joqodu kwieti kif jaraw il xulxin it tfal!!!
Itâs really easy to get all judgey. This mommy came here asking for help. Maybe she does need a perspective shift, but is it necessary to be so mean to her? Mama, my best advice is to chat to your friend as see, maybe she is in need of help too or struggling to cope herself. As a sahm myself, itâs really hard, there is no one you can send your kids to, no baby sitter to help, you must cook, clean, raise kids etc. Being a sahm is the hardest job Iâve ever done, itâs 24/7 none stop, itâs certainly not easier than having a paying job. I worked from 1999 till 2017, so Iâm not being a naive housewife, I know how hard both are. Everyoneâs struggling especially in the covid climate we find ourselves in. Most people donât know how to ask for help. Maybe your neighbor wouldnât mind helping if you actually asked her. If she isnât offering, maybe she doesnât have the capacity to do so. #admin #bekind
Uhm⌠try asking her if sheâd be able to?
I mean youâre a grown up⌠so instead of getting upset and posting on social⌠use your wordsâŚ
She doesnât owe you anything and you did speak of a husband then youâll need to work out your issues within your home and kids without ponding them off on her(Boundaries). You all kids are you allâs responsibility. How dare you!
Being a stay at home mom is hard - doing it. Being a 40hour a week working mom is hard - done it. Speaking from both sides if the coin, it is ultimately your responsibility to sort out your own kids childcare. Regardless of whether her kids are in the same class, etc, that does not mean she should have to. If you were a real friend then you would have absolutely no issue in asking her rather than getting butthurt on social media; if you ask and she says no then youâve asked. Right now, you canât get hurt over something that hasnât happened - ask. If she says no, then its her fucking right to say no - theyâre not HER kids - are you gonna pay her the extra fuel if takes to pick your kids up? Are you gonna go round and pick up after your kids when they help trash her house by being kids? Pay for the snacks or anything else they eat while there? Grow the fuck up and ask her but donât lose a friend over something so fucking trivial. Theyâre your kids, not hers.
I mean if I saw my friend struggling looking for someone to watch her kid. I wouldnât mind I mean Iâm a stay at home mom thatâs my bestie and our kids are besties why wouldnât I do that ? I would kindly bring it up to her.
No one owes you free babysitting friends or family . If you would like talk to her and offer her some money cause in the end she doesnât have to
Does she know you want her to ? Obviously you should just ask.
I Was a stay at home Mom,and every body on the block expected me to watch Their kids pickup dry cleaning ,and get their packages,run their errands ,because they were working and I wasnât,I see that Attitude hasnât changed ,what entitlement,I can just sit here and shake my head,are they not your responsibility?seriously?take a good look at what you wrote,she donât owe you a damn thing
Itâs not your friendâs responsibility, itâs yours.
Ultimately, itâs not her responsibility and maybe sheâs feeling overwhelmed in her own responsibilities and doesnât have the mental capacity to help you with yours. Idk. I just donât think this is something you should hold against her⌠imoâŚ
She doesnât owe you anything dear, she might be a stay at home mommy bt she have a lot on her plate, find a babysitter or sum1 bt donât pin this one on her
This cant be realâŚ
If u start asking her or expecting her then wheres the line. Being a stay at home mum isnât easy.
Maybe your friend is just as hurt about you as you are about her. Getting a baby sitter without asking her first? Maybe she feels you think sheâs not good enough. But you wonât know unless⌠You Talk!
But you havent asked her? How can you get pissy that someone hasnât offered to help? Why not ask and then get pissy she said no?
