I work 4pm-2am and still get up at 7am to take care of my girls. My husband works days (leaves at 5:30am) and I work nights. He’s making a choice. Appreciating that he’s working does not mean you have to appreciate that he is chosing not to spend family time together. Asking him to sleep 9 hours and spend a few as a family is not a bog ask. Kinda depends on what all you’re wanting from him if there’s more to it. Also him jumping to just kick me out already sounds like there is more not said here either in how you are approaching him about it or what’s going on.
I get people “need different things” but I do what I gotta do even if I’m tired.
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Give him time to adjust. It’s not easy working overnight. I’ve done that for like 3 1/2 years and my man has worked that shift on and off for the last 5 years.
He needs that sleep on the days that he works. Of course in his days off once he gets used to it; then he should get up earlier to spend time with family. Just give him time; everyone is different on how long it takes to get your body used to new shifts.
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I don’t think your over reacting at all.
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I work third shift 9pm to 5am and it is hard. I had to set a schedule I am home by 6am and in the bed. I get up about 11ish to spend time with kids and I lie back down between 4 and 5. With that being said he doesn’t want to spend time with you.
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My husband works from 6pm- 630am 7 days on and then 7 days off. He sleeps pretty much immediately from about 7am till about 4pm and leaves at 5pm… I just let him sleep. On his days off he goes above and beyond to make me feel loved and gives me attention and our 3 kids.
We’ve been together for 9 years.
If you’re husband completely ignores you on his days off also than thats a whole different story.
Also I WOULD be completely furious at him if he responded to me in the way your husband responded to you. Thats just a whole other ball game.
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I work third shift 1030_640 i ger home around 730 i go to bed about 30 minutes after being home and get up between 2 and 3 to spend time with my kids and s/o. After the kids go to bed around 8 i can take a nap if u need. Third shift isnt as hard as everyone is trying to say. it just takes a little to adjust
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No Hun you not overreacting. Me and my husband both worked every shift you could think of so I know how exhausting it can be but I’m a firm believer that no matter how tired you are your responsibilities as a parent DO NOT WAIT! Don’t get me wrong I’m sure he needs time to adjust to his new schedule but that doesn’t give him the right to be mean to you either. Im a SAHM now so I do take on pretty much most of responsibility here but you are not being selfish by asking him to wake up a few hours early to spend time with you. Even a hour is better than nothing at all… Im fine with doing everything at home but I still believe it’s both parents responsibility when it comes to kids. Not having family time is a ticking time bomb. As for the things he said to you I’m very sorry. I wished I knew what to say to help you on that but I don’t other than to talk to him about how it bothers you. Me and hubs has been through the ringer. I used to roll over and take alot of shit from him because I was a SAHM until it got to the point my kids didn’t care if he was here or not. It took that and me filing for divorce to show him he could chose his family or chose to be alone.
How about just be happy and thankful that you have a man that works his ass off? Js
I work a 12 hour night shift 8pm to 8am. I get in bed usually by 9 or 930 and during the school year I’m back up at 245 to pick kids up from school. When school is out I get up around 4 or 5. I have random days where my body crashes and I’ll sleep like 17 hours. I can’t speak for anyone else. I know night shift is different on everyone but that’s been my routine for years.
I’m with you. My husband works night shifts but 7pm until 6am and he is normally awake by midday and goes and picks the kids up from school at 2.30pm if I’m working. He will cook there dinners and get them ready bed everything else he needs to do. 12 plus hours in bed seems excessive to me. If he worked 11am to 7pm would he really need to sleep from 8pm until 9am???
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My husband works from 6p to 6a . And after two weeks of that , he’s on 6a-6p . Swing shifts . Goes to sleep at about 8a . And still gets up around 2pm to be a member of this family . When he works days he stays up til 9/10 to see our kids and spend time with them . So I don’t think that’s an excuse he can use . Yes , night shift is killer , but that’s not an excuse to not be present for your family . I’m so sorry your going through this . It isn’t right . Yes , house work maybe he can slide on . But being a father and being present , no . That’s just wrong and not fair to y’all’s kids .
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I worked 3rd for 2.5 years. It was so hard I still wasn’t adjusted. I never got to see me family and I had only just given birth 4-5 months before I decided enough was enough. My job was too much for me but I also know some people do adjust. I probably wouldn’t give him an ultimatum. Maybe just tell him how you are feeling then leave it at that for a few days. Then come back and talk to him.
Yeah I started night shifts a few months ago and it was terrible, there is really no day. My kids dad stays home. I have chosen to leave him over his lack of understanding of how hard my type of work is and how horrible nights were. It takes years off your life to work swing and overnight shifts. If this isn’t his usual schedule are you able to work with him on reducing his barriers to getting used to this schedule? Ie… extra time to sleep weened down slowly, be quiet when he sleeps, switch your schedule a bit, help him find a new job, facilitate counseling because graveyard switches can cause depression, are you able to work instead, find out and discuss/ agree on what time he goes to sleep, is he getting his awake time while y’all are sleeping? Etc….
Also…
Can you image cutting years out of your life to live miserably while the person you are working to support just bitches. I will never forgive him for this (and much more). If his shifts bother you, you work so he can stay home. Problem solved. 
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My husband worked 3rd shift the first 10 years of our marriage! He needed to extra sleep. If your husband is new to 3rd will take an adjustment period. We made time for us! Would grab breakfast dates when kids in school. Question is how is he spending his days off… If it’s with his family. Then make he is doing the best he can!!
Give him a break or be a single mother raising her kids. My husband worked 11pm to 7am for a while its hard. Maybe you should put yourself in his shoes. Those kind of shifts are insane… even after you’ve slept you feel like your still tired your basically training yourself to be nocturnal… after a while night time starts to feel like day time to you. His response to that was a little harsh… maybe their is bigger issues in your relationship you should be concerned about.
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I work 8pm till 8am. Go home get my kid from my mum at half 8 and soldier on. I’m sure he doesn’t need all that sleep and he could definitely help out more. Unless it’s something he’s not used to or there’s something else underlying going on
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Night shifts are always rough. Our body is naturally customer to being awake during the day, and sleep at night. Research the moon and the sun with the chemistry in our bodies to get a better understanding.
He’s only been doing this job a month so it takes time to adjust. Go a little easy on him for now. It’s healthy to express your feelings of discontent but there’s a time for everything.
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Oh your one of those ones
if he’s working woman fckn moan if he’s not working they still fckn moan 
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No he’s being a jerk. My son works a 12 hour night shift, finishes at 7am, home about 8, asleep by 9. He’s usually up around 2-3pm
He still manages to cook and prepare his meals, go to the gym or training (he’s a wrestler) then home and shower during the day.
My mother worked a night shift my entire life, she would eat when she got home and go to sleep just before noon and sleep for about six hours, she’d join us for our evening meal and go to work for 9.30pm
He is avoiding spending time with family
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Nah see. I was same. I asked why he always gotta sleep? I dont get 8+ hours of sleep.
To hell with the “least you know…” & “let him adjust” comments. Yall have kids. Life dont stop because you choose to work graveyard. And to sleep 12 hours?! Nope nope nope.
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Man, yall crazy. No wonder half of yall get cheated on etc.
I mean, he being a jerk. But because he “the man” he can sleep all day? Why cant she? Who to say this his first rodeo with 3rd? Nah he a AH.
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As someone who used to work 3rd shift, I have to say you’re not over reacting, buuut he still needs a little time to adjust to his new sleep schedule. It took me at least 3 months to fully figure out a good way to get the sleep I needed while spending time with my significant other. At first I legit slept all day, I was so exhausted, granted I also worked a day job and was going to school full time. Just give him a little time to adjust
No one needs to sleep 12 hours .that’s not healthy. He’s probably suffering depression.
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He sounds like a c*nt. I work 10p-6a. My husband works days. We have a 9 and 1 yr old. I sleep 830a-11a. 630p-830p and I survive just fine. Tell him to gtfo
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I was in the EXACT same situation with my husband when he worked 3rd shift. He would sleep for 12+ hours a day, live off of fast food and energy drinks. It hurt our relationship a lot and made me miserable. If I were you, I would try to sit down with him on a day off when he’s been rested and doesn’t need to go to work and ask him to find another job or switch shifts as soon as possible because you love him but can’t handle this “new him”.
My husband became so withdrawn and actually yelled and hit me once.
Seriously have any of you ever done night shifts they kill ya it will take months to adjust it is totally exhausting you’re literally fighting against your body clock
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Apparently you need to do as he says and kick his ass out. Seems like that’s what he wants but doesn’t want to be the one to leave.
That’s alot of sleep, you can make yourself worse having more sleep, but you should get him to the doctors, or have him look out for another job as sleeping day time to night time with no sun is not good for humans, get some mens vitamins too as he might be low on them because he isn’t awake during day time hours, he might be depressed so his body wants to sleep the whole time
You need to chill out. Night shift is hell and getting yourself acclimated to working nights takes awhile and is really hard! How about be supportive and helping him get on track instead of being a selfish a$$hole! Think about what HE’S dealing with instead of YOURSELF. sleeping during the day is unnatural and difficult to get accustomed too, the sleep is not restful bc your body isnt used to it, he’s most likely feeling like crap all night at work bc of the change- on top of dealing with a new job! Get over your petty little feelings and give him a chance to get into a routine that works for him physically & mentally before you start whining and complaining!
I do nights 8 till 8 i never stay asleep longer then 4pm normal awake between 2 and 3 pm. I still do dinner for kids and spend time with them and do some stuff around the house
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No matter what your work schedule is you should be awake during the day for a good 12-15 hours….
Sooo if you consider his work schedule he should be awake and moving around from 9:00 PM - (9:00 AM - 12:00 PM) before going to work and coming to bed.
Doesn’t freaking matter if he works night shift or not. Him staying in bed the whole rest of the time is like someone working 8am - 6pm and waking up at 7am, leaving for work, getting home and going to sleep at 8pm.
I’d kill him. Sorry not sorry.
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Doing nights I never sleep past 2pm. He needs to set an alarm and adjust.
He is using his need for sleep as a way of avoiding responsibility. Seems like there are a few issues you need to resolve. First off no one needs that much sleep. It can have a detrimental effect on your body and mental health. Take it from me I do similar shifts and need 6 hours tops and my youngest is 11 months so I cant afford to loll around in bed all day. And secondly please talk to him and try and resolve these issues for the sake of you and your kids x
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Night shift sucks. And is draining on the body more so then regular day shift.
So I get sleeping alot especially in early days.
I used to so overnight. 10pm to 6am.
Hard work. I had 5 kids.
My husband worked days.
I used to get home. Take kids to school and kinder.
Come home. Sleep until pick up time at 1pm for kinder.
Hubby would get home at 5pm I’d eat dinner and go back to bed until work started again.
It KILLED me.
Then my youngest started school and it was much easier.
Sometimes I’d go back to bed for a few hours before work but usually I’d be OK sleeping just during school hours.
It is hard. But its still important to be an active member of the family. I don’t think getting up around dinner or a little after is to much to ask. And I’m concerned with the comments he has said to you. Not good enough IMO
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I worked night shift (10:30pm-7am) for two years and it is brutal. I sometimes would also stay in bed for a very long time too, but it was bc I would wake up at the 4 hour sleep mark and know that wasn’t enough sleep and struggle to fall back asleep knowing my kids were home from school or I had things to do. It would usually be 2-3 hours before I could get myself back to sleep. It was the absolute worst. You could ask him if this is happening to him. If it’s not, then maybe come up with a reasonable time he should be up so that he can at least see his kids and you before work. I used blackout curtains, noise machine, essential oils, fan, eye mask to help me stay asleep if that helps.
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My husband works 3rd shift also and he works and sleeps goes in at 5 comes out at 4:30 30 min drive to and from work it does get to me sometimes but 3rd shift really takes over ur life I used to work 3rd shift as well and thats all I did work and sleep we spend time on his day off Sunday is all we have but 3rd shift is really hard on the body and mind n if u think about it if he has 2 days off a week its only really 1 day cause he still has to rest the first day off cause he worked the night b4 … In our family we take what we can and understand daddy works hard and works a hard shift
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Give the poor bloke a break . When my husband is on nightshift he does this . He tries to stay away to talk to us for a bit after he has finished work but he is exhausted . I’m guessing he doesn’t work 7 days a week he can help you on other days .
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Give the bloke a break its only been a month let him get use to the shift work then crack a shit
I’ve worked that shift before and it’s not easy. I would sleep all day long. My husband hated me working the night shift. I did my best to not work so many nights. I’m currently off work and my job keeps asking me when and IF I’m coming back. I told them if they had found someone to work nights yet? Answer is still pending. I love my job, but it’s not worth my relationship being at jeopardy.
To me, I think the relationship issues might be keeping him avoiding you/his family (don’t make it right though). Sound like y’all need to hash some things out in a counseling session, maybe. He may be sinking into depression and you may be too.
Why tf do men think that just bc they work a job means they are excused from doing everything else??? Women work full time and then come home and cook, clean, take care of the children/pets, and lord knows what else. Our jobs never seem to end and yet men think that working and brining in money is a good enough excuse to get out of taking care of all other responsibilities. Yes I’m the past the gender roles were for men to work Andrew women to stay home and take care of the kids and clean, but it’s changed so much in recent years. So many women also now work. Men need to do better than this. Sit him down and have a serious chat with him to see if there’s anything else going on, if there’s not then he needs to start getting his ass up before the last minute and helping you out a bit around the house he also owns (im assuming).
I once heard someone say that if the man of the house would disappear (and you were fine financially) and your routine(responsibilities wise)didn’t change much with them gone then there’s an issue.
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As someone who works nights it took me a while to get ised to getting up earlier. You are in a constant state of exhaustion and feel like absolute shit for MONTHS. As their mom I get up but it is still awful as fudge and I live off stackers and coffee. Ik it is frustrating but please remember he feels like death 96% of the time. Try speaking with him but be willing to listen to his feelings as well.
Eta-Im 15months in and I still have 1 or 2 days a wk my in laws keep my kids later if I don’t sleep well or if I’m over exhausted.
He’s practically telling you his feelings. He’s done with the relationship. Divorce him.
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I work overnights. Its rough. He needs to find his medium. I mightbsleep 8-12 hours work days. I go all out on my days off. Sometimes its just a movie on the couch with my kids. I don’t have a partner.
I don’t work night shift, but I work a LOT. All I do, M-F is work and sleep. My husband works at night . So, we literally only really see each other, on the weekends, but since I wake up early, and he sleeps in late, we don’t see each other as much, as we should, even on the weekends. Working, is hard! Parenting is hard! Doing both, by yourself is super hard. Choose your hard. We are all human (man or woman), and your husband has a point. All he does is, work and sleep. I am failing to understand, what the problem is?
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For those defending him. I was a solo mother working night shift then I’d come home sleep , clean and prepare things for my child etc… there’s no excuses for not helping out even if it’s just a little bit. It is draining and tiring. However there sounds like there’s a lot unresolved problems it’s either you both get on board and get it all out or go you’re separate ways
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Laura Downing ugh the night shift!?!?
I can see both sides, nights can be really harsh on the body and in the past I’ve needed the 12 hours just to reset enough to stay awake on shift but conversely you also need your husband and your kids need their dad. I would say you need to sit down and discuss it, is there a chance he could get a job where he works in the day?
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Night shift is rough. Let him sleep. He’s working to support you and the children. Spend time with him on his days off
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Dear looking to cheat . He works do you
When my fiancee worked that exact shift, he would at least stay up until 10am to help with breakfast and so I could do the dishes without having to worry about my little one getting into everything. He would wake up at 5pm to help me after she had her dinner and because he would want to see her before he went to work or she fell asleep and if she fell asleep earlier, he could go back for a nap until he had to get up. It’s called compromise. It’s hard but help is needed. Now he works 7am-7pm… I have no help on days he works. She is only going to be 3, so everything I fun for her especially getting hurt… hope he realizes that you need help also. Just because he works doesn’t mean he doesn’t need to help with the parenting that you do all day long, and possibly night long depending on what goes on with the kids…
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My fiancée just started 7 p.m-7a.m night shifts but he has to leave at 6 p.m because it’s 45 min drive then doesn’t arrive home until 8 a.m. I let him sleep until 5. I deal with our 12 yr old son & 10 yr old daughter. Our son is extremely adhd & seeing a neuro doctor soon as well. His schedule is different it’s not 5 days a week it’s 2 days on then 2 days off then 3 days on. Then back to 2-2-3. Kinda confusing, but I let him sleep. It doesn’t bother me 
but I can say that his off days he works his butt off to be with us & whatever is needed around our home. Got our new pool & 2 weeks ago he came home that morning & went straight to working on it. And some mornings he will sit & talk with me before laying down. We’ve been together 14 yrs in Sept. This is his first time ever working these hours & it’s hard but we will get through it & I hope you & your family do as well.
Edit to add-Not sure about your S/O but mine can be hurt every badly or killed if he goes in tired. It’s happened many times.
It takes time for ur body to adjust to a 3rd shift. Give him some slack till he catches up!
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Cut him some slack he’s working and not cheating. It takes time a lot of time to get into a new schedule. Remember he’s your husband and he’s trying to provide 
more than other men
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If he’s new to night shifts this is the norm. They seriously mess with sleeping patterns and can make you feel so so drained. It takes a while to get used to and even then it is still exhausting. OK I never slept 12 hours after one but that’s because of the way our family set up is and because I’ve never been a good sleeper. If the option was there I’d have taken it!
The issue here is that it sounds like there’s a lot of other feelings within the relationship. If he can say so easily to kick him out and fo you both a favour then something else is going on and he’s probbaly sleeping to avoid those issues. Try to sit him down and speak to him and see what’s going on first x
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Not an easy shift to work. Especially with a family. Give him time to adjust.It literally takes 10vyears off your life,
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It’s been aa month. That’s a huge shift in everything in his life including his sleep pattern. Give it a couple more weeks to start adjusting. Yeah 12 13 hours is excessive and I doubt he’s sleeping the whole time but it’s still soon enough he could be exhausted.
Maybe give it q few days, tell him you’ve thought about it and understand how exhausting the transition can be, and maybe he cqn coke put a little sooner every few days until he’s on a more normal schedule.
It also doesn’t help that unlike a typical job where you have to turn your alarm clock on, there’s next to no obligation to do so the way he is doing it.
Or maybe he cqn stay up a few hours after getting home instead of waking up hours before his shift.
Honestly I feel this dude. 12 hour nights you just want to go to bed and not be nagged about anything. It’s so tiring. Honestly just try and communicate on his days off, the last thing I was doing after work was having a full blown conversation.
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Graveyard sucks!!! I remember working as a single mom with my four kids and working third shift… all I did was sleep and work. My kids, my home, my schooling was all neglected due to needing so much more sleep due to being up ALL night. That and my body’s internal clock just couldn’t ever adjust and get used to it.
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Man I worked 11-7 and I felt delirious without sleep some days if I didn’t get enough sleep I’d cry because I still had to work that night 
A partner working midnights is not for the faint of heart. I have the similar situation. We see each other for maybe 5 minutes in the morning and if I don’t work over maybe 5 minutes in the evening. Its not easy, but when my husband took the job I knew what I was up against. Thankfully my children are not yet school age and don’t have anything really going on that he is missing. Once they get to that age, he should be on days. Honestly if you don’t have a good foundation going into it, midnights will destroy a marriage.
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My 2 years old father started out like this on the night shift… it eventually led to him lying about his hours and getting out of work to go out to the bars with his single co workers while I stayed home with the kids everynight 6 days a week. When he would come home it was the same sleeping for hours while I did everything and same response about the bitching if I spoke up about him not helping( I work too) to make a long story short… he cheated on me and after 6 years and his mom defending him to no end about why he’s so tired he walked out on us 3 weeks before Christmas and still works the night shift and goes out while I have our son. Keep your eyes open girl. Everyone always “ feels” for the dude that works night shift.
My husbands works nights , has done for years, he’s now gone from doing 12 hours shifts to 10 and yes its hard but he’s still fully active around the house and with us as a family. Has done from day one.
He will help like kids school runs, shopping etc I levar the cleaning ironing, kids medical appointments etc for me to do as I find that only fair.
Sleep is important but you both need to find the right balance to.make this work. If you both want
He could be depressed. 3rd shift can be really hard on people. Unless he was always an uncaring a hole before working third shift
My husband works days, I work nights! I come home get the kids to school take one to swimming lessons then drop her at school, return home, do the housework snd an usually asleep for 12… I wake at 3.30 when husband brings the kids home or if he’s in a meeting I get up at 2.45 and go grab them myself… I’m with the kids till 5 when he finishes and helps out then at 7 I take the 2 smallest to bed and grab an hour or 2 nap before I head back to work again
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I’d give him a while longer to adjust. That graveyard shift is a bitch to adjust to. Trust me! I would try to be sympathetic to him adjusting. Kill him with kindness and give him his quiet time to rest and let him know you and the kids appreciate him and miss him. Finances and miscommunication are number one reason for divorce. Good luck.
Night shift is hell on the body. We aren’t programmed for that kind of life anymore. If it’s not his usual job, it makes perfect sense for him to sleep that long. You have to train yourself to be okay with that rhythm and it takes a long time.
It sucks. Trust me, I know. My spouse switches back and forth between days and nights. But it’s hell on their body. Let him be. Ask him for his time on his days off, but don’t expect him to switch back to days for that… If he takes care of himself he’ll stay on a nighttime schedule for days off too. So you’ll have to accept your time being mostly late at night.
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I totally know how you feel. My SO did the same thing when he was on 3rd shift. It was a very stressful times for us, especially as a family unit. I hated it. He’s since gone back to day shift thank goodness. Just keep trying to communicate and pray.
I’ll send all the prayers, and good vibes your way.
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I feel for you. See if you can get him to persuade them to get him on a different shift. This is not good for his health at all.
I hope he can, permanent shifts like this, should be looked at and taken seriously. Wow!
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You could work and let him stay home with the children maybe.
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Honestly 3rd shift is extremely difficult to adjust too and he’s probably just not able to right now.
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I worked that shift on and off for years. It takes time for your body to get used to it. I know for me even if I got in bed by 8 AM I didnt fal asleep by 8. Get blackout curtains for that room and maybe it will help him fall asleep faster and he will get up sooner. I would usually sleep until 3 pm around when the kids got home from school, do homework, dinner etc put them to bed around 8 and try to catch a nap again before going back to work. That shift will disrupt your whole life, especially until you get used to it, get a system down.
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I get he is on a new late shift but tis life. The world doesn’t stop and other responsibilities don’t just go away. My husband worked nights AD in the Navy and he still found time to help around the house and as a member of our family. Yes, at the beginning too. A couple hours out of his 12 hour slumber, he will live. By his response to you, what an ass. You’re asking him to spend time with you and your kids and he comes back with that? Fuck him. Sounds like those 12 hours in bed are a pity party. He needs to grow up. Life is exhausting but we all do it.
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Not at all that’s a crazy amount of sleep. I work 12 hour night shifts and go home and sleep till 2pm at the latest. I don’t have the luxury of staying in bed nor would I even be able to sleep that long if I tried. That’s longer than the shift he is working!
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Working third shifts sucks ass. I work third shift and I’m a single mom of a 3 year old. It’s not easy at ALL. And it takes some time to get adjusted. You should try to suggest he gets on a more set schedule. I usually come home and sleep a couple hours while my son is at daycare, then wake up around 1:00 to go pick him up or a little sooner. I stay up for a couple hours and then we nap together. I am lucky that my son is good and just hangs out while I sleep and he knows to wake me up if he needs to eat or needs changed. I drop him off at the babysitter around 7-8 and go home to get ready for work. It truly isn’t easy, but sleeping 12 hours while he still has a family is a little strange. I would tell him he should wake up and spend at least a couple hours in the afternoon with you guys if he can help it.
At least he goes to work and comes home alot of guys wont even go to work let his body get adjust to the new hours just make sure he eats dinner he will wake up and spend time with the family just gonna take time
Well if hes constantly waking up through the day then obviously he isn’t getting decent sleep. We can’t help when our bodies need rest plus he still probably adjusting to graveyard schedule which is really hard because our brain is set up to be awake during the day not asleep. I say easier on him or he’s going to leave you
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Honestly I could never regulate my sleep on night shift … id sleep like that too 
I’m a mom, that works 1130pm to 730am. Your situation is different than mine. But it took me awhile to figure out how to be awake at night and still get up throughout the day with my kiddos. My husband works during the day, so I have to still be mom during the day. It is totally doable to be able to succeed and be with the family, as well as staying up all night. After he gets more adjusted to staying awake all night, he’ll start being able to be up more in the day. Someday still, I drag allday and sleep when my hubby gets home till I leave. Wish you guys luck, it just takes some time
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It’s only been a month. Having worked this shift it is very hard to find a sleep schedule that works and I’m assuming he’s still just very worn out from it. Be patient. 5 years on that shift I never felt rested. I’d wake up and go back to bed constantly. My eating schedule was a mess and it was the unhealthiest I’ve ever felt in my life. I got up and took care of my family because I had no choice I was a single parent but he has you until he adjusts to a schedule that works.
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My SO was working the same & we were in the same boat. He would work 10-6. I left for work around 7 and he slept until 9/930. We have two boys together. Nothing got better until he switched to first shift. His mood & sleep habits changed!
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I can’t relate to this but I don’t think you’re overreacting. Mainly because the way he spoke to you was so disrespectful. I can totally understand where he’s coming from to an extent because that must be so draining! But you both have kids TOGETHER and they are always going to be both of your responsibility. Period. You deserve a break just like he deserves a break. You asking for your husband to help raise your children isnt selfish or asking too much. You wanting to spend quality time with your husband or have him eat dinner with his family is not selfish. Your children will remember who was there and who wasn’t. That may seem harsh because im sure he is working hard for his family BUT memories and time spent together are just as important as providing for your kids. I hope it gets better!
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It’s only been a month. Give his body time to adjust. Night shift is hard!
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I worked that shift myself for a while. I had such a hard time getting a grip on it. All I wanted to do was sleep. I too had kids to take care of and for this reason I needed to work a different shift.
As someone who works the same shift, let the man sleep. It’s exhausting
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My body just could not get used to the third shift. I did the exact thing till I quit.
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When my husband did nights I never saw him either. And only a month isn’t enough time to get use to it. Yes you are over reacting. If it’s like 3-4 months down the road and still doing it then something isn’t right. Maybe he hates working and depressed……
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Try saying thank you and appreciate how hard he’s working for the family first
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I’m not saying you don’t have a right to your feelings. I just want to offer perspective.
Hes new to this job. The shift is actually tough to adjust to. He’s probably struggling with both alot. If you’ve been together 10 years and have 3 kids together and this is odd behavior, I’d try a more understanding approach.
If he was utilizing his time playing video games, hanging out with friends or willy nilly avoiding his responsibilities id be totally on the #hateman bandwagon.
But he’s literally sleeping.
This job or this shift may not suit your family. It may not suit him. Talk about it from that angle. Don’t put blame on the guy for being exhausted from providing for his family.
Instead of voicing how upset you are at him for sleeping, voice how much you and the kids miss him, and how hard it’s been without his helping hand around the house.
Things will get better, not just as you and the kids adjusted, or he adjusts, but how you all adjust to this change as a family. If you’re kids are old enough have them help out a little more. Or ask family and friends for support.
My SO works a very physically demanding job, 2 hours away from home, and 12 hour shifts. When he gets home he’s toast. And as much as I would do anything for his help at night, I understand that traveling and working safely in that environment requires him to be alert and well rested. It’s not been easy girl. But I know he’d much rather be present with us than do what he’s doing. And that’s his sacrifice for us to put food on the table.
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To give you some hope, my husband was a truck driver, in the winter he was gone for 3 months straight, did that for 15 years we had 2 kids it wasn’t easy but worth it, its been 34 yrs of marriage, wouldn’t change it now, 
3rd shift is hard to adjust to. It’s sucks. I’m a nurse and my first job was 3rd. I had a 12 year old at the time and my husband was in another state on Military orders. Thankfully I had my Sister to help with my daughter. The schedule sucked the life out of me. Some folks thrive on nights. Not me. It. Seems like your husband understands by his comment. Not sure he’s really liking it either. Good luck. God bless.
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and on days off ur whole schedule gets shot again. I knows he’s being a dick rn and he shouldn’t be saying that shit, but you’ve never worked nights you need to cut him some slack he is TIRED. If you have worked nights you should remember this part, it’s awful 
it’s literally exhausting, it goes completely against the human body and human nature to stay up all night and sleep during the day. Sometimes it doesn’t even feel like sleep and you wake up sleeping 8am-3pm feeling like you never slept and by 7 you’re about to crash again. God I do not miss that, I made it 2 yrs on Graves. Somehow