I think both can take shifts . I did it with my first c section in February of this year … I was caring for my newborn and my stepson . We took shifts and he still went to work .
I had the same situation but, knew years before he was an abuser. Down deep you know as well. Take the outside help. Get better. Call a respected lawyer and discuss options. It’s time.
So sorry your dealing with this it is hard. I too just had a c section in July. With a 3&5 yr old at home my husband took not one day off and works from 7 to 7pm six days a week. While I could have used the help I managed. Sometimes us as mommas just have to do so. Some men just can’t take that time away from work. Hugs hope you can come to an agreement. * I just found out baby #4 is on the way and don’t know how I’m gonna handle it then 
I’ll have to push for my husband to take little time off then too 
I’ve never had a c section myself and I guess it’s pretty scary all the things that could go wrong if you do the wrong thing and pretty painful to but there’s two sides to every story I think your best bet is to sit down and talk with your husband to find out what going on in his head he could be on mind overload and not want to worry you .
my other half found it overwhelming the more children we had he thought he had to make sure we had everything so he worked everhour he could which didn’t help our relationship and ended up with him having an affair if we just talked maybe thing would of been different but what ever the out come you’ve got this 
xxx
Pull up your big girl panties woman…dont be afraid or discouraged love…i got 6 teenagers…involve your toddler to help…they love to help…(even if its spilling Skittles all over a clean floor and having your toddler “help” you pick them up in separate colors…) This trick will buy time for a diaper change and half a feeding…suck it up butter cup…your woman…hear you roar.
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Is he trying to get extra hours because you guys financially need the money ? Or is he clearly just trying to avoid being home ? Depending on your answer I would be pissed
Sounds like he enjoys sex but not the product of it. He needs a reality check from someone in the medical field as to exactly what just happened to your body and why you need help.
My problem isnt that he isnt taking the time off, it’s that he is refusing. If we had a mutual agreement on the plan and he can be there then he needs to be. Yes can she do it alone. Sure, should she do it alone no.
I had both mine by c section in the days before paternity leave was even thought of. No family or friends around to help so I just had to get on with it.
Ive read a lot of these comments and first want to encourage you, you can handle this, 1 day at a time. Secondly, your husband may just be working extra to deal with his own stress about being a new dad again. That doesn’t excuse his asshole-ness but sometimes we all make bad choices because we dont know how to deal. Just focus on you and the children. I have 4 kids and my hubby is the only money maker. Some days, weeks it feels like Im doing everything for them because He’s working his ass off to provide. New lives in a family can often bring out a bad side in anyone but it usually passes quickly. Take heart 
4th baby with 3 kids in home all c-sections. I had no help from my husband at all or no one. He even took it to sleeping in the living room so he would be able to sleep. Still I never complained. I would make my grocery order for delivery and order what ever meal my kids wanted to eat every day. He wants to treat me like a single mother it’s fine, I will treat him like my atm and yes he complained about the money but I could care less. He did ended up taking some days about a month after and even learn to cook a little so I wouldn’t order out.
Some men are very selfish and uncomfortable with children. I raised my two daughters alone a lot of the time. It’s not easy but it will build a strong relationship with your children. I’m so sorry your having to deal with this… it’s not easy and you feel your marriage dying which is heartbreaking but look for the silver linings and make the most of these moments… you can’t call them back. Hugs mama!
Sounds kinda like he’s having an affair.
What normal guy, who chose to start a family, wouldn’t be home with his new addition & helping mom/wife? Sounds suspicious
Why are a majority sounding like they are criticizing a woman after a c-section childbirth with other children to care for? Sheesh. BE SUPPORTIVE. Some guys are just not helpful. Give her a break, there is a period of postpartum and do any of ys know how poorly she may be feeling?
Personally dont know what to say! My hubby did the same and i just got on with things 
now ehen he is off i go to work, so it works both ways. I also had no help with my children. Some daddys just cant be ‘there’ because of their own mental health too, maybe daddys way of coping is to work?
Well… if your husband is the bread winner, you should not complain about him working. Times like these be grateful.
Lots of husbands make "providing for family " priority, nothing wrong with that.
And your not the first mom to have a c-section with multiple kids around… adapt. But there’s always 2 sides. So I’m going to say that things could be really bad…but just seems like you want him to do more at home… choose your battles wisely.
You need to see some one about baby blues
It is completely reasonable for him to go to work and jave outhets help you out
This sounds more like you want his attention.
No one can work for him but there are others that can help you . Sounds like you both see things differantly. It to will pass… Just remember you love each other. and the children.
Sounds to me like ye want different things, he is agreeing to keep the peace but then does what he wants anyway. You can’t make him want to help you unfortunately
If there are others that CAN help, let them. You may need the extra money later. You’re doing good if you have more than one kid and DONT need the money …imo
I can’t believe some of these comments, not everyone bounces back from a c section, it doesn’t help her to hear how other people were up and running in 2 days or to suck it up. be kinder…
I’d strangle him. I’m due next week and we have a 16 month old. I’m sorry but when you can’t you can’t. And YOU can’t. He created the kid too. He needs to step up.
My husband never stayed home. I had kids in 03, 04 and 05 nor did he help with middle the night feeds except Friday and Saturday nights… it is hard but I got threw it somehow
Some of the comments astound me. See if you can meet half way… can he help with house work when he gets home from work? Bath the toddler? Things like that?
Our first was prem and I was hospitalised 2wks prior (bubs 7wks In nicu after that) he had to work financially but was there when he could. second was elective but he had a new business so wasn’t around much, it was hard, but helped with household duties that lifted the weight off my shoulders a bit.
Save your peace, he wants to earn more money okay fine. Then hire a nanny to help you with the toddler since you cannot do lifting. Even though money is not the problem here, men are really concern about the money since there is a new addition to the family. My husband too is not really hands on when it comes to our baby so we don’t want more babies, i was a cs mom too i ended up taking care of everything postpartum we don’t have family nearby and my husband was a working student
My husband is only taking a week off this time and I will have a toddler to care for as well its one of those things 
we can’t afford for him to take two weeks
Are you using the $ he is making for you and the new baby? Then be grateful.
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So not to found ugly but if the problem is that y’all aren’t communicating well then take a breath and calmly approach him about it and not in a way that the issue is him working. If your just mad he’s working I’d say maybe stop and look at a bigger picture maybe you don’t see why he’s working and he sees it for your families future or if there are people who are constantly trying to help he might feel like it’s better for him to work because people want to help you either way take the help and be happy you have a spouse who wants to work. If the over all issue is him not helping at any time then don’t give him a choice make him help you.
If money wasn’t the issue, then the questions I would be asking are: why is work your priority? Are you unhappy at home? What makes you feel good at work that I can do for you at home? Also, I appreciate you.
But I’m single and had 2 C-Sections both while single because I left the dads when I was pregnant so… I chose to do things myself rather than deal with their issues while I had my own. 
it’s what works for you.
If money isn’t an issue hire someone to come help a few hours a day. I dont want to sound harsh but you aren’t gonna leave him for it. Might as well deal with it.
I had two c sections and my husband didn’t help with either of them… his thing has always been video games my kids are now older and it is still the same 
Just inform him that you are going to hire a nanny for the next 4 weeks! He’s making the money so spend it on quality time to get you healed and back on your feet 
I had 2 c sections and after both I got up out of bed when I finally got unhooked from machines etc and I got on with doing my kids didn’t even need help from my partner didn’t actually want it either lol
Was out shopping cleaning and mucking out my animals 3 days after mine done it all alone. Never complained just cracked on tbh men aren’t the most reliable of creatures lol 
Is easy. Let him not be there. When they teach you to not need them all you gotts do is stay that way. Kick him to the curve.
Explain to him that you had major abdominal surgery and he needs to step up
Honestly I was a single mom with a 14 month old when I brought my newborn home…I did it, i was out walking around within a couple days with both my kids…Lugging a double stroller up and down the stairs and 2 kids with a diaper bag… I found no reason to depend on anyone…(Sorry if that sounded harsh,not meant to) It was just me and my instinct of if anything is going to get done I need to do it and not depend on extra hands.
Sounds to me like he is trying to stay away cause it’s too much nagging.
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I couldn’t be with someone who acted like that he’d be dust…
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He’s being financially responsible and therefore you need to stop having kids get up and stop using the C-section as a excuse. At least he’s doing something and not sitting around listening to you complain.
If money isn’t a problem, find nanny to help.
My boyfriend only took 2 days off after my c section. And I was in the hospital those 2 days. It sucked but I did it
Have a lot of things that’s needed most, near by you. Put favorite movies on for the little one, on replay and order food…
Tell him youre going to stay at your moms until youre healed since you need the help and he wont be there for you
How do you pay bills if he doesn’t work
My boyfriend went to work 2 weeks after my c section I was fine. It’s only the first 2 weeks that you can’t pick up the baby
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Hell no,he helped make those babies he can fucking help you around the house too OR find someone trusting to go in your home to help you.Wth is wrong with these men???
Tell him he’s a pos. My bf took 2 weeks off and did everything for our baby beside breastfeeding obviously.
I did it all by myself…My ex was never around… You do not need anyone’s help.
So maybe you think you don’t need the money, but it could be otherwise.
Men have postpartum issues as well. We as women just rarely acknowledge it.
Stop talking bad about your husband on Facebook. At least he is going to work instead of visiting a mistress.
You had two babies with him? Doesn’t sound like work it sounds more someone else.
Talk to him about PPND (Paternal Postnatal Depression) is common condition among men after the birth of a child.
Had The same. Found to be cheating not doing extra hours .
This sucks. You cannot change him though. You can and will do whatever it takes to make. I believe in you.
Can you get a relation to help out or friend and get your husband to pay them. Some men are thoughtless lm afraid.
Depends if he is actually working or if he is messing around!! If he is actually work u deal with it if it is the other kick his ass to the curb!! Being uare doing it by ur self anyways
men they do not think is their anyone else who can help you . Phone your doctor
Jesus Christ! You answered your own question eventually! Tell him to pull his weight!
If you have other to help then ise all you can. I. A couple weeks those people will drop like flys
I just had a baby 3 weeks ago via c section and my husband was only able to stay home with me for 1 week before he had to go back to work because we have bills to pay. I also have a 13 month old and an 11 year old at home so I’m home everyday by myself with 3 kids. I am also homeschooling the 11 year old while taking care of the 2 little ones…It’s not always easy but like I said we have bills to pay so I had to tough it out and make it work.
If money is not a problem, why don’t you just hire help?
Damn those first world problems. 
trust me if this is the least of your problems you have it pretty damn easy. Sound pretty lazy to me
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He needs to be calling other people then to make the arrangements for you to have help. His mom, your mom, friends. He can work if he wants to, but he needs to be the one to make sure his home shifts are covered by someone else then so his family is taken care of. As your husband, its his responsibility. If he’s choosing to absolve himself of that duty, then he needs to find replacement. Otherwise, he’s breaking his vow of “for better or worse” when you got married.
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It’s hard to accept that there are people who have found this funny, it’s at the expense of a mothers pain and frustration.
All birth and parenting situations are different - even if you’ve had c-sections before.
I’ve had 3, and I’m pregnant with our 4th baby which is going to be delivered by c-section.
I’m sorry to say, he is being selfish.
He is the father - it’s as much his responsibility as it is yours. You did not get pregnant on you’re own.
I now work. In an aged care facility. I come home and pretty much continue what I do at work after 7 and a half hours. My partner a lot doesn’t even open a freaking window! So not hard. Does not organise dinner, one or so a week tidys and cleans. I have slowly but surely tried to see where he does help/his fair share - which still is not enough for a house we rent with 5 people in total, all kids at school. He has worked hard jobs for years, I understand he has ongoing pain from this, although woman do from pregnancy and birth also. It’s not a reason to just not be available.
I don’t know if this helps.
I really hope you are ok from the stupidity of the ‘laughing emojis’.
Ignore it because they obviously don’t care for your situation.
It’s hard to suggest what to do. Knowing myself very well that you are in a very physical and emotional situation.
My advice would be to not ask him about his day, don’t offer a cuppa or snack,
Try to make it easy for yourself how ever that may be, which again, nothing will really be easy when trying to heal from a c-section.
Do only what is necessary.
You have lots of support. Ignore the ones who are inconsiderate.
Remember…your horomones are all over the place right now. Take a deep breath… Do what you can…relax on other stuff. Good luck momma…you can do this!
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I can’t believe how many women are saying it’s okay or deal with it. WTF. The last time I checked, it takes two to have a baby. You need to hold your husband accountable for his share of the responsibility as well. Don’t ever allow anyone, especially your husband to treat you second best. You just had a baby. Your body needs time to heal and thus is his time to step up.
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You should be thankful that he works so many don’t anymore
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Wow well you can see where his priorities are. I wouldn’t count on him and that’s very sad.
If money is no option and he’s working when you need him off, he better get you an amazing push present. 
Change the DAMN locks while the JERK is at work! What a selfish TOOL!!!
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The man sounds like a self serving jackass!
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It’s obvious this is going to bother you for some time. Either you accept it, buck up and handle it or there will be much worse problems down the road. Doesn’t sound like he’s going to change. Many, MANY single mothers, divorcees, etc., do it with NO help whatsoever. You can do it. Sure, it would be great to have someone wait on you, but some don’t get that luxury.
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You got more than I did! I got three days be happy for what help you did get
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Man up, my wife went back to full time work, 4 weeks after a c - section
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He’s not doing you any way that you’re not letting him
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If you don’t put ur foot down dude will keep doing whatever he wants without regards to your feelings and needs
Sucks big time,I had to either keep two kids at home,walk while pushing a pream or drive two days after c-section, no help at all😭
Ya I never has help past a few days!! Millions and Millions of women do it every day. You got this mama
Boo hoo, cry me a River. I did it as a single mom. Suck it up.
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Well he already took 2 weeks off… I had an emergency C section, almost died, blood transfusions ect with 4 kids at home & one in NICU so I felt like CRAP when I went home … hubby continued to work 2 JOBS but he bought me a bunch of frozen meals, cooked dinner & left it ready in fridge for me to heat up as needed. Yes, it would’ve amazing having him there and help but honestly life continues and bills need to be paid . With a new baby I understand why he’s going for extra hours , you know?
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The 3 days hes off leave him with both kids.
I would pack up and go stay where u can rest and get the help you need MEN!! SMH
For get heavy house work.
Why have a kids with him
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Hire a maid let him pay for it!
Call your mom. I bet she would love to come help
So he already took 2 weeks off to help? Really 2 weeks is plenty of time to heal and be able to do things on your own yeah you’re still recovering but you’re not incapable of doing it on your own. You should be so grateful that he was able to stay home as much as he did. Having my 4th c section and mine has NO paid leave he’s going to take the 3 days off while in the hospital and that is it.
Sounds like you settled for the wrong man my dear. Is he really working like he says he is or it could be that he have another woman on the side? 
Maybe it’s that and he’s not ready to be a father and own up to his responsibilities as a man should. If you’re doing everything by yourself and he hasn’t stepped up after every given opportunity then you need to leave the relationship. His work schedule sounds like he has no time for you or his children.
Give him a slap or tell him that extra money is going on a nanny and a cleaner or he can do it himself
Sounds like he doesn’t want to be home .
And not in the “ I just want to provide for my family “ like some single parents would say , but more so along the lines of him literally
NOT WANTING TO BE HOME .
Your continuing asking for his help . His wife asking him to help w their 2 Kiids and he rather work and have others take care of his Kiids .
Yeah dude not tryna be home doesn’t sound like he’s happy .
*excuse me
You got this momma. I had weight restrictions when pregnant and did everything myself cause my husband wouldn’t help, had a hard time during labor, husband was on his phone entire time, had a c-section and had to have a wound vac for a while, weight restrictions again, New born and 5 year old to all deal with. Done it all on my own(though husband was off work). I ended up with an infection. Found out i was allergic to stitches. Ended up back in the hospital, granted my aunt kept our 5 year old this time but i was still taking care of a newborn while my husband lounged around on the hospital room couch and played around on his phone.
Honey, it is stressful, but you got this. Women are warriors. Men, well men can be worthless(not saying all men are). Hang in there.
I came through ok and so will you.
Single moms do it alone everyday. Most men rather physically work. I would be happy I had his financial help and he can help if he has time after work or with house chores. Some women have it made and don’t even know it.
Sounds to me like he is fully avoiding his responsibility to his children and wife. Especially if finances are not a issue
Tell him ya gonna pay someone to help that should do it
Throw the whole husband away simple
So you’re mad because he would rather make sure you guys are very stable and able to have extra money for whatever reason y’all may need it. And HE understands there are other people in y’all’s life that can also help… I’ve been there as a mother of 4 so I get your side but as someone with out the excess hormones rushing I definitely see his side too. He can help through out the nights and when he’s home. I’m sure friends and family would love to come help.
I had a csection with my first and vbac with the other 3 (baby #2 I had an episiotomy) it’s hard but sometimes you gotta just deal with it and understand you need family and friends to help.
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He should know if he chose to lay with you he will have to pay!!! Man up sucker!!!