This is a hard one as itâs not her responsibility to look after or even offer to look after your child daily. Just because she doesnât work doesnât mean she should do it for free, friend or not. If you pay a sitter offer to pay her but it could get messy and cause friction in the friendship. My neighbours children go to the same school and they donât work but i would never ask them to take my daughter itâs to something any one should expect from people they have their own lives. Itâs great they love close and your kids are close but you also have separate lives
I certainly wouldnât want a friend like you. No one owes you anything and your âfriendâ is not obligated to baby sit for you just because yâall live next to each other and are friends. Babysitting is a huge responsibility and commitment. Maybe she doesnât want that responsibility full time in the event she has other things going on. Also, she shouldnât offer if youâre wanting to pay her as a baby sitter itâs your kid you should approach her and if she says no you should accept that.
Wow, how pathetic and entitled do you wanna be? Sheâs not your kids parent or guardian, sheâs got her own to look after, her own life with her own shit to deal with. Just because you donât wanna deal with yours doesnât make her a bad person. Even says if you ask she does. Grow up jesus christ
If youâre so close, what do you talk about? What do you do for her so that you would have these expectations? Why donât you discuss your concerns with her? I think youâre over reacting and are having entitlement issues.
Its crappy for you to assume she should take on those responsibilities, she owes you nothing. Maybe her hands are already full. Youâre the one that is wrong here
Youâve got a sitter, which means youâve got it covered. Why must you be upset about your friend not helping where it doesnât look like you need help?
Stay at home mums work hard as well. Your child your responsibility Iâm afraid. Suck it up
Thereâs helping out and then feeling obligated. She shouldnât have to feel obligated then the pressure is on her⌠what if sheâs sick⌠what if they want to go away⌠donât be a selfish friend and keep paying a sitter
Sheâs your friend not your babysitter.
Omg so basically you donât want a friend just a free babysitter juts because she is a stay at home mum doesnât mean she has the time or the energy to look after your kids too and pander to you by offering, you havenât even asked her yet are âannoyedâ with her for not offering
god with friends like you who needs enemyâs
Youâre a horrible friend and your husband is too. âShe knows how much I struggleâ ever think I she is struggling too? What just because she is a stay at home mum means she canât struggle? She has to deal and parent her own children. Stop being so entitled. You said whenever youâre in an emergency she says yes and sheâs there for you and your kids⌠what more do you want? You expect her to just offer, yet have you ever just asked? What do you do for her that is just so amazing and heroic that you feel she needs to do this for you? Do you not realise youâre asking for a lot? Every morning and afternoon, 5 days a week, an extra child/ren in her household and in her care. That would be exhausting. A couple of days a week maybe just to help save from spending on a sitter but honestly youâve chosen this life so deal with it. If youâre looking for a fair solution maybe ask if she can do it a couple days a week and in return you will look after her kids so her and her partner can have a date night and alone time. Seems fair to me, she helps you by looking after your kid/s to make it easier for you and you look after hers to make it easier on her.
Your not asking her , to me that is the point . If you need help ask ,your friend isnât a mind reader . Also do you offer to help her ?
Suck it up as you said.
If you havenât asked she thinks you have it all sortedâŚ
Have you not heard the phrase if you donât ask youâll never get??
(Shy bairns get nout)
And maybe as a stay at home mam her life is just as hard and you have more than likely never offered to help her in any way.
If you donât trust your baby sitter thatâs not her issue thats yourâs she has her own life to live and sort out.
Stay at home parents are not babysitters and you shouldnât expect that of anyone nevermind your friend who maybe struggling more than you know because all you think about is yourself
People like you are the reason why I have issues doing favours for people. Absolutely entitled and expect the world for nothing . I had a friend like you once, so glad I ended that friendship.
Itâs your child, itâs your responsibility! If she didnât live next door, you would still need a sitter. Grow up.
Do not assume
Anything. Maybe she too is hurt tht u have never asked her. And pay someone else⌠??
