You can go to the family shelter, get a restraining order on him if your afraid of him and ask for full custody of the children, ask for alimony until you get on your feet, the state will help pay for college most likely. I know it’s easier said then done. Thinking and praying for you. Here if you need to talk or need a friend.
I thought I couldn’t leave either I was 19 with a 1 and 2 year old. No high school education. My family and friends lived in another state. I quietly put in applications for work and talked to state agencies that helped with childcare and the welfare office and the local domestic violence office. I put in an application for housing they said it would be months to years wait. I had all the time in the world to wait. When it all came together in 2 years I packed up the whole house and moved in 4 hours. I filed for divorce and here I am 28 years later with two beautiful sons that are respectful and successful. I did not want my kids to be like their father. It’s hard and scary. It takes alot of time and being very quiet about things. I had a hard time, but God always provided. Oh yeah I took a 20 or 40 dollars here and there so I would have money when the time was right. Good luck and God bless you.
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Reach out to a women shelter, they will help you. It will be hard but they will help you get your own life set up. Work, child support, a home. If your not happy there is a way.
Something i heard “its better to be from a broken home than be in one”. Wow he is teaching his children how to treat women and or how can be treated. Hello no
The ONLY person that can change your situation is YOU. My first suggestion to you is find on Mom’s group local to your area. Make friends. No one should have to stay with someone that makes you miserable.
He’s not a great father if he’s exhibiting that behavior in front of them. He wants you to know you are stuck with him and he runs the show. You’ll have to show him that you aren’t. You’ll get child support and likely some spousal support to help with bills. Get your citizenship if you don’t already have it. You can work then. Prepare to leave him, cuz with his angry demeanor I imagine he won’t let you go quietly. Make sure there is nothing on your record or any reason that he would get the kids over you, because that’s the first thing he would likely do just to spite you is take custody of the kids. Nobody deserves to be a servant like you’re explaining and especially without gratitude. It might be different if he at least acted properly while you’re doing everything for him. Remember you probably can’t afford an attorney if he makes all the money, so you’ll need to leave him in a way that you fear him, so you can get a free emergency injunction and temporary restraining order. It’s gonna be difficult, but I think it’s only a matter of time before it turns physical!! Good luck.
Domestic violence is an awful way of life. At first he yells at you. Then the kids. He curses at you. Then the kids. He hits you. Oh, he hasn’t yet but he will. Then the kids. He’s sorry. He’s always sorry. He won’t do it again. Until the next time. Is this how you want to raise your kids? Yes, you do have a place to go. Call Domestic Violence Services. They will help you. They helped me. There is help. You just need to make that first step. You can do this. You are strong. You are brave. You are the only person in this world to care for your child properly. We’ve got this girlfriend.
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Emotional abuse is just that! He is not a good father. He is showing the children it’s ok to treat people badly. Get help where can.
Prayers for you but it’s better to get out now before it gets worse there are places that help Women in cases like this! Prayers for you and your kids if he does that to you what’s to say your kids won’t be next!
You need to get out of that situation. You said he loves his kids but he is abusing them mentally. You can go to a women’s shelter until you can get on your own. But dont put your kids through that
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I will advise you to get help in the United states u could different organizations that could help you move on don’t wait until he start to bit u just with his verbal abuse is enough for you to leave leave that abusive relationship you could stand on your own a be a strong loving mother to your kid or if you see it hard leave then find help help for your marriage
Please find a local women’s shelter, see if they can help you! Also, if you do the shopping, get $20 or more if you can get away with it in cash, every time you go, get gift cards for yourself and hide them for when you’re able to leave. You can even find groups on Facebook, women who are in your community that can help you get out safely.
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There are women’s shelters in most areas. He is not a great father if he is disrespecting the mother of his children. He is teaching sons to disrespect the women in their lives. He is teaching daughters that they are of no use and they should be treated this way in marriage. This kind of behavior escalates over time. I know because I was in a marriage like this. Find a shelter or a Christian church and ask for help to get out of the marriage. They can help find work as well as legal citizenship if that is needed.
I think part of the reason is he’s exhausted and tired out …stressed maybe…find a way for him to take a few days break and find someone to watch the kids and get away for a few days. It might help to have different surroundings .he could however need anger management.
Hes a great father? Doesnt sound like it. Sounds like he is very abusive emotionally. Maybe he shouldn’t work so much, it might be why hes so angry. You should get a job just in case, he gets worse. I would leave, but I’m not in your shoes. Maybe go to college for interpreting. I hear intrepreters make a decent wage.
Leave, from experience…unless he wants help with his anger and abusive behavior and acknowledges and owns it…he won’t change. This behavior only deepens your feelings of inadequacy and lessens your self esteem. Seek counseling. My mother didn’t, I observed my father’s abuse and it sits deep within me as trauma. You don’t want that for your children. get the counseling and get out.
He’s not a good father. He’s teaching his children to be cruel to their mother. Get out
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I used to be in same boat 7 days a week for yrs and I was always mad tired yelling or drunk…I think as I got older I realized what I was doing to my family and made some changes…career change for one and finding hobbies you have to live to work not work to live…but that’s on him…if it means enough to him he will change…i wish you the best
He is an abuser… period! Right now it’s verbal with a likelihood of turning into physical towards you and later them kids. Have never been in such a situation but would suggest that you seek help from an impartial neutral party. Maybe professional. Just know you don’t deserve such treatment and that you have the power to make the right decision for you and your kids. No matter what happens, I’m sure that some of your family members will be there to support your decision.
Get out quick! He is Not a good father if he does this in front of the kids.
His verbal abuse will soon enough lead to physical abuse. Call the Domestic Hotline. You need to take the children and get to safety. And you’ve know about is anger from the beginning, and still choose to have children with him?
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Sounds like by relationship. My fiances a good dad and good partner, works hard but hes also got anger issues. We’ve had issues in the past and I told him straight up I’m leaving if he doesnt get help. So we’re in couples counseling to help with our issues and issues with our parenting styles (both have different styles of parenting). Our 7 yr old has adhd/odd and so does he so that takes a toll as well, but hes doing counseling and meds to try to make things right. I’d say talk to your hubby, if hes not willing to work on making a change then leave, save some money on the side where he doesnt know it is. When you have enough, find a place and a job and get out.
A good father would treat the mother of his children with respect and would try his best to be a good example to his kids. You and your children need to get out and fast. Look for woman’s shelter near your area. Get your kids and get out of there.
I had to go to a womens shelter, with my kids to get out of my situation. There must be some in your area. look them up on Google and see who can help you. Good luck. Doing something now is important, before it escalates. Prayers
Wow I thought I was reading my life. It’s been 20 years married for me 22 together. Good luck! Thanks for the post while some of us are afraid to ask for help! 
Please consult lawyer…we have to stop being helpless and no self pity…the legal system exists to protect human rights, it is right of every human being to live peacefully…
When you have a lawyer communicating to both of you, he will be accountable for all his actions and biases…
Please don’t only depend on social media.
Prayer is also powerful…you can join a Buddhist organization if you want…i can guide you.
Take care:gift_heart:
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I Agree She needs to Leave ASAP! I’ll bet he has hit her some too! Anyway she said she has only lived in the USA for 8 years. I’m sure that has to be very scary too! Anyone know what if she’s not a US citizen? I know nothing about that part? I know that shelters won’t turn her away because of that. Praying she gets out soon!
Wow! I thought I was a no nonsense person until I joined this group, but now I know I am a learner. It took me fighting tooth and nail to leave my abusive husband here in Nigeria. Even at that, sometimes I think I’ve made a mistake leaving because of what the society thinks and some demeaning messages he sends to me. How I am a bad and irresponsible woman for leaving him, that a responsible makes her marriage work. I know he’s emotional abusive but sometimes I feel tempted to reconcile with him. This group has given me much strength from all your comments I keep reading. Thank you!
Get out before it’s too late for you or your kids. As far as where to go, is there a women’s shelter or a local church you could turn to for help?
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Verbal turns physical, leave now. He isnt a good father. A good father doesnt teach children to treat others or that its ok to be treated that way. 8f you can take the kids bacj to your home country do it. If not, find a shelter in a nieghboring area, but not to close thats only for women and children.
Imo maybe you can start off by getting a part time job then gradually move on to a full time position; try and get him to go to marriage counseling, or at least try to communicate your feelings with him; if you can’t stay together save enough money to move out with your kids; also you didn’t mention his family 
wondering if there is anyone on his side of the family you can try and confide in and get some help
Find the nearest women’s shelter pack your bags and go, it only gets worse! Their is always help just sometimes have to take the 1st step to it.
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He’s not a good father if that’s how he treated their mother. I would start with some counseling and the women’s crisis center when you realize you and those kids deserve more. I’m sorry your in this situation. Be safe
Even though you are saying he is a good father, I’m worried you are defining “good” in a very unusual way. A good father wouldn’t yell and curse easily in front of kids.
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Battered women’s shelters will take in you and the children. They will offer counseling in a group setting and they can provide information for resources. It is not easy to leave an abusive relationship. I was successful in this but had family to run too. Maybe a church would be a good resource as well. Good luck.
Is there any women shelters around you that offer programs to help you get on your own feet? My sister was in a similar situation and the shelter she went to helped her find a job and a daycare/after school program for her kids. They also provided her and the kids with therapy to help them cope with the abuse they witnessed/experienced.
There are plenty of shelter’s who help women in this situation. Not ideal but it’s better than getting abused
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He is probably stressed out and misses home too like you and lonely as well. Try being a friend to him. You guys should just talk… find a nice quite time after ur kids have gone to bed and just try something new.
“But he’s a great dad” is something I said for YEARS. I lost friends, relationships with my family, and myself trying to please a fundamentally unhappy man. He was emotionally, mentally, verbally, physically and sexually abusive to me but he was “a great dad”.
You do have somewhere to go. There are so many resources for women in need of help. You can get out of that. You deserve better and you kids deserve to grow up in a home where there mother isn’t treated like a second class citizen. I hope you find the strength to leave. My thoughts are with you.
I’m sorry to say, it will never get better. You will find a time that you just can’t do it anymore and leave, and that’s the only way it will end. And then, when you are gone, he will start to take it out on the children- either one or both. Complete separation and legal help is the only way out and through it. Been there.
My husband used to be very angry all the time. The doctor put him on cymbalta to help with his anger and it helps a lot!!! Helps my anger issues as well … my husband works all the time too. But of course he would have to be willing to get the help. If not I would just go yourself and start putting the pills in his drink or food lol (for real) 
I’m just that kind of person.
Stress and anxiety. Maybe he needs anxiety meds, maybe he need counseling or therapy to overcome and recognize when he’s about to snap and have an episode. Both me and my boyfriend have anxiety and we try our best to not take it out on the kids but with kids your anxiety level rises so much. We do our best and communicate!
There’s always a way out call a abuse hotline because your husband is abusing you and your kids they will help you leave and get you on your feet with a job and apartment there’s no reason for you to stay !!!
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Anyone in this predicament that is “asking for advise” already knows the correct thing to do is divorce him and move on. They just can’t come to terms with it. They need validation. You can proceed with sending him papers now and in a year or so your on your own feet living happily. Or they can “put it off” for however long they want and continue to be miserable. Ultimately the choice is theirs. They are going to do what they want to do. Weather that be stay or leave. This seems harsh I’m sure, but people like this rarely change. And only will change with the next relationship. Because it was shown to them, they can’t treat people like garbage. But letting him get away with it for so long, it’s been allowed and has become the normal.
Start researching available help and try and get out, start making friends so maybe you can get some extra help. He will realize after your gone, that he made a big mistake. Don’t put up with verbal abuse are any physical abuse. They probably have a women’s shelter where your from, they usually have resources for abused women. Good luck to you
Been here… I luckily had family to help me… I finally got out and it was the best decision I ever made for myself and the kids!
U need to reach out for help as he may love his children but not a good father or he would not be doing this kinda stuff in front of the children or to the mother of his children
run don’t walk to the nearest woman shelter and start a plan about a job…it can be done…no one deserves this.
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Contact shelter tell them you in a abusive relationship and you need to get out dont give up till you get one, your kids are important here feel for you having no friends there to help you get out of this situation, he will continue to mental abusive till you have the courage to do something hope that you and your kids will get safe.
I would like to hear more of the story before passing judgment, but if a man is working 7 days a week he’s probably exhausted when he comes home? That’s no need for anger but how long can a person work 7 days a week for? Is there anybody that you can reach out to a local Women’s Center a church a neighbor, even an online Facebook group for this topic? I wish I could be of more help. After going back and reading your post a second time I’m thinking you should try to contact a local women’s shelter, to get some advice and possibly even to find some counseling for him and for you guys both.
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He is not a good father if they are seeing him treat you in this way. He has over burdened himself with work and seems to be bringing that anger home to you. Just because you are his wife gives him no right to use you as a verbal punching bag. Open your eyes for the sake of your babies!
There are women’s shelters that will help women in your spot. They will help you find a job and get on your feet with a ace to live and help with your kids…do not stay!! Get out you do have a choice you are worth more than that
He is doing 2 job 24/7 thats y he is so irritated all the time tell him to quit 1 job he’s doing harm to his health n ur relationship with him just sit n talk y he’s so agressive all the time… n how can u say he is a good father when he’s abusive infront of ur kids… n due to his jobs does he spend anytime with kids r take them out he’s just paying their expensis sis he’s deff not a good father
If he is good with your kids, you find a friend that will take you in and you get liberal visitation to see your children.
