My husband had an affair and now I don't know if I want him in the room when I give birth: Advice?

No. Negative ghost rider. He can be the father after you get a stress free birthing experience. Have your bonding time. He can visit after all is complete. Fuck him. Honestly i would leave. And send him divorce papers and custody paper work. You are worth way more then that. Never settle. Life is way to short to stress out over. Move forward and breath. Much respect to you girl. Just remember your worth

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He lost his chance when he put someone else before his Family, prayers for your healing

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He doesn’t want to be with you but he has to stay or else he won’t even be allowed to see his child born. He ain’t cheating, he wants out however he can’t do that cause you are not mature enough to actually co-parent with him.

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No. Fuck him. You have that baby in whatever way you are most comfortable with whoever you are comfortable with.

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If it’s gonna stress you out throw his ass out✌🏼

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Screw-in he doesn’t even deserve to be I the room! Pfft what?? I’m preggo and ur fucking another chick?? Uh no good day she can keep u.

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I think you have to remember that if you go back you May be sorry if you don’t share that moment. You have to do what’s in your heart :heart:

Awww y’all’s comments are so sweet :heart: they’re totally right, btw. Cheating is so hurtful & right now it’s all about you & a happy, healthy baby

Bring someone that cares for you and that will support you.

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I am so sorry!!! Do what you can live with and not regret! The absolute best of luck! Lots of :heart: from Iowa!

Sending positive emotions on your special day

Btw. The more stressed you are, the more likely you are to tear. For your health I’d keep him out

Don’t have him there and don’t feel bad for not having him there.

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Seems like a lot of people want revenge here which is not always what’s right. Even if my guy cheated, I would never cheat my daughter by taking away those first tender moments with both of her parents. You loved each other enough to make a baby…love him a little longer for the good of your child, then do what you “feel” again. I’m sorry you are hurting. :heart:

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I am so sorry that you are going through this.

I’m sorry but I wouldn’t let him in the room. You need to be relaxed and comfortable. F*** him

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I am so sorry it’s all up to you…

Follow what you want. Not because he’s the father he should be there.

My husband cheated when I was pregnant. He came for the birth of our daughter. He was my rock and I couldn’t imagine anyone else there but him. Mid being induced due to stress (ha), chemical induced contractions, the worst pain of my life.

My ex: you know I don’t think I really ever wanted kids.

Mind you this was our third. :woman_facepalming:t2::woman_shrugging:t2:

Do what’s going to make you most comfortable.

He has only seen her a handful of times in the last 3-years but I don’t regret him being there.

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And for the “special” people it’s not about revenge… that room, until the baby pops out is her’s it is about her 100%… no one else… you forfeit any rights the second you forgot… if he did nothing & she didn’t want him in there she could still decide that. Unless a baby is ripping out of your body… you have no right to be in that room… and the oh your child will be hurt because you kicked him out… stupidest. Kids do not care who was in there… they care who sticks around & raises them. Him not wanting to be there, may hurt… but… kids hate hearing delivery stories, for the most part… all this he still has right to the child, yes soon as that baby pops out he has rights, before that he has no rights to her, or her body… grow up.

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He broke your heart but he didn’t break you .

the birthing room is about you… NO ONE ELSE. NO ONE HAS A RIGHT TO BE IN THERE UNLESS YOU WANT THEM. NO ONE. The dad being in the room is never actually about him, it’s about you wanting them there for your own comfort, & the fact they get to see their child born is a bonus. And it’s a small punishment for the man that loves you, I’m going through pain you will feel it too :sweat_smile:. BUT IT IS ALL ABOUT YOUR COMFORT. DO NOT LET ANYBODY TELL YOU DIFFERENT!! So many things can happen & you being stressed more than the normal, hurt, sad or anything in that room… NO!!! JUST NO!!! He can sit his butt in that waiting room & wait like anybody else who is family to your child… though NOT sure how things work during the pandemic hospital rules. No if you can have anybody it is the person who will bring you comfort, De-stress you…

No way won’t take him back into my baby lifetime

No way he doesn’t deserve it

He is the dad. Whatever happens between the two of you should never play a role in the relationship he has with his kids.

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He may not be allowed just because of COVID

I haven’t been in this situation but I would think of you first . Will it stress you out having him there ? You dont want to add anymore stress than you need… this is YOUR day… I would go with your first gut feeling… congratulations on your baby :heart::heart: you got this !

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Ok im coming from a dad perspective on this. My son is my world. Yall all need to remember that kid is as much as the dads as the moms. Not sure where the dad lots his right to his kid here. The kid did nothing wrong here so why should the kid be punished for not having both parents there to support it coming into this world. So my question is this. Later if yall get a divorce or yall stay together. The dad dates someone u don’t like u gonna take his child away for punishment. I understand he messed up and his punishment is gonna be losing a u and deal with what comes from that. Im a father that has my son just like his mom. She is no more important in that child’s life than I am. So I understand you r angry and prob half the other people in here are speaking from an angry perspective as well. So put your differences aside for a special occasion and be adults. This actually should not even be a discussion. That baby is yalls which means it took two to make it. So without both parties there would not be a child. Hope u read this and really think about it.

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This moment is about your pregnancy, you, and your baby. Your connection and bond for 9 months has nothing to do with dad. He can be a part of the babies life after you have your moment. This is when the cord that connects you two is detached, and it’s you and your babies moment! Period

Women who let their partners in are giving them an additional gift. You already gave him children. He doesn’t deserve to share the gift that is yours

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Keeping him out of delivery and keeping him from the baby are 2 different things. Not only does he not deserve to be there, you just don’t need the added stress. You are literally pushing a child out of your body… You need peace, and you won’t have that with him in there. Id tell him if he wanted to be there, he can stand outside the door, give you 15 minutes alone after the baby is born, then he can step in. That’s not wrong, I dont care how you flip it. Just because he provided half of the gene pool doesnt mean you have to be emotionally stressed during the most painful time of your life.

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Honey I have 3 boys and my husband cheated on me more than once. Now i have been in the middle of divorce since before this covid crap started (with courts closed it kinda puts a hold on all that). Everyone will give you advice on what they think you should do. But sweetheart I’m telling you fr experience & still so heart broken like yourself(my husband already has another woman living with him, 9 years and it feels like i meant nothing to him), but this is something you have to listen to your heart. My only advice would be to pray, pray, pray for god to help you with this difficult decision, to help guide you and give you peace about whatever you choose. Yea he will still be the parent and y’all will have to co parent. But you choose what you feel comfortable with. The birth is about you bringing the child you’ve been carrying into this world. So chose what feels right. And honey I’m so sorry about what your going through. Its devastating i know. But you will pull through. We’re women, we know we’re strong, but even more so than we even realize.

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To be honest with you, if it were me, if I felt like I would feel uncomfortable with him there, then no. He wouldn’t be in there. Simple. But if you feel as though you’ll be okay and he won’t cause any dramas then I think it’s the right thing to do by allowing him to be there. I personally would obviously be ending the marriage but allowing him a relationship with his child. That would be all though.
At the end of the day, it will come down to how you feel though. No one can tell you that :kissing_heart:

I didn’t have him in the room with our last and I LOVED IT! I’m sorry but giving birth is about YOU. Your the one going through a traumatic ass experience. YOU get to decide who’s there. He can easily see the baby soon as you get taken to the mother baby unit. He DOES NOT NEED TO BE IN THE ROOM IF YOU DONT WANT HIM THERE. AND DO NOT LET NO BODY GUILT TRIP YOU INTO BELIEVING OTHERWISE.

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The only reason I would allow him in the room is to show him what I’m going through show him how strong and amazing I am and let him see the birth and tell him to get fucked afterwards. What a disgusting man hope you’re okay xxx

My now ex husband left me for his bazillionth mistress 4 weeks before our daughter was due, as angry as I was at him, I needed him there and looking back I’m glad he was bc I wouldn’t want to explain to my daughter why he wasn’t. That being said, that choice isn’t for everyone, my ob questioned me on it a million times. If he will make things more stressful for you, I don’t think it’s wrong to leave him out. Whatever you choose, prayers for you momma :purple_heart:

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in a perfect world…It’s his baby to so no matter what he did he still deserves to be given the chance to be a father and witness the birth! BUT, I’m a bitch so I’d be like yaaaa nope you lost the chance to see my lady parts when you cheated sooooo after I give birth and hold my baby first then we will discuss your entering my room.

