It’s honestly not your buisness. Let the woman who did this say something it’s a hard situation…… I’d say just keep it to yourself it could make for a messy thing for this child. Clearly it’s wrong but at the same time this tiny human being shouldn’t have problems because of the mistakes the parents made.
You’re a great person and have a great heart, that’s why you’re torn. Just don’t let it blind you from doing the right thing.
This sounds incredibly fake but she got herself in that spot if she don’t care you shouldn’t either I’d mind my own
She needs to know!!! Give John a chance to tell her on his own, or go tell Jane. If u break off the friendship curiosity will lead and questions will be asked and wat wud u say? Bottom line is he needs to come clean or the wife needs to b told
It might not be your place to insert yourself in that mess! I certainly wouldn’t want to be friends with Lucy anymore. She would probably sleep with your husband given the opportunity! & I certainly wouldn’t want to be friends with John because that is some trifling ass shit on his behalf! I wouldn’t be able to look his wife in the eyes knowing what you know! Buuuuuuuuuut… if you decide to say anything, just invite them all over for a BBQ! Including Lucys baby! It might unfold itself
If both females are your friends just pretend like you didn’t see that picture. Telling Jane would betray Lucy, maybe negatively impact the child. Let them work that out. Check who’s seeing your husband. Make that your business. Sounds like you idle.
Follow your heart. What to you feel is right. It’s going to wear on you being in the middle and having to hang out with these people. These situations can turn dangerous too. So think thoroughly
She needs to know, because its gonna hurt even more as the child gets older and she sees it and finds pieces of her husband.
She probably already is wondering. I bet she has asked him and he made her feel crazy and horrible for asking if he was cheating. I agree play innocent having them over all at once. So its apparent be prepared to support both women.
That’s a terrible situation to be in for sure! I feel for you, and especially for “Jane”
Lucy not so much. Once she learned the truth, that should have been the immediate moment she cut ties, on a personal level outside of necessary baby related interactions.
Sorry to be so blunt, but she lost any respect when she chose to proceed with him knowing full well the hurt it will undoubtedly (and unavoidably) cause Jane. Especially when they’ve been trying to conceive a child and he made one with her, that’s just heartless, blatant disrespect on so many levels, that’s not right. None of it is.
But here’s the thing, with any difficult situation we find ourselves in, any mental or emotional turmoil involving another person’s truth or life, there is really only one thing we have to do when we’re faced with such a seemingly impossible situation…
Put yourself in her shoes.
Ask yourself, would you want someone you believe is your friend, whom you trust, to tell you the truth?
Especially with something so big? Or hide it and go on like normal, lying to your face, allowing you to continue on living a lie with this snake of a man (to put it lightly) wasting your time and your love on someone who doesn’t deserve it - because that’s how she’d see it, whether your intentions are good and your heart is in the right place trying to spare her feelings or mind your business or not… she would feel betrayed if she finds out, well when she finds out (because she will, it IS unavoidable) not just by her husband and this other woman, but by you and your husband as well.
If it were you, my guess is that’s how you’d feel too…so wouldn’t you want to know?
When this all comes out she’s going to need a friend, someone she can trust… wouldn’t you rather be able to be there for her?
Don’t tell her! They won’t believe you and somehow you end up the bad one when you were just trying to help her see what she has at home
Wow that’s wild. it isn’t your business to tell even though it feels like you want to help. Often times they’d blame you if you say something. They’re figure it out on their own hopefully sooner rather than later
Your conscious will always bother you if you don’t tell the wife. You will always know you could have saved her a lifetime of pain.
As hard as it is, I feel like “Jane” 100% deserves the truth so she can choose if she even wants this John to be the father of her child one day. It will ALL come out one day regardless, look at Ancestry DNA, for example.
The truth will come to light.
It’s up to you if you give this woman a chance to run for the hills before she does end up with a child from her current spouse
Tough spot. I’d want to know if I was Jane, as I’m sure you would, too. I get not wanting to be involved but you can’t un-know something. I would tell her and just let the pieces fall where they may.
If she is really your friend and you are really her friend then tell her…friends look out for each other and don’t let each other look stupid in these streets
Tell her you want hangout with both of them together until it comes out because you feel so guilty and don’t want to be apart of this
I wouldn’t be able to be friends with him knowing he was cheating on her anyway.
Imagine the embarrassment “Jane” will fell when she finds out and then she also finds out u knew and didn’t say anything! She won’t wanna be your friend either cos Ur not being a friend to her right now.
U need to tell them it’s not U that’s done the wrong thing it’s john and if U don’t tell then that’s wrong of U.
