Narcissistic … I been there…
No, you’re NOT BEING TOO SENSITIVE!! HE’S BEHAVING LIKE A NARCISSISTIC ASSHOLE. If it’s been longer than a year, and the mortgage has not been sold to another company - have YOUR NAME added to the Deed. There’s no charge to do so (some counties do have a small administration fee $25 or under). If he says no … it’s time for you to go. You’re being treated like you’re less of a person by the person who is supposed to be treating you the best. Single Moms can, have and will continue to raise families on their own - having a PARTNER TO HELP is awesome, but he’s lost his mind.
He is not joking, he is abusive (NARCISSISTIC)and it will only get worse
I would tell him that you do have a full time job as a full service housekeeper, chef and launder service. And if he thinks it would be cheaper to hire all those things instead, and you go to work, then get on it, if not, stop “joking” because its fucking annoying (excuse the language but sometimes with these asshats its required). If you normally take a kinder approach, get nasty about it once and let him be mad. Hold your ground, ghost him for an afternoon and do not apologize for being pissy about it. Summon that inner bratty bitch and let her work. Especially since you’ve asked him nicely to knock it off before.
You’re not being sensitive, he’s being an asshole
He is a selfish controlling poor excuse of a husband!!!
I say leave as soon as possible
Get yourself a new man!,
Gurrrrrrrl! Start saving the leftover market money. Get a credit card in your name, start establishing your credit. Have a cash stash in the baby’s room (diaper genie) just in case you need to flee. Stay as long as you can handle, but this unhealthy behavior and will only escalate. Been there done that. (In the nicest way possible) don’t be a weak bitch! GET OUT!
Guy sounds like an asshole. “It’s my vagina the baby came from so it makes it my child! 
So where is my child support?”
He an asshole…yes your husband is an asshole
Start joking about the size of his penis and make sure he knows you’re just joking and see if he gets the joke. Then get upset when he gets upset and make sure you remind him again you’re just joking. I bet he will get the picture REAL quick.
He is definitely gaslighting.
Sounds like my ex and that’s no joke he’s putting you down making you feel bad like it’s all your fault no it’s not get out before he destroys you . You are allowed to feel don’t let him talk bullshit . I spent 16 years it’s all roses until it isn’t anymore you end up loosing yourself .
Hes a selfish asshole and it aint a joke
Narcissistic abuse. It’s gaslighting. Start a go fund me. I’ll share. I’ll donate. I know many that will and secure a deposit for a good lawyer and make him pay you to live in his house. Fuck him!
Okay. So the first time it’s a joke. Or maybe even the second. But to continue to bring it up really isn’t cool. He should respect your feelings and not say shit like that.
Get a very strong will.
He’s gaslighting you.
Soooo you dont have to use your credit score to be on the house, just the mortgage. Im not on our mortgage- but I am on the house deed. Soubds like a dick- tell him to pay for daycare for HIS child then. Oh its yours too? Well how about figure half the bills then what he would pay for maid, cook, etc and half daycare. Asshole. Maybe start making comments how it might not be his kid and tell him to learn to take a joke when he gets pissy.
He needs to knock that
Shit
Off!
Not funny he should shut the fuck up!
Um babe. Divorce his ass. Sounds like a narcissist in training. But just know, when you stepped down and let him take control of everything…he knew exactly what he was doing. Marital property isnt marital property unless both names are on it and its paid off, you arent entitled to shit but child support, regardless…get out now before it gets worse.
It’s a form of financial abuse to talk like that , from my exsperence when we split I was left with literally nothing he did the same thing joked about how it must be nice to stay in nice home while he is out breaking his back I offered to trade places many many many times. Everything in his name was the trust I gave him and everything was gone the second he was. I strongly beilive that jokes of that nature are underlining notions of how someone really feels without looking like a asshole. Best of luck that kind of control dinamic is toxic
how do i say this diplomatically, he is an asshole.
Not okay! He is either a really insensitive jerk wad, or he is telling you in a passive-aggressive way that he doesn’t place a monetary value on what you do. Nip this shit in the bud and don’t be a doormat for him to wipe his immature cow pies on. Stand up to this emotional abuse!
Awe, I’m so sorry… 
That is definitely gaslighting. Just have him read all these responses! Lol
I’m a SAHM. It’s a thankless job sometimes. Not ok to make you feel like shit and unimportant or undervalued.
He is being a male chauvinist pig
He is gaslighting you and you 100% have reason to be upset. Even if the first time he said something like that it was a joke, the fact that he knows it upsets you and he continues to “joke” about it is seriously a red flag. The fact that hes even joking about it and keeps looking at things as “his” versus both of yalls means that it IS on his mind. Thats not how marriage works. I dont give a shit if you are working or not, legally whats his is yours and vice versa so hes not only insensitive but he’s also dead wrong. The house isnt his alone nor are any other assets.
He is a narcissist and an asshat. Leave and go out like a bitch on wheels. Nail his balls to the porch like a set of wind chimes. Trust me. I was where you are now. The fact that he doesn’t acknowledge your worth now is the foreshadowing for what is to come.
He’s gaslighting you
It’s bullshit because If you were working he would STILL SHIT ON YOU , it just how it goes when men like this
I am a sahm and I would be so pissed if my husband ever said anything like this. Give him a bill for childcare, housecleaning, laundry service, meal prep and all the other shit you do. Tell him to get off his high horse 
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I would “jokingly” remind him that the alimony and child support he’ll be paying if he keeps up the bullshit will, in fact, be alllllllllll yours 
Your feelings are valid and I’d be pissed/hurt too.
Sounds like he is a control asshole but if your married you own half of everything he does and it goes both ways!
Better stop cooking in his house stop cleaning in his house im sure in his house he has a washer and drawer in his house he right its his so let his ass clean it up and rent ir room with ur baby in his house hes a bunch of shit
Seems like a straight up asshat. And a form of emotional abuse. The fact that you’ve continually told him his comments hurt you and he continues is disturbing. Then makes you feel like shit about it? Fck that clown
He means every damn word when he says, what he says! He ain’t joking! You better get out your feelings and get a job when you can! He knew exactly what he was after when that conversation of you staying home came up! Everything is His! It’s His house! His child! His car! His everything! And society wonders why some women Never submit to this bullshit! He knows that he Owns you, now! You have to depend on him for everything! To each his own, but that has never been me nor never will be! Like WTF?
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He’s an idiot. Byeeee! I’m a SAHM and my husband would never!
Your time is not free, especially if your are the stay at home mom, doing all the chores and hes doesnt have to worry about any of that then it should be equal. Your not being over sensitive about his “jokes” if he doesnt understand that its hurtful to you to say those things even as a joke then hes just being a straight up asshole
Girl… I’m about to OUT MYSELF. I make more money than my hubby. He’s military, we’re not “married” yet. So he doesn’t get the extra money for dependent/housing. I from time to time mention that I pay for everything. Not meaning to. I just was sooooo used to being alone. And being proud of myself. I don’t mean to “degrade” him. But it happens. Now, I also have been on the other end of someone saying that they “own” everything and it was his way of making sure I knew I wasn’t shit without him. 
He is gaslighting u.
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Hes gaslighting you and belittling you
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Tell him to fuck off and die, loser.
It should very selfish man
Sometimes you just gotta be a btch.
Tell him the next time he makes a joke regarding the finances or anything to do with you being a stay at home mom, you will walk out the door that second and go apply for jobs and he can find a nanny.
If he argues, say "I told you to stop multiple times. Now I’m pssed and I’m not kidding about this."
And follow through.
I’ve been a stay at home mom and a working mom and staying at home was way harder. It’s a LOT. he should be kissing your feet.
My fiance bought a truck and asked me to co-sign. When I got there after work to finish, it had my name in the main signee spot, not co-signer spot. I’m all the time telling him how “I have a truck AND a Durango now, where’s your car” 
“I can’t believe I have 2 vehicles now” “Let’s go for a ride in MY truck” lmao
We think it’s funny 
But never has he asked me to stop giving him shit like that and I keep doing it. That’s where your husband is in the wrong. It’s not funny unless both party’s think it is.
Your husband is a selfish abusive asshole who has zero respect for you.
Oh honey he’s gaslighting and an asshole. Go find a job and a new life without him. You’ll be able to have the last laugh.
I’m sorry but screw that! I’d have him keep all his own shit and then go off and find my own. What a jerk!!!
Tell him fine, we can get a divorce and he will lose half of " HIS" house and have to pay you alimony and child support so he better decide what is more important to him…he can either bring you down and make you feel like shit until he loses you or be a good husband, a good father and treat you right.
Also ask him if he would be ok with a guy saying these things to his daughter.
Girl NEVER depend on a man or anyone for that matter. Go get your own that way he cant say shit else to you.
My daughter works because her 
husband always will say I work it’s my money you dont.work …on there wedding day they got money and gifts he bought stuff for him saying his family gave most of the money…they have 3 young boys …and she is tired but knows how he is and doesn’t want to deal with his shit
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Your feelings are valid, and he is being an asshole.
Uhm, I am a stay at home mom and my husband takes care of 99.9% of everything. He never makes those kind of remarks, ever. If your husband is making these comments and gets annoyed that they hurt your feelings, I feel like those “jokes” are his true feelings. That’s exactly how I would take it. I put forth a lot in this house, but I didn’t always. My husband always picked up the slack where it was needed and never said a word. Never threw it in my face, made me feel bad about it or anything. Your husband needs to take your feelings into consideration. And he needs to understand what you put forth. Ugh, I hate jerks like that. Don’t take his shit!
Ummm talk to him about it
That’s an asshole move. If he didn’t feel that way, he wouldn’t be saying it.
Make him clean it, cook it, pay for it, repair it, and care for it…and I mean all things and sit yo ass down. He will change all that shit up
Fuck him. Leave him & show him how you can do it on your own… asshole
That is mental abuse
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He’s a gaslighting AH.
I would promptly get a job. Any job.
And your own bank account.
Who’s laughing now
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He’s not joking he’s being an asshole
He’s 100% being an asshole and gaslighting you! He does not get to invalidate your feelings because he’s “joking”. Not to mention, a SAHM mom would make WAY more than he does if she was paid the appropriate wage and OT for each of her jobs.
This is not joking. If you have told him how this makes you feel and he keeps on doing it, he’s not joking! Start preparing yourself.
Saying it one time is a joke. Anything more than that is just insulting. Ask your husband to switch with you for a couple days, then he might appreciate what you do. You are a very hard situation, praying for you. Good luck
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Sounds like a cruel narcissist. Check the laws in your state concerning community property and also your legal rights as a stay at home Mom. He is being emotionally abusive and that is often a step towards physical abuse. Stand up for yourself when it comes to decision about property, expenses, the children and your rights as his partner. Consult an attorney if you don’t feel safe.
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Hes feeding off your reaction… its hard,but laugh don’t give it to him, make him feel stupid. Say, I’m not responsible for your opinion!
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Male ego! Just play the game its easier! 
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I’d start calling the kid MY kid because I’m staying home and doing the work. It’s MY kitchen because I’m cooking the meals. He should be respecting your feelings
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My mum advised us girls as children in the 60 and 70’s never depend on a man to “keep you”. She was very wise and I never forgot. Please get yourself access to independence. Take care
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No you are not and he’s gaslighting you. Tell him you’re going back to work as soon as soon as the baby is old enough for daycare so that you can have all your own stuff since everything belongs to him. Everything is not a joke and your husband shouldn’t be making jokes at the expense of your feelings. He in fact should buy you things, ask you if you’re okay and make you feel included in everything. I’ve never been married and I can barely get a man to commit because my standards are too high but I promise you that’s not what you deserve. God bless you and I hope things get better or I hope better finds you. Please don’t let him continue to hurt your feelings. You’re already dealing with enough taking care of the house and baby with what seems like no true partnership. There’s no I in team but there’s damn sure one in divorce.
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My husband and I purchased our home before we got married. He put the mortgage in his name alone, but we are both on the deed. It’s our house and he pays the mortgage, its OUR house. I picked it out, I decorated it, I clean it and that’s what a marriage is. We share everything, never saying things are “mine” even if its a joke. That’s hurtful. Put your foot down and tell him to stop.
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This pisses me off. He gets to go work and not have to spare a moment of his thoughts on making sure his child is safe because he knows you are there. He gets to come home to a clean house, laundry washed and folded, bills paid and checkbook balanced, refrigerator full of his favorite things, home cooked meals and even lunch prepared for the next day. He doesn’t have to wake to feed/change/sooth a crying infant every night. He doesn’t have to take time off work to go to the pediatrician for shots & check ups or when baby’s sick with the mumps or scarlet fever. All these things cost money and he’s saving a boatload by you working for free. He should be grateful that you do what you do, because I highly doubt he would be able to handle it for more than a week or two without losing his mind. How Much Is a Homemaker Worth?
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My husband says he isn’t really “joking” and he says you’re absolutely not overreacting! AND I AGREE! Especially because it was a mutual decision. Let him take care of the house, baby, and daily duties. See how long he thinks your time isn’t valuable. It truly sounds like he just needs a little help understanding that YOU are the one that makes it all possible. Sometimes there are things more valuable than a paycheck. Good luck.
