So I went on my husbands tiktok and noticed he is following multiple pages of woman’s TikTok’s where they are showing their breast, butt or where they dancing in a proactive way with little clothes on, I also found a link to his Reddit where he had a bunch of p*orn on his search history. I feel hurt but don’t know if it’s normal for men and should I be ok with it as a wife
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband is following a bunch of women on tiktok
My husband is the same way
I don’t see anything wrong with either unless it’s actually impacting your relationship. There’s gotta be more to the story if you felt the need to go through his phone.
I can only imagine how I’d be judged if anyone saw some of my TikTok follows LOL
Yes, it’s common for men to view porn, but that doesn’t mean it’s healthy. Ultimately, you need to decide what you’re ok with and he needs to realize that these women are some man’s daughters. How would he feel if his daughters did this? Men view porn as a fantasy; the problem is that the women in porn are very real and usually exploited.
It’s common but that doesnt make it right. If something makes you uncomfortable the opinión of other people does not matter. Youre going to get lot of hateful comments from women who are used to being disrespected and cant tell the difference. Its better you go have a talk with your husband instead
I’d say unfortunately it’s probably normal for them, but that doesn’t make our feelings invalid. Still hurts to see. Still hurts to think about what goes through their mind. Just know you ARE enough& you ARE perfect.
Well you go right ahead and like those sexy mens tiktok pages 💁
I would lol i mean I AM!
If that’s something that bothers you then you should speak up and let it be known. If he changes cool, if not, you decide if it’s going to be a deal breaker for you.
There will be a mix of answers here. Your feelings are valid and you are allowed to feel betrayed. Its all about what your willing to accept.
It’s not ok if your not ok with it…
I think this is a case by case thing. Some women are okay with it, some aren’t. Your feelings are 100% valid even if other couples don’t agree. If you are uncomfortable with it and it goes against what the standard in your relationship is then it’s worth a talk with him about how you feel about it.
If it hurts you, makes you uncomfortable, or has you feeling any other negative way then no, it’s not ok. If you don’t care, then it’s fine. It’s subjective to your relationship. Don’t let others tell you how your relationship should be. If it bothers you, tell him. Maybe he doesn’t know. However if he keeps doing it, that’s an issue. Make sure his actions match his words. Respect each other’s boundaries and if that’s a line not to be crossed, tell him. If not, no biggie.
I see so many of these where women laugh react it like it’s not a big deal… it’s a big deal to some… if it’s not something you’re comfortable with your man doing thats your preference, if you could care less that your man watches porn that’s your preference too. If it makes you uncomfortable, talk to him about it… if he doesn’t stop he doesn’t respect your feelings or he has an addiction to it. Honesty, trust, and communication are foundations of healthy relationships.
No you should not be ok with it as a wife. That’s a form of cheating, especially watching porn. I’d definitely talk to him about it. It makes you feel like less of a woman to him because he is looking at other females.
If you’re not comfortable with it then talk to him and he should understand.
I watch porn as a woman… who am I to judge my husband for doing the same thing I only watch it when he’s at work or when he’s not available to give me the real thing, so I do it myself. I don’t see a problem with it on either end as long as there’s no real life cheating happening. Porn is just porn.
I’m one of those women who will talk with him and say I don’t mind unless it causes him to stop wanting me and that he’d be wise to learn new positions from it so that both are happier lol
So after crying, going into depression because of what I saw on Reddit what my husband did lol I decided to not get on his phone if I didn’t want to mess up my mood. But before I did all that I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine . Ohh and a huge big bottom lip early in morning. He Apologized swear he wasn’t going to do it again lol but he did it again. And this time I just laughed and said anything you can do I can do better
Its just pornographic content… Its not the end of the world n its not cheating LOL put out more maybe?
I don’t know why you are asking other people how you should feel. You have every right to feel however you feel about things.
Have a chat with your husband. You probably haven’t talked about boundaries and what will upset each other. Have that talk. Communication is the key to all healthy and happy relationships.
Everyone has their own boundaries in their relationship. If it bothers you, I would sit down and just talk to him.
It’s normal!! It’s up to you to decide if it’s worth setting a boundary
Are you serious bloody men
My BF searched fat juicy pu ssy
I look at him and asked it’s mine not fat and juicy enough for you
It kinda just ended that night lol
This is so dramatic. Get over it.
