My Husband Kicked Me Out for 'Infidelity' But Can He Really Do That Given the Circumstances?

QUESTION:

"So I am married; I have been with my husband for 13 years and married for nine, but for a few months, he’s been so rude to me, gets mad about everything, and yells a lot.

I started talking to a guy about two weeks ago and my husband went through my phone and saw some snaps. Yeah, I know I messed up by talking to this guy. I haven’t met up with him and haven’t done anything physical, but I know him.

So he talked to one of our local officers, and because that is considered infidelity, I don’t have a right to be in our home even though I am also on the lease. From what I knew, I didn’t think he was allowed to kick me out, I get that I messed up. Idk what to do. I need suggestions and input."

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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

“USUALLY, when a man’s behavior changes like that out of nowhere, there’s another female in the picture. Maybe you should’ve been checking through his phone like he went through yours. At this point, you should contact a lawyer to see what your rights are. If you can’t move back in you should at least be able to remove your name from the lease. Good luck.”

" Legally, you can not be kicked out of your house for cheating if your name is on the lease. He didn’t go to the police. He’s lying. If your name is on the lease, you’re legally allowed to be there regardless."

“I would check his phone also. Sounds like he was looking for an excuse to kick you out.”

“That’s what a cheater gets. Sorry just straight forward. If it was a man asking the same thing you all would be telling him that’s what he deserves. Talking to someone else and hiding it is cheating in my opinion.”

“Imagine if this had been the other way around? I’m pretty sure the comments would be full of, you’re better off without him, why’s he sending snaps he’s obviously cheated, etc. Use this as a learning curve. You clearly aren’t happy in your marriage as you wouldn’t have been sending those pictures and talking to a guy in the first place. If you want to salvage it, be open and honest with your husband - I’d have thought after 13 years communication wouldn’t be a problem. Please don’t try and pass this off as ‘well he has started being rude to me.’ It doesn’t excuse what you did, don’t try and flip the blame. You should have spoken to him about what was bothering him, but instead, you chose to find comfort from another guy. Take responsibility for that and speak to your husband.”

“Sorry but if that’s your state statute, you made your bed, lie in it. Cheating in any way isn’t okay.”

“I’m sorry but like… You were talking to another man. He clearly must have sensed something was up. Would you have done the same? And seriously so sick of people thinking if flirt with someone while in a relationship it’s okay and not cheating. No, that’s narcissistic thinking.”

“As long as your on that lease you have just as many rights to be in the home.”

“Infidelity overrides your name being on a lease in some states. Depending on where you are, he may be fully within his rights to kick you out.”

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READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

89 Likes

I honestly have never heard of that. What state?

1 Like

He can’t kick you out if you are on the lease

12 Likes

Call a lawyer or go-to the Police department and ask them

As long as your on that lease you have just as much rights to be in the home.

12 Likes

He can’t kick you out if you’re on that lease! Go back to that house if you have nowhere to go. If he don’t want to be around you, then he can leave. I understand him being furious with you though, I would be if I were in his situation too.

2 Likes

Infidelity overrides your name being on a lease in some states. Depending on where you are, he may be fully within his rights to kick you out.

8 Likes

He can’t kick you out for cheating. Go home and get your stuff but file for a divorce and custody before he does…

1 Like

Ummmmmm, you’re married and we’re taking to another man. Find yourself an apartment and file for divorce. You wouldn’t want him there if he was talking to other females behind your back.

58 Likes

Get a lawyer. All states are different.

1 Like

Own your mistake… put your big girl panties on…find a place to stay until you get get your own place…and quit blaming your husband. Not sure why he got the way he got with you…communication might have gave you the answer. But you should have concluded your marriage before “talking” to another guy. It was cheating…whether you slept with him or not.

25 Likes

Make him take a lie detector test let’s see who was cheating

12 Likes

Go to counselling both of you.

1 Like

Decide what you want in life that relationship or not and start from their…

1 Like

She was just talking to him not cheating on him good grief go back home have a officer escort you

7 Likes

Lol that’s so untrue. You can Google laws ya know

1 Like

Wasn’t this already posted?

Relationships are really hard work. Don’t just give up try and find a solution to why you guys are in the current situation that you are.

1 Like

If he’s been rude for weeks and tweeting at you, have you fishers he may be projecting and may be cheating on you? If you’re able, find out what he’s been to to.

3 Likes

He can not make you leave.

Why should she be the one to leave if my husband was being mean I would need someone to talk to honey talking is not cheating

2 Likes

Absolutely not cheating your a grown woman u can have male friends and if your on the lease only the landlord can kick you out and a police officer will say its a matter for family court because there is no crime so id call his bluff id go and file for custody immediately because if neither of you ahev custody through court whoever physically has the child temporarily has custody till you go to court . If hes acting like this hes probably the one being shady!!

7 Likes

He was cheating first, found a reason to make you leave and blame you. Smh

9 Likes

You made your bed :woman_shrugging:t2:

10 Likes

Where the hell do you live? I never, ever heard of this!

2 Likes

Go home he can’t legally kick you out unless he evicted you and then he has to have a reason other than cheating to evict you

Call a lawyer does not sound right

Just leave. Its your way out

Keep him for a fuckboy

Call management about your lease

Get yourself a place to live and a divorce. Pretty simple

1 Like

What state do you live in?

How would you feel if the tables were turned and he did that to you?
You don’t have to have sex with someone for it to be cheating

9 Likes

He can’t kick you out. Period you are on the lease. He would have to formally serve you. He is lying

3 Likes

If you were interested in another person why look back now.

6 Likes

Why mess around if you know you gonna end up homeless🤷‍♀️ cheating isn’t just meeting up, messaging someone and hiding messages is a form of cheating.

5 Likes

I’d kick her out too if she was willing to throw 13 yrs away over a few months of him “being rude” :woman_shrugging:t3:

15 Likes

What about the new guy… can u go there

2 Likes

All states are different. If your state does in fact have infidelity laws then he may be fully within his rights. It will also play against you when the divorce goes to court. The best thing you can do is contact a lawyer and get legal advice on what you are able to do.

That’s what a cheater gets. Sorry just straight forward. If it was a man asking the same thing you all would be telling him that’s what he deserves. Talking to someone else and hiding it is cheating in my opinion.

21 Likes

He cant kick you out. Not without going to court first. Go home and if he doesn’t let you in call the police… Also on a side note, if you’re unhappy leave someone. Dont cheat on them, it’s really trashy and hurtful

7 Likes

Haha lord.
Suggestion? Apply for an apartment.
Input? Infidelity isn’t cool.

14 Likes

There’s more to the story besides her side!!

1 Like

Sounds like he might have been seeing or talking to another woman and he started being mean just to make it seem like there’s problems in the relationship just to feel better about what he was doing and when he found your messages he realized that he fucked up to so now hes gonna make you seem like the bad guy. My ex boyfriend did the same thing. Towards the end he was constantly picking fights and going through my phone questioning every single thing he found no matter what it was. Which btw I was faithful the whole time, BUT i eventually found out he was cheating.

Good for him. Valuing himself. Not settling.

11 Likes

Sorry but if I were in his shoes I would’ve kicked you out too :woman_shrugging:t2: since you’re talking to another man anyways why do you wanna move back in lol?

11 Likes

HAHAHA NO.
You are on the lease, YOU HAVE EQUAL RIGHTS.
Also most places DGAF about Infidelity anymore.

But outside of that I’d just leave and file for divorce.

Also I don’t really think it was ok to even talk to someone that you may have a thing with while married. To each his own and that doesn’t excuse the behavior he had previously but have more love for yourself than that! But girl… like if he was just going threw some shit the last few months and you turned your back on him instead of trying to figure it out… you didn’t just disrespect him… you disrespected yourself.

Sounds like the mister was going through something and you didn’t want to be there for him as a partner. :woman_shrugging: Must be a communication. By the way, you had an emotional affair. Call it was it is lady. If the tables were turned and the husband did it, y’all would be on a witch hunt, wanting him out of the house. You did it yourself. Finish what you started. Go and get your own apartment. Separate from your husband.:woman_shrugging:

16 Likes

Go stay with the dude that was good enough to ruin your marriage :woman_shrugging: dont know why anyone is sugar coating this…

29 Likes

Emotional affairs are worse than physical. What did you think would happen?

