My husband told me he has a side chick

Ladies, my husband just confirmed today that he has a main B (me) and a side B a girl I recently found out he has been seeing and taking on vacations. They text through social media and stuff all the time, even while he will be with me. We have had rough spots through our relationship and it has not been easy (he thinks I cheated((I did not ever)) so he uses that to justify his actions). I do not want to lose him but I do not want him to continue cheating. He is obviously going to do what he wants to do but I’m stuck on what to do. He takes care of everything that needs to be taken care of financially while I raise our son (Not my bio). So am I to “play my part” and allow whatever “as long as he knows where home is” like my homegirls tell me? Or risk losing everything over someone my husband chooses to go see on an occasion?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My husband told me he has a side chick - Mamas Uncut

Leave that idiot. Don’t put up with that crap.

Uh no you leave. You aren’t a doormat. He comes home to use you.

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Well staying is showing him its okay. Once a cheater always a cheater. Make him realize what he’s lost when both of yall realize he’s a pos.

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Girl respect yourself prepare to leave get a job and save money and start looking for some place to go

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ok, so you either leave him because he’s not fully satisfied with you and he never will be. or you stay, have an open marriage and let him carry on with what he’s doing. if you could handle having an open marriage then stay. but if not, leave.

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Is this a real question? Girl get some self-respect and leave :100:

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Omg how is this even a question? Once a cheater always a cheater. He believe he can because “he takes care of everything”. You need to leave asap and never look back!

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Either leave him or invite a sister wife into your family lol

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Uhhh bye boy. I’d leave his ass and let the side chick have him fuckkkk that

And lose your dignity and self respect? I don’t think so.

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Girl… you need to leave. Yes it may be hard at first but you’ll be happier in the long run. Never settle for anything less. If you need to stay a little to save some money to leave then do that but don’t tell him what you plan on doing. Just suprise him when you do leave

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Girl leaveeeee. Unless your open to an open marriage and you can do the same thing. I’d run as fast as i can. Especially if your taking care of his son that is not biologically yours!

Really?! Get some self respect. If someone did that to your daughter, for example what would your reaction be? Follow that.

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What do you value: love or money? If it is love - leave. If it is money - stay.

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I know what it’s like to be home raising children while the other party is enjoying a vacation entertaining someone eles then he gave me hpv he didn’t feel bad about that or spreading it all over town…if this is the lifestyle you want if it’s worth it but if that was me I know I’ll never be faithful to a man that entertains thats not fair

Leave…start over!..because what if he moves in the other girl ?
You deserve better

Your his built in babysitter girl dnt take that.

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I would go get a job, save money and bounce. Even if your struggling it’ll will all work out. I couldn’t deal with my husband having someone else. It’s supposed to be just YOU AND ONlY YOU!

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How could YOU WANT to be with someone who is willing to hurt you? They do not care and have shown they do not care. I’m sure he knows you didn’t cheat he just thinks it will justify what he’s doing in your mind because you’re too dumb. And no I’m not calling you dumb I’m saying HE thinks you’re dumb. He thinks you’re dumb enough to stay after him giving you that lame excuse. Get out now and never look back. You’ll be so embarrassed when you do look back

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It’s common sense to most but if u even had to take the time to ask, what answer r u really looking for?

I mean if you’re OK with allowing that kind of disrespect I guess listen to your home girls. Personally not a chance in hell I’d be sticking around. If you have any kind of relationship with his ex you can possibly still see the child of his that you’ve been helping raise.

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Why not get your own side piece? But in all seriousness, unless you’re willing to have an open marriage, you should consider a divorce.

He’s not a stray dog he’s your husband. He knows where home is so why does get go out and cheat? fuck no sis get to stepping. Are you allowed a side piece too? I’d ask him lol!

You deserve better than that. There are good men out there. I know. I’ve been married to one now for almost 19 years. However, my first marriage my husband cheated on me and ended up marrying the woman after dumping me with infant twins. There are good men out there. Yours isn’t one. Dump his ass and find one.
Take some time to find out who you are and what you want. It’s okay to be by yourself for a while. You don’t have to have a man to be happy.

Either accept it or move on

Why are you even questioning this!!! He is cheating and completely comfortable telling you about it too. He doesn’t respect you and this will always happen!

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Wait, your friends are telling you to stay?! Those people have either been with him or want to be. Leave, you deserve better and sticking in that situation isn’t healthy for you.

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Rut roe I’d tell him 2 hit the road jack and dnt come back

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“Homegirls”? Are you still a child? Maybe y’all are better off separate. Sounds like there’s issues on both ends.

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I’d get your ducks in a row girlie and hit him with a divorce!! You will get alimony, you will get support, you will be entitled to that house. He is a cheater, he’s committed adultery and doesn’t give 2 shits about ur feelings.

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LEAVE! Seriously. Have more respect for yourself and leave his sorry a** you deserve better!

