Not to be cold, but not having a husband was WAY better than my sheets smelling like sweaty ass on his side of the bed🤣
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I’d tell him brush your teeth and take a shower if you want sex . Does he suffer from depression?
Shower sex!! Get clean and dirty!!
Sleep alone. Refuse sex and tell him why. If that doesn’t help it’s time to cut him loose. He doesn’t care about you or himself and it’s not going to change.
Is he depressed or using drugs? This is a big sign of that. I would come at him from a place of concern about his overall well being.
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Find you a man who has enough gumption to get off his funky ass and wash it…dump that nasty dude.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband has horrible hygiene: What should I do? - Mamas Uncut
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband has horrible hygiene: What should I do? - Mamas Uncut
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People may have different opinions in this, but personal hygiene is taught when children are very young. Most often if neglected, they will grow up to be like this. Talk to him when he is in a good mood and relaxed. Say that it bothers you so much that you may develop a distance between you two as a result. Obviously when you were dating he may have been better in taking care of his personal hygiene. It’s best to discuss these things without getting into arguments.
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I’d get him into therapy and in to see a psych. I bet he’s harboring something or he’s depressed.
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He could be depression, but if he was like that when you were together and they said love is blind. He get help maybe he will change if not give his walking papers. Good luck.
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My son is like that and it is seriously affecting his health. I have tried everything to get him to clean up his act. Many here mention depression and I agree. But he is 45 and I can’t make him get help. He has sores all over his body and spent a week in the hospital just last week. But he refuses to clean up and I foresee a long painful death from infection if he doesn’t. Legally he has the right to refuse treatment.
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So I assuming he was like this when you all met and you still decided to stay with him. But I’d keep on mentioning that his odor offends even though he will get bothered eventually he will start doing it so he won’t hear you “nag”. When he was younger did they not tell him how important it is? And not only that with all the masks being enforced when Covid hit, he didn’t smell his breath while wearing it?
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Maybe he is depressed. Maybe he was raised with some lack of cleanliness. Maybe there is no way in hell she can get him to any medical or emotional help. Maybe she can stop sleeping with him. Maybe she can just deal with it. Maybe she can just call it quits. You only have one life. It’s easy to let it slip by. Hope she can figure it out.
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I’m amazed at how many people commenting don’t realize that this is a sign of clinical depression.
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Pray for him,there is always away to help someone in need ,don’t judge him ,if you really don’t know him,if you know God take it to Him in prayer ,He will help your husband as well as you I know loving and talking it out helps alot it takes time ,but with God all things are possible Amen.
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I loved a guy that just wouldn’t EVER brush his teeth. He got pissed at any and all ‘nice tries’, but I couldn’t handle it to the point of just wanting to gag. He wasn’t depressed. I think it was due to fact his first wife was a dental hygienist and it was his way of defying her or something. IDK, but I called it quits.
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Sweetheart, I’m not trying to be mean but … you dated him first, right? His hygiene habits were the same then (I’m pretty sure). So, I’m kind of wondering why you would have married him knowing that. You cannot make a person care about their lack of personal hygiene … you’re going to have to decide if this is a deal breaker … my guess is you are already at that point because you are reaching out and asking others what to do. We all do the same thing about so many things in our lives, we need reassurance with the decision we are about to make, no matter how painful it will be. I wish you the very best my dear … hugs <3
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That’s a tough one. Tell him you cannot sleep with him any more until he is ready for a conversation about clean. Then approach it kindly and shower with him. Best of luck.
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Hi, i think you need to find out what the real issue is and then take it from there, tel him you love him and that you value him, and that together you two need to figure out what triggered this and find a solution together. Maybe if he feels validated and not alone he will open up. Strongs🤗
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does he work… surely everyone he comes across thinks and says the same… some people are just lazy… if you and everyone around him is saying this… I’m thinking he has no self respect and just doesn’t care
He definitely could be dealing with depression. That affects me too and I really struggle to keep up with daily hygiene. For some it’s hard to open up about but try and start a conversation and communicate with him to see what’s up.
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Tell him to take a shower w you. Get him in and wash him yourself. Wash his body and his hair for him. When he gets out soak his feet and do his nails for him and lotion his feet n legs. Sometimes love and caring for someone is all it takes. Definitely sounds like depression and needs a doctor but until then care for him yourself. Let him know that you love him and are willing to go above and beyond for him.
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Sometimes you gotta hurt some feelings to get through to people. Do you best, be straight forward, and tell him in a soft way that he needs to do better for himself
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Your husband needs counseling. He most likely has clinical depression with some underlying problems. Please get him the help he needs and save your marriage.
