Wow trust issues need to worked out. Not taken out on children
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I see everyone is passing up the part about him saying she can’t go 
is there a pass problem with the ex and you? If not then it’s more to his story 
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Uhhh, so what your saying is your controlling and dramatic ?
Let them co parent.
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It will always be a problem it was for me
If you know you are secure. Than fine but if you do .than get rid of him.
We had 2 party’s
Its HIS childs birthday dont be so selfish and ruin it because he dose not want you around.
If you are that insecure in your marriage then you should not be married.
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Grow up that is his kid you can not make him miss party because he told you no to you coming
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I agree with you. Either you go with him or you guys have a separate party at your place. That’s how me n my EX have always done it, my family has a party and his family has one a separate day. Same with my step son. It just don’t sound right that he wouldn’t want u to go.
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If its because of the childs mother then she should have some acceptance. And ur husband should be taking you. If not, whats wrong w doing it on ur guys terms at ur house? The lid will appreciate 2 partys. Im sure lol
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Anyone stop to think that maybe the son expressed to his mom or his dad he wanted both his parents at his party…
If that were the case then as a father he should absolutely go and if his ex isn’t comfortable with you in her home so be it.
That is their child together and although it sucks to be excluded which I admit, I would feel hurt and frustrated also, but it’s about that little boy and his birthday.
I would imagine it would bring him so much joy for just one day have his mom and dad at his birthday party.
Sometimes we have to forgo our adult feeling and situations and look at it from that tiny humans perspective.
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I think its weird he doesnt want you to go. My husband has 2 children from a previous relationship, he refuses to go to his ex’s house for parties. Even though we both get invited he doesnt want me to feel uncomfortable. We just throw then a party at our house. We have the boys 50/50.
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I think if your married it should not matter there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to go your his wife and you guys are a family period it has nothing to do with being secure or not it’s respect .Maybe the ex still has feelings and wants to have that feeling of family with your husband some woman are like that they can’t let go and still try to have that control over their child’s father . Going to her house alone for a party is an ununcomfortable situation why not have his wife and everyone under the same roof to celebrate
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If you can’t go, he shouldn’t even think about going. Have a party.
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If you can’t trust your husband to go to his sons birthday, your relationship has much bigger issues than a party…
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No I think it wierd he won’t at least see if u can go. Fishy he’s straight up saying no.
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It’s his kids birthday! No one will ever stop me from doing anything to do with my kids period!! Maybe there’s a reason he dnt want you to go. Maybe the son don’t want you to come🤷🏽♀️ they have a right to celebrate their kid without u.
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Have your own party at your own home.
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If you can show a good coparenting relationship with the kiddo having one party, that’s great! But if your husband or his ex doesn’t want you to go and you all are married that’s a little childish. Either way you and him are together I would not separate your new family for an ex it will only cause trust issues. Not a good situation. I always have 2 parties for my son just so everything goes smoothly and there are zero issues. You gota do what’s best for the kiddo and your relationship.
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The real question is why don’t he want you to go? you’re the step mom y’all are a family you should be included! I’d be mad af if I was told I couldn’t go
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Sounds like you guys need to sit down and talk and find out why you aren’t allowed to go. Seems weird to me.
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I’d see why you’d be upset but you can’t really tell him he can’t go to his own kids bday party lmaoooo
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My first question is why don’t you have your child? It’s his son, let him go. I grew up with the most evil step mom ever and my dad should have apart of my life, but he chose that evil woman over me. That wasn’t right, my mom didn’t care if she came it was me. She was rude and jealous and hated I existed, she was so small minded. Thankfully 30 years later she died two years ago and now I can spend time with my father.
You Should Be Able To Go If He’s Going!! & If Not Then Maybe You & Your Husband Can Throw Your Own Seperate Party For Him At Your Home.
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you should be able to go with him point blank
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It isnt about you…its about his son. The best thing is for his son to see his parents getting along.
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I think it’s awesome that he wants to go to his sons birthday party Kids with split homes often don’t have the normalcies of having a birthday party with both of their parents. Kudos to him for wanting to go and do the right thing. If he was my husband, I’d be encouraging him to go.
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IMO you have no say in how he spends his time with his kid.