If you stay, you are not just losing your life, your children’s lives will be impacted severely.
Very minimally, start therapy for just you and work on yourself . Then, if you do decide or are ready to leave him, you will be less likely to be manipulated by him .
There are many many places in this country to help women in theese cases theres no reason to be with an abusive person the next thing will be him beating u . break the cycle if not for u for your kids
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If he loves his children he should respect their mother especially around the them I wish I had some advice but I don’t pray that God will change his heart
Look for local women shelters. A lot of us will tell you its only a matter if time before his anger turns to violence. That type of man never grows out of it. Do whats best for you and your kid. Its not that bad to be on your own. The first step is the hardest. But know you are not alone.
I just divorced my ex of 15 years and he did the same thing. He was very controlling as well. I couldn’t take it anymore. The judge ordered him to take anger classes and he still as not completed. He quit paying child support and ran off.
I was married to a man that was the same way for 21 years i have been on my own for 10 years the best thing that ever happened to me you can make it with your babies if you have to go back to your home town do what is best for you and your kids
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Have you suggested counseling? And I would start with building yourself as a person step one find a babysitter step two start with a simple job McDonald’s, grocery store, restaurant etc and then once you have income maybe try taking some online classes to get some sort of degree graduate get a job and keep going. It’s a little long process but you’ll be on your own you won’t have to depend on him for anything and you’ll feel really really good about yourself. I know from experience.
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Maybe he is working too much 2 jobs and 7 days a week.He has no time.e to relax.He probably needs you to go out to work and help him.Put the kids in day care and see how it goes.
Your husband is a little worked up ,why not talk it over with him to get a job so that you can be of little help to the family too
All work with no play makes Jack a dull boy.That man is frustrated & exhausted,probably from too much work.Tell him to consider a day off a week at least to relax and do something different outside work.If you’ve ever worked as a cashier before,that means you can get a job.Start applying for jobs or find something you can do to earn income.
They think if they just provide for the family and you its enough and that excuses any behaviour. I worked, mum and did all the cleaning and cooking but still got treated this way. They think you wont leave them… and that you will put up with it all but one day you will wake up and have had enough
I once left my baby at home with dad for 48 hours! I was in the hospital. The house was a mess! No clean laundry no clean baby. No cooked dinner or lunch and even pets haven’t been fed. He stunk and was wearing same clothes he had on when I left only now they were caked with old food and grew a 2 day beard ! But he kept the child alive- barely on junk food. He simply asked how do you do so much when you have to have her with you 24 hours a day. Waking up in the middle of the night and still keeping house and cooking more than not. He ran back to work because it was easier !
Stay at home moms who take care of babies and homes work much much harder than if they left home for a job= fact!
Get out check your community for a battered women and children home. Check with your local law enforcement for resources
He does…CUZ HE CAN .Sorry but ya get more bees with honey than vinegar
Write him a note. Let him tell at THAT!! No I’m just kidding…but a note is more of a permanent way to get a point across
And not to mention the STRESS…Look it up. It’s a killer in over 40 men
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In my opinion it’s only a matter of time before he starts hitting you and then even possibly the kids. An abuse is still abuse. Start a plan of escape. Save whatever money that you can and start babysitting other people’s kids for extra money to save. Anything to help get some money saved but don’t let him know about the money being saved.
Their are resources to help you find those things. I hope you find the help you need. Abuse is abuse whether its verbally or physically. Prayers.
I know this is not an excuse and you absolutely do not deserve to be verbally abused all the time but you said he works 2 jobs and 7 days a week, that would burn anybody out, have you thought about instead of him working 2 jobs you work an opposite shift, then maybe you both could get a day or even the weekend off, I know things are hard now than it was 35 years ago when I was raising my 3 little ones but that’s what my husband and I had to do and it gave me a break away from the kids and I got to have work friends instead of being around kids all day,it’s always hard when they are that young but he probably feels pressured with being the only one making the money, anyway, good luck with whatever you do 
Time to leave before he starts hitting you or the kids. He is abusing you and your kids already
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There should be places that can help with all of that… but sooner or later he will start getting physical. Its time to pack up.
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A good father doesn’t talk that way to other people and teach them it’s ok to treat people badly.