Talk to him. Tell him exactly how it makes you feel, and go from there. Good luck.
If it bothers you, speak up. That’s said, be able to articulate why it bothers you. When we say “It feels wrong”, men ignore it.
Alot of men watch porn. For some ppl it’s a religious issue for them. Some ppl few it as cheating. Some ppl have no issue with it. Where ever you fall in that is fine. So, talk to him about why he watches it.
In a few cases, the female simply hasn’t gotten fully comfortable with her body. So, if that’s any part of it, love yourself girl. There’s only 1 of you and no one can do you better.
If you dont feel comfortable with it tell him, In my case its pointless because he dosent give a shit, just pay attention that can soon turn into texting and other non sence
Social media has made it so easy for men (& women) to look at eye candy whenever they want. It’s just something that is becoming the “norm” So if following & watching is all he is doing, I wouldn’t be too concerned about it. If it is making u feel some type of way though, like insecure, it’s important to talk to him about it. Communication is what’s important. Also, there are some beautiful men on there girl, start following some eye candy of ur own maybe that’ll make him realize how u feel. Not saying to be petty, but maybe he really doesn’t think it’s a big deal. But do not invalidate ur feelings just b/c other women “don’t care” Talk to him about it
It’s not ok if you arent ok with it
Me and my man are okay , I watch porn. He does to, he just watches it to keep up with me, I actually coach the girls like they can hear me
Read the bible, the awnser is there.
He is married to you, why would he want to lust for other woman?
Express your feelings but also understand married doesn’t mean dead. Just because he’s on a diet, doesn’t mean he can’t at the menu.
He gave you his heart, not his eyes. Grow up.
So I’m assuming you don’t watch p*rn
Maybe he wants you to give him anal I’d buy a strap on and give him what he truly wants… problem solved
Sounds like my husband…
Damn reddit got porn now too?
Trust me all men masturbate they think abt sex a lot more often than women, in my opinion if there only looking what does it hurt?? I like to look at men doesn’t mean I’m going to do anything with them x
Have you watched magic mike? Same thing… girl don’t go looking if you don’t wanna end up mad lol if he’s not out doing anything behind your back ,lay off
No that’s ridiculous.
pos. I’m so sorry your going through this.
Don’t let any of this nasty comments get to you.
YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID NO MATTER WHAT .
Is he communicating to women? Asking to meet up? Or do other things?
To all the girls saying “oh grow up blah blah blah” it’s more the fact that he is getting hard and fantasies about other women. Fun fact watching p0rñ ruins ur brain it’s the leading cause in divorces too and it can be addictive
But y’all stay and try to convince yourself that ur man loves you lmaoo
all these insecure people. Y’all are the same ones that say it’s weird for friends to say I love you
If it makes you uncomfortable then it is not okay. When someone respects their partner they don’t try to cross their comfort zones for selfishness. If it’s okay for someone else’s relationship that’s their business, but that’s them. If it bothers you and he doesn’t know then sit down and discuss it with him and tell him that it upsets you, and if he is doing this behind your back knowing how you feel then that’s the start of sneaky red flags and you definitely need to say something.
Maybe he wont care what you think and tell you its art in think we as women just need to get used to the thought that many times men dont think they same way as us and dont think its hurting anyone
Ex husband had a porn addiction and felt the need to reach out to women on all platforms knowing that I wasn’t ok with it. I wasn’t enough for him. It is a huge problem with society today.
He’s just looking. He’s a man and o. TikTok, likely to show up.
Ask him about it without being confrontational. Maybe make your sexlife more interesting or there at all. Men are more visual & usually more curious. If I saw it on my husbands social media crap I’d just ask him about it
To the people saying to grow up or get over it blahblah. No. Full stop. You’re allowed to have boundaries and when you express those boundaries or feelings they shouldn’t be mocked or avoided.
If you are bothered by it then you and your husband need to talk about it and figure out a boundary. He needs to respect you as his wife and I think we need to stop just letting nem get away with things bc “that’s just how they are”
F that! Obviously he needs others to make him happy. So ridiculous
I don’t mind my man looking as long as he stays devoted to me and loyal to our relationship, then no problem. 🤷🏾♀
I follow those amazing woman as well! So beautiful
Porn deffo not but as for following women on social media most men do this, ad long ad he isnt messaging them to meet up or flirt that different
This would bother me, too. But my TT is far scarier …I probably have every divorce lawyer in my state on my feed.