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I have a issue with ex’s. I will never ever trust my man with his ex. We have our own parties. If I camt go he cant. When what ur asking happened to me he was cheating with his ex. So no forever scared will never trust again
I have step kids and I have always told my husband to be apart of his children’s lives even if means I have to stay home. For me I’m very set on I will not come between my husband and his kids.
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My daughter turned 12 this year. Her father and I’ve been divorced since she was about one. I have been married 2 my second husband for almost 10 years. For the first several years after we were divorced we just did separate parties. No one was invited to the other ones party. This is the first year that I had a party and I invited my ex and his wife. I love his wife and she is a great extra mom to our baby. It was very nice for her to have both of her moms and both of her dads and all of her grandparents at her birthday party for once. That being said. It takes some time and maybe the reason that he does not want you to go to the party is because it is a pretty new separation and it might couse some drama that would take away from the kids birthday. But that’s just my opinion
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Anyone else notice all of these posts from this site are always extremely long run on sentences? Maybe it’s me, but dear goodness! Take a moment, edit the question, add some punctuation & maybe we won’t all be scratching our heads once in a while for what you are trying to say!
Anyhow, it doesn’t matter if you can’t go or can. Its his son and he should be able to do what he needs to for him.
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That’s hard… I’m the time if I can’t go he can’t go either… but that’s his kids &I would never make him him pick me over his kid… but I also don’t think I could be with someone that won’t let me go or stick up for me to go. It’s about the kids &y’all are married x should respect that
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I went to Disneyland years ago with my ex husband and my boyfriend and my kids (who all belong to the ex husband). It was horribly awkward, many times I thought they were going to physically fight each other, I don’t recommend it to anyone lol. Now I keep them separate. It’s better for me and the kids. Co-parenting is about the kids, your kids always come before anyone else even a new spouse. So I’m siding with the husband and saying, stay home and get over it. What could possibly happen at a child’s birthday party that there is to worry about? Are they going to leave their child and guests and sneak off to have sex? It would be different if she was asking him to come for dinner or something. But it’s a kid’s party!
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You’re childish. Let the man go to his sons birthday party. He probably said no because you’re clearly dramatic and seem like the type to start things at a child’s party.
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I think it’s great that your husband go to the party at his ex’s. But RED FLAG… sorry. It has nothing to do with jealousy or childishness. Why would he be so adamant that his current wife not go with him??? My parents divorced when I was young. At first we held separate bdays, xmas’s, Thanksgivings… but after a few years we all had our holidays together. Mom, Dad, kids… and SPOUSES! My mom and dad and spouses made it work for their children and then grandchildren. I don’t believe you are the one being “childish”
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Honestly don’t be the bitter step mom. Let him go. Throw your own party, that you make effort for at your place if you want but you’re the adult here. That kid only gets one childhood.
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You stay out of it!!! That is his child and he can go to the birthday party withOUT you. She may not want YOU at her house and she reserves the right to say so. Your ex may not want to be involved with your child bc of whatever reason- that’s their problem! Don’t try to make your husband a DUD like your ex and don’t do it bc your ex is t around either. 
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First off you don’t tell him he can’t be with his kid.
Second, you sound confrontational so I’d leave your ass at home too.
Is it a new separation? Are u the first gf since they broke up? Other than that, I don’t understand why u cant go. Unless she is super difficult and he would rather not have her drama?
sounds like you and his ex don’t get along? maybe she doesn’t want you there because she doesn’t want drama and just wants the kid to have a nice party with mum and dad there 🤷 I mean what other reason would your hubby not want you to go? if that’s not the case and you think he’s being dodgy then you’ve got other problems to worry about
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Either the whole family (step parents included) are at the single party, or you opt to do separate ones for the kids. That’s how co-parenting works. I don’t think you’re out of line on this, as you ARE part of his kid’s family. No one (as a parent) has a say over who the other parent chooses to be with, nor do they have the right to cut them out of the child’s life UNLESS that person is dangerous to the child.
Sure, she has the right to say who comes to her house, but she’s being childish about it, and you’re husband should say either you both come to a single party, or you’ll just have one at your house and she’ll can have this one at hers.
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Wow, you’ve got to be kidding right?!
If I was your husband I’d tell you to punch it .
