Your home is broke even if you stay in a loveless marriage. You both need counseling and marriage counseling. See it can be fixed and become better from this.
It’s better to live single with 2 happy parents then married with abusive parents. And I mean emotionally and mentally abused parents (it’s not always physical
1 Like
I have went through this. No matter with help he gets it will not change the feeling that he has for his best friend. You have to let him go to figure out what he truly wants but it’s your choice if you want to wait or not. I let my now ex husband go to see what he wanted. Now we are both happy without each other. If you ever need to talk. Pm me
1 Like
Staying in a relationship that has fallen out WILL create the broken home you wish to protect your children from. Really sick and tired of people equating a split situation as “broken” or “bad” for the kids. Being a single parent isn’t easy but it is certainly better than kids being raised around a couple that is spiraling. Custody plans exsist. It doesn’t have to be a one person takes all situation.
4 Likes
Home is already broken. He’s probably had a kid with her already
2 Likes
It’s better than you feeling like someone doesn’t love you I mean how much happiness can you give your kids when you’re miserable inside you’re basically cheating them out of having you happy
1 Like
It’s already a broken home . Time to rebuild a safe home instead
3 Likes
Leave his ass and the woman’s ass behind. You’re in a no-win situation - leave and don’t look back. Get an attorney and protect yourself and your kids.
Ultimately the decision to stay together or to divorce will be made. But before you do, please try counseling, couples, individual and family. If you still love each other and are willing to do the work, you made find your way to a stronger, happier and better marriage. But you both have to want to restore your marriage. It won’t work if only you are trying. I wish you all well. Here is an article I found interesting. 10 Reasons to Stay Together for the Sake of the Children
Don’t stay where you’re not wanted. He told you what he wanted. Believe what he said, and his actions. You will be miserable if you stay.
1 Like
The home started off broken with that mindset… Of course he is in love with his best friend… And you basically set back and allowed it all as well as helped it along… In his eyes and hers, you are weak, and will ALWAYS be there… Red flags from the beginning… The children are better off with 2 happy homes, over a miserable one. If you continue to allow it all, why does it matter??? Have respect for yourself and your children. Sorry to sound mean if so, but honesty is the best policy… Do you want your children to look at you how they both do??? You are creating a disaster for yourself, as well as their future with a partner… Sorry so blunt. BUT, you can come back from 4 years with someone at your age. Do not sit and think you can change or fix it… DEFINITELY NOT WORTH IT GIRL… MOVE ON AND BE HAPPY WITH SOMEONE WHO RESPECTS YOU… Best wishes and hugs… Run hun
2 Likes
He never really loved you. He’s always been in love with his best friend. You already have a broken home. You are just holding on to the allusion that you have a husband and marriage. File for divorce and get yourself some counseling. He will be a father because he is a father. Staying in a toxic loveless marriage isn’t mutually exclusive
2 Likes
That usually happens … men and women cannot be just friends. This happens more often than not. But anyways better to be from a broken home than a dysfunctional one. They will be daddy with mommy but loving another woman …
You said your husband is currently away getting help 
Is he away receiving mental health counseling for the issue you are currently facing regarding his feelings for his friend? I’m not sure what brought on your and your husband’s conversation regarding his feelings for his friend, but often times, people confess to help alleviate their own guilt. It’s not uncommon for people to love their friends, especially someone they consider their best friend. Were you able to discuss his feelings and love for his friend in depth prior to his leaving to receive help? If so, does he feel he will act upon those feelings or want to leave and build a relationship with her? If both parties are willing to put in the time and work, marriages can survive cheating and emotional affairs. It isn’t easy, but your marriage can survive. There isn’t any of us who can really tell you how you should or shouldn’t proceed, as only you know what is truly best for you, your children and your marriage. I’m not sure what the conditions are that you are working to get your husband diagnosed with, but unless those conditions are related to dementia, early onset Alzheimers or a severe head injury, I don’t think they will play a role in his feelings for his friend. The grass can definitely seem greener on the other side of the fence, as the day to day stress of a family, taking out the trash, doing laundry, chores, maintaining a home and yard, working, paying bills, caring for children, changing diapers, staying up at night with a sick child, attending appointments, school activities, extracurricular activities, church services, maintaining a vehicle, trying to stay afloat financially during these uncertain times in our country and rapidly increasing inflation and prices, can all add up quickly. Although, your husband may think or actually believe he will have a less stressful and demanding relationship with his friend, the reality is, he will be facing the exact same issues and obligations he is currently dealing with. Please do not make any rash decisions or act upon your raw, hurt and frazzled feelings, take time to really consider all your options, search your heart and figure out what is truly best for you, your children and your marriage and then decide if you want to proceed with counseling, marriage therapy, possibly moving away, working to rebuild your marriage and trust or take the next step and do a trial separation prior to proceeding with a divorce. If you or your husband share any of your personal life and current situation with any friends, coworkers or family members, please do not allow their feelings to influence how you and your husband handle this. Please do not worry about what others will think if you stay with your husband, rebuilding your marriage and trust or separate, leave and begin a new life. This is your and your children’s lives, not your friends, coworkers and family members lives. Big hugs mama.
