I’d put my house on the market and move far away from that hot mess
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I’d slip her a note on all details about her husband anonymously and maybe explain in the letter that u thought she should know because if that was you ,you would want someone to tell u
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That’s tough. I would tell Jane, and it’s understandable if you dont want to get involved either because that’s just a mess but she does deserve to know. Maybe from an anonymous place, it would be sad to keep watching her be deceived like that. Knowing the truth would hurt but she will find out eventually, better sooner than later.
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If you tell Jane, you will become the most hated person in this circus. It is not your place. Truly. If you tell Jane it will be seen as betrayal to your bestie, homewrecker or nosey Parker to John and Jane. Once the dust settles in a few years, they may speak to you. If you really want fireworks, invite all 3 over for game night 
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I would decide based on your closeness with Jane. If you’re a very close friend and you don’t tell her, she may feel betrayed if it comes out some other way.
But also evaluate whether she might want to know or whether she would prefer not to. Some women would rather not find out if their husband had an affair.
Perhaps when visiting, bring up a similar situation like you saw it on social media and gauge her reaction. If she says something indicating whether she would want to know or not, if it was her, then you have your answer.
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Iam sorry but it should not in the first place.
John m Lucy are the snake. She saw all the flags but still went on to date the guy. My advice is to sit down with John m te him u know and you are giving him time to tell his wife or u will.
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Somebody better tell “Lucy” shes the prime example of a HOME WRECKER. If you KNOW that man is married or even just in a relationship period, you don’t mess with someone else’s man!
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Nothing. None of your business.
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Anonymously send her a letter from another town with whatever info you decide to spill. Sounds kinda bad but if you want her to know but you not “be involved” it’s might be a solution. If it were me personally, I’d probably just slowly distance myself. If you do it suddenly she will know your upset and may pry for info. If you drift away it won’t be so alarming.
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In this case it would be none of my business and not something I’d worry about. Not my problem
I would tell her… some ppl say mind your business… but for Jane’s sake tell her that way she won’t get pregnant by that repugnant piece of crap and ruin her life by having her share her kid with that cheater her whole life. No one deserves what this guy did to her.
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Honestly…any person who is being cheated on deserves to know plain and simple, tell her anon by putting a few pictures of his daughter/her step daughter, on the step when you know shes home alone, that way you arnt involved and things can take place more naturally if anything happens between them.
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It’s a tough situation. If I were you I would I could confront him about it and go from there.
I would tell John to be a man and tell her the truth she will find out that you knew but you tell her you wanted her man to tell her and just be there for her and Jane I would have nothing to do with her she is not a nice person and the guy his not a man he’s a mouse
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So your friend Lucy has a baby by a man & she doesn’t know he’s your neighbor? Does Lucy never come to your house or does Lucy not know where John lives? Because if my friend had a baby by my neighbor my friend would realize my neighbor was her baby daddy. I mean, to me it sounds like you don’t need to tell anyone anything. Simply because I have a feeling Lucy knows her baby daddy is your neighbor.
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He’s a snake alright… but so is she!!!
Put yourself in Jane’s situation… You would want to know… Give her all the evidence she needs so she can decide what she wants to do thereafter
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Following my heart hurts for both of them!
- To all the people saying “mind your business”… thank God you are not my friend!! I’d rather my friend hate me for life than know something this extreme and not have told her!
- For all the people saying to give John an ultimatum…you never know what lengths a person will go to keep skeletons in a closet! This choice is dangerous and also gives him preparation to lie, cheat, & deceive even more. You think he’s just going to be like "okay, I’ll tell my wife the most devastating news of her lifetime…immediately…I’m so sorry?! HA! Not a chance in hell or he’d of done it long time ago! He’s a dirt bag…don’t you forget it!
- THERE IS A CHILD INVOLVED!!! AN INNOCENT CHILD WHO WILL ONE DAY KNOW SHE WAS CONCEIVED FROM DECEPTION!!! Lucy is JUST as much to blame as John and is absolutely someone you should not have around you or your family! Yes, everyone makes mistakes but there are consequences to those mistakes! Once she was aware this was your married neighbor and had absolutely zero regard for the wife or her child shows even further she is a selfish homewrecker!! Her feelings should not be taken into consideration whatsoever in your decision!