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If you were a girlfriend I’d get it… But you’re married.
Then again, is it the mom saying you’re not allowed? In that case, it’s different because he should still be able to go see his kid.
Have you asked him why he doesn’t want you there?
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Thats a tough one. I feel like he should back you up, but l aso feel like you shouldnt try to tell him he cant go. Does he have an explanation as to why you are not welcome?
Just my experience, but I am willing to do whatever to make the child feel loved. When my husband first got visits with his son, I wasn’t welcome in the mother’s home, but he did not want to drive the whole 3 hour trip by himself, so I rode with him and took my oldest son to the park down the road while he had his visits. I didn’t mind bc I wanted him to have whatever time he could get with his son. We now have sole custody of him, so it’s not an issue. I have invited my sons dad and step mom to the birthday parties I throw at my house and they have came to a couple. My ex-husband and I tolerate each other, but I’m willing to have idle chit chat with him for an hour or so if it’s what my son wants. We have even discussed future (very distant future) family trips together… Baby steps is all you can do. Wish you luck.
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Kinda just sounds like shes a B* if she’s not inviting you, the WIFE of his ex, stepmother to her child. If he should be there as a coparent, so should you. Especially if they don’t speak or otherwise communicate regularly. It sounds like a BS invite intended to cause drama. 
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Sounds like you all have some growing up to do. Poor kiddos.
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I think the wife is right. There’s no reason for him to go to his ex-wife’s house without her. They can throw their own birthday party for his son. I think he’s an idiot. so disrespectful to his wife. I know many broken up families with children and if they all celebrate together then they are all there. But most that I know have their own individual birthday party with the new extended family.
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How can you be so selfish to tell your husband that he can’t go to HIS SON’S birthday without you? You sound controling. His ex’s family is his family. You have to realize there may be relationships you may not understand. He has the right to celebrate his son with his extended family without you getting in the way of those relationships.
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I honestly think he should have you go as well. Clearly I don’t know the situation however when I was growing up my Dsd never went to anything my Mom was at.
Well I got engaged and his GF (Stepmom status) would still come to everything at my moms house. She made sure to come to my bridal shower, baby shower, etc…
It was SO nice having her at least come to everything and it made my Mom happy as well to know she cared so much.
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So my question is WHY doesn’t the ex want you there? If there is no bad blood or any feelings still, it should be all good right?
My younger sister was in this predicament and it caused problems in their relationship. My sister never did anything to her (fiancés ex) or their daughter and always welcomed fiancé’s daughter with open arms. We all did. Come to find out the ex was bitter that my brother n law moved on, was engaged to my sister, her daughter adored my sister and family as we did her and the ex still had feelings for my brother n law.
I could understand if something happened because me personally would not go around my husbands ex because she’s caused so much drama that I’m glad we don’t see each other but in this case, I have to agree with the wife and question why she’s not allowed to go and the husband should have her back.
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This is dumb! Grow tf up.
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My man would refuse to go without me. And we would throw our own party.
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Wow, all these women saying if I can’t go he can’t, now if the man was saying the same thing you’d all be like that’s MY CHILD and neither you or anyone are going to tell me if I can or cant go to MY OWN kids party (double standards). The children should always come 1st.
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Nope you go .
Or he aint going 
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Idk it seems weird that he doesnt want you to go imo. My step sons mother hasnt been in the picture for years and I’ve raised him as my own since I met him pretty much, but my husband and I get along really well with his daughters mother and her fiancee., butWe throw our own birthday parties. we stay and talk for a bit during pick up and drop offs, my husbands ex and I talk more than they do honestly. She calls and tells me about any events our daughter has so I can arrange for our side of her family to attend too. But even when my husband and I first started dating, his ex and I went out for drinks to meet to get to know each other a bit, and any invite has always included all of us. I read this to my hisband though and his response was “theres no way in hell is be going to my baby mamas house for a birthday party without you”
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Maybe he’s afraid there will be drama between you and his ex that could cause focus to be pulled from his son on his special day? I mean, there really is no right answer here. He should be there for his son, but he should also be supportive of you, because you’re his wife now, but he has expressed disapproval in you attending. I would say, let them have their party, but express your feelings to him about the situation, and then, you guys have your own party for his son so that you can still be a part of your stepson’s birthday festivities.
