My husband hates my makeup

So here's my dilemma! My husband and I have been married 4 years together for 6. I have a lot of make up bc im hoping to become a make up guru! I'm getting alot better with my make up.. my husband has an issue however as he calls it war paint! He doesn't understand why I like to wear make up. Now mind you I for the most part have flawless skin and I don't wear foundation or concealer except for special occasions where I need to hide some dark circles (mom life not enough sleep sometimes). He thinks i wear it for attention and I don't no matter how many times I tell him I wear it for me he says I wear it to get attention from other people like his attention isn't enough! Any time I do my eyes he gets mad. Its not like it takes me hours to do and I plan ahead before we go anywhere I always do it while he's doing dishes or in the shower before we go somewhere so I have enough time.. I just don't know how to get it through his thick makeup hating skull that its FOR ME and not anyone else!!!
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband hates my makeup

Sounds like he is insecure! Don’t let him dim your light ! You owe yourself happiness and do whatever makes you happy !!!

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My husband and sons hate my make up. Tell tell me I don’t need it. So as long as I have a tan I only wear mascara. He probably just thinks your pretty without it. And my husband jokes when I do a full face makeup and asks who I’m trying to impress. Lol. It’s a joke it doesn’t bother me.

He’s very insecure…and controlling. It’s your face, do what you want.

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This has nothing to do with your makeup. Your husband is possessive and insecure and sadly that can be dangerous. Good luck

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I had a boyfriend call it “slut powder” and “whore spray” (perfume)

We are no longer together. :v:He was an abusive prick. Not at first, but it developed.

He sounds like an absolute psychopath

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Don’t let any man control you. That’s what he’s trying to do. No man will ever tell me not to wear make up. Do what makes you happy!

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Because he buys into the whole patriarchy thing of women are either chaste virgins or whores. Antiquated beliefs.

I would simply ask “is that what you really think of me” and leave it at that
You cant force him to understand but he doesnt have to either
I would stick to asking why he thinks you need attention from anyone other than him etc etc

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You’re not the problem, your makeup isn’t the problem. His insecurity is the problem.

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Well, to me … He doesn’t even sound insecure . He definitely doesn’t understand why you like the make up, that’s clear, but again, most men don’t understand how a woman feel when “shes done up” or “made-up” Men are (mostly) simple creatures. He sees you as beautiful, so doesn’t understand why you have have desire to wear the make up that changes how you look. Every woman knows that make-up can and does, change your look, I mean, that is the point, to enhance something, or minimize something … Maybe he prefers you to have a natural look, which has nothing to do with control, but more about a preference.

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Tell him make up artist with no license that do it on the side in my smaaaaalllll city book up to 200$ for a whole face right now. Just saying

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I’d ask him why you getting extra attention is bad. He sounds insecurities but you don’t want to say that and make it worse. The more questions you ask the more likely someone finds fault in their own perception

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What it sounds like to me as you probably look absolutely gorgeous with make up I feel women say they like women without make up some of the time is because they look really pretty with it and they’re scared that you’ll get somebody else

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Lmao tell him to get over himself. Mine was the same way & I simply told him I value myself and love to feel good and confident. He should try it sometime.

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This is a prob as it will always be a prob he will never change that mind set so either get use to it or change urs I think its unreasonable to ask him to change vis versa he shouldnt ask u to change either hence the prob dont fight about makeup it stupid it’s ok to have different opinions

Your face, you can colour it in if you want.
Tell him to grow up, it’s eye shadows not dicks your sneakily doing while he has a shower :roll_eyes:

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Just let him know u like it, and u don’t care ur not changing it

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My husband is the same. Complains when I do my hair/make up. Says “who are you trying to impress” when I put make up on, straighten my hair, or decide to curl it (I have always sucked at curling my hair so I like to practice randomly even when I’m not going anywhere.

I tell him to shut it I just feel like doing it. Then continue to do it. It annoys me.

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My fiancé loves natural beauty, most men actually do. I don’t think he’s insure the way other’s are implying. I think Angie Templeman gave the best explanation; he just doesn’t get it. Maybe try comparing it to a hobby that he enjoys but that you might not entirely understand or have interest in. If you haven’t already, maybe say, “if it brings me enjoyment and confidence but doesn’t hurt anyone, why wouldn’t you want that for me?” He doesn’t have to like it, but he does need to support you and your passion.

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All these women screaming abuse lol

Abuse is when my ex took all my make up, destroyed it and wouldn’t allow me to even wear tinted chapstick. That is abuse.

I think this is just him being insecure. An asshole even. Some men don’t like full face makeup (mine doesnt), but it becomes abuse when he forbids you to wear it.

Make up is a form of art. Try explaining that to him.

Yeah, I for one am triggered by the word he so lovingly describes as ‘warpaint’. As a Native American female who wears make-up, that shit is lame ass. Pile all the make up on girl!!

He’s insecure in himself. It’s not you or the make up. He knows he’s not treating you in a manner that ensures you won’t leave him but he thinks making you insufferable is the answer rather than addressing his own actions. Y’all would probably benefit from some counseling.

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You do you to feel good about yourself and/or put-together. There’s nothing wrong with this.
He should think about learning to express himself better than this though, and appreciate his beautiful wife instead of trying to insult you, change you or your mind. Support things he could do to make himself feel good as well.

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I saw this the other day…
Don’t have a hot girlfriend, if you are going to be mad at her for being hot!
Sounds like your beautiful and make up makes you even more beautiful. Stick to your guns. Make up is for you!

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your husband sounds insecure.

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That sounds like a controlling issue. Wow.

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My husband tells me he doesn’t understand why I want to wear makeup because I’m beautiful without it, but he never gets upset if I do wear it. :woman_shrugging:t3:

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He needs to grow up!! And stop being soo insecure :unamused: my husband loves when I get ready or choose to look homeless. He loves regardless like a man should…

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Him thinking you are beautiful without it and him getting mad when you were it are 2 different levels. If the issue was that he only thinks you don’t need it, he wouldn’t be trying to control you like that. Don’t look at this like it’s a sweet thing like some of these people are suggesting.

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I don’t understand men like this at all!!! :roll_eyes:

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Hes definitely insecure

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If it makes you happy it should make him happy for you. Anything else when it comes to something harmless like this is just him trying to be in control of you. It’s okay for him to prefer you without makeup, but not okay for him to be negative towards for choosing to wear it.

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Because he loves you the way you re!

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Gives him something to fight over for u harder… if u know what I mean… I’m not anywhere near having flawless skin or hair… I have freckles lol :laughing: and I don’t wear makeup well I used too until I started going out w my bf and we’re still together after 13 years…

Wait… Your husband washes dishes

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That would be him with insecurity issues. My ex husband used to comment on my hair, makeup and outfit all the time. He was mentally, emotionally, verbally and physically abusive and I used to try to do my make up or dress nice for myself, to boost my own confidence. He saw it as me doing it for the attention of other men. It wasn’t enough that I wasn’t permitted contact with any male friends or even male family members… I was once accused of having an affair with my own cousin, that’s how bad it got. Your husband has some issues that he needs to work out. If you’ve never given him any indication of being unfaithful, then he’s just a controlling narcissist and you need to get out of there. Quick.

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I went through the same thing with my ex, my son’s father. It started with he didnt like my makeup, then began saying I dont know how to put makeup on the right way and it makes me look bad (he was trying to hurt me so I wouldnt do it anymore), and then he told me I wasnt allowed to wear makeup. He would also call me a whore if I put makeup on because I was looking for attention.
After multiple times of me trying to explain why I wear it and I also cover up my mom eyes, I quit wearing makeup all together and became soooo insecure and lost my self esteem.
I left him, obviously! Further down the road he admitted that he was insecure, he didnt want other guys looking at me, and he should not have treated me that way. He had also admitted to being controlling in many different ways during our relationship…

Needless to say, the relationship was SUPER unhealthy!

Sounds like he wants control

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Makeup is an art, it changes with the seasons and it’s so fun to play around with different looks. I feel like he can have his own opinion about it but he should understand it’s something you like, it’s a form of expression, a hobby etc

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That’s such an incredibly fragile and insecure and misogynistic ideology. As if women aren’t worth making ourselves happy, it’s always got to be for someone else. :roll_eyes::face_vomiting: :wastebasket:

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He needs to get over it. He’s not your father.

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What does he like to do for himself that makes him feel better,handsome etc?? Hair cut, shave, cologne?? Give him a taste back. Start complaining about what he does to feel better to show him how ridiculous he is being. This is just the beginning to how most women lose who they are. They can’t dress nice wear make up without having to cater in an insecure man. He needs to grow up and YOU need to keep doing you. Don’t let him steal anything from you that defines who you are whether it be just a simple thing like make up

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Wait- did you say while he was doing the dishes??? I’ll trade.

I’ve met men like this and it is insecurity.

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Maybe try to do a more natural look eye makeup. It sounds like it might be bold and bright. If it’s what I’m thinking I don’t blame him.

Men don’t understand this ever in my experience. Pretty much all of them tend to stick headstrong to the belief that women only try to look (and feel) good to get the attention of men. It’s very depressing dealing with someone who has this perspective. I’m sorry.

They don’t understand than women are love and beauty. And sometimes we actually want to feel like it.

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It’s a sign of an insecure and egotistical man.

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Keep doing it. Don’t let him stop you from doing it.

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Sound like the beginning of a very controlling man

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Contrary to popular belief, men are allowed to have feelings, likes and dislikes. Do you know on a popular scientific study found that a very high percentage of men don’t like women? So I can understand why he doesn’t like it, his reasoning however; is ridiculous. There’s nothing wrong with liking make-up and as long as you don’t leave it all the over place and you keep it neatly organized and you aren’t always late because you have to put your face on, then it should be fine. I’d honestly just tell him, “Look I know you like my face without makeup and I respect that, but I need you to understand that I like wearing makeup and practicing my skills and I need you to respect that. If you don’t think your enough for me then you need to work on your self confidence because you are enough for me I just need you to see that you are enough for me.”

I’m sorry… That is all I can say because I don’t wear make up most of the time. Not that I don’t enjoy it when I do.
It’s probably time for him to get therapy or for you to find someone that doesn’t steal your joy.

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This is how I equated it with my man, now I don’t normally take two hours to do my make up, but sometimes I do and he’s okay with that because how he has things he enjoys to do, like welding or video games, I enjoy playing with makeup and I’ve explained it just like that. “I know it seems like I’m just doing the same thing everyday but I’m not. Each day is a decision making adventure that leads me to a beautiful and fulfilling ending, just like when you complete a segment of your game or your entire game and feel accomplished and good about yourself, my makeup is the same way. I try new techniques and practice old ones in the same way you fight with opponents using old skills and new ones. I try a different shape or a different color, like sometimes you have to try a different approach to win that section, sometimes my makeup is killed by an unknown culprit causing me to start my level over, just like in your game” I make it into something they can relate to. Also doing my makeup everyday helps me so much with my depression. When I feel good about myself and like I put a little of energy into myself than giving all to other people, I am more likely to complete chores and even go above and beyond because I’ve taken time for me too and I’ve explained that as well. “I understand that you think I am the most beautiful woman in the world without makeup, and sometimes I agree, but sometimes I don’t see myself that way which is not your fault. Putting on makeup makes me feel like I’m actively being the best version of myself that I can possibly be on that day and I want to feel my best so I can give you my best” even though this is about being able to take time back for yourself try and make it seem like it’s to be able to do better for him and maybe he will be more understanding. Good luck mama from another makeup loving mom.

Um, you don’t. You just keep putting it on. You don’t owe anyone an explanation and fuck it play along and say “you’re right… I do it for attention” and see what happens. I guarantee you he’ll shut up. I don’t understand why women play into their mans games all the time. I take zero shit from my husband, yall should do the same. Life is a lot cooler.

I understand not liking make up, it makes a lot of women look fake and that’s not a good look. With that said, I understand you wanting to do make up for you. He can’t tell you what makes you feel better about yourself and his making assumptions that you want to impress other men shows how insecure of a man he is. He needs to work on those insecurities of his. Don’t stop doing what makes you feel good about you or what helps you because of another’s insecurities. Ever. Don’t let a man control you. When a man does that he needs to get help for himself as if a female acted like that she’d need to get help for herself. No one male or female needs to take their insecurities out on one another. Period. You’re responsible for your own insecurities and handling them, no one else.

Tell him ‘I am gonna wear it so get used to it’ and then ignore when he comments about it.

He knows he’s got a good girl and he’s insecure about himself and the way he treats you, therefore he thinks the makeup will attract a man who treats you better and you will move on…

I lived in this type of relationship for 9 years… and it only gets worse from here … this is a stepping stone to bigger things like

Why are you getting all dressed up

Why do you care what other people think

Why did you do your eyebrows was it for other men…

And on and on

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Men are ridiculous. I never go a day without makeup and I have never once put it on for someone else. I might touch it up and be a little extra for a date or something because it makes me feel good. Has nothing to do with other people. Men are so insecure

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I use to be in a Marriage like that. It ended badly. When we split I wore my makeup everywhere! No one will ever tell me again I can’t wear makeup. First it was makeup then it was shorts and then it was I wasn’t allowed to go to a store alone. Lol it will get worse . U have to let him know u r going tow ear it wether he likes it or not. He’s insecure !

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You cannot. My EXhusband acted this way. He was cheating. He blames you for what he’s doing. R U N.

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Just say I’m not getting enough attention from you so I wear make up as a self booster if I get looks from others boom ego boost. Make him realize you a queen and he needs to pay attention.

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My dad was like this with my mum- every time she would put makeup on, wear nice clothes or do her hair…… it ruined her- blew out all her self confidence . Eventually turned into accusing her of cheating all the time.

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He is too controlling if he is worried about your make up. I’d set him free.

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My toxic ex husband use to say the same things to me. He hated me wearing make up, I told him I wore make up before you and I will continue to. I like it and it makes me feel better for me. He threw it all in the fire one nite. Next day I used his money and went and bought all new. You are still an independent you. Don’t let no one take the things that make you and make you happy.

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I mean you wearing makeup is to get attention, it’s like how monkeys wear leaves on they’re head to make a statement to the rest of the monkeys “hey I’m not the same I have my own style and fashion “ another primary reasons why women wear makeup: Camouflage – Women who are anxious and insecure tend to use makeup to appear less noticeable.

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So if he met you married you and did you wear makeup all this time or is it new? Lot of men don’t like the extreme makeup but he should of known this before hand so why complain now. Tell him that you have always liked makeup and like someone else said he has his hobby/or something he enjoys so he should understand. But if there are other stuff in your life that only you and him know then it is not about makeup

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I call my own make up war paint I wouldnt give a shit what he has to say about it and I’d be sure he knew that

What they hate from their wives is what they love from side chics… :rofl::rofl::rofl: this gender won’t smell the gates of heaven.

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That has nothing to do with you or makeup but his own insecurities. Unfortunately that means he will need to fix it on his own, if you didn’t wear make up it would be something else.

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He doesn’t hate the make-up, he hates you wearing it. Jealousy and control.

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Jealous insecure controlling

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Its called self care and its essential for having good mental health. Tell him you enjoy it, it makes you happy and feel good. Just let u be

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Maybe intstead of all of you jumping down the man and man hating, maybe he simply just doesnt like it. My husband and i have been together almost 12 years and He hates when i wear makeup. There is NOTHING controlling about him. He just preferes the natural beauty as he puts it. I do wear it when we go out but otherwise i do not. Realationships are NOT all about the women and F the mans feelings.

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You don’t have to get it through his thick skull honey, this sounds like a ‘him’ problem and you do not have to explain why you AS AN ADULT, WHO IS CHARGE OF HER OWN BODY wants to put some colour and sparkle on.

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Stop arguing with him about it and just do you. Or better yet sarcastically agree with him

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Tell him straight. You look in the mirror sometimes and would sometimes like to feel more beautiful, it’s a pick me up a way of lifting your self confidence. It’s not for anyone else it’s for YOU not him or any other man it is for you. They don’t get it because they don’t have to live daily in competition with themselves.

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He’s insecure and he’s projecting that on to you. Don’t give in on what your passion is. Tell him the discussion is off limits. My husband tells me I’m beautiful with out without makeup and has never made me feel bad when I want to dress up and put makeup on.

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. It turns out there is some science to back up the fears driving them to wear makeup every day.

Women have it drilled into them from a young age that to be successful in everything, from dating to job interviews to forming friendships with other popular girls, they need to be pretty, and the basis for that isn’t entirely cultural. It may not be fair, but according to the Association for Psychological Science, attractive people are treated more favorably in every area of life, from dating to jobs to criminal trials.

Read more at: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/makeup/

I hate make up and never wear it. But tell him to suck it up and to stfu.wewr it if you want to. He can’t not control it. Start ignoring him every time he says it

He does the dishes??? I would choose that any day over make up :rofl:

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Ew insecurities. His issues are not yours and you keep doing what makes you happy girl. If he can’t be accepting and love you for liking makeup then boy bye.

Soon he’ll start accusing you of cheating and stuff because your not giving into his narsistic behavior. In hopes to minimalize you and keep in control of your life.

Don’t give in to it to " make him happy" don’t loose you or your passions for anyone especially when your not doing anything wrong, disrespectful or hurtful.

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It’s called insecurity! Just reiterate every time it’s for you not anyone else. Period no arguing! He’s just going to have to deal with it!

That sounds like a him problem not you!

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Sounds like my ex-husband , but he was much worse.

He has control issues and needs to work on his insecurities too. He has no right to tell you what you can or can’t wear on YOUR face.

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Tell him to get into therapy for control issues and you continue to wear it.

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You wear the make-up, don’t let a man tell you what to do.

My husband hates it too :woman_shrugging: he says that he thinks it’s a knock to women’s self confidence and natural faces because then we don’t feel like we’re beautiful without it. His concern is my wear will give our daughters a complex. Do what you want and let him deal with his worries himself

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Try make up with a “natural look” ??

He knew you liked it from the beginning :woman_shrugging:t2: Why try and change people or the things they like?

My man doesn’t care what I wear or how I do my make up. He knows I’m all his & he likes when I feel comfortable!! Get you a man who lets you be you!!

Isn’t the whole point of becoming a “makeup guru” for the attention and admiration of others?

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I don’t wear make up at all and yes you do it for you but you also do it for other people at the same time and I also call it war paint

Listen… Men don’t really care about “make up” unless you’re running around like a Drag Queen. It’s a new season. Ask for the card and go buy your Fall Color Palette

#FirstWorldProblems

Discouraging things you enjoy is a form of abuse. I’m guessing this isn’t the only area of your life he tries to control.

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He sounds mega insecure

I call it war paint too- Try doing it only when you are going to be home with him. Then slowly or a little at a time when you are going out. He’s being silly I know and agree