You need to decide what your own personal standard is. Can’t let your friends decide that. Only you and you alone know what that is. Men respect women who respect themselves. Letting him cheat on you is telling me maybe you need to do some work or you and kick him to the door or you leave. Your a fool to stay with him. My advice is get out while u can. If he loves you let him fight for you.
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Keturah Graves IKYFL 
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Wow is this even a serious situation 
you are married looking after a kid that ain’t yours and your husband is shagging another bird and your asking if that’s OK because he provides financially wow girl talk about low frigging morals get ya ass your own frigging income tell him to look after his own dam kid and walk your ass to court and take him for half of everything he owns in the divorce you don’t want to loose him no baby girl you don’t want to loose the memories because no sane woman would stand for this bs
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It’s whatever you can live with?
Personally, would not.
Are you wanting an open relationship?
We allow and show people how to treat us! What are you gonna allow?
Might as well move her in…for real though if you don’t have kids, move on. It’s only a matter of time before he gets her pregnant and your out the door anyway
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U are the only one who can answer that question. Personally, I would pack my stuff and be gone if I was not the only one.
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Sounds like you’re the babysitter not a wife to him. I’d dip out of that marriage if I were you.
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Girl if you don’t drop your bonus son to his mama and let your husband come home to a stack of divorce papers and all your stuff gone.
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I’d find a side dude and see how he likes it but I’m Petty ASF.
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I’d dump him and run. Unless all you really want is him to pay for everything and don’t care about the rest.
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Fuck that! You need to know your worth, wtf
So you are taking card of his child (not bio) and he has a “side chick”? How many other “not bios” are you going to take care of? Cheating is cheating…Infidelity will always happen by him, especially if you let it!! No options!
Get a job and some self respect. Why would you let anyone demean you that way? You are worth more than that. But, we all have to learn our own lessons and this is yours to learn.
You ain’t his main anything not even his side… your just the baby sitter and maid. Girl leave. Or find a side dude🤷🏻♀️ I’m petty !
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No one can answer that for you. It’s your call. Good luck. Look deep within yourself
Set your boundaries. Are you willing to put up with that? Cuz I’d walk tf out
You know what to do. It’s not right to stay with him. If you know you didn’t cheat, by allowing him to do what he is doing, you are admitting to him having a reason to cheat. Get away from him
It all comes down to what you think you are worth. You’ve already lost him if he sees someone else. If it were me I’d take all his money a f anything else I could get from him and tell him goodbye. He’s a piece of crap. Anyone who does that is.
Woaaahhh. Id be outta there so fast
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That’s because he wants you to cheat
Monogamy isnt for everyone, polyamory gives the both of you freedom to visit others
Maybe something to consider
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Get your own side dude
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It’s called, show some respect for yourself and leave. He will never change as long as you’re sitting there hoping he stops. You make him stop. You leave and if he really sees the error in his ways he will quit playing games. If he doesn’t, then you’re already gone.
“ My husband has a side chick but I don’t wanna lose him” man I have no advice for women like this 
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well if that’s something you wanna be cool with that’s your life , either put up with not being important enough to be the only or MOVE ON, sounds like you have no kids of your own , his child is yours too through marriage but I’d be fiming divorce looking for a job and a friend to stay with , you can either let your life be your own or let it belong to him to USE as he pleases ,
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Lose everything? You have nothing. He doesn’t respect you.
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You deserve better 
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Get a job and start putting money aside. Then leave as soon as your able. Distance yourself in the meantime. It will never stop. He is cheating and trying to justify it. There is no justification for something like that unless you got into the relationship knowing it would be an open one.
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Why the hell do you care about losing someone who has straight up told you that you are replaceable. I’m sure the other chick has a back up too. This “man” is a loser and is a terrible role model. If you are happy and glad that your partner can bang it out with other people than by all means play your part. I don’t want to be owned or controlled by anyone and paying bills is not a good relationship partner make. This isn’t the 1800 where having a man was important. I’d rather be alone but you decide what your lifestyle and worth is valued at. Some women are ok looking in the mirror and don’t care about what the reality of their life is as long as they are “taken” care of in a material way. Only you can decide what you want for yourself and your child.
Leave girl. You deserve better.
I’d be gone. Like now. You’re better than that and he’s a pig for thinking it’s ok. No one has to put up with that crap. Find a job and someone you can stay with for a while until you can get on your feet.
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Is this a serious question I’m main b and side b lol you don’t want just me… please leave 
Your “homegirls” do not love you
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Are you serious?!? Pick your self respect up off of the floor. Pack your shit and bounce! This shouldn’t even be a question.
