he’s not going to change. he’s shown you who he is. time to get out!
He made his choices, do not be influenced by his self destruction. He wants you to feel responsible for his emotions. He can cry in some other ladies bed…
You can only be responsible for your own happiness
Say tah tah to that pos
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He’s crying cause he’s sad he can’t keep taking advantage of you. Push forward. Don’t look back. He had 10 years to get his thumb out his butt and treat you right.
You are not responsible for his feelings or his actions. So not take him back because it will be the same old thing. Not sure if children are involved but not good for them to continue to see you treated like this with constant cheating. Not good for them to see him drinking all the time either. I would check into community programs such as social services or low income housing. You can do this! When I was contemplating a divorce (before going through with it) I was very scared. A co-worker gave me the best advice or reassurance. She told me I had no reason to be scared because k had been doing it alone all along. It really was some great advice and gave me courage! Thankfully my ex has turned into an amazing father but together we were no good.
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If you can prove he cheated depending on the state he is screwed in divorce court. I would talk to a lawyer and stick to your guns
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Leave unless you want to live with someone who will continue to cheat on you
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He should have thought about what he was doing before he did it for a decade. He didn’t take your feelings into consideration so don’t worry about his now.
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I’m sorry but he needs to get out of your home. If you sell your home you can both get out. He should not be there if you are divorcing and he has cheated. Perhaps a little separation will bring more clarity to the issue
I would say get the divorce, but If you guys can’t afford to live seperate what’s a divorce gonna do anyhow? You’re gonna get divorced and still live in the same house? Begging for you back? He still technically has you, you never left. I would make him leave and get a roommate.
why go back. hell no
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You suffered way too much for waaaay too long , you BETTER NOT fold 
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It’s tearing him apart? Who cares!? He tore your marriage apart. He’s only begging for you back so he can keep all the money and house and not split it with you, while he carries on cheating! He doesn’t care about you. Find someone who does.
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He didn’t cry when he was cheating. You deserve better!
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If it was a single drunken one night stand and he was truly remorseful, I could see considering staying (it would take a lot of hard work though). However, since its was an ongoing thing that didn’t stop, I would continue to stand your ground. The things he’s saying to you are completely manipulative and I’d bet dollars to donuts he’d just go right back to cheating.
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3rd sentence in that’s on you sorry
Oldest trick in the book. He got caught!
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Do you have a job-- can you support the way you live-- without him?? If so-- don’t take him back-- he will only continue to be a creep! Been there-- done that-- know from experience.
That is very toxic for you. He made the decision to mess around w other women. Also think about STD’s he can give you. He is an alcoholic and that is onother very bad example you are teaching your children, to stay in a toxic marriage where there is alcoholism. He wants you back bc he is running out of options and bc he knows u will be there bc as horrible as it sounds you are the only option left and one he knows. I say this bc i was in the same exact spot. My ex an alcoholic messing around w young women bc he had money now tht he has nowhere to drop dead wants me back and loves me and bla bla bla… we used to co parent our son and lived in the same house. That was the worst mistake i ever made. The toxicity the manipulation walking on eggshells…. LEAVE! Or you will be miserable w an std and very traumatized kids thinking tht forgiving infidelity and putting up w alcoholism is a way of life instead of a toxic narcissistic reality…. He made his bed let him lay on it, you sleep somewhere else but far from him.
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He didn’t care about you or your feelings when he was with other women, so why should you care about his feelings? He’s only this way because he was caught and now he can’t have his cake and eat it too.
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Too bad he wasn’t that upset all those times he cheated while married to you. Don’t let him gas light you into staying. He made a conscious choice for a decade without any thought or consideration to your feelings. You need to do what’s best for you and the kids.
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I would refuse to discuss it with him at all.
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Don’t take him
Back….he will never change.
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Think you’ve suffered enough continue with the divorce and have a happy life you deserve it x
Only you can decide to go due to emotional manipulate. Let me make this clear he does not love you but a domestic violence perpetrator will go to great lengths to retain possession and control of his victim. . Every tear is a little chip away at what little self esteem you may have left
The destruction of your self worth set you up to feel you need to worry about him above yourself. You are a domestic violence victim. Dv doesn’t require hitting. Seek resources and support before you live the rest of your life as someone’s property not an actual person.
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Does anyone feel responsible for their actions at all these days???
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Please don’t take him back. I know easier said then done but I have been torched for year with same thing but convinced I’m crazy nothing. Please run and never listen to it
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Nope, nope and not a chance.
Hopefully you’ll be divorced soon.
It’s time to choose you.
This is a man that loves the convince of you.
You and your kids deserve better
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He’s begging you back but “staying out” pshh boy bye!! 
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once a cheat always a cheat
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AWWWWW he doesn’t like his own karma? Tell him to pack his shit and go live with his floozy girlfriend.
He cheated for 10 years? Take him back? Hell no! He’d be holding his breath for a long time waiting.
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Oh the poor baby! He cant have a wife and his girlfriends too! Can’t expect the girlfriends to clean his house and look after his kids. He’s probably crying about having to give you some of his money and him having to move than anything else.
Question…why do you think you are worth less than him? Because your not you know. Put yourself first like he has been doing for the last 10 years and don’t waste anymore of your life on him.
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If you take him back you only have yourself to blame thereafter
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I’m sorry this is so difficult
I remember seeing your last post
But 
for being this strong and knowing your worth and not letting his infidelity continue unpunished. Hopefully you will be divorced soon
Prayers and luv hun 
you got this . I’m sorry you going through this .
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Whatever you do, don’t get pregnant!!
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It is years and years of his own actions that have resulted in making him this miserable, not yours! No your worth 
he’s made his bed…
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10 years oh no! Cry me a river, find someone who respects you. Once a cheater always a cheater.
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Leave him. He’s no good for you or your children. He doesn’t care about you. His actions speak volumes.
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This shouldn’t even be a question 
wake the hell up
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He seems to be afraid of being alone. It’s a learning curve but you can surely get use to it.
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One woman won’t satisfy this man’s needs… Time to move on
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If he go back he’ll continue to cheat. He’s been doing it for 10 years. Ask yourself: does he love me or am I a habit?
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This is a toxic, if not abusive, situation. Start attending Al-Anon meetings immediately. They’re for friends and family of alcoholics. Depending on your kids’ ages, they can attend AlaTeen. There are tons of virtual meetings at all hours of every day. There are almost certainly in-person meetings in your community also.
You’re living with a cheating addict. This is your children’s male role model. This is emotionally abusive. If something doesn’t change soon, they will either become the man your husband is or find significant others like him.
Begging and groveling are part of the addiction process. If he threatens self-harm if you don’t throw him out, that’s flat out abuse.
If you can, see a chemical dependency counselor ASAP. Your whole family is in crisis.
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He’s literally gas lighting you. He wants to act like he cares now but didn’t in the marriage! It’s not your fault he’s acting the way he is now. That’s his problem. Get out and and find your happiness
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You need to continue with the divorce & do what you can to get out of the shared home
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Sounds like he is just trying to manipulate you back into that toxic marriage. He has been able to step out the whole marriage and he is upset you won’t be his doormat anymore. Let him go, no looking back.
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Know that taking him back is the WORST example you could set for your children!
THEIR welfare MUST come before your fear and bleeding heart. Document his cheating, ALL his absences from the home, and his drinking. Get custody of the children, and then get permission from the court to move them closer to where you have the support of family or friends.
You CAN do this, and although you can’t imagine it now, your life really will be much better once he is nothing but a child support check you receive each month.
You and your kids deserve so much more.
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So what’s he doing when he is staying out? I definitely wouldn’t take him back.
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Aside from the cheating (I know, it’s a big aside, humor me for a moment) has he been a good husband, father, provider? Has he met your needs emotionally, physically? Can you financially afford to let him go? Do you even want to or do you feel pressured to, like you have to because family and friends think you should but really, you don’t want to.
There’s too many factors at play here for one answer. It’s not all painted with one broad brush. Do what you think is best for you, your children and your future. Good luck. Hope you are happy when this evolves into whatever it’s going to be 
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Let me tell you from experience, my mother went through the exact same thing, she took him back cause he was threatening suicide, nothing changed and he put himself in the hospital for 2 months nearly killing himself drinking. He wont change even if you take him back. If he wants to prove himself and change his ways he needs to do it before you get back together not after. Personally I wouldn’t give him another chance though after cheating so much.
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He is using you. Full stop.
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Nope. Don’t feel sorry for him.
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Don’t let him suck you back in. He cheated for a whole year and didn’t feel sorry. He could have told you he wasn’t happy. He could have told you he felt some type of way or that needs weren’t being met or whatever the case may be. He didn’t have to go out with another woman. And he had every opportunity to tell you. You don’t need that.
He thought the grass was greener on the other side of the fence…grass turns brown in the winter and wood routes…all fun and games until she doesn’t want him anymore either…tell him to go back to her…cause he can cry me river…I’d be over it…and he needs to move out.
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Move back near your family and get divorced
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No don’t go back there… I’m going through this after 35 years together… We split march … Cheating isn’t right… Keep strong girl keep busy. Its hard but it will get better… You can do this… I never thought I’d be this strong but I am. X keep strong love
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Kick him out or get your own place and keep divorcing him he will always cheat
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10 yrs!Tell him he is a Adult, put on his big boy panties and move on with your life
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So, my opinion based solely on the info you provided and my own experiences is that there is no easy yes or no answer. Only you can decide if it’s worth saving. However, getting back together would require changes including possibly therapy…individual, couple, and family. If you just go back and accept the behavior you are kind of cheating yourself too. If you decide to stay split, you have to figure out a way to live separately somehow, and I get how hard that is financially. You are not responsible for how he chooses to deal with things. You can’t stay because you feel sorry for him or responsible, and that’s hard when you are under the same roof. You really need some true distance to figure out what you truly want, and to be able to really evaluate your relationship. I wish you all the best. Its so easy to stay stuck in a detrimental relationship because of finances, etc. When I was unhappy in my relationship I would tell people it’s like The Bare Naked Ladies said. " I could leave, but I’ll stay. All my stuff’s here anyway." If you decide it’s unfixable and his actions are unforgivable then your life may be turned upside down for a while, but it could also be the best thing that happened to you in the long run…
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I’m a single Mum, have started my own business and studying. You can afford your own place. Obviously you don’t love yourself and think you deserve this moron, otherwise why is he still in your life? Yuck.
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10 years? That’s a lifestyle. He’s just playing with you emotions. Don’t fall for it please.
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Am sorry I wouldn’t take him back because he has had a girlfriend for 1 year while he was married to you am sorry he chose to act single and for that he should be single and get a divorce.
You can do this and you can be a single parent you are a strong mama. Good luck
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Talking from personal experience I went thru this with my ex him crying at me everyday I took him back and he didn’t change he had no intention it’s manipulation so you feel sorry for him and tske him back but once you do he will continue to do it cause he knows you will always come back and give another chance men like that don’t change, he had a choice when he vheated he could.of tgiurggt about you and not gone thru with it but he didn’t he chose to cheat knowing how much it would hurt you xx
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You’re on here asking because you know what’s right! You just want validation!! Honey, you know what to do! And it’s ok and everything happens for a reason and everything will work out!
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You would be a mug to go back.
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A man will only change for one woman. I say apply for a low income place. Kids don’t need that environment where no one is happy so choose yourself and happiness and the kids will appreciate a happy mom.
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I’d oersonally hand him the bottle of whatever it is he wants to drink and tell him to go for it…cheating on you for 10 years…a year long relationship and he claims to want you back. Find some self respect and dump that sorry ass and never look back x
Nope. Do not give in. He didn’t care when he was doing it to you. He’s only sorry now that he got caught. If you give in, you cement to him that he can do such awful things and you will stay.
Drinking himself to death is on him. It’s a manipulation tactic.
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There are 2 things that really concern me 1. His cheating an on going thing for this long and stopping. Even after he knew that you found out.
2. His drinking that also worry me alot for you and anyone around him namely if he drives.
We are not in your shoes so only you can decided what’s best for you both emotionally and financially. But your still living together there has to be firm ground rules in place. I feel you know in your heart what you need to do. Now its a matter of the paper work & $$ to do it.
He has been cheating on & off for this long I do not see that changing long term.
Best of luck to you what ever you decide to do.
I agree let him go once a cheater they dont usually change I know the children matter to both of you but kids grow up and leave home they can visit you dont need to worry rest of your life if he is cheating or not not fair to you or wouldnt be for a happy marriage go separate ways you may even be friends in the end find good trusting man when you and the children are ready or sometimes the good one is close by and you never know it
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You deserve better. Move forward with your divorce and do not have any type of relationship with him besides coparenting. He will always cheat no matter how many false promises he gives you.
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Proceed with the divorce! You’ll thank me later!
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Do not take him back, carry on with the divorce:raised_hands: stay strong mama:pray:
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Change your phone number…
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The more you allow him to do it he will do it, if you take him back he will do it again because you allowed it the first time and he will expect you to allow it again. He was not thinking of you and your children while he was with this other woman, once you could of put it down to a very big mistake on his behalf and that pushing it but a year, it’s disrespectful, degrading and disgusting. You stay strong and move forward in whichever choices you make cause let’s face it this is your life no one else’s but if you do take him back think the king that would treat you like his queen may pass you by and in another 10 years you could be in the same situation. Hope you and your children go in to have a very happy and healthy life 
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Just narcissistic behaviour. He had 10 years to do the right thing but didn’t.
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Absolutely fkn not, have some self respect for yourself, you’re worth a million more than him. He only wants back as he prob has no where else to go. You take him back and he will know he can do it again.did he care about you all that time he was doing what he was doing …NO he didn’t, move on you can do it on your own us women are strong as hell ,his the weak one. Let him find another victim ,it’s not your problem you’re better than him.his just a narcissistic piece of shit that will be that way till the day he dies. Been there trust me life is so much better once you let them go and move on x let him drink himself to death,sorry not sorry.amd also don’t let him manipulate you by pulling on any heart strings it’s all bull.
Continue with your divorce
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He is only begging for you to take him back because she’s kicked him to the curb. Shes realized…If he can do it with you, he can do it to you.
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He is crying over having to pay most likely for child support
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You are not responsible for his emotional well-being. He made his decision and it wasn’t you or the family. He’s crying over the girlfriend leaving him - not you. Continue with the divorce while taking time for yourself. Get out into the community and form new connections. He can step-up to his parenting duties while you begin taking time for yourself. Please separate yourself emotionally from this person - he doesn’t deserve your support through this time.
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What I have learned in life is: what u allow will always continue
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You teach them how to treat you. Learned this the hard way.
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Are u saying he has a girlfriend right now?? That right there tells u that he doesn’t care lol he just wants to manipulate u. Girl he is begging u back while he is still cheating on u 
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He’s only upset that he got caught
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YOU CONTINUE WITH THE DIVORCE, HES TRYING TO MANIPULATE YOU WITH EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL, DONT BE HIS SAFTY NET, HE DONT DESERVE YOU, hope you find yourself happiness in the future x
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Dude, 100% leave. And not just leave move on.
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Karmas getting him. Follow thru with divorce!!! He made his bed, now he can wallow in his own self pity!!!
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Once a cheat always a cheat !!!
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If he has a girlfriend right now and basically has had one the entire time you have been married to him then he will not change. He clearly has no respect for you or the vows you took so I would say NAFF off mate. You deserve to be treated better than that.
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What’s you’re dealing with is called a narcissist 

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He is most definitely using emotional abuse to manipulate you. Even if he says I’m going to kill myself, don’t believe him and even if he does kill himself or drink himself to death that is his choice. It has nothing to do with you, it’s about the turmoil inside of him. He needs therapy and most effectively he needs Jesus.
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You really need to keep going with the divorce. He’s still only thinking of himself. He is a narcissist . I had to live with mine before we got divorced too. The court told him he could. It was terrible. But believe me the day of court his as was out of there.
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