If you’re already doing it all on your own then get rid of him. Sounds like you don’t need him
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You are a strong woman and your on your own now, you can move on with or without him. I would say it’s his choice if he wants to join the family and be a dad and provider, stay n help if not bye bye. You should be appreciate with love n respect, if not there are men out there who would love to have you n his family. Support is out there to help you thru this!!! Good luck
Oh sweetie,don’t live like that,your already doing it on your own,get rid of the extra load,fear stop so many woman from leaving,just remember if you think he will change,it Won’t it will just get worse as time goes by.A leopard never changes his spots! Get out,get counseling,and enjoy who you really are!
Why are you still there?
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I went through this… you’re a single parent honey.
You’re caring for 3 children. One of whom isn’t yours to raise. That child should have been raised to be a man by his own mother. When I look back I just see all the time I wasted and wonder why I didn’t get out earlier. I was alone and coping alone throughout the entire relationship, and it sounds like you are too. He can still be a parent to his children if he chooses to be. He just doesn’t get you and all your support. You’re worth more than this!
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Sounds like you can manage without him - do it. Trust me, you will be amazed at the weight lifted off your soul. Good luck!
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You really need to read what you just wrote and ask your self does that sound like a healthy marriage… then you need to go seek an divorce attorney or just kick him out.not trying to judge you, because I understand completely about getting your self through school… and you have a job and kids, been there done that. I didn’t a husband nor grandparents…
I did it alone… if you leave I promise things will get better. And your going to school to better yourself for your children’s lives and yours.
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A leopard doesn’t change its spots. Get out for your sake & your kids. Sad but wishing you all the best…
You deserve soooo much more
Fuck him off he doesn’t deserve you or the kids 
Kick the bum out! You are doing all by yourself anyway!
Im so very sorry for you both as raising a family and living life is extremely difficult. Wondering if maybe you both can sit down and talk through ways you can help eachother lesson eachothers load a bit and explain what could help eachother out the most. Maybe couples therapy if you find you cannot talk it through yourselves.
Sounds to me like you both are batting things and could use some extra help to get you through this and the blame game doesn’t help couples communicate rationally. Couples are supposed to be a team and in order to be that we have to be open and honest but in a calm, understanding and compassionate way.
Wishing you both the best and maybe some of your friends and family could help with advice or a couples counseling.
Just an outsiders point of view
Take care and Wishing you both the best 
Answer is Written in your story. Your doing it by yourself…
Leave him that’s absolutely awful. He shouldn’t be treating you like this and if your not happy you shouldn’t force yourself to carry on in this relationship. The fact he’s still with you but refuses to provide for his own children speaks volumes. He’s a silly kid still who thinks he doesn’t have any responsibility. Ditch him honestly you deserve better 
!
Kick him out you both decided to have kids therefore why he feels you should do it all is beyond me. Sounds like your better off without him. Don’t live like this for longer then you have it life is to short. Good luck with it all
What’s the worth of being 2gether if he like that? That kind of husband is Totally a garbage… leave him!! Don’t see him, dont talk to him. Dont show your children to him… you will see his life will be miserable.
What else do you need for him to present you the other woman, stop it with the blind eye, take care of your kids and get rid of that snob.
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You need him in your life … why? You’re already on your own. Leave … you definitely deserve better than an absent drunk
You’re doing everything on your own anyway hun,do you really need a extra man child to raise to kick his ass out the door you’ve got this
Girl leave him, he sounds like a burden. If he is not helping you…. You can do bad all by yourself! He is a burden.
Be upfront with him. .marriage is all about communication. Tell him if he can’t step up and be a member of the family that you are done and he can move out and stay with his parents. Don’t raise your voice…just state calmly your case,that you work go to school,take care of the home,children and everything financially. He entered into a partnership and is not acting like one. I wish you the best,you deserve to be happy.
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You already got to take care of yourself & 2 kids you don’t need a grown ass adult to look after too, he should want to provide for you & his kids. If he ain’t doing that off his own back then both you and your kids deserve better. Kids pick up on this sort of things so staying with him might only cause more damage in the long run for the 3 of you
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Tell him to go. You are already doing it alone. It will be much easier with him gone. You look after you and your kids.
You are already doing it alone. Kick him to the curb. Whats the point having him there? When hes gone all the time and not helping. Girl you got this. Just need a push to stand up for yourself. You are a great mom and women. Do what you need to do.
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I went thru that and realized I didn’t need him since I was doing everything anyway . You know what , leaving him and that situation was the best thing do for me and kids ! Hope this helps !
Leave. You’re already supporting yourself and the kids.
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I say get the hell out
Leave him. Get child support and move along with your life.
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Yep, we’re done here…
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Kick the lazy shite out your doing it all on your own anyway so why stay with the useless lazy arrogant piece of crap. Get on with your life without him you and your children deserve more!..
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You can do bad by yourself time to leave or show him the door
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Then why are you putting up with his crap. Kick his ass to the curb. Basically you are doing without him anyway. There are probably other women so don’t be surprised when you find proof.
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So he’s your husband and kids father not a bf 
… That’s concerning… Why did he marry you, what’s the point of him being there?
Since you’re doing it alone you don’t need him…I will help you fill out and sign the divorce papers he is dead weight in you’ll be happier without him trust that.
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Y’all further confirm that I’m making the right choice to be single with no kids. Men are selfish. At this point, you can do bad by yourself. You don’t need an extra adult to take care of. I guarantee he’s probably cheating on you too.
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Suspicion is he’s cheating and isn’t supportive of you or your children whatsoever, so what’s right for yourself and your children’s future and leave. You’re already supporting yourself and the children why do you need him for? He isn’t around and he isn’t helping you at all.
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He doesn’t want this life. Ask him to make plans to move out. He doesn’t love you. Why stay married. Why stay miserable. Our children feed off of us good bad or otherwise and if you are in this deep. You’re doing no good to your children. Put them first and ask him to move out and file for divorce. Www.legalzoom.com
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Courtney Morgan exactly listen to her.
Kick him out! You’re coping well without him even though he’s there! Surely won’t be missed 
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… man child!!! No way in hell would I stay. I left such a man who displayed selfishness and financial abuse. Thought fishing 5 hours a day, practically every day was gonna work for me. Lol
Oh… but, I should just be happy staying home caring for the house & our son. I shouldn’t want for more! 
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Does he pay rent? Does he add to your joint bank account? If not, he has an account somewhere. You do the laundry so start going through his stuff and find out where. As his wife you can access it. Shrug. Just saying. Fair is fair. Is you are buying the home, is it in both your names? If you are doing the buying, his name goes off.
I know you are remembering the love that use to be there and want it back. But if you have tried and failed at rekindling it, of giving him focus time aside from school and kids, then its time to let go of him. He’s moved on, just hasn’t moved out. Time to make your own plans .
Leave him, you are doing it all alone already, get him out of your life so you and kids can work on being happy.
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I think it’s time to go.
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Get rid of him, lazy pig
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Definitely could be more to the story. But he could be struggling with his own depression too. Men are not wired the way we are and definitely do not operate the same either. Have you Tried counseling? But if he works and doesn’t give you money, that’s not a team. You definitely have to make a decision for your sanity and happiness, it trickles down to the kids too. Definitely time for a change and sit him down and give him an ultimatum maybe? Good luck, it’s not easy I know.
Are you scared of him huni !!?
I agree with all of them! I did it. You can too! After listening to my kids as adults now. I’m glad i left. Its better they find their own relationship with him in their time and not one forced onto them that’s unhealthy. Good luck
You thought him how to treat you showing him how much you can tolerate… the disrespect from him is in another level. You need help?? Divorce, you’ll see how your exhaustion and depression are gonna disappear, you might gonna be tired, but not like you ate now. He’s draining your soul.
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He’s not a husband, he’s a burden. Divorce him.
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If your already doing everything on your own it sound like it’s time to purge some stress and kick the garbage to the curb. Seems to me the only thing he’s good for is adding stress… You and the kids don’t need that. So he either grows tf up and pitches in as your equal partner or leave! No one deserves all that, your suppose to be a team.
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Time for him to leave
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I see no reason for him to be there if you’re the only one responsible for taking care of everything….Drop the dead weight & the stress of it….Good Luck with everything🤗
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Girl get rid of him you deserve better
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Where are your boundaries? Why is this treatment acceptable to you? If it’s not, you must start using boundaries. Start by changing your language. You said you “have to” take care of all these things, including him. You do not “have to” take care of a grown ass man. These are things you have been convinced are your responsibility, and they are not. You have power, but you don’t recognize it. Get to work on building your boundaries and self esteem so you can learn to protect yourself instead of only protecting your husband’s entitlements.
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He’s toxic and a drain on your whole like and will continue to be until you change it. Finish your classes and check into a good church community:pray:
He doesn’t care. File for divorce and put him on court ordered child support. You deserve better and so do your children.
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Kick his lazy selfish behind to the curb and make him pay child support. You’re doing it all yourself anyway. What do you need him for?
You did not take another kid to raise. Leave for the your kids sake. Show them how strong you are and can make it on your own. Dont let the kids accept his kind of living as what a man should do. Put the kids first.
You know what you need to do. You are looking for a way out of your marriage. And there are so many things that you listed that makes this guy not a fit candidate as your husband who is going to be there for you to help you build. I think it’s time to separate. For the sake of your mental health, let him go. You don’t have to hate him. You just can’t build with a person who isn’t willing to do so with you.
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Most men are very literal beings. He needs to know exactly what you want/need from him. Write your to do list for the week. Tell him you need a team player because the current situation is too heavy for you. Ask him what tasks he will help with because you are overwhelmed and this isn’t the marriage you signed up for. Then kindly tell him you need a partner because you’re feeling all alone. If he doesn’t get that or isn’t willing then it’s time to put yourself & your children’s well being and happiness first and move on. I think what would help you most is, asking yourself if you want your children to believe this is what marriage is? This is the example being put before them and it’s not what marriage is supposed to be. Marriage is supposed to be / each spouse putting their all into it. Not 200/0! Please don’t settle for this.
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Leave him. He’s not a ‘partner’
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Doesn’t sound like you benefit from him all…if you never had a talk with him you should do so…but honestly its time for a divorce
It doesn’t seem salvageable. I’m sorry to say. It’s just a repeat pattern of minimum effort on his part. I’d say he mentally checked out long ago.
If I were you I’d be speaking with relatives, if that’s an option, to see where me and the kids could move to while finding affordable places to live on my own.
If you have friends or family, while he’s gone, pack everything up that day with them and be gone before he gets back. Leave a divorce letter on the table for him to fill out.
It’s time to cut the cord! What is there to hold on to?
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What is he bringing to the table? Nothing by sounds of it. Get rid of him. You need to ask yourself what you’d actually miss. One less mouth to feed and one less lazy a$$ to look after!
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Sounds like you need a new husband.
It’s time to go. I know that’s hard because I’m sure you love him and at some point he was probably good to you and you still remember that but you can’t hold to what was. You don’t want your kids to think this is acceptable and I know it may hurt at first but in the long run you will be so much happier.
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Don’t know why we hang on so long taking their crab. Verbal and mental abuse are much worse than physical, bruises can heal but mental, depending how long you let it go on can stay with you for the rest of your life. .Get out now because unless he goes to get serious help it will never change. And remember not only you but your kids are suffering.
Move forward and don’t look back… his season should be over he’s proved that! You can do this on your own, don’t let this loser steal your joy
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Leave him! One less person to take care of. We allow people to treat us the way they do. If he isn’t giving you any support why stay wit him?
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Kick him to the kerb he has a girlfriend
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You are mother and father! You are everything. A man that truly cares will be there and help share the load of having a family. Im sorry you are goin through this. I hope things work out for you. Keep your head up leave him behind if he does not value you and the goals you have he doesnt deserve you.
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Past behavior is a predictor of future behavior.
It will continue.
Sounds like you’re maturing and growing without him.
Its time to be with someone who ready to do the same. Or be alone for a while and take of you and yours! P.S. alcoholics and addicts are selfish people, until they recieve help. They’re not going to do until they are ready.
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What do you need him for ? What is the best thing about this relationship? Is there a reason to perpetuate this? I think you deserve better. Maybe life would be better away from him.
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What do you need him for??
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It’s easier said then done, but leave him. He won’t change and obviously you are doing it by yourself and he’s just an extra load to bear. Go to court file separation, get him out of the home, and proceed.
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You’re taking care of a grown manchild who isn’t a part of the family dynamic and does not sound like he wants to be. I’d tell him if he doesn’t straighten out and step up that he can go. You’re doing it all alone anyways… why carry the dead weight?
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Then leave him don’t stay with him for the sake of the kids because that will do more harm than good your doing everything on your own so leave him and continue to do it on your own
If this was posted by someone else, or a friend of yours had a husband like this, what advice would you have given them? I feel that we are happy to give good advice to everyone but ourselves. So follow the advice you’d give to someone else who was in your shoes! I bet it would be along the lines of “Independent women gets rid of lazy husband and lives happily ever after” Good luck 
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It’s time to take care of yourself and your kids,leave the whole man,he is not contributing to anything at all,infact he sound exhausting!!!
Time to turn the page, you do not need him
I think you meant to say you have 3 kids.
Sweetie you aren’t married to a man that is a boy, and another responsibility on the list of all the thing you have to take care, any man that complaints about taking care of his children is also a child himself, whenever you have to question your happiness in a marriage or any relationship for that matter it’s time to go. You’ve been taking on all the responsibility alone so what’s the point of him being there.
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Kick him out or start charging him for rent, utilities and food, after all he sounds like he’s just a boarder. Take him to court for child support, add all that up and tell him it’s what he needs to contribute to live there. Sounds like you got it all under control on your own!!
Suck it up.you choose to stay you are the only one who can fix this. Herr is what you do. Go home while he’s at the all day and some time all night cheating fuck is at work and pack.his shit. Then set it at the grandpa and grandma’s house change locks go to court house get full custody and file for divorce. Good luck and I’m sorry if that was to rude but I ain’t sugar coating shit.
You’re basically single, boot him to the curb.
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No judgment here, serious question: Why are you putting up with it?
Coming home at 2 or 3 a.m. drunk? Sounds like an affair. I mean you can’t be that naive.
If your doing it by yourself…then cut the dead weight and do it like you have been ,only without the stress of him…you got this …
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They say 90 percent of a good life is choosing a good partner Now O
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Do yourself a favor and throw him out! You are better than that! One less person to have to support.
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Leave him. Doesn’t sound like he makes any kind of effort. Sad for you I’ve been through the same thing. All it does is make you sad. You are already doing everything by yourself. Do you have support if you leave? Grandparents?
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Mama, if you’re already running the show alone, then cut ties. Ever heard the term, “I can do bad all by myself”. Tell him to pack his shit and go.
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I’m not one to judge because I’ve chosen wrong twice But I can see here the bad far exceeds the good For your own sanity and the good of the children find a way to move forward without him
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It sounds like you don’t need him. Why don’t you kick him out. It’s much easier to deal with one less man child in the house.
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Don’t say a word to him, put his things out on the lawn with divorce papers, and change the locks. You do it alone now and you’ll be just fine without him.
You wouldn’t be any worse off if you kicked him out…I’d be doing just that,you’re basically a single parent anyway and he sounds like a complete arse
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Time to teach him a lesson and give him the old heave -ho
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Let’s turn the page you are burning yourself out doing everything by yourself thank God for family members to help and your marriage the choice is up to you what you decide to do try to find sometime for you find your inner peace than take one step at a time because there is only one you be well praying for you and your family
Get a divorce, get spousal support and child support. You will be better off without him.
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What exactly is the benefit of being with him? It sounds like there are none, he’s only causing you stress & hardship & if you don’t change your situation you will be posting the exact same thing 10 years from now. I know it’s not easy to split when there’s children & mortgage etc but I think you know it has to be done, maybe its what he wants to? Get advice, ask for help & set the wheels in motion & look forward to a new happy life that you deserve x
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Oh honey you must have married my ex-husband twin he was the same way and I had 4 kids things never changed but I did I left him after 18 years of hell my second husband was way better cooked cleaned and worked and always played with my kids until unfortunately he died after a year but I’d rather be single and do it all anyway than to have to rely on a lazy husband I was better off because honestly what did I need him for if I was doing it all myself anyway not to mention how tired I was for doing everything and intamacy went out the window because I was too tired and too angry most of the time anyway end of my marriage thank God and I never looked back
If you are not happy and think you can’t solve anything by having a conversation with him just divorce and problem solved. Unless you are company dependent and prefer all that than be happy just alone and by yourself. Then, just divorce and seek for a mental health professional.