these answers are ridiculous 
he legit said he was depressed and lost his sex drive so he needs a therapist it’s nerve wrecking to get one and let alone open up to a stranger. It’s not just us women who lose our sex drive 
come on now
I was the way your husband is. I couldn’t stand to be touched. I didn’t want to have sex. I didn’t want to cuddle or hold hands or kiss. Nothing. I had 0 sex drive. I was depressed, and unhappy in my marriage. My husband ended up cheating on me. Once we seperated, about 6 months later, I got my sex drive back. I think you should go to marriage counseling. There’s something in the relationship that he isn’t happy about. Or he doesn’t even know why he feels the way he feels.
Come out and straight up ask him ? If the answer doesn’t sound legit,then threaten to leave him! It seems like he isn’t concerned about both your happiness!
Get his testosterone levels checked.
6 Likes
Maybe he is gay or cheating
7 Likes
How fat did u get,lol
4 Likes
Depression, stress, medication, drug use, drink, exhaustion, diabetes, fear of not being able to perform …impotence is a big thing for a man and they feel useless …but he has to communicate properly and seek medical advice or its not going to improve.
Relationships are not all about performance in bed but are you willing to stay without sex ? Obviously he should be trying other things to satisfy you but maybe hes getting the urge and is ashamed he cant follow through if he shows affection so keeps his distance . You need to talk…he needs to be honest and you both need to work on other ways to deal with the situation.
If he wont work with you and you can’t accept a sexless relationship then I guess you need to decide if you’re buying some toys or leaving
He is cheating. Open your eyes girl.
He is giving all of his love to someone else.
Call cheaters !
4 Likes
When in a relationship, communication is vital. It may very well be he’s not attracted to you anymore. It could also be medical or emotional on his end. Or as it’s been mentioned, he could be gay. Although I doubt it, as someone usually figures that out about themselves early (but not always 
)
I’d purchase a toy of some sort to satiate your physical needs while y’all figure it out. Cheating is only gonna create more issues. But ultimately it’s not fair to you for you to stay if you are clearly expressing reasonable needs aren’t being met. If he’s ok with you taking a lover, there’s nothing wrong with that either. COMMUNICATE with him. Blatantly. Don’t mince words. Good luck honey, you deserve happiness 
2 Likes
I would definitely talk to him. It sounds like his issue might be with sex itself and not necessarily a lack of attraction to you. It sounds like he might find sex messy and that he isn’t a fan of messy. It doesn’t sound like he is cheating based on how quickly he finishes. I would try talking again. However if he won’t acknowledge there’s an issue or doesn’t want to work on it be prepared to make a choice.
Maybe get him a men’s one a day vitamin and yes on the doctor and hormone testing- go with him, if he pushes you away in that area something else could be going on 
1 Like
Men are allowed to not want sex either. You just had a baby 7 months ago so yeah he may have a lot of stress not to mention his job stress trying to make sure everything is taken care of. Guess what men don’t preform well under pressure and your putting a lot of pressure on him. Back off! Learn to please yourself. If you really want to help bad get him to please you then help him start the appointments he needs. He’s probably procrastinating because he’s embarrassed. Actually talk to him not demand from him
Honestly the baby maybe the issue. It seems like all his “issues” started after you got pregnant. He may not see you in the same light sexually or may feel off because the baby has received more of your attention or even that he doesn’t feel the same after having the kid. I’ve seen it happen numerous times working in the medical field - talk to him openly & not after you have been pushing the issue in his face. If he’s not will to compromise then it may be time to look at other options for your happiness. You can’t force help on those that aren’t ready to accept it. Maybe some ultimatums will help him to see what he may lose.
1 Like
How old is he? He needs to go to see a doctor. Not your issue.
3 Likes
I hate it but. Walk away, if it’s this much work… He wants a dude 
5 Likes
God that sounds so horrible, just leave…
1 Like
If the original poster sees this comment, please message me. I’d like to talk.
Leave him.Why would you stay?Either cheating or gay.I would say goodbye.
4 Likes
It’s not always cheating or other sexuality. There could be hormonal things wrong with him too. Clearly he was able to get you pregnant. He may have low t now, or elevated estrogen (yes, men have this too!). Have his hormone levels checked
5 Likes
It sounds like marriage counseling To work on the communication…Maybe he needs to get tested for diabetes, Low testosterone or ED Make sure you tell them that you’re willing to help and make your marriage work Only if hes willing
Honestly it sounds to me like he has a testosterone problem which is actually very common. He needs to speak to a doctor about testing and potentially medication. It really does help and does wonders for not only their sexual drive but also their moods.
Therapy can definitely help along the way but until his hormones are in check nothing can really help because there is an imbalance.
2 Likes
I feel bad cuz my husband and me are going through the same issue but it’s me not him
3 Likes
Remember to protect yourself in the midst of protecting him
7 Likes
This is why I have a toy I never rely on a man
2 Likes
Men go through something like menopause also. He could have something going on that even he doesn’t understand. Low testosterone is a HUGE deal for men. Sounds like you should make a doctors appointment together and have a face-to-face talk about what’s going on. Good luck.
4 Likes
He’s cheating on you
5 Likes
ED is common. It doesn’t mean he’s cheating or gay. There’s a lot of medical reasons behind ED. Have him go to the doctor and have a blood panel done.
4 Likes
He needs to see a doctor. Is he taking anything? If he refuses, talk to him and tell him that you will leave but you don’t want to if he will not go get help. If he still refuses, leave and go seek the help you need to move on.
no woman should EVER have to beg to have sex/make love. That’s first, Second, he might be having some sexual dysfunction & is very embarrassed to talk about it, Get him to see a Dr for a physical, but let them know about he’s VERY low sex drive. Or I will agree with many, he is gay
It sounds to me like he’s having legit issues and that it’s probably not you… Perhaps he needs to speak to a doctor
5 Likes
Doesn’t mean he’s cheating. There is a lot that goes on and it could be ED and be completely embarrassed to speak of so he avoids it at all costs. But this is where a medical doctor and counseling needs to come in to help your marriage.
5 Likes
Marriage counseling and he really needs to get in to a doc to check his levels. If they are off it will throw off his sex drive.
Side note why is everyone always “leave him”. He just doesn’t have a sex drive which is reason to go to a doc first.
Or… He may need to get his testosterone levels checked.
3 Likes
Some people just don’t like sex. Wouldn’t take it personal.
From a mans perspective because all of you clearly don’t understand saying he wants a man, he’s cheating, he’s gay, you’re all useless just take your garbage “strong independent woman” advice and throw it out the window you’re the reasons why men dealing with depression or psychological issues live unhappy, depressed and suicidal - sometimes we go through depressive and hyposexual periods. These look exactly like your explaining. During these periods men tend to be repulsed by the idea of sex but still aroused. Having a partner who does not feel for these issues tend to exasperate the issue. The more pressure men feel to “perform” when they enter this period only makes it worse and for longer periods of time. This does not sound like ED. This sounds psychological, due to depression, drive, anxiety, and stress. The quickness behind climax is a clear indicator. Premature ejaculation is again usually caused by stress, anxiety, and depression. Your man needs to see an actual Dr. not a sex therapist but he has deep psychological issues that are not being addressed. Ever see those memes about guys who say “they’re fine” but actually are ready to die inside. This is that.
I’d say move on love what’s the point in trying anymore? Would I fuck beg any man for sex!! They need to want/need to do it with you your his wife and clearly can’t give you what you need and want, tbh love I would start to think there was another woman in the picture if this was happening to me. Xx
He needs to go see a dr. Not a therapist (at least at first). It sounds like he’s having low testosterone levels or something. Idk why everyone just assumes that only women have hormonal changes in their bodies, men do as well. And they should also see a dr for it. It’s normal and ok and can be fixed 
3 Likes
If he truly loves you and wants you both to be happy he would have got help by now for both your sake…he’s getting it somewhere else…
5 Likes
I’m going through the same thing 
. I’m reading all the comments and find them to be so helpful. I am going to have a talk with him soon.
Marriage is over in my opinion. He doesn’t even have a sense of wanting to fix things and marriage counselling I feel won’t do the job. He lost desire and the ability to commit to a marriage emotionally…
7 Likes
He may need to go see a doctor. Doesn’t he is cheating or gay just a medical problem perhaps. After a doctors visit maybe a sex therapist.
Sounds like he may have a medical problem. Sometimes this can be heart related so he needs to have a doc check him out.
1 Like
My last relationship was exactly like this. He didn’t believe in counseling, wouldn’t go to the doctor to get his T checked… No spooning, hardly kiss me. He wasn’t willing to do anything in my his part…I ended it. I’m worth more than that.
2 Likes
He might be having an affair
6 Likes
It could be he needs to check his testosterone levels or maybe he’s depressed…
7 Likes
Ok so what we can do? You married that him
3 Likes
Don’t crawl to his alter , get up and act like a woman ,start looking for love else where! You are actuly helping him abuse you!
9 Likes
Buy him some testosterone pills from Walmart if that doesn’t help then move on bc you dont deserve the mental abuse. Once he sees you’re done he will change then and not a minute sooner that’s how all men are.
Testosterone levels may very low. Definitely needs to get into a dr. Could be other things medically as well that’s affecting it and he doesn’t want to talk about it. Also, marriage counseling may help bring y’all closer. Schedule the appointment yourself and y’all go if that’s what you need to do.
The only reason to leave is if he is abusing you or your child in any way. Those that say leave don’t understand what taking your vows serious means
8 Likes
I wouldn’t automatically assume “affair”. Definitely see if there is a medical issue behind this
6 Likes
He needs to see a doctor! He could have prostate cancer or any number of other physical issues. If those are ruled out, it would be time for a therapist. Set up the appointment and take him. It could be life altering if it continues.
5 Likes
I experienced this with my ex husband years ago. For months I thought it was me ,no longer attracted to me. I wasn’t like the point stars he liked to watch or portions etc… I cried and begged .so I started watching porn to try to learn what he liked so I could try with him still wasn’t good enough. So I started spying on him thinking he was cheating. He wasn’t physically but mentally he was no one in person but social media he was.we fought n argue on n off for months. We had a good relationship except the bedroom. Finally I couldn’t deal with it anymore and taught of cheating bc I had needs too.but I didn’t I decided to go through his phone again n wouldn’t you know it he had a lock on it. So I eventually got it opened. Changed all his passwords for everything. I packed a bag .I set his alarm for 2 hours earlier for him to wake up for work. Left his phone opened so he knew what I found and left.went to a friend house cried got drunk and said I was finally done. He called me talking shit how he wasn’t doing anything wrong and how was he supposed to get to work. I told him to call one of the bitches he drooling over for a ride n hung up. Lol.i stayed gone for a week. He argued thur texting bc I wouldn’t answer his calls. I went back lock off the phone no social media account he never asked for the new passwords I changed everything to. We talked n both cried he was experiencing Ed but refused to go to the dr n eventually old habits started n I left when he was at work didn’t say anything or even let him know. I found out. I sent him divorce papers. I FOUND OUT MY WORTH N NEVER LOOKED BACK. In your case I feel awful for you. But you can’t love him enough to make him change.or fix his issues. You need to love urself more n either stay in this relationship n learn to live with your current situation or leave n be happy. Good luck
Sounds like he’s either cheating, not attracted to you anymore or something a doctor needs to help with going on! Ask him to get checked by a dr & if he refuses then he is most likely cheating… If he wants to fix the problem he will agree to see a dr but if he just not attracted to you anymore or he’s cheating he’s going to avoid going to or even talking about the doctor! Something is obviously going on with him!
Option 1: theres someone else.
Option 2: medical. See a doctor.
Option 3: Maybe he’s gay.
Option 4: Something mental. See a doctor.
Option 5: leave him
Unfortunately all we can do is wish you luck. You REALLY have to speak with him and if he refuses to communicate then leave. If he cares he will try and stop you and communicate when he realizes you’re serious.
23 Likes
Please don’t listen to all these women out here about leaving him. He may have some serious health issues going on. Make his doctor appointment for him if that’s what it takes. He needs to see someone because something isn’t right. In the mean time, get yourself a bunch of toys and things to pleasure yourself. Don’t seek pleasure elsewhere until you find out what is going on with him. He is your husband, try and work through this major bump.
21 Likes
I’d get some sex toys watch some porn get yourself off multiple times a day even if he’s next to you even if it’s to a man jerking off dont hid it away from him cum nd then ignore your husband till he’s sick of you pleasing yourself xx
Even if it is a medical condition, why would he just do nothing about it. You’re his wife, if you’re in need of physical attention and he’s unable to give that to you, and UNWILLING to try to solve the issue, hes either cheating, or he’s not committed to making your marriage work, and he gave up. Either way, no effort, no relationship unfortunately. He can’t lay around for years and not touch you and expect you to be okay with that. If you give him a little push to get help, and he does see what happens, and if he don’t follow through with getting help, you know what you need to do. Best of luck to you 
you deserve someone crazy about you, can’t get enough of you!
4 Likes
You said you have a 7month old, yeah??
Please don’t forget that Males too can suffer as much (sometimes even more) as females with Post Natal Depression…
Now I’m NOT siding with him - don’t get me wrong! Showing absolutely NO interest/feelings or affection towards you is really screaming Red Flags!!