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Why do you have to be there? Grow up
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If a man was saying “if I’m not coming you can’t go” everyone would be losing their minds. If this was the other way around people would probably be telling her to leave him. This is so toxic, your partner is allowed to go to his kids party and his mums house without you. And it doesn’t mean there’s bad blood maybe she just doesn’t want you in her home. Which isn’t ideal but who knows.
He’s going for is kid, and trust me it’s important. I used to be so sad when one of my parents wouldn’t come to my party that was at the other parents house. This is about him and his kid, not about you.
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Insecure much? There’s clearly some animosity between you and his ex if you weren’t invited but you can’t deny him access to his son to soothe your insecurities.
Yes you can give the boy a party too when he comes for the weekend visit, and should just to show the boy that he is just as much a part of his Dad’s new family as he is his Mom’s. It’s called being a good stepmom.
That doesn’t mean it won’t mean the world to that boy to see his dad at his party in his mom’s house. Part of raising an emotionally healthy child is letting that child see civil, peaceful co-parenting and team work between you and the other parent. Burying your personal drama in the child’s presence and just being their dad/mom. It’s not like he announced he’s spending the night at his Ex’s house.
Work on your insecurities, try and build a civil relationship with the mom since she is always going to be in the picture so long as the son is too young to drive over and see his dad on his own time, and stress less. Just because your ex has no contact doesn’t mean your man should rip his son’s life apart being cold and distant to please you. Let him go celebrate his son.
Stop being petty and insecure
There is no reason to stop a father from celebrating his son’s birthday because you won’t be there
That’s just gross
Its NOT about you, IT’S ABOUT THE CHILD
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Sounds like the ex-wife is the petty one, not her.
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If you’re not welcome then he shouldn’t go either. Y’all can have a birthday party for his son at your house during his visitation.
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Let him go. Don’t make it worse by insisting on attending. Maybe he doesn’t want the drama that could happen?
Respect you as his WIFE.He goes you GO!Perioooood.
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I think it’s petty on her behalf that you are not allowed however it’s extremely petty for you to tell your husband not to go. Also you are not his mother and have no right to tell him where he can and can not go.
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Well I guess my family is just different… my parents didnt go to each others houses period. I had 2 of everything growing up… my kids was the same once we were seeing other people… I just find it weird tbh… so no I dont think he should go… you should your own thing at your house… or have the party in a neutral location…
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Excuuuussseeeee me?? If you can’t go he cant go?! To his sons birthday party?! What? Grow up. Kids should always be the first priority.
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Seriously?? Back off!! He should go to the party. Why on earth would you want to?!?!?
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Think about how sad his son will be when his father doesn’t show up to his birthday party because YOU said he “couldn’t” go…
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Well its extremely immature of her to not want you there, but if it has to be that way, let him go. His child is the important thing in this and he should be there for him no matter the circumstances
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It’s not your birthday hun. You’ll ruin someone’s birthday with your petty attitude.
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It’s a kids birthday. Why all the drama?
Also I didn’t see the part about his ex saying she couldn’t go, I thought it was HIM saying she couldn’t go. I’d be questioning that to be honest.
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Let him go lol. Grow up
1st is there a bad history with you and the ex?? Maybe he doesn’t want you to go so there will not be any problems and it can just be about the child. This is a hard one. I get it but if you tell him no it will cause problems between you, he will feel like you are making him pick between you and his kid. Maybe call or text the ex and ask if there is anything you guys can bring to help with the party and see what she says, if no hissy fit then show him your messages to show it’s ok.
I’m not ever telling any mother or father they can’t go to their Childs birthday party . I would just be curious as to why you can’t go .
Damn y’all are some judgmental bitches in this comment section!! There are SO many questions to ask!! Like is his ex single? Is he talking to her? Is he wanting to get back with her? And you should ask your husband why you can’t go. You don’t need to be asking these asshole women for advice. Just talk to your husband about it. Communicate!
If I can’t go you can’t go 
is this an episode of 16 and pregnant or what 
grow up.
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I think you having your own party is the right idea. It’s very immature of them not to let you go, I wouldn’t be happy with it either and would prob say that same thing. It’s not very nice for them to put you in that position cc
the party is for his kid of course he needs to go.
