It’s not up to her to make the break. It’s his responsibility
Tell him it’s either stop or you are gone. He should respect his wife enough to not allow another woman to interfere with his marriage.
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do you have to ask?? you already know the answer
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Simple answer…leave
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if this is how you are willing to live then stay. if not then make plans to change your life.
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A toxic household is worse for children than a one parent household. If it’s not toxic now, it will be if he continues this behavior. Ask him where your marriage stands. Does he still love you? His children? Being a parent means putting your children and their needs first, and they don’t deserve to be in a toxic household. Your next decision is predicated on his answer. I would make it clear he cannot be with me and her at the same time. Even if you still share the same roof, you don’t have to share the same bedroom.
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Just because you love someone and want things to work doesn’t mean he will want the same. From the sounds of it he’s left you. Hard to swallow but let him go. Why ask someone to stop something he knows he shouldn’t be doing. Fuck him, throw his ass out!!!
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Make him leave or you leave take some time apart an see where that leads. Focus on yourself and see where you guys end up .
Two people have to want to be in a marriage.
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Take the children to visit gramas for the day, come home punch him in the face and stomp on his head. Burn all his clothing, smash up his game console and all the games and burn those too. Smash and burn anything and everything he owns and kick him to the curve. Guarentee you will feel so much better about yourself afterwards. Change the locks on the house and tell him to eff off lol
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Sounds like you need to move on girl.
First time you know of you’re better leaving him with his ex since he thinks he has it better with her obviously he’s done so why hold on
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He is an adult that is choosing to behave this way. He cannot be forced to behave differently. He obviously cares little about you or your feelings. You can accept that or walk away.
I know its scary, but leave. You deserve someone who will respect you. There ARE guys out there who would never do that or stop when asked. Hes already gone.
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Time for him to go x
You wanna keep a lying cheater? Why?
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Contact her. Talk to the ex. What would it hurt? If she doesn’t know the whole story then tell her! Get her on your side! If you REALLY want to save your marriage, go to the source. If he wants someone more than you, nothing in the world will stop him. But you might be able to squash at least this one. 
Everything WILL work out for the best. It always does.
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If he keeps doing that he’s not worth keeping let him know that you deserve better then that
Honestly, like a few have said. Even if she knows, that doesn’t mean she will leave him alone, also sounds like he is allowing this behavior. She wouldn’t be there if he didn’t allow it. Maybe have an honest conversation about it with him and how it makes you feel. If necessary step back from the relationship to reevaluate the marriage and make your decision then.
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In our head, we know we don’t deserve to live like this! Just get your heart to believe it, too!! You’ll find happiness!!
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Burn his shit and leave! your only hurting yourself and your kids if you stay with him. That’s not fair to the family that he gets to do whatever the hell he wants. You always go with your gut instinct it’s never wrong! Trust me I’ve been in a similar boat it never works. I know it’s easier said then done but you will feel better to clear the air. If he doesn’t respect you enough to stop talking to his ex he’s not worth it. Trust me hun your better off❤
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Ugh, I feel for you so much. Unfortunately this is probably not going to stop. Really. And their were possibly more that you were not aware of. Neither will stop and I’m sure he’s lying. If it does end it’s more likely she’d end it. But eventually their probably would be more. My heart hurts for you,truly. I’ve been in similar situations. You definitely deserve better. I’m curious to your ages. If you tell the ex,she won’t believe you. Walk away if you have the heart.
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I went through the same thing when my son wasn’t even one and I should have left then. It’s my biggest regret, we divorced after 5 years and he never does see our son.
Do u have her number maybe u need to text her your self and let her know u all still together and to leave him alone
I mean the obvious answer is to leave, he’s a POS if you asked him to stop and he didn’t, but I’d tect her myself and let het know who you arr what your relationship to each other is then she has the knowledge and can either decide to continue or stop but either way he knows better so he needs to stop or you need to go stop making excuses for why you don’t want to leave love doesn’t fix everything he has to make that decision
He’s cheating on you. It’s hard, but his actions are showing that he doesn’t want to work it out. I’m so sorry this happened to you. if he’s comfortable being with you and talking to his ex, regardless of your feelings and opposition to it, you deserve better. He’s not going to stop because he doesn’t want to.
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Go with your gut feeling
You are begging him to change his behavior and he refuses… that is clear DISRESPECT!! You KNOW he is CHEATING on you, why stay with him!!! As for the kiddos, it is better for them to see their Mom strong on her own, vs. forever upset/worried, used & disrespected!! (I know the idea if being a single Mom sucks, but your husband is toxic. Neither you or your kids need that!!)
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Cheating is cheating. He knows what he is doing and he is taking you for granted. You can talk, beg and throw absolute fits but he is toning you out. Just don’t threaten take action. SHE is not the problem. HE is by accepting her call or calling her. You need to silently separate from him and pack up and move forward for you and look for happiness. If he comes looking for you be strong and set the ground rules. If you’ve moved on then he is the the loser in the relationship. You are not second you should always be first. Good luck to you. Be strong.
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He refuses to stop talking to her and he refuses counseling. Sounds like he’s done. You need to move on and move out.
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Love yourself and your kids more than him. Leave. He sees no wrong doing on his part so he won’t stop.
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Emotional affairs are far worse in my opinion than physical ones.
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First, im sorry you are going through this. It is hard on you emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. No person likes to be cheated on and worst while their partner knows that you know and still acts oblivious and in denial of any wrong doing. He is disrespecting you by talking to her and your request to stop and disrespecting your relationship and yes even your kids. And like much have said above it takes two to want to make it work. Honestly, if he wants to cheat, he can leave. If you can document any acts or conversations of adultery may help your case if you do decide to not be with him anymore. It is unfair to you and the kids to be in an unhappy relationship with a partner who does not show his love or respect appropriately; it is unhealthy.
Recommend talking and asking him what he wants from the relationship and his needs and if he can see that with you, and if he wants to work on himself and your relationship. If he is not on the same page or ( hard to admit or accept) nor wants to be in the relationship, personally, i would say goodbye. Life is too short to be unhappy and stay in a relationship that makes me miserable and influences my children’s perepective in a negative manner of what marriage or love or a relationship should look like and how one is to treat the ones they love.
Honestly, Id leave. 
And I’d also take it upon myself to contact her & fill her in too, if she doesn’t already know.
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I’d contact the women. Say she is interfering with your marriage. Please stop all contact. And find out her intentions? Have u read the messages? Are they inappropriate? Whats the purpose of them reuniting? Regardless it’s not ok for them to be speaking especially if there is problems in the marriage! From experience I’d send him to the couch or ask him to leave and figure out what he wants!
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You said you still love him and believe if she was out of the picture, it would help? Confront her. Let her know she is trying to destroy your marriage. She is trying to take your childrens Dad away from them. Let her know you plan to fight for him. That he will pay dearly if he would leave you and your children for her. That you will not allow him to see his children as long as he is with her. That you will make her life a living Hell. If she doesn’t move on, let him know he has two choices, his entire family or his ex. If he chooses his ex,he isn’t worthy of you!! Make him leave, but make sure he pays dearly!!
LEAVE NOW! Even if he does stop talking to her, he will eventually do it again. Do yourself a favor and find somebody who wants to be with only you.
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It’s sad to say but it looks like he’s made his choice already. If you have requested time and time again that he stop contacting her while explaining to him that it hurts you and your marriage and he still chooses to call and text then… I’d say he made his choice. I’m sorry. I know how much that hurts. I wish you the best regardless of how this plays out.
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I’d Call her and break that up, then head down to the county court and file for divorce and child support, and lastly pack up and leave when he’s not at home. It’s hard but it’s doable, many have done it and so can you.
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Why are you still messing with this man? Kick him out.
Girl do not EVER ask a man to stop talking to another woman
He dont belong to you or respect you. LEAVE HIM
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Get proof and talk to a lawyer
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Way lower yourself to that standard if you askchim to stop talking to her and he still continues then that shows you where he stands in the relationship. If one your kid where dealing with the same situation you tell them to leave. I know you don’t want a broken family but sometimes for the best. Just cause she stop talking to him doesn’t mean he won’t A just leave or B go find someone else. If he talking to her behind your back then it show that he done with the relationship and doesn’t care. You should Do the same. Don’t lower yourself or give him the power to let him treat you like that. The problems won’t stop just cause they may stop talking. In the end it’s up to you but I’m sure your deserve someone that going to treat you a lot better. I think this your sign to leave before it gets worst. You guys can still co-parent and make the kids in healthy happy situation at the end of the day it’s up to you I wish you the best
Who is to say they don’t see eachother when you aren’t around? NEVER accept a man’s behavior like that. If he isnt willing to do therapy or respect you by not talking to her which idk what prompted him to talk to her in the first place but if you guys can’t work on your relationship then he isnt willing to change for you. He wants what she is offering because the grass seems greener on the other side for him. Leave, take your pride, respect and your kids and give yourself more then what you are getting!! Do not reach out to him either.
Sounds like there are more issues going on that could be fixed by the woman leaving him alone 💁 work on yourself first why you waiting for him or her to sort it out
I agree with what everyone one else is saying about leaving because he did make his choice.
Off topic I think it would be nice to hear some of the guys opinions just to see what they think on the subject and what it usually means on their side if they refuse to stop (not like we dont right… idk I just like to see what they think also.)
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Be there once a cheater always a cheater
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It’s very easy for us to tell you to just leave when you are in love with the person and want things to work out between you all. But if a man goes to another woman and confides in her you should put a stop to it. If he loves you and wants to be with you he should not be talking to her. You can’t force someone stop doing something the really want to do. But don’t put yourself down about it. Maybe go on a little vacation take the kids with you and really think about if you want to be with a man that doesn’t see his wrong in talking to an ex. He he should put his self in your shoes. I wouldn’t contact the woman, as it is not her fault that your man is in contact with her. Your partner should not have let it get this far.
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So you start talking to her. Become friends. Your answer will quickly present itself.
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Look at phone records, get her number and message her. I did this with my ex and he told me I was crazy and she had nothing to do with our relationship. He obviously was picking her with that statement. We were done. I didnt want to share my kids with him and be apart but I couldn’t make him be loyal and want only me. It was over.
Time to set a hard boundary. “I don’t feel comfortable with you talking to your ex. Either you stop and we get some counseling, or you need to move out.”
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It’s an addiction, my soon to be ex husband has done it to me an my kids 4 times that I know of and I contacted each woman, only one was sorry for getting in the middle of our marriage and of course he told each one of our problems and plans for divorce…this was over the course of 17 out of 20 years of our marriage he did this…I am finally moving on…good luck
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First of all I am so sorry this is happening to you. This is a very painful process to go through, the death of your future and family as you know it.
Unfortunately, if this woman is doing this with your husband she doesn’t care about anything you are going to say and if he is doing this to you, he just doesn’t care about your feelings or in any way respects you or his children.
You can keep trying, it may work out for you. I have seen people overcome but hell, the situation sucks. One thing that I have noticed is if it does work out it’s because people have not kept secrets. You need to go viral with this to his family and loved one’s he respects. They can knock some sense into him??
I’m sorry but she is who he is in love with!! Get out!! Good luck
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You set the stage for him to disrespect you, by not leaving the moment you found out and made him aware you knew. Now he thinks he can do whatever he wants, and your not going to leave. I call men like this Chad’s. Your Chad will not stop… He will drain you, until you no longer love yourself and your stuck with him. Get his phone… Screenshot any and all evidence of him cheating… Send it to yourself and file for divorce with all of your evidence. When you converse with him about cheating record it, if it’s admissable in court use it. Look up your state laws on recording him as evidence. Once you have filed, if he still loves you even a little bit… He will beg you to not divorce. That’s when you give him the ultimatum that he stops his behavior, and goes to counseling with you, and make him take you on a date once a week to build your bond again. Maybe he feels like your identity as a couple is gone, because the kids are taking up a majority of your time. If he won’t do those three things… Follow through with the divorce and make him sign. But most of all… BE HAPPY! Don’t let anyone, not even your husband steal that from you.
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I’m so sorry that this has happened to you. I know the pain is so very real and deep. But if he can’t respect you enough to not be talking to any female in that type of way then I say let his ex have him and move on it’s hard and it hurts and it’s out of your comfort zone but it’s for the better. May God bless you!
Mama always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate…LEAVE HIM!!! You are afraid to leave bc you are used to your routine. Leave him and learn an entirely different routine. One that lets you live without fear and stress. You deserve a happy life. If a man has to have two women, he doesn’t love you. He loves the other woman, otherwise you would’ve forever been enough. LEAVE HIM!!!
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My ex did this, only I didn’t know until the day he walked out and then found out he had a child with her, GET OUT NOW!
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Leave 
i have two ex boyfriends i talk to BUT there boundries. I always make sure my husband is okay with me speaking to them so i don’t cross any type of line. He does the exact same thing with me. Ive left men for less and honestly hes not going to stop if youve already begged this far. Kick his ass out and tell him he can go somewhere else if hes gonna playing dumb games
I would get my finances in order or make sure you have a safe home for you and your kids just in case. I would contact the ex girlfriend and tell her that you are still living as a married couple and you love your husband and plan on fighting for your marriage. I would then tell him that you talked to her. It may work or he may be done but at least you know you did all you could.
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It all starts at home what does he need that he’s not getting there
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Does he hide his phone from you ?
Been there. I stayed and my advice is if you stay get lots of therapy. Seriously, I still think about it everyday, no matter how good things are and I doubt I’ll ever really trust him again.
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Based off of experience a toxic household is more damaging to a child than separating. I get that you love him but he does not love you. If he loved you, he would’ve stopped the first time you asked. Kick that man to the curb. 
🙅
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She doesn’t owe you loyalty, he does. She doesn’t owe you honesty, he does. She’s not in a relationship with you, he is. Therefore, stop focusing on her and focus on the fact that you’ve asked him and he’s refused. That speaks volumes.
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Pack up the kids and leave and say that when he decides he wants to talk and decide whether to get a divorce or therapy you dont talk to him.
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He loves that you are obsessing over this. Don’t.
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Here’s the thing. Its kind of common knowledge that cheating hurts. He knows what he’s doing, he knows how you feel, he knows what he’s putting on the line by talking to her. He should’ve had enough common sense to not do it in the first place. Then he hid it and now he’s refusing to stop. Also, guarantee the girl doesn’t care that you are in his life, and it really doesn’t matter - it’s not HER fault. This is 100000% his fault. He’s not willing to stop, or put in the work to fix things, the only thing you should be doing is walking away. sending you all my love and support and best wishes. You deserve better than this.
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I would leave mine was on tinder and sleeping with staff members while working away apparently this was happening for 3 years and I never knew. My kids love the life now not miserable but mind you was a lot of dv involved to but we so much better now.
Leave him. There are faithful men out there who would adore you and the kids.
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Don’t waste your time on some one who won’t waste there time on you
If he won’t seek marriage counseling and has defended his actions then he’s pretty much made your decision for you. It’s going to suck for a little while but you DESERVE full commitment for you. Do not settle with his decision for his convenience. Prayers! I’m so sorry you are going through this.
If she thinks that you guys are split, hes the one who probably told her that
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Maybe it’s time to reach out to the ex, if she’s under the impression y’all aren’t together anymore. Then both of you go confront his ass.
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I’d tell her but also tbh if it were me I’d be telling my husband I’m done if he’s not going to go to therapy or at least do something to fix the relationship
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If he wanted to work on your marriage he wouldn’t be lying about being single. I wouldn’t fight for someone who doesn’t want me. He leave him for the trash and pick yourself up because you are a damn queen who deserves to be treated as such.
If he was willing to go therapy I might feel differently
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You can tell her but she may not care. Sounds like your trying to fight for someone who doesn’t want you anymore. Which is extremely awful but don’t lower your self worth bcuz of someone like that. I know it’s easier said than done. Praying for you.
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Girl RUN! and leave him and his ex to have each other 
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shes well aware of you and she dont care. Homewreckers often don’t give af. Shes getting what she wants. If he won’t stop texting her for the sake of your relationship then it is already over. He’s not gonna stop and if they are talking behind your back or in this case in front of you. I promise he’s deleted the messages where they were going to meet. Use this as an opportunity to move on with you and your kids.
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Bye boy👋 find a real man!
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Well call her!!!
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I’ve been married 10 years and I’d have no problem with him speaking to an ex girlfriend. No where in this post does it say he has cheated on her. Has he told this ex girlfriend they are separated ( it doesn’t say he has, it says she thinks this ex thinks they are separated). If there’s problems in the marriage and jealousy call it quits separated happy parents are better than a home with both parents who aren’t happy.
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I’d get her number and call her from your phone ask whats been going on…
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Girl, you deserve better. Leave him. He won’t to therapy or stop texting his ex. There are too many good guys to put up with the possibility of infidelity.
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If he doesn’t respect you enough to stop, tell him to leave. HE needs to show he wants to fix things. I’m sorry, but I hope you don’t waste one more day with him. 
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That is still an affair whether emotionally or sexually! Give him an ultimatum. Stop or we’re done!
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Time to pack his bags and stay w his ex girlfriend.
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He’s not gone yet, but a foot out the door. He’s basically telling you he’s done. Take the time and get your affairs in order so you aren’t left scrambling trying to figure out how to do it alone.
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He’s not interested in fixing the marriage if he’s talking to her, kick him out
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If he doesn’t respect you enough to stop talking to her when you had requested of him then he just doesn’t care and wants to do him. It’s got to be him that is honest with both of you and cuts communication with the ex. It’s his actions that he needs to fix. Counseling would help a lot but he’s got to be willing to meet you half way. Good luck
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He knows he’s wrong and doesn’t care. Sounds like he checked out of your relationship a long time ago. Act accordingly.
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I’m sorry but if he isn’t wanting to get help for both of you then it’s time to move on. Marriage , not married doesn’t matter if you love some one you don’t do that. It doesn’t even matter now how long you to have been together if he doesn’t want to work it out then that’s it.Depending also on the situation with the ex she could of been a long time friend before then they got back in touch. Sometimes you need to trust but if there focussing more On the ex and texting then that is a problem
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FIRST off you can’t make a person do anything or stop doing something they don’t want to do. Accept and own this and 1/4 of you problem is sloved.
Second. You Love him and therefore are not ready to give him up. So suck it up. When you have had enough, you will do what you have to do.
Third. What she belives is what he has told her, and she chooses to belive.
You can’t control a situation that is already out of your control. If you have asked him to STOP and he hasn’t it is because he does not RESPECT you, your children, or your home.
God bless you. Stand strong.
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I would kick him out and contact the ex girlfriend. If she has any morals she would want to know the truth and wouldn’t want anything to do with him either. I would want to know.
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1 if they don’t have kids they have no reason to talk At all
2 you shouldn’t put up with it either you and your kids deserve
better
Tht fact he doesn’t see your feelings are being hurt or your trying to reach out for help with therphy
Says you need to just go
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Contacting her and asking her to “leave him alone” isnt going to fix the problem. The problem is your husband, plain and simple. If it isn’t her, it would be someone else. He doesn’t have respect for you or your marriage.
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As someone who has been there, I am going to tell you… It doesn’t stop. He might stop talking to her but there will be another ex eventually. The only thing that keeps a man is one who wants to be kept. Don’t waste years of your life like I did.
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Then you call guy find them at work or dating site
Pack his stuff he made his choice no man should allow another woman to cause disruption in the home or marriage stop asking him show him business
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Call her and any other contact, fill them in,get the deetz,meet up for coffee with all of them together and leave him all at the same hour with timestamps exchanged in a groupchat 7:01 mary 7:02 susan 7:03 elizibeth and so on. it adds insult to injury .then post up a photo together on fb from the get together or in a dolled up group selfie with drinks in a toast to being on the hunt again💃 Sometimes you gotta throw the whole man out its fine tho
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I wish I knew how to be helpful with this. But my first husband did this in secret with his ex girlfriend and she ended up pregnant and we needed up divorcing after 10 years of marriage. The issue is that you cannot control a other person or make them as committed as you are. You can fight the situation but unless he wants to fight for your marriage as well, there isn’t much you can do. We had two small children and I adored him. He just had gotten bored I guess and we weren’t the “fire and excitement”. He felt like was supposed to be a permanent in our relationship. I was willing to do anything it took to save our marriage and family. For my situation, it wasn’t enough. The issue is that you cannot control a other person or make them as committed as you are.
I’m remarried now and I believe we are both doing alright. All this being said, It’s going to take firm kindness and an extremely difficult and honest conversation on BOTH of your parts to see where you are and if this can be salvaged.
It is NOT YOUR FAULT if it can’t. Read that again.
I pray that you get the outcome that
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