Ladies, my husband just confirmed today that he has a main B (me) and a side B a girl I recently found out he has been seeing and taking on vacations. They text through social media and stuff all the time, even while he will be with me. We have had rough spots through our relationship and it has not been easy (he thinks I cheated((I did not ever)) so he uses that to justify his actions). I do not want to lose him but I do not want him to continue cheating. He is obviously going to do what he wants to do but Iām stuck on what to do. He takes care of everything that needs to be taken care of financially while I raise our son (Not my bio). So am I to āplay my partā and allow whatever āas long as he knows where home isā like my homegirls tell me? Or risk losing everything over someone my husband chooses to go see on an occasion?
Leave that idiot. Donāt put up with that crap.
Uh no you leave. You arenāt a doormat. He comes home to use you.
Well staying is showing him its okay. Once a cheater always a cheater. Make him realize what heās lost when both of yall realize heās a pos.
Girl respect yourself prepare to leave get a job and save money and start looking for some place to go
ok, so you either leave him because heās not fully satisfied with you and he never will be. or you stay, have an open marriage and let him carry on with what heās doing. if you could handle having an open marriage then stay. but if not, leave.
Is this a real question? Girl get some self-respect and leave 
Omg how is this even a question? Once a cheater always a cheater. He believe he can because āhe takes care of everythingā. You need to leave asap and never look back!
Either leave him or invite a sister wife into your family lol
Uhhh bye boy. Iād leave his ass and let the side chick have him fuckkkk that
And lose your dignity and self respect? I donāt think so.
Girlā¦ you need to leave. Yes it may be hard at first but youāll be happier in the long run. Never settle for anything less. If you need to stay a little to save some money to leave then do that but donāt tell him what you plan on doing. Just suprise him when you do leave
Girl leaveeeee. Unless your open to an open marriage and you can do the same thing. Iād run as fast as i can. Especially if your taking care of his son that is not biologically yours!
Really?! Get some self respect. If someone did that to your daughter, for example what would your reaction be? Follow that.
What do you value: love or money? If it is love - leave. If it is money - stay.
I know what itās like to be home raising children while the other party is enjoying a vacation entertaining someone eles then he gave me hpv he didnāt feel bad about that or spreading it all over townā¦if this is the lifestyle you want if itās worth it but if that was me I know Iāll never be faithful to a man that entertains thats not fair
Leaveā¦start over!..because what if he moves in the other girl ?
You deserve better
Your his built in babysitter girl dnt take that.
I would go get a job, save money and bounce. Even if your struggling itāll will all work out. I couldnāt deal with my husband having someone else. Itās supposed to be just YOU AND ONlY YOU!
How could YOU WANT to be with someone who is willing to hurt you? They do not care and have shown they do not care. Iām sure he knows you didnāt cheat he just thinks it will justify what heās doing in your mind because youāre too dumb. And no Iām not calling you dumb Iām saying HE thinks youāre dumb. He thinks youāre dumb enough to stay after him giving you that lame excuse. Get out now and never look back. Youāll be so embarrassed when you do look back
Itās common sense to most but if u even had to take the time to ask, what answer r u really looking for?
I mean if youāre OK with allowing that kind of disrespect I guess listen to your home girls. Personally not a chance in hell Iād be sticking around. If you have any kind of relationship with his ex you can possibly still see the child of his that youāve been helping raise.
Why not get your own side piece? But in all seriousness, unless youāre willing to have an open marriage, you should consider a divorce.
Heās not a stray dog heās your husband. He knows where home is so why does get go out and cheat? fuck no sis get to stepping. Are you allowed a side piece too? Iād ask him lol!
You deserve better than that. There are good men out there. I know. Iāve been married to one now for almost 19 years. However, my first marriage my husband cheated on me and ended up marrying the woman after dumping me with infant twins. There are good men out there. Yours isnāt one. Dump his ass and find one.
Take some time to find out who you are and what you want. Itās okay to be by yourself for a while. You donāt have to have a man to be happy.
Either accept it or move on
Why are you even questioning this!!! He is cheating and completely comfortable telling you about it too. He doesnāt respect you and this will always happen!
Wait, your friends are telling you to stay?! Those people have either been with him or want to be. Leave, you deserve better and sticking in that situation isnāt healthy for you.
Rut roe Iād tell him 2 hit the road jack and dnt come back
āHomegirlsā? Are you still a child? Maybe yāall are better off separate. Sounds like thereās issues on both ends.
Iād get your ducks in a row girlie and hit him with a divorce!! You will get alimony, you will get support, you will be entitled to that house. He is a cheater, heās committed adultery and doesnāt give 2 shits about ur feelings.
LEAVE! Seriously. Have more respect for yourself and leave his sorry a** you deserve better!
I canāt believe you even have to ask this
You need to stay. Theyāre going to need a clown for that childās party.
3 options
1.Embrace Polyamory, let him know youāll be seeking a side piece as wellā¦
-
Be a doormat, let him sow his oats and have you waiting at home.
