My husband made a comment about my weight: Am I overreacting?

Choose violence, you deserve it.

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Some people just don’t think before they speak and that says more about their flaws than yours :heart:

I’m so sorry, l have been through this, that is not acceptable.

I would be very upset!!

Throw the whole damn man away girl. :wastebasket:

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I seriously doubt he ment to sound like a total jerk. I bet he was trying to be helpful so you didn’t feel uncomfortable while you were out and about.

I’m gonna be controversial here and say why was he wrong? Unless he comments non stop about your weight or wants to leave you then it’s not a weight thing. I am back over 200 even after loosing 40lbs since we’ve been together. I’m heavier than I had my baby and I’m not pregnant! He enjoys the squish and supports me when I’m down about it and supports me when I get on a weight loss kick. At the end of the day my husband is my best friend. Above everyone and if I bought something unflattering or didn’t blend my contour that great i appreciate him telling me so. He knows I want to look and feel my best under any circumstance. I’ve taught him about fashion choices that can show confidence but the fit is everything compared to your body. Was your guy being an ass about your weight? Does he know the numbers? Or does he love you and your body and still wants sex and to go out and just letting you know you’ve picked an outfit that doesn’t suit you’re beauty?

To hell with him if he doesn’t know why you’re upset. Life happens and he doesn’t see to make comments like that. Life is hard, being a woman is hard. Weight loss is hard. Ask him to pop a baby out and just drop the weight after your hormones change and your body has morphed into something you don’t recognize. He needs to learn sympathy/ empathy

No your not wrong but let me ask you this does he still touch you? Tell you your beautiful to him? Tell you he loves you still?.. my husband told me i looked like a peeled banana when i was pregnant with our son and it hurt me so bad i refuse now 12 yesrs later to even wear nighties and stuff it stays with us but my husband still shows me love and twll me im perfect for him your husband may just be brutally honest like mine and sometimes it sucks
And also to help qith weight lose get some chia seeds put them in food while cooking and i put a a half a teaspoon in water and drink them after i let it sit for about 10 mins that helps alot woth weight lose and other health issues

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He is probably frustrated at the gain wait but that doesn’t excuse his insensitive comment. Focus on your weight loss and communicate with your husband. I won’t pretend like 130 to 230lbs is not a huge difference.

Ohhhh mama no you’re never wrong for your feelings
He’s wrong for being an insensitive prick

He’s supposed to be your support and best friend yes he should be honest but not hurtful
He very easily could’ve told you hey baby that’s a little tight instead of hurting and embarrassing you
Sometimes it’s not what you say but how you say it and he should know better
I’m so sorry
And mama if you thought you looked good than fuck him and wear it whenever you want and wear it proud
You deserve better

I would feel the same way, and you’re entitled to that. Yes, it was a rude thing to say, but what are you really upset about? Is it because you feel unattractive? Because that’s not his fault. And it’s not your fault either. Be mad at the fat and use that as motivation when you exercise. Some people forget as they exercise to actually use all your muscles and work hard. I never work as hard as I do when I’m furious. I hope this helps.

I get agitated with mine when he doesn’t tell me if something doesn’t look okay on me. He won’t even say when I ask. Try not to let it bother you, and just keep doing what your doing. 20 pounds down is a huge deal!!

Throw the whole man out. Fastest way to lose weight. I said what I said.

Tell him to try giving birth to 2 humans and then talk to you about weight.

Oh sweet girl, I feel this :disappointed: you’re not crazy, it’s just how we feel when our weight is mentioned. We don’t like it and it’s so hard to fix it! I tried for so many years. In the end I had a gastric sleeve, I weight 120lb now and should be happy but I’m concerned it could all come back! The other day my husband asked if I’d put on a little bit and I was instantly defensive. The feeling remains even after the weight is gone. :sweat:

:smiling_face_with_tear: that comment would never leave my mind, so sorry :disappointed:

He’s so heartless, if you want to 30 at only 5 foot one you are grossly overweight maybe he truly cares about your health nobody at 51 should wear anywhere near that but he is your companion should not hurt you that way

Tell him his dick got smaller and see hos he reacts :woman_shrugging:

I personally would rather my husband tell me whether I look fat or not. But my husband and I are best friend’s as well. I come to him for everything. And he does the same. But my husband has never in 16yrs of our relationship ever told me I was fat nor has he ever called me out of my name. I’m one of fhe blessed one’s. Honey your a beautiful person. I know it hurts. But honestly. I’m with some of these other females here. I would of slapped him. Especially if you didn’t ask his personal opinion.

Ok but that’s messed tf up.

That’s a sensitive subject and he was an ass about it. I had to have a talk with my husband about him getting obese and I guarantee that I approached it respectfully. I was worried about his health.

It was hard for him to hear, but he knew I said it out of love. He’s lost a lot of weight and is healthier. My point is that there’s a way to be helpful and not harmful. Your husband was being harmful. You don’t have to tolerate that, you’re not a lesser person. Be strong and don’t give up. :heart:

Mine said I was fat yet will ask me how he looks in his new clothes I’m disabeled nurse of 30 years it’s hard to get my weight off because of back damage men make me sick

Hell no youre not wrong. Say this… am I bigger or are your parts smaller??? Watch and see how he feels then! Be like… idk homey, I think your dick shrank. :woman_shrugging:t5:

I mean the way he said it definitely wasn’t nice. There’s ways of telling ppl it doesn’t fit their body structure without being so rude.

Find a new husband. How childish can he be!? Honestly you don’t deserve that.

If you feeeeeellllll good from the jump - wear that outfit. Who tf is he to tell you that? Not cool, not acceptable, not the time.

I’m sure somebody else would like them jelly rolls girl… most mother’s have them… I do

If he is a generally loving supportive partner he probably didn’t mean it in a mean way but wasn’t graceful in how he said it … He may have been trying to be helpful but it backfired

He needs to support you, and you just keep working on it and be proud of what you’ve accomplished so far in your journey! 20 lbs is hard to do… and it will take you a good year!

Not me over here telling you to get even :eyes::eyes::ok_hand:
Its not over reacting bc what he said i wouldve popped my husband over bc its RUDE

Tell him when he looks like a Chippendale dancer than he can criticize your weight until then stfu. You gave birth To two human beings. his children, so he should be respectful of you.

Honestly if my husband didn’t think a top looked good one me I would want his honest opinion. Would it be hurtful? Sure, but his opinion would be the one I value the most. And I rather hear it from him than someone else.

First things first! Congratulations on your weight loss! That must feel great and very reassuring that dropping the weight is a doable task.
I suppose you could clap back or crack him upside his forehead for his comment but would that really resolve the real issue? I don’t think so. What he said was the trigger to the real challenge, you losing more confidence in yourself than you wanted to acknowledge. I think you could probably use an outside assistance to help you rebuild your confidence while you continue to lose the weight. I would also suggest doing some sort of self-care/love to relearn how to love yourself. People gain and lose weight all day long and for various reasons. Keep chugging along on your weightloss journey, make better nutrition choices remembering what you choose to put in your body is self-care. Be good to yourself and come back stronger, healthier and happier!
If you feel that you need to say something, put it in a card and say to him how you would want that message conveyed to you and how it felt. Own your choices and your recovery. Best of luck, Beautiful! You got this! We have you! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Tell him to kick rocks dude

That was shitty as fuck for him to say and rude! He owes you an apology and definitely talk to him about how this comment made you feel, don’t let him get away with it.

Quick way to lose 160lb… ditch the husband

Don’t let him get use to making remarks like tht cuss they won’t get better… tell him how u feel… let him know when talking to me you better come for me better… explain things better cuss I got feelings

You need to 1) tell his ass you had two babies.
2) that he is an ass 3) if he doesn’t love you for you then there’s the door
I have been struggling with my weight for 32 years three kids now 32, 26 and 22. My husband loves me for me.
I even had weight loss surgery for ME and I only lost 25 pounds. That was a failure and waste of money and time. My husband didn’t want me to have the surgery in 2012.

If he’s fat tell him the same

Fuck him buy cake. Whenever my husband mentioned my weight I got cake. Hasn’t said anything since and I’ve lost 10lbs lol :joy:

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That’d make me want to just leave. No body that loves you should be that rude to you smh

I’d tell him to go pound sand!! Not worth ur time! Loose the weight for you !!

I’m bigger then you. And if my husband ever said that I’d prolly shank him. 5O 5O somebody better call the popo.

Anyone would be hurt by this comment even if it were true. It’s understandable that it’s made you emotional. I don’t think he was intentionally trying to hurt you though. Men don’t think about the way their words make others feel. They just state exactly what they see. He probably just meant that this particular shirt was the least flattering to your figure and knew that you look better in other stuff he’s seen you in. Men are sometimes idiots though and do not have a way with words. He meant to say “I like you better in _____ outfit. I would love it if you wore that instead.” He just didn’t know how to say that and wanted to make sure you looked your best.

I know you’re hurt and angry right now but when you’re able to get to a calmer place try communicating with him about how your weight gain makes you feel, that you are concerned about it as well and want to lose it, and ask him to help you do that. Work together on ways that he can support you in your goals. Also tell him how his words hurt you and how you would’ve preferred for him to use other words that let you know he still loves you and still finds you attractive even if he didn’t like that particular choice of clothing. Perhaps he can go shopping with you and the two of you can pick out a few outfits that he does find flattering on you.

Find time to work out as a couple in addition to whatever time you can find on your own. Visit your doctor first to rule out any other underlying health issues that could be contributing to your weight gain like thyroid issues, vitamin deficiency, hormone imbalance, or depression. Agree to purge your house of anything unhealthy and eat healthy together. It’s virtually impossible for you to have weight loss success if you are surrounded by unhealthy, quick options that everyone else in your house gets to enjoy. Get him to commit to doing it with you. Get a membership to a gym that’s close by and get him or another friend/family member to commit to watching the kids for an hour while you go.

Forgive him but challenge him to do better.

You’re not the problem; he is.

Tell him that his penis is smaller and see how that makes him feel!

The way he said it was just wrong. So so wrong . Everyone is saying they would wanna know and yes I would too, but really come on. He coulda said it better than that. Fuck outta here

You’re not overreacting at all! That was completely uncalled for. He was and is being a complete ass. If you truly love someone you’ll love them mind body and soul. Not the version you want to love.

Same, had 2 babies in 2016 & 2018 and I just can’t loose the weight I gained 45 lbs total. He makes side comments saying I just want to let my self go. Knowing I’ve been trying… :unamused::weary: plus I breastfeed both them for 2+ years and that always makes me feel like I need more food then normal on top of prenatal vitamins. Idk? I think guys are dicks and couldn’t handle 1/2 the stuff we go through just as a woman.

Tell him “To bad your pants can’t make your dick bigger.” You train that MF now!

My husband doesn’t name a comment about my weight. He never has. Actually he gets mad when I do say something about my weight.

That’s really sad and I’m so sorry you love an insensitive jerkoff who isn’t clearly realizing his words .
Your man shouldn’t even notice you gain weight if they love you for you…

Weight gain with pregnancy and afterwards has a lot to do with hormones. Some of us just take longer for our bodies to bounce back. Mine took 5 years. He’s a jerk! He’s supposed to build you up not tear you down!

Wow, most of ya’alls advice and comments is crazy!
Divorce him!
Leave him!
Reply with hate & sarcasm!
She just asked if her feelings were justified. (Yes they were.) She didn’t say he ALWAYS body shames her every chance he gets.
So easy for YOU to form a linch mob over a husbands opinion & tackless word delivery. I’m not justifying what he said was ok, it wasn’t, but is it worth ending a family???Shame on ya’all! Wow!

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I would have hit him with my “fat rolls”.

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Nope, you’re not. I can relate as.if you were telling my story. This pic was taken six years ago today (popped up in memories) and I absolutely hate it. There’s only two pics of me handing in our new place- one of our wedding day (I was a 14 at the time, 15 years ago) and one taken about two years ago at church, but I’m ‘hiding’ behind my sitting husband. I have lupus, so between outbreaks and needing steroids alot, I look like the :blueberries: girl in willy Wonka. Hubs never says anything because he knows has sensitive and a touchy subject

He is an absolute asshat. He knows where the weight was gained and sees you trying to lose it and then does this? People have been murdered in their sleep for less. He is wrong and and he shamed you and he absolutely needs to know how much he hurt you with his insensitive and down right nasty words. If he fails to comprehend the gravity of this issue I would seriously consider counseling or packing up the kids and yourself and just going somewhere else for a bit. There is zero reason to be mean and hurtful to your partner.

dafuq Is wrong with that boy? Is that how he teaches his children to speak to their mother and others? I’d have told him if he ever wanted a hot meal and a warm bed to enjoy again he’d learn to love these rolls and stfu… he helped create them when he helped conceive those beautiful babies, stand up for yourself and check his rude ass. Phuck that condescending noise. No ma’am

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Your feelings are valid. He may not have been intentionally being an asshole but I definitely would have been hurt.

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If he knows that weight is a sensitive subject he’s definitely being the asshole. I’m am currently the heaviest I’ve ever been and I’m really struggling. My husband needs to choose his words very carefully when he comments on my appearance because he knows how sensitive I am about it

I don’t even know why I am on this page but I am so here is my opinion. As a guy that is not right to treat the ones you love like that. He is mean and cruel for doing so. YOU ARE NOT OVER REACTING With that being said, I have recently lost some weight myself. It has been something I have struggled with all my life. The one thing that I have found that works is the Keto diet. Low carbs with minimal exercise and already lost 50 lbs in 6 months. You can buy ketones drinks at your local Walmart. You shouldn’t try to loose weight to make him happy. There are plenty of men that will love you for you.

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You have every right to be upset and you definitely aren’t overreacting. That’s some small dick energy right there, he needs his ass whooped. You gained your weight birthing his children, sounds to me like it’s his fault. Worry about your kids and yourself, put him on the pay me no mind list. Boy bye

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What a cunt, why would anyone say something so cruel to their partner, not okay!

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Boys are emotionally dumb… Your husband was probably sincerely looking to save you embarrassment. It’s hard for us to view things the way men do and we get our feelings hurt when they just are responding practically. It’s a way hard balance for everyone so maybe just hug your husband and ask for his help in your weight loss journey… Im gonna get he bend over backwards to make you smile again… Also, be kind to yourself… You are a beautiful momma regardless of size! Focus on simply being a comfortable size again… for yourself.
I’ll be rootin’ for ya!
:heartpulse::pray::heartpulse:

He was insensitive AF. If it wasn’t the most flattering there are more tactful ways to go about saying it, but he should be encouraging not discouraging especially since you birthed two whole ass humans and because you are doing something to change it.

That is really messed up. You’re definitely not overreacting. Men are so inconsiderate and don’t understand the sacrifices we make to have their children. You’re beautiful :heart:

That’s a shitty thing to say to someone, but that’s an incredibly unhealthy weight gain. I’m not sure why women use childbearing as an excuse to let themselves go. Pregnancy certainly takes a toll on our bodies, but it in no way causes us to gain weight.
-5’5” 115 lb mother of 5 adult children, with stretch marks, and extra belly skin

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Every woman alive who’s weight fluctuates can relate to your emotions about it. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling the feels, just keep doing what you’ve been doing & you’ll feel comfortable again. I become a hermit when my clothes aren’t fitting and it’s so not worth it. Guys tend to say things that don’t bother them without thinking it may bother us. Even my child blurts out some of what i find to be rude/hurtful but he means no barm & isn’t mocking. They just don’t usually understand why we’d feel insecure. Tell him how it made you feel & ask him to be more considerate. Congratulations on the weight you’ve already lost.

So ???..He’s fuckin perfect is he?.. I’m assuming he IS in fact the most perfect human on the planet …considering he thinks he can speak to people like that…especially his own wife!!! Unacceptable…
I also had back to back pregnancies as well so I totally get how you feel…and now i have hashimotos…I gained quite a bit of weight from that alone… :frowning:

But seriously don’t let that jerk make you cry…YOU make him cry with a bitch slap directly to his bitch mouth :slight_smile:
Goodluck girl. :heart:

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I think it sort of depends if he makes similar type of comments frequently. Yes, men are idiots and he may have not paid attention to the fact that it comes off sounding like an ass, if he doesn’t usually make hurtful remarks. Men don’t tend to think in the same patterns as women. If this is the case, I’d def try talking to him and explain exactly how his comment made you feel.
On the other hand, if he makes snide nasty hurtful snarks like this often, despite being told/asked not to, then yeah honey, you can lose 200# of asshole practically overnight. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

If my hubby ever said that to me he would get a hard punch in the throat nah ur not over reacting not at all…:heart::heart::heart:

You are absolutely NOT wrong! I see there are varying opinions. Mine is that it’s unacceptable! What a jerk!

i think u are. he was telling u he doesn think it looks good on u. :woman_shrugging:t2: would u rather him keep his comments to his self an and let you go out looking terrible. im in the same situation as you are. im at 265 and way over weight. if i wore something that didn look good and showed my fat rolls i would want to know. so yes. i think u are over reacting

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He’s def an asshole for saying that. I agree with some other comments, I’d pop back and say that’s what happens when sex is boring in a relationship, so you don’t burn enough calories :woman_shrugging:t3: but fuck him and that, we are SUPPOSE to gain weight, our bodies are SUPPOSE to change. We’re not going to look like teenagers/going twenties all of our lives.

What an asshole, he could’ve said it in a nicer way… I would’ve smacked the fuck out of him right in his mouth if I was you… you ain’t got no fat rolls when he’s fucking you tho… tell his disrespectful ass to sit tf down​:muscle::facepunch:

Omg no ur not wrong. He owes u an apology. My husband had the balls to tell me what kinda fish I was gonna eat and what time, I wanted a baked fish, he did fried. I said something to him and he turned it around to be my fault lol

Doesn’t bother him when there is nothing covering them, I’m almost sure of it, so he’s worried about other people’s opinions. Sometimes people are just assholes too.

Oh honey I’m so sorry. I’ve put on over 50 pounds in the 15 years I’ve been married but my husband has never said a thing. I’ve dieted off and on and he just supports me. I don’t know what I’d do if he said that. I absolutely see why you’re upset. I’d probably never look at him the same honestly bc you love someone bc of their heart. Huge difference in love and lust.

Omg that’s is a freaking horrible thing to say. And then to say you’re overreacting. This is literally for your date night too. What a prick. I probably would never feel comfortable with him again. That hurts. Sorry girl. I think you acknowledging your weight and doing things neccessary to get back healthy is what’s most important. Let that be your motivation. Don’t focus on him. Focus on you going forward. Because f that

Your feelings are valid.
He is wrong.
NEVER speak to someone like that, ever. Idc if you have skin tough as nails or brittle as glass.

I’m not for shaming back to someone shaming I find that to be childish. Tell him how it made you feel. If he at all cares he will sincerely apologize and realize how words can hurt someone.

Having support while going through any transformation is so helpful but if he isn’t willing to be by your side and be your support it’s time to do some thinking about your happiness and future. It sounds drastic and I know your feelings are hurt but if he doesn’t understand what he did to you, I’d be thinking about my happiness is all.

But I am proud of your progress! That’s amazing. I gained so much and weigh at my heaviest 225lbs and got back down to my “usual” 130lbs through hard work and determination. So dang proud of myself. So I understand it’s tough and not having support. Feel free to message me whenever! I’ll be there because I’ve been there and it’s hard to stay focused and positive at times. You got this!!!:muscle:t3:

He’s being a douchebag. Also he could have been more sensitive on the way he said it. He should not have talked to you the way he did. Your weight does not determine your self worth. You endured two pregnancies for him. He should be grateful you were able to carry children for him. He’s a poor excuse of a man to speak to you that way. He needs re-evaluate his actions towards you. A husband doesn’t disrespect his wife that way. I’d tell him how it made you feel and if he says it’s not a big deal, you can tell him that it is to you and he needs to check himself.

No he’s an asshole. And shouldn’t put you down about your weight size or clothes. Especially while your trying to make progress to your body goals.

When he pulls his pants down say damn is it shrinking

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Definitely a jerk thing to say but keep in mind men also don’t think before they speak but yeah definitely rude regardless.

That was very rude of him! He needs a swift kick in the ass to remind him YOU GAVE BIRTH TO 2 CHILDREN! Our bodies are all different and some of us don’t bounce back after pregnancy.

That would be my last date night with that jerk!:rage:

“Those pants make your d*** look small”

Just give it back then leave him. That’s honestly really crappy. And then gets mad because HE hurt YOUR feelings :roll_eyes:

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Sounds like he’s your ex husband now.

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He’s an ass sorry but there is no sense in belittling you. This is a form of abuse

It is not what he said, but how he said it that would hurt me.

Look I never want my significant other to lie to me about how I look. I am about to be divorced from my first husband who I was with for a terrible 20 years, and am with an amazing man now but neither of them , even the terrible one , made me feel bad about my body. I’ve been lots of sizes and they’ve both been honest. My soon to be ex always told the truth, but never in a mean way. He would say babe maybe that’s not the best fit or that doesn’t really flatter your figure. You are NOT overreacting to the way he responded!!! That was rude and hurtful. I never want to be lied to about how I look, but in general men are mostly idiots

I’d probably say something like “you’re just mad because your dick isn’t big enough to fit through all this” lol.

Man fuck him. Seriously. That’s a shitty thing to say. He doesn’t get to tell you to feel about a crappy comment he made

Even if you aren’t an emotional person it’s not okay for him to talk to you like that or comment about your weight. I’d cry too

He’s a total asshole! I’ve been married 28 years and my husband has never commented on my weight gain or weight loss. I sure hope you don’t have daughters. I’m so sorry he hurt your feelings.

He could have chosen his words a lot better. Don’t give up on you. Keep trying to loose. It’s difficult. I’m still overweight from my lady child 46 years ago. I’ve lost motivation. Your husband could have said I think you’d like to know that the new top isn’t very flattering. Let me help you find a better top. But men are clueless sometimes. Some are purposely assholes. What do you think? Did he intentionally hurt you or was he just choosing a poor way of telling you another top would be better. If he typically is supportive of you, I wouldn’t stay mad at him.

Quick way to lose the extra weight is to kick him to the curb. if he’s got a problem with your body after you created and carried two beautiful babies for him then he’s an a$$hole :heart::kissing_heart:

Guys are stupid, he most likely was just informing you and not trying to insult you. Men are point blank with no sugar coating.

Oh no, sorry honey. He is an asshole through and through. He had those thoughts about yoi before you walked out in that shirt. He isn’t the one babe.

That would hurt me so bad and stay with me forever. My husband said I was fat while I was pregnant 31 years ago and I still replay it in my head. What your husband said was totally insensitive and you’re not overreacting at all.

Yeah… this would be a nope on the tolerate scale. A thousand other ways he could approach this and as you have been trying and losing, it shows the effort you’re making… he’s an ass.