My Husband Is Mad I Don't Want My Mother-in-Law in the Delivery Room When I Give Birth: Advice?

YOU are the one in pain and you should be as comfortable as possible! Period. I wouldn’t keep arguing with him about it it stressing it either. You gotta stay healthy.

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For our first I had my husband mom and MIL. I Love them all but with the nurses it was just to many people. By the time we had our second and third it was just my husband and I and I have to say I loved it a lot more. Mom and MIL stayed with the other kid(s) during my second and third delivery and brought them in within minutes.

Keep the special time for you and your husband only keep everyone else out

Interesting, Mary asked me to be there for you and Ashley so I said OK, her Mom could not be there until after. And I had to fly in from Las Vegas to do it. As a nurse I guess I see birth as a beautiful, natural process, one vagina is the same as the next but if you have privacy concerns they should be respected. And not all mother in laws are the same!!!

You left your mother and father to be with him he left his mother and father to be with you so why would you have anyone else in the room with you you’ve made that covenant together nothing else matters

You choose. You need to feel comfortable, safe and empowered. She does not need to be there, and he needs to respect that. It’s not even a discussion that needs to be talked about, it’s YOUR choice.

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My hubby tried that with my first. I wanted him, my mom, and my sister. He wanted his mom in there too. I said hell to the no. I’m the one giving birth. There is no way in hell I would have been comfortable having her in the room. It was bad enough he allowed them all (5) to come to the hospital the day after to see the baby. I was still so vulnerable and not ready for visitors. I broke down and cried when they left because it was just too much. He felt so bad for saying they could come knowing I wasn’t up for visitors. I’m currently pregnant with my second, and am kinda happy that with COVID, no visitors will be allowed. Don’t need that again!

Stick to your wants and don’t wants. It’s your main event!

Frankly your husband is being a jerk, you will be miserable enough while in labor it is about your comfort. Maybe if you just tell him you are not comfortable with the idea of your mother in law in the room while you deliver, that you want your mother and sister because of the close bond, if he insists on his mother being there then maybe let her be in the room instead of him. Also if he wants to be a jerk about it you don’t have to let him in the room either.

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I see this everywhere. The answer is and was always “NO” For you. No other drama needed. Let them hissy fit their way into eternity. NO means NO.

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I gave birth in June and was only allowed one person because of Covid, which was my boyfriend of course. If I could’ve had another person, I would have wanted his mom as well. My boyfriend was absolutely amazing during labor, but having someone else who went through what I was going through would have been amazing to me. I would’ve had her hold my hand while pushing my son out, but I did want her in the room and was sad she couldn’t be. It’s your decision though and your husband should respect it.

You do whatever you want, your husband can have the next baby and he can have anyone he wants in his birthing room…

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Tell him sure… she can take his spot. Lol

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Tell his ass he can go wait in the waiting room with his mama if he wants to be with her so damn bad :woman_shrugging:

Hahaa me either. I don’t care. I’m going to be in pain and I only want my husband and if he don’t like it we will talk about it after.

Only one person outside of the mother should have any grounds to assert their presence in that room, and it’s the father who put the baby there and was there the whole pregnancy. Anybody else is just privileged to be in the hospital to visit.

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Not his place or her place to say. Your vagina, your rules. Boundaries!

Hell no. You will be extremely vulnerable with all sorts of parts of you exposed. If you aren’t comfortable with her being there, she shouldn’t be there. A stressed mother makes delivery more complicated than necessary, and can actually threaten you or your baby’s health.

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Hold your ground, no means no. That’s a very personal moment with all of your business out there. I wouldn’t be comfortable having my MIL seeing me naked and screaming. Ask him if he would feel comfortable having his MIL seeing him naked and vulnerable

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Tell her to fuck right off.

U shouldn’t have anyone but ur husband in there.

Fuck that! Its you that should be the one to decide! Would they even allow all those people in during covid?? I’m so sorry you’re going through this. He should be more understanding. Love my mother in law, but I don’t want her seeing my hoo ha :joy:

We compromised on the birth of our oldest and family I didn’t want in the room stood behind the curtain during the delivery and still got to experience the excitement and babies first cry. Once she was out all eyes went to her and off me so no harm and I wasn’t left feeling uncomfortable. After the first I didn’t care who was in the room. :rofl:

Why should an inlaw get to see you in your most private time?

Just dont have anyone .
Just have yourself and husband .
And end the drama .

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Do what u want n comfortable for u whenever u give birth, if u don’t want ur mil in there u don’t gotta have her in there :speaking_head: it’s ur bodu, it’s ur baby, it’s ur special moment, it’s ur choice of who u want or don’t want in there :woman_shrugging:t3::speaking_head:

:rofl: why not. No really it’s a moment to remembered! I let my mom, his mom, and a huge group of student doctors and nurses. I really did. I figured we were all learning and i will be remembered as the first birth the saw. My daughter will be remembered as the first baby they helped bring into the world. The nurse that stitched me up will always remember saying Oops is so not cool to say out loud… and whole group of us will remember that moment when one lady said yes to the awkward question of can I be there. She’s now 17 years old and I remember every moment of her birth and laugh as if the comments and silliness just happened. Great day. Let her in and share the moment. It’s a blessed day add someone else who might ask. Why not? It’s such a beautiful thing… giving life and sharing joy. :smiling_face:

You are giving birth, you get to decide who you want there to support you. when he has the baby, he can decide who is there for him

Your vagina, your choice.

I didn’t want anyone in there to witness all that :wink:

Delivery Nurses told my daughter they would be the bad guys and kick out anyone who new mom didn’t want there

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Why do you need anyone but your husband in the room? Everyone come in to see the baby after he/she all cleaned and You are all cleaned, and stitched up.

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I was forced to have my mother-in-law in the room, it was/is my biggest regret.

With my first 2 we were only allowed 2 in the room, their dad and my mother. Now with Covid we have been told it will only be the father and I. I would double check with the hospital to make sure you are still able to have more than one person in the room and when you get there talk to a nurse about you not wanting her in the room, usually they will play the bad guy. This is not their moment this is about you and you bringing your child into the world, it can be uncomfortable and embarrassing no need to add more stress on you. I’m feisty and would tell him its my choice and if he’s really going to make me feel bad than he can wait in the waiting room with her.

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Do what’s best for you :heart:

with my oldest it was my mom and her dad when i was with at time. then my younger ones i only had there dad with me .

I tell him if it bothers him that much then he doesn’t need to be there. You should feel comfortable when you’re giving birth

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Say no and if he don’t like it well he’ll be out the bloody room n all.

I can totally understand why you need your family. Birth is a very special thing. Its your day and you should have people around you that truely love you. Should always be the mothers decision. Your husband has to realize that if your not comfortable with her there she shouldnt be there. You cant get this beautiful time of a first child again. The mil needs to be understanding not selfish.

Fuck him he ain’t giving birth … It’s about being there for you not showing face for his mother … If you do it for him, you will live in resentment… you don’t need those sorts of emotions when your giving birth and caring for a new born … Congratulations all the best… You got this queen

You get to choose. He can make an input, but it’s your body that will be on show so you make the final call. Tell him if he doesn’t like it, he doesn’t have to be in the room either. The nurses/doctors will show him the door. They’re there to make YOU and the baby comfortable…no one else.

Just have ur self and hubby the he can’t moan…if u want ur mother and sister in with u aswell then its ur choice what ever keeps u calm and happy during birth…tho I think just u and hubby and maybe ur mother, I had my mum and farther of my son with me, my mum was my rock, the baby dad was ok but my mother understood everything better and kept me going tbh…what ever makes u happy, yes u and hubby are in this together but its you giving birth, ur body, giving birth can be stressful, u need positivity and happiness around you…hope u come up with a solution

Tell him to piss off your the one on display do what u want

You are having this baby you have more rights right now what you say goes, it is up to YOU who’s in YOUR birth team, me I wouldn’t have gone for it nor would I now. Xx :kissing_closed_eyes:

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while I agree that this is a conversation this is medical situation and not an all or none . This is :100: about her comfort because without that the birth is more difficult period. If it was who is invited to the be in the room after the birth I’d say I completely agree with the compromise .I personally would just say yes she can come in then tell my nurse to start kicking people out :blush:

Ask him to sit spread eagle in front of your parents first, then you can have a reassessment if needed. I’m guessing it won’t be needed :joy:

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He doesn’t get to decide. Period.

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These are not my own words, but this is the best advice I’ve ever found on the subject: “Tell your husband that before you’ll allow his mother in the room to labor and delivery, he must stand naked and also produce a bowel movement in front of your parents. He must remain naked, spread eagle for at least 12 hours. If he accepts this challenge, allow his mother”. Have fun!

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Hugs. He probably looks at it like your mom is gonna be there so his should be allowed. And you picked your sister instead which honestly makes it look like your singling her out. If you only picked your sister. That would be different. Hugs. No easy answer to this. No matter what joe someone is gonna feel burned. I just hope your mom won’t throw it in her face that as a Grama she got to see the baby first. That will cause stress and whether you like it or not you choose him as a father :woman_shrugging:. Hugs. Hope you can work this out without causing bad juju

Frankly, whoever’s vagina is on display should get to pick. If he was having a medical procedure done on his private parts, he should pick who gets to be there for the show.

That’s your choice your husband should be on your side.

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What you want is the only thing that matters in this situation. It’s your body going through labor and being exposed to people in the room. It’s you who is going to be both physically and emotionally vulnerable. That means it’s you who gets to make the decision.

You are the one giving birth, it is your choice who is in the room. You should be as comfortable as possible and that is what everyone should focus on.

Your birth your choice

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Have the nurse just tell him that only one support person is allowed due to COVID-19 :woman_shrugging:t3: I went through that with my ex and he tried to give me a shit. I told him to shut it or he wouldn’t be in the room either and that his mother wasn’t my mother and had no right to see my lady parts. He stopped bugging me :joy:

Ask him if he wants to be spread eagle with your mom, and his mom in the room and see what he says :woman_shrugging:t3: forget that noise!

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I felt this way at first, (even though I love my mother in law dearly and she’s amazing) but then I was so scared I let her be there. It ended up being my husband, her, and my mom

If your uncomfortable with her then it’s your decision. At the end if the day you’re the one doing all the work and you need what’s best for you, if they can’t understand too bad

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Fk that btch and her controlling dusty ass son :joy::joy: it’s YOUR RIGHT to deny ANYBODY. I’d be telling my husband he’s on thin ice for being in the room too. Unbelievable.

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Just have your mum with you, he can wait outside with his mother if that’s how he wants to carry on, don’t let him dictate to you, your the one that is having the baby.

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He can actually suck my big toe… you’re about to eject a whole human out of you. It’s going to be an emotional and uncomfortable situation already. You do not need the added stress of someone you’re not comfortable with… so he can get on board or not be in the room :woman_shrugging:t2:

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I mean…in the end its whatever you want to be comfortable. When I was in labor for each of my kids I thought it hurt so bad I wouldn’t have cared if Jesus or Santa was in there while it was going on. I only cared that the Dr was there bc I wanted him to get the baby out! I hope you end up having a happy and stress-free labor and delivery.

My daughters mother in law, her husband and I were the three in the room. Grandmas are very special and I agree with your husband. Your sister will have plenty more opportunities.

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When he pushes something the size of a watermelon out of a space the size of a lemon then he can make decisions. The last thing you want while you’re in labor is one more thing to make you uncomfortable

why do women think they get cboices to everthing this is part of the problem

I kinda felt the same in a way as I didn’t want her to see my bits :joy: but to be honest … I needed my mum and partner for support. But what about him? It’s a big day for the BOTH of you, he may need support from his mum too. We had both our mums in the room and it was fine. Nothing was awkward, and it was kinda nice having them there :heart:

Tell him to video it or trade places with her.

Its your baby! You deside!

Maybe just have you and him? It’s a beautiful bonding experience when it’s just mom and dad

When u are giving birth nobody matters but u and that precious little life u are bringing into the world. Do what makes u comfortable.

Don’t let her in. Who cares what he thinks. He isn’t giving birth and being exposed in the most vulnerable and beautiful moments in your lives. Her energy will be in the room and it makes you uncomfortable. I didn’t let mine in either. I regret letting her in just after. She ruined the moment. I was glad when she left.

Do not let anyone in the room that you aren’t comfortable with. They can either stay mad and not be apart of your babies life or get over it. This is your baby, your body, and your experience.

If you don’t want her there ,stand your ground ,you are one bringing your baby into this world and it’s your choice no one else’s no matter who it upsets

We didn’t allow either parent in there during our birth. It is a very sentimental and special moment… a funny way is was worded to me is if they weren’t in the room when you made the baby, then they didn’t need to be in the room when you have the baby. But i definitely don’t think it’s fair to allow one grandmother in, but not another. But that’s my opinion… honestly you are the mom and you have the right to whoever you want in there.

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It’s your decision it’s a very special event though y’all may become closer for it she may have more respect for you because of it and it’s a very special to get to watch someone give birth also she doesn’t have to see everything she could stand behind and just be in the room.

Congratulations and good luck on your decision

My mother in law a couple sister in laws and my dad all waited in the waiting room. I flat out told the nurses i only wanted my husband and my mom with me. You’re the patient it’s your call.

Yeah you’re the one giving birth but it’s not just your child. He has every right to be upset if you’re going to allow your mom and not his. It’s a big thing for both of you. It’s going to be stressful for him too. You’re allowing 2 members of your family in the room and telling him hes not allowed to have any for the birth of a child that is also his. Reverse the rules and consider how youd feel in that situation. I personally feel that if both of babies families cant be included then it should just be mom and dad. We really need to quit excluding dads feelings from these situations. He may not be giving birth to the baby but it’s still a very stressful situation for him as well.

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Tell him that this is a time where u need your family you’re going to be going through alot and you need to be surrounded by your support team

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Rather have both mothers in the waiting room and after the baby is born let both grandmothers see baby at the same time. This way will save you much grief in the future

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Tell him to grow up ! Getting mad because u don’t feel comfortable is a waste and sadly inappropriate to be so inconsiderate to the fact you and the baby are all that matters and the less stress the better for you both

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The people who are in the room with you are supposed to serve as your support persons. They have a job to do which includes being there for your needs. You get to choose those people, not anybody else. It’s not a damn viewing gallery. Your husband needs to understand that this is not about his mom’s feelings but yours, and while you’re giving birth your feelings are the ones that matter. Let his mom do something special for the baby right after, or give her the privilege of being the first grandma to babysit, or something like that to appease her. She just doesn’t want to feel left out.

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I honestly let them in my room up til time to push ect then I kicked everyone out til after everything was done.
Also another pregnancy and my first I had way to many in the room, my drs asked if I wanted them to leave. I told them all to stay “even preteens and teenagers” I told the drs no they can stay and maybe they won’t feel obligated to pushing out a child as a teen.

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I have my mom and 3 sisters… My husband has his mom dad and a sister… When I had our kids I told him to be fair no one but him will be in the room for their births… Our families were there before it was time to push and I had the nurses send them out when it was time… They came back in after my boys were born… For my oldest son my sister and his father were there… I learned from that… Giving birth is a special moment for you and dad… You’ll be agitated and tired and won’t want a bunch of people around you… I’d say no one else but your husband so it’s fair… Your mom and sister and his mom can come see baby later… These times really arent the times you want a bunch of people in your birthing room…

The Birth is about YOU. YOU are having a baby. YOU need the support. YOU need to feel comfortable. It’s PROVEN in nature that a mother uncomfortable will have problems in birth. YOU need whoever YOU want there. This is NOT about wanting grandmothers. This is about YOU NEEDING YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR SISTER for SUPPORT for YOU. Nothing else matters. This is about YOU because this is undoubtedly one of the HARDEST things you will EVER do.
Stick your ground and explain this to him.
This is YOUR BIRTH.

Honestly if my husband was being so inconsiderate of my feeling towards the matter, id tell him he could wait in the waiting room with his mother. Just have her sister and mom present, because obviously those are the 2 people who make you feel comfortable. Theres no reason to be stressed and worried about what someones thinking or saying of the matter when your the one pushing a baby out. Its a hard and very taxing job. You dont need to please anyone but yourself.

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Tell her to have another of her own if she wants to witness it so bad. Or charge an insane admission fee.

PS… husband sounds like a dick and probably got it from his mother.

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With COVID I could ONLY have my husband. I was so bummed… I could have let him and my mom or my MIL switch places on and off but instead we just told them we could only have the one visitor… it ended up the best and most Non stressful birth yet!

Tell him as soon as he gets fully naked and craps in front of YOUR mom, then you’ll be willing to consider HIS mom watching you give birth. He should be supportive of YOU! He isn’t giving birth - you are. Who HE wants there doesn’t matter.

ETA: I’ve delivered 4 children and the only person in the room during my delivery (other than medical staff) was the only person in the room when they were conceived. IDK why people have made childbirth a spectator sport. That’s a no for me. But you have to do what you’re comfortable with. Not what he’s comfortable with.

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Tell him when he’s in your position and has to give birth to a baby, then he can decide who’s in the room.

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You need your support team in a time where you will be vulnerable and in need of extra support!!! If that includes your mom and sister go for it.

My MIL was not present for mine. It was my mom and grandmother and my significant other who was no help at all. Which is why you NEED that support team!

Don’t worry, with COVID you’ll be lucky to even be able to have your husband in the room. If for some reason that changes, tell him when he carries a baby for 9 months he can decide who gets to watch it exit his body. It is absolutely not the time to worry about hurt feelings.

Tell him no. And tell him to tell her too…

Hell to the nah. Do what you want. When he pushes a baby out of his vagina he can decide who’s in there :woman_shrugging:t2:

Ask her I didn’t not want to be them room for the same reason .

make him an offer: when he’s the one giving birth, he gets to choose who is in the room

conversely, you get to be the one who chooses who gets to see his penis when he is in pain. Since anyone in the room is going to see your vagina. and your blood.

if he wants to choose who gets to see you when you are in pain, half-naked, and traumatized, then you get to choose who gets to see him naked and in any condition you choose.

Sounds like maybe you should just have your husband so no one can bitch or just your mom because your husband sounds selfish af . He wouldn’t want your mom all up in his dick while he gets a vasectomy so he needs to stfu

Some people need to read properly… This lady has never been comfortable around her mother in law so that means their relationship is not good!! Stop with the what ifs how comes and why nots and read!!! She was never comfortable around her mother in law and she certainly doesn’t want to feel that during a time of vulnerability which makes sense. Covid or no covid she should have who she needs in the delivery room. If y’all have great relationships with your mothers in law good for you then have her in the delivery room but do not judge someone else coz u are not in their situation. Your husband needs to understand the logic in this… Explain it to him and also understand that giving birth is the most precious experience and u can’t let someone else take that away emotionally. As for mother in law, she might be disappointed but you will need to build your relationship with her sooner than later. But for now focus on you and your bundle joy, love and light to you :blue_heart::pray:

I’m surprised they are still allowing 3 people. Most hospitals have it limited to 1 because of the COVID.

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It’s your lady parts on full display. She can be out of the room and once you legs are cleaned and closed and down she can come in.

Do like me. No moms. Just husband.

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