My Husband Is Mad I Don't Want My Mother-in-Law in the Delivery Room When I Give Birth: Advice?

No is a complete sentence. The doctors and nurses won’t allow her to be there if you don’t. Who’s the one pushing out a human? Pretty sure that person gets final say.

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You being comfortable is a HUGE part of giving birth. You need to be as relaxed as possible. I’ve had two already and my 3rd is due in 3 months and honestly I can’t say I’d ever be comfortable with a mother in law in there.
My sister filmed my birth and my mom and the baby’s dad were in there but honestly I wouldn’t feel comfortable with anyone else either.

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My mom showed up uninvited to the birth of my second. Dad saw this and called his mom. When it was time to push I said everyone out! They were offended but oh damn well :woman_shrugging:t3: I had an amazing, stress-free birth :grin:

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I’m with you. I wouldnt want anyone else seeing my cooch it’s always just been my bf and my mom lol I’m sure she can wait till the baby comes at least she can still be there along with everyone else that wants to be there to meet baby for the first time. Its suppose to be a private intimate time between couples. Not something that should be on display to watch lol but other then that I’m surprised ur hospital is allowing more then 1 person to be there.

Stand your ground. With my first, I went against what I wanted and had my husband, my mom, and his mom in the room. She took pictures of everything when I was pushing my baby out, which isn’t something I was okay or comfortable with. My husband and her also spent most of the time talking off in the corner. With my son I pushed over 3 hours and it was just an all around bad experience. My mom was my biggest support. With my daughter, it was only my husband and mom in the room. Luckily things have improved with my MIL since then. But I still wouldn’t feel comfortable having her in the room again.

He needs to get a grip, not like hes got to get his penis out infront of his MIL, its about who your comfortable with , its your body your baby, everybody else can wait to see newborn until your say so, if the dont like it tell em to bob off x

Nobody but you and CV you’re husband period.

Oh f-ing well. I only had the father in because its not a show. MIL can come in after.

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Too personal. You tell her you appreciate it but not happening

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When he has to push a baby out of his genitals, then he gets a say in who is in the room.

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I Don’t Want Your Mother Seeing My VAGINA … NO … NO … I will tell the nurses she is not allowed back there

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Shoot, I guess I’m a complete weirdo, I had everyone in there for my first two and my last was a Csection and they told me one person, my husband or my mother, I got up off the table and said I guess we won’t be having a baby today, probably wouldn’t make that choice today now that I matured more, but both got to come in.

He’s not the one with legs apart pushing a baby out tell him to man up and you do want makes you comfortable! No uterus no opinion!!

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I was furious when my MIL stayed in the room against my wishes. 1 month and 2 weeks later she passed away. Her last text to me was to tell me thank you for allowing her to be in the room to see her grand baby born and how much it meant to her to be there. My heart still hurts over how angry I was that she had stayed in the room. Mostly because I was so vulnerable and I felt so violated to have her in my private space that way. Now that I’ve reflected on it, it truly wasn’t a huge deal. It’s the miracle of life and nothing for me to have been so embarrassed over, let alone angry with.

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Sister, friend, parent, in-law, or random dude from down the street, it does not matter! You are the one pushing life into this world. It is 100% your choice on who you feel comfortable having in the delivery room!

The person in labor is the only one who gets a say in who is in the room. No one else.

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Covid will only let you have 1 person… so why is this a worry?

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My mil stayed in the room after I said no, proceeded to take pictures I never wanted, and was always trying to take over where she wasn’t wanted…no mil now, we divorced about 3 years later. I didn’t even get to enjoy my delivery or baby because I was so stressed and uncomfortable with her in the room. Second child I had 6 years later it was me and the dad no one else and much better experience.

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Listen if you are not comfortable with her there then that should be the end of it . Period. You will be having a baby and that is all you need to be concentrating on. Not experiencing mental and emotional discomfort because someone you are not comfortable with will be literally right there as you give birth. That is a hard NO for me

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It’s totally up to you.

No is a complete answer.

But, if it’s a respectful conversation you’re having with your husband, you can give the example of him being naked in front of your mother (his MIL) laying on a bed trying to have a giant poop. Would he feel comfortable with this? It seems that men forget about your body and comfort…

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If you have a stressful relationship with the mother in law her being there will make delivery stressful and dangerous for you and the baby so the answer would be a hard NO. Ask your husband if your life or the babies is worth it to make mom happy.