Maybe she might like some extra easy $$$âŚ
U donât know
Cause u never asked herâŚ
I live in the same suburb as 2 out of 3 of my closest friends and donât baby sit their kids unless they ask⌠im so confusedâŚ
Am i horrible ? Claire Umm Asiyah
I never comment on these posts but ARE U SERIOUS?? You sound so stuck up i definitely wouldnât want to be your friend!! Just because she is your friend does not mean she should look after your kid. Maybe you think because she is a stay at home mum she has plenty of free time⌠pffff! Iâm a stay at home mum and let me tell you I dont have time to piss alone let alone look after my so called âfriendsâ kids!! Sorry but suck it up and deal with your own kids, she doesnât owe u nothing
Sijaona anywhere you have asked for helpâŚit is the other way roundâŚwhen you cannot ask for help someone told me it is called âPrideâ
Your friend might have been also wondering why you never found her useful to request for help instead of really struggling like you do. She could also just have been wondering why you never ask for helpâŚin.any case wewe ndiye uko na shidaâŚin any case, these are 2 different households⌠The other thing, who decided both of you stay next door.to each other? This is what destroys relationshipsâŚmzoeanoâŚso we start feeling like ukipika chapati ni lazima uniletee. Pls separate issues and talk to your friendâŚ
You cannot just assume your friend will take over your childâs responsibility. And pls get a full time house managerâŚdid I just write all thatâŚbreeeaatheâŚoouuuttt!
Why does she owe it to you to ease your responsibilities??
Iâm sorry but that is so selfish, you basically canât be her friend because she doesnât do anything for you!
I hear you I would be like you an offer to help in all honesty you never know when you might need help but itâs not her duty to do that Iâd let it go an just remember for the future.
Hahhaha are you actually serious???
Itâs not her responsibility to parent your child.
Please tell me this post is an April Fools Joke?? Cause you cannot be serious. How in the heck is your friend supposed to read your mind. You havent even talked to her about it. You and your husband need to reevaluate what kind of âfriendsâ you are.
If I were her I wouldnât offer to assist either because clearly helping you out would turn into a full time job. Are you looking for a friend or a free sitter because I doubt youâd pay her the fee youâre paying the sitter.
Iâm pretty sure that kids shouldnât have been riding on buses this year due to Covid. I donât know where you live but this is why the pandemic never ends.
Take your kid to the bus. Deal with your own problems. You cannot expect others to solve your problems for you.
Iâm sorry but itâs not something Iâd commit to either , mornings are busy enough let alone adding more ! Emergency sure no problem but otherwise no!
Have you ever asked? Offered to pay her? Sheâs probably busy with her own children and just because sheâs a friend you shouldnât feel entitled to free child care.
Have you ever asked her?
Its not our job to offer you help.
Dang yâall are harshâŚI have two very close friends we help each other out tremendously whenever we can no questions asked. Why? Because weâre single mothers and it takes a village. Clearly she didnât say they wouldnât be friends if she didnât help since she stated they have been friends since before the child was born. I see your point girl some people just donât have a giving heart
Girl get your whole life. Your kid, your responsibility. Just because she is available doesnât mean she owes you the âcourtesyâ of offering to watch your kid. Friend doesnât mean free assistant.
I just have to say some people are just wired differently as well. Maybe sheâs not the type to offer help? Yes I agree with everybody mornings are super busy.
Seriously, sheâs not a mind reader, ASK for heaven sake, and if she says no, sheâs only available in emergencies, accept it with grace. Mornings arenât any easier for SAH parents (Iâve done both), you have no right to expect someone else to take on the extra responsibility of YOUR kid, especially not for free.
Maybe her child wants some space from your kid! Ever think of that? Donât smother him. Jeesh!
If you are good friends just have a conversation with them. You are the one in need of help. They are not mind readers. Iâm sure if you talk to them & asked for the support they would help out, but you need to ask. For you to get all bent out of shape about them not offering is so selfish. Just put your adult pants on & have the conversation. Itâs OK to ask for help when you need it.
Youâre not asking her for much? Being solely responsible for your child for almost an hour in the morning is a big deal. It sounds like you think because sheâs a stay at home mom she should just offer to take care of your child for free because she must have extra free time right? Do you think she should offer to pick up and buy your groceries also just because she has to shop anyway? Definitely overreacting
Iâm a stay at home mom of 4 and honestly I donât like committing to keeping other peopleâs kids.
Stay at home moms donât just have all this free time to offer up favors left & right and, from experience, when we do we tend to get taken advantage of because people love to think we have nothing to do. Because she IS a good friend she helps you out when you really need it BUT that doesnât mean she wants to (or should be expected to want to) do it daily, and ESPECIALLY not for free!!! If itâs a job that you would like her to do then offer her the job and amount you are willing to pay. She might say no, that does not make her a bad friend!!! That makes her a friend that values her families needs and her own sanity and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!!! Also, what do YOU do to help her??? Just because she does have a full time job does not mean that she couldnât use some help or a break sometimes!! I obviously donât know your situation but judging by your post it sounds like you may have been taking advantage of her all along without even realizing it and thatâs why she isnât offering to help. Either way, she owes you nothing!
Nope. She is not a mind reader⌠you need to use your words and ask. I personally donât want other peopleâs kids at my house on a regular basis for many reasons.
Also are you going to pay her like you do the baby sitter? If the answer is no she probably knows that already, hence the not offering.
Why should she have to help with YOUR kids? Seems to me like you have expectations but really she doesnât have to help you. Those are your kids so they are your responsibility
Itâs not her job and she knows if she offers once you will come to expect it. I have 2 little ones and somedays we may sleep in later, even on a school day. Or I might cook for them or just want to walk around in my underwear before I HAVE to throw clothes on. Sheâs living her life and doing her routine for mornings. You cant expect to intrude on that.
It isnât her job to take care of your kid. Be glad that she doesnât mind when you ask for help.
If you want something from someone then learn to ask for it. Its not her responsibility to look after other peopleâs children, friends or not.
Closed mouths donât get fed. If you need her to then ASK but offer her something in return, you watch her kid 1 night a week or in the afternoons and make it a trade. You canât expect her to do something for free because your friends. Be careful mixing your friendship with business.
Ummm, maybe she never asked cause she thinks you have someone else to watch her and plus, YOU NEVER ASKED HER. Is this real?? also to add she has her own kids to deal with. Why does she need to help with yours everyday? Mad at her for doing something you never mentioned.
Do you really want advice? Stop being so passive aggressive and entitled. Ask for what you want, if you want something- and accept the answer graciously. This woman owes you nothing.
Iâm sorry but if I have my own kids to take care of I donât want the hassle of someone elseâs kid. Especially if their child is hard to handle.
Seriously overreacting. Its no ones job to offer to help with your child. Not even family. If you really need her help, then ask⌠but donât just assume sheâs supposed to offer it and get offended because she hasnt.
Extremely over reacting itâs definitely not her job at allâ:joy: itâs urs and ur husbands she didnât make that child with you so you canât expect her to just say hey let me take care of your child for free⌠and if she has no problem when you ask her then sheâs obviously a good friend but if you wanna loose that thenâ:woman_shrugging:
Hahahaahha you got to be kidding??? You arenât entitled to her time or offers. When you ask, which is the right thing to do instead of expecting, she agrees. Iâm glad sheâs being a regular human, you and your husband are over the top.
I am not trying to be rude but this makes me chuckle a little bit. It seems as though you feel some sort of entitlement⌠like she owes you or something. The only people who have an obligation to your child is you and your husband regardless of relationship. It is absurd to expect someone to just offer the help. What if she is awkward about offering? What if she thinks you prefer the sitter? What if she doesnât want it to affect the friendship by making your child her responsibility every morning?
It is not her job to care for your child. Have you ever asked her to do any of those things. Have you ever offered to pay her to do any of the things you listed? Why would you assume she would have anything to do with your child especially in these troubling times? If you want her to do any of these things you should ask her about it and not assume. She owes you nothing! Both you and your husband need to stop assuming anything and point blank talk to her! You and your husband are the only ones responsible for your child.