I don’t understand? He LOVES his best friend, or he said he used to have feelings?
2 Likes
Move on hes not the one
It’s more important that children grow up with 2 parents who are happy, than 2 parents who stay together despite being unhappy. Staying together when one or both of you is unhappy will do far more damage to them than seeing their parents separate and improve their lives to a point where they can both be happy.
Seems like you got together very young and haven’t even really lived much life yet or learned who you each are as individuals - without each other. Hard to make a relationship work with someone else when you don’t really even know who you are or what you want to be or do with your life and where you want to go.
Don’t forget that just because you fell in love, doesn’t automatically mean you’re meant to be together forever. It would be nice and ideal if it always worked out like that, but it’s just not reality. People WANT love to be forever, but that doesn’t mean it supposed to be. Or even that it should be. 
Sometimes we are really only meant to be with people for a certain period of time, and if that time is up, it’s up. Better to move on and find happiness than to stay and dwell in misery. That isn’t going to make things good or better for anyone involved - least of all the kids. 
3 Likes
My last month’s Online earning was $14593 just by doing an easy job Online. I have joined this job about 3 months ago and in my first month i have made $12k+. I can’t believe how easy it was once I tried it out… Read Here
He WAS in love with her?
Or he IS in love with her?
If hes still in love with her…then he doesn’t really love you…
1 Like
It’s already a broken home.
I truly hate that statement.
I’d rather my kids come from a “broken” home rather see their mother not being loved properly. And thinking that it’s okay to settle it stay with someone because you love them. Love is not enough.
Get your thoughts together. You know what needs to be done
9 Likes
Better than living in hell! Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself
1 Like
Well if you’re not his best friend then it’s time to move on.
2 Likes
Oh hun. It’s over love. It’s time to cut that line that’s tied to him. You can’t love someone one sided. It’s time to REALLY think of yourself. You might be just dealing with a narcissistic person not anyone with diagnoses waiting to explain his behavior and feelings. Let it go love. You deserve better.
2 Likes
His best friend.
He loves her?
Kick him out.
Unless you don’t deserve your husband’s love.
And to be his best friend.
Girl, you are already sunk!
4 Likes
It’s better to be separate and happy, then to be together and miserable. They’ll pick up on that.
1 Like
Get an attorney and file something now while he is away. Trust me. Unless you really think he going to cut off all contact with this “bestie”- SMH. Girl go.
1 Like
Fast and pray for your husband. You are a good woman and he knows that. He needs total separation from the other woman and then let God have the final say. Praying for you x
2 Likes
Yeah he’s cheated on you more than once. Prob the whole time.
4 Likes
Better to come from a broken home
Instead of an unhappy home
9 Likes
He strung u along time to cut it
3 Likes
Better a broken home than an unhappy home. I would rather my kids see me single and happy. I would not want them to be taught to stay in a relationship just because 1 person is the mom and 1 is the dad. Teach them to be stronger than that and show them they deserve to do what it takes to be happy and healthy and not to settle.
4 Likes
Staying with a man that doesn’t love you is growing up in a broken home.
5 Likes
See if after he gets help for his problems he still feels the same way. His straying/thrill seeking behavior could be related to physical or mental illness. What was his motivation/excuse to cheat before?
You can also try marriage counseling, but if he’s already checked out of the relationship and moved on it might be moot. It could however help you both be more calm, decent and fair in decoupling.
In the meantime, get financial statements from everywhere you both or individually have money ASAP, including credit card statements. Six months to a year in the past & current statements. Keep two sets, one with a trusted friend or your lawyer.
Talk to a lawyer about divorce, child custody, child support, alimony if that’s a possibility (consults are free). Talk to a mediator if hubs is likely to let you have what you want in the split. As long as the court accepts the mediator’s paperwork (verify this—we got burned) it can be a cheaper and more humane way to divide the assets. Get all your ducks in a row & file for divorce first so you have an advantage.
You decide everything before the separation; the divorce is just a little paperwork after the mandatory separation period (usually 6 months, maybe more since you have kids). So put your efforts and thought into the separation agreement.
It’s hard to concentrate when your heart is broken, but what you do next can affect the rest of your life and that of your children. Push through the struggle and paperwork and break down afterwards or in private where kids can’t see/hear. Get everything you deserve but don’t be a bitter, vengeful a-hole.
Get a therapist for now & later to help you cope & reframe. Look at it this way, you’ll have free time to relax or have adventures when he has the kids, & if the other woman is decent, you’ll have another parent helping to raise your kids. If you enjoy her kids, keep that relationship.
Strive to be at least civil to each other & minimize contact at first if it sends you into a tailspin. Over time I hope you can all have a cordial or even friendly relationship with each other as you move on from the hurt & rear all your children together.
At least where I live, about half of the kids have divorced parents, so yours shouldn’t feel odd. If you have other divorced friends with kids it could be comforting for them to be able to talk to each other. Talk to your divorced friends and acquaintances about their experiences (this forum is also good). See what services/advice/legal references a local women’s center can offer. Get in a divorcee support group for as long as you need.
Kids are pretty adaptable. They may be sad for a while or they may just accept things; maybe get them some play therapy if available. They will learn there can be different rules for different homes. If you don’t lose it in front of them too much, they should be OK. They will take their cues from you. Reassure them you both will love them forever and always, they caused NONE of this, it’s between adults only. Focus on their having TWO homes and maybe two of each holiday like two Thanksgivings, two of each religious holiday celebrated, and TWO rooms to decorate. Deciding which decorations and which toys would go in her new room at her dad’s helped my daughter transition after we separated. BTW, both my kids are happily married.
Don’t bad mouth each other. Texting each other at first makes it easier to send and receive info with less emotion. Sometimes hearing their voice or seeing them can be a trigger.
As miserable as life seems now, you will gain resilience and power from taking the reins & be able to eventually recognize your own badassery. One day you may meet a partner you deserve with no mental issues and who will be faithful and treat you like the independent queen you are. 
Sending virtual hugs & holding you in my heart.
5 Likes
Aren’t you in theory supposed to marry your best friend? That’s what I’ve heard and he probably knew he was in love with her to begin with so very wrong on his part to get with you leading you to believe he wanted you
1 Like
And coming from a family where my parents stayed together while my mum cheated on my dad to also prevent a broken home. Let me tell you it still damaged me what my mum let me witness and put me through as a child ill never have a normal function in relationships my mum did irreparable damage I’d rather my parents had separated from each other then live in a broken home with a broken relationship and witness it. I’d of grown up alot better for it
4 Likes
You been together since you were preteens? Where and when did he pick up this female bestfriend?? Im sorry my Significant other is not making new female “bestfriend” after we have been together. Now if they were friends before thats different but as you stated you have been together since you were preteens so when where did this female “bestfriend” come along???
6 Likes
If you stay your children will be growing up in a broken home, with a broken mother. Leave and give your self and child a happy, home full of love , let then watch their mother grow and over time no longer be broken
6 Likes
Emotional cheating is not something you come back from. HE LOVES HER! You are already done hun. Respect yourself and walk away. His mental health is not your problem. Teach your kids they deserve love & Respect. Take advantage of his time away to pack his things & drop them off at her house, change the locks, and talk to a divorce lawyer.
2 Likes
It’s already broken 
2 Likes
ahhhh the she’s just a friend no need to worry about her, you are crazy blah ba fucking blah 
. Let him go!
broken is better than unhappy. you’ll be passing toxicity on to your children by staying. do yourself a favor & divorce him.
4 Likes
They wouldn’t be the only children in this world to come from a broken home. Better to be happy with kids
1 Like
Don’t use your children as an excuse to make bad desicions. What is good for your children is happy carrying parents wether it be together or apart. Can you really get over such breakage of trust and be happy? If you will be miserable in this marriage then you’re not doing your kids any favors staying in it.
3 Likes
Time to leave sad to say 
Maybe he was talking about his wife. She is his best friend and stays over night with the children. Did I read this wrong?
Your children will live what they learn from you and your husband like it or not. Is this what you want them to think a healthy marriage looks like? There is no excuse for his cheating. What are you teaching your kids to tolerate from others. Sincerely best of luck in rough situation.
1 Like
I think people get confused about what a broken home is. Divorce doesn’t necessarily mean the home is broken. Growing up with 2 homes, but 1 family isn’t a bad thing. If you guys can coparent together, putting aside all the adult issues, the children will be fine. Growing up in a home where the parents fight constantly, and pretend to love each other for the kids sake…that’s a broken home.
4 Likes
A broken home isn’t always parents being separated.bit is also broken when the parents are there JUST for the children. Leave on good terms, Co parent together and wish the best for each other. That’s how it should be, never force you or the other to stay. As the kids get older they will catch on and then try explaining it then.
1 Like
Sometimes you just have to ask is it better for two people to be “married” or two people to be fully-functional, happy adults in order to raise children. Sometimes the two are not synonymous. Sorry for the betrayal.
2 Likes
A broken home is way better than an unhappy home!
2 Likes
Coming from a broken home is better than living in home that is falling apart I wish you well with this
3 Likes
Broken home better than a broken mum???
You deserve more
3 Likes
I hate the term broken. My kids grew up living with me and their dad divorced and I feel we were far from broken. In fact, it was better. They got to see me happy, working towards goals that mattered to me instead of stressing over issues related to my marriage, my husband and whether I was being cheated on. They got to see how strong I am and how strong they can be. A broken home is one where neither of the adults are happy and these issues filtering down to the children. Show your children that starting over is not a bad thing. It’s a chance to make things better! They are young and resilient. The real harm to your children would come by staying. I know it hurts but you and your children deserve so much better!
7 Likes
A Broken home is not about staying in a bad marriage. You most definitely can have a Broken home with both parents in the home together and that makes room for a lot of trauma that the little ones will have to overcome in the future. Having both parents and co parenting together is not necessarily a Broken home. Having two parents that are toxic towards each other whether in the same house or living separately is a Broken home.
Time passes…we grow…we change…dumb shit happens…the one you love is your heart…figure out who you see in your life…no matter what! Best friends have turned into learning lessons! Thankfully we have them!
1 Like
I think you’re confused on what a broken home is. It’s already broken.
4 Likes
It’s not broken, children only know happy. Just make the best for them and your happy will come. Broken is such a horrible way to look at it.
Just because you leave doesn’t mean your home will be broken. You can rebuild it yourself with someone who actually deserves your love and family. who knows maybe he’ll be ten times what your husband was . Sounds like this man is taking you guys for granted and you deserve more than that. So do your kids…
2 Likes
Move on sis. It will suck, especially if you still love him. But he’s already broken your marriage vows, your home & showed his intentions as far as where his heart lies. You deserve sooo much better! Them babies deserve to see YOU happy & you deserve to feel TRULY wanted & loved! Don’t settle for less. Keep your head up I hope you find the answers you’re looking for & make a decision that’s best for YOU
1 Like
If he is not willing to cut her off you need to go. He needs no more support from you while he hashes it out. You never know getting a taste of not having his family may change his mind. Men should NOT have women friends, just leads to trouble. A wife should be his best friend. -Elizabeth
2 Likes
If you stay in a loveless marriage he’ll cheat and guess what?? Your kids are in a broken marriage. Take the high road and teach them self worth and self respect. You deserve someone to love you
8 Likes
A broken home is better then a broken home
Fight for your marriage . You were married for a reason and getting help/counseling could be really helpful as well as some mentorship from some couples that have been through it all.