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My husband is pretty sensitive. His mother was in the room when I gave birth to help support him. He was so nervous and scared and it was a pretty traumatic birth. I originally didn’t want her in there, but after hearing my husbands fears I changed my mind. It was so scary, I’m glad she was there to support him because I sure as hell couldn’t and he needed it too.

All I can say is, I would not deviate from my boundaries for peace. Period. If you do once you’ll be expected to again… and the longer that goes on the harder it is to stop them from violating your boundaries. Good luck.

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It should be just you and husband why the audience

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I’m of the mind that if people want to feel some kinda way then no one can be in there.
I have 5 children. I gave birth to last one alone. It was the most stress free and peaceful birth and I’d do it again

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Sounds like he is being petty because your mother is gunna be in there…most likely he sees that there is tension between the 2 of you and doesn’t do anything about it because he is a Mama’s baby!

Tell him to get over that shit and she can sit in the waiting room!

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Compromise and just have you two. Just because you can have three doesn’t mean you need too. Giving birth is a very intimate thing and such an experience for a mother and father IMO. Guess I’m old school but I would never in a million years have anyone else in there. There are plenty of nurses and drs looking at your hooha. Then if something goes wrong. Uft no thanks.

Your mother had her moment, a couple times atleast by the sound of your post. Your MIL did too and maybe someday your sister will as well if she hasn’t already. My suggestion is really no to everyone but the dad and you. I highly suggest you entertain that idea and take away all the stress you’re putting yourself right now with this situation. They can be the first to see the baby after if that makes them feel better. Now is the time to set boundaries because people WILL push them. My next baby if I ever get a chance. I won’t even have visitors in the hospital because it was all way to much for me.

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Your delivery, your family, your choice…

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First off the people in that room are there to support you. It’s not a spectator sport. My sister was my main couch during my first birth.i could not have gotten through it without her. I would not have someone I am uncomfortable with in the room it will set you up for a traumatic birth experience

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You are the one giving birth
It’s who you feel comfortable with
If your not comfortable with his mom in the room
Then make it clear she isn’t allowed

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Tell him if he doesn’t stop, he won’t be in there either. If he is this upset about it now, there’s a pretty solid chance that he will not be a supportive birth partner either. And one of the last things you need while pushing a baby out is someone railing on you about something that you’ve already said no about. If he can’t respect you now about saying no, he won’t respect you while giving birth

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Idk there’s this thing called a pandemic going on so…

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My mother in law saw parts of me i never planned on. I’d say as long as ur comfortable mil will have plenty of time with the baby im sure

Okay Obvious But Rational Question … Um You Want You Mother There Correct ? How Come He Cannot Have His Mother There ? Understandable You Mentioned You Aren’t Too Comfortable ( Meaning Too Fond ) But Let’s Talk About Fairness Because That Isnt It! Understandable You Feel Like You Would Be In An Uncomfortable Situation And You Dont Want Anyone In The Room You Aren’t Comfortable With There But Honey She’s Family Now. So When Your Child Comes And You Have Important Things To Do And No One Who You’re Comfortable With Is Available To Tend To Your Child And You Cannot Take Them With You , Will You Have The Person ( Which Is Their Grandmother ) YOURE Uncomfortable With Watch Them ? I Mean It’s Called Being An Adult And Putting Feelings Aside In Necessary Situations , MY OPINION . This Is A Beautiful Experience And It Should Be Shared With Grandparents!

On Another Note ; Do You Ever Think Maybe She’s Not Too Comfortable ( Too Fond Of You ) Around You Either ?

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Set the boundaries now, before the child comes. You’re the one who should be most comfortable.

