he sounds like a peach.
By doing this he is putting you guys first. 
Girl you better move your parents in and see if he likes that 
bet that’ll get his ass in check real quick. C-section is a bitch and I’ve had both, natural and c-sec, could tell you C-section is worse.
Girl, mine was home for a week after mine… better learn how to MOM quickly.
Wow, I’m really surprised at a lot of these answers. She said she needs help! The girl needs help and he needs to do it! He is purposely choosing something else that she stated he doesn’t NEED to do right now and intentionally not giving her the help she is asking for. It’s not okay.
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4 kids, 4 csections. My military husband had to deploy each time within the 10 days paternity leave and of the ship.was underway or left already, we paid out pf pocket for him to be here.
Best advice is to pick and choose your battles. Leave the toys, don’t be OCD and just do your best while you heal.
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I’m a mother of 6 soon to be 7 next year April 2021. I have never asked my spouse to ever miss weeks of work after I gave birth to our babies, he stayed off the day of birth and another day or two just in case I was in the hospital for a bit longer, once I was home and settled in, he went right back to work and I never once complained or asked him to take off work, we have bills & babies to feed, and provide for!
You say (money is not the problem here, we do not need it) but what if you had an emergency or something came up and you needed that extra money? you’d be back on here complaining that your husband isn’t working enough 
some women just complain and complain about everything I can’t even deal.
I feel bad for him, must be hell living with such a nagging person👎
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My husband went back a week after all 3 of my caesareans. I was fine
I couldn’t wait for him to go back either 
I think the thing that’s upsetting her is that he’s decided to stay off and help then changed his mind and chose to go back to work. Which leaves her with both children alone which wasn’t discussed. She’s stated and agreed with him working 2 days and now he’s changed that decision again on his own. Everyone heals differently after their section, I had other problems from mine and was kept in hospital. She’s stated they didn’t need him to work as ‘money’s not the issue’. He’s decided this and therefore she’s left home with 2 children which she wasn’t prepared for as they’d both agreed he’d be home more to help with the children whilst she was recovering.
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Husband is an asshole.
May not be the most popular opinion but… you’ll be okay. I am positive you aren’t alone with this complaint of not having husband home for weeks after c section. I know mine went back to work a day later.
Hate to say it that way but… eh. Hang in there. Stay on main floor of the house, take it easy.
Or if it makes you angry enough, tell him to help out or you’re leaving.
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You know what you do, you put on your big girl panties, suck it up, and be the mom those kids need you to be. Life is never fair.
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Why is the default ALWAYS that woman should just put up and shut up?
Yeah you can do it alone and many HAVE to. But when you have a partner in life, a husband who doesn’t NEED to work, and said he would stay home then changes his mind and doesn’t even tell his wife in advance??
That’s not a partnership, that’s one party making decisions then relying on the other to cover all the slack. At the end of the day she didn’t get herself pregnant and having kids isn’t 100% her responsibility, so she shouldn’t have to make all the sacrifices, especially just after surgery with a newborn at home.
I did things myself too, after the birth of my 4th, but because I chose to be a single mum. You bet if I had a partner or husband I’d expect them to step up to the plate.
If he doesn’t want to act like a husband and father and expects you to act like a single parent while he earns money then perhaps he needs to think about what his life would be like if she decided to find a partner and equal and he paid child support and saw his kids when it was convenient for him.
Men can’t go around expecting women to act like single mothers then have a bitch fit when they decide its actually easier to BE a single mother and maybe even find someone who cares and supports them in all the ways their ex didn’t 
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Make him an ex husband 
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I never expected my husband to help me with our kids. I had a c-section first thing in the morning and then walked 5km for a burger that night. Some of us are stronger then others and take pain differently. I dont let anything bring me down.
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I’m shocked at some of these heartless comments!
The GMC and most medical professionals advise that post c section you should lift nothing heavier than your newborn and so nothing more than light excercise (walking,sitting standing etc) until AFTER your 6 week check…so yes, it is reasonable to have help longer than 2 weeks!