I’d rather my kids come from a “broken home” then live in one.
8 Likes
Your children won’t be grown up in a broken home. You need to think about yourself and your children. Let him get all the help he needs. Leave! It’ll be tough at first but I’m sure in the end you will be so much happier
1 Like
Your home is already broken. Your husband is not interested in honoring his vows and as long as you are going to allow this horiffic disrespect, it will continue. My advice is divorce.
8 Likes
If it was me i would get marrige counciling for you both. If he refuses to go then you will know he has other ideas about your relationship and if you put up with infifelity he will continue to do it regaurless how much you care or love him. You deserve to be happy not disrespected.
3 Likes
You are in a very difficult position and I am so sorry for that. He already broke the home by cheating. If you put up with it, you are role modeling to your kids that cheating is ok and they should put up with it from their partners or be free to do it to their partners.
1 Like
Your home can be broken with you being unhappy knowing how he feelings about his bestfriend and also if he decides to act upon those feeling with said bestfriend. Children whether really young or older pick up on the shifts in the family dynamics. I know you’ve been with your spouse since y’all where preteens BUT think about your children and most importantly YOU. #beblessed
2 Likes
Once a cheat, always a cheat…
He’s away getting help. See what he says when he is back
Was he cheating with her? Or does he just have feeling for her?
Does she know? How old is the baby and is she in a relationship?
1 Like
Facebook is not a professional counselor. See one fast
5 Likes
Two loving homes is better than a broken one 
10 Likes
ugh been there sweetheart Bitch up n move on… I know from experience that mother… isn’t worth it even if he is the Dad you have a right to be happy to… I’m here to tell you… You deserve happiness as well…
Your home is already broken. Don’t stay for the kids they truly don’t want that. It makes the children miserable. He’s telling you he’s in love with someone else-leave. Will it be easy? No. But in the end it’ll be worth it.
4 Likes
So many people marry the wrong person and then pay the price down the road. Its okay to end a marriage regardless of how difficult it is to do so. Doesnt makes him a bad person nor does it make you a failure.
1 Like
If he is willing to totally cut off contact with her and go to couples councilling and put effort into rebuilding your trust then I would consider giving him another chance, if he has even a slight issue cutting her off or doesn’t want to do councilling then I’d be pursuing a divorce. Better the kids come from a broken home an grow up seeing u being happy and independent or in a loving stable relationship than grow up with 2 parents that resent each other an don’t treat each other well because they are only together for the kids.
1 Like
If he stays your children will still grow up in a broken home.
His presence doesn’t negate that.
So do what’s best for you to be the healthiest you and that’ll reflect on your children and help them in the long run.
2 Likes
It won’t be a broken home if you two are going to be unhappy trying to make it work after finding this out. If leaving would make you happier, it’s better for the kids to see their parents separated and happy rather than together and unhappy good luck
3 Likes
I hate to say this but, it’s better to be raised in a broken home then to be raised by a broken mommy
I pray that you get through this
1 Like
They are ready in a broken home
1 Like
I can’t advise you what to do (it’s None if my business)… It’s hard to walk away… But, he did … I feel bad for you, this is a tuff one…
2 Likes
Goofy me, I figured you were his best friend. Have you jumped to the wrong conclusion?
His already cheating
Maybe Childern or child is his who knows…
2 Likes
Your home is ALREADY BROKEN
I don’t care how long you’ve been with someone if they cheat YOU LEAVE
If they confess they’re in love with someone else (aka emotional cheating) YOU LEAVE
Are you even sure you watched “her” baby and that you weren’t babysitting your husband’s baby?
3 Likes
Your home is already broken. Whatever you’re “trying to get him diagnosed” with isn’t an excuse for this and isn’t an excuse for you to stay in a situation that is less than you deserve. You deserve better than to be someone’s second choice/option. He needs to take responsibility for his crappy actions and not blame some diagnosis he may or may not have for it.
6 Likes
The fact that he calls her his best friend is a red flag for me. You should be his best friend and vice versa. My partner is my bestest bestest bestest friend! We share everything. I’d rather have a night at home laughing and joking with him, than hanging out with other people too often. Yes we still socialise with our friends, but sometimes we’d rather just hang out together and will pass on a social event. That’s true friendship.
He’s already having an emotional affair with her, by prioritising her and his friendship over you, your kids and your relationship. An emotional affair is enough for me to leave. Sorry you’re going through this.
5 Likes
You already know it’s over…
3 Likes
Ask yourself if you want your child to accept that same relationship style for themselves as adults. There’s your answer.
4 Likes
Giiiirrrrlll , if I were your kids , I’d rather my mama be the happiest person in the world . If you were my mama , I’d never wanna see you cry for someone who doesn’t care how much he’s hurt you … if you were my mama , I’d hug you and tell you we will be okeh without him xx
Your kids come first now , because he no longer holds the same position he once had you at . Now , you are third in line , and there should have never been one in the first place …
Think about it 
you and the babies deserve BETTER !! 
6 Likes
Ur home is clearly broken…per his words to u…he’s not in luv Wt U…
So …u can’t control his luv for another…but u have the ability to find someone who luvs U, now that the TRUTH is out…let em fly and luv urself n kiddos, he has made his bed let him sleep in it
4 Likes
I know this is the opposite of what you want to hear but please, suffocate him with freedom. Let him see that the grass ain’t greener on the other side. Do you risk losing him? Sure, but hear me out, if he is really lost then maybe he wasn’t yours to begin with because what’s your can’t be taken from you
4 Likes
I am my husbands best friend and he is mine … he should be your best friend and not have a girl best friend around how much she is and him doing everything for her makes me feel like it’s always been more with her… if you forgave the cheating the one time that should be the only one forgiven … he shouldn’t be able to go out fuck whoever he wants and then come home and say sorry and expect things to go bck to normal and things be okay … it’s hard with a broken home but who knows u may find someone who loves kids and wants to have a family with ur and raise ur kids like he would raise his own … it happens … I was married before we broke up but still talked … he had other girlfriends I always loved him there was feelings there he passed away and I was by his side the whole time but when I moved on I met my current husband who is a great stepdad to my kids and he does the whole family thing great and now I see how life is supposed to be… I so hope yoh find ur Prince Charming soon and you’ll see what I’m talking about
Therapy. People are quick to say leave. Don’t base other opinions or thoughts on your marriage. People make it work everyday. It takes work. At least you can say you tried.
2 Likes
Broken homes are when two people stay together unhappy. Break that stigma.
10 Likes
Your home is broken, and your miserable
3 Likes
While you’re correct, if y’all split it’ll be a broken home, if you stay it’ll still be a broken home. What is important here is the happiness of you and your spouse. Both of you have a lot of growing up to do and BOTH of you need to come to a decision of what will be best for the family as a whole. No matter how painful or hard. Just because you guys didn’t work out as a couple, doesn’t mean you can’t rock co-parenting in separate households.
2 Likes
If he loves her, I would leave and try to be amicable. So your children have a good co-parenting situation. The reason I say this, is because now that you know he loves her…would you be able to stay in the relationship knowing that he settled for “Second Best”
5 Likes
Stop. Stop being " in love " with somebody who doesn’t care about you. Or your family. He is good for alimony and child support ONLY !!! Pull on your big girl panties and step up and take care of YOUR children. Your lawyer is now your friend
2 Likes
Marriage is about love and commitment. Marriage is not always laughs and thrills. I hate when I read all comments to just walk away. That’s not what marriage is about and so many are so eager to throw in the towel. It takes work and time to mend a broken relationship. Give him the freedom he wants. It’s going to be hard but also know that he is going through a tough time right now. Sometimes in a relationship one walks behind or in front and not always side by side. We all go through things and not always at the same time. Also, I wouldn’t be so upset that you have helped the woman he says he loves. It’s not her fault if he truly is in love with her unless you find out otherwise. Give this time and don’t make any rash decisions. If your marriage survives this than you have taught your children that marriage is a lot of work but you were willing to go the extra mile to keep the love alive!
2 Likes