In my opinion you are giving birth it should be you deciding who can and cannot be in room! You need to be comfortable with who you have in!!
Just have your hubby in there. I can see his point. You get your mum and sister and he gets no one so to speak.
It is your choice obviously. But have a chat with hubby
If you donât feel comfortable having her there then DONâT!!!
Its about your comfort and grandparents shouldnât expect to be the extra person. I am the grandmother and have been in the room and asked to wait to come visit until the granddaughter was released from the hospital. Its not your husband exposing everything in that room. Tell him itâs not a we situation itâs a me situation and if he doesnât like it he can sit in the waiting room with everyone else and it will be just your mom and sister.
Let them be âthereâ in the waiting room. I felt the same but my husband respected my wishes. I was induced so she was able to visit till time to push then I just had the nurse kick her out. (Politely) I informed them as soon as I was in my room that I only wanted me and my husband in there.
Tell him to spread eagle in from of your mother for a few hours or more and if hes comfortable with that then you will
I could of went either way with my mom being there with me or not. I decided for it to be just my husband and I cause I didnât want his mother there . Same thing I donât like when Iâm vulnerable and she can be pushy so I opted for no one⌠aside from the two of us
Heâs not the one screaming, crying, tearing apart, shitting yourself, pissing, vomitting and pushing out a nine pound human. His mom can wait in the lobby
You could tell him if he wants her there when he gets a vasectomy, you might think about it. Drag it out if he says yes he would, and then when the day comes tell him my vagina and I donât want her to see it.
If your relationship isnât there as in laws your husband should understand⌠Or maybe you just need to tell him that it makes you uncomfortable and heâll get it also her as a woman should understand and respect your decision and not hold resentment
With my first I had my mom and so called best friend
2nd only hubby but I also had c-section
Your the one giving birth. Itâs your body and you the one whoâs vulnerable. So I believe its up to you.
Honestly, Iâd kick hin out too. They can keep each other company in the waiting room.
At my last 2 kidsâ birth I told everyone they could come the next day when i was ready to deal with people. Just me, daddy and the baby on the first day. Non-Negotiable.
I believe I would reconsider for my husbandâs sakeâŚand I believe you would find that it would work its self right out, you sound like a considerate young womanâŚsheâs anxious for her grandchild, also.
You never knowâŚshe might be very supportive now and when you need someone to help out, on down the roadâŚGod bless you, with your decision.
YOU are giving birth, so Itâs your decision! Just make sure you even want your mom and sister there. You may think that now, but in my experience, itâs much more intimate and relaxing without others.
Itâs up to you not him
Where do u guys live id a baby in July n dad was bearly allowed in 4 the birth and i work in the Maternity hospital i had my baby in! Even before Covid its only birthing partner allowed in the labour ward with you ???
I made it clear from the beginning of my pregnancy that I only wanted my husband
When he pushes out the child he can make the decision to who is in the room. You want family support not people you are not comfortable with.
Ask him if he was having surgery on his genitals if he would want your mom there to see everything.
Your choice mom!
If you are blessed to have that amount of people in the room with you during birth then you decide who you want and feel the most comfortable with there are some people giving birth with nobody by their side he should understand that and by the time the baby is here they will all be happy
She wasnât there in the making of the baby. She can wait. It was just me and my husband.
Omg Iâd of told my husband he can wait in the lobby if he wants his mom there. I donât want either my mom or my mother in law in the room with me, just my husband. Thankfully mine agrees with just him and me being there.
In that case it would just be the sister lol
Itâs your body and due to covid, Iâm sure only one is allowed as of now
She can be there when he gives birth
Just tell your doctor the situation and the doctor will take care of it.
But me personally, Iâd just be like âthis is an intimate moment for you and me and Iâd like to enjoy it with just you. Sheâs more than welcome to stay and hang out then come back in after the deliveryâ
Thanks to covid here, only mom and dad are allowed in. No visitors even.
She probably wonât be allowed anyways due to corona virus restrictions.
Itâs not his choice itâs yours who you want in the room next to you
Yes, please talk to your nurse. I had to do that for my daughter because there were sooo many people in the room that thought was going to stay for the birth⌠didnât happen⌠please donât let someone in that you are not comfortable with⌠dad should understand that. If not let the nurse take care of itâŚ
Youâre husband can get over it. Itâs your body, your choice. Not his. Period.