Do you not trust him with his ex?
Why doesn’t he want you to go?
My parents go divorced when I was high school I am so thankful with the way they did things we would do holidays birthdays graduations and everything together which had my mom step dad and dad step mom there It made things so nice.
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My husband has 2 girls with his ex and we have 2 children together. The 4 of us would go to his exes house for birthdays and Graduations etc. as a family. We all get along! That’s the way it should be. The girls are in their 20’s and we still get together and go over there for birthdays.
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I’ve always had separate birthday parties and celebrations with our kid. I have no intention of going to a party he is at or vice versa, although we are always cordial and invite eachother just so we can decline.
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Personally I would just have a talk with him because their will be many more birthdays and agree to not celebrate the same day. Kids will just have to settle for two birthday parties 
at the end of the day we don’t know the story behind this. She could be the girl who he left his X for and I think that it’s painful and disrespectful so it’s best to just stay apart.
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Let his child enjoy having both of his parents together with him for his birthday. It’s not the child’s fault that things didn’t work out between them. And your insecurities shouldn’t prevent that day of happiness. Children come first. ALWAYS.
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If youre not welcome in her home then no, you don’t go. But don’t deprive your husband’s son of having his father there for his birthday. You’re thinking of yourself not the child
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That’s disrespectful to you and his x knows that. That’s her way of still controlling YOUR husband. Me and my kids birth father have a great working relationship and neither of us have ever gone to the others house for bday parties . EVER.
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Dont do that!!! Let his Child have a great birthday with out any drama… its just a couple of hours…
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I mean we drove to a different state to celebrate his daughters birthday all together, my child included. I love his daughter, her momma and her other kid the same. We’re all family 
they seem like they not ready for a blended family and I wouldn’t of married him if that’s how he thought.
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The real question is why he doesn’t want you to of you’re his wife? I would let him go because that’s his son birthday party but I would have a serious talk about why he doesn’t want you to go. You guys are married and you should be apart of the family and if not then you need to talk with him about doing that or maybe it’s time to rethink something’s…
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Kids come before adults. If that makes his son feel happy, his wife should get over herself. He should be able to count on his wife for support, not additional grief.
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Sounds like u don’t trust your husband unless your their to supervise. I think it’s childish that insecurities can’t be put aside for the child’s sake and right to celebrate his day with both his parents present
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I say let him go, and you go to the bar and find yourself a new man. A respectful man would not do that. I know my husband wouldn’t. We would just have our own birthday party then!
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It’s his kids birthday, don’t be selfish. You’re just asking for divorce papers! Grow Up and be an adult.
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You should be able to go, not quite fair to keep him from going… But taking you shouldn’t be an issue. My now husband took me to his sons 5th birthday party that mom did… I hadn’t even met the kids or her for that matter… He didn’t care… If i was going to be with him they are my kids too. Of course in my case we got custody not long after.
#stepmomof3 #momof5kids
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Your stepson and you shld be included… no respect from your hubs sounds Like to me… have your own party with him… I lived this, we had our own party for her as well as holiday , graduation etc parties!
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I’m sorry but I am not a jealous or overbearing person but I am definitely taking her side on this. Especially since they are married. It’s not like she’s a new girlfriend or anything. If she is not invited there is a reason. I do not think the husband should go without her. If she can’t go then they should have a separate party or family celebration for his son. I just feel like somethings really wrong with this situation.
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I think they all need to be adults, my x has brought plenty of girlfriends… not wives to the kids birthday… I wasn’t happy but I was respectfully. Grow up people
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Why would your husband not put his sons mother in her place. You are his wife. You all are a family. If she wants to have a combined party then it needs to be a combined party with ALL of his family.
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As an adult you cant tell another adult what they can and cant do. You can express your feelings about the situation. Have a conversation about why you feel the way you feel and move from there.
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Is this the first year the boys mother wants the father at the party? Why the change if so?
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See both of my boys dads and I have different parties for our boys. My youngest sons dad will get him the weekend of and we will do something the following weekend, or we will do it the week of so their dads can do it during the weekend of their day. But that just works for us every parenting styles works differently. Some can be civil and do parties together where as others cant and do them separately.
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