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Tell him he has to sit spread eagle for 5 hours naked in front of your mom and then take a big shit at the end… then if he still feels comfortable she can be in the room. :woman_facepalming:

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Who is the patient?
Whose vagina is on grand display? Not his choice

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How is it ok for you to have only your family there but not his, he’s practically begging for his mom (soon to be grandma) to be able to be there. Why is it so wrong for her to wanna see her grandchild enter this world? Wrong :woman_facepalming:t4:

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Tell your husband to get naked in front of your mom and lay on a table with his bootyhole and all shining to the sky. That’s the bare minimum of what he’s asking you to do for his mom :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Nope nope nope. You’re the one going through the pain the people in the room are there to help comfort YOU he can suck it up :woman_shrugging:t4:

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Your body, your choice! You’re the one that will be completely exposed. Not that you’ll care when it happens but still. My ex boyfriend told me no one but him and myself were allowed in the room when I gave birth. I wanted my mom and sister there. He said he’d cause trouble if they were there. Guess who never got called, him. Mine is a whole different story though. It’s about making Mommy & Baby comfortable and stress free so everything can go as smoothly as possible. Hold your ground.

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With my first born I had both of our moms in there. They’d both pushed out babies so they knew what they’d be looking at, lol. Granted they both chose to stay at my head and my MIL recorded the birth from my head, while my mom stayed for support. My husband pretty much caught our daughter and stayed at the bottom the whole time.

It is a preference, though! I feel if you’re uncomfortable even with her being at your head, that’s your decision.

See if she’s the MIL is happy to spread her legs naked in front of you for a couple of hours after she does that than I’d probably let her come watch the birth :blush:

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Its her grand baby too

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Ask him would he want your mother in there if he was going through the worst pain of his life all the while spread eagle on a bed while pushing a baby out of him? Giving birth is ALL about mom and baby. It’s YOU that is risking your life to give him a baby. His only job is to give you whatever the hell you want and do whatever you need!

No you do not compromise, you are the one giving birth not him. The only thing I regretted was letting everyone stay in the room while in labor. My boyfriend was more into everyone else then my pain. If I could redo it I would have just had my mom and my boyfriend there.

This is your time to be selfish with your feelings. If he can’t get on bored then he can go to and just have your mom and sis. Do not let him make you feel any less then you are especially if he’s not guna be the one giving birth it is stressful as it is and he should be making it less stressful.

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He’s not the one on the table. You do what makes you comfortable

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Isn’t it covid times? Isn’t there only supposed to be you and one other person?

Personally I wouldn’t let my MIL in just because it’s so personal and I am not on that level with her or even my own mother!

As long as a baby is coming out of my body I decide who will be in the room with me.

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And if your afraid she will show up in the room, before everyone else does- tell the nursing staff around you. Their job is to make sure you are comfortable and will happily toss out unwanted/uninvited people.

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Um no? I don’t think alot of hospitals allowing more then 1 person in the room. If you arent comfortable with her being there then politely just say no, doesn’t matter what your husband says. You will be going through so much pain as it is and need to be as comfortable as you can…

Idk maybe just me but I’d straight tell him if he wants to act like a child and be an asshole towards me bc I’m uncomfortable then his ass can stay out the delivery room too :woman_shrugging:t2::woman_shrugging:t2:

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I mean I would day no im sorry but im the one going threw the pain and need a support system

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I did not have my mother in law in the room with me. Granted when I gave birth I was only allowed 1 person (my husband) with me. Even before they changed that though I was not going to have her in the room with me. It might be his baby too but he is NOT the vulnerable 1 and the 1 going through it. That wasnt the time to compromise for me.

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So what if hes mad. He isnt giving birth. Those are your support people. If your not comfortable with his mom then oh well they can get over it. Be strong and set your rules.

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Tell him to let your mom stare at his bare ass for a few hours, then y’all can talk.

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You giving birth your choice

Tell him she can take his place then make her stay in the corner and gave your mom and sis block her view. I bet he won’t though

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I’d double check that 3 rule I’m sure it’s only 1 due to covid and that’s at a push x

Should be your mother and his mother and your husband, you have to remember that this is the birth of HIS child too, time to be less selfish

you’re pregnancy your choice your husband can be mad all he wants but the one thing he will never understand is how we cannot be uncomfortable while giving birth it is definitely the worst and if your mother-in-law makes you feel like that then your husband should respect your decision that you need to be as calm cool and collected as possible while trying to push a baby at a very small hole LOL

No way. You are the one giving birth, not him. It’s perfectly acceptable to not want your MIL to see you at your most vulnerable, out in the open and exposed, but to a till want your mom and sister there. I had my Mom, sister, and husband with me for our first. My inlaws didn’t even ask and happily came as soon as we let them know baby was here safely. My sister had her MIL, me and her husband. Our Mom has died, and she’s close with her MIL so was fine with her being there. I’m very close with my MIL, but I still didn’t want her in the room with me at that moment!

