I have been with my husband eight years, paid the bills on my own for 6, now he’s paid them for three months and brings it up constantly; but I am responsible for ALL chores, kids, extra expenses, animals, etc. I do all the cleaning, cooking, shopping, child-rearing, and still he throws in my face when he pays a bill. Should I just let it slide, or is it time to go?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband has paid bills for 3 months and won't stop throwing it in my face: Advice?
Leave him. He doesn’t deserve u
That’s small dick energy. I would tell him to kick rocks
Throw in his that you’ve supported the household by yourself for 6 years. Tell him it’s about time.
I would tell him that you paid all the bills for 6 years and you do everything for the kids and around the house. So stop bringing it up. You are a team but if he doesn’t want to be one then you should end things.
Sounds like financial abuse. In my opinion a man should provide everything for his family
I would say stand up for yourself. Marriage is a constant of give and taking and picking each other up when they are down.
That shirt wouldn’t fly in our house i have been the bread winner for 9 and he damn well knows he best keep his trap shut when i go to step back in the next year and he Bess step his ass up
How about you sit down and have a talk with him explain u’re side of the story
If he loves you he wouldn’t throw it in your face. Period. Have a sit down talk and make boundaries I’d he doesn’t respect your boundaries leave.
Tell him how you feel. If he care he will listen. Leave if nothing change.
Write him a “bill” each week for all the services you do by yourself. Tell him to subtract this weeks bill from what he pays and you expect the difference in cash. What a jerk and I’m sry you are sharing your life with someone like that
Following. Just left a similar relationship…
This isn’t a good sign for a relationship/marriage. On its own, it might not be enough to throw the towel in, but it shows a lack of respect and equality between you two. I’d suggest relationship therapy
Oh no no! This is a form of abuse. Do not let it continue and do not let him talk to you like this. Together or not together he would still have to provide.
Tell him you don’t congratulate a fish for swimming
You have a roommate, not a partner
Wow. Sounds like a real man you got there! If anything it should be half and half. If he can’t handle 3 months of providing some for his family then it’s going to be a long haul for you and a never ending battle. Most MEN do everything they can’t provide for their family and mom helps out not mom proxies and does everything and pays financially while dad sit on his ass and complains about a few bills he’s had to cough up $ for. He’s be gone if it were me
Leave him. The right man would wanna provide for you. Period.
You’ve shown you can stand on your own, you dont need him or that bs everyday.
Just say well its about time if u don’t like it find somewhere else to live.x
Tell him to kiss your ass
I would have told him about time he stepped up too bad he didn’t do it sooner.
Throw everything you do in his face. When my SO says something to me I tell him to wash his own fucking clothes and cook his own meals too!
Stop doing what you do for a few days, do not talk to him or look at him and when he asks why you are behaving that way, then tell him what you think of his behavior and that you are not willing to tolerate.
Key word is married. You pay that shit 50/50. If he thinks differently you show him the door.
Men can be so weird at times. They do something that contributes to the household, and then want a reward. Um no it’s called doing your part. You get no reward for that. I’m not sure why others are suggesting you divorce him. That’s a far stretch imo lol, but definitely let it be known to him that he needs to keep it up.
Talk to him face to face and have it wrote down all u do and how much his does ! !
Make him pay you for all you do, see how he feels then. I work 80 to 84 hours every 2 weeks, I take care of child / animals / cleaning etc myself.
Tell him he can suck his own Dick and wash his dirty underwear for free…gotta get that money worth.
Time to go. Unappreciated, he expects of you what he won’t produce for you. I let it all slide, beware…time to go
There is really nothing you can do …once that is started it’s always going to be a tit for tat … what you did …what he did what you did …what he you did…and on and on if it wasn’t a big deal he wouldn’t of brought it up… and then when you start to say well I did it for 6 years … it’s just going to keep going back and forth …
Time to kick his lazy ass out lol
Let him know that you carry balls on your chest too which are much bigger than his so he needs to tone himself down a notch.
Been with my husband for 7 years in October and he has always provided for me and now our kids since the day we got together! If you provided for him it’s his turn now and if he doesn’t like it then stop cleaning the house lol
I would tell him exactly what you told us. And then there should be a discussion on how to fix this issue between the 2 of you.
You shouldn’t let it go but I wouldn’t jump to leaving either…. Try and talk with him like you are us
Tf. Kick him in the n*ts. Kidding. But stay strong if you can, don’t let him act like you aren’t contributing. Everyone in the family has to contribute in different ways or it won’t flow. Tell him to stfu and do his part without complaining.
Leave. He doesn’t deserve you
Well I wouldn’t say that’s something to get divorced over but why is he so proud over something that a real husband and father does anyway? Just buy him a cookie and tell him to stop being a dick.
Leave you did it for six years and never threw it in his face he is being childish about it
It was time to go a while ago from the sounds of it.
Let him be responsible for his own meals laundry etc . Only worry about you and the kids
Time for a reality check.
Tell him good job for being adult now stop being a child. Everyone has to pay bill u r a team.
MF would be paying the bills that’s for sure. Who the hell does he think he is? I would pack for him. He can go somewhere else and see if someone else pays the bills.
GIVE HIM a HUG and "GOOD JOB’
Uhmmm i mean i don’t think it’s something you throw the entire marriage away for alone. If it is just that sounds like you need to talk to him about how it makes you feel. And go from there
He sounds childish and immature. No man would do that. He’s a boy who thinks he’s better then you bc of money. Stop catering to him and see just how things go when a grown ass man child has to start doing things for himself… and since when did paying bills equate to not being a parent and being an active role in your children’s lives and home.
Men like this pi$$ me off. I more than likely would say something to the effect of " yeah I pulled the weight for 6 years it’s nice to see you finally doing something for a change, You only have 5 years and 9 months to go before we’re even a$$hole."
Well tell us more about how you behaved when the bills were paid for 6 years before that? It may tell us more about the situation before giving undue advice… Did you behave the same when you paid the bills and what about before that? Who was paying the bills before you were for 6 years? Is it maybe him projecting getting over the insecurity of not being able to provide? These things aren’t as straight forward as the “leave him sis” people make it appear…
TELL HIM to just KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK !!!
Or go to work and let him do what u do at home
Since you do all of that, what exactly is his role?
Slow clap and tell him to do it for 6 years before coming at you with that nonsense.
Sounds like bullshit to
Me leave the jerk maybe he will appreciate u when he can’t have u !
Tell him once he pays bills totalling this then he’ll be even with your contribution to the household
Not even read the full post and allready im thinking get some kids stickers and everytime he mentions it just give him one its just what I would do xx
It was time to go 6 yrs ago.
Time to leave his ass
He would have to pay them all and have responsibilities if he was living alone……
Pat him on the head and Throw dog treats at him every time he wants to be praised
Marriage isn’t just give up when the going gets tough.
Talk to him & if it doesn’t work get a counselor .
Fight for your marriage.
PLEASE don’t listen to anyone telling you to just go.
Type up a bill for him with house work and child care added up and show him how much you’re worth. I can almost guarantee it’s more than what he paid
Shud of had of the pass receipt frm 8 years to remind him every time he brings up a bill
Tell him you know he works hard and that you also work hard around the house. Also remind him that you carried his children. He can’t really compete with that!
You already know. Let that LOSER go!
He does the BARE minimum and when he does, he throws it in your face…
You can do better, love yourself💜
When he brings it up just tell him your proud of him, you did it for 6 years and you know how hard it is. Then tell him everytime you finish a chore…honey I cooked dinner, honey i bought groceries, helped the kids with homework, baths, fed the animals, washed the clothes, ect…and you could always say honey since you’ve been such a big help lately, would you mind helping me with this (whatever it is) …its just nice to have someone I can depend on like you…
Punch him in the face and call him a pussy, tell him his going to keep doing that or to get out with an “I’ll see you in court”
I understand yr resentment towards him not seeing the bigger picture. But just let him have this one girl…n let him pay them bills too for the next 6 years alone so he can see what it is.
Paying bills shouldn’t be something to brag about…that’s expected of any adult
Throw it in his face how you held the household down for 6 years. About time he stepped up and acted like a man.
If he can’t handle what you say back, he can up and leave.
I threw a jar of peanut butter at mine one summer. (I’m a teacher- he pays summer bills and was being a jerk as I was putting up groceries). He’s never said another word- that was years ago.
You shouldn’t have to defend yourself girl , the fact your thinking of leaving says it all , You’ve been done awhile do what’s best for you and your kids !!!
If you are posting here, you are done.
He obviously was dependent on you and now that he can’t be a house wife he’s upset… y’all been together long enough for him to appreciate what you do !!! Kick his ass to the curb
Remind him when you paid the bills
That’s crap I’m a stay at home mom and my husband will never make me feel that way set your and boundaries remind him if you two weren’t together he’d be paying half of your bills anyways and having your children half the time in cleaning his own house I’m sure when he gets up to go to work every day he doesn’t worry about where he hast to take his kids and if they’re going to be safe or not he needs to appreciate you and it’s not right at all
It’s been time to go…
Ask him straight out what his problem is
Omggggg you are not alone I would rather work then do everything I do at home
A person will only treat you as bad as you let them. A husband should always pay rent and bills. A wife should help if two of you both work but soul responsibility is the husband. You take care of the house and kids. If both work invite him to help also if you work outside the house. He is taking full advantage of your kindness. End this abuse.
I think all partners should show they’re significant others the thread to their posts and give them a damn wake up call. It’s ridiculous how much people expect from women, especially mother’s. It’s a form of abuse. It causes you stress continuously and in moments when he makes you feel guilty and shame thats your body sending out extra cortisol. He’s literally killing you slowly. Please demand some boundaries. You don’t deserve to be treated like that and it’ll give you chronic illnesses in the end. If you feel like you have a low sense of self worth follow Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach just reading her posts have helped me understand and process my emotions and boundaries. Over time maybe it can help you too.
Send him a bill with amount of each thing you do. And for the years he his behind doing anything. Ask him how he would like to pay CASH OR CREDIT CARD
Remind him that’s his job
Sounds like a narcissistic jerk to me. I’d be visiting a lawyer…a divorce lawyer.
If u have to ask strangers it’s time to go
Partners support not nag so on its hard for sure
Am stay home mom cheaper for now the daycare
My hubby works I do house stuff kid stuff but he piches in if needed takes a team
I’m soooo glad I’m happily single.
Best decision I ever made.
Time to go for sure. Sounds like a lazy pos and needs a wake up call
Let it slide? Absolutely not. You’re reaching out for advice meaning that you already don’t want to let it slide. Do you think you’d feel guilt, resentment? If there’s an issue, communicate that to your husband.
Time to go? Where? Why!?
“Tolerate my husband or leave my husband.” Those are the only choices you have given yourself. Is the relationship not repairable? Do you want to repair it? He clearly has an issue paying the bills, he is communicating it to you (horribly but still) ask him why he doesn’t like to or want to pay the bills. Find out if there’s a bigger issue. Don’t force yourself and your kids out of his life over one issue when you can fix it.
I’d be getting an attorney and filing for divorce. It takes 2. And if he’s going to act like a child when you both should be working together in your household then I’d be done.
Can we do away with men as a whole? Can we decide this as a society?
I think you know you’re done. What do you need him for? You do it all by yourself anyway. Lord forbid he pays bills for his wife. Wow
Text him every time you do anything around the house “I cleaned the bathroom” “I bathed the kids” “I broke up a sibling fight” “I cooked your dinner” “I washed your underwear” EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Thats his job after all…talk about t
Watch the movie Called “War Room”
I have been married for 52 yrs I was 17 he 21.We have mutual respect for who does what.I have only worked part time over my 69 yrs,he full time.I pay some ,he pays some !Sounds like your husband is spoiled rotten and use to you paying the bills ,but then throws it in your face when he’s doing it ?Very childish !This is me,if he can’t change this treatment of you and apologize to you ,as he’s been very mean I wouldn’t allow anyone to treat me this way I would end ! It also will teach your children how they think they should be treated in life how do u want your children treated like Dad is treating Mama?Marriage is a two way street not one way.Wishing you the
very best in life !
WTH it’s 50 50 if you staying home taking care of the house kids and pets cooking and all the extras it’s just right for him to pay the bills
I would just remind him that if he doesn’t want to Pay for child support and split day care he should have some [email protected]&$ing respect and be a team player !
If you have to ask. Time to flee