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I can’t believe you even have to ask this

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You need to stay. They’re going to need a clown for that child’s party.:partying_face:

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3 options

1.Embrace Polyamory, let him know you’ll be seeking a side piece as well…

  1. Be a doormat, let him sow his oats and have you waiting at home.

  2. Leave and find someone who respects you!

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This is disturbing to me that you even need to ask! Your a babysitter to his child! Get a job save your money and get out! Get someone who shows you respect! Your married he can’t make you leave your home! Stop babysitting and go do you!! You deserve respect!

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I would have said oh I’m gonna get me a side B … Cause if he got someone on the side… Y’all wont last he dont plan on staying with you so dont try to build anything with him I would say that too.

Shoot I left with 3 kids went to a homeless shelter finished school now I make over a hundred thousand a year while my ex is still just playing frat boy

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Leave. Unless you are willing to just play that role raise his son and take care of the home. His trust issue with you will never go away and now you will always think he is cheating with her or anyone else. It doesn’t get easier. And if you are having a hard time now it will only get harder once you start questioning his every movement

You’re either okay with it and can deal with it or your not. That’s a choice you have to make. Either stay with him because he takes care of everything or leave him and do life on your own and find someone who respects you. I think you know what actions need to be taken.

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Leave run no don’t share he don’t care

Wtfff, crazy this is even a question. Run! With proof of him cheating, you’ll prob get to keep the house. Know your worth, no one deserves that. What a POS

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Oh honey. You deserve so much better. You got to make the decision that is best for you. Anybody can give you advice but you have to be the one to take control of your own life. Hugs

I would leave him so fast it would make his head spin

Leave. If he is still talking to her while sitting with you then you are the side piece. Go find someone who respects you and wants to be with you and only you.

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Girl why are your standards so low?

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Know your worth whilst u chose to still stay knowing you’re teaching him how to treat you! It will only escalate and get worse who is to say he won’t want to move her in? who is to say he wont expect u to join in? who is to say he may want to get rid of u in time and be with her or others. What about STD’s etc etc. Get some therapy it may help get a plan and get the hell out

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Know your self worth and leave :two_hearts:xx

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Take a big step back and watch

You don’t wanna lose him? Here’s a newsflash for you, you lost him a long time ago. And I’m sorry but from everything you’re saying you’re better off.

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So you’re the nanny with benefits? You’re raising his kid, cleaning his house for money and he goes on vacation with another woman child free? Big ole nope for me.

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This is really a very simple question… first only you can answer this question
Are you willing to put up with this (sounds like you have been )
Or are you going to leave
It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or would do … you are a adult so make your bed and lay in
They say you can’t have it both ways but apparently he can
It’s your choice

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Are you being serious or just looking for laughs ? Why would you want to be with someone that cheats on you and he lets you know this ? Obviously you caught him on his cell phone and social media . It must bother you to ask on here ! Common sense RUN! If he’s cheating on you as his wife he’s going to cheat on the girl he’s seeing on the side probably just for sex at his convenience when he needs it

You need to Stuart making plans to secure your destiny. Get your finances straight even if that means being secretive. Cuz at any given moment this side chick could become a main chick and then where does that leave you? You won’t have have a choice then just like you didn’t have a choice when he stepped out. Sorry girl for what you got going on. :frowning:

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Girl! It’s time to take the trash out!!!

Omg!
I can’t even believe you are asking what to do!

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Get a good lawyer. Alimony :+1:

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If your writing this, sounds like your minds already made up that you will tolerate this… that’s degrading to you as woman!… helllllllllll no! Just nooooooo brah!

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He’s not seeing her on occasion though. He’s going on vacations and stuff with her. Does he take you on vacations? Sounds like it’s time to go. It’s not a random hookup every once in a while (not that that’s good either), but it’s a full on other relationship. No thanks.

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It’s sad to see that you even have to ask for validation in an answer. Please respect yourself enough to not be playing second (or third or fourth) best to any other woman in your marriage!
You deserve someone who puts you first! Not uses you!

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What?

Girl figure out what you want. He sounds like a loser tho

I am out of a relationship with someone that was cheating. Only difference…he lied about it and attacked me when I asked him about her. That’s where he is living now and has gone all over town and turned the tables on me. I’m shocked and embarrassed at the lies he has told. In the meantime, he shows up here crying and hysterical. He messages me constantly or calls me. I don’t let him in my house or answer his calls or text messages. I went “no contact” since September and I am sticking to it. When he is caught in a lie, he gets violent. I have known this man since high school and never would have believed that he could be so shady. He did the same thing in Florida. I cannot believe my own stupidity. They don’t change.

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Poliamor baby!! It’s the best.

You’re a lost cause, you should not be an option!!!

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If its making you uncomfortable, I would definitely leave. My husband and I are Polyamorous and enjoy this sort of thing but it is not for everyone. Good luck on your journey and never let people on the internet give you relationship advice. It always end badly lol

Hell nah man. You are a queen and deserve way better. Put that trash where it belongs!

Honey, he’s the one losing you. Please leave. You will find someone so so much better. He’s trash.

Staying just shows these types of men it’s ok. It breeds this type of man and inexcusable behavior. You’re better than that. He’s not worth it.

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So that kid isn’t even yours and you’re playing stay at home mum, allowing him to cheat and do what he wants, just because he finances you? Grow up girl and see your self worth!