⌠this is pathetic, honestly.
If you want her help, simply ask. Why do you expect her to offer? She owes you nothing, even as a close friend. No one owes you the luxury of caring for your child for even 5 minutes. You need to step up & ASK for her help. If sheâs said yes before, I doubt sheâd say no.
Overreacting big time. Itâs not her job or responsibility. If you need her help ask for it. Unless she has a crystal ball she doesnât know you need help or would even like some.
This kinda comes off as âI have a job and she doesnât so why hasnât she offered to watch my kidâ. Sheâs a friend. Sheâs not a sitter for other peopleâs kids. Youâll pay a sitter but have you asked her if she wanted to get paid for watching and putting your child on/off the bus? I wouldnât want to be obligated for someone elseâs kid EVERY single day. Thatâs not her job. Itâs yours. She already has her own child
Also maybe she is hurt that you never offered to pay her when she has helped lol. The longer I think about this the more it upsets me that this is even a thing
Definitely overreacting. Your child is your responsibility no matter how close of a friend she is. Just because her child goes to school with yours doesnât mean she feels like dealing with 2 kids in the morning. If she isnât offering then she doesnât want you asking so you need to find a solution to your issue with getting your child back and forth. Why did you hire someone you were not comfortable with driving your child? Stop acting entitled and realize that friendship does not mean someone owes you something.
Your friend probably just isnât as considerate as you. I am that friend that always thinks of my friends and theirs as my own, but its taken me a long time to realize thatâs not usually how people are. Thats okay.
Youâre going to have to ask. Maybe suggest like âhey would you ever be interested in doingâŚâ or âwow that fiasco with the bus last week really messed up my work schedule. Do you think next timeâŚâ
Wtf. Just because youâre friends, doesnât mean she owes you anything like that, or has to care for your child. Or itâs her responsibility to give you free child care at any time. Thatâs your responsibility. Youâre way overreacting, and acting entitled. More like what kind of friend are you? Acting like she owes you, just because âsheâs a stay at home momâ and your working full time. She should be there to help you with free daycare, and rides for your child. Thatâs your child!
So because you work outside the home, you think she has to take care of your child? Lmao
Iâm a stay at home mom and I donât mind company but take yo kids with ya when you leave, I got enough on my plate with my own and I donât need extraâs⌠just being honest⌠I have in laws who think just cause Iâm a stay at home mom that I donât mind extra kids and I do, I am with my kids 24/7 their not, they work⌠I feel they should have them and spend time with their own kids when theyâre home, Iâm not a built in babysitter for no one not even relatives⌠I would love a break from my own⌠Being a stay at home mom is not easy⌠I know most people think being a stay at home mom is living the good life with their feet up watching soaps all day but sorry thatâs not the caseâŚ
And how many times have you offered to help her child on the bus or is this just a one sided thing?
I stayed at home for year with 3 kids and I would probably never offer to help someone everyday. Even as a stay at home mom. I had things to do, errands to run. For the sake of your friendship honestly, keep the sitter. She may think itâs best to have that boundary for herself and her family as well.
Iâd be more mad your husband isnât helping you figure all this out and making it work with youâŚYou are a team! You chose to be parents. Itâs your responsibility. Nobody elses
Working mom or stay at home doesnât matter jobs equally hard, just because she stays at home you assume she has it easier and to take care of your kid for you ? Real friends donât expect anything from eachother and if you do expect her to take care of your kid for you everyday best be paying her the same you would the sitter then. Stay at home moms have lifeâs and routines to
So she is such a close friend, that you donât approach her and simply ask for her help, but rather get on social media and complain about her instead??
Did you ask her for help?
No!
Itâs not someone elseâs job to think of the needs of your family, thatâs your job.
People have their own lives and families to focus on.
Iâd be questioning your integrity as well as the friendship, after seeing this passive aggressive post.
I mean just ask her and maybe offer he some kinda payâŚsince she lives so closeâŚ
Your child, ur responsibility! If you sometimes need a lil help, open ur mouth and ask but itâs not her responsibility to just do stuff.
Maybe she doesnât want to ruin the friendship by helping you with your kids. Parents have different styles of child rearing and I have lots of friendships getting ruined by that alone. Also, with all the abuse and crap going on in the world I would not want to take the chance of ever being accused of doing something. I hate thinking like this but it happens too much and it would kill me if a kid got mad and made an accusation against me for revenge. Nope, she is staying in her lane, you need to stay in yours and get over it!
Definitely not her job? The world does not revolve around you sorry
This is that phenomenon with people who are askers and people who are guessers. She is likely an asker, which means if she wanted or needed something she likely would just ask and expects the same from you. You seem to be a guesser so you wont ask but you assume if everything is in place and you knew you would get a garunteed yes then you might. But you would also just offer to help others. You need to ask
I dont know why everyone has to be so rude here⌠anyway I would say to start by opening up the conversation with your friend and ask if its something she would be interested in helping with. Keep in mind that she has every right to say no and that doesnât make her a bad friend by doing so. You donât know her situation in the morning nor her morning routine. She may be extremely busy and struggling to get her own children ready in the morning and cannot handle the additional child hence why she didnât offer. We canât assume, she may be having a rough time in the mornings as it is. Being a stay at home mom can be super draining and so by having another child to add when rushing to get them ready in the morning can be challenging!
Maybe itâs hard enough dealing with her own child in a morning, just because sheâs a stay at home mum does not mean her life is easy. It works both ways, have you ever asked her to see if she would be willing to take your child to the bus every morning? Maybe itâs not something she has though about, she might have other things on her mind and she is not a mind reader. Also why should she do it for free, if youâre paying a sitter then you should pay her. She might not want to commit incase she canât do it 1 morning. Thereâs may be many reasons that she hasnât offered until you use your works and ask then youâll never know x
Maybe just maybe her mornings are hectic and adding another child to the mix may not be the best thing to do. My child is 6 and is severe adhd I couldnât imagine trying to get him out and on the bus a long with another child to be responsible for. Remember things are different behind closed doors. If you no longer want to pay someone to come and put your child on the bus maybe you can see about getting your schedule changed up at work? Just because you work and she doesnât does not mean what she does is below you. I work full time but I also know a stay at home parent is a full time job in itself.
How entitled do you have to be to expect someone to offer to help you with your children? ⌠if thatâs how you think, I wouldnt offer you help either⌠she doesnt owe you anything for being your friend⌠and you shouldnât expect something just because shes your friend⌠really?
They ainât mind readers and you are the 1 in need of help. Iâm sure if you asked, she would say âno problemâ as like you said, she puts her own child on the bus every morning. Sounds like you are expecting them to do this for yous, and resenting them for your own parental duties, meanwhile the poor things donât even realise they are being judged for something that has NOTHING to do with them!
Bruh⌠yes, you are over reacting. Perhaps try asking! Youâre handling your business, why would she offer help for a situation that doesnât need help!? It is absurd to EXPECT and assume this is something she SHOULD be doing. Even more so that now you canât look at her cause you expect her to take care of your business without any knowledge what so ever. Be an adult and use your words. But for real, APRIL FOOLS! Right? This has to be a joke. Getting people all hawt and bothered on fb. Good one
I couldnât have kids when all my friends did. I spent way to much time taking care of their kids so they could have a life. Now that I finally had some, not once have I been offered. I wonât babysit anymore.
Wow!!! When my husband passed away, I dropped my kid to my best friends house in the mornings I work, and every other weekend. But - I paid her the same amount I pay a daycare. Thereâs no freebie in America.
Perhaps she thinks you have it handled and donât need help. Maybe when you do ask her and offer to help her with anything she may need help with