It’s shit that U have been put in this position but if he is cheating with Ur friend Lucy he is probably also cheating with others so both Lucy and Jane should get an STI test. U need to tell her before she ends up pregnant to “John the arsehat” and then there’s 2 kids involved.
Also Lucy should totally go for childsupport cos a) the child is entitled to it, and b) John lied to her about his situation so they deal they made is void
I would NEVER pull John aside and tell him privately
You don’t know what this dude is capable of… I would find a way to talk to Janes parents so she has a support system
Bring the parents or sister of Jane to house and then Jane to house and tell her privately so outside people know what’s going on and Jane is safe
Do you know if your neighbors ever separated for a period of time ?…. Maybe they could have split up for awhile and that’s when he got your friend pregnant and then him and his wife decided to get back together and work things out ?
I would mention to John and Jane That you have to go see your friend Lucy and her little girl next time you see them. Look right at John when you say it. Or offer to Lucy a night of baby sitting, and make sure John sees her but has no contact
Say something to the woman ‘Jane’. She deserves to know. If you are truly friends with her, you would tell her. That way she can make the decision wether or no to forgive him.
I’d say it like you didn’t know she didnt know if that makes since . . Like bring up how sorry you are that they are struggling and how hard that must be with him already having a child etc . . then she gonna find out just play stupid like you thought she knew . . Trust me she will want to know but sometimes its hard just bluntly coming out about it
This is a hard one ive been " Jane" smh .my girlfriend kept telling me she needed to talk to me but felt like it needed to be talked about in person. After a couple days sshe came over an we sat in my van an she broke the news to me that EVERYONE ( PEOPLE WE KNEW) were talking about it an she was the only 1 that came to me an told me that my boyfriend of 10 yrs had a baby with someone else ( a women we know ). Mind you we had 2 kids together already. It broke my heart in a million peaces. But I was very thankful to her for telling me. Long story short be a FRIEND an tell her what you know. You don’t want to loose a friendship over HIS bs choices!!! She going to be hurt mad sad . just be there for her! Dont loose thw friendship
I would tell the wife she deserves it John is a snake he deserves to be told on and then maybe he can be with his kid full time
I’d say believe this if u want… then proceed to say something. Her bad if she doesn’t believe it. At least it’s off your chest and did ur part.
Invite them all over for dinner. Let the rest sort itself out. You’re just doing your civic duty as a loyal friend, and neighbor. Let them do the talking. Lol
Simple. Say something. Would you want your decisions manipulated away like he’s doing to your friend Jane? Put yourself in her shoes for a minute. Would you want to blindly live a lie, or have a choice to your feelings about who you think you’re married to?
I would definitely want to know if my husband was cheating on me AND fathered another child. If she is truly your friend i would tell her
The amount of woman who say to stay out of it, if yalls man cheated & your friend knew & didn’t tell you - wouldn’t you be pissed? Feeling WAY more hurt over it? That’s her FRIEND and as a friend, she should be LOYAL one, not a fake ass friend whos watching and knowing all of this happen. If I was her & you knew & didn’t tell me & called yourself my friend, shewwww child.
Some of you woman are absolutely insane. Like I hope yall never experience something like this, but then again I do so you see how it feels not to be told by a friend. call me petty
If ur friend truly wanted a baby she should have went to a clinic not ask some guy to impregnate her thats just ridiculous… and as far as ur neighbors if u were truly their friend u would say something cuz the man fucked up and his wife shouldn’t have to deal with it… and with her also wanting to get pregnant shes gonna hate the fact that it was one of ur friends at first but she would respect the fact that u were honest with her…she’s gonna find out one way or another best way is to be honest
Okay, so they were on a break when this affair happened. How do you know he hasn’t told his wife? Everyone has skeletons in their closet. It’s not your place to judge what happened before you were their friends. If you absolutely can’t live with yourself because of this information; Pull him aside alone and tell him you suspect that Lucy is the mother of his child based on what you’ve been told. You actually know it’s non of your business but morally you feel stuck with this I knowledge and conflicted being a good friend to them all. Tell him regardless of the circumstances and what he chooses to do with the information you needed to share what you’ve been told with him so he can do what he wants with the information. And leave it at that…… if he chooses to tell his wife and kids that’s on him.
Tell the wife before she does get pregnant by him and it’s waaayyy worse!
I would tell John that he needs to tell his wife or you will! Force him to man up to what he did!
The message is never received well. Stay out of it
Tell the poor woman! If that happened to me and other people knew, and didn’t tell me… I’d be devastated.
Quite simply, from some who has been cheated on by a husband and everyone around me knew…TELL HER. Because it’s all going to come out eventually and when it does she will be losing a husband and a friend if she knows you k ew and kept a secret. Also she will be humiliated knowing others knew and hid it and that’s a horrible feeling when you already have enough pain.
I would personally tell Jane. I would want to know. Especially before Jane and John get pregnant and then she’s tied to him forever. I think it would be best to let her know so she can figure out what she wants to do from there.
Post the info anonymously (with proof and full details)
The information is hers to do as she pleases
She may decide to stay and work through it and the pressure of people knowing and judging won’t help with that
I’ve been cheated on and then found out multiple people knew, I don’t know which betrayal was worse tbh
Stay out of their business. It’s not your circus, but then again I’d get John and speak with him privately about you knowing and that he should step up and tell his wife.
Isn’t it her issue because she is good friends with Jane. When jane finds out she will never forgive her.
I would tell John to spill it.
Poor jane is living a lie and that sucks.
So John is separated from his wife? Obviously, there’s something not copacetic in the marriage. How do y’all know they haven’t planned to divorce after the house is paid off - or after one is able to refinance a vehicle to get it out of both their names. Divorce is alot- if your friend agreed to have a baby with someone with no strings attached… that means you can’t get upset about his current strings. Especially, if he’s separated .
Wait did he get her pregnant while he was married or before if before leave it alone.
Also I’d be upfront and tell her straight up, that you had no clue about anything, that you just found out and let her know.
Tell her!!! Another baby could possibly be brought into this world by this guy. Let her decide if she wants to leave him BEFORE she ends up getting pregnant. Then maybe he can go be with your friend and be around for his good. It’s better for everyone involved.
Jane deserves to know so that she can find a man that deserves to be her children’s father. That’s sneaky and so shitty
Damm to bad Lucy knows that you know it’s your neighbor. I would have kept quite and slipped Jane the info. I’d also watch my man around Lucy…
Your friend Lucy didn’t know it was him and according to him they were on break.
I’d confront John and tell him he needs to come clean. It’s not your place to let Jane know.
Say something. Secrets always come out, and I’d want to know. I might be upset and have to circle back around but Would ALWAYS be glad I knew.
Definitely tell her. If I were in her shoes I would want to know (especially if they are trying to conceive).
You “shouldn’t do anything” because it’s TRULY none of your business! You have your own partner and life to worry about!!!
It’s definitely not your place to say anything. I’d leave it to Lucy and John to make the decision, also she stated that John and Jane were separated when this happened.
If John is capable of this… what else would he be capable of? Especially, if he doesn’t want his wife to know. Clearly, this man wants to eat his cake too. Just be very careful how you approach this situation and if you do choose to confront him… don’t be alone. Talk to your husband about it 1st too so that it’s not a big surprise to him if you choose to let the wife/John know etc… just be very careful
Would you wanna know? Most of us would. I would meet with her privately and explain how it was discovered her husband was the same man Lucy met. And I would no longer be friends with Lucy. One for what she did and 2 I couldn’t trust her around my family anymore.
I agree with most of these ppl that the wife should know ONLY because there is a child involved and you consider her a friend…however…possibly to save face…write her a letter and leave in her mailbox signed anonymous…good luck…
If she really is a good friend, I would tell her… It will really hurt her if she finds out and then also finds out that you knew and didn’t say anything… Would you want her to tell you if your husband had gotten another woman pregnant?
How would you feel if that was your husband getting your friend pregnant and your other couples friend who you were really close with new about all of it and never said anything? it’s pretty obvious let that poor girl know the truth so she can move on
She’s eventually going to find out. I’d tell her before she gets pregnant by the dirt bag!
Stay out of the problem because its not your fault your friend has crossed the line.
I’d tell Lucy to say something or talk to John give him a chance to step up. Who knows what the wife does or doesn’t know and the whole story.
I would casually have a conversation with the neighbor girl like does your husband have any kids? Maybe she knows but if she responds no than it’s time to spill the tea
Think about if you were Jane, how would you want someone to tell you? How would you take it? What could be done to ease the pain? Someone is about to be really hurt, don’t be dramatic and don’t be an asshole, this could potentially be their whole life getting ruined with a single decision.
Not your place to say anything.
Its grown adults place to be honest and say hey, i f**ked your spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend and they ended up having a child out of it.
When neighbors, family, friends start sticking thier nose into other business it causes more drama then is needed.
Stay out of it and it asked just say your not involved and the neighbors can do as they see fit.
I would absolutely tell Jane. Yes, it will probably ruin the friendship but what kind of relationship could it be when you’re carrying a secret this big?
I’d write her a letter and put in mailbox that way you told her and the guilt is. Gone and she can come tell you about it and then u can. Go on. About how you. Thought something was up and act like iu didn’t write it
That would be a game ended for me as that mans wife. He’s been trying to have a baby with another woman for a year ?! So, having sex with her for a year? Another woman. Trying to have a baby. This all sounds too much like a tv series like bug love or something
Call John on the carpet and make him tell his wife and if he doesn’t then you tell Lucy if she doesn’t tell the wife you’re telling the wife or else you’re not a good friend
I think I would I would tell the wife about it, have the pictures available. Kinda bad deal for both in this. He lied to both of them.
Mind your business. I know you wanna say something, I would want to say something also, but in the end it’ll just backfire on you. Someone will somehow make it your fault. Or you can always talk to the guy and tell him man up. But you do know this WILL come out. Stuff like that ALWAYS come out.
I would invite your neighbors over for dinner and then invite your friend also… oops then its out on the open.
Sounds like that’s how Lucy met John was at your house
If your husband had a baby with another woman and a relationship you wouldn’t like your friend to let you know? Just keep looking stupid? I doubt it. Tell her.
Tell the husband that you know his mistress. That because of it, you are now incomfortable with the info. Give him the option to tell her himself, since he has been caught now. Tell him if he doesn’t you will. He will tell her. That way, it comes from him, and you don’t need to get involved.
It’s not your business. It isn’t right but mind your business and let adults handle their own situations and deal with the consequences. I’m sure you don’t know every detail. People need to stay to themselves and handle what is in between your walls.
Comin from 2 sides of this story…I’d want to know if my man got someone else preg…on the flip…I’m glad my ex didn’t know until I was ready to leave (I was scared he’d get violent and I didn’t want the kids involved in anymore of the mess they were in)…while you may know your neighbors and maybe they are good people…but some people are great at putting on a show and you don’t know what skeletons are hiding in the closet…
Call him out in private and say you know and that he better get this shit figured out and that you’re done with them because you can’t look his wife in the face.
I’m confused how you good friends with both but John didn’t see Lucy at your house and vice versa for so long? Wtaf
No it is clearly not your business but I feel like this is something that definitely needs to be said to the both of them in front of each other so there’s no he said she said kind of thing and everything gets solved and aired out and one go instead of multiple different stressful situations. This is absolutely something that needs to be said you guys are friends that gives you the door open to say something and you should as a friend. Especially after Jane confiding in you about the kids situation and he has a kid that he’s not telling her about. If it was you would you want to know
You are involved, so you need to say something. There is nothing else like too many people knowing this dirty secret within your relationship/marriage and no one saying anything about it. It’s humiliating and rude. Tell her!
Part of me wants to say don’t say anything because it never ends well for the messenger, but if it were me I would want to know. I would be really angry knowing you knew for a long time and never told me especially if we lived right next-door. I would’ve felt like a huge idiot for however long you know and the longer you know the worse or more humiliated I would feel.
Write an anonymous letter and make sure the wife (neighbor, your friend) gets it?
This is a tough one. I would want to know so I can make a decision. But, I think you should tell John you know. And hopefully he will come clean to his WIFE!
Tell her I would . how would you feel if it was happening to you
You could tell her and have consequences or you could lie and have consequences so miles well bite the bullet and tell her
Please tell Jane. It’s going to come out anyway, it always does. And then it’s gonna be worse because Jane is gonna find out you knew
If Jane is a good friend you should tell her. Would you want Jane to tell you if the situation were reversed?
I would stay out of the mess completely. Move on with my many problems…
I would want to know if my husband was making me look like a fool. That’s just me though. I’d tell her.
This isn’t your place, Lucy should tell her if anyone does but I’d mind my own business
If it was my husband I sure would hope my neighbor/friend would tell me. I think I’d tell John that I know and either he tells his wife or you do.
Convince Jane and John to come clean with everyone, this is their issue not your story to tell. They need to be Adults about this serious situation and just be honest. But definitely not your place to get involved.
I would tell her because that’s a horrible secret to hide from a friend
As someone who has been through this, I would tell her. no questions asked. Wouldn’t you want to know if this had happened to you?
I would not want someone in my life who wouldn’t tell me! How is that even a question if she’s your friend?!
“What happens in the dark will always come to the light”
It’s time the wife knows what’s been going on. No one deserves this kind of betrayal.
Put yourself in her shoes, would you rather she told you or would you rather not know?
Tell Jane for sure… she definitely needs to know, put yourself in her shoes wouldnt you want to know ?
TELL HER! For gods sake. Why would you let her continue being with this guy ?
Soooo does John see the child?!?
I stopped at the first sentence. Not your circus not your monkeys. Unless of course the neighbor is YOUR spouse
Either way your gonna lose the friends but I would feel bad if I didn’t say anything