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He is not wanting to take care of himself because he doesn’t feel good about himself. You both need counseling. Yes he noticeably has an issue but I also feel that it has affected your marriage to the point it’s not a one sided situation. Then if the counselor finds him depressed therapy with meds will be an avenue to take. But you also need to talk to someone outside of this forum
Maybe he has depression. Lack of hygiene is a sign of depression
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Give him an ultimatum its you or the shower if it’s depression might make him open up.
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Could be something deeper. Maybe hes depressed or going through some sort of stuff internally that makes self care harder for him. I could be wrong but the fact that he started off (im assuming) hygienic & the defensiveness tells me something might be up with him that he’s either not talking about or even not necessarily aware of.
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Was he like this before marriage? If not then, as someone who battles the demon depression myself I’d worry about that. I can tell you when my depression is at its worst showering is literally exhausting.
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Tell his mother that if he doesn’t start showering you will leave him.
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It is a big problem🙏🏻If he doesn’t care that you do…the bigger problem here is attitude. I am sorry but maybe you need to do you now. Find alternatives for you. Maybe hes not the guy you married
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You say since you’ve been married . So he was clean while you were dating. And there have been no major changes in your life ? We are missing something here.
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Was he like that before you married him? If not, it sounds like some type of mental illness. He needs to see a doctor to find out . The longer a mental illness goes on the worse it can get. My brother was like that and his went so long before getting help… it’s really bad. His doctor told us if he had gotten on medication sooner it would have been a a lot better.
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sounds like he is depressed. I’d ask him more questions about how he is doing in general right now because there is likely a deeper issue if he’s fighting you on basic self care
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Tell him he stinks,take a.shower,tell him his teeth are gonna fall out. Tell him if he don’t do better, hit the road ,you will find a man that has respect for you and himself.
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I dated a guy like this we broke up several times because of it. I absolutely adored him and him me however he would be good for a week and then fall back into the same trap. I wouldn’t kiss him or sleep with him and sometimes it would be super unpleasent - Id try to avoid him. I’d bring it up and he was the same, have a tantrum like a child. I reached out to his family and had been told this had been an ongoing issue all his life, flatmates had talked him, his close friends etc and yet nothing changed. In the end I had to walk away because this was my non negotiable in the relationship and I was tired of giving all the time, while he was just taking.
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Does he have a history of depression? This sounds very much like what many men go through due to depression and are too stubborn or ashamed (because it’s not “manly”) to reach out for help.
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Pretty sure it was bad BEFORE they got married.
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sit him down and talk to him about it. if he’s avoiding things like that then it might be for a reason. maybe he doesn’t like water or how toothpaste tastes. maybe things like that weren’t encouraged when he was a child. talk to him and get to the bottom of it.
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Omg I’ve been in this situation and it’s not fun. I ended up leaving the guy. He never brushed his teeth or took a shower. Then when I pushed him to do it he would get in and still come out smelling like butt. He was a good father and a good companion. But that bad hygiene made it very hard to be intimate
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This sounds like a mental health issue. Cleanliness is important for his health. Get him a thorough physical, STAT. What is his work? How can he expect to be employed if he isn’t keeping himself up?
You need to get to the root of this problem. If he can’t or won’t deal with it you need to go.
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Tell him you have no attraction for him because of his hygiene. Does he really expect you to have sex with him in his condition, or is he making advances? He may be depressed and in need of counseling and medication for depression.
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I’m sure he didn’t change overnight, you married him for who he is so sorry but that’s your problem
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My husband was clean when we first got together. Then he would shower once a week to go fishing. I started sleeping with him. Couldn’t stand the smell. He kept on being like and then he cheating. I told him he had to go. My husbands hygeine was terrible. That was 15 years ago. It’s up to you. However i ain’t having sex with a nasty person or a cheater. He found a girl just like him. Hopefully you can resolve the problem. Wish you the best.
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Can u tell him no sleeping in same bed & no nookie unless he showers & brushes.
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They can hid it very well. Once married they can just stop, been there. Marriage lasted 364 days before I left. He hid A LOT of stuff
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Yup got one of those. He has no teeth left now. U was always telling him go brush your teeth your breath stinks. Now he has no teeth but still needs mouthwash. Then I have to tell him to have a shower cause he stinks so bad. He gets mad …doesn’t like the way I tell him. I’m like what are you a baby. Oh what will you pls have a shower because you stinking up the livingroim. Then I get well I was going to have a shower. Well another 3 days pass. I have to hold my breath if I get too close. I ask again " I thought you said you were going to show" by this time he is so sour he Ricks. Uagh I avoid going anywhere near him. I stay on opposite side of living. And you never want to step foot in his bedroom. Omg.
Such a slob and no they dont change they get worse and lazier
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I just wondered… you didn’t noticed during your dating time or before said " I Do ’ ?
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Did he become this way after you married? This can be a symptom of deeper psychological distress.
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Or he just lazy and has a ring on it so he quit trying period
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he needs a few doses of homeopathic sulphur, 30 c maybe five . this will cure him. its not intentional its miasmic!
Perhaps he’s depressed. Not everyone finds these things easy when they’re depressed, it’s also a common thing with ADHD have-ers to struggle with basic hygiene.
I guess I would feel five years is enough. I’d get my own place and if he loved you he would change. If not, move on.
If he is a functioning adult and doing everything but personal hygiene it may be something more than depression… I know somebody who’s exactly the same way and goes through bouts because he was sexually abused as a child and I think when he starts to self hate himself and think too deeply is when he doesn’t take care of himself. So you may want to start with marriage counseling to get to what the real issue is and he can break off into self counseling if need be.
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I think stop nagging! But you make it a point to praise him whenever he is little clean and dresses up well ! & do so genuinely !
Try doing facials etc for self a nd jokingly apply pack on him too with happy mood ! Go for swimming or Jacuzzis for enjoyment without hinting him that all this is done to !! make him clean ! And then whenever he is clean go near him and let him feel how much you love
Just put up a tent in the yard give him a sleeping bag. Or if he get to bad meet him at the door with a bucket of water and dump it on. Or get him outside and trum the garden hose on him, when give him a bar of soap.
It’s called Depression , see what he’s not happy about in his life
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I have actually heard about this once before. A colleague opened up to us about her husband’s issues regarding hygiene and she mentioned that she think he needs professional help and another wife said that her husband had been seeing a therapist. Depression or other issues manifest at any age or period of life, before and during marriage and that’s absolutely okay. A therapist would be able host hopefully productive conversation between the two of you 
Good luck!
Dont alliw him in the marital bed, at least until he changes his way, lots of nagging, do beauty pampering at home to highlight dirt in the skin, run your bath and leave the water for himx? Get him involved in bed cleaning process doing laundry etc show him what its costing.and the efforts it takes to keep things hygienic x
You made a big mistake , and we all do . Hopefully he will change , but if not ? ? ? Well you just might have to repent of that bad judgement , and start a new life without him . Move on , and don’t even look back .
I had a bf who would draw me a lovely bubble bath with candles around. After we split, he told me that my hygiene wasn’t up to his level and thïs was a non-confrontational way to fix it. Perhaps you can figure a more male way to accomplish this. How about throwing in a back rub?
Does he get mad or do you just react to his “loud”? You obviously need to be louder. Cuz no.
That said, he must’ve been gross before and you didnt notice? Something is missing.
Either way this is gonna be an unpopular answer: he is dirty. And either you will be fine with dirty or you need to move on.
But “dirty” is a thing you will never get rid of. Sorry not sorry.
Goodluck
Try doing the same, don’t wash or clean your teeth, won’t be easy, but see if he likes you smelling, if that doesn’t work, there’s no hope for him.
Take him outside drop a bucket of soap on him and hose his butt down if u have ppl to help u out they can hold his butt down while u spray and if u have even more they can scrub his butt down or spray him with frebrezze every 30 mins til he showers 
Listen…if you, like myself, require proper hygiene in a partner, I’m going to say run for the hills! If he is a grown man with poor hygiene, it’s not going to get any better the older he gets. Idk why everyone is jumping on the depression kick. Sometimes it’s upbringing, laziness, or just plain not caring. It’s important and if it makes not want to be physical, I say run. Save yourself the monthly yeast infection.
Bad physical hygiene is a deal breaker. If he was like this when you were dating,why did you think it was going to get better. If things have gotten worse tell him either he cleans himself up or you’re gone. It’s disgusting for a grown person to not clean themselves
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I’m sorry but personal hygiene is a must, it not being a priority is just being lazy. To not want to shower or bath, or brush teeth is just not acceptable. I wouldn’t be attracted to him either, so maybe seek some professional help.
1st thing you shouldn’t be publicly posting about your husband on social media, it’s personal between you and him, you’ve kinda betrayed him. I suggest you seek counseling and get it from someone that doesn’t know either of you…
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He needs therapy. It sounds like depression possibly.
Most of the time its the way they were raised. Its a habit you get into and if not taught thats what youll fall into the rest of your life.
Since most healthy men LOVE sex I’d use the carrot and stick method. Instead of confronting him which makes him defensive and angry I’d invite him into the shower for a loving, sexy scrub 2-3 times a week. Appeal to his need for release and his getting a great reward for good hygiene.
I had the hardest time when I was depressed showering, my boyfriend just invited me to join his showers a lot when i took “too long” to do it on my own. No rude comments about how long it was since I showered and I got clean without feeling self conscious. Was way easier to say yes to joining him, with a shower already running and warm and with company, than get up motivation to do it myself
Sorry to say, but I don’t think a wife or girlfriend should have to train a grown man how to clean up himself. That should have been done when he was a child, teenager and adult. I’ll train my child how to take care of him or herself. That’s it < bye bye
Is he on the autism spectrum? Maybe high functioning. They have serious issues with loud sounds and smells and the way something feels.
My husband is that way. He just does not want to shower. And too take a bath,? He’s says the tubs too small. However, when we got together, the guy small tub in our apartment was just fine for both of us. Now we’re in a house, Lol. It’s been at least two months since he showered. He shaves, but that’s it. Nothing I do helps. As in, ok new sheets in the bed, shower please babes, or he wants a haircut, but he won’t shower for it, says he will after, but does not. I cried last time I shaved his hair, was so gross, I thought to myself “ wtf?” I mean really? His hair is…. Well, bad. Greasy, & cooties. For information purposes, he’s 73. In 50. We’ve been together 22 years. I support him. And I love him, as always, just can’t figure this out.
During the dating process he was probably excited and felt happy while pursuing you. After marriage and things settled in, the joy could be gone and depression has set in ? Just a thought. The real question is, as others have asked, was he this way before marriage?
Take a soap bucket Full of water and pour it over him do it this frequently
Easier to fix the outside than the inside. Tell him he needs therapy and if he refuses you cannot stay.
Dump that funk! It’s been said that, some schizophrenic people are comfortable with their funk, it’s like a security blanket.
Don’t have any kind of physical contact with him including kissing until he shows and brushes his teeth
Some people are raised this way, it’s not depression. If you haven’t changed him by now, you probably wont ever. Sorry
Could most definitely be depression but the thing is most men won’t talk about it or admit it because they see male depression as a sign of weakness 
be understanding and try to be helpful, not hurtful, about it. But if it really just is a lack of interest or care in taking care of himself not due to an underlying issue, well, now that’s a problem. Just don’t make assumptions before you talk to him and see if he’ll open up about anything that may be troubling him.
Leave…you been together for 5yrs…and he still doesn’t want to, you need to be happy too
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Well you knew of this condition before you married him…
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This is a problem you were aware of when you started dating before yall even got married how is it a problem now
Why you marry him if this is a problem , why didn’t you pick all this up at the start
Tell him how you feel about it all. Let him know it’s unattractive,& you can’t live like this any more, honestly is better told,than not saying anything at all. Good luck,hope he changes his ways for you.!
Try asking him to take a shower with you maybe? Bc it could be depression it might help you guys connect a little more and you could help wash him so he’ll get clean and comforted at the same time. And that might help with the physical attraction yk both of yall naked and close with good smells and all lol
Anything done repeatedly can become a habit. Take a bath with him and make it fun and sexy. Do it often.
Is he suffering from depression??
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You can take a shower, brush your teeth and put on deodorant in 10 minutes. He has to have depression or something. See if he will consider counseling.
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Point of marriage is care and understand each but if one partner is fucking around and not contributing then it’s time to let him go. You be more happier being alone then putting up with misery life.
I agree with a lot of the comments about depression. Unfortunately there are a lot of men that will not admit it or look for help.
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You been with him five years, you weigh up the positive and negative, you have a choice to stay or leave, he has a choice to change.
Sorry I should have not
said what I did that wasn’t funny or nice .
How old is ur husband ?if you don’t mind my asking ?
Because my experience men reach I certain age and they stop caring about how they look and if they never go any where why bother is the attitude they have .
It could be depression or it could just be that he don’t care.And if your constantly on him about it than maybe that’s an issue for him .
You married your husband for better or worse those are the vows.
Try getting him some cologne or invite him to shower with you .Maybe all he needs is spice in his life .
My hubby Same except he will actually do something about it if I tell him, sounds like he got lazier
You surely knew this before you married him. You chose him as he was you cant now attempt to change him.
It could be a sensory processing disorder.
I’m in that same stuff with my fiance. He finally told me that he doesnt like the feel of water on his skin BUT he rinses off his arms, face and legs after work before he comes home cuz he works around powders in a manufacturing plant. I still cant understand it tho! I’m still majorly attracted to him but the smell gets a bit nasty especially due to it being summer now.
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