I have been with my husband for 8 years, married 5. We are finally pregnant with our “ours” baby. I am almost 17 weeks. He hasn’t wanted to really be intimate lately and it’s been frustrating, especially after me telling him my sex drive has increased lately. So he finally tells me last night that it “creeps him out” me being pregnant and us having sex. Like, what?!? He says it’s weird knowing there is a baby in there. I said, so are we just not gonna have sex again for the rest of the 9 months?? He didn’t give me a straight answer. Has anyone else had this experience? Am I wrong for being a little pissed and thinking he is acting immature and ridiculous? What the heck am I gonna do?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband is weirded out by sex because I'm pregnant
I’ll bet he’s afraid of hurting the baby.
Yes. My husband was the same. I respected his feelings and it was ok. I was frustrated with my second child but I survived
I guarantee he’s afraid of hurting the baby. I can see where he’s at. Don’t be mad at him. Be thankful he cares.
It can be weird for men. Ask him what about it makes it weird. For my boyfriend, it was simply because he thought he might hurt our son, but after explaining he won’t and having my OB explain to him he wouldn’t hurt our son and it was perfectly safe, it made things a lot easier for him.
Try to be understanding. Sometimes it was weird for me too especially when our son would move during sex.
It’s actually a common fear/concern/disinterest in both men and women to be weirded out having sex while the woman is pregnant. He may have some worries or concerns. Suggest him going to the dr with you at your next appt so they can tell him that it’s safe and perfectly okay to have sex while pregnant. Don’t be too mad at him for this and honestly if he truly isn’t comfortable for him to have sex even after a dr talks to him (if he’s willing to listen) then that’s OK too.
Both feelings are valid…. But please don’t pressure him into something he isn’t comfortable with.
Maybe find alternatives of being intimate … good luck
You’ll be fine… I don’t think it’s immature, I mean it’s that serious you can’t wait 9 months???
Yes!! My hubby did the same thing but when it got like 5-6 months he literally thought by him sticking it in me he was gonna poke the baby . 6 years strong thoe 🤦🏽♀ try not to overthink it hun, when it happened to me I really thought he was cheating or thought I wasn’t pretty enough anymore but it was none he just really thought he was gonna poke the baby if he put it in me…there’s always the back door…just saying:muscle:t4:!
Have him to with you and talk to your OBGYN. Don’t be hateful. Just bc you disagree doesn’t make his feelings or fears invalid.
Show some respect for the father of the baby… Really talk to him about it. If you keep acting like it’s some personal slight toward you, he’ll pull away even more.
Honestly sounds like Madonna whore syndrome.
He’s probably worried about hurting the baby, it’s a natural feeling for some men… I know it’s frustrating but respect how he feels… it’s 9 months of your whole life together, you’ll survive
Roles reversed, how would you feel if he thought you were being immature or ridiculous about it? As a woman, it was very uncomfortable for me to have sex when I was pregnant. Creeped me out.
Pretty normal behavior. Most need reassurance that you can have sex in pregnancy as long as there has been no complications.
Some men and even women are turned off at the thought of sex during a pregnancy. Both of you have very valid feelings. Maybe try other things like toys? You can get off just as good if not better and it can still be intimate.
That’s completely ridiculous!!! Sex is safe while pregnant unless you are high risk an told to not have sex. His feelings are not FACTS.
Chuck him in the bin
Actually this is pretty common. Do what you can to educate him (OB, counseling, books & reliable online info), but in the end his feelings are his feelings. If he really can’t get past it, find other ways he can pleasure you, get some toys, whatever gets you to six weeks past delivery.
I didn’t have sex while I was pregnant after the first try because it weirded him out to accidentally touch my belly and feel the baby move and just think about the fact the baby is RIGHT THERE
You’re seriously a little pissed? Thinking he’s acting immature and ridiculous?? “ Am I wrong” you ask? In my opinion, YES! He sounds like an amazing, caring and cautious man and sadly you don’t see that.
It’s actually really normal for a man to feel this way.
This sort of thing is rather common. They might think they could hurt the baby somehow. You’ll have to really
It’s cute that he cares. Like obvi he’s not going to hurt the baby and yes you have your needs too. Maybe bring it up at your next OB appointment, maybe hearing it from a doctor will ease his fears.
Some guys are weird with pregnancy
Man pregnancy sex is the best sex, he’s missing out lol
Education is the answer, he’s probably thinking it will impact the baby in some way - there are a lot of articles that go in to depth explaining that your baby will not feel the effects of you two having sex - send a few to him. If he’s still not comfortable then that’s something you need to be okay with as consent is still important even in relationships and marriages.
My ex husband did the same, it’s normal
Buy yourself a toy
Tell him grow up lmao nosa nosa honestly it’s normal but to ease his mind a bit idk if your able to bring anyone with you to your appointments due to covid but either way bring it up while your with your doc and have them explain to him that it’s safe to have sex all the way til your water breaks lol until then hang on strong until he gives in lol.
As someone who is like your husband (I, too, am weirded/worried out by it), I would say respect his wishes. Unfortunately there isn’t anything you or he can do about it hoping you can let it be and not create a void or problem in your marriage. It is not personal. It’s not intentional. It’s just a reality for some of us. Xx
Oh yeah same and after that he dumped me cuz of someone else
Maybe let him know it’s all ok, the baby is very well protected
My partner was like that towards the end though.
Yes normal. They worry and it’s ok. Let him know it’s ok… x I think they don’t learn enough Anatomy in school.
He’s just being careful.
Take the lead and show him and let him know that you’ll let him know if anything feels uncomfortable.
That will help him
Toys girl… I hated sex when I was pregnant I always thought by baby was gunna get hurt
It’s actually pretty common I guess, some men are scared they are going to hurt the baby by having sex others or just creeps them out.
Lol welcome to the parenthood. This is only the beginning. After 4 years of giving birth, my husband still feels weird and the sex is gone. Out then door
My husband and I no sex when I got pregnant,until now,my baby is 5months old.believe it or not.Its ok for me.
He needs to get over it because when the baby comes, he’s not going to get to. Speaking from experience. Have the sex now. Pretty soon you’ll be zombies dying to sleep more than 2 straight hours. All gross and covered in baby spit, haven’t had a shower in days…
My mom told my hubby with my first pregnancy that if he had sex with me while I was pregnant he’d poke the baby in the head and he believed her! So we rarely had sex, while in the hospital trying to deliver the induced me and told him that having sex would also help bring on labor, I told the nurse what he thought and she told him to drop his pants so she could see just how long his penis was because no way could be long enough!
Maybe get over yourself. Sex isnt everything.
Its normal for a man to feel this way. But you being pissed cause you cant get any? Thats a little over the top. My boyfriend has always had a high drive but ive been sick my entire pregnancy and he respects me not feeling up to it. If its that big of a thing for you buy yourself a toy💁
It’s pretty normal. Try educating him, and if he’s still uncomfortable get your self a good toy and use that for your pregnancy the ones Target and Walmart sells are pretty decent and only around $30 at most.
Have your doctor explain to him it’s OK. I had same problem. Then when I was past due date one again doctor said more sex.
Get some toys
He’s entitled to his feelings. Don’t make him feel ridiculous for expressing himself.
We had sex straight through our pregnancy. Baby won’t get hurt
I mean I can PROMISE you it’s not like he’s gonna “poke” the baby. Seems incredibly immature
Next ob appointment take him with you and bring it up to your ob. They will reassure him his baby will be fine. Be patient with your husband, this is all new to him too.
It’s very normal … explain to him baby is very well protected and there isn’t any way to harm baby … and baby has no idea what’s going on at all
He genuinely might be scared to hurt you & your baby, happens a lot tbh… its sweet❤
Give him a cowboy ride or doggy style the baby is safe and avoid missionary lol
Totally normal my husband was the same with our first pregnancy. I brought him to my ob appointment so he could ask questions. He just needed to be reassured the baby was fine
Talk through everything explain how well protected baby is and how he isn’t anywhere near it during intimacy or buy a toy you have to satisfy yourself some how over next few months never know he might join in.
He’s entitled to feel that way. Respect that
He sounds like a child. Grow up man!
Use your hand or toys and don’t make
Him feel bad
I mean I personally felt weird as a female having sex, w my baby inside me both times I was pregnant so for a male to feel that way I completely get it.
As frustrating. As it may be, he doesn’t owe you sex. Get a toy.
For me it was that his brother told him that a woman will most definitely get pregnant with a second child if she has sex while pregnant. And that his brother saw it happen before. It took me, Internet, and three doctors options to get him to understand his brother is stupid.
I mean I think you’re in the wrong for calling him immature and ridiculous when he’s opened up to you and told you that he’s not comfortable with having sex right now
My daughter just had a baby and she had the same experience as your talking about. He wouldn’t kiss her or cuddle with her and he barely held her hand she told me. I finally said to talk to him and she said he was weirded out to. So he cut out kissing cause that would lead into sex. He went so far as putting a pillow between them! I asked her if he was taking longer showers lol she cried a few times to me cause she didn’t feel loved by him. And all he was doing was thinking about himself and not her.
And when I was pregnant and married to her dad for the first 5 months I was super sick and he was off doing naughty things.
But when I got more bigger in my pregnancy and I stopped being sick the baby was sitting in a great spot and every time I went to go potty I had a orgasm and I didn’t need my cheating husband. So maybe your baby will be sitting on the right spot for you too
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Pregnancy sex is the best!
My ex husband was the same with our first baby. He was afraid he was gonna hit the babies head with his penis lmao. I had to explain the many reasons that could not happen.
Get an anatomy book or print off something of the womens anatomy… Seriously show him that his penis will NEVER even get near your unborn child your cervix is closed… If that doesn’t work toys toys toys… Dont go without over a man!!!
I think it’s quite common for men to be weirded out by it.
My partner wasn’t comfortable when I was pregnant.
Get yourself a wand - you won’t look back xx
This is normal. See the OB and get reassurance that you have the green light. The stigma on men having high drives isn’t true. Men can be way more emotionally driven than women at times. He’s gonna do great.
There’s much more to sex than just penetration. Also, try not to be so dismissive of his feelings. Talk it through and see what both you and he are comfortable with.
He probably feels the baby will see his lil driver man or mistake it for a lollipop and so is freaked out at having some tiny hands grab him while he’s at it!
Don’t know where that mad idea popped from while reading the post, but you should allay his fears and have a more calmer talk with him. He’ll come around if he hears others talk freely about se.x and pregnancy. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed with changes.
Safe delivery in advance
Educate him on how having sex won’t harm the baby. Sometimes they think it will since they don’t understand that the baby is protected in the uterus and that nothing is gonna happen
Pregnancy sex is different for both men and women and as long as it’s not painful to the woman then why not ? Her vagina will feel slightly different than usual because it is swollen or thicker during pregnancy so it’s like get some on the side LoL and he will also be able to hit spots he never has before as well
Wtf?! I find this ridiculous. I agree he’s acting very immature. It creeps him out? Tf did he think was going to happen? If it were me I’d give it a month or so and if nothing changed I’d honestly leave. I wouldn’t be able to be with someone that immature. Otherwise buy some toys and have fun!
Yes your gonna have to do it yourself don’t spend time trying to get it because his rejection will cause another upset
Talk more to him about it and less to anyone else about it… communication is so important… if he’s never been through a pregnancy he is going to have questions… talk talk talk …TO EACH OTHER!
Idk, sounds real immature to me…how old is this dude…does he not know this is what happens when you have sex…like did he miss the sex ed class…I seriously can’t believe this…
My husband was like that when we found out i was pregnant. I told him it was fine and there was nothing to worry about. Even my ob told him the baby was very well protected and it was fine. He got over it quick though its normal for men to feel that way so hes not acting immature and ridiculous.
Jump on the man!!
Lol he sounds scared. Maybe have your doctor reassure him. When we were having our first child my husband and I were both scared but my doctors reassured us and then we were back to the deed.
I understand you being frustrated, but if it makes him uncomfortable, you have to find other ways to satisfy these needs. As others have mentioned, I think having him present as you talk through the concerns he has with an OB might help.
Have him go to the OB with you & have her talk to him.
And if you didn’t want to have sex the whole pregnancy he would have to “get over it” the double standards are disgusting. He doesn’t want to have sex so you respect HIS BODY HIS CHOICE, period.
So all of you who normally yell from the mountain top about your feelings & how your man won’t listen, the table is turned. He’s told you his feelings now help him work through it. Geez. Don’t be one sided
Go get yourself a rose or go to sunsetnovelties.com
Pretty funny how some men are weirded out but others aren’t phased lol!
He’s probably worried it’ll hurt the baby. Have him come with you to your appointment and let OBGYN tell him sex is safe for baby.
Yes! My husband was like this when I was pregnant with our older child. It made me feel awful and self conscious. He seriously barely touched me once I was showing. The worst was when it was time to go in to labor and everyone was saying “have sex it’ll get your labor going” and he refused.
The next pregnancy this was not the case at all. I guess he was more comfortable after we had a healthy baby the first time or bc I was pregnant again so quickly lol.
Get a really good vibrator and use it. Sex and orgasm help ease the birthing.
Ok I don’t understand being weirded out but it to me pregnant sex is most of the time super awesome
This is very normal happens to many men
Respect t his thoughts
Tell your husband to get over it bec it help you in lot of way . Sex is very good why your pregnant. I think you need to buy good toy for your self bec sex make you feel amazing your body will thank you in the labour time . If you do other thing to get your self off too .there book you buy to help .
I went through that, and it’s really frustrating on our end but his feelings are valid. My guy was diagnosed with performance anxiety because of it, dont take it personally. It may feel like it because physical intimacy is important, but you can stress other ways for him to show you intimacy for you. Emotionally and physically speaking, hopefully he is supportive in that way and that will suffice, hang in there.
He may be afraid of hurting the baby…he can’t, but he may need reassurance.
Some man are uncomfortable with it cause they don’t want to hurt the baby. And they know what they can or can’t do with their pregnant partner. He’s fears and feelings are just as valid are yours are. Just take him to your prenatal appointments and have talks with your OB. if you need to, buy a good toy for yourself until he comes around the idea.
Get a toy and handle your business. A lot of men are weirded out about having sex while a baby is in there.
DONT leave your husband over domething so silly.
Your husband is adjusting to the change in dynamics of your relationship. Before it was just you and him, extremely private. Now it is you, him and your baby. Once he understands he can’t hurt your baby and that him expressing love to you is actually good for your baby he should come around. Create private intimate moments with his pleasure in mind and sooner or later he will want to naturally reciprocate. Continue to be attractive to him and do your best not to pout even though your feelings are hurt. You and your body are going through adjustments also and possibly during your third trimester you may have days you do not feel like being intimate and you will ask him to understand. Be kind and accepting of each other, reminding yourselves that both of your love created the joy you will experience soon when you hold your child.
My husband did the same. He was scared he was going to hurt the baby. He also thought he could “poke” the baby I said that’s not how it works lol. We didn’t have it that much while pregnant but after baby comes you will make up for it!
This may seem silly, but does he have an accurate understanding of the anatomy of the undercarriage? Some guys don’t.
Yes, he told me he was afraid he was going to hurt the baby, we talked to my doctor and he was ok after that.