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How hurtful! Do keep house? Feed him? If you do that and much more, you’ve earned the right to buy something for yourself. You matter!!!
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Certainly u have a right to feel hurt and u are not being sensitive. He’s the one being InSensitive! I am in the same situation and one day I just snapped and I broke down and sobbed to my husband. And told him how fearful and resentful I was. Cos he has a job. He’s making money for us. I feel bad he’s paying for stuff. I feel insecure I’m not making money for MYSELF. When the kids are grown Up, I will end up old and haggard with no money to my name.
And also cos I’m home all the time ppl just expect me to naturally clean and take care of everything at home.
He was taken aback and went quiet. Things got better after tat. U need to tell him if it bothers u tat much. Both of u are working as a team to bring up a family. If u are holding a job as well, he would have to do half the house chore. Is he willing to do tat? Certainly he can’t expect a woman to be working full time and still cleaning up and chasing after kids after work hours.
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Instead of him coming to you he does these little jabs. Although sometimes it is possible to live with a one income house hold but maybe it’s him telling you that he needs help financially because it could be taking its toll on him.
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This is not ok in my opinion and if you’ve made it known that you don’t find it funny then he should respect that. You shouldn’t even have to tell him. It’s inconsiderate of him. I started out with my wife and she was the SAHM then we switched because it was time for her career. I became a SAHF for several years but we are now separated. I still want to support her though in her career
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If it’s bothering you, he should stop doing it. Regardless of whether he thinks he’s joking, if it’s hurtful to you then he shouldn’t make those “jokes.” Try to have this conversation with him when you’re both in a decent mood, not when he’s just made another comment and you’re upset. It will help avoid miscommunication and more hurt feelings.
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Honestly sounds like gaslighting.My ex-husband did the same amd when we separated he went as far as taking my tampons because according to him they were “his” because he paid for them. I’d definitely say if it can’t be worked through in a mature level leave before it gets worse It was the best decision I made. Looking back I can absolutely see how controlling he was and it was TERRIBLE.
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Sounds like a power trip on his part…
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First off, everything is in his name, technically you are homeless. 2nd, snide, cruel, comments, is his first attempts at bringing your self-esteem down. Next, will come isolation from family and friends. Run like hell, while you still have your sanity.
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I hope even if the mortgage is in his name, the house is in both your names.
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Yea nope. My ex did this it took me 7 yrs a lot of verbal and some physical abuse to realize he’s was a narcissist. But if you are legally married then just casually joke half is yours. Def look for an exit
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If it’s HIS house, I would start charging him for cleaning services, personal chef services and childcare. See how well he affords HIS house after all of that.
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Simply tell him that it bothers you. I think he’s probably sincerely joking and doesn’t realize how much it hurts. If he continues after you express your feelings, then you have an issue. IMO. Also, work on your credit while you’re a SAHM. I have zero income, and have been a sahm for 7 years. And I’ve managed to build an excellent credit score. Add yourself as an authorized user to his cards. Or open a reverse credit card. We recently traded in one of our vehicles and put the new one primarily in my name and him as a cosigner. Smart in every aspect
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You need to get a job, Pronto. Your husband is hurtful and he isn’t going to stop. You can’t trust him. You need to have some kind of financial independence.
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This is ridiculous and undermining your marriage. Please ensure you have your own savings account for some of your own money. My husband and I have been married almost 9 years and each have our own accounts as well as a joint one. This is not someone who is thinking in partnership with you.
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Sounds to me like he equates money with power. If you live in a state that honors community property, I’d “jokingly” remind him of that.
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Many a truth is said in jest. Send him a detailed invoice for his 50% share of the cost of your time raising his children and another full invoice for your housekeeping duties on his house.
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Jokingly proclaim that amount in daycare, housekeeping, chef prep n cookn you saved “his” ass and take that total away from his total. Bet it comes out to more
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It’s emotional abuse and needs to stop. It’s hurtful. If you told him it bothers you he should honor that and stop doing it.
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Definitely a huge red flag
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Even if your name is not on the loan, it can still be put on the house deed. I know several couples who have done this. And a credit score difference of 25 points usually doesn’t make that much of a difference. Please protect yourself.
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I would say ok the house is in your name so i guess its not mine but i stay home and take care of these kids so i guess theyre my kids and not yours. I know im petty af lol but id be putting him in his place
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Whatever you do, don’t take advice from people on Facebook. Confide in someone who really wants you and your marriage to succeed but also is rooted in reality if it doesn’t. Get off Facebook now!
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He is deliberately demeaning you. That is a form of abuse.
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