My husband and I have been together 5 years married 3. About 3 months after our wedding I came across a collection of flash drives that contain pictures of past girlfriends. No big deal except some of them were naked. When I asked him to get rid of the naked pictures he became defensive saying it was in his past. I accepted that he was not going to delete these pictures and we moved forward even though my heart was hurting that he would want to hold onto these. Today we were in my sons room under the suspicion that he may be hiding pot from us. (Another conversation for another day.) My husband says to me, is this what you do when I’m not home? I jokingly reply yeah. He then says that this is why he keeps his secret things somewhere outside our home. Am I right to be upset that he is still hiding things from me 3, almost 4 years into our marriage. Like what could he possibly have that I haven’t already seen? He wants me to ignore this all together but I know in my heart it will always be in the front of mind.
Yikes, you have every right to be upset. I would be! Imagine being the ex finding out he still has naked pics of you 
This one’s a good one, who came up with this one 
I’d be pissed about the naked pictures!!!
I have an ex like this it’s something I never understood
I could understand if he forgot but if he’s still looking at them regularly that’s creepy & gross. He really can’t be surprised your son is hiding things because he’s a kid-they do that.
Woahhhh no… no no no . He shouldn’t be hiding ANYTHING! Wtf
You should have replied with … “ yeah, me too!” And went on with your business. Make him worry lol
Oh hell no… first of all kinda weird he still has naked pics of his ex… second of all girl leave him. Too many fish in the sea to be dealing with a little shrimp
You should have left the second he refused to get rid of his ex’s nudes.
I found nudes my ex had saved of his ex from when they were in high-school and his prior ex. I left him on the spot for literally re emailing them to himself as a way to back them up. There were other things going on, but that was my kick in the ass to get my butt in gear to get a restraining order (domestic abuse) and get him as far gone as possible. I found them on my sons phone because he signed into his email on kiddos phone
I wouldnt put up with this
How do you not see ALL the red flags?! They’re bright red! 
Naked pics or pics in general… I’d be livid … " You" should be the only person he sees or looks at … why keep holding on to the past
I’d be filing for divorce
That shits weird and I wouldn’t just let it go and act like nothing is wrong
This is a huge NO and
Also sounds toxic af. I certainly would not stay in any relationship (married or not) with these issues 
Good luck to you cuz if I were you, I’d be 
to the 
and not stopping
It’s weird af about the ex’s pictures but I’d be more concerned about what he’s hiding elsewhere!! Tad bit alarming I’d become private investigator wifey!! Bc fuck that you can never be too careful & it’s odd of him to be doing in the first place let alone this far in marriage and kids
Time to go. Period. Won’t get rid of ex pics even nudes, hiding things from you …Nope …big NOPE
Secrets and lies destroys many things
He admits he’s hiding things from you? Awe hell no!!!
A relationship will never work if there’s secrets/things hidden. If it was me I would’ve deleted them myself or disposed of the device. When you’re done with an ex everything else should follow them on the way out, possessions, pictures etc
I would have replied, “Yeah, same!” & had a good laugh so he can feel exactly how it feels 
I still have my exes photos yes naked as well. Doesn’t mean anything. They are souvenirs. You should not be jealous he is with you and not with them.
If he refused I would of packed my stuff and take them with me to throw in some random dumpster. If he can’t show you respect and get rid of them himself, well then he can lose you and the damn pictures.
know your worth girl.
Sorry to say…I would be upset too…
That is a huge red flag. Hides secrets outside of the home. Makes me think of suspense murder. Ok I listen to too much crime junkie
My thing is you should have addressed the issue & resolved it the first time. If it was something that still bothered you, why would you sweep it under the rug & potentially create a bigger problem later. What was done in the past was left in the past for both of us. & we don’t bring it up in arguments. But at the same time I don’t deal with that shit. For me it’s you want to hide things fine we’ll both hid things then. But it also doesn’t make it great for either parties
I watch way too much true crime for this to be me 
lol I’ll be damned if a dude think he can keep “secrets” outside the home? What a weird thing to even say that can mean so many things. And shady flashdrives? I’ll take those into police myself like this dudes shady check of these women are missing or anything k thanks 
I’d be mad as hell I’m the beginning! I don’t mean this in a mean way but get a back bone woman! You know it isn’t right, put your foot down
I would have walked out when he justified keeping the photos.
Are you saying he hids pot in your sons room ???
Oh my …that’s scary…move on girl
I think deel down you know what you need to do. I mean its obvious why he keeps these naked pics of his exes and refuses to get rid of them…it says it all really. But if he has more stuff to hide and to the extent of hiding them outside the home then i bet its more than just pictures. Secrets will never end well in a relationship, you deserve better.
I have a hard time believing that even half of these posts are legitimate but I’d burn the flash drive for the sake of those other women.
That’s disgusting.
It also wouldn’t be a relationship I’d stay in…
Do you not get the ick just thinking about him possibly keeping photo’s of you like this down the line if you decide to separate? That would make me so uncomfortable.
My husband messages random internet whores because he likes to look at pussy. Sorry. I know how you feel
Hell no. You are right to have your feelings. The only pictures and the only ex I have pictures of is my kids’ dad. All the the pictures of him are him with the kids. There are absolutely no other reason to have pictures of ex’s. I don’t even have them on social media. My fiance’ does not have pictures, videos or ex’s on social media. If you are over them then get rid of it IMO. No need to dwell on the past. Especially if its making your significant other uncomfortable.
I’d think the big concern about his offsite stash spot aint the pictures he might have but the opportunities to stash assets, dual lives seldom work out for the person whos in the dark
Trust and honesty are important for a long lasting marriage. Doesn’t sound like you both are on the same page here.
I’d be upset too. There are some things that just shouldn’t be kept. But the real issue here is how normal he feels it is to lie and hide things and be dishonest. I can’t even imagine the possibilities
“No big deal EXCEPT NAKED PHOTOS?!” Except?! What?! Hell naw sis kick him to the curb. Absolutely unacceptable
Just make sure you don’t take any naked pictures and if you have, at least you know what he does with them when he breaks up.
Seems perfectly normal, there’s nothing at all to question here…
why are you posting this stuff and not packing your bags??
Haven’t you ever watched Madea?? Watch a few of movies and you’ll know what to do…
Hide nothing if you have nothing to hide he’s being suspicious and that’s not fair to you
If it’s in the past why hasn’t he let it go… I’d be pissed at him and that dumb ass logic he’s tryin to use to make it okay.
You already know what you want to do.
Stop making excuses to stay with a man who doesn’t respect you.
I had boudoir pictures done for my ex and he was never interested in them. I got with the guy I’m with now and I found them buried in the closet and he wanted to keep them so he has them. I feel guilty just that they were taken for someone else. I couldn’t imagine how you’re feeling, but I would not be okay with that! Not only the nude pictures of exes but the fact he has a hiding spot outside of your home. That shows how untrustworthy he is.
Umm that’s weird. My husband would throw them away or I would
nope. id be done. throw the whole man in the trash
Lord went thru this with my man. What I did was threaten to leave, like, started packing all my shit up. Because 1 it’s disgusting how he still had it on his phone, 2 highly disrespectful to me and I won’t tolerate being disrespected. If he actually doesn’t want to loose you he will delete them. But all this happened after I found out he fucked someone when me and him were broken up and I got a STD from it. So he didn’t have much choice on the matter lol
The past is the past . Look forward to your future and be happy
I would want to know what all he is hiding You guy’s are married He shouldn’t be hiding things from you If he has to hide things It can not be good How would he feel if he found photos of ur ex’s n knowing that I are hiding things
Totally right to feel the way you are. Wonder how the exs would feel knowing he has naked pictures of them that he refuses to delete. That isn’t right for him to do to them but especially not right for you.
Why aren’t u asking for a divorce? Clearly he can’t be trusted and wtf is he keeping naked photos of his ex girlfriends that’s highly disrespectful!!! Girl run!
Hey guys!! Even if she leaves now, he’s gonna have indisposed sh!+ of her too.
This is cr@zy
Yeah he is dead wrong and lacks respect
A few pictures here and there of exes is one thing. I still have a few, and my grandmother even has a picture of me and an ex hanging in her living room. However, this sounds like he keeps tons of picture of all his exes, particularly individual photos of them(weird). The fact that he refused to delete their nudes is unacceptable. I can see maybe wanting to keep the others; photos are a big thing for me, too. However, why does he need the nudes exactly? Gross. I’d have serious self-consciousness about this. He should respect you as his wife and discard the nudes, period!
As far as the comment, normally I’d say he was probably joking as this sounds like something my husband and I would say jokingly, but given his past decisions he probably does have a hidden stash of tasteless things.
Personally, I’d have set fire to the flash drives 
What pictures? And I’d definitely question what else he was hiding. Good luck.
You should probably file for a divorce before it gets worse.
Leave I mean if there’s no trust there’s no realtionship. File for divorce and let him have all his secrets
Gross. Having pictures of ex’s on a flash drive is whatever… but nudes… that’s a no for me, and probably for them too if they knew SMH. He is disgusting.
My husband threw away the pictures from his first wedding. I did not have to ask him to trash em. He chose that all on his own. Find someone who respects you.
Yeah I would have lost my mind. Not bc of what you might be thinking but just that fact that he would think it’s ok to make me look crazy for my reaction. No way.
Um I’d be disgusted if my ex got married and still had my nudes saved on a flash drive. He has issues.
I went through something similar…my husband had a sex video of him and his ex wife on his computer and when I found it I told him to delete it and I thought he did…well I went back and checked every file and he put it up under a file in his daddy’s name…needless to say I left him for a year and it’s been 4 years ago and still haunts me…I still ain’t over it. Sometimes I wish I would have stayed away but I was pregnant with our son and I did love him… so I don’t have any advice but if he loves you I feel like he would get rid of them.
Not ok. Past is the past. Photos should have been deleted/thrown out a long time ago. Disrespectful to you and to his past girlfriends
Yeah dump him lol that’s my advice. Who knows what else he’s hiding
Why are you even still with him? An ex is an ex for a reason. I would not want my husband keeping photos of his ex and if they were naked photos and he had no intention of getting rid of them because they were in his past if be giving home the boot. Get on tinder (not to do anything) just because you’ll get sent loads of dick pics. Leave them somewhere he’ll find them and when he questions you tell them they’re in your past and see what he says! I can guarantee he’ll hit the roof! Your allowing him to walk all over you so he’ll continue to do so as he knows he can! Start to love yourself and work on your confidence and I can guarantee you will then 
know that this is wrong. Do you have a daughter or niece? What would you say to them if they were in this situation, you’d be telling them to run
I don’t know what my husband has in his phone, I know his password and use it sometimes to send a text or answer the phone when he’s driving, but I don’t go through it. So I can’t really give advice on that. But that comment (and just by reading I can hear his tone that he was serious) it would also rub me the wrong way and I would probably obsess over it wondering what he’s hiding. Before you jump to divorce, I would ask him to go to couples counseling and see if you can figure things out with the help of a neutral party. If he’s not willing to go, then yeah I’d probably file for divorce.
He could just be grasping for conversation 
I’m the queen of inappropriate comments at the worst time. And inappropriate doesn’t always been lewd comments - I’ll say some dumb shit at just the worst time. Although I would say go with your gut.
Why should he bring his sordid past into your future with him? Get rid quickly x Good luck 
Oh big nope. He probably has it in his car.
I think its a disgrace that he still has personal pictures of his ex’s … I bet they would not be happy if they knew he still had them!!
He is certainly out of order.
First of all… keeping naked pictures of your exes isn’t ok if your spouse isn’t ok with it. I would have tossed the drives. For him to admit he’s hiding stuff where he knows you can’t get to it. I’d never trust him. I wouldn’t be able to be in a relationship like that.
Ugh… That’s a mouthful he just vomited out!
Good luck to you
I honestly think he’s lying about keeping other things hidden outside of your home. It was to get a reaction out of you or for you to believe that he is hiding outside of the house so that you will stop searching in the house for whatever he maybe hiding from you. Reverse psychology. He is wrong and you deserve so much better my love.
oh HELL NO
sad. youre gonna stay with him…
your fault.
if my husband said some shit like that to me, i would be out or he would with NO QUESTIONS asked
It’s hard to gain trust back 
I would have “accidently” lost the flash drives. Giving off a lot of narcissistic vibes, but not actually a narcissist. Many of us have narcissistic behaviors. But gosh he’s being creepy. Sounds like some good communication would be good here but he’ll feel “cornered” and feel like he needs to be defensive when there’s nothing to be defensive about.
Couples therapy. You two need to talk this through with a neutral party. There’s more to this than meets the eye.
Um I’d say its creepy to keep nude pics of your ex’s.
Uh that’s a big red flag that he said he hides things outside of the home
Why can’t he have privacy?
I would find the flash drives smash the crap out of them and put them back. You should have left when you found them
I’d throw them out or destroy them. That’s a big invasion of his exes privacy, and if it’s from his “past” why would he care so much get rid of them and let him be upset he’ll get over it.
He is very wrong. He shouldn’t have any pictures of any EX.
seems he still loves her yall are married that is so disrespectful regardless of nude or not if i were you id leave screw that!!!
Sounds narcissistic better just divorce nothing will ever change it’ll always be your fault counseling won’t help
You need to find it and take it to the police. Guaranteed these women do not consent to this or potentially there is something more illegal there.
Suggest marriage counseling because the idea that he is hiding things from you is effecting your marriage
He just created serious trust issues in your relationship and in order to have a solid foundation that will need to be fixed whether that’s with honest mature conversation or even coupes therapy.
Having naked pictures of ex girlfriends is a lot different to me then say having family photos with an ex and kids you keep. I’m sure they wouldn’t want him to be holding on to those either, it’s creepy.
I would track his ass and see where his secret location is. Shady much?
What the hell. Boy bye! There is 0 reason to keep naked pics of ex’s that is creepy as hell! I’m sure his ex’s wouldn’t appreciate that either and think he’s a total creep. Wonder what else he is hiding
I’d be pissed and demand to know what ‘he’s been hiding’. It’s not something I would be okay with at all!
I always trashed my pics when I broke up with some0ne but as an adult I regret it because huge chapters of my life is missing in these pics I threw away. I agree that he should toss the naked ones as that isn’t the same by any means. The issue with him hiding stuff outside the hiuse is a whole other topic… I would get that addressed. My husband hides stuff he gets for me at others houses but obviously different, could he mean that’s what he does?
That doesn’t sound good. Give him a little taste of his own medicine. He’s being very disrespectful
I would of replied… SAME!! Give him a taste of his own disrespect
Ex girlfriends. He is with you. So he has their pictures. But you have him. Guess it isn’t ever going to be enough for you. No man will.
Honestly, I don’t know what to tell you. After only being married for 3 months you found NAKED pictures of his ex girlfriends and you stayed married. That should’ve been a HUGE . Then a few years later he admits that he hides secret things outside of the house. He’s being very disrespectful. I’m quite sure he would have a whole fit if you had some 
pics on a flash drive.