My main issues with what people are saying are;
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EVERY WOMAN IS DIFFERENT! Some women have a simple incision and delivery, others have complications, we don’t know this lady’s circumstance! Also some people heal much faster…I am very fortunate, after my abdo surgery and my double mastectomy I was up and about and back to “full mum duties” within 48 hours…however I have friends who suffered hemorrhages, hernias and torn stitches from doing FAR less than I did.
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it takes two people to make a child and while it used to be the case that dads “went to work to earn while women did mum stuff” actually it’s 2020…my OH doesn’t “babysit my kids” he takes care of our children, and when I asked him what he thought of this post, he called the guy a selfish ass! If your partner needs help after surgery/childbirth then damn well help her!
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a lot of of you seem to be forgetting how hard post natal blues hit a woman, So why don’t we practise some of what so many of you preach and show some kindness! We live in an awfully ugly world where a woman asks for advice and gets torn down by other women
We are all different…let’s not forget that, some of us plough on because we have to, Single moms have no other choice than to be superhuman, however this lady isn’t a single mom, so why shouldn’t she feel like the man she married, the father of her children is letting her down.
It’s ok not to be ok!
So mom…if you need him to help, talk to him, tell him how you feel, you’re not being unreasonable asking for help! If he needed to work for financial reasons or because his job depended on it then yeah ok, but if it’s his choice then maybe he’s either deliberately dodging his duties or maybe he is struggling too. Again we sometimes forget that men have to face changes when a child is born, everything hits them too, the additional responsibility, added cost, maybe he’s stressing and doesn’t want to worry you so is throwing himself at work to forget or distract himself …men aren’t always good at expressing how the feel…so try to get him to talk, and make sure you listen too! I hope you two manage to make it work and find a solution x
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Hes taken off more than enough time. I’ve had 2 c sections and he was home for 1 week. I was up and moving around before that, though. Wtf do you want? Him to just quit and yall live off unemployment so you can be extra lazy?
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well working a job that provides for the family eap when you dont work IS putting yall first. Reach out to your family and friends for help.
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Your husband is a piece od shit. Sorry
So, he doesn’t file like it to deal with you and 2 young children. They are his kids too.
If it was me, I would be very angry. Very.
Selfish dick.
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What some women would give for a husband with that kind of work ethic. If I’m understanding this correctly, he was already home with you at least 2 weeks. That’s WAY more than most men get for paternity leave, if ANY. Your husband IS supporting you and his children by working to keep money in the bank, bill’s paid and a roof over your head. I would take a step back here and really think about what you’re actually feeling. Also, you just had a baby, your hormones are going rampant right now and you might be overanalyzing the entire situation as a result. Please be happy and grateful for what you DO HAVE. So many women have to do it ALL. You’re blessed more than you know!
My heart goes out to you. I had all my children via c section and I understand you pain. I am blessed, my husband was there for me and he was and is an hands on father. All these woman saying deal, get over it, your toddler will adjust, shame on you, shame on you. You can’t make her situation be the same as hers. This lady just had a baby, her hormones and feelings are all over the place, and with the stress coming from her husband it is only making it worse. This man is avoiding his responsibility, plain and simple and he is truly showing you how he feels about you. Since you say money isn’t an issue, I would advise you to put your toddler in daycare, this will give you some help during the day. Also, purchase a good belly wrap, this will give your body the support you need as you move around. Also, try to cook meals that will last for a couple of days so you won’t have to worry about cooking everyday. Do the best you can, take it slow. If you have family that will help out, ask and even pay them to help. Everything is overwhelming right now, I know, but do the best you can. Also, take a serious look at your relationship because when you are in need, the way your partner treats you speak clearly how he feels about you. Any husband that loves his wife doesn’t treat them this way.
Call in other family and friends if you need it.
If you are overwhelmed ask for help ASAP!
Postpartum is serious and no a joke!
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It depends about other factors, he could have no more pto from work. Bills have to be paid, or ur out of ur comfort of living and hospital bills. I hate to be that one to say u probably need to ask family to help or others u lending a helping hand to… a sitter does not sound bad also, at least the person would be there and u… just give it a try u never know, u may be ok with the extra help.
We couldn’t afford that luxury. My husband got 2 days off max, then back to work. With my last c-section, I had 3 kids at home all by myself for 10 hours a day. It depends on your own situation.
He doesn’t want to be home he doesn’t want to help. I’m not sure how else he can make this clear to you. I’m sorry.
If u have money hire a helper,/ nurse, u had gone through the same problem, cause my parents already passed away- if u have ur parents ask them to come ir u can go t there house. Don’t disturb ur husband he can’t help u in this condition. And this is the most beautiful time of ur life try to enjoy it.
Sounds like a sad situation, you and your children needs him to step up and do his part for his family, y’all decide this together before the second baby came, if he doesn’t put y’all first when you really need his help at home, what going to happen in the future? He may need therapy to get to what going on with him? I’m going to pray for your family! Cause this will happen again, I’ve been there in your shoe before! Like you said y’all don’t have money problems?
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he prob cheats on you too, thats why he’s itching to leave the house. any man that doesnt help out no matter what, is not a man at all. pretty sad, when he leaves you finally, youll be all alone then too, so just consider this “practice”
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Gosh I wish I could moan no support no family. Father walked away. My gosh you have it hard 🤦
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After my c-section with my 2nd LO, my SO constantly made jokes knowing I can’t laugh with the pain I’m experiencing while recovering, and it was so funny that I couldn’t help but cry and laugh at the same time 
. Men can be so childish sometimes and think we overreact when we experience pain. Within a week though, I felt better and moved around the house. He helped with running errands, do the difficult chores and looked after my other DS. I’m still angry at him for teasing me with jokes while I was in pain… Laughter was so painful back then lol.
Just jad my 3rd c-section … It was a piece of cake . Honestly I didnt need any help. Goodluck !! Lots of prayers for you and Congrats!
I feel bad for that mom
Tell him he’s an ass****
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He’s cheating 
Sorry to say.
Honestly it sounds like he doesn’t want a family at all. He’s choosing to purposely be away from not only you but the children. I’d work on getting well and moving on. He doesn’t have any love or compassion for you or kids.
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My husband worked days I was in the hospital and days after I had her. He never took a day off. Even went in to work the day I was going to the hospital to have her. Some men just want to work.
Maybe he’s feeling stressed about the extra child? You will need extra money for that child. He could be stressing financially now that it’s getting to be “time”. I know that’s why my husband continued to workZ
I had a placental abruption and very traumatic birth experience. C-section and blood transfusion and left the hospital in less then 20hrs. I have a 5 other kids and no family. I don’t understand how people aren’t grateful for what they consider as little amount of help. I’m glad you didn’t have to struggle like I did. Wouldn’t wish struggle on anyone. Just step your game up and if he’s not good enough be done.
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I just had my 3rd baby 6 months ago and it was a c section. I too had a toddler and was only in the hospital 26 hours after surgery and then release. My husband owns his own business so he still worked 6 sometimes 7 days and sometimes 12 to 16 hour days. I got through fine and if its been over 2 weeks you should be starting to feel a lot better. Everyone is wired differently. He may be restless or feel he needs to work. My husband can’t stay still ans when he does have free time he helps, but he isn’t one to just be there. He did the dishes tonight bc the kids were all on another level ans he did what he knew would help from his end. Be greatful you don’t have a freeloader.
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Honestly, IDK as I have not been married for a long time and raised my children as a single parent. I will keep your family in prayer that you reach a solution and move in a progressive state.
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I personally feel like he’s feeling restless. I felt this way and needed to go back to work as well regardless of having baby. I’m just glad he was able to help you like that though. All my husband got was 3 days fmla. Then it was back to doing everything for 5 children including a newborn. I feel pretty good. Moving around really feels like it helped with recovery. As for the toddler, try to get your toddler to be a big helper. You don’t need to be carrying around a toddler anyway. You got this. And if a day you may need help try and ask a friend or family member if he’s working. Take care hon.
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Maybe he is feeling the pressure of your growing family and maybe feels that if he didn’t work then all could be lost. Talk to him. I’m sure this can be resolved.
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My 1st husband did this bc we would have starved. I didn’t mind and understood. Had that not been the case inwould have been furious. My 3rd childs father did it bc he wanted to. He has a different wife. I wasn’t having it. Wait for the responses to pile up of women explaoning its unacceptable and is grounds to consider an exit plan. Show it to him. Let him think about his unsupportive behavior and maybe he will change his mind and decide to be there for his wife and children instead of running from responsibility
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I was in a similar situation some years ago. The time that he agreed to take off to help me, he was out with his friends. I was left completely alone as neither of us had friends or family that could help us. Some years later, we ended up divorced because family was not a priority. I do hope this doesn’t happen to you.
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Hire a mothers helper send him the bill… If he doesn’t like it he can take the job himself if not, Then give him what he wants, a divorce
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Maybe see if you can find a family member or friend to come to your house to help you. My husband helped me when I was in the hospital but then went back to work. I had to have my mom come for a week then stepmom come stay for a week.
I had the same issue with a premier home and no one allowed to be around him except immediate family that lived here! He went back to work the day I came home!
assume he will not change and figure out if this is the life you want. if not start planning for a future you want.
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I took my older 2 kids trick or treating 2 weeks after I had a c-section, my boyfriend went back to work the night I came home from the hospital 
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Im so sorry to hear this. But im grateful to hear I’m not the only one who has been going through the same situation. My toddler is 4. Covid is still here and i insisted her going back to school for the past 3 weeks now. Best of all we actually seperated from March to July and i moved back with the promise that he will be there. My baby is now 10 weeks old. Out of the 10 days he still has 4 days left of the paternity leave. Unfortunately money is a bit of issue so i do the chores too here since my medical costs are high which i pay myself(complications after I had a pituitary macro adenoma) Stay strong darling… We will get through this too… 
Seems you have other help around but you just want help from your husband who seems scared of something. Enjoy the help of whomever is around. Take it easy and get well first. Other things will come later. It is never that serious!
I was in the same situation, no c section but still the needs of a baby and 2 toddlers. My man, yes a workaholic but also baby and a mum/ me with post maternity needs scared him. Of course he wouldn’t admit it. I asked my Dr to write him a letter, about my physical and tiredness needs. He did. And having a professional , who also was a man, he did take notice.
The people saying leave, don’t value marriage. I think he’s being inconsiderate of your feelings… But, can you honestly say you’ve never been inconsiderate of his? Marriage is hard, and its tricky sometimes. I’d for sure be concerned about the communication gap. I’d consider seeking out help for that. But, if this is the most serious problem you have in your marriage, I wouldn’t consider it divorce material, at all. Unless there’s underlying issues we don’t know about. I’d be fine with my husband going back to work. As long as he helped when he was home. His work is what makes him feel valuable to our family. Me taking care of the kids is what makes me feel valuable to our family.
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Although it’s frustrating I can kind of see both sides of this,maybe he is worried about the future and everything that is going on at the moment so wants to work while he can, or maybe he struggles at home so wants to do what he knows he’s good at and he thinks that it’s the best way to contribute to the family? If he was out on the piss I would be fuming but he’s out earning money, I think you need to pick a time to talk to him calmly and reach some sort of compromise x
Seems like his work might be demanding more of him that you may not be aware of and he’s trying to make it seem like it’s his decision. Unless you are still bed ridden I don’t see why you can’t understand and compromise. My husband only had a week off after my c section. I was still in pain but fully self sufficient after that.
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As he obviously does not have enough consideration for you and your obvious need for as much help as you can get, is there no way you could hire someone to help with what needs to be done. The damage you could do to yourself after your c section cannot be under estimated, if my husband had been so unsupportive after the births of my children I would have shown him the door.
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He prob is working bc that can be easier than caring for children and is just making excuses about the reason. But I agree just put it to him by saying words like unacceptable or as him specifically how he thinks you feel
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After 2 weeks its healthy and necessary to be up and moving. I had to be up and moving with my 2nd one. I had 17 month old twins and a newborn. Its tough but it can definitely be done. Idk what to tell you about your husband. I would definitely communicate your frustrations with breaking his agreement tho
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Talk to him about it without getting annoyed, maybe he can’t cope at home and would cause more upset than to stay and help 24 7, its hard when your healing and when they are little but will get easier and dont be afraid to ask for help elsewhere if no compromise x
Personally, I did it alone with a 2 week old baby and a special needs child (who was somewhat violent towards the baby), I didn’t expect help. What gets me is he is going back on his agreement.
I hate to say it but hey must either have a work girlfriend or just don’t wanna have anything to do with u and the kids that’s y he work all the time
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You have to decide if this is a deal breaker. If it is, move on. If it isn’t, don’t ever mention it again.
Daddies get postpartum depression to … maybe it could be that ?
It sounds a lot like my friend’s husband … and it turned out to be a postpartum depression … 
I would have no more babies by him. Shows no respect for you.
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This would read, my ex husband…
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Hire home help round the clock. He is ridiculous.
I would leave or kick him out. 🤦🏻
Sounds like a right loser. You don’t need that.
A million dollar question
One of the ways men tend to react to parenthood is a drive to provide. It’s possible he believes he IS taking care of you by working more. You two should have a long honest chat and make sure you understand each other.
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Honestly, I’m pregnant with my third and I asked my boyfriend to only take a week off of work. I know he’ll go stir crazy without it, I can handle home and the babies, he’s on a hot roof 12 hours a day in the AZ heat. It’s a trade, we have to help each other out. Honestly, him only working a few days a week Isn’t that bad In my opinion… my boyfriend is off on the wknds and we spend every other wknd together. His weekends in between he likes to take a whole Saturday to go dirt bike riding, it’s good for him. It puts him in a good mood, which puts me in a good mood, and usually when he goes riding he pays for me to get my nails done… He should absolutely help you, but don’t expect him as the financial provider to just drop everything to be home like you’re home. From what it sounds like, he may be picking up extra hours to be gone on purpose. You guys need a sit down to talk about these things, and come to a middle ground. At the end of the day if you expect more, and he’s not giving you what you want, the choice then becomes yours on what to do. Try to see it from his perspective and yours.
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You really have to think about wether this is really the type of man you want for you. My husbans took his full 12 weeks off to help me with our newborn and toddler no questions asked. He should think of your needs. Your body just went through trauma and c sections are so painful I had one too. I really hope you have a strong support system to help you through these hard times.
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I know exactly what you’re going through. My boyfriend only took 4 days off and now on top of my section pain I’m going through the process of drying my milk up. I have HUGE boobs right now and it hurts if anything touches them so lifting my daughter and holding her hurts and I can’t do anything bc I’m leakin like a water hose. I asked him to come home from work tonight because of how much I’m in pain and he got frustrated with me saying he needs money yadda yadda but like you money isn’t the issue here. I really need his help and he thinks that same way where he expects others to help instead of him. I don’t need a baby sitter I need my daughters dad.
Take it easy Mom get your
Mom and friends to help
You praying for you and your family Amen
Bet you happily spend his money that he works hard to earn without complaints though don’t you?
My husband had to fly a cross the country for work just 2 days after our son was born. But then again it was work related, and he had done a contract we could had pay alot of money for braking it. Yes its hard but sometimes we got to do what we got to do…
Did he take the time to find someone to watch the toddler? If so, his priorities might be the “big picture.” He might feel more helpful and useful earning the money for the family. He might feel out of his element dealing with the domestic scene. I am not saying he’s right or wrong.
It would be the last child I’d have of his and I wouldnt stay he never see me again cause he really dont love you or the kids find a real man honey you really dont need him
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Yeaaaa I had an emergency c section and came home to 8 kids my husband took 5 days off that’s an 3 of those I was in the hospital buck up babe you got this. Just take it light but you gotta go back to norm eventually might as well start now
I hear you, you want him to be a team partner, to be with you because he is your mate. No amount of help can give you the love and affection you need from him at this time. I get it thousands of women go through this every day, God bless the husbands and fathers who have enough emotional intelligence to be supportive and not sending someone else to do what he thinks is beneath him.
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I could see the first week or two, but anything after that is unnecessary.
It sucks that he’s not helping but maybe he feels with an extra mouth to feed, maybe he wants to feel financially stable. I know I would want to feel extra stable right now, specially in the time we live in atm. You never know if the world is going to go on lockdown again. Even though your saying money isn’t a problem I understand where he is coming from. The hustle is what makes you not want to stop. Maybe he just wants to make sure you guys always have everything use need. If you can ask a friend for help take them up on the offer. And when your husband is around enjoy it. But I totally agree with you he should be here right now helping. But this isn’t what his plan is. Maybe you need to sit down with him and really talk to him and make him understand how you’re feeling.
How about he just isn’t an involved kinda dad. I’m not saying he doesn’t love his family. But people have different personalities. Different drives. Forcing into something he doesn’t really want to do out of guilt will not benefit your relationship or marriage. How about thank him for the time he has given and find another resource. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. So does our partners. Maybe he just isn’t a stay at home dad. I know my partner would be going nuts in the house. I have a friend who works to support the family and her husband stays home. Whatever works for yalls dynamic
But I think you are draining yourself over this situation. We all want the most out of our partners but they are going to frustrate and dissapoint us too. Dont forget to love them through the bad days too.
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Men’s brain are wired different. In his mind he’s helping by bring money in and providing for his family. I had my husband for 1 week after my c section and I had a a 5 year old. If he has lined up some help for you, you should accept it. You know the saying “It takes a village to raise a chid.” You should feel lucky others want to come and help. Some moms are doing it 100% on their own. Let the man go back to work and do what he know best to help his family. And when he comes come I’m sure he wouldn’t mind stepping in and helping you.
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Honestly he should go back to work by two weeks… I know everyone’s different with c-sections and also having a kid to take care of along side the baby, but you gotta buck up. 🤷 It will be hard but you got this. I had emergency c section with my son… (I’m a huge baby and it hurt) but I also had my 3 year old daughter to also take care of… and my husband not only had a broken wrist but he only took 2 days off. 2 weeks should be enough time to be able to handle things at home without him there. Be greatful and don’t let your stress overwhelm you or your relationship.
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Wow. I had an EX husband that did this after our son was born. Just refused to help or prioritize us in any way. 
…there’s a reason he’s an ex.
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Maybe it’s postpartum depression…
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My husband took a week from the date I gave birth. My mom has been staying with me as my c section turned into an emergency hysterectomy. My husband still helps all through the night and as soon as he gets home.
Mine was with me three days after i came home(c-section)!and I was ok. I cleaned, took care of the baby. No problem at all.
Many companies would frown upon him taking extra time off unless you have a major medical condition. And it’s really hard when you can’t lift to take care of a toddler that just wants to be held like his new baby brother/sister. You’re probably feeling guilty from that too. I’m sure he has his reasons just as you do yours. He’s not neglecting you if he’s already stayed home to help you. He’s probably just overwhelmed.
Another comment on here is true though. You do have to force yourself to get back in the swing of things. Maybe this is gods plan, to pull you out of your comfort zone.
Good luck mama!
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Leave him. That’s what you do.
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I would do a pop up at work unexpectedly
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All she’s asking for is help lots of hypocrites on here we should support each other. Has anyone considered that as this mother is reading these comments her mental health is deteriorating as she ‘should’ do this or she ‘can’ do that. Stop and think to yourselves first not everyone has courage to ask for help not every mother can raise kids alone and not every mother wants to be told how to be a mother. Most of you are all so fricking perfect can see u have all your men nicely in another woman’s arms whilst your the one being the mug. She ain’t in the wrong asking for advice !!! your are a perfect mother to your little family hun and only human well done you keep ‘nagging’ if u have to his loss in the end 
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My 1st c-section was terrible. Couldn’t walk for 4 weeks, the 2nd one was better. If you guys agreed to 2 extra weeks that’s what he should do. Maybe it’s too much for him but its alot more for you. You need to heal properly.
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After 2 weeks you should be able to move pretty good, I have no advice on hubby, but if you’re still struggling you might want to talk with your doctor
Maybe he’s experiencing post partum syndrome?
He sounds like trash
I know how you are feeling. My 1st and second c-section with a toddler the second I had to do everything on my own.
My husband didnt stay home with me after my c section I took care of her and didnt need help. The end of the day he is working so that is helping.
I did it alone 3 c-sections back then no choice