My hubby and I had this issue and occasionally he still shows his ass about it cause I’m scattered like a squirrel most days but talk to him and he could be like my guy he deflect his worry about you and the kids in anger…its because your always the stable one so when you dont answer he worries are you ok, are the kids ok is something wrong then gets anxious and converts it to anger guys are so much more complex and simple than we give them credit for
He is cheating and when you don’t answer he now thinks you are which drives him nuts.
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If loving him is killing you, he needs to go. You need to have that conversation with him. If he doesn’t acknowledge you and your concerns then I think you may need to reflect on where you are in your life right now. This is mental abuse. There is no need to live on egg shells.
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Leave before he does hit you. Because its coming.
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Find out why. Is he suffering from some type of anxiety that he’s not dealing with? Is it pure control or needy?
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Crazy , I cant live with that much aniexty . I would be gone.
Even if I loved him with all my heart .
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Tell him to get over it.
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I would suggest therapy . He needs to better cope with his emotions and trust you. If he came home and nothing we’re done and you still didn’t answer I would worry. But if you have proof for you actions he should be okay.
Ok. I don’t know about cheating or abuse, some people are blowing this up. But he probably has a little bit of a control issue & this is where he feels out of control. I’d start calling him constantly & c how he likes it. lol.
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I’m so sorry. I would definitely have an honest conversation with him. It could be Anxiety like another lady here mentioned. He just needs to know how it affects you. Maybe he’ll realize that he’s actually hurting you.
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He is cheating when he doesn’t answer your phone calls.
Do you have trackers on your phones? Like the “fine my” app on iPhones? My hubby used to freak out too- his mind would wander and think I died. He worries about things a lot. So, I would suggest getting an app like that and see if it helps. But- also just talk to him. Tell him it’s stressing you out. Ask why he freaks out. You’ve got to communicate with one another. 
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Sounds exhausting. I’m petty and wouldn’t ever answer after him getting angry. Big nope for me.
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This is NOT normal and needs to be sorted out / stopped.
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If you can’t bring up a discussion about this without an argument then you are being manipulated and are in an emotionally abusive relationship.
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This is a control mechanism. My ex-husband was the same way and exec after 10 yrs of divorce, if I don’t return a text fast enough, he freaks out. He doesn’t have any control over me any longer so I don’t give him the benefit of a reaction. Sadly, he does it to our son now.
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My son’s dad was exactly like that but I wasn’t like that with him or my girls dad. Buuuuut my current SO is not, but when I call and he doesn’t awnser I get upset and my mind starts going places it shouldn’t. And I’m not sure how to turn it off. 
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My EX acted this way… key word EX
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Hold him to the same
Standards so he can realize how unrealistic and unreasonable he’s being. He must answer ALL your calls if you have to answer all his.
Talk to him abt it when yall are home. Ask him to tell u why it’s so important to him if you don’t answer. Some men not all, actually do have anxiety. From either trust issues from the past to making sure his family is ok. There is a wide range of things in a person mind. Ask him to help u understand and yall both come understand each other better. Sometimes I get anxiety but I have to stop all that.
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Please please solve this now… have a conversation about how he makes you feel… get an app so if he’s worried you made it home he can see you did. I have an app 360. If my wife doesn’t answer and she’s out with her fam… I can see she’s still at the restaurant. Puts me at ease.
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Sounds like he’s cheating.
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It boggles my mind that he is adamant about you answering every time he calls but he doesn’t answer your calls……
I wouldn’t even talk to a mofo on the phone if he wanted to act like that with me. Stand your ground and don’t let him manipulate you.
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My husband panics if I don’t answer. Swears I’m dead or in danger somewhere. Nope just at home watching Netflix with my phone on the charger wayyyyy over there lol.
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Lol what’s he doin when hes not answering his phone? Maybe this is why hes soooo upset
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Text him, jumping in shower away from phone, then text when you get out. Cooking supper doing dishes, hands in water. Ext. When he says something just play it off as not wanting him to worry
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That level of control that he feels he needs, you walking on egg shells about it constantly… That’s abuse. NO ONE should feel like that in a relationship. That’s not healthy and it’s not ok.
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Let him drive himself crazy and you keep being normal. Don’t invest. Mind over matter. Sounds like a personality disorder that a heart to heart isn’t gonna fix or he would have had one with you already himself. Mine has BPD and does the same. I don’t invest in his made up insecurities or his justifying to do me wrong because of his “made up” insecurities. It’s manipulation. Best of luck.
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Honey abuse comes in all forms. I had a controlling ex that did this to me. I was once screamed at for not being able to give him my full attention on the phone, I was grocery shopping with our 3 kids at Walmart and was told to leave the groceries and the store so I could talk to him. He was a deployed soldier so the guilt trips were non stop. He was able to call multiple times throughout his day from the base he was at. But it did not matter. If I didn’t pick up I’d be called every name in the book. At one point his drunk mother called my mom to tell her I was cheating on him because he told her I never answer my phone. I begged to come home that year to my mom and was told she wouldn’t support me divorcing a soldier. So I stayed another 8 years. The damage that relationship had on my kids, myself, I cannot undo it. I still have nightmares, I wake up crying. I’m remarried to the most amazing man who will hug me right back together again. But please, I am begging you. You cannot put your kids before yourself 100% of the time because if you’re miserable and unhappy and abused that toxic cycle gets passed to your kids. It’s so damaging!!! Please walk away NOW! The violence will kick in later, that is a 100% clear indication of an abusive person who’s behavior will get worse the more he thinks you’ll tolerate it. Draw that line and set that example for your kids now while you can. Nobody has a right to make you feel that way and that is not LOVE!!! Save yourself. Because no one is coming to save you, you have to be your own heroine!!! If it’s for financial reasons get your own account and save…save…save. Find remote work! It’s out there. But take it from someone who has been there and handle this now before it gets worse. I’m so sorry luv! Look in the mirror…what do you think your worth? You’re worth the WORLD!!! You are priceless. As is your heart and who you allow to hold it. Give it only to someone who plans to protect it. And your babies of course. Please know that you are NOT ALONE!!!
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Could be a control issue or it could be he has anxiety over not knowing if your ok.it’s hard to say without knowing him.
I think maybe you and your husband might need counseling. It sounds like both of you have dug in and won’t get out.
I have had counseling for the past 7 years for grief. It has been very helpful but sad for me.
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Start doing it back to him. He misses a phone call from you call him 3 more times then start texting him. Act wild act like he acts ab it. And then after a couple days. Ask him how he feels when you act crazy over missing the phone call and yall talk it out from there.
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Simple: select a time during the days schedule. So both parties can be on the same page
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Don’t let it bother you, it’s his issue. I understand the anxiety. Work on yourself, of course tell him about the entire issue, and if he doesn’t chill out then work on not letting it stress you. Only you can control your reactions.
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Emotional abuse, and he might be cheating. We have a saying in spanish “the one who does it thinks others are also doing so”.
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Tell him how absurd it is and stop letting it bother you so much. If he wants to get pissy all the time , so be it🤷🏼♀️ You can’t let him control you and at this point he thinks he can. He will keep doing it if you keep responding to it.
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Sounds like he’s cheating and wants to make sure where you are at that time, so he’s not caught.
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He is being unreasonable. Maybe he needs counseling. Way too much pressure and Not fair to you.
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Maybe its like a cry for attention maybe something small has gone overlooked something insignificant maybe hold his hand more. I know it sounds dumb but if anything after some time of hand holding you’ll get in touch with one another again or at least comfortable enough to talk it out.
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My dad is the same way with my mom. He honestly gets annoying sometimes 
Tell him to buy you a smart watch that you can Bluetooth it to your phone so you know who’s calling you when even if your phone isn’t close by. It fixed that problem with my mom.
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It is abuse. It starts with the controlling behaviour and you are already “walking on eggshells”. It only gets worse. Either get him into counselling with you or get him out. We all love our abusers until we don’t. Do not wait too long and do not make excuses for his behaviour.
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In my experience that is the projection of a guilty conscience
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Just tell him what you wrote to us. You work full time and are a busy mom with a household to run.
A phone is not a tether.
You need to stop thinking this is a you or an us problem.
Stop reacting to his tantrums and stop walking on eggshells.
Just be factual if you miss a call with the reasons, return the call, etc
Treat him like you would a person at work if you missed a call, be professional and polite and then move on. He’ll stop seeking drama if you do not feed into it.
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Is it possible he may have undiagnosed BPD? I did and for literally YEARS I had no idea why such little insignificant things would make my blood boil.
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Tell him just like u told us.
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Get a smart watch, or do what’s best for your sanity. I personally would not put up with that attitude. Do what’s best for you. Good luck
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counseling or leave… that’s narcissistic behavior
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Projection? What’s he doin’?
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My ex used to go nuts if he tried to phone home and the phone was busy .Drove him crazy. We figured it s because when he was younger his dad was beating up his mom and she was trying to get him to call someone for help and his dad ripped phone off the wall. Maybe yours has some issue… Doesnt make it right.
Tell to hire help to do all the work and parenting, and then you can both get matching leashes to pull on whenever you feel like
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Well you got a phone for a reason right? You know he has said something in the past about you not answering it…so wouldnt you make sure or try to make sure you can hear it if he calls?..some of yalls comments are far way out of context. Sure he not cheating because he want his wife to answer when he calls
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He’d always be mad if it was me. I forget to turn my phone on ring, leave it buried in the bottom of my purse, or even the car when I come home. My hearing is bad and so even if it’s in another room I may not hear it. I never answer when I’m driving either. And yes, my husband gets upset, he was worse when we were younger. Maybe you should try calling him as much as possible, an give him a taste of his own medicine. When he asks what you want, just say something like I just called to say I love you, I just called to hear your voice, how is your day going. And when he does not answer, leave messages like is everything okay? You must be really busy. Just worried about you. How are you feeling? You didn’t call me back right away so I was wondering if something was wrong. Or you must be super busy, I haven’t heard from you.
And the next time he gets mad, just say something like I’m sorry I couldn’t get to the phone I was trying to get …the kids done with their homework, or baths or get dinner done, so maybe we could have some time together. Then there’s my favorite, my charger must not have been connected good, awww crud, my phone must need recharging. What did you want to talk about sweetie?
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Personal experience; I was at work Wednesday and my job has been cracking down on phones. He messaged me and I didn’t respond because my boss walked in my office as I was responding. I deleted my message and put my phone down and I didn’t text him back for two hours. He says to me " been busy huh? See you soon." Now, we talk through out our days, I never miss a message other than this one time. Yesterday I was at work and i had more time to talk. He didn’t respond to me the same time. I knew he was upset but I explained why and he understood. There was no hard feelings. but he did the same to me, atleast thats how I felt. Sometimes it’s just feelings and if you’re use to talking and they miss a message or call you often wonder if something happened, if they’re okay or even busy.
You get busy and so does he. But if he’s irrational about it then there’s an issue but often enough it’s genuine worry. My man worrys about about daily as I do him aswell. It doesn’t always result in cheating if he’s anxious about your call. Just make it known your feelings and discuss why he feels how he feels and vise versa. It will work out. You just gotta talk
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Turn off your phone and let the calls slip into VM. Problem solved.
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Its called control over you and it will get worst
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This is obviously based on his own insecurities, maybe in the past his ex was a cheater. Or maybe he is🤔 which could be why he feels it’s a sign. You have several options, ignore his calls alot until he brings up the attitude and you tell him your not his child and can not be controlled. You can let your phone run put of time. Or you can just be honest and tell him your tired of his behavior and you do not feel like his attitude towards you is warranted and tell him what you told us.
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My Husband doesn’t get that angry but if I don’t answer he’ll call me multiple times until I do or send me messages 
Your husband is being extremely unreasonable and controlling in the aspect of “how dare you not answer my call”, yet there is no issue if he misses your call. There shouldn’t be an issue to begin with, it’s a bit extreme. You could either start to react the way he does and when he doesn’t like it explain that that is how he makes you feel, or calmly explain that it is extremely nerve wrenching and anxiety driving if you might accidentally miss a single call from him because of his explosive reactions. Communication is important, and if it isn’t happening in a way that both parties benefit from then nobody is going to get anywhere.
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I’m a petty bitch…I would be all over his ass like he does me if he doesn’t answer MY calls…
He’s controlling and abusive. He needs counseling because this is his problem. Double standards suck.
Number would be blocked for sure.
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What does he do when he gets home? Why are YOU the one who does laundry, dinner, homework? Did he not eat and wear clothes also? Tell him to share the workload and you’ll consider being at his beck and call.
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Mental abuuussseeeee
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Tell him to chill out you as a wife are taking care of his home he needs to understand that
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He’s controlling! My ex husband was this plus way more! It gets worse not better! I finally left after 18 yrs of his controlling abusive BS!
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Does he control other aspects of your personal life and time? Examples:
- notice how long you’re gone at the store or on an errand and expect you back in “said” amount of time?
- always ask who you’re texting or talking to?
- always have to double check with him before making plans for when you’ll be out away from him with girlfriends etc?
If yes to any of those then he’s controlling.
You should always be able to bring up issues in a relationship without being gaslighted or flipped out on.
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You’re not his secretary. Unless you’ve arranged to be available for a call - he needs to ctfd
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Sounds like hes got insecurtity issues and trust issues. Tell him your an adult with big people resposibilites. You aint got time for silly shit. If its that important have him call several times and leave messages. Dont feed into his issue.
Mine does the same. Says it’s cuz he starts to worry about my safety though.
I feel the same. Lol. Cuz when you have something to say you want to say it right then.
Or could be a control thing…
Abuse comes in all forms. Just because he’s not putting hands on you does not mean he’s not abusive
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What would he rather you sit around at home all day staring at your phone and nothing else gets done?
Damn I’d be so pissed off and annoyed if my grown ass husband starting acting like a 13 year old boy toy over a phone call. I wouldn’t be able to keep my cool lol this kind of petty thing makes the blood boil
You’re his wife, not his property. Tell him grow the F up
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As an adult, he should know that it isn’t easy to be at someone’s beck and call especially when you have a full time job and responsibilities to take care of. It’s impossible to be available 24/7 and not miss a call from time to time. I always check my phone when I’ve been away from it and return calls or messages as needed but I’m not going to walk around with it attached to me to make my husband feel better. We both miss each other’s phone calls. 99% of those calls aren’t emergencies. It sounds like he has some trust or control issues and he needs to get it under control because there’s not many people who don’t miss a few calls. Also if his behavior is causing you to feel anxious then he really needs some help. He has no right to make you feel this way and I would recommend getting it under control sooner rather than later.
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That’s abusive, even if he doesn’t put his hands on you. Leave. It’s a red flag.
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Keep Ignoring his calls and teach him his place. That is what I would do at least. Control is a form of abuse and that’s what this is.
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He’s emotional abusing you he doesn’t have to physically put his hands on you to abuse you and he’s wrong for getting that anger over you not answering his calls at that exact moment cause I betcha if u did and something wasn’t done like dishes or dinner or baths or laundry cause you was on the phone with him he would get that anger abt something not being done. You shouldn’t have anxiety over missing his calls cause that’s not good for you that’s not good for the household cause you’re walking on eggshells cause of it. Tell him he either stops getting mad abt it or he needs help with his anger because it’s not normal at all
This would be me purposely ignoring his calls because who tf does he think he is 
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I was in a relationship like this first it started out he made sure I was on the phone with him all day long even if we were working together. I wasnt allowed to answer other calls without putting it on conference so he could listen in. Then it turned into him getting angry at me if I didnt answer his calls because I was working or busy with my kids and other chores or that I just didnt want to sit on the phone all day long cuz I had a migraine. Then it turned into him controlling everything I did and I was not allowed to be out of his site, even at work. It took awhile before he started putting his hands on me but it definitely happened even though he said “Im not that type of man. I would never hit a woman.” It does not get better. It gets a lot worse. It starts as one thing and escalates to more. You can try to talk to him as much as you can but I doubt he will listen to your feelings or care that you are doing other things.
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When I got home from work I was so sick of all the phone calls during work that I didn’t want to answer the phone either. Try calmly explaining it to him and ask him why he’s so controlling. If you’re having issues, you’ll need to talk about it. Be careful though.
I would just tell him flat out, "I do not exist to be at your beck and call! Treat me with the same respect you would treat anyone else who missed your call. I will call back when I have a minute. " And then I might just get petty…I would call him constantly and boy would he get a blast from me if he didn’t answer every damn time! I would call to say hi. I would call to talk about dinner. I would call to tell him the kids just told a funny story. I would call him in the bathroom. I would call him 50 damn times a day! Payback.
No way would I allow my husband to run my life.
I have anxiety and it’s miserable. If this böy is making your anxiety be awful all day long over a phone call then he is not wörth it. He’s making you mîserable
Do you call him when you see his message? Maybe you should.
Girlllllll noooooo !!!
I already been through that and I’m telling you it will drive you to the point of you hating him. I used to have to be on the phone with him or on video chat 24 7 every day.
Eventually I couldn’t go anywhere and I was only 14 ! I couldn’t talk to my family it was horrible and was getting worse.
I dealt with it for a year .
it’s not worth it .
This turned so abusive for me please get out of there .
That is highly toxic and his control tactics be strong.
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Just tell him to stop it ,
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Unacceptable behavior in any circumstance but if you’re a primary caregiver to children that makes it—worse—or more unrealistic.
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I use to be like that to my partner when he worked away but I got use to it and don’t even text or ring him much anymore I just see him when he gets home. I think it was because of all the female friends he use to have staying at his house when I was pregnant with our first child that made me a little bit paranoid but things are really good now.
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Youre busy ! And hes crazy ! If he gets mad over that he needs help. I have a 3yo and a 5 mo imx busy all day and night. My husband works and usually doesnt call when hes working. I assume hes busy. He will call our son when hes out of work on his way home. Or randomly like yesterday he was moving locations and called.
I have a family member who Is highly narcissistic and this is one of the things he does. As a matter of fact, after years of manipulation and mental and verbal abuse, I finally had to go no contact. The straw that actually broke the camels back, so to speak, is when he got angry at me for not answering my phone (I called him back five minutes later bc I was having breakfast) and then he refused to take any of my phone calls for the next month. Unfortunately, the controlling person’s behavior will only get worse rather than better (especially if this is a narcissistic trait), even if you do talk to him about it. If this is one of many controlling things he is doing, then you might want to consider leaving. Being in this persons in a circle, whether it is as a sibling, a spouse, a parent, or anything else is a lifetime of anxiety until you walk away.
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I just turned her phone off. She won’t answer , no sense paying for it.
You can try saying something but im sure he will always keep doing it… My man does it and bombs my phone! If i am out and about with someone he will call their phones too! Very very controling… And he knows about it but keeps doing it… Definitely a narcissistic trait…
Fuck he must be my ex’s brother. But she stepped it up and just went on line and checked phone records to see why I didn’t answer. Does he get on his knees to smell your underwear when your taking a crap to see if he smells dried up cum?
This is a narcissistic control tactic. If he’s the type of man that will listen to you, sit down and have a discussion with him about it. He may be willing to change the behavior after changing his perspective. If the idea of talking to him about it triggers your anxiety, or he isn’t the type to sit down and talk, you need to start watching for other behaviors that maybe you didn’t even realize are along the same vein. Like a previous poster said, not all abuse is physical. It’s very easy to gloss over toxic behaviors as “that’s just the way he is” or “that’s just a quirk he has”, but over time, those behaviors can increase until you reach a breaking point. You may need to seek professional guidance.
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Is this new behavior? Cause damn
We are you scared of getting into a fight…? Tell him to fuck off your busy that’s why you didn’t answer.
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Just talk to him and explain that sometimes you have your hands full and can’t answer right away. Explain to him how it makes you feel and be very open. He needs to understand how his behavior makes you feel and if he’s then not willing to fix it after you’ve talked to him, might look into counseling to help you both communicate better in a safe environment
He sounds clingy and insecure. I myself do not answer most of the time my phone upstairs or wherever. If someone calls I do not hear it so I get back to them. I am old school we do not keep the phone attached to our hip. Has your husband always been this way? Do you have truth issue? Has some been cheated on in a past relationship? You need to sit down at the kitchen table and ask your husband what the deal is about answering of the phone and why it such a big deal to him. Find out why it upset him so. Nip this stuff I butt before there a new worst crisis.
I almost never answer my phone… personal or work. I usually leave it in my tool bag when I’m working or on the counter at home. Everyone is use to it and my husband doesn’t stress it ever. I got a smart watch that notifies me of calls and an messages and I can answer them on my watch as well.
Seems like he’s the one with the issue! That’s unacceptable behavior on his part. Sounds like he needs to go see someone to deal with whatever issues he has. If not that’s unhealthy for you and him. That’s definitely not normal and it’s no way to live. You could try talking to him, but if he’s they type that will blow up about it there’s probably no need. I suggest therapy. He needs it. And, if you continue to put up with it soon you’ll need it too. Time to do something about it. Stop allowing him to treat you that way! Men will treat you how you allow them to!!!
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I used to be like this. I got upset because I was worried my ex was a thin women I feared for her safety however when she would call back and be all anxious I realized what my behaviour was doing and just told her why I get upset after that she either called back soon and eased my fear or would be more aware of where her phone was so to ease my fears by answering. I also realized how it looked from the outside like I was a cheater. He should check himself.
You’ve been married to him for 8 years. If you can’t have a simple conversation about a bad habit over answering phone calls. Then you have bigger issues…
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