I’ve been married to my husband for almost five years. Ever since we got married, he has a problem with self-hygiene. Every time I say something about it, he gets mad and blows up. He won’t brush his teeth, and I have to ask him multiple times just to shower. I feel no sexual attraction towards him at all because of it. I’m lost right now. Ladies, please give me some kind of advice.
Is there any triggers? Like maybe depression or addiction? Maybe not drug or alcohol but phone or or tv or video games? Either way therapy may help if he is willing. The reason I say this is my significant other is badly addicted to his phone and will forget to bath etc.
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This sounds like me 10 + years ago. I was married to a man that didn’t take care of himself. When I would mention he should brush his teeth or wash himself, he would go off on me and then get depressed. He would eventually do it but was upset the whole time. We did try counseling but in the end we did divorce. We also did not have children. He was a mentally ill man that did not display until after we got married. He went to so many doctors and therapists for his mental illness. I’m sorry you are going through this. Have you consider therapy for you and him? I wish you well!
I’m sorry to hear this too 
it must’ve been hard for you with everything already going on. Maybe have a talk with him first and see if he’s okay. Check-in from a place of concern and care. Maybe there’s an underlying issue that led to this. If therapy is needed, ask if he’s comfortable with it.
Omg I’m exactly the same, there is no way I could be sexually attracted to someone who was unclean. And to be completely blunt about things… I would tell him exactly that that’s the case for you and then if nothing changes…. See ya! That’s a deal breaker for me.
I dated my ex for five years he was the way and it was repulsing. I left him, he then kept telling me after how he changed and how he was using better hygiene 
I was like good for you but you should have done that all along. Tell him how you feel exactly! How your losing your attraction to him and ask how he would like it if the roles where reversed.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband has horrible hygiene: What should I do? - Mamas Uncut
Sounds like life with my EX… Ewe.
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Did you know this before you married him?
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Sounds like depression?!
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Umm what? Was he like that before you married or just started after!?
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Somethings gotta give. I’d never be able to exist that way
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That’s a deal breaker for me personally. I wouldn’t have dated or married him…maybe suggest showering together and make it a spontaneous time?
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It is probably on going depression coupled with very Lowe self worth/esteem. Tread lightly.
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Have you asked him why he doesn’t do those things. Maybe he’s depressed. But you need to be clear that you are not interested in him intimately if he can’t keep himself clean and brush his teeth.
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I would stop having sex with him, and when he wants to know why… maybe he’ll then be ready for that conversation.
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That is hard to deal with. 
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WATER FIIIGGGHHHTTT WHILE BLOWING BUBBLES! he will never suspect it! Lol that’s tough though I hope it resolves. Maybe start inviting him to shower with you?
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Is he suffering from depression or other mental illness? What about a shower together?
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I would ask him if maybe there’s a reason behind it. Maybe depression, or he’s just so comfortable in his marriage that he doesn’t put much effort into himself anymore
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Whats his family’s hygiene
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WTF…how old is he??? 12…That would be a deal breaker for me…That’s crazy
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Maybe try to Invite him to shower with you. I got my boyfriend to shower with me every night when we get home from work and we talk about our day … It doesn’t have to be sexual every time to shower together. 
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My significant other doesn’t like brushing and guess what you couldn’t pay me to kiss him nor share drinking cups or eating utensils. That’s gross and no it’s not depression. His pathetic excuse well I should only brush when going out… (brush twice a day). Some people are just nasty
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Try showering with him, make it something he wants to do he washes you and you wash him.
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Maybe that’s how he grew up. Nobody taught him about self hygiene
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I had the same issue, it ended after 22 years in divorce. I tried everything!
When you have to start getting after your mate like one the kids you loose attraction because you have to mother them I remember saying once do you have sex with your mom cause when I have to mother you I can’t have realions with you
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Get “Professional Counciling”!!! "Signs of “DEPRESSION”!!! 
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Definitely ask him to shower with you. It builds intimacy, at least for us it does. It doesn’t have to be sexual either. Offer to help or just start washing his body/hair and have him do the same for you! Start brushing your teeth together too. Honestly just ask him if he’d like to join you in the bathroom
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Say not until you have showered/ brushed your teeth.
Alternatively, insist on couples (and eventually individual) therapy.
Also, it is summer.
Here is clean husband supplies:
-dirty car (the dirtier the better)
-bucket
-rags/ sponges
-bathing suits
-garden hose
-kids optional
-warm/hot day
-a day you both are available
-enough gumption to start either a sexy car wash competition on the car (requires participants to get soapy, which requires a rinse off) or a soap filled water fight.
Might sound juvenile, but it might work.
Good luck.
(Winter version of this is to get a dog and have HIM be the one to clean it.)
As for teeth cleaning, gum, mentos or longer lasting breath mints in a flavor you both like.
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Gift him a palet of gum and some dr squatch body stuff. The small is so long lasting. I got it for the father of my son and it’s make him excited to take showers
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Honestly it sounds like he has some depression going on. I’d try really hard not to approach it as criticism and more as inquiring or concerned.
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I feel this… Why do I have to tell a grown ass man to wash his hands after he takes a shit or to brush his teeth? Definitely need the advice here as well.
You need to have a long talk with this man. There’s honestly no nice way to talk about it. You have to just bring it up. Maybe he’s depressed because depression will do that.
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How about cooking him a nice meal, run him a bubble bath, candles and let him get in and relax? You can wash and groom him and let him have an early night
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Sounds like depression or another mental health illness. I would tread lightly on this be nice and go with him to a couples/sex therapist. Ask to take showers with him.
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Where is the spew emoji? That’s all I have to say 
I do apologise in advance but I must ask. How come that you married him in the first place? Do you have children with him? If not, then divorce. And if you do have children, definitely divorce, because he is a very bad example to your kids. A grown man who can’t take care of his own hygiene, needs a carer or a nanny, not a wife.
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He didn’t have that problem when you guy’s were dating?
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I asked him to brush his teeth with me something we did together it seems to work
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I don’t know how you’ve dealt with that the past 5 years !Are you close to his mother ? Could she talk to him ? Regardless , I would stop being intimate with him until he starts caring about his personal hygiene… that includes hugging and kissing… I couldn’t sit next to him without wanting to vomit. He may need to see a therapist.
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Hate to say it, but you should have realized that before you married him!!!
My ex was like this. Only showered every 10 days.
Drugs
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Maybe he is depressed
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Take him to the city dump
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I always just tell my bf when he stinks and go take a fkn shower 
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Well my husband showers and stuff but won’t brush his teeth I’m surrounded by funkie its crazy so my guess is take him outside get a hose with a nozzle an start spraying just quiet some body was and spray gurl and pray that helps good luck lol
1.)Get a bucket of soapy water (2 buckets just in case.) 2.) Throw it at him 3.) attack with soapy rag!! 4.) pin him down and grab the hose to wash him off! 5.) relax😎
Depression/anxiety/several other mental health issues could be the root of this. People don’t just stop doing these things, they stop caring about themselves to do them.
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My ex was stinking lazy. Still is. Nobody can get past his smell andof course he blames me lol. It’s a turn off people.
Kick him out of the car in the middle of a car wash. Then give him toothpaste for dinner ! He’ll get the hint! And if he doesn’t get divorced !
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Any mental health issues like depression?
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My kids dad was great with self hygiene when we first got together then after being together for a while he slowly stopped caring as much. After we were married I would literally have to force that man to shower and brush his teeth. Glad I’m not with him anymore felt more like having an extra kid then a husband
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He might have depression I would take him to see a dr
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Sounds like he just doesn’t care,my husband started acting like this and we found out he had dementia
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Sounds like mental health problems to me.
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I’m going with depression.
Had he always been that way?
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Get in the shower with him and wash his ass for him I’m kidding… but if he blows up every time you mention it or ask him too, it might be time to put in some action. You could try couples therapy, give him an ultimatum and follow through with it. You can’t help someone who doesn’t want it… if he wants you, he’ll get help and do what he needs do . 5 years of dealing with this with no improvement is ridiculous. You’re not his mom. He’s a grown man.
QuenLy Sabado advice daw…
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What’s his family like? Maybe alert his doctor to screen him for depression. Is he on the autism spectrum? What I had to do with a housemate was put on his calendar “change clothes” or “take shower.” When it was expressed as a habit every day alternating, he would manage it. He had Aspergers. Good luck!
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Was he like this before marriage?
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Man… .if, my husband did that BS, I would change the locks till his ass learns to come in and take a shower every damn day. I am not going to repeat myself because I tell my husband all the time I am not your mother so, don’t think I am going to be hollering like you my kid. Nasty bums sleep outside. I aint dealing with that and I don’t give a damn how mad he gets. That shit is gross. He should be ashamed of himself. Hell NAWW !!
I think you should leave him. No excuse for that behavior. If he wants to be a bum, he can do it by himself
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Guy’s a middin.put a bar of soap in a sock and beat the head off him with it.
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He needed are bush bath n flush out plus rub lime under arms
Shower together 
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I have a brother in law the same way he dosent brush his teeth what’s so ever and stinks as well but it’s all up to u ma
My husband has depression and gets this way so I’ll take a shower with him or give him a bath… I’d say show some extra support
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My husband was the same. Showered maybe twice a week and never used deodorant. Now we are getting divorced but not because of that
Why’d you marry him thinking he’d change. I’m sure he did this before the marriage
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Could be from depression
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Sounds like a mental illness. Maybe take him to the doctors and have him tested for depression and such
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Tell him his ass stinks and to get in the shower daily or you will contact the mental health people. Theres no reason not to wash your ass.
Bottom line that’s disrespectful no one wants too kiss bad moldy breath nor do they want to smell bo on there man. Its embarrasing too be in public if he’s going too smell and not care about how it effects you. That’s pretty narcassist too make you feel bad for requesting your husband too keep up on his hygiene. That’s a serious deal too me.
I’d imagine this didn’t start overnight so you probably shouldn’t have married him thinking he’d changing in the first place. That being said unless he’s depressed and needs help, it might be time for a divorce
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Extra support in case this is depression related and take a shower with him would be my suggestions 
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Huh put some toothpaste on a brush for him and tel him you don’t want his teeth to fall out. Run him a bath. Put some deodorant out with some soap for him.
Alot of times this is a sign of some mental illness going on as well.
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If he stinks, throw him out in the window instead
He could be depressed.
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Try talking to him about his mental health. keeping your emotional hygiene in check, works hand in hand with your personal hygiene. I’ve been there. Being so depressed you can’t even muster enough energy to think about your personal hygiene. It’s not a good place to be.
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He must have been that way all along,why did you marry him?
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Sounds like depression
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Could he be depressed?? Was her this way BEFORE you married him?? If not then get a divorce!!! No one would ever be attracted to filth!! You are NOT WRONG BY NO MEANS!!! STAY HEALTHY AT ANY COST🙏
He had to be like this before you married him, so how were you attracted to him in the first place? Maybe he’s depressed?? But if he gets so mad when approached by it, I don’t know what you can do… except maybe tell him you don’t want to be near him anymore. Sounds mean but he needs to take care of himself.
I mean, depression can cause problems with personal hygiene because it requires too much energy. If that makes no sense to anybody reading this, be grateful you’ve never experienced clinical depression. Does he have a history of depression? It’s been five years, has he always not showered and brushed his teeth? I don’t understand him just wanting to smell, so perhaps he is suffering from depression. Talk to him and see what is going on.
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Dawg I’m reading these comments and I’m trying to figure out where I’m the sam hell are y’all finding these dudes that ain’t showering everyday or brushing their teeth. When I tell you he would hit the door so fast he would take the paint off:joy:
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Sounds like my ex fiance. It was horrible to the point where I didn’t even want to have sex or kiss him. So he found someone who put up with it I guess.
Sounds like hes depressed severely
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Run him a bath with lots of smelly goods and tell him to soak and relax.
Treat him to a Spa day?
Take him outside n hose him down. Lol jk. Kudos to u for putting up with that for five years tho.
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Sometimes guys are just like that. Theyll shower and use deodorant and shave when they are single and once they meet up with a partner theyll let themselves go to shit because in their minds they now have someone who’s already accepted them for who they are.
Build him a pig pen outside 
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Tell him to start showering daily and wash that junk up,or take his stinkin ass somewhere else to live.
How is his mental health? Maybe he’s depressed? Or going through something.
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Deal breaker! He needs to go,until he can have enough respect for himself,he can’t have respect for anyone else
Throw something gross on him everyday so he has to shower haha. .
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If it’s depression ask him to take a shower with you! Depression really attacks your self esteem, makes you feel basically worthless. Offering to shower with him could make him feel wanted & needed.
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