He had broken your marriage vows and he doesn’t seem to care. It’s time to move on
Oh no ma’am! He’s lost his mind! Sounds like you already lost him and are providing child care
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Dick and a paycheck are a dime a dozen. Yall have no children together, you are raising his son as your own taking care of his house, and he justifying cheating because he brings in a paycheck?.. it’s obviously your call and what you’re comfortable with but like I said… Dick and a paycheck are a dime a dozen 
There’s nothing preventing him from continuing to cheat. You’re financially dependent on him and you’re taking care of his son, who is not even your biological child. Leave him, he doesn’t respect you, you don’t even respect you. Why don’t you want to lose him? What’s so great about him that you don’t want to leave?
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Why do y’all settle for this nonsense😒. There is no question here.
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Leave before he leaves you and you don’t have no money or a back up plan
Jesus Christ 
are you really that stupid… Are you seriously gonna let him disrespect you like this. You deserve to be a man’s one and only.
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Ok a lot of these people it seems like they haven’t been through this type of situation personally and honestly I would say get away because you deserve so much better that’s from an outside perspective but that would also be making me a hypocrite because I have two kids with my fiance and do love him very much but he has cheated on me numerous times and uses the excuse every single time that we were fighting or he thought we were about to break up and when I tell him that’s a shitty excuse to fuck me over like that he starts bringing up men that I used to talk to way before him and tries to constantly say I was cheating on him with them and that never happened ever I never have cheated on him still to this day. And honestly don’t go cheat on him and have a side piece because I can guarantee he will use that against you for the rest of your life to validate his shitty actions and there’s no pint in stooping to his level no matter how pissed you are you should still keep your morals the same… I have thought about leaving my fiance numerous times and have never actually got the nerve to or justify me staying by telling myself I don’t know where I’d be without him because he does support me and our daughters completely financially and tell myself what would I have without him but I’m honestly trying to get my shit together and find a good job so I don’t have to feel or think that way and won’t be scared to leave him because of that
Girl…you’re the side chick…don’t kid yourself…
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I mean, I get being taken care of financially without having to work would be awesome. I’m the breadwinner in my relationship and I can only DREAM of being able to stay home and have a kid and raise it. If I were being taken care of financially and I didn’t care if he’s seeing someone else (which according to your post you don’t SEEM super upset about the cheat part, you just don’t want to loose him?) I would just keep living my life as normal and maybe get me a side piece as well. If he thinks you’re cheating and uses that to justify his own cheating. Start cheating 
if he can have someone on the side you can too.
The only other option is to leave but you clearly aren’t at that stage yet.
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Yes ladies go off 
she need to hear this one all the RUN people , here’s your time to shine 
Your mind is already made up . If you gotta defend it then it’s wrong . When you got married was that apart of your promise to each other , to have and to hold one another and others ? No offense but people only do what you allow
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Can you tell me what you have to lose cause your hubby isn’t YOUR hubby he’s like public transportation where anyone and everyone can get a ride while you sit home taking care of a kid that’s not yours lolol. Wth is wrong with ppl to think that this kind of shit is okay to deal with?!
I mean that’s kind of your own personal choice
Take everything you want while he’s at work, drop the child off w his parents and hit the road. Sounds like the beginning of an amazing adventure to me.
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Why are you acting like you’re the side chick!! Stop torturing yourself leave the SOB!!! All you have now is someone that cheats on his wife!!
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If he can afford to provide for you and spoil her, divorce him and take him for all he’s worth.
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seriously? Would you ask your mom or dad, what should I do? What would they say? “Sure! Be a free babysitter, give up all your hopes and dreams, be used, pay the price of your dignity to have a roof over your head! Be an occasional piece for YOUR HUSBAND!!,” or maybe “WTF are you thinking?!? Have him take care of his own kid, regain your self dignity and worth! Love yourself, know your self worth, you deserve MUCH better. Get a job to support yourself! KICK HIS BUTT TO THE CURB! But first and most importantly, get a GOOD attorney!” Does he control all the money? If so, are you just living with a narcissist? Get a grip on reality girl!
Nah leave his ass. You don’t deserve that and frankly I know you’ve been his child’s caretaker but you aren’t the mother you can visit the child on occasion during your divorce or while y’all are working on things. But the child isn’t your responsibility. As bad as it sounds. He’s using you to watch and take care of his child while he runs around and treats some other woman like he should be treating you since your his wife. You can find a man that will love you and not treat you like shit, and you can find a job and get your own things you don’t need him. Level up babe. Know your worth. Move on!
You the babysitter. Move on, nothing to save but yourself.
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Start saving up money and leave.
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I don’t even know how to respond to this. You took marriage vows and you think it would be ok to share him with someone?
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Sounds like you got more then your cheating husband who doesn’t respect you… your homegirl’s arent true friends if they are telling you to stay and play your part either.
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Why are you staying? For the money? WHAT???
Leave and find someone who will appreciate the things you do. Why would you stay knowing you are not enough. Don’t let this man disrespect you like that.
Your raising his child and he is paying your bills . While the other girl gets vacations and time. Hate to break it to you but your being used and the one he spending vacation with is the one he wants to be with
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Do you like being treated like a DOORMAT or would you rather be happy? If it’s the latter, then I would walk away and if you enjoy it, then stay and be unhappy for the rest of your life. Your choice.
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Withdraw money & call it severance then say bye 
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Is that even a question? Have some self respect…unless you are ok with it then let him continue to cheat, destroy you and every bit of dignity you have.
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Better off just doing what you need to do for yourself while he is out on vacation with side chick. He lied and placed the blame on you to make himself look like he in the right. Thats your red flag. Make a get a way bag for when your ready before we figure out who chick a is.
No you are not a doormate end it move on
There is no way your friends really told you that???
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Match the energy babygirl and it’s all good. 
#openrelationships
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Ruuuuun… now… fast… that’s not ok… you’ll pick yourself up and be fine
People treat you the way that you allow them to treat you. Ask yourself are u happy? If not leave
Why give someone so much power over your own happiness ? Vacations that should be a family experience not the side chick. Best of luck
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Choose YOU 
would you want your daughter sister or niece staying with someone so disrespectful to cheat and act like it’s cool because he handles all the financial stuff? No get half and move fwd with your life if I read correctly you have no biological kids with him? Move on
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Youre kidding right? Please…tell me youre kidding.
Do you WANT an open relationship? Because if he can then you can and if thats okay with yall then whos to judge 
nowadays throuples work out just fine for some people…
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Get new friends… and leave him. Love yourself sis
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I’d honestly leave,
Why should you be doing all the housework and etc while he’s out there missing with another girl. That’s not right at all. Id start looking for a job and another place to stay
You don’t want to lose a lying cheating husband… why. What good is he to you. He’s not committed or loyal. Good grief. Send his ass packing.
Take some money & go.
That’s a bunch of bullshit & it sounds ridiculous that you would even say “play my part”
Hate to break this to you, but you have your roles reversed. She’s the main chick and you’ve become the side chick.
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Get you a side dude baby girl.
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My fiance tried to do the same thing told him that he couldn’t since the girl is 17
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Get a side dude duhhhh 
if your cool with him doing whatever then you can do whatever when he’s doing his whatever
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It de0ends on who you are as a woman. You can:
- Match energy and cheat too. Don’t reccomend this.
- Talk about having an open relationship so you can each see who u want honestly. But if he’s already cheating, idk if he’ll follow ur ground rules.
- Swinging.
- Thrupple- invite her into the relationship.
- Here’s what I would do… make a plan and keep it to yourself. Save money. Find an apartment or a friend to move in with. In the same day you move, file for divorce and empty his account. Leave that MF !
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Start stashing money and get your finances in order, make a plan( trust noone) and leave him
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Please don’t stay and let him cheat on you. You homegirls are ridiculous.
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Risk it…run. Fast and move on with your life!
That means you can have a side dude. Otherwise I’d say gtfo
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Is this really a post right now? Respect yourself girl. Wtf.
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If you don’t open your eyes and go live your life. Your thinking for him baby girl think for yourself
Leave or get you a boyfriend. Lots of couples now a days have an open marriage. You didn’t agree to that but if you stay you will be. Dont wait until she get pregnant cause that would hurt worse especially since you’ve been raising his child like your own and don’t have your own.
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Get rid of the w****r
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He’s using you as a built in nanny that he occasionally fucks. It shouldn’t even be a question in your mind to leave. Don’t let him treat you that way, you can find someone better!
I wish men were honest like this
I think that’s his way of telling you he doesn’t want to be with you anymore
Damn like why even torture yourself. Just leave. Its not your kid. And he treats you like dirt… Self esteem is important
Soimds like u made up ur mind…if money and comfort come before love and loyalty then go for it
Fuuuuuuuck that! Get rid of him, obviously not worth your time & dedication!
I mean, can you sit at home knowing he has a side chick? Some girls can, some cant. Personally I think there’s a lot of men in the world and you don’t need to get stabbed over mine
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Leave. Is the child his? Or yours?
Wtf. Get a boyfriend too or get a divorce.
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Honey, you know what you want , show yourself some respect. Give him an ultimatum you along with counseling, or her. Best of luck.
Leave if you are not in an open marriage or swinger lifestyle then he’s is cheating and you should leave him
Your “homegirls” must love all the red flags and toxic bs they can get 
in the words of Jenny, “Run, Forrest! Run!”
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You are wasting the best years of your life, staying in that relationship.
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