My husband cheated and left me when I was 10 weeks pregnant. He was not involved in the pregnancy as he was all about this new woman. At the last minute I called him to the delivery room not bc I wanted to but, bc it just felt like the responsible thing to do. That it wasnt about me and him but now him and the baby. He came, it ripped my heart out, but I also saw that look on his face when he saw her and she grabbed his finger. That man fell head over heels on love at that moment. It was so easy to see on his face. We did not get back together and he married that woman. It’s been hard getting past that. I see just how close he is with our daughter and even though it tore me apart emotionally to have him there when he didnt deserve it was the best thing I could have ever done for her. Shes 12 and they have a wonderful father daughter relationship ship. A huge price for me to pay at the time but I am constantly reminded of how me doing the right thing for her at that time and not for me will give her a lifetime of confidence. The difference in a girl growing up with or without a father are tremendous. God put it in my heart and I obeyed. It had to be God bc there is no way I would have let that man be near me in my most vulnerable time. Those two have been thick as thieves since she was born. She is the absolute daddys little girl. He is still an ass to me at times and I still want to punch him in the throat a lot but, him and our daughter have such a tight bond that i know wouldn’t have happened if i had not allowed him there at the birth.

You’re absolutely understandably hurt and angry. Your child is an innocent bystander in this. You’re not uncomfortable with him seeing you naked or giving birth, it’s happened already, twice atleast… You’re badly hurt and mad as hell but that doesn’t change the fact that you didn’t make this baby alone. You can scream at him, cuss at him, bore laser holes through him with your eyes, make it clear this is as close to he gets to that honey pot ever again if that’s how you feel… But if he was there for the others, he should have that experience with this one as well. Siblings compare notes and experiences and stories about when they were born. It takes a really big pair of big girl panties to look at this situation without your decisions being clouded by pain and anger, and I hope you can find some peace… It’s very hard. Ultimately tho, it is up to you who is in the room. Just think long and hard about what you’re really doing. Is it because he truly doesn’t deserve the experience? Does your child deserve to know one day that daddy wasnt in the room because he did something insanely selfish and stupid? Depriving him of seeing the first moments of his child’s life because you’re angry that he’s a lying, cheating deuch canoe would be understandable… but would it be the right thing to do?

Side Note… I found out my ex husband had slept with over 6 different women while we were trying to concieve, only to find out he was scum and I didn’t ovulate and would never get pregnant. I FEEL YOU! Aallllll my dreams died at the same time. I understand the hurt, the anger and wanting to shoot him in his penis. Just make sure you wont regret this decision one day. I am now happily married to the greatest man ever, with a 2 year old son that was a total WTF out of the blue thing. It gets better, just don’t let it make you bitter. And if he’s a good guy that made a bad mistake, maybe you should both figure out what went wrong and if you want to stick it out together. Maybe try counseling for yourself and as a couple… It’s your life, your decisions, just make sure you can live with whatever you decide. Goodluck mama!