I too have been in your position - and I know all too well how you’re feeling mentally, physically and sexually… It farking HURTS‼️
I know you love him - he’s your husband and the father of your child! But the soul crushing hardest truth you NEED to hear right now is…
You need to sit him down for 1 final discussion - prepare notes if it will help you express, not only your feelings and frustrations but more importantly - be asking him the TOUGH questions as to what steps or actions he thinks could be beneficial to you both movimg forward in your marriage…
If he has no answers for you - I’m sorry, but it’s in your best interest for you and your child to maybe take a break away from your husband… Your child deserves to not only see you, but to also feel (through your hugs and smiles) you are happy and confident:bangbang:
7 Likes
Did you think it would change after marriage ??
This isn’t just about s-e-x. You say he won’t even show affection toward you? No holding hands, cuddling? Have you asked him to sit with you, to talk with each other about how you feel about all of it? Write it all down, every concern, how much this upsets you, that you love him and you want to hear the truth without anger. Going to family members will not help him. Think about how sensitive this is for you and how it will also be as sensitive to him. You and he(and God, if you both entered into a spiritual marriage together) need to communicate without interruption, and talk with each other(don’t forget to pray and ask for guidance).
A marriage is not always “good and easy,” it is also “hard and difficult,” but you need to work at it together. If he is having an affair, it will come to light. The truth always does.
Perhaps, you can also ask him that tough question. Ask yourself if you are ready to hear it if it is so. And then, what will you do if he is? That is when you will need your family for support.
I will pray for you and your husband today, for strength and guidance, but mostly, that you will feel the love that God can give to you both. Take care. 
You started your post with “my husband doesn’t want me.” Time to split.
3 Likes
Have been going through the same issues and finally convinced him to go to the doctor after his best friend died. My hubby is now diabetic, has high blood pressure, and has erectile disfunction because of stress due to his job and health issues. He is now on medication and our life right now is reasonable to me as I am busy running behind 3 kids, working and attending classes.
Leave you don’t deserve this
OMG 
don’t beg him. That’s ridiculous.
Couples counseling might help. He may have low testosterone or ED or he might be gay…stranger things have happened.
5 Likes
He most definitely need to see a Dr. And you need to stop begging him until there is a solution to the problem. He can’t get it up because he isn’t in the mood and only caved to your begging to make it stop. Forcing him to have sex with you when YOU KNOW there is something more going on is trash.
This whole comment section is trash and so is every woman defending you.
You must be ugly and fat
INSIST he see a doctor 
and/or therapist ASAP
Stop begging 
Decide if this is a deal breaker💔
Testosterone levels can drop in men after having children. Nature’s way of protecting children from aggression in men.
It’s not about him not wanting you 
YOU AREN’T the problem. It’s his avoidance in investing/seeking a solution to the problem.
Prepare to seek a future without him
You deserve a fully LOVING relationship GOOD LUCK
2 Likes
So, its not ok that he doesn’t show any affection. However, this sounds like he has medically and mental issues. Talk to him about getting help. Tell him its gotten to the point your so unhappy that your can’t do this anymore.
1 Like
Make the doctor’s appointment for him to be checked for erectile dysfunction, take him to the appointment, and see if the doc will talk to you afterwards.
2 Likes
I would tell him I’ve tried and tried and tried now its on you. Its either get help or we are done.
3 Likes
You can’t help someone who doesn’t want help
5 Likes
Leave or find someone who satisfies you. What your partner won’t do someone else will.
3 Likes
Quit talking to him about anything start planning your exit
13 Likes
Why would you f@@@ing beg for sex? Leave his ass and find someone who really cares and loves you! He sure doesn’t deserve you!
Is it possible when you got pregnant that he now sees you differently… it has happened. Some men can’t handle seeing their partner pregnant, it makes them see you in a different light, and the attraction dies. Definitely needs to speak to a doctor
1 Like
This is 100% a medical issue… AND he is too embarrassed to say anything… He needs to go get a full medical exam.
I’m just gunna say it’s NOT OKAY for him NOT To go to the doctors, Make the appointment for him.
Nope, having medical issues it’s OK we all have them but not taking care of an issue you know you have, that is affecting your spouse…
That’s a deal breaker
10 Likes
Sounds to me… If he has no desire for mental, sexual, marriage, or any other kind of outside help leave him. You do no deserve to be treated this way.
5 Likes
Never beg and know your worth. I would be giving an ultimatum. It’s healthy in a relationship to HAVE SEX you aren’t asking to much.
I would’ve Either take him to doctor or get out of the marriage.
3 Likes
You need a sex toy. Play with yourself in front of of him and see if it turns him on. Then there is always divorce if you guys aren’t sexually compatible
It sounds like he might be suffering from depression, find him the number for a men’s helpline and have him talk to someone. It will be less confronting than pushing him straighter into face to face… As for it being his job to touch his own penis during sex, am I reading that right? That’s just weird.
Ain’t No man going 13 months without sex…
Sounds like a woman going through menopause . he may be cheating and got something he doesn’t want to pass to you. But you still shouldn’t have to beg for it you should seriously consider leaving him
Honey I’m sorry to hear this and you shouldn’t have to go through anything like this. Even my husband agrees that you deserve better and you shouldn’t be treated anything less. We suggest you leave and find someone who makes you feel happy but first focus on yourself and your baby before anything
He’s either gay or has some type of medical issue. I’m leaning more towards him being gay because if he really loves you he would put his pride aside and get medical help. He does not even wanna cuddle or nothing. That means he’s not attracted to you and does not care what he puts you threw. He’s going to use you and hide his lifestyle for as long as he can. You either waste your life and suffer because of it or you do something about it. I’ve been there. Honey, You got to love yourself most of all first and tolerate NOTHING. You only get ONE life to live. Don’t blame anyone else but yourself on how you make it.
5 Likes
Maybe he is cheating on you.
3 Likes
He should either seek evaluation and help if he claims it is medical as this greatly affects relationships/marriages and if he refuses to do that then consider there another reason and the fact you may have to move forward.
if all these replies had been directed towards women instead of a man, so many men aint shit posts would have been made
I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve to feel like this. Please consider leaving.
3 Likes
Maybe he don’t love you anymore ,or medical problems.He might like you as a friend but love is gone ,i say that cause i was like your husband years back.love just left without any question.It just happened to me and never knew why.
1 Like
Sounds like his pleasing someone else? Medical condition or not what man can go months without sex… eek
Everyone saying just leave is wrong bc as a woman I’ve had issues with sex drive and come to find out I have a thyroid disease that affects my sex drive. Don’t just leave continue to try to talk him into seeing a Dr. It could very well be a medical issue. If he refuses to be seen by a Dr and see what’s going on then I’d consider leaving but that wouldn’t be my first option.
Hes either gay or seeing someone else
5 Likes
I say leave or find a man that will sex you and then leave.
He doesn’t always have to be cheating there’s many medications that can cause this iam in different boat my husband is a lover and he loves to have sex with me but iam not a very sexual person I have tried to overcome my insecurities and my past childhood trauma to be a better lover but it’s just not me but he also understands that if I’m having a bad day or I’m just not there yet he doesn’t pressure me I find being pressured into it only makes it feel more like a chore than something I want to do so he doesn’t press me he just says ok baby we will cuddle tonight and this my friends is what marriage is its hard work and a whole lot of compromise and often sacrifices after 20 years we are still as strong as we ever was also could be that he is having a hard time looking at you the way he did before you had his child some men no longer look at their wives the same after childbirth not because of your body but to him your the mother of his child and some can’t imagine having sex and treating her the same maybe before kids they had a hot sultry sex life well he may be having a hard time being able to be sexually free with you now like how can he treat his child’s mother like a dirty stripper lol kind of mentality I know my husband said after I had our daughter he couldn’t imagine talking nasty and dirty to me lol but hey I like that stuff when iam in the sexual mood you onow hair pulling ass slapping sex bahah just my opinion from experience
This comment section is ridiculous. Maybe he’s going through depression or something similar and needs to see a therapist but is scared of the reactions from his family or yours. Men are held to a stupidly high standard regarding mental health and if this were a man posting about his wife never wanting sex or being too tired everyone would be telling him to give her a break because shes tired or emotionally drained or depressed. He may be all of those things too, open up to him about your feelings and try to let him talk to you about his mental health. Let him KNOW that you are a safe space for him and that if he chooses to go to therapy you’ll be there to support him no matter what. The fact that most of these comments jump straight to hes cheating is proof that mental health in men is so easily tossed aside or overlooked. Please let him know that you are a safe space for him to open up.
I couldn’t do it. I would have a talk and if nothing changes, then maybe it’s just not meant to be. Maybe try counseling?
2 Likes
Sounds like a medical problem that has killed his self esteem. Set up an appointment with the dr. and you go with him. Is he on blood pressure meds, anti depressants, diabetic. Many meds can cause these symptoms.
3 Likes
Girl. Stop begging, that’s a turn off!!!
3 Likes