There is ONLY ONE right thing to do in this situation, REGARDLESS of the outcome. You invite Jane over to your home when there is a free day where there will be no interruptions and you tell this poor woman EVERYTHING!! You offer her your complete devotion to help her during this life shattering time and you keep your word!
This is absolutely devastating and this poor woman is sleeping right now after praying to God to bare a child with her husband who she has devoted her life to. Think about that…she is begging God to have a child with her husband who is having an affair with a whole secret family and he just told her how much he loved her, probably having sex with her and then rolled over without a care in the world while you are left with the world on your shoulders!!!
HELL NO!!! FUCK HIM, FUCK LUCY!!!
DO THE RIGHT THING!!!
He is not a man he’s a mouse no man would treat there love one like he did 
Stay out of it…their problem
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I think Lucy should tell Jane. 
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Wow that’s one major lie for him to be okay with carrying forever. I could go so many ways but ultimately if Jane is a good person and you’re hurting for her I’d definitely figure out a way for her to know. This could save her from wasting so much time in her life. Again, this is a HUGE lie.
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John should be the one to sack up and tell her, however it seems like he won’t so think about it… yeah it’s not your place but how would you feel if you were in that position where your completely oblivious to your husband’s deceit and your friends knew and never spoke up?
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You need to tell Jane that her husband is practically living a double life without her knowing it. That’s more sad because having been cheated on myself Jane will be devastated, Lucy ( your bestie doesn’t care because she got a child out of it) and John doesn’t care who gets hurt in the process as long as he can have the best of both worlds which he is. Jane deserves the truth, not to be wasting her life being cheated on when she could find someone who will actually be faithful to her. Do right by Jane, your so called bestie is not a nice girl ruining someone else’s marriage
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That’s just straight bogus I’d feel bad for Jane right on.
So in reality you will lose your neighbors as a friend. You say something to Jane and she will hate you. She will believe whatever John tells her. As for Lucy. I would no longer talk or consider her a friend. She’s trash. Period.
So basically your best bet is to let all of that drama unfold between them. If and when Jane finds out then maybe you can step in and console her. But really that’s all on Jane.
You could consider showing the pig a picture of your friends baby. Then tell him to handle his biz. Don’t think you should say anything to her, she won’t be your friend anymore if ya do. And he doesn’t deserve a good friend.
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Silence is golden! MYOB
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If you were Jane, would you want to know? I’d say yes! Tell Jane. Yes. It’s going to break her heart. Yes. It will probably end their marriage. But, damn, I’d surely want to know.
The “messenger” usually gets shot! Stay out of it!! “Not my circus, Not my monkeys”.
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John ought to grow some nutters and own up to what he’s done, its a small world and Jane will eventually find out it will be devastating
The guilt of knowing would kill me. She has the right to know that her husband has a baby! and that he’s not faithful. That’s a whole fucked up situation. I feel bad for the child involved.
So Lucy is still seeing John secretly for the sake of the child they had together? I don’t understand the point in bringing the child into this world if she still has John involved. I would definitely tell Jane that he has a double life going on if that’s the case.
Personally, if it were me, I always ask myself if Someone did this to me and knew about it, but never said a word. I not only would be embarrassed, but hurt. If you were in her shoes, would you want to know about this? A baby with another woman is a big big deal. A lot of people are going to be hurt. I feel as though she needs to know. Eventually I’m sure she will find out, but…… I don’t know…. Some of these others commenting for you to move on truly probably wouldn’t just move on like that if they were in your shoes. It’s hard to say what others would do if they’ve never been faced with this situation. I feel so so bad for her.
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I know a lot of people are saying mind your business but I’d tell her, whether it’s in person or anonymously. If I were in that position as hurtful as it may be I’d like to know.
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It says she was causally dating a man who separated from his wife? So were the neighbours split? If so in theory he did nothing wrong really as wasn’t together, if he’s cheating well that’s awful…
Surely if both neighbours and Lucy are invited to your families gatherings they would have met?? I’m not buying that she didn’t know he was your neighbour lol…
John should tell his wife though regardless…
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Jane is the one that’s being hurt… I would tell Jane 
and punch john.
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If you are really that close to Jane and value her and y’alls friendship, then tell her. I worry with the fact that she may not believe you, sometimes someone’s word isn’t enough regardless of how close you are. Only you know how close you and Jane are, if you feel like she’d believe you or you have proof, tell her in person. If not, then write a letter, maybe include a picture of Lucy and the baby. I know this would eat me alive and I’d have to tell her somehow.
If u get involved more than u already r, u will regret it by loosing! Take care of yourself & let things happen has they may! Really…it is not your problem, don’t own it! Wish u the best with your emotions & use your brain. I am not trying to be cold or uncaring but I have been on this earth 70+ years traveled & experienced a lot.
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Tell her. If she already knows or she doesn’t care to leave him that’s her business. Either way the only WRONG thing to do is to know and keep it from her.
There’s nothing worse than finding out ‘too late’ that your partner cheated and people knew but didn’t tell you. You’d never be able to trust anyone and you’d be looking at people wondering if they knew and didn’t tell you. If they decide to work things out then that’s on them at least she knows what kind of person she’s dealing with now and can watch for any future signs. If they split at least she had one good friend she could depend on. If she does get mad at the messenger don’t take it personally that’s just the first reaction to her entire world shattering.
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Always out a cheater.
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Tell Jane. Fuck John and fuck Lucy, the truth will come out, it always does.
Oh gosh, that’s terrible. I’m sure lots of people will say to mind your business. But honestly, If I knew my friends husband was cheating on her, I’d let her know. Unfortunately you’re right in the middle of this, with your friend (neighbor): husband is cheating with your other friend.
I’d pull her aside, and tell her you’re so sorry. And tell her exactly what your said. You have a girlfriend, and you finally saw a picture of her child’s father. You’re going to loose this friendship regardless with both neighbors., The longer you go pretending you don’t know Janes husband is a dog, the more it will hurt Jane when the info finally comes out.
Jane needs to know the truth.
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Tell John. Give him a chance to be the one to break the bad news to Jane so you don’t have to. If he doesn’t tell her himself, then I would tell her.
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As Lucy’s friend I would tell her that she made the agreement to get pregnant and raise the child alone. Now continuing a relationship with a man she knows is married would only lead to heartbreak in the long run, especially if he has not been open with his wife about Lucy.
I would certainly invite Jane over and explain the situation exactly as you have in this post. Make it clear that Lucy had no idea it was your neighbour, and that you had only discovered for yourself once she showed you a picture. Be open and honest.
I’m sure any woman would much rather the heartbreak now, knowing that it was solely his betrayal rather then finding out much later down the road and discovering that you knew and didn’t say anything, and that Lucy discovered and decided to continue a relationship.
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Without proof of the cheating or anything like that I wouldn’t tell her anything or speak to him about it either.
Sadly, some people will genuinely refuse to believe their spouse is capable of such things, even with proof,but they soon come around or act it doesn’t bother them.
If you want to open that can of worms, I would try and get as much proof as possible , because if not Jane could turn against you( not saying she wouldn’t even with the truth in her face ) and just say your are the issue etc as It will be your word against John’s and/or Lucy’s.
I know it’s not fair as you’re doing the right thing by telling her but at least you are covered.
Hope you do what you think its best and not lose a friend in the process.
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Not talk to such a disgusting person. Duh.
If she’s your friend, tell her. They are neighbours so imagine seeing a kid born that looks like your husband. And adding up that they weren’t together st the time etc. It will come out. Especially if use are all neighbours. And if your her friend and haven’t told her. Thats not fair at all. I would like to know, i think we all would.
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Tell Jane. Or well I’d give John the chance to first. Ultimatum
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I would talk to the guy first and give him a chance to come clean.
I agree with confronting him with what you know and tell him he needs to tell his wife. It’s not really your place to go to her with it unless he refuses. Such a sad situation 
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mind your own business
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Also why is Lucy sleeping with married men? And thinking that’s ok? I’m sorry but no, tell the wife because her husband actually has a secret family. What happens in the dark will come out in the light!
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It’s a difficult one. If I was Jane, I’d want to know but who’s to say if you tell her that she’d believe you - then she may tell her husband and they may make you out a liar and it will be really awkward. You will also likely lose your friendship with Lucy. The situation is completely wrong but I’d say you’re best letting them get on with it themselves as hard as it is.
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stay out of it not your problem
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None of your business , if you say anything you’ll end up being the bad person , keep out of it
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Do nothing ,not your story to tell
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U do nothing … seams like a them problem
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There are a few questions that haven’t been answered. Was Lucy sleeping with anyone else at the time? Was Lucy still sleeping with her husband she is separated from? Has a DNA test been done on her child and John to see if he is indeed the father? If John’s wife can’t get pregnant maybe it isn’t her but him. How does anyone know for sure this child IS John’s? What if this child was fathered by some else? If that’s the case, then you could open up a whole can of worms and lose 2 friendships because both women will hate you in the end. Until you have absolute proof you should calm down and let it play out by itself. This is a strange world we live in and that child could be anyone’s.
Wow, so many people commenting here are s*itty friends!!! SMH I am about what is doing RIGHT and doing right by my friends. Jane and Lucy are both of your friends so the question is, which would you rather have in your circle? one who knowingly fks people over for selfish reasons (lucy) or one who hasnt done anything to anyone that you know of (jane)? I’d choose jane. Tell her. Otherwise you’re just living a lie. Wouldnt you want to know?
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All these people saying don’t say anything clearly have never been betrayed so deep . Of course you tell her. A true friend already would have and wouldn’t even ask what to do. Its obvious you tell her , as for this so called friend I’d cut her off knowing he still married ect but continuing a relationship with him damn don’t need that toxicity in your life hun . X
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Personally I’d tell the wife just Bc her physical health is at risk. I’d also tell your other friend to stay on top of STD checks. Guarantee she isn’t the only and this is t the first time.
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Could you “accidentally” introduce Jane and Lucy…
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- He obviously lied to Lucy because he’s not separated from his wife. 2. Why is she having an affair with a married man separated or not from his wife he’s still married it’s cheating and 3. Give him an ultimatum tell his wife Jane or you will
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Stay away from it xx 
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Do not say a word. Do not get involved. This will damage your friendship anyway as you won’t be able to continue to be friends with this knowledge.
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First off… if Jane is your friend how would she not know John is your neighbor, or John not know Jane is your friend? It’s a potential loss all the way around… give John an ultimatum, tell Jane or you will… risk is, Jane being hurt that you knew and didn’t tell her. Telling Jane and losing Lucy. Or tell them all the jig is up for the sake of this poor child…
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I would 100% tell the wife. You say you consider her a friend, well wouldnt you want your friend to tell you if your husband got some other woman pregnant?
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Somebody needs to tell this lady. She’s emotionally draining herself and for what? Do not let her get pregnant by this man too pls.
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Say nothing, carry on and watch the universe take care of it.
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Omg!!! Wow this leaves me shaking my head!! That’s a hard call 2 make bcuz there will b no good out come 2 this situation. The man is a pig!!
If you tell Jane, you hurt her, especially since she’s been trying to have a baby. If you threaten John, he could get passively violent with you and you get yourself an unnecessary enemy (the kind that could eliminate you) seeing as he is a snake and all.
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So one day both friends are possibly going to be around each other probably at your house and then there’s a child involved that the “dad” is actively involved with so what happens in the event that everyone is together and child is calling him daddy 
the wife’s sure going to ask questions that will need answering this isn’t fair on the wife or the child I’d be telling John you know about his secret life and child as the other lady is your close friend and have him come clean to his innocent wife
Nobody manages to lead a double life like that for long and when the truth eventually comes out the wife is going to be so angry/upset that you knew and didn’t say anything leaving her even more humiliation to deal with x
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When that little girl grows up and goes on a search to find her father, and finds out it was her neighbor all along, karma will do the rest.
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I’d tell Jane. Screw John. He can suck my fist. 
I’d give him dirty looks all the way to my mailbox. Jane needs to know, and she has a right to know. John is a dirt bag. But, Jane also needs to know that it’s not Lucy’s fault, either. I couldn’t care less if I lost John as a friend. He brought this on himself. Maybe he should have looked for mistresses outside his zip code.
Ohhhh Lucy knew lmfao
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I would set up a BBQ and have your friend their with the daughter and invite the neighbours over to give a rude shock to him then the truth will end up coming out
Tell Jane. She deserves to know what is going on and then she can make her own decision
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Tell him you know. He needs to tell his wife before you do. She deserves to know. Tell your friend to stop with his ass too l!! He’s a married man.
I’d tell Jane. If it were me, I would want to know.
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He is a snake. Your friend is also. Tell his wife. She should no what kind of man she with.
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You need to tell her put yourself in her shoes wouldn’t you want to know I know I’d want to know I’d be grateful to the person who told me what was going on
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I think as hard as it is, you need to tell her. For her sake and for the daughters sake! Them two are the only ones going to get hurt in all this. She deserves someone so much better than him!
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You break your friendship; they are going to want to know why… that’s when you spill the boiling hot tea all over Johns lap!!
Or have a BBQ; invite old mate Lucy around and John and Jane and watch him squirm like a worm
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Yeesh this is the start of the storyline for so many true crime videos. 
Proceed with caution.
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Tell her for the sake of their child and family and for unborn baby
What would you want a friend to do if you were Jane in this story? I’d want to be told.
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Mind your own business and stay out of it. It’s nothing to do with you.
It’s between him and her!
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Jane deserves to know. Tell her now before she becomes pregnant and stuck with the filthy snake John for the rest of her life 
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That women needs to know ASAP, she cannot get caught pregnant to a man without knowing this!
I’d put it straight on his toes, you got 2 days to tell your wife, if chooses to stay with him her choice, but all I know is of that was my husband I’d wanna know before getting stuck with him. Having a baby behind your wife’s back is LOW as fuck and to be frank I’d hang his arse out to dry!
He needs to own up to his actions or s child is going to grow up s dirty secret and with irregular contact as he’s to busy leading a double life!
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My friend got pregnant from my married neighbor: What should I do?
I guess you could start by telling “John” that you know and go from there…
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My friend got pregnant from my married neighbor: What should I do?
I’d tell John that you know he fathered Lucy’s daughter and that he needs to tell Jane or you will. Then give him a deadline.
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Either way you go will end the friendship…not being able to look at them without feeling guilty or telling…there is no good answer…I am so sorry for you guys…that’s a horrible spot to be in
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This is clearly not your business. But if you feel the “need” to do something, invite him and his wife, and your friend to dinner at your place. But don’t let each know that you invited the other. Let them take care of the rest. That other woman will know…just looking at the baby.
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Please tell Jane, believe me, she would feel so betrayed if she finds out you knew and didn’t say anything.
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Your friend wants a baby by a married man?
Oh wait she had a baby by a married man.
There are many signs when a man is married especially never taking you to his place or always being busy.
Sometimes people don’t want to see the signs.
But this whole thing sounds toxic and shady as can be.
Then Says she won’t ask him for anything but is upset when he’s “busy”?
Amd a friend would not put you in that position.
As a woman I would tell.
Imagine it happening to you or your sister or mother and people y’all
Trusted knew and would t say anything .
The neighbor since she’s your “friend” too needs to be treated with respect and not
Lied to .
At least her knowing she can choose what she wants to do going forward.
Knowing me I’d invite them all over.
It amazes me the women saying mind your business but when it happens to them they’re crushed…
That woman has children and probably has no clue what’s been occuring.
She needs to know.
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