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Tell him he won’t be there either if he doesn’t respect your wishes. It is one of the most beautiful but awkward moments in “ any “ woman’s life.

We chose just the hubs (and myself of course) for a similar reason. Too much stress with too many people. My mom was bummed, but the hubs and I agreed well before hand. You will both be the parents, but only 1 of you has to push that sucker out. The one actually birthing the baby gets the last say, but I’d have the hubs and at the most the mothers mom. You have to be a united front to both parents (and siblings). DO NOT let him pit you against his mom and throw you under the bus.

Girl you make the choice !!! That’s a personal moment and you should only have people in there who will comfort you and make you feel at ease!!!

No advice needed. She is not going to be pushing a baby out of her. And you have the right to say NO. Without any explanation. Point. Blank. Period

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Stick to your guns and only have those you want. Birth is hard enough without someone you don’t want

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No Your body your choice. Ask him how he would feel if your mom wanted to watch his vasectomy.

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While I fully understand why you don’t want her in the room the mother in me of two boys one of which is my eldest would love to see my baby become a dad. I’m sure his mom feels the same as your mom. I have neither parent so I’ve had four kids alone.

Your body, your choice

Naw that’s your body and you have the right to say who stays and who goes. I wonder if he would take kindly to your dad being present at his prostate exam viewing him .

I speak from experience as I was in the exact same position. You need to stand your ground. He needs to remember YOU are the one giving birth not him. I understand it’s his baby but in my opinion he doesn’t get to say who is the room. It’s going to be a stressful time you are giving birth so you need to be comfortable. If you dont want her in the room that’s it end of story.

Just have you two in the room!

Sorry not sorry she can be in there when the baby comes. Let him be mad. That is your moment not his moms.

Having a baby is not a spectator sport. I had my husband only. No moms no sisters. Only the 2 of us

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This is why I’ve only ever had the dad in the room

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Your husband and your mom. If his mother cannot be in the room neither should your sister :woman_shrugging:t4:

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I’m sorry I agree with the husband. His mother should not be left out

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You’re about to push a baby our your lady bits, it’s not his decision on who is in the room, you’re giving birth to HIS BABY, he can get over who you want in the room expecally when you have your whole women hood hanging out on the table. :tipping_hand_woman:t3: Tell him to get in a hospital gown, spread eagle and push a baby out of his manhood while your mother is in the room watching every move and see if he agrees.:joy::tipping_hand_woman:t3:

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Now with COVID. There might be different rules

DO NOT FOLD ON THIS!
Your feelings matter and are relevant!!! Giving birth is not easy, its a vulnerable and painful experience.
Only have people there who will make you feel comfortable, brave, and supported!
Plain and simple. DO NOT FEEL BAD. DO NOT GIVE IN.
You can say you are sorry but you chose the best support group you felt would help you through such a difficult thing.
And that your mental and emotional state are the number one priority. It’s nothing personal toward anyone. And if they feel that way you’re sorry but you are not responsible for their feelings.

I’d also sit and have a long talk with your husband. He should be trying to support you 100%. He can mention that’d he like his mom there but if you choose otherwise then he needs to support that. You can validate his feelings- yes it’s his son. Ans yes she’s his mother and they’re all excited, and it’s understandable to want this and ask, but overall you need your chosen support group that will make you feel comfortable. And that that is the way you feel… sorry if upsets him… but you can’t flick a switch to change your emotions. No one can and that YOUR FEELINGS MATTER regardless.

I’ve noticed (some*) dads have this insecurity that they hold no power or it’s always the moms way & wants. Which shouldn’t be an issue, and had they had to go through what women do (carry the baby… literally have your body create a human being, and go through all the changes: physical, mental, and emotional, and then push that baby out and then breast feed and literally give your energy and strength to your child through your milk…)
they’d sure as hell feel like they have the right to want what’s best and fight for it.

The facts are that designed by nature… woman hold most of the responsibility.

I wish you nothing but

STRENGTH
CONFIDENCE
PEACE & JOY

during your labor! I hope you both can share in the experience with nothing but love and excitement. It’s a difficult but beautiful experience for a mommy and daddy to bond and connect through.

Good luck momma!

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Your vagina, you pick!

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Absofuckinglutely not. If he is happy to lay there for hours or days, in agony, legs spread in front of people he isn’t comfortable with, taking a dump so huge that it might LITERALLY RIP HIM APART, that’s his choice.

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Fuck him honestly god I hate this shit

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At the end of the day it’s your choice your the one pushing out the baby but really it’s a big day for him to, my kid came 5 weeks early no one had time to get to the hospital, the first person my boyfriend called his mom. Would I really have wanted her in the room if she was able to make it there on time. No that would have been awkward asf. But would it have meant the world to my boyfriend probably and if he would have asked I would said she could have been there. You know maybe sit over there and don’t directly stare at my vagina but I woulda let her be there.

If you feel uncomfortable with her and don’t want her in there say no. Yes, it’s his child but it’s coming out of your body. Period. Your second to last sentence says it all. That’s an intimate setting. She can wait.

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As hard as it is to wrap minds around sometimes. Delivery is less about a mother and more about welcoming a new life in to this world. That new life is not just yours but also your husbands. His voice should be heard as well. Your mother in law doesnt have to have a feont row seat to see all your goods, she can stand above you behind him. Having your child come in to the world is a pretty big deal and sometimes dads dont know what to expect and can be rather overwhelmed. He is there to support you and you would also have two others. As partners we are usually supposed to support one another. You will not be in a position to help support him. If you need others other than him then I feel he should have someone as well. I will say however the best delivery is the one that only my partner and I were a part of. There was no other distractions from anyone. Just him and I to share those precious moments and bond with our baby. I hate to say it but if his mother is not aloud then I dont think anyone else should be. Imagine yourself going through it alone.

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You and your husband made that baby. Y’all don’t need your whole family back there.
Plus, with Covid, they won’t let all of those people in the room anyway. :joy:

Mom makes the choice

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Why not just have you and your husband at the birth and the rest wait outside ( which is the norm) the rest were not there at the conception …that way no one gets offended …it’s not a peep show it’s a private thing :+1:

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Tell him to pull his pants down, spread eagle in the floor in front of your fam and tell him to start moaning, pushing like he’s having a bowl movement and see if he feels comfortable with them standing there watching him :woman_shrugging:t3:no way in hell would I allow my husbands family around me while I’m birthing a child. Whoever I want to be with me as my comfort while I birth a child is who will be with me. This shouldn’t even be an issue. Your body does some incredible and disgusting things in labor. That’s not for everyone.

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I didnt want mine in the room either so my mom got 2 see him 1st, his mom hot 2 hold him 1st

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I totally understand the comfort thing. He is the father right? Don’t do him like that. Your sister is your sister but you and him having your mothers there is important. Or just don’t have anyone but you two. It’s a hard decision but just remind everyone that they will see baby after he or she is born

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Fuck her and your husband :woman_shrugging:t2: id say neither be in the room if they want to act up :joy:

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Well if your mom’s in there why can’t his mom be in there I mean the sister didn’t make you or your husband so both grandmother’s should be in there or none at all in fact just let it be you and your husband I think that’s fair I mean you two made the baby but don’t do anything that could be held against you in the future .

Most likely covid will still be a huge thing and she wont be able to be in the room … most hospitals are only letting one person be there

I only wanted my husband in the room. I am a very private person

Where do you live where you’re allowed that many people right now?!
My hospital is only allowing one support person and they can’t leave once they’re there. I’m also due in 2 months. Some hospitals are only allowing one support person to stay for labor and birth, then they have to leave. I’d double check their Covid policy before delivery if I were you.
Either way, I honestly understand both sides. I get he wants his mom there too. I even understand why he may not understand why you don’t want her there. However, I completely understand why you don’t want her there. The only way to fix this is with a heart to heart talk and some form of compromise.

Sooo why doesn’t it just be you, husband and your mom. If his mom isn’t included and your sister is, that is kinda lame. Sister and mil can wait it out in another room.

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Husband needs to suck it up. You are the one who is going to be pushing a baby out of you. You will be the one with no pants on, bits out on display, ankles up while a tiny version of y’all comes out of your body.

If your MIL does not make you comfortable, or don’t think you’d be alright with her seeing ALL of that?? That’s not your problem. She can take offense to it, he can take offense to it. They can kick rocks.

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