-
Leave and find someone who respects you!
This is disturbing to me that you even need to ask! Your a babysitter to his child! Get a job save your money and get out! Get someone who shows you respect! Your married he canāt make you leave your home! Stop babysitting and go do you!! You deserve respect!
I would have said oh Iām gonna get me a side B ā¦ Cause if he got someone on the sideā¦ Yāall wont last he dont plan on staying with you so dont try to build anything with him I would say that too.
Shoot I left with 3 kids went to a homeless shelter finished school now I make over a hundred thousand a year while my ex is still just playing frat boy
Leave. Unless you are willing to just play that role raise his son and take care of the home. His trust issue with you will never go away and now you will always think he is cheating with her or anyone else. It doesnāt get easier. And if you are having a hard time now it will only get harder once you start questioning his every movement
Youāre either okay with it and can deal with it or your not. Thatās a choice you have to make. Either stay with him because he takes care of everything or leave him and do life on your own and find someone who respects you. I think you know what actions need to be taken.
Leave run no donāt share he donāt care
Wtfff, crazy this is even a question. Run! With proof of him cheating, youāll prob get to keep the house. Know your worth, no one deserves that. What a POS
Oh honey. You deserve so much better. You got to make the decision that is best for you. Anybody can give you advice but you have to be the one to take control of your own life. Hugs
I would leave him so fast it would make his head spin
Leave. If he is still talking to her while sitting with you then you are the side piece. Go find someone who respects you and wants to be with you and only you.
Girl why are your standards so low?
Know your worth whilst u chose to still stay knowing youāre teaching him how to treat you! It will only escalate and get worse who is to say he wonāt want to move her in? who is to say he wont expect u to join in? who is to say he may want to get rid of u in time and be with her or others. What about STDās etc etc. Get some therapy it may help get a plan and get the hell out
Know your self worth and leave 
xx
Take a big step back and watch
You donāt wanna lose him? Hereās a newsflash for you, you lost him a long time ago. And Iām sorry but from everything youāre saying youāre better off.
So youāre the nanny with benefits? Youāre raising his kid, cleaning his house for money and he goes on vacation with another woman child free? Big ole nope for me.
This is really a very simple questionā¦ first only you can answer this question
Are you willing to put up with this (sounds like you have been )
Or are you going to leave
It doesnāt matter what anyone else thinks or would do ā¦ you are a adult so make your bed and lay in
They say you canāt have it both ways but apparently he can
Itās your choice
Are you being serious or just looking for laughs ? Why would you want to be with someone that cheats on you and he lets you know this ? Obviously you caught him on his cell phone and social media . It must bother you to ask on here ! Common sense RUN! If heās cheating on you as his wife heās going to cheat on the girl heās seeing on the side probably just for sex at his convenience when he needs it
You need to Stuart making plans to secure your destiny. Get your finances straight even if that means being secretive. Cuz at any given moment this side chick could become a main chick and then where does that leave you? You wonāt have have a choice then just like you didnāt have a choice when he stepped out. Sorry girl for what you got going on. 
Girl! Itās time to take the trash out!!!
Omg!
I canāt even believe you are asking what to do!
Get a good lawyer. Alimony 
If your writing this, sounds like your minds already made up that you will tolerate thisā¦ thatās degrading to you as woman!ā¦ helllllllllll no! Just nooooooo brah!
Heās not seeing her on occasion though. Heās going on vacations and stuff with her. Does he take you on vacations? Sounds like itās time to go. Itās not a random hookup every once in a while (not that thatās good either), but itās a full on other relationship. No thanks.
Itās sad to see that you even have to ask for validation in an answer. Please respect yourself enough to not be playing second (or third or fourth) best to any other woman in your marriage!
You deserve someone who puts you first! Not uses you!
What?
Girl figure out what you want. He sounds like a loser tho
I am out of a relationship with someone that was cheating. Only differenceā¦he lied about it and attacked me when I asked him about her. Thatās where he is living now and has gone all over town and turned the tables on me. Iām shocked and embarrassed at the lies he has told. In the meantime, he shows up here crying and hysterical. He messages me constantly or calls me. I donāt let him in my house or answer his calls or text messages. I went āno contactā since September and I am sticking to it. When he is caught in a lie, he gets violent. I have known this man since high school and never would have believed that he could be so shady. He did the same thing in Florida. I cannot believe my own stupidity. They donāt change.
Poliamor baby!! Itās the best.
Youāre a lost cause, you should not be an option!!!
If its making you uncomfortable, I would definitely leave. My husband and I are Polyamorous and enjoy this sort of thing but it is not for everyone. Good luck on your journey and never let people on the internet give you relationship advice. It always end badly lol
Hell nah man. You are a queen and deserve way better. Put that trash where it belongs!
Honey, heās the one losing you. Please leave. You will find someone so so much better. Heās trash.
Staying just shows these types of men itās ok. It breeds this type of man and inexcusable behavior. Youāre better than that. Heās not worth it.
So that kid isnāt even yours and youāre playing stay at home mum, allowing him to cheat and do what he wants, just because he finances you? Grow up girl and see your self worth!
Aint no way this is real?? 
Girl GOOOOO. You deserve better. So do them kids 
The only thing you need to be doing is gathering info for your damn case against him. Get your paper rightāperiod. Work out what your settlement should be and move forwardā¦he has already left
I think the question you need to ask yourself, and only you can answer this is, what do do deserve? If this kinda life is what you think youāre worth then stay. If you know in your heart you deserve better, and want better, and youāre not prepared to settle for less, then leave. And be ok with being on your own until you find the relationship that will be good to and for you. It may take years, and that needs to be ok.
This one HAS to be a jokeā¦ it just has to 
Ew wtf. I mean if you wanna risk getting STDāsā:nauseated_face: why would you stand by a man that cheats on you and takes her vacations while sit and raise HIS kid? Sounds like you need to gain some independence and stop relying on him. He sounds like a bitch.
Girlā¦goāonā¦.who needs that nonsense? Heās a douche.
Girl please do yourself a favor and leave! Get a job and get financially independent and I promise you will enjoy your life. My heart breaks for u. I pray u get the courage to stand up for yourself and value your own worth. And tbh shame on your friends for telling u to stay quite
Itās whatever is bet for YOU. A lot of woman stay for the stability, are you will to look past it? To be fair if he aināt paying your bills and also taking you on vacations Iād be done with him.
Good grief! You need to ask? Respect yourself! Run!
Sounds like your justifying it by saying he sees her on occasion honey . Throw it back to him an say how would you feel if I were doing that having a side guy??? An hey if you can do it I can too ! Not that you would but Iād make him think I was if you decide to stay which is how it reads . Me personally heās not worth having an being disrespected like that just no !! Thereās diseases out there honey an Iām dang sure he wouldnāt put up with you having a side piece
My philosophy where a man is concerned is "if I am too much of a woman for you to commit to and be faithful to and you need a lesser woman on the sideā¦then I never needed you to begin withā¦go!
Waitā¦you said you are raising your child together, but its not your bio? Meaning you are raising his kid while he is going on vacations with and banging some other woman? THIS is why men try this shit. Love yourself. āPlay your partā? Girl, I would have the leading role on āTake That Man for all he Hasā
Megan Ghee Amber Brown
Is thisā¦ real? I mean come the fuck on.
It sounds like your turning into the side b and sheās sheās taking your crown. Be the women youāre meant to be and take that crown and step away before you look like a joker
You might not be working but being a housewife is work!! Sounds like heās using you as a nanny, maid, prostitute, etcā¦
The other woman has it better than you, dipping into his pockets via gifts & travel without having to do all the mundane daily dirty work.
So your husband told you he has someone else heās sleeping with and spending money on and youāre worried about staying home and taking care of HIS kid. I- ā¦ no maāam. This one just has to be fake.
Sweetheart, that decision is yours and yours alone to make. I myself wouldnāt do it. I respect myself more than that. I know my worth. However, you do whatever feels right in your heart. Your happiness is what matters. Not his.
O baby know your worth! You deserve someone so much better
You realize how many men there are in this world and how short life is. Why are you settling for a man who is complete garbage when you can heal find your self love and eventually be with a man who wouldnāt think about doing this. I know it hurts, but donāt forget your worth.
Leave him now, before he leaves you. If you keep knowingly allowing him to go with his side chick, eventually heās going to leave u anyways for her and maybe another side chick. Then youāve allowed yourself to live through this misery all for nothing.
Hes doing wrong and knows it by blaming you for something that never happened. Heās got a free baby sitter for his kid and obviously does not care for how u feel. All that adds up to drop his ass.
I donāt mean to sound funny when I say this but did you post this for a rant or actual advice?
Cause I donāt think youāre gonna like what people say.
You say you donāt want to lose him. Does that mean youāre going to put up with it? Cause he wonāt stop. Heāll just hide it better
Damn. 
Donāt even girl. Just leave. If he wanted that life he should have told you.
I definitely wouldnāt give up my independence to raise someone elseās kid and take care of home while theyāre out there cheating and taking some other woman on vacations. Iād leave and let him figure out how to get childcare for his child. Such disrespect.
WhaaaaaaaaaaTTT !!
He is going to leave you for her or another girl. Go to work. Save some money.
My ex was unfaithful to me and treated me like SHIT! Ialways wished I wouldve cheated backā¦ i always said āi would neverā but I wish I would have.
Like heck would I stay with someone just to pay my bills and take care of me!! We live in a world now where women can be happy and independent without the need of a man. Have some self respect for you, why be with a man that wants the best of both worlds. it may be hard now but one day youāll look back and think I did it!!
This is nuts. Kick his ass to the curve do not allow him to do as he wants while u play ur part. Smh. If he isnāt only about u and taking care of what heās suppose to do then WHY DO I ALLOW SUCH THING. GET A JOB PAY UR OWN THING AND BOSS UP AND I PROMISE U YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE