Make your last name his middle name . Think of this, filling out forms and paperwork and computer info , most applications don’t have room for two last names… more than likely it will only have room for the first last name.
She who births and caries the child gets final say in the name.
Your maiden name as the child’s middle name.
Maybe use the your part of the name as part of a middle name
If it was already agreed upon it seems wrong to back out now.
I used my maiden name as my son’s middle name
Maybe your maiden name can be his middle name.
I wish I had hyphenated my daughter’s last name.
You fill out the birth certificate in the hospital,put what he agreed to!
Would you be satisfied using your maiden name as the child’s first name instead of the hyphenated version . Just a suggestion
If he understands the true reason behind it… then id say do it anyway…
I got married twice and never changed my name. But when I went to the hospital to deliver my son I hyphenated my husband name…
I like the idea putting your last name as his middle name and your husbands last name as his last name
could your last name be a middle name
You want to give your kids different last names?!?
Use your maiden name as his middle name. The surname will honour your husband and the middle name will honour your side of the family.
A deal is a deal - the real issue here is how can you trust your husband if he doesn’t keep his word?
Use your maiden name as the child’s middle name.
Hyphenated names are a nightmare. Don’t do it.
Why doesn’t he want to now? What’s the husbands view?
Give his middle name your maiden name. That is an option. It’s kind of old fashioned.
Hyphenate it then why’s he get to decide when you already agreed?
Stick with your plan
You BOTH decided on it for a good reason!
Is your maiden name one that could become a first or middle name as a compromise?
Can your maiden name work as a middle?
They used to name the first name for the maternal gdad
You are doing the pushing and that was the plan. Stick to your “guns”
If y’all agreed prior he shouldn’t back out
You are having a son with your husband! His last name for sure, what is your issue?
Siuthern tradition is to use your maden name as dons middle name
Hyphenated names are so cliche
Stick to ur original plan and hyphenate or you will regret it for the rest of your life.
Oh how things have changed, and not necessarily for the better.
Just do it. You fill out the birth certificate anyways
Do not hyphen a boy’s name. Period.
You fill out the birth certificate
Girl do the hyphen I’m sure your husband will get over it soon
I agree with your husband
He agreed to it. He should not now backpeddle on you.
I’d stick to my guns.
My philosophy in marriage & when differences arise…ask yourself " is this worth the end of my marriage"?
If not talk about a fair compromise. Others suggest using your name as the middle name - and its in keeping with the jist of your reasoning. One other consideration - if your SON is appearing to get a special name to satisfy what you feel is so important - don’t you wonder if your daughter could/would feel slighted and less special than her brother? Whatever you decide - I hope it is all worth it in the end.
I had never heard of this , hyphenating.
Have your last name as his middle name
You had an agreement. He needs to stick to it. Period.
If that was the agreement that was the agreement. A child only taking the father’s name is an archaic practice. I would hold your ground.
Do what you planned to do. He already agreed to it!!!
I still have my ex-husbands last name. Back in the past, the name passed down was also associated with property and legacy. This isn’t the 1800s anymore and traditionally, the children would take the father’s name anyway. You have cousins? The names passed on. I think you’re good. Hyphenating is a pain in the ass for most kids anyway. What if your son just had daughters? I just wouldn’t put that much into it.
I got some interesting information I never knew from reading these comments. Many people make the maiden name the child’s middle name. Thank you all for sharing!
Good Lord ,how complicated can you get already?
I think that it might cause a problem down the road .Of course I have been told I look for the worst to happen.With me it happens yhe worst.I think so their won’t be any problems I would put my husband last name.So incase their is problems down the road.If you should happen to get a divorce …he might get remarried.Has kids then down the road when he passes away and might say my kids I leave this this etc.His next kids has his last name snd your kids font snd maybe both might be past away.If they have to ho to court…they your kids try to fight them in court they don’t have a leg to stand on.I wouldn’t think.It eould be kind of hard to explane to the judge and lawyers why your kids didn’t have his last name,but his second wife’s kids has his last name. The kids might know the story but it sounds kind of crazy.Most woman want thrir kids to have their dads last name and wife’s sldo.I know from another country they change the last name to the husband’s first name.Myselfbi reither be safe than dorru.Now this is my feeling only.you never know down the road what can happen
You’ll might not ever get a divorce.,but I Reither be safe
Odd that women who bare the child, and raise it, are left out as having the childs last name. Can you imagine what men would say, if they gave birth to the child, and the women’s last name is the law for the child? Funny.
You carry it, you name it.
The mother gets to fill out the birth certificate so do that
Wow your culture is so different…where I’m from you marry, you take your husband’s last name and the kids Belong to his family and there is no debate about their last names. Only if you are unmarried can you have this discussion of surnames, even then he must be totally uninvolved
My dad has 2 boys(neither have kids and are single are 31 and 35 so may never have kids). I have 3, a boy and 2 girls. My oldest daughter i gave 2 middle names. A name chosen and hyphenated with my maiden name. He passed almost 3 yrs ago and she is so in love with having his last name in her name. So much, my other 2 asked me to add the hyphenated name to their middle names lol. Maybe you could do it in the middle so to go on in some sense but yet respect your husband as well.
My grandfather had no sons so my mother gave me, her first born (daughter) his name Lee as my middle name and I gave it to my child as her middle name and she gave it to her child the name will continue on in that manner. My sister didn’t receive the name but she also gave the name to her child and so one so the name has branched out in that direction as well. We haven’t been blessed with sons in our family until 5 years ago on my side and 28 years on my sisters side. My grandfather passed at age 92 but his name lives on through us
Your kid is gonna b all about the stupid name and not a person … you’ll look up and see forever this issue kid never gonna get a chance your spending his life simmering over the name you dont like
I did the same with my daughter and all I can say is that hyphenated names are a pain. It has caused problems for her. Drop the hyphen and use your last name as a second or third name with his father’s surname. Your child will thank you for it later.
I don’t get this. There is no unique last name that must be carried on. You are not the LAST ONE of anything. There are millions more. And ALL surnames came from male lineage. Wilson, Johnson… not Wildaughter, Johndaughter. Stuff like this divides people, instead of uniting. What difference does it really make in the end?
Youre growing the baby going thru all the pain that comes with I think you deserve to have your way on this one! He will get over it.
Use your maiden name as his middle name
I work with young adults. Believe me, they get tired of explaining their names.
Use your maiden name as his middle name
Make his first name your maiden name.
Make his middle name your maiden name.
I think hyphenated names are way too long and complicated. It’s just a name, pick one.
He should also have his dads name.
Have a serious discussion.
Stop hyphenating. Absolute bs.
Go with a mom’s heart:pray:
Well, I’m lazy and didn’t give my last 2 kids a middle name😂 I hate finding baby names🤣 good luck!
Nothing lasts forever. I would keep all names of siblings tje same to unify them as they grow
Whatever you did for kid #1 you should do with kid #2. I think it will be more confusing for your family as a whole if your children have the same but different last names.
My friends maiden name is Emerson and she had no brothers to carry on the last name when she had her first child she names her Emerson and we call her Emmy…is there anyway you could incorporate your last name into a middle name or first name?
When you marry you take his name do not burden your child with the extra my husband has the extra baggage and hates it so does everyone I know stuck with this remember your heritage by teaching tradition to pass down threw family
I did this with mine. My father was the last male heir in our family. Me being his only child and a girl he name would not have gone on. My son has my father’s last name. We divorced when he was little. And no he could not fight me on this either nor could the courts. Your husband might be upset for a little while but he will calm and eventually understand you didn’t want your family name to die out. It means something
My first child is hyphenated with my exes name my middle just has my last name and my newest son has his hyphenated with my so all different see names but still a family, I have my personal reasons, your baby’s and your choice for first middle and last name
If the baby doesn’t have the same surname as your daughter, people will assume it’s not yours, but just his. Stick with the hyphenated one as you agreed. Just please don’t give the kid a hyphenated first name!
The name won’t live on very long. People don’t have triple last names. That name would get dropped.
Before my husband and I got married, our son took both last names, then I got married and have both last names and now our daughter has both last names. It was very important to me to have my last name and my husband wasn’t going to push the issue since he knew I was passionate about it. Maybe explain your reasoning again to your husband and how important it is to you
It is what it is about the maiden name ending…go with the same last for your son as your daughter. Will make their connection better in the long run. ( i do get how you feel but same last names will be better…my opinion)
My first child got my husband’s stepdad’s last name hyphenated with my maiden name and the next 2 got my (step)father in laws last name. Just because we dont share a name doesnt make us not family. My kids dont care and the only confusion is my youngest thinking she has a hyphenated name because her big brother does. It is entirely up to you and your husband, I think I’d sit him down and have a chat about why he changed his mind and come to an agreement you can both live with. Alot of people give the mothers maiden name as a middle name and if works great. In the end it’s your child and you two will pick the best name for your child
Look at my last name. Fb took out the hyphen and had to drop a letter to fit it, even lowercasing the 2nd name. I hated it. My husband says that I married him for a shorter name. Learning to spell it in kindergarten was rough, especially since 2 of my kids teachers added random letters and taught them to misspell their own name, and had to be re-taught the correct spelling before 1st grade. None of my siblings go by both names, except on legal documents. Just things to consider, coming from someone who grew up with a 26 letter name.
The beauty of Islam is that we don’t get to change our name when married
Personally, considering your first child has only his last name, I would do that with the second child as well but use your maiden as his middle. You both somewhat win. Making kids have different last names, esp when they share the same parents, seems like it will end up confusing anyway and if you already changed your game plan once for your daughter, not giving her the hyphenated name, why not do it again for your son? I just don’t understand, don’t attack me.
I wouldn’t want my kids to have last names that don’t match? I would either go with the original plan to hyphenate and fix your daughters last name or let it go and maybe use it as a middle name I have siblings with different last names and growing up it gets annoying when people (schools, friends, etc) ask why
I’m a believer in carrying on family last name. My maiden name would hve ended with my father but I gave my son my last name and sweet-talked my ex into letting m keep it. When my husband adopts my son he will not be changing his last name so that the name can be carried on.
Why don’t u just double barrel both surnames for ur child then they have both and b done with it
You broke the agreement with the first. Need to keep last name same, now. You can still use your dad’s last name for middle name?
Think about school wise…most teachers will teach the last name right now both the last names plus its hard for kids to learn all that…just to have your last name included…
I am the last with my family name
And…
My daughter has her father’s last name, bc she is her father’s child. There are always cousins etc that will end up carrying out your family name. It may not be carried out by “you” but it will more than likely still be carried out. I dont like the hyphenated name thing, that’s just me. And I didnt change my name this go round, now my daughter wonders why my last name is different, imagine how she would feel if she had a sibling with a still somewhat different? And as other people have said think about how the name and names you puck, since none are picked which i find odder than anything, but once again your deal, how does it all sound when put together.
How long is the first and hyphenated last name take up on paper when printing your name on everything as you are beginning to write. I say this bc my last name has 13 letters and took up a lit of room, even more when I was learning to write in school.
Can you use your last name as a middle name for your new baby? That way it can still be passed along?
So far the majority of people with hyphenated last names that didn’t choose it hate it. I know a lot of people that chose it and hate it later too.
My foster son has a hyphenated last name and honestly hates it. Most places school included as well as the court system only use the name after the hyphen. He didn’t realize that he had 2 parts to his last name until very recently and he is 7
Have your maiden name be his middle name. I hyphenated my boys name, so I’m all for it. If your husband is dead set against it a. Using it as a middle name is an alternative
My oldest has a hyphenated last name and my youngest has just their dads last name. We asked my oldest if he wanted to change his name and he said he likes his name. He is very proud of all 4 names! Go with your gut. You might get questions on why he has a hyphenated name and your daughter doesn’t but it’s up to you if you want to explain that to every teacher/school.
Make the middle name your maiden name. No hyphenation. Kids can choose to change their names when they get older.
Don’t do a middle name do first and then both last names. This way it’s a win win. It will fit on paper work but both names go on
We all hyphenate and I’m sorry but if my three and five-year-olds can figure it out I’m pretty sure a teacher at school can.
so use your maiden name as child middle name and use husbands last name as as childs.