What Can I Do About My Husband's Horrible Hygiene?


“I’ve been married to my husband for almost five years. Ever since we got married, he has a problem with self-hygiene. Every time I say something about it, he gets mad and blows up. He won’t brush his teeth, and I have to ask him multiple times just to shower. I feel no sexual attraction towards him at all because of it. I’m lost right now. Ladies, please give me some kind of advice.”

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“Have you asked him why he doesn’t do those things. Maybe he’s depressed. But you need to be clear that you are not interested in him intimately if he can’t keep himself clean and brush his teeth.”

“I agree with others that it could be a symptom of depression. I would try marriage counseling and then the counselor might recommend he get his own therapy.”

“Honestly it sounds like he has some depression going on. I’d try really hard not to approach it as criticism and more as inquiring or concerned.”

“What’s his family like? Maybe alert his doctor to screen him for depression. Is he on the autism spectrum? What I had to do with a housemate was put on his calendar “change clothes” or “take shower.” When it was expressed as a habit every day alternating, he would manage it. He had Aspergers. Good luck!”

“I would try to get him evaluated for some kind of mental health issues. Some people with certain mental health issues have issues with hygiene. So many different variables attached to it.”

“Definitely ask him to shower with you. It builds intimacy, at least for us it does. It doesn’t have to be sexual either. Offer to help or just start washing his body/hair and have him do the same for you! Start brushing your teeth together too. Honestly just ask him if he’d like to join you in the bathroom.”

“I would ask him if maybe there’s a reason behind it. Maybe depression, or he’s just so comfortable in his marriage that he doesn’t put much effort into himself anymore.”

“Get in the shower with him and wash him yourself. Ask him if he wants to wash your body after? Get a teeth whitening mouth wash to use after you brush your teeth and encourage him to use it with you so you can “see results together”.”

“I think something more is going on. He may be struggling with something you don’t know about.”

“Invite him into the shower with you wash him up… But that is the first sign of mental health issues. Also lack of bathing causes health issues. Instead of verbally attacking him talk to him asking why he does not want to shower help him understand how it is affecting you. My mon went through this with my dad he refused to shower for 6 months, she refused sex until he showered.”

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