I experienced the same situation in 2011. I had found out my fiancée was cheating on me while pregnant with our second daughter. I had a high risk pregnancy and was on bed rest from 20-36 weeks. I left him during my pregnancy. I went to stay with my parents at another state. Four weeks before giving birth, I went back to “my” house. The whole time I had been gone he didn’t try to look for me or our 3 year old daughter. He took the opportunity to maximize his time with his new fling. I was hurt and disappointed. I made it clear to him that being back didn’t mean we were back together, it meant I wasn’t going to lose my job in the middle of all this. (I had to report back to work at 36 weeks and let nature take its course).
I had no family in the state where I lived with him. His sister in law and my dear coworker offered to be present when my baby was born. My induction date was set. I didn’t know if I was going to have him be part of the birth. However, the morning of my induction he got home at the time I was leaving to the hospital (around 7am). He was just getting home, still drunk and with hickeys around his neck. He asked, “where are you going?” In a drunken stupor. His mom, who was going to watch our 3yr old, replied,”they’re going to the hospital. Don’t you remember you’re having a baby today?” We were all disgusted by him and we left him home.
At the hospital, I asked my OBGYN if I can deny any “guests” wanting to see me. She said, they can arrange anything that I wished. It was then that I decided not to have him be part of the birth of our child. I gave my Doctor his name. She let the nurses know. I guess he had sobered up a bit and he made it to the hospital asking to see me. The nurses turned him away. He was in the parking lot blowing up my phone, I didn’t answer. He called his sister in law and she answered and she was in tears asking me if I was going to let him in, I replied coldly, no. He tried to come and see me again and the nurses turned him away. A couple of hours later, I gave birth to my daughter, next to his sister in law and my coworker, who helped me be strong during my pushes. I felt so strong during each push. When my daughter was born and I looked into her eyes with tears of happiness and relief, I knew I had made the right decision keeping him away. It was MY happy and proud moment. I’m glad he wasn’t there to take that away from me. I had endured so much during my pregnancy. I had had enough of his stupidity and acting as if we didn’t matter to him. I was so done with him! After my 6week check up I left him for good and never turned back. I raised 2 beautiful daughters with my parents help. They talk to their Dad and he hasn’t changed. He’s cheated on 2 of his other partners he’s had. His family loves me and I love them. There are no hard feelings because I don’t like to live hating people. At the end, I know I won. I have the girls. I’ve raised them, I received my Master’s degree while they were little. I have my dream job. I kept pushing through all because of my daughters.
There is no easy answer to your question. But I’m so glad I didn’t share that moment with him. That was MY moment and I don’t have that Memory or pictures of him being there while our daughter was being born.
I guess you have to ask yourself, how do you want that memory to be? Will you want to see pictures of him holding your baby? What would the aftermath of you going back home with the baby look like? Will he grow resented feelings toward the baby if he’s not included in the birth? Will you be together and deal with the aftermath of him not being part of the birth? Will he “throw” it in your face if he’s not included and make you feel guilty about it? Will he be understanding?
I didn’t want my ex to be there in a moment made for happiness. Even if he weren’t drunk and full of hickeys, I wouldn’t have allowed him in because I didn’t want him to see me go through that pain and suffering the birth would bring. I didn’t want him to see me vulnerable. I didn’t want to share that happiness with him. I didn’t want another memory of us being together and sharing a happy moment.

Side note: when my daughter was born, she was and is a spitting image of him! :joy:

Armando Espinoza If you don’t have anything to truly contribute other than being a jerk, please keep your comments to yourself. Where is the admin?!

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I wouldn’t want him there, good luck

Im so sorry :frowning: hope you can heal :two_hearts::two_hearts::two_hearts: prayers for you

Have someone there that will support YOU :sparkling_heart:
He clearly doesn’t !

How can you Care anout he’s feeling when he’s broken u into peaces

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My ex fiance cheated on me while I was pregnant several times cause I wasn’t showing him enough attention I forgave let him the delivery room stayed for two more years while he continued to cheat so I left if your not comfortable with it you don’t have to let him in

If you don’t feel comfortable having him in the room then don’t. Go with your gut.

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I might have the unpopular opinion here but I would not let him if he were my husband. After? Yes. He can meet baby. But this is a vulnerable time for you and he has proven that he can’t be trusted to protect you and take care of your heart. I personally wouldn’t allow him. Being the father doesn’t automatically give him the right to be in the room. Giving birth is a medical event for YOU. Not him. You need support and love in there. Not a constant reminder of what happened.

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You need people in that room you love and trust to get YOU through a really painful time

He can see the baby after
Screw him

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First I am so sorry he did that to you especially in such a vulnerable time. I went through the same thing. There was NO way he was going to be in the delivery room. He doesn’t care one bit about your feelings and clearly has no respect for you as the mother of his child or he would of never cheated. It’s his loss. He should of thought about his actions prior to doing them especially while carrying his child and the effect it was going to have on you and the baby. Shame on him. You deserve better by the way and I hope you see that once you are able to get past all the hurt and heartbreak.

If you dont want it then absolutely not. Have him in the waiting room to see after the baby is born. That is your body going through labor, he dont need to see that if you dont want him to. You need to be ok and less stressed for delivery and then able to rest afterwards without drama or feeling ill at ease. Dont keep baby from him. But the actual birth? That is completely in your hands and your choice.

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If he cheated on you he didn’t care about your feelings why should you care about his

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When it comes to labor/delivery do what you feel will make you comfortable. You are already bringing a life into this world and that is hard enough. It was his decision on the actions he made so now it is your turn. Stress with labor does not go well. You don’t progress as well, your blood pressure is sky high and all of that stress can cause your beautiful baby can suffer. Listen to your gut on this one, you don’t have to be the good guy all of the time. Take care of yourself and that baby of yours first and foremost. Stay strong and chin up, don’t give in in what you feel is right.

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Do what’s best for your health and sanity. End of story. You’ve got this.

He lost the privilege to be there. He chose to cheat on you. If his presence makes you uncomfortable then by all means do not have him there. Your mental being will be the most important thing at that moment.
No excuse for a man to do such cruel thing when his woman is carrying his child.

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Affair = easy FUCK NO.
What’s there to think about smh

Mine also cheated while I was pregnant with my first. I wish I’d known about it because my mom would have been in the room instead. You need all the support you can get and he’s already proven to be super selfish.

Well, ppl may disagree with me but once my trust is broken you don’t get it back… this is huge and I am very sorry this happened to you but this will always be in the back of your mind when he walks out the door… “ Is he really going where is says he is?” It’s not a fun life to live always wondering if your husband is being truthful and faithful…
I think he’s lost his privilege in the delivery too as some above said …

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No way. I wouldnt want any stress while I’m giving birth and his face alone would make me angry

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Youre devastated and heart broken and i can understand you not wanting to continue the relationship but he didnt do anything to your child or children… As the father he deserves to see his kid born… If you dont want him in there before hand or after thats up to you… But as a dad he should be able to see his baby born as long as he doesnt do anything to stress you out while in labor

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As much as I wanted my ignorant husband there in my delivery room I made the hard decision to not even tell him I was in labor. He didnt or hasnt shown interest so why look for the bimbo. Out of all our children he had only been to one of the births so whatever. I dont have time for nonsense. He has never really been around so didnt see the point and he never reached out to me either so whatever again.lol. Probably not the same situation but they did tell me he had/has a girlfriend idk how true that is because he is a hoe and if a bitch and drugs is more important than your own children well you can fuck off. Idk. Its up to you really but if anything I would just wait until baby is if he wants to see baby. I think I would feel disgusted and have a bad negative vibe if he would be in the same room after having an affair and hes an idiot to even ask to be there after that shit.

It is up to you and you do what you want but I would not let him in the room and I would leave his dumb ass

Follow your gut. it will never lie to you

He stuck his dick in someone else while you were carrying HIS child. Who cares what he wants? He clearly didnt give a damn about you OR his kid when he was fucking his new bitch. You deserve so much better then that. Do what you need to do to get the most support for YOU on that day. Forget everyone else.

In my opinion it would also matter what your hospital is doing because of Covid… if he’s there does that mean you cannot have a support person of your choice there as well? I agree with your body your choice. He caused all the pain you’re currently in so if you’re uncomfortable with him there then so be it

At the end of the day, it’s your body and your choice.
He can still be present and there when the child is born, but he doesn’t need to be in the room while you are giving birth…
That should be reserved for your support system and since he has been having an affair while you’ve been carrying your child, I believe it would not be in the best interest of your health for you to have someone like that in your support circle.
I’m sure you have a Mom, sister or friend that should be there to help you through this process and that should be where they step in to support you.
Again, you are taking nothing away from him, he can still be present in the hospital for his child’s birth.

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I’m so sorry he has put you in this situation :cry: I still think he should be there when you give birth. It’s a once in a lifetime experience to see a child’s birth. I’m praying for your situation :pray:t3:

He totally muffed up, I’d have my best friend do it so she could actually be supportive :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Personally; if I were in your position my view would be that he lost that privilege as a father by stepping outside your marriage. He needs to deal with the consequences of his actions. I wouldn’t let him in. I’m sure there are plenty other support people in your life that would HAPPILY take that place.

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Honestly I’ve been there. But in the end he was in the room. As much as I wanted to be hateful and evil towards him, I didn’t want to take away something like that. He can focus on the baby that’s it. Because depending on how long y’all been together, the feelings and emotions, you may find yourself last minute wishing he was there and you weren’t alone. Not to mention, god forbid, there’s a problem. Children half the time have the father’s blood type. The baby may need it. I know he messed up royally but don’t let his mistakes turn into your mistakes. But, it’s all up to you. Personally I couldn’t take that from him. But you may be able to. Just an fyi, he knew he messed up but he still brings it up till this date 11 years later how I gave him that honour to be there and he is forever grateful. We are on good terms mostly because I let him be there for that moment. But everyone is different. I might have gotten lucky. Either way you choose, I wish you and the baby, everything good that life has to offer.

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Have him in the room but remember you don’t need him. Rely on the nurse assigned to you the entire time for support during the process. Than once you have the baby and are over come with emotion- happy and smiling and holding you’re new and fresh born baby, without even loooking at him. Tell him to get out…

Don’t let him hold her yet. He can hold her later.

If he’s a real man, happy to see his child born and excited. You saying this will crush him and catch him by surprise at the same time.

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I had a similar situation. My ex had a weekend fling and got her pregnant, I still offered to allow him in the room

Well yes he is the father but he can wait in the waiting room like everyone else and think about his selfish choices while someone like your mom or friend supports you in the delivery room. Once the baby is born then he can come in and see him or her…but it’s your body and intimately you will be needing someone who supports you in that room…someone you can trust. You can still start Co parenting off right by letting him come in right after the baby is born. You carry the baby and you deliver the baby, once it’s out is when you need to worrying about Co parenting. You want as little stress as possible in that room.

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Sorry i know he had an affair and your hurt and angry as you should be ur in a vulnerable state however and ppl may disagree but ou dont play tit for tat like he cheated on you and hurt u not the childbut having the mentality of he hurt me im gonna hurt himor u done this now ur not beig there is utterly childish rise above his childishness of cheating on you and breaking p the family by being the bigger person. Yes your not gna like the fact o him being near ou but he has every single right to be in that delivey room to see his baby being brought in to the world a father is not a second class citizen he is the parent also and should be there no matter what. You may go the loser one day if your child asks questions and you have to explain theyre dad wasnt there because you were pissed off (which you have the right to be) but like other ppl have said syart the co parenting jow and sometimes its better to cut ur losses and be the bigger person as itl just cause u stress with him bitching n moaning n u both arguing over the same thing. Hold that head high beauiful and bite the bullet for your child.

If you want advice, you should expect a lot of harsh words on just this subject. This is your life, you have to live with what is best for you & whatever you do, if you don’t want , again harsh unkind words, keep off the internet. What ever you do, best of luck. I will tell you as a M/B nurse, I had a beautiful new mother (many yrs ago) We had a large floor, she asked me if there was so & so on the floor, I looked at my sheet (we have 45 rooms) I told her yes, just didn’t say what room, She then told me that was her husbands girlfriend !!! I really didn’t know how to respond, I wanted to ask her if she needed a good lawyer. But i didn’t, All i said if she needed me, to just call, I did see her husband go in, Good looking guy, suit, stayed a while & then he went to see his girlfriend.

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I was in a similar situation with the birth of my third child. I found out a few days before the birth and I decided to let my best friend be my labor coach instead of him and right when it was time for me to start pushing, I called him in to see the birth and cut the cord. I’m glad I let him in to witness that, even though what he did didn’t deserve that kind of grace (I felt at the time), because it’s not a moment you can re-do. We never did work things out, but I don’t have guilt about how I handled the birth of my daughter either. Do what feels right in your heart. Good luck.

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It’s your body, your moment. It maybe his child, but if you don’t want him there, that’s your right.

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Women go through a physical trauma when giving birth.
The question is, will his presence help you, or cause you stress.
Its not about him.
Yes his baby. But he had stated caring for this childs Life Wrong. Imo

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I was in a similar situation (feel free to pm if you’d like) but I had him in the room, for my daughters sake , and I don’t regret it

The delivery isnt just about you and him. Its about the whole family unit(older kids and baby too). If you still want him to be a part of the family unit (not necessarily married but a part of it) the i would say allow him in

Well, are you staying with him?

What he did was to you, he did not towards baby though yes your the mother. If for spite because he hurt you thats hard but because thats hurting what hasnt started his father journey

Its completely up to you and you shouldn’t feel any guilt over not letting him. At the end of the day this is a medical procedure and the goal is to keep you as calm and relaxed as possible. You need to feel safe and if that means he can’t be in the room with you then thats how it should be

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Having a baby is stressful enough.
Dont feel like you Have to have him in the room.
There is nothing wrong with you having someone in that room that is there to help you
If he feels so strongly about wanting to be there when you have the baby, then he can visit when you have delivered.

Congratulations and good luck

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What he did to you is wrong but the baby has nothing to do with it. I would allow him at the hospital, just not in the room while your in labor. It’s still his child, not allowing him to be there would be wrong. At the end of the day it’s your decision though.

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I wouldn’t have him there but that’s just me

If you are uncomfortable with it then I would say no. He can visit the baby after.

I know what he did was not ok but let him in the room this is a once in a life time thing and he should be there for the birth just tell him hey you can be there but the second you start drama or make me uncomfortable you need to leave if anything have him in the hospital and when it’s time to push let him in then

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U are already a great mom! Being so so mature about makibg sure he keeps his right as a dad to be there for the birth. U could be bitter n have every right to be… But ur not. Maybe keep him out until ur right about to push? That way u can relax during the labor part instead of dealing with him tge entire time. Im so sry he did that to u. Most awful, cruel thing a man can do his pregnant gf/wife. I can only imagine how u must be feeling

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No don’t let him. You need to be comfortable, relaxed and supported… not stressing about what he did

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Im so sorry you have to go through that right now! But honestly your the one who is going to be pushing a baby out and if you arent comfortable with him being in the room then dont let him! You need to be the most comfortable and relaxed you can! And yes it is his baby HOWEVER he probably should have thought about that before jumping in bed with another woman! Him not being there would be 100% his fault! Dont let him put any of it on you and dont you put any of it on yourself!

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If you don’t want him there don’t make yourself uncomfortable and stress yourself out because that could end up being a very bad situation not only for you but the baby as well, it’s your decision Mama, don’t stress yourself out

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You need to be comfortable during delivery. Do what is best for you!

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You are the one giving birth. His feelings do not matter, you’re not robbing him of this experience. He didn’t give a shit about your feelings while getting his rocks off, he didn’t care about you or your children while choosing some “strange” over your family. The only reason to bring him into the delivery is if it will somehow bring you comfort.

Let him in…after you.sign the birth certificate, file for divorce. F that!

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What you feel is best, is best. If you feel he should not be in the delivery room with you, then he should not. That’s person that is with you, is to be your support and the person who helps you feel safe. He violated that for you and it is absolutely ok and normal to feel the way you do. If your intuition tells you it’s not the right decision for him to be there, then listen to that; he made the choices he did and he will have to deal with the repercussions whatever they are. :heart: whatever choice you make it will be the right one for you and your children.

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I can’t imagine the pain. Whatever you choose to do will be fine . If you don’t want him there than he should respect you and stay away until the baby is born . I wouldn’t want my husband there either, not because i was being ugly but because it would be uncomfortable and painful. You don’t need that kinda of stress , i am so sorry your going through this. I’m Praying for you heart to heal.

I’m sorry I know people probably wont like this just my opinion I’ve been there my feelings are it’s not just to you he decided to betray the whole family when stepping out of your marriage he deserves nothing it’s a family unit he didn’t think about when he was doing his thing

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Even if he’s not in there, you should have someone in there without. You will need it. Especially with being allowed only one visitor the entire stay. You’ll need a support person during delivery for sure!!!

He can meet the baby after :woman_shrugging:t2:

This happened to me with my first. I ended up feeling guilty and let him be in the room. He tried to touch my leg during a contraction and I punched him. He then asked if the baby would have his last name (I was at 9 cm almost ready to push) and I lost it. My mom got him out of the way and was a way better labour partner from then on. He stayed to meet her, but didnt come back the whole 4 days I was in the hospital. I feel like I would have had a much better experience had it just been my mom in there. I wouldnt do it.

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