Do not I repeat DO NOT ALLOW THIS BEHAVIOR TO CONTINUE
- it’s absolutely perversion … disrespectful and DISGUSTING!
Move on - he’s nothing but a waste of space … PORN ADDICTION IS NOT NOW NOR HAS IT EVER BEEN NORMAL
I think it’s ok to watch porn. I don’t see a problem with that but if he’s hiding it is where it gets me questioning things
I hate porn too… but even I can admit men tend to need visual, not all the time but men seem to do it more when they’re not getting “it” enough. I compromise with my boyfriend … I try to be his porn star whenever needed lmao I have fun with him. Porn makes me uncomfortable but I’ve watched parody porn with him where it’s funny like Star Wars porn … he’s got eyes he’s gonna check out women just like I’ll check out men but talking to them is a big no no! As long as he’s not crossing lines no harm done. Just talk to him… spice it up some more maybe you both just need to be more intimate.
Honestly, it’s absolutely okay for you to have any feelings about it that you have. Though I don’t think it’s that abnormal for a lot of men. Have a talk with him in a calm and respectful way where you discuss your feelings and listen when he explains his. Communication is super important.
I think society has deemed this “normal” which I feel is the issue. If you are not ok with it, that’s perfectly ok, but talk to him about it. My husband was doing the same thing, he no longer has TikTok Figure out what you are ok with, and let him know. None of us can tell you what is right or wrong or normal. But if you are uncomfortable with it, then it’s a problem. Talk to him, xplain it hurts you and makes you feel disrespected.
If you even have to ask, I disagree with all these women that are telling you its ok. If their all okay with you sharing your husband , what does that say about them. SMH
I feel like this is the new norm. Men just can’t be satisfied with one woman.
Ps some of y’all comments did not pass the vibe check.
They all do it no matter age race or creed. Not okay they just cant help themselves. Sorry voice it all day long if your not okay with it.
Totally 100% wrong. You are valid in your feelings. I’m very sorry
NO. If you don’t feel good about it, you shouldn’t feel okay with it. It’s wrong. Men like this shouldn’t be in relationships. They can’t handle loyalty.
Who cares they are online. Seems it says more about ur insecurities that what he is actually following but if u have an issue with it speak to him about it
Don’t let people tell you “that’s just a man”. No, if it’s a deal breaker or negativity effects you then it’s not okay. If he chooses porn over you then that’s a huge red flag.
If it makes you feel uncomfortable and insecure then its a conversation you and your husband has to have. No one here can help you but if you want to know if your feelings are validated then yes they’re.
It’s up to you and whatever you’re comfortable with. No ifs, ands, or buts.
I would definitely bring it up and let him know it bothers you. Don’t listen to a word on others. What works for you may not work for others and vice versa. It’s YOUR life and YOUR marriage
Don’t except this as the new norm pornography and even stuff like this is way more accessible than it ever was
My tt is full of cops, firefighters, and political. I watch tiddies and bootay with my husband. IDC if he watches porn because I do too. It’s all about trust
Following provocative pages- normal.
Searching AND watching porn- normal
But there is no where that says you NEED to be okay with it. If it bothers you, talk to him. Let him know. Then you know if he respects you or not.
He cant try to change whats bothering you IF you dont talk to him
Yeah just post the same kind of content hun x
Omg. All you high and mighty women… Gimme a break. It’s not Onlyfans. He’s getting off and looking at Tiktok. If you have that big of an issue, get a divorce, go to church and find a guy that hides it better…
Question? How would he feel if it was you doing it?
It is never ok to indulge in any extra marital affairs which includes looking at any other woman in a sexual way period. Come on haters waiting for your sick stupid responses
If you aren’t comfortable with it it’s not ok!
Would he find it appropriate to behave in the manor of the females he’s seeking online? Probably not.
Most men will have you think it’s your own insecurities when not wanting them to watch certain types of sexualized content of other women but would be pissed if you yourself were presenting yourself online to other men as the women your man is seeking out & watching.
Nope, this is not ok. And if you don’t feel good about it, say something to your husband. Secrets can kill a marriage.
Bring it up.
“Babe, I feel a little left out. You watch heaps better p#rn than I do judging by your search history. Can we watch together next time?”
Usually freaks them out so much they stop
… so none of yall watch porn?
Please read. Ive been researching and studying this after my own experience.
This is a boundary that needs to be spoken about and agreed upon. I feel as is he’s doing nothing wrong. If you feel otherwise you should tell him. It’s your relationship and it’s up to you to decide what’s healthy and what isn’t.
The amount of laughing reacts disgusts me a little bit - if you’re okay with your partner browsing and getting his eye full, that’s good on you and your relationship, but I don’t understand why there is any humor in another woman’s feelings of hurt and being disrespected. Not all women are comfortable with it and there isn’t a problem with that, and it doesn’t always boil down to insecurities and self esteem.
OP: If you haven’t already, you need to sit down and talk with him - you are validated in your feelings. Communication is key. If he simply brushes it off as no problem or issue, or says he will stop but continues, he straight up does not take your feelings (and thoughts) to heart and does not respect you and your boundaries.
Post the same content he follows (of yourself looking sexy) then ask if he likes it
Porn is normal. Girls need to stop having a problem with that. Y’all get yourself off with power tools and got a problem with videos?
All these women saying “every man does it” have obviously never been with a real 100% faithful man. If you voice it makes you uncomfortable, he will stop, the FIRST time you bring it up, if he respects you. That’s what I did, in every relationship, and I’m proud to say the one I’m with now hasn’t even eyed another woman in 3 years. And our sex life is very lively and healthy, and we’re both very happy. Some of these women may see my comment and say I’m naive and he just knows how to hide it now, but I assure you I know him best and he doesn’t hide anything. Open and honest with all your feelings.
Honestly. If they aren’t directly reaching out to the women he’s probably just using it as porn, its a personal preference but if it bothers you communicate it with him tho. Personally idc about porn, sometimes I like my own “me time” so I would be a hypocrite to be bothered if my partner does the same. That being said. If he’s going out of his way to reach out trying to physically hook up with anyone. Screw that! My partner knows I pay of a couple friends only fans just to support them, but he also knows I don’t go out of my way talking to them flirting or trying to hook up. And he’s fine with it, just like he’s subed to one of his friends
My boyfriend was the same way. I talked to him about it but we got into a huge argument. Then he apologized and understood where I was coming from. Haven’t seen anything else but that doesn’t mean he isn’t being slick about it. I make sure to look up guys on tik tok and play them right in front of him. Lol He be feeling some type of way. I had to give him a taste of his own medicine.
Boundaries are different for each relationship. If you’re not comfortable, it’s not acceptable, and vice versa.
imagine being so insecure you want control something your partner does privately and in solitude. 1. If they’re not actively engaged with the other person it’s a fantasy which is going to happen either with or with out your knowledge 2. These women 99% dgaf about your dude, don’t be threatened 3. You have a right to feel how you feel but if ask myself if it had to with my own insecurities or control issues first 4. Unless he’s spending y’all’s money on this then maybe I’d change my opinion
Think of it this way, how would he act if you did all of that? How he reacts is your answer I promise
That sounds normal for every man.
Regardless of what your feelings are on the issue, it is a sin. Satan has taken over his heart.
It’s normal for pigs. Not men who respect their wife.
I don’t think proactive means
what you think it means.
Either you’re open to being ok with it or you aren’t. You can’t use our opinions to tell you how to feel. Are you upset? Can you get over it? Is it a hard limit? Are there circumstances under which it does or doesn’t bother you? Your opinion is the only one that matters.
Then once you decide how you feel about it then you move forward with talking to him or leaving him alone.
Me personally if he’s looking and not making contact for conversation or paying for anything. As long as your sex life is good you are satisfied then I don’t see a problem. But he’s probably doing it cause he needs more. Take sexy pictures for him do some exploring in the bedroom try new things.
Its ur feelings, he should respect them if he loves you. Its definitely not ok if you don’t like it. I wouldn’t accept it either. Some women dont care some women do and every one has a right to their feelings about it. You need to talk to him, tell him how you feel about it and see how he responds. If he is defensive and dismissive of ur feelings and keeps doing it, that tells you how much respect and love he has for you. Don’t let others try to tell you its ok, dont worry about, its normal etc. You hv a right to your feelings as they do. F that though, you deserve better, you tell him too
What’s the big deal? I’d watch it with him!