I feel like if you let your mother be there for the birth its only fair to have his mom. Because they will both be grandmas. And In my opinion I think its selfish to not let your husband have a say . Itâs his child too. And you would not be bringing your beautiful creation into this world without him.
Is it both Grandmotherâs first grandchild?
Oh hell would freeze over before I would let my mother in law be in the same room as me without me giving birth soâŚshe absolutely does not need to be in the room while you are giving birth. And depends where you liveâŚmy girlfriend is having a baby tomorrow⌠covid restrictions barely let the father in the same roomđ¤Śââď¸
Ur body, ur decision!!!
Oh hell no! I only wanted my mom and man in the roomâŚwasnt anything against my mother in law, but I didnât want her seeing me and all my body parts. She didnt make a big deal about it and neither did my manâŚI did however try to make her feel includedâŚlike instead of my man going to that last appointment, I brought her instead. When it comes to the situation, if your mother in law is hurt by it, that matters more than your man making a big fussâŚif shes fine with waiting till the baby is there then he can deal with it!
My sisnlaw was determined to be in the room along with my mnlaw but I didnât mind as long as my husband was there and besides I was too busy focusing on the arrival of my first child and his miracle of birth and is health nothing else mattered
Childbirth can be stressful enough already. You choose who is there, not him. And btw no one has a right to be in there with you except the medical staff. Everyone else is an option. And if he canât get that tell him to lay down on a table naked in front of your mom/dad and take a nice big crap⌠then his mom can be there
Itâs all or nothing. Iâm sure itâs just as important to him that his mom be there as it is for your mom to be there. Plus your sister. Either allow all or just you & your hubby.
You are the one giving birth, not him. You decide who is in the room.
My husband and I had nearly this exact disagreement. I said I wanted him and my mother to be in the room as we were only allowed 2 (pre-covid of course). He said well that isnât fair, what about his mom, I told him that it isnt about the baby until the baby comes out. The labour is about you and what you need to feel safe and supported. Most people that have close relationships with their moms would naturally want their mom by their side as who is more comforting and supportive than your mom? Plus you are in a very exposed and vulnerable position, your mom raised you and has seen all your parts. When he spits out a baby his mom can be in the room. Good luck to you momma.
Im sorry but that is not right. Giving birth is about YOU! When you go in labour you want to be in as much of a comfortable environment as possible. Your choices. You do what is best for you!
Tell him to suck it the fuck up. When itâs his vag on display for the world to see he can make the decision. Until then the only words he needs to say is âyes dearâ. He doesnât get an opinion on this neither does your MIL. Sorry not sorry. Their opinions donât matter one iota in this and if he puts up that big of a stink about it Iâd tell him he can wait in the waiting room with mommy dearest.
Tell him if he has a problem with it then he can be in the waiting room too. I get itâs his child as well but that will just put nore stress on you.
In my honest opinion I donât think you will want anyone but your husband in there. Birth is hard and there are a lot of things that could potentially change in an instant and it really should be a more private experience.
This is a beautiful experience for you and your husband. Yes, the labor and pain will be yours but hopefully you both created this baby in love and want. I am saying this with respect. It is important for you to have your mom and give him consideration and allow him the same. Your sister needs to sit this one out.
Youâre husband should absolutely respect what you want to do.
You and husband enjoy the moment just the 2 of you grandparents and family see baby after it born saves a row
The big show is your event. Delivery is your time so you get the ultimate say.
You are the one giving birth! You get who you want in that room and everyone else can shut up and sit down.
Say no. If he wants that then he needs to squat spread eagle and allow your whole family watch him shit. Like its your vagina and your body. Id say hell no. It a time when you really donât need any more stress. I didnât even want my husband in the room. Labor was extreme and personal and I was embarrassed and uncomfortable and in pain. You donât need family politics added in with all that.
I had a similar experience. However I was not with my BD. It was a huge argument. He even demanded her to be able to come to my ultrasounds. Ultimately itâs your body and donât feel bad about not having her in there. Itâs about your comfort and your body. No good can come if your uncomfortable while being in labor and birthing a child
You should check to see if three people are allowed still? My daughter was just in hospital and only 1 person was allowed!
If you havenât ever felt comfortable with her before I donât see why your husband would expect you to suddenly feel comfortable with her there while giving birth, or is he expecting you to forgo your comfort while bringing a child into the world to please his mom? Donât sacrifice what youâre comfortable with because he canât say no to his mom. Nobody has an inherent right to sit in on your major medical procedures or treat you poorly because you donât do what they want. I hope you draw a boundary and your husband gives you that respect and puts you first during your l&d at the very least. If not, you clearly have people you are comfortable with to support, help, and protect you while you are vulnerable if your spouse chooses to be vindictive about it.
Tell him when pushes a baby out of his body his mommy can be there to hold his hand but until then the choice is yours and if he doesnât like it he can wait with his mommy in the waiting room.
Your body, your birth, your choice
I agree with Erica York, it is a beautiful experience that should only be shared between the parents-to-be.
No mother in law it should be husband and your mother because of the bond with your mother who gave birth to you.
Tell him if he will get naked and poop in front of your parents and sister then youâll consider it.
Mother in law should wait out with everyone else.My mom was in but I definitely didnât want my mil there.
Its up to you. Not him. & MIL should understand as well. Its what YOU want.
He sounds like he needs to cut the apron strings between his mama and him and make his wife no. One in his life instead of mommy
Tell him if he will show his penis to your mother then his mother can see your vagina!!!
I would say if it is causing that much tension then maybe no one goes in the room with you? Share the moment between just you and hubby.
If itâs bc youâre uncomfortable with her seeing things,take it from me, you wonât be bothered by it at the time. I had my mother in laws with us and wouldnât change it for the world and I pray when the time comes I get to be in with my daughter in law.
You do not have to let your mother in law in the room. With both my girls, it was just my husband and myself. If I let someone else, it would be mom. It is not selfish whatsoever to chose to not let her in. You are being completely exposed and that is uncomfortable for someone else to see all that.
Because of covid 19⌠I think only 1 possibly 2 is only allowed. Iâd just have my hubby and mom.
Ummm no itâs not right! Whatâs right is that you have who you want when you have the baby
Not him giving birth. She can wait in the waiting room if she wants to be there. Itâs your body. Your call and if he doesnât respect that; he doesnât have to be there either.
When he pushes a baby out of his bits he can decide whoâs in the room or not, I get that itâs his child but HE isnt the one who needs support when YOURE the one giving birth, there is no need for HIS mother to be in the room.
When he gives birth, he can decide who is in the room
You arenât required to allow any one in that room that you donât want there. Your husband can be mad but itâs you who will exposed, you doing all the work, you need to worry about what is best for you. MIL can hold the baby later, this is about you. Best wishes!!
Tell him to lay spread eagle on a table for your mom to stare at for a few hours and see how comfortable that is to him. Itâs not about having a grandparent there, itâs about having who youâre comfortable with there. I didnât want my MIL in the room either. I had him, my mom, and my dad because thatâs who I trusted and was comfortable with.
Have you called your hospital? Most are only allowing significant other
Only have your husband in the room. Our second born we did not allow anyone else. This allowed us to have intimate and private time with our new baby. It was also more peaceful. We then invited family after two days.
Maybe try to find some wiggle room for him to feel as though she is not being exluded from the experience. Try finding the right way to explain your feelings and (if your comfortable with it) tell him she can be in the labor room up until the pushing. Then have her step out. Maybe you could see if once the baby is born and your bits are put away, your sister would maybe trade places with her. But in the end its up to you mama and your only focus should be a safe delivery. Best of luck to you!
My mom has always been in the room with me (she knows my body and facial reactions more than anyone, she is blood and gave birth to me after all). For my 3rd daughter being born my husband, mother, and sister were in the room. My mother in law is always at home during birthing days to watch my other children. I think it works out great that way. We have never talked about it but she just understands. Have you talked about it with your mother in law and not just your husband? You get more than one mom in there and things could get a little crazy if you ask me. I couldnt see my mil being hands on with the birth and I dont really want her being stuck with images of my you know what in her head it is YOUR birthing experience after all and you can kick who ever you want to out of the room. Your husband might want to watch it before hes the next one out lol.
Um, mother in law is Waaay different than the women that gave birth to youâŚ
Itâs your body, your choice. And itâs not selfish at all. Your husband isnât going to go through something more painful than a gruesome death, your husbands body wonât be exposed while his insides are pulled out and put on a table. His mother didnât raise you and give you unconditional love and support so why would you feel comfortable having her around in such a unsettling situation. I didnât let my mother or my mother in law in the room and my mom was beyond supportive and respectful of that decision. YOU are the only one going through a million changes in one day so you get to choose whoâs with you for the worst/best part.
Stick to your boundaries!!! You have who you want in there and thatâs that.
You tell them both itâs your body and you donât feel comfortable with somebody you havenât known your whole life.
If it stresses you out then NO! If stress is not good for you then it is not good for the babyâŚno one can argue that point. End of discussion.
I would recheck with hospital because of covid on how many can be in there. I do think that if he is really mad he is going to have to respect your boundaries because when a baby is coming thereâs a lot that happens and you need to be comfortable. Yâall could always just forget it all and it only be the both of you.
Your body you decision! If you donât feel comfortable say no. Itâs a special moment. Iâm surprised with covid theyre letting that many in. Here itâs only one person in the room. So that would help you if the hospital made the decision for you/to keep her out. You could say she can be in the waiting room and see the baby after but not in the delivery room but itâs your choice do what makes you the most comfortable and least amount of stress! Focus on you and baby and no one else. Hubby should be supporting you not his mom
The baby is coming out of YOUR vagina during YOUR labor , I understand heâs dad and wants a day but your doing the work not him, you are supposed to be comfortable (obviously to an extent ) during your labor. I didnât even want my mom there and she came WITH MY AUNT , and I yelled at both of them and they left like no thank you , I want to be comfortable
Honestly, I would only have my husband in the room⌠thats a very emotional time for the both of you. That should be one thing you experience with your husband and nobody else⌠i know everyone is excited about the baby but Grandparents and sisters can wait.
Just you & your husband in the room
She shouldnât be in there she can wait in the waiting room, and she wonât die from it i promise. Your husband needs to stop being a child and making it about her and her feelings and understand that you donât feel comfortable with it, just like if he was about to be spread eagle for everyone Iâm sure he wouldnât want your mom present for that.
No one has to go through labor but you. Itâs what makes you the most comfortable while you bring EVERYONE a child. Itâs a vastly different experience for everyone and if any complications arise itâs about who YOU feel safe and secure having around. His mom isnât more or less of a grandma because she didnât see the baby crown.
Girl, you have whoever you want in there. Itâs not about fairness, itâs not about being nice. Itâs about you getting supported and comfortable. Be kind to your husband but pick who YOU WANT.
If mother is stressed during lsbor it can dliw and even stop progression. This is a health and wellness issue not simply a preference. Tell him she can be with you and baby after you have given birth. Birth is such an intimate expeirience. If he does not understand this then he is not likly to be supportive to you in labor and should also be in the waiting room until after the birth.
I didnt read the post itself but I can tell u most hospitals are only letting 1 person in the room due 2 covid. Who u choose is up 2 u. If ur not comfortable it can prolong labor.
did mine all by myself!
I agree that it is THEIR baby and that means his mother is the gma as well however this is HER body. SHE is the one going to be mainly nude on a table with her legs spread trying to push out said baby. So I feel that anyone that would make HER uncomfortable or on edge should not be anywhere near her during her birthing. The people in the room should be and are their for support for HER. Not the baby. Thatâs when people come to see the baby afterwards
You are the one giving birth so you say who is present. Tell your husband when he gives birth he can have who ever he wants
I wasnt sure at first to have my MIL in the room. When I was close I requested to see her. Iâm so glad I had her in the room as well as my mom and husband. My mom couldnât make it with my second birth but my mil was extremely helpful and we got super close after having my 1st baby. I can only have my husband in with me with the next and Iâm kinda upset that she wonât be there
Tell him he can wait out of the delivery room with his mum too if he ainât happy bout your decision đ 𤡠where is the respect you have said no and that is that and your the one giving birth not him so he should respect your wishes .
It is YOUR BODY, NOT HIS. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO GUILT YOU INTO SOMETHING YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH. Stick to your guns. It is LITERALLY the most vulnerable thing you will EVER do in your life, and if you arenât comfortable with her seeing you in that state, donât do it.
Tell him the next time he pushes life out of his vagina he can have all the people there looking up his private parts, but until then you can decide and he shouldnât take anything out on you thatâs childish
I believe it is your right to only have who you want. When having a baby you are completely exposed it is your choice. I would look at your husband and say strip naked with your penis and scrotum hanging out legs opened wide and pushing now I want you to let my mom in the room to watch. He needs to understand you are going to be at your most valuable and sometimes pushing makes you pee or poop like seriously if you donât want her in there he should respect that. Tell the nurses you donât want anyone other then your mom who gave birth to you,your sister and your husband. Donât let him make you do something you donât want to do this is a special day and you should feel comfortable and happy.