Have to spoken with his family members? It sounds like he would get mad about that. But some kind of intervention needs to take place. He needs therapy and maybe medication even. That is hard for men to admit that they have anger issues and anxiety. The two, including depression sometimes, go hand in hand. If he isn’t willing to at least try to make his mental health better for himself, the children and you, then it is pointless. Do not stay in this marriage. It will be terrifying. Doing this alone will be hard. But that doesn’t mean it is impossible. Look up local womens shelters. Look up people that are willing to help. There are plenty of people willing to do what they can in this situation. Plenty of women have been in this situation. Start looking for a part time job. Take small steps and find support. You are not alone.
Women’s crisis centers are everywhere!!! Domestic violence comes in many forms and that’s one of them!!! Be safe if you choose to leave!! Seek help from close friends/family and make a plan!!
See if there is a woman shelter near you. Are an abuse hotline they can get you help and out of there. Please get out before it cost you and your children their lives
Make a friend with whom you can talk and feel little better let your children to grow some day they will rule and he will be old to give order .One more thing if you cant make one friend invite his friend with his family and some day he will change .
He needs to realize words hurt and they are like bullets you cant take them back he d either change his ways or I’d leave him
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I mean I think I would go to the police with my baby and make him leave the house for a while…go on social assistance. I think he will abuse you and your child. At least see your options. I hope there is somewhere abused women can go. Hope you can do something.
He sounds really tired to me and you seem to be the punching bag which is also not fair. You both sound like you need a break, some sleep and find each other again.
Honestly, I really HATE TO SAY THIS, but IT WILL ONLY GET WORSE, take my words. I really feel BAD for you, if he hasn’t gotten physical yet from what you say, it’s only a matter of time. Have a family member went through this and ONLY GOT WORSE. Especially if he’s AMERICAN and you are not. The ONLY WAY TO FIGHT THIS, UNFORTUNATELY, IS TO TAKE KIDS AND LEAVE. CALL ABUSE HOTLINE ABOUT WOMAN CENTERS IN YOUR AREA. UNLESS HE FEELS YOU WILL STAND UP TO HIM, YOU WILL NEVER SEE A LASTING CHANGE. MAYBE A LITTLE WHILE, BUT NOT FOR LONG. GOOD LUCK
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He’s abusive and he most certainly CAN control himself. This man is not a good father.
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Your being abused. Your children are being abused. Emotional abuse scars are deep. Seek help immediately. Through a church, health department, abuse shelter!
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Seek counseling and employment. Counseling to try and help resolve the issue, and employment so you’re self sufficient and able to leave if/when it doesn’t.
Get away from him and raise your children!! Your children are going to be better off in the long run and so will you. Domestic violence comes in many forms. Don’t wait until it’s too late🙏
Does he acknowledge that his anger is a problem? If yes, would he be willing to try talking to a counselor or a member of the clergy?
Hes not a good dad if hes belittling you and cussing in frint of your kids. Hes damaging them lil brains. Find a womans shelter and get out while you can! Good luck
I am recently in the middle of the same thing he left but choose his drugs instead of us and it is scarey and it hirts so bad I feel so alone, and so broken but mine did the same to the kids as he did to me
Liberate yourself! Get a job, be financially independent, go to school…Don’t let your children think this is normal behavior, 1 step at a time, and you’ll see.
You need to get out in most cases it’s only a matter of time before he becomes physical with you and with you have no friends or family it could even up killing you and no one would know
contact the police- they have a list of shelters for women of domestic abuse (whether verbal or physical)
You and your children are better off with out him get child support and take one day at a time
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Your kids are gonna grow up doing same way then you will have three against you. Large him now save years is heartache
Abuse is abuse. Verbal or otherwise. If he wont seek help to fix his anger issues you are not obligated to subject yourself to that.
I dont think he is harsh with you bc he knows you can’t do anything about it, I think he is harsh with you bc he is abusive. Best wishes to you
Kick his ass and leave. Get the hell Way from him. What he treats you like is involving kids. I know it’s hard, but wake the hell up before it’s too late.
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Go back home. Atleast I would. Take your kids and run. He treats you awful cause he thinks you have no choice. You don’t want your kids to grow up thinking the abuse is OK and normal
Sounds to me like hes overwhelmed with not getting days off (even tho its his choice) he could be using work as a get a way bc lets be honest even if he had a day off hed have to “deal” with family life. Id try and talk to him good luck
What I would do is start doing the things he asked and start talking to him about getting a job than saving and leave play the part of a happy wife do everything he asks and more than dip
There should be resources available through your town and or county. Check for community services. They should be able to get you temporary shelter in a battered women’s home.
A good father starts with respecting your child’s mother. Emotional abuse can turn physical