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Aint no way this is real?? :rofl: Girl GOOOOO. You deserve better. So do them kids :woman_shrugging:

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The only thing you need to be doing is gathering info for your damn case against him. Get your paper right—period. Work out what your settlement should be and move forward…he has already left

I think the question you need to ask yourself, and only you can answer this is, what do do deserve? If this kinda life is what you think you’re worth then stay. If you know in your heart you deserve better, and want better, and you’re not prepared to settle for less, then leave. And be ok with being on your own until you find the relationship that will be good to and for you. It may take years, and that needs to be ok.

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This one HAS to be a joke… it just has to :woozy_face:

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Ew wtf. I mean if you wanna risk getting STD’s​:nauseated_face: why would you stand by a man that cheats on you and takes her vacations while sit and raise HIS kid? Sounds like you need to gain some independence and stop relying on him. He sounds like a bitch.:woman_shrugging:t2:

Girl…go’on….who needs that nonsense? He’s a douche.

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Girl please do yourself a favor and leave! Get a job and get financially independent and I promise you will enjoy your life. My heart breaks for u. I pray u get the courage to stand up for yourself and value your own worth. And tbh shame on your friends for telling u to stay quite

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It’s whatever is bet for YOU. A lot of woman stay for the stability, are you will to look past it? To be fair if he ain’t paying your bills and also taking you on vacations I’d be done with him. :woman_shrugging:

Good grief! You need to ask? Respect yourself! Run!

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Sounds like your justifying it by saying he sees her on occasion honey . Throw it back to him an say how would you feel if I were doing that having a side guy??? An hey if you can do it I can too ! Not that you would but I’d make him think I was if you decide to stay which is how it reads . Me personally he’s not worth having an being disrespected like that just no !! There’s diseases out there honey an I’m dang sure he wouldn’t put up with you having a side piece

My philosophy where a man is concerned is "if I am too much of a woman for you to commit to and be faithful to and you need a lesser woman on the side…then I never needed you to begin with…go!

Wait…you said you are raising your child together, but its not your bio? Meaning you are raising his kid while he is going on vacations with and banging some other woman? THIS is why men try this shit. Love yourself. “Play your part”? Girl, I would have the leading role on ‘Take That Man for all he Has’

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Megan Ghee Amber Brown

Is this… real? I mean come the fuck on. :woozy_face::woozy_face::woozy_face::woozy_face::woozy_face::woozy_face:

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It sounds like your turning into the side b and she’s she’s taking your crown. Be the women you’re meant to be and take that crown and step away before you look like a joker

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You might not be working but being a housewife is work!! Sounds like he’s using you as a nanny, maid, prostitute, etc…

The other woman has it better than you, dipping into his pockets via gifts & travel without having to do all the mundane daily dirty work.

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So your husband told you he has someone else he’s sleeping with and spending money on and you’re worried about staying home and taking care of HIS kid. I- … no ma’am. This one just has to be fake.

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Sweetheart, that decision is yours and yours alone to make. I myself wouldn’t do it. I respect myself more than that. I know my worth. However, you do whatever feels right in your heart. Your happiness is what matters. Not his.

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O baby know your worth! You deserve someone so much better

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You realize how many men there are in this world and how short life is. Why are you settling for a man who is complete garbage when you can heal find your self love and eventually be with a man who wouldn’t think about doing this. I know it hurts, but don’t forget your worth.

Leave him now, before he leaves you. If you keep knowingly allowing him to go with his side chick, eventually he’s going to leave u anyways for her and maybe another side chick. Then you’ve allowed yourself to live through this misery all for nothing.

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Hes doing wrong and knows it by blaming you for something that never happened. He’s got a free baby sitter for his kid and obviously does not care for how u feel. All that adds up to drop his ass.

I don’t mean to sound funny when I say this but did you post this for a rant or actual advice?
Cause I don’t think you’re gonna like what people say.

You say you don’t want to lose him. Does that mean you’re going to put up with it? Cause he won’t stop. He’ll just hide it better

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Damn. :unamused: Don’t even girl. Just leave. If he wanted that life he should have told you.

I definitely wouldn’t give up my independence to raise someone else’s kid and take care of home while they’re out there cheating and taking some other woman on vacations. I’d leave and let him figure out how to get childcare for his child. Such disrespect.

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WhaaaaaaaaaaTTT !!:weary::sob::joy::woman_facepalming:t4:

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He is going to leave you for her or another girl. Go to work. Save some money.

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My ex was unfaithful to me and treated me like SHIT! Ialways wished I wouldve cheated back… i always said “i would never” but I wish I would have.

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Like heck would I stay with someone just to pay my bills and take care of me!! We live in a world now where women can be happy and independent without the need of a man. Have some self respect for you, why be with a man that wants the best of both worlds. it may be hard now but one day you’ll look back and think I did it!!

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This is nuts. Kick his ass to the curve do not allow him to do as he wants while u play ur part. Smh. If he isn’t only about u and taking care of what he’s suppose to do then WHY DO I ALLOW SUCH THING. GET A JOB PAY UR OWN THING AND BOSS UP AND I PROMISE U YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE