“if you only respect women you find attractive, you don’t actually respect women”
I’d be tempted to throw the whole damn man out sis!
While he has a right to be concerned over that amount of weight gain (health wise) he has no right to talk to you that way or be so insensitive about it!
If you know you have gained weight then take steps FOR YOURSELF to starts feeling better and feel more confident for you girl!
He sounds like a douchebag though.
That would have hurt my feelings too but it would have immediately turned to anger. You are NOT over reacting! If you said “your d*ck seems smaller” would he be offended? Damn straight he would!
Men do not think before they talk. I’m sorry he said that to you. I do not think you are overreacting and you are entitled to your feelings. Whether you decide to continue to lose the weight or not, good luck on your journey!
Maybe I’m the black sheep here but I would appreciate it if my husband let me in on the know. But me and mine have that kind of relationship. Plus he is my best friend so its his way of looking out for me. And yes my husband has told me my outfit shows my pouch… which is what he calls my fat rolls from having kids. I went to change and he asked me why I was changing and I told him you said that shirt shows my fat and never said change wear what you want and be comfortable. Granted I couldn’t be comfortable in it then. But he was just looking out for me. Maybe yours was just doing the same.
Disgusting that he would say something like that. You have every right to be upset! Our bodies are made to go through phases, we need to learn to love ourselves through each phase. You are beautiful regardless of your weight and you deserve respect at all times.
That’s a sensitive subject. It sucks and I’m sorry your feelings were hurt.
My husband is an honest man. Brutally honest he knows I’m insecure about my weight. But whenever I’m wearing something I’ll ask his opinion or he’ll toss it out without me asking. He always tells me if I look good or not in said outfit. Usually stings but I appreciate his honesty so I don’t go out and have to hear side comments from strangers because I wouldn’t be able to enjoy my time out that way.
This hurts me to my core for you. So not ok at all. That memory will never go away. He did permanent damage.
I’ve always liked people to be upfront and not sugar coat stuff but that’s uncalled for. If something makes me look bad I want to know but there is definitely a better way to say it even if you are blunt.
My husband doesn’t say things like that but he never compliments me EVER and he will slyly make comments when I want to have a treat/dessert. I would be so incredibly hurt if he actually commented on my fat rolls. I just don’t understand why some men do this. So horrible. You have every right to feel hurt and upset.
We are all different sizes. That being said I have purchased clothes for myself that didn’t fit quite right and drew attention in an unflattering way. I’m dont think he meant to hurt your feelings but think there is a more tactful way to say that the outfit doesn’t show off your best features. Those under support things do wonders under clingy clothes.
I mean it was definitely crass…but I am on the side of honesty is always best. If my best friend asked me if “this dress looked okay” I would say no. I would ALSO appreciate that same honesty back, despite the pain.
I wasnt ever that small. I was 150/160 and got up to 230 after having my daughter. My husband would never say something like that. I personally feel like that was a terribly inappropriate thing to say to you. You are not over reacting either. I would be beside myself. I would 1000% appreciate my husband talking to me about something im wearing not being very flattering, but that choice of words is very wrong
Why get butt hurt when he speaks the truth? That’s a lot of weight to gain. Who else should tell you? Thank him for looking out for you. Loose that extra weight. Heart disease is the #1 killer of women.
Her husband didn’t make a comment about her WEIGHT, he made a comment about her outfit. This is poorly worded and set-up to trigger people.
She’s not wrong to feel upset. There is a lot of background workings into why she feels the way she does and why his comment feels hurtful. However, maybe he was trying to tell her that the outfit she purchased wasn’t flattering. Granted, he could have had more tact, but men usually are far more blunt about things. Saying something shows off her fat rolls, when emotion is taken out of it, is an observation that something is not fitting her well. If a child had said this to her, we’d all know there was no ill intent and would just brush off that they hadn’t learned empathy and tact yet. When we layer in how she is already feeling about her body, we can understand how this comment is hurtful. But was that his intent? Or was the intent just to point out that what she was wearing wasn’t flattering? Women have a myriad of ways to tell other women the same concept in less direct terms. Maybe he was saying that because he knows how hard she has been working and the outfit did not showcase her progress.
One paragraph, a snippet of one statement, does not give enough information. This is called a witch hunt.
Guess what, all you “truth hurts” people out there - people who are overweight already KNOW they are, and they don’t need YOU, or unsupported friends, spouses, or Jesus or ANYONE else to point it out to them, I promise you. It is NEVER your job and never ok to say a word about someone else’s weight, period. I dont want to live in a world where people feel comfortable with, or entitled to pointing out other people’s physical flaws and think its ok.
This is what infuriates me about people. He may not have meant it to be offensive, but it was taken to heart and it hurt your feelings. Why is it so hard to apologise!? You are still worth love and respect and to have your feelings acknowledged and cared for!
I had a very kind husband who would have never said anything like that to me. I lost him to cancer in 2018 after 33 years of marriage.
That’s awful. He should at least acknowledge it hurt you and apologize
That child you call a husband needs to realize your weight gain is a product of your two beautiful children. Without your weight gain your body probably wouldn’t of be able to produce those two bundles of joy in HIS and your life… your weight does not define your worth. Skinny or bigger your body is BEAUTIFUL your changes in your appearance shows the world that you where a house to two human beings something he could NEVER do
230 pounds or not what your husband said was beyond wrong and he needs to apologize and help you feel better (mentally/ physically) instead of putting you down… I’d honestly sit him down and tell him how he hurt you and that you felt beautiful in that outfit but now you feel like the definition of garbage… explain to him there are better ways to address something like that and how he addressed it was so uncalled for.
My heart broke for you reading this post. You had the confidence to go out and get a whole new top for this date and his reaction was shitty. You’ve had children and after children, body changes happen and it takes awhile for things to find their new normal. Please know you are beautiful and I hope he can learn to be more supportive and encouraging.
That was mean of him to say in that way. If he felt the shirts wasn’t good on you he could of said it in a nice way that didn’t have anything to do with your body shape
Like I don’t really like the pattern or color. Guys don’t I understand how growing a life causes our frames to change
My hubby has never said anything to me and I’ve gained 30 pounds but I’m sure inside he thinks it
I know I think it about how much he had gain which is way more then 30 in the last 14 years
Tell him it hurt your feeling
Mine does the same. I had 3 kids back to back and the last I had pre e so ended up hospitalized. She’s nearly 3 and I have not lost a single pound it seems. Mine will fluctuate between 255-250 but that’s it. Mine brings it up and I already know I’m fat, he dosnt need to remind me
That is terrible. I’ve gained weight since I’ve been with my SO too. But he has never said anything to make me feel bad, rather he says things that make me feel good about being bigger. I’m sorry he made you feel like that, it’s not right
Yea that was pretty shitty to say. Men are famous for word vomit. Whether he thinks it’s a big deal or not he can’t invalidate your feelings on the subject. Let him know “I know you MIGHT not have meant anything by it but that comment really hurt my feelings…etc” explain why. If he’s a jerk then he’s a jerk but hopefully he’ll understand and won’t do that again
No, ur allowed to feel however you want for one thing and for another, that was hella insensitive. Ask if if he’d appreciate you pointing out his less than attractive qualities. “I look fat in this shirt and those tightie whities make you look like a five year old. Don’t be angry or sad cuz I’m just telling you the truth!”
If you’re sensitive about you’re weight keep doing something about it. Stop using your pregnancies as an excuse as to why it happened. Our bodies as women were designed to birth offspring. We just don’t gain 100lbs from being pregnant. Use these emotions to fuel your motivating to change.
It was very insensitive and rude, for anyone to say that to anyone.
Keep a smile on your face and do what makes you happy
You can do it, if you actually want to
Great job on the already weight you’ve lost
I know it can be hard
No you’re not overreacting. I was at the store with my BF and looking for shorts. Im not a shorts kinda person and self conscious about my legs and the fact that i know I’ve gained weight since losing my job. I don’t even know my size and he saw a much bigger pair on the hanger and said look a size 22 there ya go.( absoultely nothing wrong with anyone’s size) I immediately wanted to cry and he automatically knew what he said was wrong and hugged me and said sorry bad joke. I know he was trying to kid knowing I feel like crap about myself. Your husband needs to apologize especially knowing damn well it makes you feel like crap.
You should put Nair in his shampoo… and if possible shave his eyebrows off when he’s in a deep sleep. Problem solved.
Can I be honest here for a second. I feel the reason you’re not losing the weight is because you aren’t valuing yourself and he can be the problem hun. I was weighting in at 338 pounds (my highest weight ever) I felt miserable, unfulfilled, unworthy in my previous relationship then I had a very scary health scare due to stress. Want to know what was stressing me out? My relationship. So I packed my things and left with my 3 kids and moved into a tiny RV. What happened was absolutely shocking I started feeling good and I didn’t even realize I was losing weight till 5 months later I weighed myself and was 270 pounds! That was 68 pounds down in 5 months! What changed? My emotional eating I was having during my previous relationship. I started going on walks with my kids and going out on hikes because I felt better about myself. Now I’m in a amazing relationship with someone that loves me just the way I am, we own a home and are so happy! That’s all thanks to finally realizing my worth and that I’m worthy of Love like everyone is no matter my appearance.
Best thing anyone can do for themselves is to have inmense SELF LOVE and your life will change completely !
2-3lts water, 10,000 steps and healthy food choices will help a lot for u with trying to loose weight. Sometimes it’s the simple method that helps a lot.
As for him. I’d love to see him give birth to 2 kids back to back. I struggled with 1 kid to loose weight so I can only image 2 kids full time.
How ur feeling better.
Im trying to lose the weight but to show my partner i wasn’t attractive after our baby now I’ll try to regain my body back. By then I’ll long done uninterested. Use it as motivation and don’t matter how he sees you . … it’s how you see yourself. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. His opinion will kill your spirit. Ive even felt depression etc. It’s not nice. But don’t let him make you feel like you not worthy. He is insecure, insecure cause he know you still look beautiful and another man gonna treasure our rolls … believe me. I embrace who I am. A body says nothing … it’s what’s in your heart and wear what makes you feel comfy and apt. He knows when you look y good he scared another man be looking if he loves you the weight shouldn’t be a factor. He should love you more and there is more to love than he can handle. You deserve better as do I. Much love and hugs
Men don’t understand that having children PERMANENTLY changes your body, especially how it distributes fat. He should be grateful that your body brought 2 lives into this world. If he’s truly concerned about your health, then he could have approached it much more tactfully and with respect. But by what he said, I don’t think your health is his main concern or reason behind the comment. I would have a serious discussion with him about what he said, why it was wrong, and why it upset you, then go from there. You are already working on losing weight and that’s difficult on it’s own. It’s much harder when you have little ones.
What an awful thing to say. I would like my man to tell me when something isn’t flattering my body shape, but not be rude. My body is unrecognisable to how it was when I first met my partner, and he still looks at me like a goddess with all my rolls, stretch marks and mum tum. It’s all about the positive people you surround yourself with, honesty is the best policy but only when shared correctly.
Tbh I don’t think it matters how he said it, she is very sensitive about it. He could have been nicer and she still would have been upset. They just need to have an honest convo about how they each feel about her weight. He may not be bothered by it and just wanted to let her know that the outfit did not flatter her because he knows she is sensitive about it. My husband grabs my thigh or butt all the time and I ask are you grabbing my fatness and he always says my sexiness. Granted I’m not overweight but I am somewhat insecure sometimes. Besides men don’t know how to speak right anyway.
My bf at the time told me I’m the biggest girl he’s ever been with. After having two kids. Well I never got over it. I had two more kids now at 257. And he’s an ex now not just the hurtful comments but I feel after that specific comment I didn’t like him since. Like my body looks this way because I had children for us. If the roles were reversed and he was the one that gained the weight I definitely wouldn’t have said that. Ever. It’s common sense. Don’t talk like a jersey to the person who beard children for you. Its alot on a mom.
Definitely a reason to cry. My husband usually tugs on my rolls or my face when I gain weight that’s how I know I’ve even gained any. I HATE IT. But regardless u gave life he should love u the same no matter what but if it hurt u that bad maybe u should do something about it, and I mean it in the most kindest of ways. I’m barely a month and a half in on my weight loss journey and I’m more determined than I have ever been. Good luck to you dear.
i mean, you carried HIS children… that doesn’t sit right with me. multiple red flags. the comment about your weight AND telling you you’re overreacting. do you guys have a daughter? ask him how he’d feel if a guy said that to his daughter…
I would wear the shirt and go out for dinner with friends instead. There is so much misinformation on this post. Fat doesn’t =unhealthy. If your weight bothers him, there are a million other ways to say it. That was cruel and unnecessary. Personally, I think there are some deeper issues there and would suggest counseling for both of you. Main point: you are NOT being over sensitive. He is cruel.
Not one bit, he has no right to make you feel that way, he’s way out of line!!
You have earned that body by carrying and gifting him with 2 beautiful children. He should respect and love every inch of you. If you want to and feel you should loose weight that is your choice and not his place, he did not have to literally rearrange his entire body to carry life he should check himself before he hurts you like this.
You are always entitled to your feelings. Your husband, family, friends, and strangers are going to think whatever. Let me ask this, would you rather your husband told you that and you change into something not so “showy” of what you already think of how you look? Don’t give it too much attention, and work on what you’re doing right now. Let it be your motivation. Then, do your before and after like bam look at me…can’t tell me nothing!
I’m the same way…when we got married I was 145 (I was running 3 miles a day until then) I have had 3 kids & I weight a little more than u…my husband never says anything about my weight loves me for who I am not what I look like…I’m the one that has the issue of how I look…I would try talking to him & tell him that he hurt ur feelings. Body shaming was ok In The 60-70s but not anymore!! Your beautiful how u are!! Tell him to go suck an egg & do u girl!!!
It’s so hard trying to lose baby weight, without support or back up from those most important! I’ve been there & had it… you need to lose weight for you! You need to be in the right headspace.
So far I have lost 83cms & 1.5stone and gained hugely in confidence & energy ! My coach is really friendly + supportive, and I’d recommend her in a heartbeat! Listen I don’t know if you’re looking for similar results but if you’re interested and want more info, I could happily pass over your phone number and she’ll give you call this week sometime. Xx
Been there done that you had kids you are going to gain weight it’s natural some women don’t just bounce back to what they were you gave him children with those “fat rolls” so he can either support you and not make you feel like shit or find someone who will make you feel beautiful no matter what
You have every right to be upset & feel what you feel when the one person whose opinion matters to you says something hurtful, even if it wasn’t meant to be. It’s hard to love your post baby body, especially when you’ve had 2 in close succession, which I did too. It’s even harder to find the time around those children to exercise & diet right. Be kind to yourself. This body that you are unhappy with, housed 2 beautiful babies & gave them life. That is beautiful & you are beautiful too.
How about tell that four-legged jack-wagon to pull his head from his sixth point of contact and take responsibility for being absolutely horrible! Your husband is gas-lighting you by telling you’re overreacting. You’re not overreacting, you’re not overly-sensitive or whatever other kind of bull-pucky he wants to pull out of his gas-lighting for amateurs play book. He should apologize you’re not there for him to take a dump on ! I understand that sometimes people can be oblivious when it comes to being sensitive but when he realized you were hurt he should’ve apologized instead of blaming you for his blunder.
Your not wrong to feel that way and he shouldn’t have said that to you either he should be dieting with you and encouraging you to keep going not dragging you down
No, you’re not wrong, you have every right to feel this way. How insensitive and mean a thing to say. You gave the man two children, of course your body has changed!! I’m sure you are beautiful.
No, you’re not overreacting. As someone who has been criticized about my weight my entire life, I get it. Now, I’d clap back if my husband or anyone else said anything about it. I have eyes… I know when my fat rolls are showing. They were also showing in all their pasty white goodness in that 2 piece last week.
I’m sure he regretted his comment as soon and he said it. Guys can seriously be so rude and not even mean to. I think he should be apologizing for sure. We know what our bodies look like, we don’t need to be told. tell him he’s an ass. Cry it out and then tell him ur going to buy 2 new outfits that make u feel like the damn godess u r
I’m self conscience about myself, always have been and before my husband, my appearance was EVERYTHING to past exes. As my husband and I both have changed in appearance he NEVER has anything negative to say. I would let him know how much he hurt you. Sometimes they know then sometimes they don’t care-best of luck to you
I definitely understand it can be overwhelming however you must try to do something about it so you can get rid of it moderately healthy
Lose weight for your own health and if you want to lose weight don’t do it to please anybody else! Maybe talk to him remind him you are trying for yourself but it’s hard he could find better and encouraging words like him going for walks with you or cook you a healthy meal instead of tearing you down. Sending you positive vibes
I’m sad for you he shouldn’t have said that , that’s awful & I’d venture to say he probably doesn’t look like he did when y’all met either! You do you and try not to let his words get you down!
I already know I’m going to get tore apart for saying MY opinion but here’s my 2 cents anyway…
I am a big girl myself so I can 100% relate to her insecurities and hurt feelings… But… It’s not really fair to automatically assume the husband is a cruel and emotionally abusive man without really knowing him or getting some sort of personality description first!
There’s also that possibility that he cares about her self-esteem just as much as she does and he wasn’t going to let his beautiful wife step out into the judgmental public without first letting her be aware of a potentially unflattering situation at hand.
And yes maybe he used a bad choice of words in the moment…but we have all used bad wording at some point or another. But I don’t think he ment to hurt her feelings nor does he deserve to be divorced for the mishap🤷
That would make me cry! If you’re actively working on it, and even if you weren’t, that is not something he should say to you. Have some tact dude! I’m sorry but he sounds like an asshole. Just my opinion.
Maybe how he said it was a little blunt. But for me I’d… be upset (because I’m body conscious as well) but I’d also be grateful in a way. We all do it when we go clothes shopping… we say “how do I look in this?” expecting an honest answer because we don’t want to walk around looking like an idiot… well that’s kinda what he did… eventhough you feel good in the clothes and he could have let you be you, he probably just wanted to point out that it looks a little numpty. I don’t think he meant the “fat rolls” part in a mean way… that’s likely just him speaking before engaging his brain. Either way, don’t let it ruin your evening
I say diet and workout to prove him wrong. Not just for that but for yourself and your kids. Health wise. Then go buy you the sexiest little black dress and as his mouth drops the floor, tell him he’s babysitting, its GNO And not to wait up
Some husbands don’t realize that we as women know when we have our weight on and we may feel like crap and for him to say something about it was cruel he should be helping you and not just feeling like it is okay to hurt your feelings.
You have to have a conversation with him and let him know that was unacceptable for him to say and you will not accept that kind of behavior or comments
Do not let his remarks define you. Go buy some sexy gym clothes, he gets to fix supper and take care of the kids while you go to the gym, mall or wherever you want to burn some steam and calories. See how he likes them apples.
I went from 140 to 240 after 2 kids as well…lost weight,got down to 168 gained it all back and now back down to 224. My husband doesn’t say anything about my weight, other then he doesn’t like skinny women but if he didsay something I’d probably cry to. Don’t let it get to you though, talk to him and let him know how you feel. Gaining that much weight after having kids sucks (bc obviously I know the feeling). Your weight doesn’t define you!
First off— you are not wrong to feel anyway— you’re feelings, no matter what, are valid; never let anyone tell you that you don’t have the right to feel any kind of way. Second, if I was you, I’d drop roughly 150- 200 lbs real quick , and tell him not to let the door hit him on his way out boy byeeeee
Is he perfect? Does he walk around with a 6 pack and bulging biceps? If not, he can lose the disrespect and go work on himself. Right away he already needs an attitude adjustment. You gained weight due to childbirth not pigging out on junk food. Ask him wtf is his excuse?
NO you are not overreacting. He should know that it’s clearly a sensitive subject for you and addressed this in a healthy loving way. Good luck with working on your weight. Don’t give up and do this to make yourself happy and not anyone else.
Definitely a dick comment. Idk if he’s in shape or not but, remind him that its easy to complain about something, as opposed to doing something about it. If he has an issue with it, tell him to get his ass up and help you with your fitness goals.
I feel bad for y’all on here thinking it’s okay for anyone much less your own spouse to talk to y’all that way.
There’s a difference in being concerned about health and making a rude comment about how someone looks.
To the OP, you deserve someone better. No man that loves you should ever make you feel worthless ESPECIALLY knowing that you have been working to loose weight anyways.
If my husband everrrrr spoke to me that way, we would be divorced.
You absolutely aren’t wrong for feeling the way you do!! That was so wrong on so many levels hun. I wouldn’t be ok if my husband said something like that. Instead of being mean he could get off his ass and help you lose that weight. Encourage you and motivate you. I’m so sorry you didn’t deserve that
That would have broken my heart too! Girl, don’t get down! Let it light a fire in you to do what you need for you to be happy, but do it for you! I had something similar knock me down, so I started intermittent fasting, drinking exogenous ketones, doing CrossFit, running, walking, cutting carbs, and I am back to my pre-baby weight. It’s so hard to do and I know your heart hurts because mine did too for far too long, but you will feel amazing when you get healthy and energized for you! Take control and hold your head high!
Wow…I’m in the exact same boat…gained a lot of weight over the past 2 years…about the same height as you are and gained about the same weight as you have…my husband still whistle’s at me everyday…STILL “cat calls” and what not when he catches me coming out of the shower…your not being over dramatic …that shit is RUDE and uncalled for… If he didn’t think that the skirt was flattering on you, there are a million and one other ways he could have told you that it was unflattering. I would be upset if my husband let me leave the house looking like a hot mess! But I think I would be even more upset if he told me with those words that your husband used… That’s disgusting that he said those words to you. I am very very sorry
No you’re Not wrong to be upset!! That is a shitty, disrespectful thing for him to say to you!! My man would Never speak to me that way, and I am much heavier than you are. I’m sorry he hurt you.
He is supposed to be your support team not a fk g critic. Tell Adonis to kiss ur butt. Get some help losing the weight and dump him for a younger, kinder man …just sayin❤️
That would’ve been end of date night and we’d be sleeping in separate areas until he could learn to respond appropriately… my husbands knows I struggle with my weight. I have health issues that make it super hard to loose but super easy to gain… a good way to loose weight Would be to drop that man if he keeps talking like that…
Definitely not overreacting. Everyone is self conscious about something. Saying something like that should never be ok.
Make a stand for yourself that you won’t take that type of verbal abuse. Not saying he is consistently verbal abusive but saying that is. It’s not constructive. It’s just plain hurtful. It also doesn’t mean that your husband is a horrible person. It means he isn’t being thoughtful about his words.
And if you don’t make a stand for yourself then make a stand for your children’s’ sake. You wouldn’t want him to ever hurt them by saying something like that to them.
Y’all are pretty harsh… Dude probably loves his wife and remains attracted to her regardless of a few extra pounds… Is it so hard to believe he meant no harm and in is complete love with those few extra pounds? What happened to being on the same team as your partner and viewing them as a friend?
Obviously he wasn’t gentle enough. But if you admit you’re bigger than before, you’re working on losing weight and he knows you’re self conscious about it, then he was probably pointing out that that specific outfit was not the most flattering for your body type. Now, I would have been upset as well and it is right for you to be hurt because he didn’t process what came out of his mouth. Ask yourself, would you let your husband go on a date night wear something that does not look good? I know I wouldn’t.
It’s all about communication, he needs to know that yes, being honest it’s great but there’s a fine line between honesty and cruelty and he needs to work on that. And you need to take his words as “the person who loves you the most should always be honest with you.”
PS: if those comments happen often then there’s a bigger issue here.
You aren’t overreacting! If he’s wanting you to change and diet when you don’t want to that’s not okay either. I have learned to appreciate and accept my body for the way it is (yes even after 2 kids) plus with age weight gain is common…it doesnt matter how much I diet and exercise I still have fat no matter what. I’m not saying letting go but why care what other people think and if you husband can’t accept your weight maybe it’s time to rethink the marriage because that’s emotional abuse. Be happy the way you are!!! Screw what others say even if it’s someone you are with.
I guess my husband and I have a very different relationship because we believe in being absolutely honest with eachother. We will tell eachother if the other doesn’t look good, if the other stinks, has a booger, is getting fat, or if a piece of clothing just doesn’t look good. If you can’t be honest with eachother then why be married is just how we feel. We have been married for 10 years though and it taken time to develop that mentality, but we have a very open and honest relationship. Now we don’t come down on eachother, just help one another out.
He could have used more tact in saying that shirt didn’t compliment your body style. - but a side note, talk to your doctor about your cortisol levels. That’s #1 reason why women can’t lose weight from children, stress, etc. I take Ashwagandha (herbal) and have lost easier than just dieting and exercise. Yes I still do those too, but better results lowering my cortisol.
I don’t think men truly understand what we go through when we have children. Their part is minimal compared to our body, hormonal, mental changes.
Screw that, throw the whole man away and you do what’s best for you wether it’s toning up or just being ok with your natural motherhood figure…how about when you see him in his underwear tell him he doesn’t need that much room and make him double think about how he talks to you…pshhbb
My first reaction is he probably didn’t mean it the way it sounded. You probably feel more self conscious about the weight and that’s why it bothered you. I’m sure he loves you and that’s what he sees when he looks at you still!! LOVE not fat!! If it’s a topic around the house he probably didn’t think it would hurt your feelings like it did. Tell him and then decide if he should die.
No one can take it away from you if your feelings were hurt… they’re your feelings and they’re not wrong. Maybe he didnt realize how it sounded to you because it wouldnt have bothered him if someone had said that to him. Try expressing differently how it hurt you, that you understand you’ve gained weight but you need to be supported by him in another way. Tell him, otherwise he wont know how
My husband wouldn’t have teeth left
I like my husband to be honest with me,I tell him not to let me embarrass myself…BUT…he’s never rude about it! &until I told him to be honest with me,he always just supported me…he didn’t put me down!
If he has an opinion it’s “why don’t you try on for me?” &he gets my wheels turning without offending me
Absolutely he’s outta line, men are blunt, but you know what, you can too.
Put him in a diet, a physical diet, give him nothing no sexual emotion or physical either.
Work on yourself, he will change his attitude quick enough.
Make him feel like you did!!!
Our bodies will never be the same after having children, doesn’t mean we can’t feel good about ourselves, do what you can to feel better about yourself an be proud…
#yougotthis
Never question if your emotions or feelings are valid. They are always valid!
I’m sorry his words weren’t nice. He should have kept it to himself and complimented you. I lost 45 lb on the keto diet in just 1 year. If you like abs need help, I’d be more than happy to give you guidance and what worked for me. YouTube and google it first though. I would nicely tell him how hurt you were by his impulsive words. He needs to know
I’ve gained weight with two babies, hormones, ivf, losses. Currently seven months pregnant. We are hard on ourselves and it’s on the people in our lives to love and accept us for who we are. He might have said that to have your back as in don’t wear that because it doesn’t fit or look nice. But he should have said “that top doesn’t accentuate you nicely let’s go find something in your closet that I love when you wear”. If something didn’t look nice I would want mine to tell me but certainly not like that, I’d be crying too.
If it were me I’d be happy he told me my outfit looks bad. I am not you though and don’t have the same thoughts or traumas as you do. I always ask my husband if an outfit makes me look fat… So it wouldn’t be weird if he told me I looked fat in something without me asking. If didn’t always ask n he just randomly said it I might be upset. I also let my husband know if something he is wearing looks bad.
Yes that hurts.
Lose weight with keto or etc.
Stay strong and get your old self back.
If my husband said that I would cry also. But if I purposely asked if it looked good I would wNt his true answer
Honey. You must have been looking good I would’ve left it on for date night and shake my butt a little harder everywhere we walked lmao. Girl. Don’t let that a hole make you cry you are beautiful because you are a queen and don’t let anyone tell you other wise. Let the roll show thick is in.
Your not wrong! that was a dick thing of him to say on his part! That would upset any women!!!
I actually get mad at my hubby for not telling me this stuff if I see myself in a pic and don’t like the way the outfit fit me…… that said, he could have been more sensitive about HOW he said it.
I know how your feeling, I want you to know you are not worthless GOD created you from begining till the end you are beautiful no matter what size you are. Unfortunately you will never feel the same about your husband as someone else said the damage was done
Tell him thank you for appreciating all this beauty. The woman he married, the body that bore him two children, the body that is working to create a smaller you and is succeeding, the body that was feeling confident to dress for him and feel sexy for your date, the body that allows you to work, cook, care for children, have intercourse with you, to do laundry and everything it does each and every day. I have an amazing body. I am smart, I am kind, I have feelings. You mister have overstepped. I maybe insecure about this body, but I own it, it’s mine and it’s beautiful for so many reasons. Love my rolls, I do!! Then walk out of the room. Let him simmer with what you had to say.
You see. I live with chronic illness. I live in my bed. I’m jealous of the gifts your body blesses you with. I wasn’t able to have my own children, I can’t shower or care for my hair on my own, I can barely do stairs to get me in my house, let alone cook, clean, laundry, sex, go shopping, drive.
Sister. You have a beautiful body and it does remarkable things. Love it. We are all a work in progress. Don’t let this set you back. You dig in your heals. You LOVE yourself. Water, exercise and eat the best you can. Choose to love that body that cares for your kids. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. You are NOT a blouse.
You are not wrong to feel this way. It’s how you feel. But it’s all ready in the past. Move forward and work on loving you. Choose positive thoughts. I’m loving on you and praying
No, your not over reacting. It’s ok for your husband to be truthful with you BUT he should have kept his comment to himself and as his wife he should have just said how beautiful you look. He should apologize because it’s how you feel. He can’t say how YOU feel. Husbands can never understand what it is like to grow bigger as you are pregnant a few times and not feel or look like yourself, this is a woman’s burden.
His comment was a total asshole comment. My husband would never think it’s ok to be so disrespectful after going through all of my pregnancies. You had his children. He should show more respect. It’s definitely not easy for us women.
I have a bunch to say about this because I went through it. Not so much the weight gain, but the not understanding time away from him and the house
Your true love would love you no matter size, health or wealth you have.
One thing is for him to be concerned about your health but that was comment directly at your appearance and that’s a No No. His job is to love and support you and to make you feel like the god divine blessing you are and nothing less than that!