13 Likes

Wow what state do u live in? Yes u were wrong. If there are troubles in ur marriage u either commit to working it out or u part ways but u don’t start another relationship in any way shape or form until the current relationship is dissolved.

1 Like

I woulda kicked you out, too lol

6 Likes

Ask a lawyer, there’s different laws for different states and circumstances but for the most part he can’t kick you out.

3 Likes

Ok so was it like flirting snaps? Or just hey we’re friend snaps? But I don’t think just talking is indefinitely

Go cry on the dudes shoulder now get!!!

13 Likes

I would ask the courts

I came here to see which side y’all would be on… I am not disappointed… Almost all the comments I read are honest even if they hurt… I especially like the ones that say the guy knows his worth… He sounds like a azz. But no one deserves to be cheated on. Love you ladies. Keep on keeping on

5 Likes

In Canada if your wife cheats on you she can then make you sell the house and take half your earnings and savings… isn’t that some shit ?

Id kick ya out too… Sorry but thats just super wrong, my husband can be a HUGE dick some times but it makes me not wanna cook his ass dinner… Not cheat, tf? :thinking: girl you asked for it & you got it, don’t be upset now.

Depends on your state law. You’ll need to.find your own place and seek a lawyer

Also since he’s been acting rude and went snooping had he been cheating on you too?

3 Likes

Legally, you can not be kicked out of your house for cheating if your name is on the lease :joy: He didn’t go to the police. He’s lying. If your name is on the lease, you’re legally allowed to be there regardless.

34 Likes

Depending on where you live i dont think he can legally kick you out without a 30 day notice. And still has to let you in to get your shit.
But you made your bed, now you gotta lay in it. :woman_shrugging:t3:

You messed up. Now get the other guy to take you in. Good luck.

4 Likes

Why can’t you talk to who you want to…
Sounds like he’s been controlling you for too long…
You are on lease, tell him to get out

5 Likes

Everyone makes mistakes nobody is Perfect
I’d take it as it is and end it, walk away and start over
If my husband neglected me to the point that I sought comfort in another and I wouldn’t want to be with or around him, especially if I made it clear that my needs arent being met
It’s a partnership and cant be one sided, live and learn

3 Likes

He cant just kick you out call whomever you rent from

What state are you living in??

1 Like

He can not kick you out this was a lie

1 Like

Maybe you shouldve left him before getting a side piece? :woman_shrugging:t2:

7 Likes

Omg this just happened to me last week🤦‍♀️

Sorry but if that’s your state statute, you made your bed, lie in it. Cheating in any way isn’t okay.

18 Likes

Your husband kicked you out… or is trying to kick you out?!

USUALLY, when a man’s behavior changes like that out of nowhere, there’s another female in the picture. Maybe you should’ve been checking through his phone like he went through yours. At this point, you should contact a lawyer to see what your rights are. If you can’t move back in you should at least be able to remove your name from the lease. Good luck.

33 Likes

Hey guys, let’s not judge too quickly. You may not know what an emotionally draining relationship can do to a person. Is what she did okay, or justified? No. But that doesn’t mean you have to be mean. Shes asking advice on what she needs to do to get back into her OWN home. Not whether or not what she did was okay.

11 Likes

The laws are going to be entirely dependent on where you live. Either way, you made your bed, now you have to lay in it.

8 Likes

This is my state… google yours

Get divorced, move on

3 Likes

Sounds like your ready to move on … move on

9 Likes

Not sure where you live but in Texas he cannot kick you out especially if your on the lease.

2 Likes

Sorry that’s cheating…emotionally cheating…you were half way there to physically cheating so.

7 Likes

Contact a women’s center & go back to your house ASAP. Contact your landlord/lady and explain what’s going on. Sounds like he’s cheating and fixing it to get you for abandonment AND pay for the divorce.

WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN!! How he’s been behaving over the past several months, what he said, what you said, & give a copy periodically to someone trustworthy. What, when, where, times—approximate if you can’t be precise.

Get a lawyer ASAP & be proactive before he can take any more advantage of you. Is he taking stuff out the house? Get bank balances of ALL your assets IMMEDIATELY so he can’t drain them. Get statements from past months too. Give copies to your trustworthy person. Sounds like he set you up so he can con you and leave you for a side piece.

Were you just talking, or sexting?

Ask if hubs will go to counseling with you. Even if he doesn’t want to work on the marriage. Don’t let up documenting for a year, even if things get better. Even if you get divorced, it’s better if you can be civil to each other. Explain you can be civil and agreeable with each other or give all your money and the value of your other assets to the lawyers. Call your landlord/lady and let them know what’s happening.

Mediators are cheaper than lawyers IF they can file with the court on your behalf (ASK & be sure). If you can divvy up everything without fighting, you can use a mediator or even get away with using one lawyer (Id say make sure it’s you just to be safe, but see if he’ll split the fees with you. If you’re going to bicker and argue, maybe go with a lawyer. Don’t chat idly with your lawyer. You’re often paying for every 15 minutes: use it wisely & use all 15 minutes since you’re paying for it regardless of whether you use 1 minute or all 15. Write questions and answers down so you don’t waste time at several hundred dollars an hour.

Think about how you want to handle custody (physical, medical, decision making). Will he fight you on it? Put in there what you want to have happen when he has a woman spend the night, short term or long term. Want him to have been dating someone for 6 months before she (or he!) is introduced to your child or what? Are you willing to follow that? You don’t have to, but it would be kind to reciprocate.

1 Like

Cant have cake and eat it too. You emotionally cheated and thats just as bad as sexually. Not happy leave easy .

11 Likes

Wow so many judgmental people on here, would it have been any different if it was a woman she was talking to would you still call it infidelity?
Sometimes talking to an outsider regardless of how you met can help because there wont be any judgment

7 Likes

I mean hell if the tables were turned and if you found pictures on his phone you would be kicking him out!! So I believe you got exactly what was coming to you!!

12 Likes

A cop can’t do shit but tell you it’s a civil matter. They tell you he has to take you to court

By law he has to evict you he has to go through Court proceedings because you still live there and your name is on the lease

1 Like

Infidelity??? What? So women are not allowed to make friends with males? Since when? And if ur hubby been so rude and mad about everything it would turn u to find someone to confide in. And was the officer a “male” and depending on what kind of chats also… if you are snapping clean convo’s and friendly. I would think ur hubby has work stress or is cheating himself. But was looking for an excuse to get out. And married equals half of everything unless there was an agreement signed when u married

7 Likes

I wouldn’t want to go back, but make sure your name iui s taken off the lease first thing

2 Likes

If your name is on the lease he doesn’t have a legal right to kick you out. However, I would contact your landlord and let them know the situation and move your sentimental possessions somewhere he can’t get to them. Also take detailed notes of when things went south as much as possible. If you’re in the states I don’t know their laws.

1 Like

Girl divorce that man and live your best life

2 Likes

Get your name off the lease. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. :woman_shrugging:t2: No sympathy here. Clearly you aren’t happy so why even try to go back.

7 Likes

He doesn’t have the right to just kick you out. He would have to go through eviction proceedings

3 Likes

That’s how Karma works. :woman_shrugging:t3:

5 Likes

You made your choices, now you get to live with the consequences🤷‍♀️
#sorrynotsorry

6 Likes

Maybe your skanky ass should go live with the person that you’ve been talking to other than your husband and trying to blame him for nothing

Just move on with your life and find someone that makes you happy.

You’re cheating so obviously you’re not happy in the marriage. Get a divorce and move on and try to learn from it and grow as a person.

4 Likes

Holy what did you say or send to this guy?! Must’ve been pretty explicit for it to be infidelity.
Sad to say but you’re outta luck on this one. He has proof and everything. Just learn from this and move on. Unless you can get him to trust you again you should just leave without a fight.

2 Likes

The damn audacity. The consequences of messing up. Smh
if it were a man these comments would be waaaaaay different. :roll_eyes: