My husband and I have been together 5 years married 3. About 3 months after our wedding I came across a collection of flash drives that contain pictures of past girlfriends. No big deal except some of them were naked. When I asked him to get rid of the naked pictures he became defensive saying it was in his past. I accepted that he was not going to delete these pictures and we moved forward even though my heart was hurting that he would want to hold onto these. Today we were in my sons room under the suspicion that he may be hiding pot from us. (Another conversation for another day.) My husband says to me, is this what you do when Iām not home? I jokingly reply yeah. He then says that this is why he keeps his secret things somewhere outside our home. Am I right to be upset that he is still hiding things from me 3, almost 4 years into our marriage. Like what could he possibly have that I havenāt already seen? He wants me to ignore this all together but I know in my heart it will always be in the front of mind.
Yikes, you have every right to be upset. I would be! Imagine being the ex finding out he still has naked pics of you 
This oneās a good one, who came up with this one 
Iād be pissed about the naked pictures!!!
I have an ex like this itās something I never understood
I could understand if he forgot but if heās still looking at them regularly thatās creepy & gross. He really canāt be surprised your son is hiding things because heās a kid-they do that.
Woahhhh noā¦ no no no . He shouldnāt be hiding ANYTHING! Wtf
You should have replied with ā¦ ā yeah, me too!ā And went on with your business. Make him worry lol
Oh hell noā¦ first of all kinda weird he still has naked pics of his exā¦ second of all girl leave him. Too many fish in the sea to be dealing with a little shrimp
You should have left the second he refused to get rid of his exās nudes.
I found nudes my ex had saved of his ex from when they were in high-school and his prior ex. I left him on the spot for literally re emailing them to himself as a way to back them up. There were other things going on, but that was my kick in the ass to get my butt in gear to get a restraining order (domestic abuse) and get him as far gone as possible. I found them on my sons phone because he signed into his email on kiddos phone
I wouldnt put up with this
How do you not see ALL the red flags?! Theyāre bright red! 
Naked pics or pics in generalā¦ Iād be livid ā¦ " You" should be the only person he sees or looks at ā¦ why keep holding on to the past
Iād be filing for divorce
That shits weird and I wouldnāt just let it go and act like nothing is wrong
This is a huge NO and
Also sounds toxic af. I certainly would not stay in any relationship (married or not) with these issues 
Good luck to you cuz if I were you, Iād be 
to the 
and not stopping
Itās weird af about the exās pictures but Iād be more concerned about what heās hiding elsewhere!! Tad bit alarming Iād become private investigator wifey!! Bc fuck that you can never be too careful & itās odd of him to be doing in the first place let alone this far in marriage and kids
Time to go. Period. Wonāt get rid of ex pics even nudes, hiding things from you ā¦Nope ā¦big NOPE
Secrets and lies destroys many things
He admits heās hiding things from you? Awe hell no!!!
A relationship will never work if thereās secrets/things hidden. If it was me I wouldāve deleted them myself or disposed of the device. When youāre done with an ex everything else should follow them on the way out, possessions, pictures etc
I would have replied, āYeah, same!ā & had a good laugh so he can feel exactly how it feels 
I still have my exes photos yes naked as well. Doesnāt mean anything. They are souvenirs. You should not be jealous he is with you and not with them.
If he refused I would of packed my stuff and take them with me to throw in some random dumpster. If he canāt show you respect and get rid of them himself, well then he can lose you and the damn pictures.
know your worth girl.
Sorry to sayā¦I would be upset tooā¦
That is a huge red flag. Hides secrets outside of the home. Makes me think of suspense murder. Ok I listen to too much crime junkie
My thing is you should have addressed the issue & resolved it the first time. If it was something that still bothered you, why would you sweep it under the rug & potentially create a bigger problem later. What was done in the past was left in the past for both of us. & we donāt bring it up in arguments. But at the same time I donāt deal with that shit. For me itās you want to hide things fine weāll both hid things then. But it also doesnāt make it great for either parties
I watch way too much true crime for this to be me 
lol Iāll be damned if a dude think he can keep āsecretsā outside the home? What a weird thing to even say that can mean so many things. And shady flashdrives? Iāll take those into police myself like this dudes shady check of these women are missing or anything k thanks 
Iād be mad as hell Iām the beginning! I donāt mean this in a mean way but get a back bone woman! You know it isnāt right, put your foot down
I would have walked out when he justified keeping the photos.
Are you saying he hids pot in your sons room ???
Oh my ā¦thatās scaryā¦move on girl
I think deel down you know what you need to do. I mean its obvious why he keeps these naked pics of his exes and refuses to get rid of themā¦it says it all really. But if he has more stuff to hide and to the extent of hiding them outside the home then i bet its more than just pictures. Secrets will never end well in a relationship, you deserve better.
I have a hard time believing that even half of these posts are legitimate but Iād burn the flash drive for the sake of those other women.
Thatās disgusting.
It also wouldnāt be a relationship Iād stay inā¦
Do you not get the ick just thinking about him possibly keeping photoās of you like this down the line if you decide to separate? That would make me so uncomfortable.
My husband messages random internet whores because he likes to look at pussy. Sorry. I know how you feel
Hell no. You are right to have your feelings. The only pictures and the only ex I have pictures of is my kidsā dad. All the the pictures of him are him with the kids. There are absolutely no other reason to have pictures of exās. I donāt even have them on social media. My fianceā does not have pictures, videos or exās on social media. If you are over them then get rid of it IMO. No need to dwell on the past. Especially if its making your significant other uncomfortable.
Iād think the big concern about his offsite stash spot aint the pictures he might have but the opportunities to stash assets, dual lives seldom work out for the person whos in the dark
Trust and honesty are important for a long lasting marriage. Doesnāt sound like you both are on the same page here.
Iād be upset too. There are some things that just shouldnāt be kept. But the real issue here is how normal he feels it is to lie and hide things and be dishonest. I canāt even imagine the possibilities
āNo big deal EXCEPT NAKED PHOTOS?!ā Except?! What?! Hell naw sis kick him to the curb. Absolutely unacceptable
Just make sure you donāt take any naked pictures and if you have, at least you know what he does with them when he breaks up.
Seems perfectly normal, thereās nothing at all to question hereā¦
why are you posting this stuff and not packing your bags??
Havenāt you ever watched Madea?? Watch a few of movies and youāll know what to doā¦
Hide nothing if you have nothing to hide heās being suspicious and thatās not fair to you
If itās in the past why hasnāt he let it goā¦ Iād be pissed at him and that dumb ass logic heās tryin to use to make it okay.
You already know what you want to do.
Stop making excuses to stay with a man who doesnāt respect you.
I had boudoir pictures done for my ex and he was never interested in them. I got with the guy Iām with now and I found them buried in the closet and he wanted to keep them so he has them. I feel guilty just that they were taken for someone else. I couldnāt imagine how youāre feeling, but I would not be okay with that! Not only the nude pictures of exes but the fact he has a hiding spot outside of your home. That shows how untrustworthy he is.
Umm thatās weird. My husband would throw them away or I would
nope. id be done. throw the whole man in the trash
Lord went thru this with my man. What I did was threaten to leave, like, started packing all my shit up. Because 1 itās disgusting how he still had it on his phone, 2 highly disrespectful to me and I wonāt tolerate being disrespected. If he actually doesnāt want to loose you he will delete them. But all this happened after I found out he fucked someone when me and him were broken up and I got a STD from it. So he didnāt have much choice on the matter lol
The past is the past . Look forward to your future and be happy
I would want to know what all he is hiding You guyās are married He shouldnāt be hiding things from you If he has to hide things It can not be good How would he feel if he found photos of ur exās n knowing that I are hiding things
Totally right to feel the way you are. Wonder how the exs would feel knowing he has naked pictures of them that he refuses to delete. That isnāt right for him to do to them but especially not right for you.
Why arenāt u asking for a divorce? Clearly he canāt be trusted and wtf is he keeping naked photos of his ex girlfriends thatās highly disrespectful!!! Girl run!
Hey guys!! Even if she leaves now, heās gonna have indisposed sh!+ of her too.
This is cr@zy
Yeah he is dead wrong and lacks respect
A few pictures here and there of exes is one thing. I still have a few, and my grandmother even has a picture of me and an ex hanging in her living room. However, this sounds like he keeps tons of picture of all his exes, particularly individual photos of them(weird). The fact that he refused to delete their nudes is unacceptable. I can see maybe wanting to keep the others; photos are a big thing for me, too. However, why does he need the nudes exactly? Gross. Iād have serious self-consciousness about this. He should respect you as his wife and discard the nudes, period!
As far as the comment, normally Iād say he was probably joking as this sounds like something my husband and I would say jokingly, but given his past decisions he probably does have a hidden stash of tasteless things.
Personally, Iād have set fire to the flash drives 
What pictures? And Iād definitely question what else he was hiding. Good luck.
You should probably file for a divorce before it gets worse.
Leave I mean if thereās no trust thereās no realtionship. File for divorce and let him have all his secrets
Gross. Having pictures of exās on a flash drive is whateverā¦ but nudesā¦ thatās a no for me, and probably for them too if they knew SMH. He is disgusting.
My husband threw away the pictures from his first wedding. I did not have to ask him to trash em. He chose that all on his own. Find someone who respects you.
Yeah I would have lost my mind. Not bc of what you might be thinking but just that fact that he would think itās ok to make me look crazy for my reaction. No way.
Um Iād be disgusted if my ex got married and still had my nudes saved on a flash drive. He has issues.
I went through something similarā¦my husband had a sex video of him and his ex wife on his computer and when I found it I told him to delete it and I thought he didā¦well I went back and checked every file and he put it up under a file in his daddyās nameā¦needless to say I left him for a year and itās been 4 years ago and still haunts meā¦I still aināt over it. Sometimes I wish I would have stayed away but I was pregnant with our son and I did love himā¦ so I donāt have any advice but if he loves you I feel like he would get rid of them.
Not ok. Past is the past. Photos should have been deleted/thrown out a long time ago. Disrespectful to you and to his past girlfriends
Yeah dump him lol thatās my advice. Who knows what else heās hiding
Why are you even still with him? An ex is an ex for a reason. I would not want my husband keeping photos of his ex and if they were naked photos and he had no intention of getting rid of them because they were in his past if be giving home the boot. Get on tinder (not to do anything) just because youāll get sent loads of dick pics. Leave them somewhere heāll find them and when he questions you tell them theyāre in your past and see what he says! I can guarantee heāll hit the roof! Your allowing him to walk all over you so heāll continue to do so as he knows he can! Start to love yourself and work on your confidence and I can guarantee you will then 
know that this is wrong. Do you have a daughter or niece? What would you say to them if they were in this situation, youād be telling them to run
I donāt know what my husband has in his phone, I know his password and use it sometimes to send a text or answer the phone when heās driving, but I donāt go through it. So I canāt really give advice on that. But that comment (and just by reading I can hear his tone that he was serious) it would also rub me the wrong way and I would probably obsess over it wondering what heās hiding. Before you jump to divorce, I would ask him to go to couples counseling and see if you can figure things out with the help of a neutral party. If heās not willing to go, then yeah Iād probably file for divorce.
He could just be grasping for conversation 
Iām the queen of inappropriate comments at the worst time. And inappropriate doesnāt always been lewd comments - Iāll say some dumb shit at just the worst time. Although I would say go with your gut.
Why should he bring his sordid past into your future with him? Get rid quickly x Good luck 
Oh big nope. He probably has it in his car.
I think its a disgrace that he still has personal pictures of his exās ā¦ I bet they would not be happy if they knew he still had them!!
He is certainly out of order.
First of allā¦ keeping naked pictures of your exes isnāt ok if your spouse isnāt ok with it. I would have tossed the drives. For him to admit heās hiding stuff where he knows you canāt get to it. Iād never trust him. I wouldnāt be able to be in a relationship like that.
Ughā¦ Thatās a mouthful he just vomited out!
Good luck to you
I honestly think heās lying about keeping other things hidden outside of your home. It was to get a reaction out of you or for you to believe that he is hiding outside of the house so that you will stop searching in the house for whatever he maybe hiding from you. Reverse psychology. He is wrong and you deserve so much better my love.
oh HELL NO
sad. youre gonna stay with himā¦
your fault.
if my husband said some shit like that to me, i would be out or he would with NO QUESTIONS asked
Itās hard to gain trust back 
I would have āaccidentlyā lost the flash drives. Giving off a lot of narcissistic vibes, but not actually a narcissist. Many of us have narcissistic behaviors. But gosh heās being creepy. Sounds like some good communication would be good here but heāll feel ācorneredā and feel like he needs to be defensive when thereās nothing to be defensive about.
Couples therapy. You two need to talk this through with a neutral party. Thereās more to this than meets the eye.
Um Iād say its creepy to keep nude pics of your exās.
Uh thatās a big red flag that he said he hides things outside of the home
Why canāt he have privacy?
I would find the flash drives smash the crap out of them and put them back. You should have left when you found them
Iād throw them out or destroy them. Thatās a big invasion of his exes privacy, and if itās from his āpastā why would he care so much get rid of them and let him be upset heāll get over it.
He is very wrong. He shouldnāt have any pictures of any EX.
seems he still loves her yall are married that is so disrespectful regardless of nude or not if i were you id leave screw that!!!
Sounds narcissistic better just divorce nothing will ever change itāll always be your fault counseling wonāt help
You need to find it and take it to the police. Guaranteed these women do not consent to this or potentially there is something more illegal there.
Suggest marriage counseling because the idea that he is hiding things from you is effecting your marriage
He just created serious trust issues in your relationship and in order to have a solid foundation that will need to be fixed whether thatās with honest mature conversation or even coupes therapy.
Having naked pictures of ex girlfriends is a lot different to me then say having family photos with an ex and kids you keep. Iām sure they wouldnāt want him to be holding on to those either, itās creepy.
I would track his ass and see where his secret location is. Shady much?
What the hell. Boy bye! There is 0 reason to keep naked pics of exās that is creepy as hell! Iām sure his exās wouldnāt appreciate that either and think heās a total creep. Wonder what else he is hiding
Iād be pissed and demand to know what āheās been hidingā. Itās not something I would be okay with at all!
I always trashed my pics when I broke up with some0ne but as an adult I regret it because huge chapters of my life is missing in these pics I threw away. I agree that he should toss the naked ones as that isnāt the same by any means. The issue with him hiding stuff outside the hiuse is a whole other topicā¦ I would get that addressed. My husband hides stuff he gets for me at others houses but obviously different, could he mean thatās what he does?
That doesnāt sound good. Give him a little taste of his own medicine. Heās being very disrespectful
I would of repliedā¦ SAME!! Give him a taste of his own disrespect
Ex girlfriends. He is with you. So he has their pictures. But you have him. Guess it isnāt ever going to be enough for you. No man will.
Honestly, I donāt know what to tell you. After only being married for 3 months you found NAKED pictures of his ex girlfriends and you stayed married. That shouldāve been a HUGE . Then a few years later he admits that he hides secret things outside of the house. Heās being very disrespectful. Iām quite sure he would have a whole fit if you had some 
pics on a flash drive.